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Charles seemed worried.
Sebastian wasn’t having a good weekend in Saudi Arabia, which was a situation that Charles highly sympathised with.
However, his frustrations didn’t seem to be affecting only him and his team. It shouldn’t have been anything new, Sebastian has noticed over the time ever since his time at Ferrari how Charles tended to get concerned about him whenever he didn’t do well. Nevertheless, it seemed that Charles’ worry was slightly peaked that weekend. Whether it was due to the mixed anxiety of what happened to Charles during the second free practice or simply because it was a new track that no one had experience with and could be dangerous, Seb did not know.
Regardless, Charles’ concerned staring and not-so-subtle looks to check on Sebastian whenever they were in the same room (which Charles seemed to be making a hard effort of making it a thing) was nothing short of troublesome. If there was a thing Sebastian found bothersome, was to bother someone else.
Therefore, the night before the qualifying and after the practices, when Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to sleep nor stop thinking about Charles’ behaviour, he decided to hell with it. It wasn’t too late in the night, and something tells him that Charles probably wasn’t asleep anyway. Thus, he decided to give him a call, a thing Sebastian sometimes did before a race to check on Charles to know how he was feeling and how his anxiety was being dealt with, another habit he picked up from being his teammate in Ferrari. Sebastian wasn’t much into texting, so it never surprised Charles when he received a random phone call from him.
“Seb? Are you okay?”
Sebastian couldn’t help chuckling upon Charles’ desperate answer to his call. The boy was clearly on edge. “Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?”
“Are you sure?”
Sebastian sighed this time.
“Yes, Charles.”
“Okay,” Charles gulped on the other end.
Sebastian noticed his lack of response. “...And how about you?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Charles chuckled nervously.
He wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Then why have you been fidgeting ever since we got here?” Sebastian countered with facts, going straight to the point, “more than usual, I mean.”
Charles went silent.
“Charles?”
“...I’m just... I’m just a bit worried, that’s all.”
Sebastian nodded to himself, “about the race or?”
“Everything,” Charles answered quickly, “about the race, about me, about you , about everyone! About—” he stopped with a frustrated sigh.
Sebastian felt the familiar sorrowful tingling in his heart. He hated seeing Charles like that. In fact, Seb didn’t enjoy anyone being this nervous, but when it was Charles, he absolutely despised it and wished he could change it in a snap of a finger. He obviously couldn’t.
“I understand. It’s okay to be worried about the race, your performance and all of that,” Sebastian softly explained before prying further, “but why are you worried about me as well?”
Charles went silent for a few seconds again.
“It’s-It’s just... This new track is kind of dangerous,” Charles explained shakily, “anything can happen to anyone there and if something happens to you, I—” He interrupted himself again, his voice signalling how upset he was becoming talking about it.
Sebastian didn’t blame him. Every driver was scared, even if a little bit, whenever they risked their lives doing what they loved. However, Charles had more reasons than the average person to be terrified . He has lost important people in his life, not only once but twice , due to racing.
“Charles,” Sebastian started slowly, “what do you normally do to get your mind off things?”
“Uhm, I don’t know. I play something or take a walk to breathe fresh air...”
“Do you want to walk with me?”
Charles’ silence on the other end signalled nothing but surprise this time at Sebastian’s caring offer.
“Yes.”
~
They met outside the hotel, in the calming yet breezy night. There was barely anyone around because of the lateness of the hour, despite being weekend.
Charles had been fidgeting the entire walk as they aimlessly paced around the town. Sebastian tried to take his mind off things by talking about random topics, but it didn’t seem to be very effective as Charles continued to get easily distracted by his own thoughts.
When Sebastian spotted a path that led to somewhere more secluded, he didn’t think twice before walking Charles there. Despite Charles usually liking attention more than Sebastian, the Monegasque clearly didn’t enjoy being out in the streets no matter what time it was during the season. Charles always felt like all eyes were on him, and it was most likely adding up to his anxiety at that moment.
The path led them to an empty patch of (probably fake) grass, almost seeming like a small park or a square. There were a few trees around which caused it to be hidden, making the place look even more secretive, and a perfect view of the nocturnal sky.
“Charles, take a deep breath.”
Sebastian softly said as he noticed how Charles was still tense despite being alone in the nature. It was the perfect opportunity to breathe in fresh air and calm himself. Charles tried doing as he was told, closing his eyes for a moment as he inhaled deeply. He had put his hands inside his pockets, his awkward stance and body language clearly telling Sebastian that he simply was unable to just relax .
Charles never seemed to be able to.
Sebastian looked around aimlessly as a comfortable silence fell between them. There wasn’t anywhere they could sit but the grass, or perhaps lean into a tree, but he wasn’t feeling tired. He looked at the sky and noticed the countless stars above them, warming the sight of the December night.
He had an idea.
If he couldn’t get Charles’ mind off trouble with his words, then perhaps the stars could do so.
