Chapter Text
Xiao was never a party person.
He hates socializing with other people that do dirty talk and flirtations. He hates the idea of grinding his pelvis or his ass on someone in a dim room with some lewd sex music on maximum. He hates the thought of trying to drink his ass off and have someone in bed once he wakes up. But because of Kazuha and Venti, he has no choice but to join this frat party that they were invited to.
It was the campus’ biggest party since Wu Zhongli won the title as the new MVP of the basketball team. And Zhongli is a good friend of his; he would never decline anything for Zhongli. Never. Not after getting saved from the fifth-grade bullies when they were in third grade. Zhongli has always been the reason why people are scared of hurting him, and he would be around him just to take care of Xiao.
Until that Ajax guy came during their second year of middle school. His eyes would light up green and red whenever Zhongli was around that baby-faced bitch Ajax.
Speaking of Ajax, there is a high chance he would attend Zhongli’s victory party. There is a high chance of seeing Ajax with Zhongli. And his chest is starting to feel stings and his stomach was turning in a bad way.
Xiao sighed and shoved his keys, wallet, and phone into the pocket of his Gucci leather jacket (courtesy of the kind neighbors named Ningguang and Beidou). He had his black turtle neck and ripped-on-the-thighs jeans on; his beanie is always with him to hide his damaged arctic-dyed hair. He does not like the whirling feeling within his guts. Especially with the way he highlighted his eyes with kohl liner into a smoky effect.
But he is hoping it will really become a good night for him.
It was nearing 10 in the evening when Kazuha and Venti picked him up with Kazuha’s silver Innova, where he sat on the back seat, squished somewhere with Xingqiu, Chongyun, Albedo, and Bennett. He inwardly inhaled when he saw the four idiots again.
“Ready to get your booty drilled, baby doll?! You lookin’ goddam’ hot!” Bennett yelled, arm draped around his shoulder and he whiffs alcohol and smoke. Bennett was laughing like a hyena again. Xiao gave him a fake smile and turned to Albedo, his voice dropping into a harsh whisper. “This shithead is drunk, isn’t he?”
Albedo gave him an apologetic grin and patted his back, somehow telling him that Bennett came from another party downtown and that made him shake his head in disbelief and amazement. Bennett is something.
“It’s alright, Xiao-ah. Bennett’s telling the truth. You look smoking hot.” Xingqiu raked his eyes on Xiao, licking his lips languidly. And now Xingqiu’s make-up includes a black eye.
What is up with these dudes on his get-up anyway?
They came to the venue at 10:30 and it seems like the whole house is packed. High-class cars parked around the area and the music coming from the house was loud enough to be heard around the whole neighborhood. Kazuha just parked his car a block away (he does not want his car to look like a sore thumb.)
And there were guys everywhere. There were only guys in the party walking around the area. There were only guys, just guys, hungry males (probably). Xiao blinked at the people coming in and out of the house. He was confused. Why are not there any girls around? He kept asking himself until there was a pair of arms around him.
“You came! I thought you’d lock up in your room again, Xiao!”
His chest skipped a bit. He saw Zhongli with a big grin on his face, the apples of his cheeks were rosy. Looks like the taller dyed his hair again in amber brown but only at the ends, complimenting his long locks. Xiao tried to stop himself from reaching to him, which he failed to do so.
“I love the hair,” Xiao murmured. Not even caring about his friends’ whereabouts. He was so into Zhongli’s appearance for tonight. The taller male was in a black dress shirt (a gift from Xiao last Christmas) and slacks. He does not seem he’s in a wild party, but he stands out the most.
“See, baobei? I told you your new hair color would look good on you!”
Both Zhongli and Xiao looked at the owner of the voice. Of course, it is Ajax, to Xiao’s dismay. He immediately removed himself from Zhongli’s warm embrace and noticed how his own friends ditched him for some random guys.
Xiao shifted his eyes from Zhongli to Ajax and back to him when the baby-faced bitch Ajax attached himself to the taller male, limbs all wrapped around his torso and Zhongli was leaning down to give the smaller a quick kiss on the lips (and the baby-faced bitch had the guts to chuckle.)
“Are you guys…?” Please, no. It’s not what I think it is. Don’t tell me. This is just a joke.
“Dating… Yeah, we’ve been dating for the past two months!” Ajax was too giddy to tell as if he was trying to rub it on Xiao’s face that he got his a finer man. He tried his best not to mock the other male (and kept his fist to himself). Keep it cool, Xiao, he told himself. You don’t need this shit.
Xiao’s face turned from a grumpy grandpa to a grinning child, hiding all of his bitterness with a fake smile and an exaggerated clap. Zhongli seemed convinced with it anyway.
“I’m really happy for you guys! You two look good together! You guys need to last long! Have babies soon! Make a baseball team!” Xiao’s words were dripping sarcasm, as well the hug that he gave to Zhongli, especially to Ajax. He added more pressure, making Ajax whimper, which the latter did not even notice the intention yet he beamed at Xiao. “Let’s celebrate, yeah?” Xiao bit himself hard as he snatched a cup of beer from the guy who was lurking around with a tray of beer cups in his hands.
