Chapter Text
Present Day: December 2021
Snow. That’s all he can see down below. Lots and lots of white from the snow-covered mountains. Even the small window to his left has ice particles stuck to the glass and he rubs at his eyes to get a better look at the view. The sunshine from the blue sky that surrounds him is so bright that he has to squint for a moment to stop the initial sting that the glare brings.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” a voice comes from beside him and he turns to see the man sitting across the aisle from him, small smirk adorning his face.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” Ben denies even though he feels like he probably was. His neck aches and his eyes itch in the way they usually do when he’s slept with his contact lenses in. He had only meant to close his eyes for a few minutes and must have drifted off to the dull drone of the aircraft he's been on for the last ninety minutes.
The man from across the aisle chuckles. “Sure. Whatever you say.”
Ben looks at him for a moment and he would feel ticked off by the comment and tell the stranger to mind his own business if it wasn’t for the fact that he is so bloody gorgeous. He’s attractive in a way that shouldn’t be allowed and it’s the first time in months that Ben has let himself properly drink in the sight of another man. There’s a sudden twang in his chest that has become all too familiar, but he brushes it aside, turning to look back out of the window again.
“Looks great, doesn’t it?” the man says and Ben nods, keeping his eyes firmly on the view below as he takes it all in. He had been desperate to come on this holiday when he had booked it at the beginning of the year. He’d almost been giddy with excitement at the prospect of snow and mountains and endless blue skies.
But time changes things.
This year has changed things.
But that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the holiday anyway, does it? After all, he didn’t have to come. He could have just cancelled the whole thing and got his money back but he had decided that the trip away would do him some good and that’s why he’s sitting here now, staring out of a small oval window at the mountain peaks below. They look amazing from this angle, glorious sunrays shining upon the mountain tops, and Ben imagines what it will be like to be down there in amongst all that snow. He’s going to have fun, that’s what he tells himself. And he'll keep telling himself. It just won’t be how he had imagined it to be that’s all.
“Daddy, can we make snow angels?” a small voice asks and Ben’s ears prick up almost immediately, attuned to any voice that sounds like his daughter’s own.
“And then can we get hot chocolate?” another young voice questions.
Ben turns back towards the man across the aisle and this time takes note of the two children sitting beside him, both seemingly a little younger than Lexi if Ben had to guess.
“With marshmallows!” the girl grins enthusiastically, bouncing in her seat.
“And cream!” the boy adds.
Next to them, the man rolls his eyes and laughs a little. “Let’s just get there first, shall we?” He glances Ben’s way again and smiles. “Kids, eh? Who’d have ‘em? Don’t know where they get their energy from.”
Ben returns the smile and is about to open his mouth to comment on how his own daughter is exactly the same but then there’s a click from above him and the sound of the pilot making an announcement over the tannoy fills the cabin.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll shortly be beginning our descent and will be arriving at Geneva Airport in about twenty minutes time. I ask that passengers please ensure that their seatbelts are fastened securely and should you require assistance, please alert a member of the cabin crew. Thank you.”
There’s a small click again signalling the end of the message and a sign above him flicks on, illuminating the image of the seatbelt. Ben reaches for his belt, fastening it around himself before twisting his head to the side, rubbing at the muscles in his neck as he tries to prepare for the final twenty minutes of being stuck in a position he's already started to get uncomfortable in.
It’s only when he feels a pair of eyes on him that he stops, catching the man from across the aisle staring at him. The stranger looks away immediately as though it hasn’t even happened but Ben knows what he saw. He’s seen that look hundreds of times before, usually from the opposite end of a bar, or occasionally from across the courtyard of the car dealership he part owns with his brother, Jay. He’s seen that look and he understands it so when the man glances his way again, Ben is almost prepared for the sight of his tongue involuntarily creeping out of his mouth to lick at his lips.
“Dad, I can’t do my seatbelt!”
