Archive of Our Own

Orbiting
Particle By Particle
Rhiannonhero
September 2002

Disclaimers: I do not profit in any way from my obsession with Clark, Lex and the Clex. Unless you count the wonderful ZDJJ vids that Kat sent! So don't sue!

Spoilers: Spoilers for entire first season, just to be safe.

Ratings Note: NC-17

Summary: Sequel, AU/Romance/Angst, Clark/Lex . Sequel to *101 Ways to Say I Love You (or, How to Ruin Everything)*, Tomorrowland and Amplified Heart.

One doesn't just become a superhero overnight and, sometimes, people get hurt along the way.

Author's Note: I heard the distant clamoring for fics that show how the Smallville Clark becomes the Metropolis superhero. I thought we'd stroll down that path and see where it takes us...

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Fabrisse, nerodi ::love::, Starcat ::heart::, Alax and Serafina for the beta. Any lingering mistakes, etc, are mine and mine alone. Thanks to my husband as always and forever.

Dedication: This one almost didn't happen. I almost chucked it 3 times. So, extra special love and thanks go out to my betas above. And Particle by Particle is dedicated to:

nerodi, who, like Lex, doesn't want Clark to go all fem on her and because I love her and because she is my addiction and because she is my internet bff and did I mention how she coddles me and says that I should write more?

Alax, for the email. She knows which one. Thank you, sweet girl.

Starcat, who held my virtual hand every day and whispered sweet internet nothings in my ear until I wrote more. No, Starcat, I will be wating 4 you with pye.

For those who care about these things, the following albums were in constant rotation:

Heather Nova, South

The Verve, Urban Hymns

Beth Orton, Daybreaker

Superdrag, Last Call for Vitriol

And special nods to Tori Amos's songs Iiieee and She's Your Cocaine for help with the sex scenes. I don't think I could even begin to write sex without Tori!

Feedback: Clark begs so prettily...don't you hear him begging for you to send feedback? [email protected]

*"All things dying each other's life and living each other's death."* - W. B. Yeats

Chapter One
The Real Thing

Midsummer heat didn't touch him in the air-conditioned vacuum of the penthouse. On nights like this, Clark thought that he should miss the sensual sticky heat of summer on his skin, the sweat pooling in the hollow of his throat, the creases of his elbows, cooled only by the whir of the fans running full blast in the farmhouse. But he didn't miss it; how could he when everything he wanted was right here?

Clark sat on the floor by the coffee table, sipped from a glass of wine Lex insisted he try and pretended to study for his summer term Astronomy 112 test. He was really just monitoring Lex, listening to his favorite sounds. The strong heart beat, the rushing pulse, the sticky blink of eyelids. Clark wished there were recording devices sensitive enough to register the myriad musical notes of Lex's body.

Lex was working on the laptop, pressed deeply into the leather chair, feet propped on the ottoman. He rubbed a thumb over his eyebrow distractedly, generally a sign of distress. Clark studied the tension levels. While they were higher than when he managed to convince Lex to indulge in the sins of cuddling and snuggling, they were not high enough to set off Clark's own alarm system.

Probably because Lex was drunk.

"Hey, Lex..." Clark murmured softly, trying to gently break the intense focus.

Lex rubbed his eyebrow twice more before pulling his eyes away from the computer screen to land on Clark's face. "Yes?" His voice was soft, distracted, but the eyes showed a concerted effort to focus on Clark.

"I want to have a party."

Lex repeated back, "You want to have a party." He spoke the words like he was tasting them, slow and even.

"Yeah, you know, have my friends over." Clark sipped from his wine and sat the glass back down.

"A party..."

"Yeah, Lex. A party. I know you've thrown one or two of those in your day." Clark grinned, "Why are you looking at me like I'm not speaking English?"

Lex turned back to his laptop, studied the screen for several seconds, sighed and shut it down. "Okay. When do you want to have this party?" He bent to place the laptop on the floor next to his chair.

"Next month?" Clark uncurled from his position on the floor and crawled over. "Chloe and Pete will be in Smallville for a week next month. Maybe we could have them stay here with us in Metropolis for a weekend and have a party." He climbed into the chair with Lex, straddling him.

