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As soft sunlight peeked its way through the midnight blue curtains, Vi slowly began to wake and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. A quiet yawn escaped her lips and she sat up, a hand running through her disheveled hair. Despite the comfort of the fancy bed and the fatigue that ran through her body, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore. Growing up in the Lanes and all her time in Stillwater made her a fairly light sleeper.
She directed her attention towards Caitlyn, who was still sleeping soundly beside her. Vi’s cheeks warmed at the sight of her dark hair splayed against her bare back and shoulders, remembering their night together. Suddenly she was aware of her own naked figure and pulled the covers to her chest. Several seconds passed, and when the only sign of movement was from Caitlyn’s slow breathing, Vi felt herself relax a little.
It was a little mind blowing to think that this was her morning now, when a week ago she was still sleeping on that stone slab in solitary confinement. And in the serenity of the moment, it was easy to forget the madness of everything that had occurred these past few days. Caitlyn made it easy.
Vi leaned back into the plush pillow and rolled over on her side so that she was facing the sleeping woman beside her. She gently brushed the hair away from Caitlyn’s face. Her nose twitched at the touch, making the brawler smile. Seeing Caitlyn like this— completely relaxed with no stress or pain etched into her expression— it did something to her heart. She didn’t think she could ever tire of it.
What she wouldn’t do to make it last forever.
Unable to resist, Vi began to trace the features of Caitlyn’s face. Her calloused fingers were careful in their journey, afraid of disturbing the peace. The contrast of her scarred skin against Caitlyn’s unmarked cheek was a sobering sight. She knew the enforcer was strong, much stronger than most others. Even so, to Vi she was delicate, and Vi’s rough hands had never been good at handling precious things.
Vi was still baffled at how willing Caitlyn was to let her stay by her side, despite everything that had happened. Had she been in the other woman’s place, she wasn’t sure if she could ever find it in her to forgive herself. When they arrived back in Piltover early last morning, both of their worlds had shattered to pieces, beyond to the point of no return.
The air had been thick with the stench of smoke and blood, and the brawler could do nothing but watch as buildings crumbled around her, as civilians screamed and scrambled for shelter, as Caitlyn sobbed while holding the broken body of her mother…
Pow— Jinx was right. She was a monster that Vi created. It was her fault that her sister turned out like this. Jinx and all the destruction that she’d caused, all the fear and anguish… Everything was her fault.
She had failed her sister, and then she failed her partner too.
Yet here she was, naked in Caitlyn’s bed, as if she didn’t have blood on her hands. As if she deserved any sort of kindness from the enforcer.
Vi dropped her hand.
“Why’d you stop,” a sleepy voice said. “I was enjoying that.”
“How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough.” Caitlyn yawned before pushing herself up on her elbows. She turned her body towards Vi, a smile on her face. Her eyes were still blinking away the sleep but her gaze was gentle, like a clear sky just after a storm. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” Vi mumbled back.
Her gaze trailed from Caitlyn’s face down her neck, to the tops of her breast. Now that it was light, she could see all the marks her teeth had left behind, causing her face to warm again. Caitlyn must’ve sensed her embarrassment, but instead of pointing it out, she moved closer to her partner instead. She rested her head against Vi’s pillow and draped an arm across her waist.
Vi tried her best not to flinch at the proximity but of course it wouldn’t go unnoticed. Caitlyn was a sharpshooter; nothing was going to escape her careful eye. The blue haired woman frowned and pulled away.
“Vi? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re lying.” Caitlyn’s voice was firm, not with accusation but certainty. She had a look in her eye, the kind of look that made Vi think she was looking past the tough exterior and straight into her soul. Despite only having known each other for a week, this stubborn, beautiful woman had somehow torn down all the walls she’d built up, brick by brick.
“Don’t worry about it, cupcake.”
“I’m not going to stop worrying just because you tell me to,” Caitlyn scoffed with a roll of her eyes. Then her annoyance turned into something more somber. “Is it… Do you regret it?”
“What?”
“What we did last night. Do you regret it?” Her expression didn’t falter but her question was laced with hurt. It was like a punch to the gut. Vi was almost too stunned to speak.
“No, no,” she whispered. “Not at all. That’s not… I don’t regret anything about last night. I don’t. I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
Vi felt her mouth go dry. Talking about her feelings wasn’t something she enjoyed, especially talking about the bad ones. Exposing herself to someone like that left her vulnerable, and if there was one thing that her life taught her, it was that being left vulnerable was one of the worst things.
Caitlyn wasn’t just someone, though.