Sebastian lightly touched Charles’ arm, earning his attention. “Here, lie down with me.”
Charles looked confused but followed along when Sebastian sat on the immaculate grass. He proceeded to lay his back on the grass and gently pulled Charles to follow along.
Sebastian smiled to himself upon gazing at the infinite bright stars above them. It was odd yet somehow endearing. Being there with Charles felt nostalgic even though they had never stargazed together before. Judging by the look on Charles’ face, he might never had taken the time to stargaze at all in his life.
For the first time that weekend, Charles seemed calm.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Sebastian asked rhetorically.
Charles mumbled something in French in awe, unable to look away from the dark yet bright sky. The way his eyes darted over every single dot of light he managed to see was a deeply comforting sensation to Seb.
“Look, there’s the north star,” Sebastian commented, pointing at a specific place in the sky.
Charles looked confused, “where?”
“There,” Seb tried to point at it more precisely from Charles’ point of view. Charles unconsciously inched closer to Sebastian, trying to get their field of view as similar as possible by also approaching his head to the older man.
Charles remained confused about the stars, though.
Sebastian chuckled and began drawing up with his index finger as he tried to explain. “First, you find the big dipper. It’s the easiest constellation to find in the night sky.”
Charles paid attention carefully, curious and engaged in Sebastian’s teaching, noticing how the more he looked, the more unique each star seemed to become.
“Those brightest ones over there,” Sebastian pointed, accidentally leaning the side of his head with Charles’, “they kind of form a rectangle, see?”
“Oh! Yeah, I think I see that!” Charles answered excitedly.
“Now, look up from that constellation in a straight line, the next brightest star is Polaris, the northern star.”
Charles took a few seconds to understand but made another excited noise of reveal once he found it. “Oh! That’s the one, right?” he pointed as well, smiling proudly to have followed Sebastian’s instructions perfectly.
Sebastian smiled, feeling the warmth of Charles’ restless body pressed against his. He felt a bit proud himself for successfully teaching Charles something. It had almost distracted him of how their bodies seemed to unconsciously press closer to each other by the minute.
“What else do you know?” Charles asked curiously.
“Not much, to be honest,” Sebastian shrugged, “but Polaris is exactly pointing towards the north, so we know how to find our way without a compass,” he laughed.
“I always know the way when I’m with you.”
Sebastian’s heart skipped a beat, not expecting those words from Charles. Charles froze completely, gulping as his breath hitched once he noticed what he had said out loud. That boy always managed to forget to think before he spoke, becoming too honest about his feelings sometimes. It never ceased to amaze Seb.
“Uhm... I-I mean, you know stuff, so...”
Charles aimlessly tried to fix what he had said, but it was to no avail. If anything, he only had made himself feel more awkward.
“Well, I’d happily guide you anywhere you want,” Sebastian smiled, slightly turning his head to face Charles.
Charles had no choice but to do the same after that.
They stared deep into each other’s eyes, feeling a heat surrounding them which made Sebastian feel like they were the only ones who existed in the world at that moment. Nothing else was real or seemed to matter but the person right in front of him. Charles’ eyes signalled anxiety and nervousness again, but this time it was a comforting and hopeful anticipation that was present in his beautiful eyes that Sebastian could never get enough of.
He slightly leaned up, supporting his weight on his arm on the grass, slowly reaching for a better access. Sebastian gently grabbed Charles’ face with his free hand and tilted it to meet with his own once he leaned down to find his tender lips.
Charles slightly trembled underneath Sebastian’s touch, but he answered the kiss just as sweetly and wantonly. A second later, though, Charles suddenly backed away from the kiss with a frightened look. Sebastian looked at him in confusion.
“What if someone sees us?” Charles asked in shaky whisper.
It might be troublesome for two drivers to be caught kissing in public especially in a country that deemed what they were doing illegal . Oh yes, Sebastian could stupidly get arrested for kissing Charles, but it was worth all the risk in the world.
Sebastian smiled, gently caressing Charles’ cheek with his thumb.
“Screw them.”
Charles couldn’t help chuckling with Sebastian’s reply. If Sebastian thought it was safe, then Charles knew there was nothing to be afraid of.
They pressed their lips back together, creating their very own constellation that pointed towards their hearts.
Charles smiled when they broke the fulfilling kiss, and Sebastian felt his heart about to explode in happiness for seeing him happy.
Seb gave him a last kiss before returning to his previous position beside Charles, laying his back down on the grass, yet somehow their bodies even closer now than before.
After a few moments of heart-warming silence, Sebastian was surprised out of his happy thoughts by Charles’ words.
“If you’d happily guide me anywhere, that means you won’t leave me, right?”
Sebastian looked at him, knowing very well what Charles meant.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He joined hands with Charles, who looked happier than Sebastian has ever seen him. The look on his face when getting a podium was nothing compared to it.