"Clark, you're too heavy."

"No, I'm not." Clark carefully adjusted his weight so that he wasn't really pressing on him anywhere. Clark leaned in and nuzzled his face into Lex's neck, sniffing.

"Smelling time, eh?" Lex chuckled.

"Mmhmm." Clark murmured, taking in deep breaths of Lex's scent and poking his tongue out to lick along the pulsing jugular.

"Why do you want to have a party?" Lex asked, his voice deep and husky.

Clark answered slowly, "I wanted to...have one...like a normal...college student," punctuated with kisses and nips to Lex's mouth and jaw. After several long moments of silence Clark finally asked, "So, the party...next month?"

Lex lolled his head back and shifted in the seat, "Sure. Yes. Whatever."

"You're easy to convince."

"It was a reasonable request and you've been a good boy."

Clark's ears unfocused suddenly and a scream filtered in from the city below. He jerked. Sounds of violence pierced his consciousness. He shook his head and tried frantically to focus his hearing back to the penthouse. Lex's arms rose reflexively to grasp him close but Clark pulled back and backed down off of the chair.

"Clark? What?"

He walked over to his Astronomy text and closed it with a snap, grabbed his book-bag and stuffed the book and notes inside.

"Clark?" Lex appeared a little dazed and rumpled.

He frowned, dropped the book-bag and turned to stare out the wall of windows lining the living room, out into the night where the screams were continuing...several voices now from different parts of the city. The various sounds of injuring fists, hands and weapons seemed to search out his ears and assault them. Clark stood silent, helpless, forced to absorb it as a sense of powerlessness crept up his chilled spine.

Lex sat staring up at Clark, "Come here."

Clark hesitated, gazing out at the lights blinking below, "Not now."

"Come here," Lex stated again, calmly, reasonably.

Clark walked over to the chair distractedly, his eyes still focused out the window, "What?"

Abruptly, thankfully, his ears again tuned to the penthouse and the cries for help receded into the dark night leaving nothing behind but fear slithering in his veins.

Lex grabbed his arms and pulled him forward. Clark allowed himself to be brought to Lex's eye level, "I didn't mean to offend you, Clark."

Clark searched Lex's face for the answer to this mysterious statement.

"Don't be angry. I was just being silly." Lex continued seriously.

His mind prompted him with the words 'good boy' and Clark glanced to the window again. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to discuss it. Not tonight. He gazed into Lex's blue eyes, murmured, "Lex, you aren't ever silly."

Lex stroked a hand through Clark's hair, "I can be...on occasion." His eyes peered into Clark's as though willing him to believe.

"Yeah. It's okay." Clark climbed back into the chair, closing the distance between them. "Sorry, I'm just a little tense tonight."

"So I noticed. Do you want to talk about it?" Lex continued to run fingers through Clark's hair, soothingly, a gift of physical affection that Clark knew was never given lightly.

The scent rising off of Lex's clothes and body already had a calming effect. Lex was like home, safe and warm. Clark nestled his face back into the sweet smelling neck, willing his ears to focus on the sound of the rushing pulse and shrugged, "It isn't anything you can help with."

"Try me."

Clark's smile pressed into skin, "You're feeling indulgent tonight, aren't you?"

"You're feeling like something I need tonight," Lex replied softly.

"Just tonight?" Clark turned his head and glanced over at the empty bottle of wine on the coffee table next to the couch. He knew that Lex had consumed most of it since he hadn't even finished one glass.

"No. Always." Lex, catching himself, stroked up and down Clark's back as he continued, "Good wine, huh?"

Clark laughed, "Yeah. It was good. It certainly seems to have mellowed you anyway."

"Too bad you aren't drunk...the things I would do to you..."

Clark licked the pulse again. "You can still do them. I could pretend..." his breath cooling and tingling the wet skin.

Lex moaned a little. "I want to..." he trailed off.

"You want to what?" Clark kissed at the juncture of throat and neck, nibbling lightly and shifting to press Lex more firmly into the chair.

