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It was as they were settling into bed after a long day including Allegra’s first birthday party that Maya decided to bring it up. It had been a big day. The whole firefam plus so many doctors Maya wondered who could possibly be left at the hospital had come together to celebrate their daughter’s first year of life. Having a winter baby meant that they had rented out a room to have the party, deciding there was no way they could accommodate all their expected guests at their house and an outdoor party being simply out of the question in the unpredictable weather.
“What would you say if I said I wanted another baby?” Maya spat the question out as they lay in their usual position for that time of night, Maya flat on her back and Carina propped on her side, playing with Maya’s hair, something she’d always loved to do. Maya braced herself for rejection when Carina froze, her fingers twined in her wife’s hair, which was currently the longest it had been since her eventful haircut. She’d kept it fairly short since that day, but hadn’t had the opportunity in a while to get it cut, between work and planning Allegra’s party, leading to its current length.
Carina leaned in to kiss Maya below her ear. “Bambina, why do you sound scared to ask that?”
“I don’t know. I know we talked about having more than one when we decided to have Allegra, but she’s still so young. Hell, she’s still breastfeeding. And I know there was a bigger gap between you and Andrew, but there’s only 15 months between me and Mason and I really loved that when we were kids. And I know I’m asking a lot, because you have to do all the hard work. But what do you think?”
“I think you’re not asking for anything I wouldn’t do for you, Maya. I’m just surprised. Like I told you two years ago, I pictured myself having at least two. I just didn’t expect you to be ready quite so soon. Then again, our daughter is pretty fantastico, if I do say so myself.” Carina smiled warmly, letting her fingers start to weave through Maya’s hair again.
“So are you ready? Or do you still want to wait? We could wait until she’s two or whatever you want.”
“No, let’s not wait. I think it would be great for our kids to be close in age. And we got lucky the first time. It only took three tries to get pregnant with Allegra. I’m a little older, so it might take longer this time. We should get started as soon as possible. So I guess what I’m saying is I would love to have another baby with you, Bambina.”
“Great!” Maya smiled. “So, uh, you want to practice with me right now? Just to make sure we remember how.”
“You’re such a dork.” Despite her words, Carina had a smile of her own on her lips and immediately got to work undressing her wife.
----
Since it was their second time around, the process went more quickly. They opted to use the same donor they’d used for Allegra. Once again, they kept their plans a secret from everyone, even their closest friends. As excited as they were, they tried to keep their attempts to conceive from interrupting their lives as much as possible, which was made more difficult as each month brought disappointment. On their fourth attempt, there was some hope as Carina’s period did not come when it was expected. Maya had to go to work, so Carina promised to call with the news either way after getting a blood test.
Maya was in her office doing paperwork when Carina called with the double whammy of a negative blood test and the arrival of her period. While on the phone, Maya tried to stay positive, reminding Carina they still had two more tries with IUI before moving to the more expensive IVF, and that they knew it could take a while. She hung up with the promise of bringing Carina breakfast in bed the following morning to start their shared day off. However, once she’d hung up the phone, she slammed it down on the desk, disappointed once again.
When her anger didn’t ease after five minutes, she decided to do something productive with it and made her way to the gym. She started on the treadmill as usual, but found it not helpful, so she moved to the punching bag. She didn’t even notice she’d started crying until Andy came in.
“Maya? What’s wrong?” Andy stood a few feet away, cautious about approaching the obviously distressed woman.
“Nothing. I’m fine.” Maya immediately brushed off Andy’s concerns and continued punching.
“Well, that’s a lie.” That comment earned Andy a sharp glare.
“I said I’m fine and I meant it.” There was no way Maya could tell Andy why she was upset without revealing that they were trying and she didn’t want to break Carina’s trust. She continued punching even more aggressively until she felt a hand on her shoulder and she crumpled to the ground. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
“Do you need me to call Carina?” Andy knelt on the floor next to Maya, looking her over for signs of any physical distress.
“No. Please don’t. She has enough going on.” Maya took a deep breath. “We’re trying again, okay? And we thought she was pregnant again, but she just called and said the test was negative. I don’t know why I’m so upset. I just got really hopeful this morning. And now it’s all gone. It’s stupid. We’ve been through this before. I don’t even know why I’m crying right now.”
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re disappointed. I get it. Allegra is easily one of the coolest kids I’ve ever met. I can’t blame you for wanting another one.”
“I wasn’t like this last time. It took three tries last time, but I wasn’t so tense all the time about it.”
“That makes sense.” Maya looked up in confusion, so Andy continued, “Before Carina got pregnant with Allegra, you didn’t know what it would be like. But now you’ve been through it and you’ve been a parent. You know how much you like it. So you know what you’re not getting again every time it doesn’t take.”
