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Dean walks into the restaurant, scanning for an unruly mop of dark hair. He’s not sure about this online dating thing but one look at Cas and Dean couldn’t say no. He’s gotta at least try it out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to wrap his legs around that man and ride him. He sees what he can only describe as sexy hair and smiles. He moves towards the table. “Hey, are you Cas?” He asks the figure.
The man turns, eyes squinting and unsure. “Are you Dean?” His voice sounds like he got drunk and then gargled shrapnel. He stands and offers his hand. Dean takes the offered hand and shakes, squeezing slightly. Cas is wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt and a blue tie that he doesn't seem to notice is tied backwards. He’s hands are soft, not what he expected for a park ranger but Dean’s traitorous mind immediately thinking of how good those long fingers will feel inside him. He draws his hand back and smiles nervously.
“Thanks for meeting me.” Dean says as he sits down. “I wasn’t sure you would show. We barely started talking. It’s, uh, it’s easier for me to get to know people in person.”
“You’re quite handsome. I would be a fool to stand you up.” Cas folds his hands in his lap and watches Dean. Dean feels like he’s being studied and he resists the urge to squirm in his seat. A smile plays on Cas’s lips as he takes a drink of his wine.
“So, a park ranger?” Dean looks down at his menu. “That’s gotta be pretty cool.”
“Olympic National Park is very spectacular. Have you been?” Cas asks. “The Hoh Rain Forest is particularly impressive.”
“So do you have a cabin out there?”
“I have a house in Port Angeles but yes, there is a cabin for the rangers to stay in when we are working. You would be surprised how many people are unprepared for hikes or think interacting with a bear is a good decision.” Cas sips his wine.
“Bears? You deal with bears?”
“Not often.” Cas chuckles. “I know it’s better to leave the bears alone.”
“Wait, why did you agree to meet me?” Dean asks. “Port Angeles is like three hours away.”
“Two and half.” Cas corrects. “You seemed interesting. And I had some other business to take care of in Olympia.”
“Two and a half hours for a date?” Dean chuckles. “I feel like I should tell you now I’m not worth the drive.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Cas smiles. The waitress comes by and takes their order. Dean orders a steak and baked potato and Cas orders some fresh salmon with roasted vegetables. Dean tucks into his steak and moans with each bite. Cas watches him with growing fascination. “You said you are a writer. Anything I might have read?” Cas asks.
“I’ve done a lot of ghost writing and technical writing. So if you can get your hands on the new IT department handbook at Boeing you can check out some of my work.” Dean laughs. “I just finished a big job and have the means to take some time off from other stuff to work on what I want. I also signed a three book contract about a month ago for my own stuff. I’ve started a horror novel, it’s in early stages but I like it.”
“Horror? Interesting.” Cas smiles. “Can you tell me more about it?”
“It’s not exactly dinner conversation man.” Dean laughs.
“I have a strong stomach. Indulge me.” Cas sips his wine. “Please. I’m interested.”
“Uh, it’s a serial killer story but they end up in a house haunted by one of her previous victims.”
“A female serial killer?” Cas smiles. “There aren’t many of those.”
“Yeah, I wanted to give it something different. They are in a relationship and he finds out his girlfriend kills people.”
Cas leans forward. “How does she do it? Kill people, I mean.”
“That’s sorta where I’m stuck. I’ve written so many death scenes but none of them feel right, you know? I don’t want to go with poison or something like that. This chick is a badass. But I also don’t want to do the whole, big ass phallic knife slasher thing. I gotta think up something original.” Dean takes a sip of his beer. “How would you kill someone?”
Cas stills, knife slicing through his fish. He places his utensils down and looks at Dean. He tilts his head and just watches him for a very long time. “Is she white?” Cas asks. “Your killer, is she white?”
“Uh, I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“Death by cop.” Cas picks up his fork and spears his fish. “She sets it up so it looks like domestic violence and then allows him to be shot by the police. She’s new. Maybe killed once before, in the heat of the moment. But the one in the house she planned. That’s why no one lives in the house.”
“Son of a bitch.” Dean mutters. “That’s,” he chuckles. “That’s good. Can I-” Dean pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts typing. “Sorry.” He looks up and Cas and smiles. “I just want to write this down before I forget.” Dean goes back to typing. Cas watches with a fond smile on his face. “Death by cop. That’s good, but the domestic violence thing won’t work, not for the long run anyway. So maybe she works victim advocacy or outreach. And then frames them, gets hurt when she's with them, calls the cops, and bam.” Dean nods and he talks, a smile growing on his face. “This is really good. Thank you.”