The man jumps a little, turning his gaze away to focus back on the children at the side of him. The young boy has hold of the belt which he tries to fix into place and he sighs in frustration before handing it over to his dad who does it up for him before doing the same with the girl’s.
Taking a moment longer to watch them, Ben lets his mind drift to Lexi and wonders if he should have perhaps brought her along with him. He can just imagine how excited she would have been looking out of the window at the ground below and coming up with a thorough, well thought out itinerary for the two of them for how they would spend their holiday. But Lexi isn’t here, nor was she ever part of the plan, and he tries to ignore the empty seat next to him, refusing to let his mind go there.
Instead, Ben thinks about the man from across the aisle who is telling the children to pack away their crayons and colouring books. It reminds him so much of himself with Lexi, like looking in a mirror, and when the man glances back at him again, this time Ben sends him a smile, letting his eyes flicker downwards for a second.
It’s worth it for the smile he gets back in return.
He’s annoyed from the moment he steps off the plane. There’s a rush of people who barge passed him as they make their way towards passport control, knocking into him with their bags as they go without so much as a backward glance or an apology. He ends up near the back of the queue behind a woman with a screaming toddler who is fighting to get out of her arms.
“Where’s your bloody father when I need him?” Ben hears the woman mutter and he frowns a little as the child screams even more.
By the time he’s made it through passport control and passed the hard stare of the man in the booth who had looked at his passport for what felt like several seconds too long, Ben reaches the baggage carousel just in time to see his suitcase making its way down the conveyor belt. He feels a sense of relief knowing that it has made it here in one piece and hasn’t somehow been lost onto another aircraft or left behind at Heathrow airport like in some of the horror stories he has heard.
“Can I just – " he starts, trying to squeeze through the line of people in front of him. “'Scuse me, mate, can I – "
But it’s no use and by the time the small crowd part to let him through he sees that he’s too late – his suitcase already travelling by him and out of reach. Groaning to himself, he’s forced to watch as the suitcase returns to the hole in the wall.
From further down the line, Ben spots two men standing together. The taller one has his arms wrapped around the smaller one who his leaning his head back against his partners shoulder. They laugh together and Ben finds himself getting lost in his thoughts even though he knows he shouldn’t. The couple look so happy, completely wrapped up in one another, and Ben knows that if things were different then that would have been him. But it isn’t, not now, and he has to stamp out the thoughts of ‘What if…’, refusing to let months of hard work unravel simply from the sight of a loved up couple. It’s actually quite sickening to watch, he decides, turning back to focus on the luggage moving along the conveyor belt.
When he feels someone tapping at his elbow he ignores it, assuming it’s someone trying to muscle their way through the small crowd. It’s only when the tapping becomes more insistent that he swirls, aching from the flight and already irritated with how his day is panning out. He's really not in the mood to deal with people right now. It comes as a surprise however, to find the little girl who had been sitting across the aisle from him on the plane looking up at him with a smile on her face.
“Daddy found your bag!” she exclaims gleefully and sure enough, standing next to her is her father, holding onto his suitcase.
“It’s yours, right?” the man asks, seeming a little unsure. “I saw you miss it before and it kinda looked like you were going to miss it again so…..”
Ben glances between the man and his suitcase and then realises he hasn’t given an answer. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks.”
The man nods before saying, “I’m Andrew by the way.”
“Ben.”
They look at each other for a moment and there’s something intriguing about the man's gaze that Ben can't quite figure out.
“Give him his bag, Daddy,” the girl whispers from beside Andrew, nudging at his arm causing a huff of laughter to ripple out.
Andrew does as he’s told, handing over the suitcase before turning back to the little girl. “You go find your mum. I’ll be there in a bit.”
Ben watches as the young girl skips away and recognises her brother standing with a woman a little way ahead. He considers them for a moment, seemingly a happy family unit, but he knows he isn’t imagining the way Andrew is looking at him.