“Carina loved being pregnant. And I loved her being pregnant.” Maya wiped the tears out of her eyes. “And we both really want this. It gets harder every month to hold her hand and hope and then be let down. I want another baby, but I don’t know how much longer I can go through this.”
“You want my advice?” When Maya nodded, Andy said, “Talk to Carina. Tell her everything you just told me. She’s your wife and she loves you and wants you to feel good and okay about things. I know she does because she always has.”
“You’re right,” Maya sighed. When Andy threw her fists up in victory, Maya scoffed. “Don’t be so smug. I would have gotten there on my own eventually.” She paused. “Or Carina would have dragged it out of me.”
-----------
“It’s time for this one to get some pajamas on.” Maya stood up and helped Allegra get down from her own seat. “I’ll be right back.” Maya pulled Allegra onto her hip, but, always her mothers’ daughter, Allegra immediately asked to be put down. As she crept toward her second birthday, she was increasingly reluctant to be carried or allow anyone to do anything for her, insisting on trying everything for herself.
Once she confirmed Maya was out of hearing range, Carina turned back to Andy and said firmly, “You need to tell Maya you’re pregnant.”
Andy nearly spat the water she’d just drunk out. “What? I - uh, how?”
“I’m an OB/GYN, a very good one. Of course I know.” Carina spoke quickly and fairly quietly, not wanting to be overheard in case Maya came back more quickly than she expected. “And also, if you haven’t seen an OB, you need to find one. I’m happy to take you on as a patient, but if you’d be more comfortable with someone else, I can give you some names. But you need to tell Maya. Before your next shift. You cannot allow her to continue sending you into burning buildings.”
“I just found out yesterday and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell her. I know you guys have been trying and not having any success and now I’m pregnant after just a few months off birth control.” Andy looked down at her hands, avoiding eye contact with Carina.
“Maya’s a big girl. So am I. I couldn’t do my job if I could not separate my own journey from my patients’. And you’re her best friend. Trust me when I say she’ll be happy for you. So please tell her.”
“Okay. I’ll tell her before I leave tonight. And of course I want you to do my prenatal care. I wouldn’t trust it to anyone else.”
“Good. Tell Maya and we’ll set up an appointment for next week. And since we’re friends, I have to tell you my promise to you as your physician will be to keep your medical information private as I do for any other patient, even from Maya. And hey, one good thing about you getting pregnant before me means I’ll be able to take you the whole way through your pregnancy and delivery instead of having to hand your care off to someone else during my maternity leave.” Carina smiled reassuringly and placed her hand on Andy’s shoulder. “One way or another, Maya and I will be parents again. Do not allow her temporary disappointment to dampen your joy.” She pulled Andy forward into a tight hug. “Congratulations.”
When they heard footsteps approaching, they pulled back as if they’d been doing something decidedly less innocent than they actually were. Andy was wiping tears out of her eyes when Maya and Allegra appeared from around the corner. “Sorry that took me so long. Miss Independent here insisted on dressing herself for bed. But now she’s ready for good night kisses, her toothbrush, and a bedtime story.”
When Maya saw the tears on Andy’s face, she started to ask what had happened, but Carina’s voice interrupted. “Why don’t I do bedtime tonight? I think you and Andy need to talk.” She turned to Allegra. “Say good night to Mommy and Aunt Andy, Allegra. It’s time for bed.” Andy and Maya each took a turn saying good night before handing Allegra off to Carina.
“So you want to tell me why you and my wife jumped apart like I’d walked in on you making out? Because I’m a little confused.”
Andy decided she just needed to rip the bandage off. “I’m pregnant. That’s what that was about.”
Maya was stunned into silence for a few moments before checking her facial expression. “Wow. Uh, congratulations.” She leaned forward and shared an awkward hug with her best friend, trying to convey her excitement while warring with her own disappointment.
“I’ve been putting off telling you because I kept hoping you guys would have good news of your own soon and we could celebrate together. But my new OB just informed me that I should probably let my captain know.”
Maya laughed despite herself. “I’m happy for you. Truly. Being a parent means more to me than I expected. And hey, when Carina gets pregnant, think about how great it’ll be to have our kids so close together.”
“Thank you.” Andy leaned in for another hug. “Well, I should actually get going. Thanks for dinner and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Maya knew Andy didn’t really need to leave right that minute, but suspected Andy could sense that she was waiting to make her escape to Carina.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow. Next shift, we can discuss your modified duties.” Maya walked Andy to the door and closed the door behind her. As she reached up to wipe the first tears from her eyes, a hand on her shoulder turned her around and two warm, familiar arms pulled her in.