“Happy to help.” Cas smiles back. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Yeah. We could go back to my place? It isn’t much but there’s a bed.”
“I have a hotel room not far from here.” Cas waves down the waitress and pays the bill. He stands and offers his hand to Dean. Dean takes it and Cas links their arms together. Cas walks them out of the restaurant and down the street. Cas leads them into the Hilton Garden Inn, past the front desk and to the elevators. Dean’s hand slips down and he laces their fingers together. He feels good about this. There’s something about Cas that makes him feel safe. Cas leads them out of the elevator and to a door. Dean leans against the wall as he watches Cas fight with the electronic lock. The light turns green and Cas smiles triumphantly. He grabs Dean’s shirt and pulls him into the room, the door swinging shut behind him.
Cas releases Dean and shrugs off his suit jacket. He hangs it in the closet as Dean moves to sit on the bed. Dean looks around the room. He doesn't know what to do in this situation. If this were just a hookup he would strip and sink to his knees in front of Cas but this is a date. He sees Cas watching him again and for a moment he feels like a rabbit watching a wolf watch him but he shakes it off.
“So…” Dean starts, “uh, you never told me how you would kill someone.” Dean cringes internally. Could he kill the moment any faster?
“It’s not very creative but I like to watch them bleed to death.”
“You WOULD watch them bleed to death.” Dean corrects.
“Sure.” Cas smiles. He sits down next to Dean and places his hand on Dean’s thigh. “I like you Dean.”
“I hope so.” Dean smiles. “Unless you are bringing me back here to kill me.” Dean laughs. “Son of a bitch.” Dean says to himself. “I promise I’m not some weirdo who only talks about death. I like all kinds of things! I like cars, and classic rock, and Kurt Von-”
Cas cuts him off with a kiss. Dean melts into it, his hands move to Cas’s neck, his fingers in his messy hair. Before he can stop himself he moans into Cas’s mouth as the dark haired man’s tongue plays against the seam of his lips. Cas pulls away too soon and Dean is left breathless. He tries to pull Cas back into a kiss but Cas chuckles and stands. He walks in front of Dean, rolling up his sleeves.
“I would very much like to continue but I have a confession to make.”
Dean’s eyes narrow. Cas is between him and the door. He’s sure he can tackle him and make it out the door if it comes to that. “Uh, what?”
“I knew who you were before our date.” Cas’s eyes are soft. “I remembered reading an article about what happened to you when you were a kid. I was curious when I found out your name. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Oh.” Dean says softly. “That’s a mood killer.” He laughs. “Look, a lot of what was printed didn’t really explain stuff. And the hustling, my kid brother had to eat, you know? And I’ve been tested, a lot! I’m clean.” Dean stands and shuffles awkwardly. “I was going to tell you. It just didn’t seem like first date material.” Dean swallows thickly. “I’ll go. It was nice to meet you Cas. Thank you for dinner.” Dean pulls out his wallet and drops a 50 on the bed. “That’s for my dinner.” Dean moves towards the door but Cas grabs his arm.
“You don’t have to go.” Cas looks at him with sad eyes. “I just wanted you to know that you didn’t have to explain any of it. Honestly I’m impressed with your tenacity and pleased to see you have become so normal.”
“Oh, yeah, asking a guy how he would kill people on a first date isn’t exactly normal.” Dean huffs. He doesn’t shake off Cas’s grip. He wants Cas to be okay with this but who would want damaged goods like Dean.
“I can see you thinking you aren’t good enough.” Cas says softly. “Stop it. Everyone has a past. Everyone has things that make them think they are unlovable. I’m not the one running, you are.”
Dean shakes Cas’s hand off of him and takes a step back. “Oh yeah? My mom died in a house fire when I was four. I carried my brother out screaming and crying and my dad never forgave me for saving the baby instead of my mom. I got caught selling myself at 14 years old so I could feed my brother while my alcoholic father was off on a bender after he caught me making out with a girl instead of watching Sammy. When the state took us away and placed us with my uncle, my dad got drunk and then shot in some alley. What have you got that makes you so unlovable? Parents didn’t buy you a pony? You obviously have money with this fancy hotel, your Tom Ford suit, and buying a meal for a stranger that costs a third of my monthly food budget. What’s your big secret that scares people away, huh?” Dean pushes him. He’s angry and embarrassed for exposing himself like this. Nothing Cas can say will be worse than what he went through. He knows there’s no way a guy like Cas would want him.