Keep the act on. Zhongli wouldn’t notice this shit if you keep it up.
And it goes on. His act dropped after a few moments. Xiao finds himself in the corner of the room, looking at the lovely couple dancing in the middle of the living room with everyone cheering for them with eyes drowning in jealousy. It could’ve been him if he was not a scaredy-cat.
He could have said something to him, but where was he during those past two months?
Xiao was probably hiding from people.
Or he was too busy being jealous.
Maybe, he was probably too busy thinking all the possibilities that he did not know he let the chance slip and Ajax took this wholeheartedly.
He took another gulp of the bitter liquor; it was starting to taste just like him, too bitter.
“I need some fresh air…” He murmured to himself, pushing himself off the wall and going to the backyard. And to his dismay, he was greeted with a view of his friends playing strip poker.
He can hear Venti complaining to Kazuha to turn his phone off because “Tomo can fucking wait until midnight!” And Kazuha took his pants off, leaving him with his boxers and he earned cheers from the other players. He looks like an idiot, Xiao thought. His bony knees make it awkward.
Seems like everyone was having fun in their own way; he spotted Bennett talking to some man-chick at the corner. He speaks English funnily. Probably it was the alcohol working its magic. He even got the Razor guy’s number. Such a lucky bastard, he is.
Looks like you’re the only one who isn’t having fun.
All the events earlier were replaying in his mind that it made him sit on an empty bench. He can hear his heart break for the second time all because of a one-sided crush.
And it was so stupid.
He was delusional. Xiao was too occupied with his thoughts that he did not know someone took a seat next to him but caught his attention when the other cleared his throat.
The boy has golden hair, he was curious why it was so long and beautifully braided and his eyes resemble the stars as they twinkle gorgeously at night though it was lined in kohl as well. What was with eyeliners these days? The boy was in his black Professional Relaxer loose shirt and ripped leather pants.
The boy looked Xiao and smiled. “You alright, pal?”
Xiao snorted and slapped the hand of the boy away from him when the other was about to pat him on the back. Who is he to ask him that? Xiao gave him a side glared and sipped his beer without saying anything.
“I saw you glaring at Ajax earlier…”
He never thought his beer would be this painful to drink and it tastes like iron right now. His stomach was turning awfully and felt his back running cold. He turned to the boy; arm draped around the backrest and leaned to the younger. “Do you know how to fuck off? You need to mind your own business, kid.”
Xiao had no idea why the boy was laughing at him as if there was something funny about what he said. He does not know who was drunk; is it him or is it the boy with beautifully lined eyes?
“You know. You’re easy to read. You’re not okay. You’re obviously not. I think you need someone to talk to about it. Whatever it is, is it an angsty one-sided love or what? You need to let it out.” The other offered, scooting dangerously close to Xiao.
“If you knew that I’m not okay, why did you even bother? Why did you even ask me if I was okay? Are you that dumb to ask someone if they’re okay if it’s that goddamned obvious that they’re fucking broken? And why would I tell you my problem? I don’t even know you.” He shook his head, turning back to his friends. He can feel his blood boiling. Why is he there anyway?
The boy muttered that his name was Aether and he was invited by Ajax himself since he is a close friend. Ah, now he knows why he was so annoying.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m an acquaintance or a stranger. Don’t you think it’s better if you open whatever you feel to someone? It sets you free from heartaches and guilt. I asked because it’s a conversation starter. It doesn’t matter if it sounded dumb to you or to anyone. I just wanted to know how it… how it feels.”
Xiao’s eyes shifted back to Aether as if there was something that clicked. There was sadness in his eyes yet Aether still managed to smile at him. “You’re an idiot for falling for an annoying baby-faced bitch like him. You’re an idiot for smiling like that after getting hurt emotionally.”
“I know. That’s why I came to you.”
Xiao does not know again how many cups of beer did he have that night. Or how many times did he call Aether an idiot? How long was he talking to the idiot? How many times did he lean on him? How many times did they share kisses? Did his friends see him with Aether?
But all he knows, he woke up alone in an unfamiliar bedroom at 12:40 in the afternoon with a terrible headache, sheets on the floor, and there was nothing on him.
Shit just got real.
Xiao came back to his apartment at 1:50PM. It seems like that Aether kid didn’t leave any trace. There were no post-it notes with his number on, attached on the bedside table like those weird-ass dramas he sees on movies when he woke up. That shit was not even considerate; he didn’t even put some Advil for him.
A hot bath sounds nice right now, he thought. It will erase any traces of yesterday’s events; the beer that tasted too strong for his liking, Zhongli and Ajax… And maybe Aether.
He wants to forget what happened between them.
He wants to forget Aether.
But once he started bathing, all he could think about was Aether. His eyes. His slight dialect whenever he talks too fast. The way his cheeks flush pink whenever he smile. His voice was pretty nice to listen to. The way he smiled even he was exhausted to fake that he was fine. Aether is Aether.