“Maya, give it time. I know you’re not used to not succeeding immediately, but it will work. Or we’ll do IVF. Or adopt. This is why we made the plan. If you need to change the plan, we can revisit that. If you decide you’re done trying, just say the word.”
“No, I’m good. I’m just sad for us right now. But hey, we’re going to be aunts. That’s something to celebrate, right?”
“Of course it is. Come on. Our daughter is sleeping and tomorrow’s our next attempt to make her a big sister. Let me take you to bed so we can practice, really increase our chances.”
---
“Bino.” Allegra jabbed her tiny finger into Carina’s belly. “Mama, bino.”
“Yes, Allegra. That’s where you grew before you were born.”
“No, Mamma. Bino.” Another jab to her belly reminded Carina it was time to clip Allegra’s fingernails as one painfully dug into her. The look on Allegra’s face made Carina laugh with how it so strongly resembled Maya’s face when she was annoyed with Carina. Carina brushed off the comment. Maybe all the baby talk around the house hadn’t missed little ears the way they thought it had.
When Maya got home an hour later, Carina told her what Allegra had said and suggested they cut the baby talk until after Allegra was asleep at night to make sure she didn’t spill the beans to anyone.
“That’s funny that she said that. I know a couple that found out she was pregnant with their second one because their first child told them his mom was having a baby.”
“Maya, my period isn’t even due for another four days. How could she possibly know anything?”
“I didn’t say she did. Just, wouldn’t it be a great story if she was right? You had to know our daughter would be brilliant with you as her mom, but now we can claim she’s a little bit psychic.”
“Maya, I don’t think she meant anything by it. She’s probably just finally starting to understand the connection between the big bellies and the babies that come from them. She’s seen pictures of me when I was pregnant with her.”
“I am going to go to the drug store and I am going to get one of those tests that claim to tell you you’re pregnant before your missed period. If it’s negative, I’ll never bring this up again, but if it’s positive, you owe me.”
“Fine, Bambina, but I really think it’s nothing.”
Less than half an hour later, they had their answer. “I still think it’s a coincidence. I don’t think we should trust this test.” Carina was pouting, actually pouting, on the closed toilet lid while Maya did her victory dance around their bathroom.
“Carina, get up here. You’re missing the most important thing. We are going to have another baby.” Maya tugged Carina up by her hands and pulled her in for a kiss. Carina’s pouting frown curled up into a smile of her own.
“We’re having a baby.” Carina’s body relaxed as she leaned into her wife, joining her in a happy little dance. “It finally worked.”
----
“Since she told us, we might as well let her tell everyone else,” Carina reasoned as she helped Allegra pull the shirt over her head.
“You know, I was never cheesy before I met you,” Maya insisted. “I would have just put this in a group text, or maybe mentioned it at breakfast while people were eating.”
Carina scoffed, looking up at her wife. “Where’s the fun in that?” Then she turned back to Allegra. “Okay, big sister. Ready to go visit the fire station?”
“Fire!” Allegra said, grabbing her backpack and racing for the door. Carina had a later start that morning, so first it was off to the fire station to drop off Mommy and share the news then off to the hospital to share the news again.
Travis was the first to notice their arrival, bending down to scoop Allegra up when she ran for him. “Show him your shirt,” Carina encouraged, reminding Allegra of her purpose. Travis gripped her under her arms and held her back so he could read, “ONLY CHILD: EXPIRING 2025.” He then turned her around so the rest of the team could see it as well. Despite the fact that they already had a firehouse baby on the way, the team was no less enthusiastic for this one. Hugs were shared and Allegra laughed as she was passed around for hugs of her own, though she didn’t fully understand what was happening.
------
“Take me to Seattle Pres.” Maya was emphatic. “It’s not that emergent. We have time.” She’d managed to hide the injury from her team for the time it took them to get back to the station before Travis noticed the blood soaking her side and insisted on taking her to the hospital.
“Uh, it’s not protocol.” Travis was confused.
“I am your captain. I’m ordering you to take me to Seattle Pres.”
Andy walked over to the aid car just then. “I’m about to call Carina. I’ll make sure she knows you’re on your way.”
“Do not call my wife.” Maya hissed as the skin pulled at her side. “Andy, listen to me. You CANNOT tell Carina about this. She already worries about me enough.”
“Maya, how on earth do you expect to keep it from her? She’s going to know as soon as you take your shirt off. You think you’re not going to take your shirt off in front of her until it’s healed? I lived with you guys. I know that’s not happening.”
“Well, that has not been happening lately.” As soon as she said it, the words that had come out of her mouth horrified Maya.
“Wait,” Andy stopped right before hitting the call button on her phone. “Are you saying you and Carina haven’t been having sex?”