“We’re staying at a ski resort not far from here if you fancy meeting up for a drink some time? A few beers – nothing serious.”
Ben looks down to where Andrew is producing a business card and notices his name and number printed on the front of it. He glances back to where the young girl is now reaching her mum and brother. What Andrew is asking doesn’t make sense but then he thinks about his own little family back at home. He and Lola aren’t together, nor have they ever been, Lexi merely the product of what had been a very confusing time for him when he was a teenager, but he knows that if anyone witnessed the three of them on their outings together they would naturally assume that he and Lola were a couple. Families however, come in all different shapes, and when he looks back at Andrew he can only assume he’s been on a similar road.
Andrew is smiling at him playfully now, his gaze tracking down over Ben’s body before their eyes connect again, and Ben feels himself flushing from the attention. He’s struggled to commit to anything more than flirtation and a bit of a fumble in months, always quick to put on the brakes whenever anyone has tried to take things further with him, but maybe a holiday fling could be just what he needs. He won’t have to see Andrew beyond this holiday and it could be a way to get himself back in the saddle so to speak and move on from the one person who he’s never fully succeeded in forgetting about.
He reaches out to take the card from Andrew who brushes his thumb alongside Ben’s briefly before letting go.
“Think about it,” Andrew says now, making Ben realise he still hasn’t committed to anything. “We’ll have fun.”
And then he’s turning away, heading in the direction of the woman and the two children leaving Ben to stare after him. It’s been a long time since he’s been so lost for words around a man, always having the confidence to flirt with anyone who approaches him, but he’s never been hit on quite like this outside of a bar before and never so readily.
He watches as Andrew takes one of the suitcases from the woman, kissing her on the lips briefly before ushering the children along and oh – he’s read this situation all wrong. Andrew and the woman aren’t anything like he and Lola after all. In fact, if that kiss and the smiles they share now are anything to go by, Ben can only assume that they’re in a happy, loving relationship. So what is Andrew playing at? Ben can’t help but feel sorry for the woman whose partner has so blatantly flirted with someone else right under her nose. But mostly he just feels like an idiot. Trust him to attract a closet gay. Screwing up the business card and pressing it into the pocket of his jeans, he turns away, heading in the direction of the exit. Whatever is going on in Andrew’s life, Ben wants no part of it. He has enough problems of his own.
It’s a short drive up to the holiday resort he’s staying at. Getting a rental car from the airport had been easier than he had thought it was going to be and following the directions from there to the resort had been simple enough. After all the hassle in the airport, he's glad that finally things are starting to go his way. The car heater has made him feel warm and cosy and it's been nice to look out of the windows at the snow-covered hills as he has passed them by. He’s even managed to put his earlier encounter in the arrivals hall behind him, so much so that he can’t even remember the man’s name anymore. He’s feeling lighter as he pulls into a car parking space, putting the handbrake on and turning off the engine.
The air is freezing when he steps out into it, a stark contrast to the warmth of the car on his journey here, and he inhales sharply, unprepared for the way it bites harshly at his skin. He quickly reaches into his bag, pulling out a hat and a pair of gloves and he mentally pats himself on the back for having the foresight to pack them at the top of his bag. Putting them on in an attempt to ward off the cold and pulling out his booking confirmation form, he slings the bag over his shoulder and makes his way over to the reception building. Snow crunches underneath his boots and Ben would delight in it if he wasn't so desperate to get out of the cold.
It’s mere moments before he’s stepping into the building, the warm air conditioning welcoming to his toes which he’s sure are already in the first stages of frostbite despite the short distance he's walked from the car. He approaches the desk, ready to collect the keys for the cabin he booked back in February, and that’s when the problems start.
“Bear with us one moment,” the receptionist says as she clicks at the screen in front of her and frowns. He waits patiently as she continues clicking, confusion written over her face when she adds, “Sorry about this.”
“Is there a problem?” he asks, though he fails to see what the matter could be.