Cas smiles sadly. He reaches for Dean and then changes his mind. He sits on the bed and looks at his hands. “This isn’t going at all how I imagined. What do you think it says about me that I’m excited you can keep me on my toes?” He looks up at Dean. “I won’t stop you if you want to leave. I won’t contact you. You will be entirely safe.” Cas takes a deep breath, his eyes turn cold. “I kill people.”
“Bullshit.” Dean says in disbelief. “No, bullshit. You’re making fun of me.”
“And why would I do that?”
“You’re trying to scare me or something.” Dean says. “I get it. You don’t like me. You don’t have to be a creep about it.”
“I like you very much. That’s why I told you.” Cas runs his hand through his hair. “I thought maybe as a writer you would keep an open mind. I see I was wrong. It’s easier for you to think I am insane.”
“If I told you I was a killer would you believe me?” Dean balks.
“Of course not.” Cas waves away the notion. “You’re no killer.”
“Did... did you bring me here to kill me?”
“That would be pretty poor planning on my part, wouldn’t it? Given all the security cameras that saw us? It would have been smarter to go to your home. Or some alley, probably close to the college but not close enough to arouse suspicions. We would take your car. I’d let you take me to some secluded spot. When you tried to kiss me I would direct you downward. You would smile that cocky grin and start to unzip my pants. And then I would stab you. I’d hold you close while you died. You would fight. You look like a fighter. But I would win. And then I would leave you in your car and disappear.” Cas has not moved from the bed. He’s looking through Dean, a small smile playing on his lips. Dean takes three steps back. He’s done. He turns, left hand on the doorknob and stops.
“What about the blood?” He calls over his shoulder.
“What?”
“You would be covered in blood. How would you get away without anyone seeing the blood on your way back to your car?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.” Cas tilts his head curiously. “What would you do about the blood Dean?”
This is insane. He should leave. Cas is clearly crazy but Dean can’t just walk away from a good story. “You need to lay my jacket down first.” Dean turns to look at Cas. “If you lay my jacket down, it will direct most of the blood onto the floor. The leather would mostly protect your clothes.” Dean swallows thickly. “And don’t direct me down to blow you. You make like you are going to blow me but use the seat belt to trap me, strangle me.”
Cas stands and takes two steps closer to Dean. “You have a brilliant mind.”
“Why do you do it?”
“Because I’m not satisfied by just writing stories about it.”
“You think I want to kill people?” Dean hisses.
“I think that you spend as much time thinking about how to get away with murder as I do.” Cas moves closer. He could reach out and touch Dean. Dean is terrified and exhilarated. “I could help you. Let you know what actually works.”
“I don’t want to kill people.”
“People die every day Dean.” Cas shrugs. “You can’t stop that anymore than you can stop the stars from burning out.”
Dean refuses to be trapped against the door, he stands his ground as Cas moves so close Dean’s jacket brushes against Cas. “I could stop you.”
“I have no doubt about that Dean. I can see that you have multiple knives hidden on you but ask yourself, why are you still here? Why haven’t you run away Dean?”
Dean’s shoulders fall, he curls in on himself. Why hasn’t he run? Why is he debating murder with a crazy person. Why is he so fascinated by everything Castiel is saying?
“I- I don’t want to kill people.” Dean says again. “But maybe… I want…” Dean turns, turns the handle and pulls the door open but doesn’t run. Still he doesn’t run.
“You are so close.” Cas whispers. Dean thinks of the devil on his shoulder and wonders what the angel would say. “At least admit it to yourself Dean.”
“I want… I want to know what happens.” Dean whispers. “I want to know what they look like when they finally die.”
“I can show you.” Cas says. “If you let me.”
Dean could still run. Pretend this is all some bad dream. Pretend he doesn't think about finding the asshole who killed John before he could. Pretend that he only writes horror and death because it sells and not because he likes imagining it. He could still leave here unchanged.
Dean closes the door. He swallows uncomfortably and turns to face Cas. “Is that, uh, a first date activity?” Dean asks uncertainty. “Or is it more of a fourth date thing? After we’ve had sex and you haven’t killed me?” Dean chuckles nervously.
Cas smiles wide and brings a gentle hand to Dean’s shoulder. “Anything you want Dean.”
Dean stares at the man in front of him and imagines him covered in blood, smiling at Dean, offering him a bloody knife. Dean grabs his shirt and pulls him into a kiss. Dean kisses him harshly, all tongue and teeth and Cas simply moans into it, letting Dean have control. Dean pulls back and looks at Cas. “I want to find the son of a bitch that murdered my dad.”