Travis was suddenly desperate to occupy himself with anything else, so he moved up to the front to update Ben on the new plan.
“No! I’m not discussing that with you or anyone else. Montgomery, let’s go.” She craned her neck to talk to Travis before turning back to Andy. “Do not call Carina. That’s an order.”
An hour and a half later, Maya had a neat row of stitches with gauze covering it. She’d been cleared to go and was just waiting for Andy to come pick her up to take her back to the station so she could drive home. She was glad the call came later in her shift and a look at the clock told her Carina was already at work for the day and would have dropped Allegra off at the daycare. She would sometimes go to the hospital to see Carina and Allegra before going home to sleep on days like these when their shifts meant just missing each other, but she knew that Carina would too easily realize there was more than just a long shift behind those eyes. She always could see more of Maya than anyone else, sometimes more than Maya wanted anyone to see.
When Andy arrived, she brought different plans. She told Maya she’d grabbed her things from the station, including some clothes for her to wear home, and was driving her and her car home. She promised she’d have someone come pick her up before Carina brought Allegra home, but did try again to get Maya to let her call Carina. The stubborn fire captain refused yet again. She reluctantly allowed them to wheel her out of the hospital, but insisted she could get herself into the car, gritting her teeth as she took the two required steps and slipped into the passenger seat.
When they got back to her home, however, she had to concede defeat and allow Andy to help her inside. There was only one step up, but her first attempt to lift her leg up high enough drew an involuntary groan of pain. Andy smirked, but said nothing, just wrapping Maya’s arm around her own shoulder and allowing Maya to put most of her weight on Andy as she got up the step.
Once she was up the step, she shrugged Andy’s arm off and let herself into her home. She knew Andy wouldn’t leave until she was satisfied that Maya could take care of herself at least until Carina got home that evening. Andy could see the pain in every step Maya was taking, but knew without asking that any help she offered would be refused. “Andy, I’m fine,” she insisted again. “I’m just going to get in bed and try to sleep until my girls get home.”
“Yeah, I’m going to hang around for a bit, just in case. Make sure you get in bed safely at least. Please. When Carina finds out, I’m at least going to be able to say that I tried my best.”
“She is not going to find out and you are not going to tell her.” Maya unselfconsciously pushed her pants down her legs. Years of living together on shift every third day meant modesty amongst the members of her team was an afterthought. She was able to kick the pants off easily, but as soon as she tried to pull up her shirt, she knew she was stuck. Fine, she decided. She’d just sleep in the shirt. When she started to walk toward the bed, Andy’s voice interrupted her.
“Maya, you were at an active fire scene just a few hours ago. You reek of smoke. Even if Carina somehow doesn’t see the wound, she’s definitely going to notice that you got in your bed smelling like an ashtray.”
Maya huffed as she walked back toward Andy, who had leaned her body into the door jamb. When Maya said nothing, Andy simply raised her eyebrows expectantly. Maya narrowed her eyes, but knew from the look on Andy’s face that she wouldn’t be giving in this time. “Andy,” she started slowly, grimacing through every word. “Would you please help me take my shirt off so I can take a shower?”
Andy smiled victoriously. “Of course, Captain. I’d be happy to help you.” Andy helped Maya get the shirt over her left arm and head, then let it drop down her right side, eliminating the need for Maya to raise her right arm and pull on the stitched skin. “Turn around and I’ll unclasp your bra for you.”
“Okay. Carina can definitely not find out about this part.” Maya turned so her back was facing her best friend, allowing Andy to release the clasps, grateful the bra she’d worn to work wouldn’t require her to pull it over her head. Maya then walked into the bathroom, ready to take as much of a shower as she could without getting her stitches wet. It took longer than she expected and she was surprised to find Andy still in her bedroom when she emerged.
“If you can’t get undressed, I’m not sure how you expected to get redressed,” Andy answered the question before Maya could ask it. Andy didn’t make Maya ask again, just waiting while Maya pulled some loose clothes out of a drawer and then silently helping her pull them on.
“Okay. Now for some pain relief.” Andy went for the nightstand, knowing Maya had kept a bottle of painkillers in there when she lived there.
“You might not want to open that drawer. Just a suggestion.” Despite the pain she was in, Maya managed a cheeky grin to accompany her words.
Andy’s hand froze on the handle. “Noted.”
“I have a toddler now. Pain meds are on the top shelf in the bathroom, but I’m telling you, I don’t need anything. I just need to take a nap before Carina and Allegra get home.”
“Maya, I know I sound like a broken record, but you need to tell Carina you were injured at work today. She would want to know.”
“No, Jo said her blood pressure was slightly high at her last checkup. She’s supposed to be reducing stress. This is not reducing stress.”