“I just don’t understand how you can stand to look at me, that’s all,” she finally said. She averted her gaze to the ceiling, unable to look Caitlyn in the eye.
“Vi.”
She began counting the gold specs embedded in the marble. One, two, three, four…
“Vi.” Caitlyn’s hand cupped Vi’s face and pulled, forcing her attention back. Caitlyn’s mouth was pressed into a thin line, her eyebrows furrowed with concern. A deep sadness echoed from her eyes and Vi couldn’t help but feel like she was the root cause of it all. “I don’t blame you for what happened. It’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it, though? You heard her,” Vi said with a bitter laugh. “She’s the monster I created.”
“You aren’t responsible for what happened to her while you were locked up in prison.”
“No, but I am responsible for leaving her behind in the first place. None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t done that.”
Caitlyn didn’t say anything. Instead she moved towards Vi again, this time fully pressing their bodies together in an embrace. She wrapped herself around Vi, tangling their limbs together, trying to get as close as possible. Vi’s arms instinctively wrapped around Caitlyn’s shoulders as well.
The feeling of skin on skin was familiar yet different. The night they spent together had been filled with hazy lust and passion, charged with a kind of desperation as if it was all they were ever going to have. This was quieter and softer, the touch anchoring Vi’s wandering soul back to solid ground.
“You were only a child then, and there was no way you could’ve known. I don’t blame you for what happened,” Caitlyn said again. Vi could feel her lips moving against her clavicle as she spoke, sending shivers down her spine. “No matter the reason, the choice was hers and hers alone. You are not at fault for this.”
“If I hadn’t stopped you…”
“She’s your sister, Vi.” Caitlyn tightened her arms. “I don’t blame you.”
It wasn’t hard to believe her, not when the honesty was so clear in her voice. But it didn’t mean that the brawler would stop blaming herself. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to. She buried her face into Caitlyn’s hair, taking slow breaths to calm herself.
“What do we do now?” she asked.
“I don’t know.”
Vi trembled in Caitlyn’s arms, afraid of hearing the answer to her next question. She swallowed.
“Will you go after her?”
“I don’t know.” Caitlyn grew quiet for a moment before continuing, “I don’t want to think about that right now.”’
“Okay.” It wasn’t an answer, not really, but it was a better response than any of the ones Vi had been preparing herself for. She let out a shaky breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“Vi.”
“Yeah?”
“Does this change anything? Between us?”
She knew Caitlyn wasn’t talking about Jinx now, and she wasn’t sure how to answer that. Their relationship had been changing and shifting since the moment they met. It was just a week ago when Vi wanted nothing more than to punch the haughty look off of Caitlyn’s face. Had her sister’s life not been on the line, she would’ve preferred rotting in prison over helping an enforcer.
Things changed. She changed when she realized Caitlyn wasn’t just another Piltie asshole looking to go on a power trip. Caitlyn was someone who wanted to do good, she was good. A personification of all the best things in the world, full of hope for a better tomorrow. Vi wanted to protect that.
She wanted to protect her. It was crazy to think about, just how much she cared about Caitlyn now. How she had gone from a stranger to one of the most important people in her life.
“I think things have already changed between us, cupcake.” Vi traced her fingers up along Caitlyn’s spine, causing her to shiver.
“This was a good change though, right?”
“If you think so.”
“I do.” Caitlyn pulled away to look at Vi. After a brief moment of hesitation, she leaned forward to press their lips together. Vi savored the softness, the gentleness of the kiss. When they parted, her partner let out a quiet sigh. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Me too.”
“You make me a better person.” The sincerity in her gaze made Vi squirm. “I’m serious.”
“I know,” Vi said. “I just don’t get it, that’s all.” Those kinds of words weren’t something she was used to hearing.
“I told you before, you have a good heart.” Caitlyn smiled. “It makes me want to do better, for you and for the people of the undercity.”
“You make me want to do better too.”
Vi was surprised at how easy that was to admit. With the way Caitlyn beamed at her, saying such sentimental things didn’t seem so difficult. Reconciling the way she viewed herself with what Caitlyn saw in her was hard. Vi wasn’t sure if she was ever going to believe that she deserved all this praise and forgiveness from Caitlyn.
But she’d be damned if she didn’t do everything in her power to make herself worthy of it.
“It’s going to be okay.” Caitlyn brought a hand up to caress Vi’s cheek. “We’ll be okay.”
Vi clasped her own hand around the one Caitlyn held against her face. She let herself lean into the touch, kissing her palm.
“I trust you.”