“It seems keys for your accommodation have already been collected, sir.”
Ben looks at her, uncomprehending.
“What? How can that be possible? There must be a mistake. I’ve paid for this cabin and you’re telling me you’ve got me double booked?”
Pushing the booking confirmation form towards her on the desk, he urges it to make a difference. He knows he should remain calm but he’s never been that person, always the first to react and speak out without thinking.
The receptionist seems to notice his frustration and she calls out to another lady who comes out of a side office. She explains the situation in her own language – it sounds French Ben thinks; do they speak French in Switzerland? He should have done his research he supposes. Sara (according to her nametag) looks at the screen before turning her head across to the booking form.
“No double booking,” she says, shaking her head and smiling up at Ben. “The keys were collected by a Mr Callum Highway. His name is on the booking, no?”
Oh.
Fuck.
Callum is here.
Ben feels his heart stop at the realisation.
Callum is here. Callum has collected the keys. Callum is at the cabin that Ben booked.
And that’s when his shock turns into anger.
What the fuck is Callum doing here?
The women don’t seem to acknowledge his distress, instead supplying him with a map to the location of his cabin and asking if he needs a hire car. He points in the general direction of where he has parked and then swipes his papers from the desk and walks out without another word.
His journey up to the cabin is spent with only one question on his mind.
Why is Callum here?
Ben grips tightly onto the steering wheel as the car makes its way over the snow-covered hills towards the cabins that stand in the distance above. It’s been almost six months since he and Callum last saw each other and perhaps Ben should have thought to check whether Callum was still planning on coming here but he had just assumed that after everything that had happened between them that Callum would just know not to come. They hadn’t had any flights booked, agreeing to book them at a later date only for them to break up before they’d had chance to do so. The fact that Callum has gone and booked a flight, and apparently an earlier one at that, leaves a bitter taste in Ben’s mouth. Sure, the holiday had been booked in both their names but Callum hadn’t even wanted to come here in the first place. It had been Ben’s idea and Callum had only agreed after weeks of nagging and pleading.
So why is he here? If this is all part of some big idea to get them back together again then he has another thing coming.
Ben takes note of the map that the receptionist had given him as he approaches the cabins, keeping an eye on the road as he tries to find the one that’s his. He passes families along the way, couples walking hand in hand through the snow and he ignores the nauseated feeling it brings in favour of focussing on his frustration. He’s only been in the country for a couple of hours and already this holiday is turning out to be anything but what he had expected it would be.
It occurs to him for the second time today that he really should have cancelled it. Telling himself that the time away would do him some good had been stupid, but two weeks of solitude had seemed like bliss after being surrounded by his family for months.
Only now, Callum is here. How is that meant to do him any good? How is it meant to do either of them any good?
When he arrives at the cabin he sees another car parked outside. He's either got the wrong cabin or Callum has hired a car too. Pulling up behind it, he takes a moment to ready himself for facing someone he had every intention of never seeing again. After a moment of quietly counting to ten (Lexi's advice to him whenever she can see he's getting irate because she's way too mature for her own good) he pushes his way out of his own rental car and marches up to the cabin. He’s intent on storming in and having it out with Callum before a realisation dawns on him.
He doesn’t have a key.
He’s going to have to knock like an idiot.
Huffing loudly, he comes to stand outside the door, steeling himself for what’s to come.
And then he knocks.
It feels like forever before the door opens, but as soon as it does Ben realises that forever still wouldn’t have been long enough to prepare himself for the sight of Callum standing there in front of him. Up until now he has been hoping that there’s been some sort of terrible mistake, that there really has been a double booking and someone else entirely will open the door. But no, it’s Callum who looks back at him now, surprise evident on his face.
“Ben!”
“Happy Holiday’s, Callum,” Ben responds with as much sarcasm as he can muster, a fake smile plastered onto his face. “You just gonna stand there or are you gonna let me in?”