“Okay. But I reserve the right to tell you I told you so when this all blows up in your face. I’ll be in the guest room, because the couch won’t cut it in this condition.” She gestured down to her prominent belly. “I’ve set an alarm and I’m getting picked up at 4, so I’ll be long gone before Carina gets home. Call me if you need anything.”
“I won’t.” Maya was insistent as she pulled back the covers, sliding in between her welcoming sheets. As usual, sleep evaded Maya for much of the day. Her typical insomnia was worsened by her usual sleeping position being off limits due to it putting direct pressure on her suture line. She alternated between trying to nap and cleaning up around the house, though she was seriously limited by the gash on her side.
Andy poked her head in at four before leaving, again encouraging Maya to tell Carina and again hearing that she wouldn’t. At that point, Maya gave up on trying to sleep for the fifth time and dragged herself out to the kitchen to start dinner, determined to accomplish something to help her wife. She’d just put on the finishing touches and was about to text Carina to see if she’d need to go pick up Allegra before the daycare closed or if Carina would be bringing her home soon when her phone rang in her hand, popping up with a picture of Carina and Allegra that Maya had taken just a few weeks earlier.
“Hey! I was just about to text you.”
“Oh, I was just calling to let you know I’m about to pick up Allegra and we’ll be home soon. I hadn’t heard from you, so I assume you didn’t come get her. Do you need me to pick up dinner?” Carina knew Maya not beating her to pick Allegra up after coming off shift usually meant the shift had been especially busy.
“I’m sorry. I was having one of those days where I just couldn’t seem to settle and sleep. I haven’t gotten any sleep today. But I did make dinner, so I’ll keep it warm until you guys get here.”
“Okay. We’ll be home soon, then I’ll see what I can do about getting both my girls some sleep. I love you.”
“Love you, too.” Maya hung up the phone, then placed her hand over the gauze. As much as she wanted Carina’s comfort, she knew she’d have to make some excuse to keep Carina from getting too close, as the bump from the gauze was too easy to feel through her thin shirt.
She kept that thought in the back of her mind as the three of them ate dinner together. She tried to keep the conversation normal, letting Allegra take the pressure off her to keep the conversation going. Allegra had recently hit the point where she said more words than they could keep track of, though they were always a mixture of Italian and English. Once dinner was over, it was time for Allegra to have a bath and get settled for bed. Maya offered to take care of that, saying Carina had worked all day and deserved not to have to kneel at the side of the bathtub while pregnant. She sent Carina to relax while she helped Allegra in the bath, ignoring the twinges of pain every time she forgot for a moment about her injury. Once bath time was over and Allegra was in her pajamas, she brought Allegra to their bedroom to say good night to Carina, who was getting ready for bed herself. She was relieved to find that Carina seemed to be very near sleep, making her hopeful Carina would be too tired to make good on her promise for comfort, giving Maya more time to heal before Carina got too close to her.
Maya sighed in relief when Carina appeared to be asleep in their bed when she returned. After quickly changing into some pajama pants in the bathroom, leaving the shirt issue to deal with tomorrow, she slipped into bed beside her wife, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before finding a position to try sleeping that wouldn’t put pressure on the wound. Despite the discomfort, she settled in and was eventually able to get some sleep.
The next morning, Maya found that she was in much less pain than the day before, which she hoped meant she could dress herself, even if it was just in a loose shirt and some shorts. She had no plans for the day except spending some time with Allegra since she hadn’t really seen her daughter for the last two days. After bidding Carina a good morning, she grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom to relieve herself, replace the gauze, change, and brush her teeth. Maya returned from the bathroom to find Carina crying quietly on their bed. When Carina saw her, she tried to turn away.
“Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying?” Maya climbed onto the bed and over to her wife, feeling the pull of the healing skin as she went, but ignoring it.
“I know it’s been hard for you not having sex lately, but I still thought you were attracted to me.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I’m attracted to you! You’re the sexiest woman, sexiest person, I have ever met. I would have sex with you right now if you asked, but you asked me to wait. You’re the one who said you were struggling with being so tired between this pregnancy and working and chasing Allegra around.”
“You just went to the bathroom to change your clothes. You did it last night, too, even when you thought I was sleeping. You’ve never done that before, ever. Even after Allegra was born and we weren’t having sex then. Even when we’ve fought. You’ve never not changed in front of me.”
Maya dropped down with a sigh. She reached out for Carina’s hands, fighting back the surge of anger and frustration when Carina pulled back. She slid to the edge of the bed and moved herself back to a standing position, then lifted the right side of her shirt, exposing the bandaging, poorly taped because she’d done it herself in the mirror. “This is why I changed in the bathroom.” Instantly, Carina’s hands were on her, checking what she could see of the injury where Maya hadn’t gotten it completely covered with gauze. “I got cut on some shrapnel when a window got blown out at a fire on my last shift.”