"Ah...you almost distracted me. What are you tense about, Clark?"

"Nothing important. Besides..." Clark sighed a cool breath against Lex's neck and shivers erupted over his body, "I'm a lot less tense now, Lex."

"Fuck." Lex squirmed under him, "Damn you."

Clark laughed and started unbuttoning Lex's crisp, blue shirt. "I like this shirt. It makes your eyes look really blue."

"I'll keep that in mind." Lex's head was back, eyes shut as Clark stripped him carefully. A kiss or a nibble dropped on his skin every few moments had him hard and breathing heavily by the time he was naked. "Clark..."

Clark sucked bites into his inner thigh making little slurping noises. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to remember to ask later."

"Okay, you do that, Lex." Clark answered a little smugly because Lex's thighs were trembling and he knew that later would never come.

Chapter Two
Still In His Blood

Lex knew he was drunk when he couldn't stop thinking about all the different ways that he loved Clark.

Clark...oh, yes, Clark...sucking at the tender flesh of his inner thigh. Leaving a mark no doubt. God, he liked that...liked to see it the next day. With Clark there was always a next day and now he was thinking of it again. He loved him sleepy and happy and laughing. He loved him serious and intense and distracted. He loved him clueless and cluing in and figuring it out.

Oh, fuck, he was more than drunk...far more than drunk. He might even say this shit out loud if he wasn't very careful, supremely careful...Luthor careful. He bit down on his tongue to stop any stray words and moaned as Clark wetly mouthed the crease between his leg and groin.

Lex had passed into the stage of drunkenness of feeling more and more intoxicated despite the fact that he had stopped ingesting the alcohol long ago. It was a good thing Clark had distracted him from his work...God knows what kind of emails he would be sending out in this state.

Fuck emails. Fuck work. Jesus God, Clark's mouth was the most important thing in the world. Lex wouldn't forget that again. Couldn't forget it right now with the tender, soft lips wrapping around his cock, with the wet, wet, hot mouth clinging to him, so damn good and the tongue cradling the under side, guiding him deeper.

Leather, sticking to his ass, squeaked as he arched a little, biting harder into his tongue. Can't say the words now. Can't say that he loved him hot and wet and sucking. Can't say that he loved him open and taking and fucking. God, but he did. He did.

Expert fingers on his balls, slick with spit, sliding and driving him higher. Too drunk to stop the orgasm that was pushing like a warm sugar rush in the base of his spine, pressing into his cock and, God fucking damn, pumping, pulsing in Clark's mouth.

He quivered as Clark licked stray drops from red lips and moved up to kiss him again. The spicy tingle of his own come in Clark's mouth was something he always found a little dirty and utterly hot. He slid off the chair to the floor, allowing himself to mutter, "Clothes off. Now," before clamping his tongue between teeth again to hold in any crazy, vulnerable thoughts that might try to escape. He was clear-headed enough to know that would never do. Okay, not clear-headed at all, but he had the tongue between his teeth and it was going to stay there. Unless it was licking Clark, or fucking Clark's ass or kissing him.

Clark propped him up against the ottoman before moving away. Thank God. Lex wasn't sure he would remain upright on his own. T-shirt gone, sweats gone. Good. Perfect. And shit, he loved him dressed and undressed and, dear fucking God, on all fours crawling towards him. Not good. Not good at all. Lex was pretty sure that was blood in his mouth, but that tongue would stay in check, damn it.

"Lex, stop biting your tongue. You're going to bite it off."

Ignored that, just looked at his arms flexing in the low light, the way the muscles rippled, the veins wrapping rope-like up his forearm and the hands splayed on the hardwood floor.

"I want to fuck you." Only Clark could say that and make Lex want it, make him almost forget the reasons he had hated it before. Clark didn't ask often and Lex always, always gave it to him. Hazel eyes glowing into him, measuring his reaction, warming him with affection.

Lex nodded, tongue trapped securely.

Clark pulled him close, "Here? Bedroom?"

Arms wrapped warm around him, secure and, God, stroking hands that shouldn't be raising the dead already, but were, nevertheless. Lex turned into Clark's neck and bit small, feverish kisses into his skin, the tiny indentions fading instantly. "Here."