Xiao looked up at the ceiling, rethinking of the harsh words that he told Aether that night and how rude he was. But the point is that he never wanted any help with his problems. He always thought that he can handle it on his own.
But how come he cannot when his problem revolves around Zhongli?
Shaking his head at the question, Xiao rose to get out of the tub. The hot bath made him realize one thing.
He is the stupid one.
Days passed by turned to weeks, and turned to months. And alas, it has been 7 months since Xiao met Aether. And within those months, Aether invaded his mind. It is driving him crazy.
Kazuha was getting worried because Xiao was quiet the whole day as the latter was only thinking of one person. Kazuha nudged Venti’s elbow and cocked his head to Xiao. “What’s wrong with him?
“I don’t know. He’s been like that after Zhongli’s party.”
“But that was months ago!”
“I know but there must be something that happened!” Venti exclaimed with a mouth full of sticky honey roast meat.
“You guys, if you want to know, you can always ask me. Don’t act like I can’t hear you.” Xiao rolled his eyes before taking a bite of his burger.
“Okay, dude. Chill? But what the fuck is wrong with you?” Kazuha squeaked, throwing a fry at the latter (which was saved by Xingqiu who appeared out of nowhere.) Kazuha sighed when Xiao started pouting.
“Holy shit- Wang Xiao pouted! Our baby boy is acting cute-“
“Shut up, Hua Xingqiu-“
“This is the best fucking day of my fucking life-“
“Hua Xingqiu!”
“Okay, shit. Tell us.”
Sighing deeply, Xiao started telling them the whole story. He thought that they gossip better than his sister Ganyu with the way they were leaning closer to him.
Xiao emphasizes how deeply hurt he was when he knew Zhongli and Ajax were officially dating, his sudden realization of his one-sided love, and how Aether ruined his life in just one night and how he was craving for his presence. Every time he mentions Aether, despite the fact that they only met once (and had a one-night stand); he does not understand why he wants him that bad.
With Albedo popping out of nowhere with a cup of vanilla ice cream in hand, he snorted at the story. “You’re the dumbest person I have ever met, beside Bennett, of course. You were denying the fact that Zhongli has a thing for Ajax from the moment he met him. And you let yourself believe that Zhongli would make a goddamn move to you. That’s not how it works, Xiao.”
Albedo was right. He did ignore those signs and thinks selfishly. Every single word from Albedo was like a sharp knife through the heart. Such a bitter reality but he cannot do anything about it.
“If you like someone, move. Make that person feel it because if you’re not going to do anything then let someone else have your place. And that was what Ajax did. But you know there was someone else better. I’m not saying he’s really better than Zhongli. But that Aether kid, he got you real good. He understands you. He’s in the same situation you are. I don’t know. It’s like fate made you meet that night.”
“But the problem is that Aether kid isn’t from here…” Xingqiu said, munching on Venti’s chocolate butternut doughnut, and Venti whined quietly, snatching it from Xingqiu’s hand.
“Well, didn’t he say he is Ajax’s close friend? Why don’t you talk to Ajax?” Kazuha said, eyes were full of concern, and bit his lower lip. Xiao wanted to laugh at his face but, seeing the distress on Kazuha, he was about to say okay but then again Venti, being the angry bird in the group, hit Kazuha’s arm. Yes, it echoed in the cafeteria. Ooh, that’s going to leave a mark.
“Bastard, can’t you understand his hatred for Ajax?! And you want him to talk to him?!”
“Well, if it’s to clear everything and make Xiao at ease from his heartbreak, why not?” Albedo said.
Everyone at the table looked at Albedo before a voice greeted them.
“What’s wrong, guys?”
It was Tomo, Kazuha’s boyfriend. But Venti was the one who was glad to see him, “Holy shit, Tomo- I’m so glad to see you! Tell your shithead boyfriend and Albedo that it’s dumb to talk to the person who took your man!” Venti seemed desperate to have someone on his side of the argument.
Tomo took a seat next to his boyfriend, put his bag down on the table, and asked what happened. Kazuha was the one who told the whole story, in Xiao’s perception. Venti would ‘annoyingly’ butt in, even Xingqiu, about how wrong it would be to ask Ajax about Aether’s whereabouts.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. If Aether will make our Xiao happy, why not talk to Ajax then?” Venti gaped at Tomo before throwing a fry at the older, making Kazuha glare at him.
“Xiao should clear out everything he feels. He should talk to both Zhongli and Ajax, and then ask about Aether. It’s just to release the tension. Zhongli was worried about Xiao. He told me he knows about Xiao’s little crush, he wanted to talk to him. I think this is a chance to put an end to it.”
In the end, Xiao agreed with Tomo and Albedo, earning groans and whines from Xingqiu and Venti.
And they found Bennett stuck with that Razor guy at the corner of the cafeteria, making out as if there was no tomorrow.