“Bambina, why didn’t you call me? You should have come to the hospital for treatment.” She looked up in horror. “Please tell me you did not treat this on your own. It could get infected. You could be left with a horrible scar.”
“No, I had Ben and Travis take me to Seattle Pres. They put in some stitches and sent me home with some gauze.”
“May I?” Carina placed her fingers at the corner of the badly-placed tape, asking for permission.
“Go ahead.”
With permission granted, Carina peeled back the tape. Both of them were silent as she worked. Once the wound was exposed, Carina examined the sutures. She nodded as she looked, noting that there were no signs of infection and the suture work was good. The scarring would be minimal. Carina pressed her lips above the wound, careful to avoid direct contact. “I wish you had just told me, Bambina. I need to know these things. Do you really think my wife not talking to me about things makes me worry less than my wife getting injured at her job?”
Maya hung her head in shame. “Jo said you were supposed to reduce stress wherever possible. I didn’t want to add anything to your plate.”
“I knew when I met you that firefighting was a dangerous job. But I know that every single day, you do everything possible to come home to me and Allegra and this one.” She tugged Maya’s hand over to rub her growing belly. “And I know that every single member of your team has your back and they’re also doing everything they can to make sure you always come home to us at the end of every shift.” Carina wrapped her arm around Maya’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss. “Promise me you will never keep an injury secret like this again. Also, never try to tape your own gauze like that again. That was worse than intern work.”
Maya let out a very inelegant laugh at the sudden shift in the mood. “Maybe some hot doctor will come along and tape it up for me,” she said flirtatiously.
“I will always take care of you, Bambina.” Carina walked to the bathroom and retrieved some gauze and tape so she could replace Maya’s less-than-stellar work, then sat back down on the bed with Maya standing in front of her. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant. I know that’s partially to blame for you not wanting to tell me about this. I’ve just been scared. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy because we’re both so attached. But I think that’s been making it worse for me.” Carina glanced up to see Maya’s face as she spoke. “I want us to go away for a few days. Call it the honeymoon we never got to take when we got married. I think we need to have some time just for us, where we can relax and rest and have sex. Do you think your mom could take Allegra for us? After you’re healed, of course.”
Maya leaned into Carina, enjoying the ability to look down at her wife’s face. “I’m sure she’d be delighted to spend a few days with her granddaughter. Let’s do it.” When she saw that Carina had placed the final piece of tape and was cleaning up the supplies, she took a chance and grabbed Carina by her hips, moving her several inches back on the bed and then pushing her gently so she was lying back against their bedspread. Careful not to put any of her weight on Carina’s abdomen, Maya leaned in to pepper her with kisses. “Never, ever doubt that I’m attracted to you. I would take you right here, right now if I didn’t know our daughter was about to get up and walk in here.” Obeying the pain in her abdomen that warned her that if she continued, she’d be back in the ER to get her abdomen re-stitched, Maya pushed herself off to the side of Carina, but continued her kissing until the wiggling at their door knob told them that they had a visitor incoming.
----
Two weeks later, they’d managed to score five days off, the maximum amount they decided they wanted to be away from Allegra and Seattle, and booked a room at the same resort they’d gone to for their first trip together as a couple, all those years ago. After firmly telling the 37-week pregnant Andy that under no circumstances was she allowed to go into labor over the next five days, they were off.
Once they checked in, they made their way to their room, where Maya stopped Carina before she could enter the room and turned her wife to face away from her.
“What are you doing?” Carina screamed a little as Maya pulled her back by her shoulders with one arm while sweeping the other behind her thighs.
“This is supposed to be our late honeymoon, right? You’re my bride. I want to carry you over the threshold.”
“Put me down. I’m too heavy.”
“No, you aren’t. I’m a big, strong firefighter, remember? And I’ve carried you before.”
“Not when I was six months pregnant!” Maya just shook her head defiantly and stepped into the room, mindful not to hit Carina on the door jamb. She then walked her over to the bed and placed her delicately on the surface.
“Don’t move,” she ordered. “I’m going to go get our bags and then I plan to make up for lost time.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
They spent most of the first day in their room before Maya called mercy and insisted they make some use of the other amenities the resort had to offer. The mini-vacation was just what they needed to get back on track and decompress. Carina’s next checkup showed that her blood pressure had returned to well within an acceptable range. Jo was so shocked, she asked what Carina had done, but when she saw the look on Maya’s face, she quickly rescinded her question and turned her focus back to her exam with a smirk of her own.
------
“Nooo.” Maya immediately tightened her grip when she heard the distinct sound of Carina being paged around 3 AM.
“Bambina, you have to let me go.” She gently shoved Maya off her and pulled her body free enough to check the page. When she saw the readout on the screen, she smiled softly to herself before lifting herself out of the bed. She had known this page was coming and was only mildly annoyed it came in the middle of the night before what was supposed to be a shared day at home for their little family.
“You’re not on call.” Maya knew that for a fact.
“High-risk patient,” Carina fibbed. “I love you. I’ll call you later.” She counted herself lucky that Maya was too sleepy to ask too many questions. But she’d promised, so she made quick work of dressing and kissing both wife and daughter goodbye before waddling her way out of her house and to the hospital, where she met her patient in Labor and Delivery.
“Carina!” Andy called from the bed. “Thank God you’re here. The nurse wasn’t going to page you because she said you weren’t on call. I had to tell her I was a VIP.”
“It was in your chart, Andy. She paged me. I’m going to examine you now and we’ll see where we are, okay?”
----
“You can call Maya now.” After baby Avery had been given a clean bill of health and was back in Andy’s arms, Andy decided she was ready to share the news.
Carina wasted no time pulling out her phone and FaceTiming her wife. Maya picked up on the second ring, immediately turning the camera so Carina could see Allegra eating her breakfast.
“Say, ‘Good morning, Mamma.’”
"Buongiorno, tesoro. I’m here with someone I thought you guys might want to meet.” She flipped her own camera and pointed it at Andy and Avery. “You have a new baby cousin, Allegra. This is Avery.”
Maya quickly turned her own camera so Carina could see her face. “Why didn’t you tell me that page was for Andy?”
Andy spoke up in response. “Don’t be mad at your wife. I asked her not to. But now I would love it if you’d come and meet this kid.”
Maya wasted no time calling her mom to come over and watch Allegra while she got ready.
-----
When Carina was 39 weeks pregnant, she came to the station to pick Maya up at the end of her shift. They had an early appointment with Jo before Carina had to work, so they planned to drop Allegra off at the daycare, go to the appointment, then Carina would go to work her second to last shift before her leave began while Maya took Allegra home. That was the plan. The reality was that Carina started feeling contractions right as she and Allegra arrived at the station. She ignored it, not wanting to draw the team’s attention to it. Which worked for a while as she waited out the end of shift. Until Travis walked in on her almost doubled over from the strength of the contraction while she was waiting for Maya to get her things.
“Whoa!” Travis rushed over to steady her. “Maya! Your wife’s in labor!” Not two seconds later, Maya came through the door with her bag slung over her shoulder.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” It was obvious from the intensity of her contraction that it wasn’t the first one.
“I’m sorry, Bambina. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until we were in the car so we could keep it between us. But now we’ll just have to trust Travis to keep our little secret for a while.” She looked hopefully up at Travis. Before he could reply, another voice rang out.
“I heard yelling. Why are we yelling?” Vic appeared from upstairs, dressed to leave. When her eyes landed on Carina, she practically squealed. “Ooh, baby’s coming.”
Carina sighed. Vic was the first to admit that she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. Now that Vic knew, the whole team would know before they could even get to the car. So much for their plan. “Okay, yes. I appear to be in labor. And it is coming on much more quickly than the last time. So, Maya. We need to get to the hospital please. I already gave Jo a head’s up.”
Travis immediately jumped up to help Maya walk Carina out to her car and get her in the passenger seat, while Vic plucked Allegra up and buckled her into her seat in the back. By the time Maya went around to the driver’s seat and got in, she could see several other members of her team gathered by the door. “You realize now every single one of them is going to be sitting in the waiting room within the next fifteen minutes?”
Carina smiled. “I know. They love you. They love our baby. It’s okay.” Carina put her hand on Maya’s forearm, reassuring Maya that she wasn’t upset.
By the time they were walking into the hospital, having to stop once along the way in for a contraction, Maya could see Travis’s car pulling into the lot. Deciding to look on the bright side of things, Maya said, “Well, since they’re here anyway, I’m going to get Travis to take Allegra to daycare until I can get my mom to come get her.”
Once she’d handed Allegra and her bag over to Travis and Vic, she got Carina into a wheelchair and they were quickly escorted to Labor and Delivery.
Just under two hours later, their son came into the world. Even knowing what to expect this time, Maya was still somehow surprised by all the emotion of the moment as she watched Jo place their baby on Carina’s chest. She immediately stepped forward to do her own part, cutting the cord holding the two of them together.
After spending some time together with just the three of them, Carina remembered that an entire team of firefighters was waiting for news. “Maya, can you go out and let everyone know he’s here? And your mom can bring Allegra back here, but please no one else for now. They can visit later after I’ve had a nap.”
“Of course. My mom will understand if I just bring Allegra back here myself.”
“She’s his grandmother. She can come.”
Maya gave the yet to be named newborn one more kiss before gently putting him down in the bassinet. Then she leaned in to give Carina a kiss as well before leaving.
As soon as she stepped into the waiting area, her team jumped to their feet. When she didn’t say anything immediately, Vic prompted. “Well?”
“Seven pounds, three ounces. Twenty-one inches long. And no, before anyone asks, he does not have a name yet. Mom, Carina asked if you’d go get Allegra and bring her to the room. Everyone else, Carina said you can visit later, just one or two at a time, but not for a few more hours. Everything went well and he is absolutely perfect.”
Maya accepted the many hugs from her team before excusing herself to get back to her wife.
Carina was half-asleep when she got back. “Okay. Mom’s getting Allegra, but I’m pretty sure it’s art time, so it might take her a few minutes to get Allegra to agree to come. Have you thought more about what we should name him?”
Carina’s response was quick. “I don’t want to name him after my brother. I know we named Allegra after my mamma, but I can’t imagine looking into our baby boy’s face and seeing my sweet baby brother, having to write his name on all our son’s paperwork for the rest of his life.”
“Okay. So that’s out. Let me grab the list.” She went over to the hospital bag and tugged out the list they’d been working on for the last few months. They were still volleying name suggestions back and forth when a soft knock on the door preceded a child-shaped bullet bee-lining for Maya.
“Mommy!” Maya lifted Allegra up into the air and showered her with kisses before plopping her, gently, onto the bed next to Carina so Carina could do the same.
Carina approached the next part gently. They’d read many books and told many stories to get Allegra ready to be a big sister and now the moment of truth had finally arrived. “Allegra, are you ready to meet your little brother?” As she asked, Maya wheeled the bassinet closer to the bed. When Allegra nodded, she pulled it right alongside the bed so Allegra could see him.
“He’s squishy.” Allegra reached out a curious finger and poked him in the cheek. The baby wrinkled his nose, but thankfully stayed asleep.
“Gentle, Allegra. Remember we don’t want to hurt him,” Maya coached softly. “If you want, you can sit in Grandma’s lap and hold him.”
Allegra looked up at Maya thoughtfully. She looked between the adults in the room and then down at her brother. Finally, she looked back at Maya and nodded. Maya was a bit concerned, as Allegra was normally anything but quiet, but remembered that she was processing a lot for someone so young.
When Katherine moved to a chair, Maya lifted Allegra down and let her climb up onto her grandma’s lap. She then got her camera ready before putting her newborn down in her toddler’s lap. Once she was sure Allegra, with Katherine’s assistance, had a good hold on him, she pulled back and began taking pictures of them together. This lasted for only a few minutes before the baby started to fuss and then cry and Maya swept in quickly before Allegra could react. While Maya handed the baby over to Carina to feed him, Maya checked with her mother to make sure she was okay to take Allegra back to their house and stay there with her overnight.
Once they had left, they turned their attention back to the name issue. They finally settled on Lorenzo Valentino just as Carina’s eyes drifted shut.
-----
Maya walked into the living room. She wasn’t surprised to see Lorenzo nursing on one side, but it did surprise her a little to see Allegra attached to Carina’s other side, suckling away, her toddler body curled a little awkwardly into Carina’s side.
“I know, I know. But she saw him doing it and asked if she could too. She only stopped in the first place because she wanted to, so I didn’t see any reason she couldn’t.”
“I said I would support you and I meant it. It’s just not what I expected to see. Though I don’t like having my competition doubled.”
Carina chuckled softly. “Fair enough. But they definitely don’t look the same after feeding two children.”
“You’re right. They’re better because they fed our babies.”
Upon hearing Maya, Allegra apparently decided she’d had enough and jumped off Carina’s lap, running over to hug Maya around her legs. Maya hauled Allegra up into her arms and lifted her high up into the air. She smiled when Allegra laughed and begged, “Again! Again!”
“You look so much like your mamma.” Maya’s smile dipped into a frown. “Carina?”
“Hmm?” Carina looked up from Lorenzo to meet Maya’s eyes.
“Does it bother you that our kids don’t look like me? I keep looking at them and seeing every little bit of you in their faces and I love that. Are you disappointed that you don’t get to do that with me?”
“Bambina, no, of course not. Our kids are perfect. And I don’t know what you mean when you say they don’t look like you. I see you in Allegra’s expressions, her attitude.” Maya scoffed at that. “Even the way she walks around. You say you see me in Allegra, but all I see when I look at her is you. Even Lorenzo is already starting to look like you to me. And I don’t regret anything about how they came into being. They’re ours.”