Clark turned him gently and bent him over the ottoman. The cool leather clinging to his stomach and cock. Clark curled over him and whispered, "I'll be right back." Lex knew that meant he'd be right back and he was, in a burst of air, gone and back again.

Distantly, Lex wondered about Clark's experience of time when he moved that quickly...did it seem as though regular time stood still or that time was moving very fast, or...fingers, warm and strong stroking up and down his back, then spreading him open below, whispers of love and assurance on his ear helping him relax more. The hard floor pressed against his knees and Lex spared a moment to be grateful that the ottoman supported most of his weight. Then nothing but moaning and tongue biting because, Christ, Clark was licking him, lapping him, fucking him with his tongue, worrying him with his teeth and every other fucking thing that drove Lex mad. Leather stuck to his stomach and cock as he squirmed beneath the ruthless onslaught. Wet, hot tongue. Gone.

"Quit biting your tongue, Lex, or I'll stop. I can smell the blood."

Lex released his tongue instantly, tasting blood sharp and metallic in his mouth. Despite the drunkenness and the desperate, wanton clenching from his ass, he was still a little resentful at the way Clark just assumed he would comply with his order. So he had; so what? It isn't like he...oh, tongue, hot wet, lapping, oh, fuck... And yes, he loved him licking and biting and sucking.

And, shit, he'd just fucking come, there was no way he was going to come again this quickly, but his body was saying otherwise, "Jesus, Clark...I'm going to..." gasping, frantic with nearly no muscle control as his body quivered and bucked and ground his cock into the leather beneath him. Clark just dove in further, licking long strokes into his ass. Lex hated the refractory period, or maybe he loved it because this felt so good it hurt and no orgasm was forthcoming despite the intensity of his arousal.

A squeak that must have come from him cut the air as two slick fingers sank into his ass and the soft tongue pulled away. Clark's stubbly cheek pressed into the skin of his ass as the fingers slipped in and out, twisting, stretching and burning a little but not too much. A third finger struggled in and Lex gasped and tried to swallow his grunt of pain, but Clark heard it and was hushing him, gentling him, his face suddenly next to Lex's whispering sweetly as the fingers continued to move. From behind the haze of alcohol, lust and pain, Lex could make out some of Clark's words, "...alright...so tight...shhhh...relax..." God, he loved him whispering and comforting and gentle.

Clark slid away and then up to cover his back, fingers pulling free and wiping quickly on something Clark had brought. Firm pressure against him and Clark pushed inside. Involuntarily, Lex tensed against the sharp pain and the warm words were there again. He focused on breathing, on relaxing and Clark was further in and filling everything inside of him. Full, full, full. More full than empty for a change. His consciousness focused on the tight feeling that seemed to encompass him from head to toe. Swallowed, engulfed and entered and owned. The heat of Clark curled around him and the sense of protection hit his muscles like relaxant. He was liquid, soft and pliant, being opened gently like something fragile, precious, breakable...which, to Clark, he was.

He hated to admit that those noises were coming from him, soft, whimpering, mewling sounds like a needy bitch. But, fucking God, who could resist when Clark was so good, so fucking gentle and right? He was drunk, very drunk, no doubt in his mind when he heard himself say it out loud, words he never said...and he felt filleted open, vulnerable, afraid, but it was gone in an instant when Clark began moving harder, murmuring, "thank you, thank you, thank you"... it was worth it.

Clark shifted back onto his heels and pulled Lex with him, deeper and harder and full, full, full and good, oh so good. Lex moaned and let Clark take him hard this way and didn't care that it hurt and didn't care that he was going to come all over the place because Clark was jacking him with a slick palm. White light, bright surrounding him, squeezing him and pulsing out of his cock onto the carpet and the ottoman and inside his ass as Clark's arm squeezed him tight and held on through his cries. God he loved Clark when he was coming inside him and for him and with him.

Lex didn't know when he was put into the bed, how he got there was a blur, but Clark was holding him and all was soft. His entire body ached but it was okay. He'd like it tomorrow.

Sleep buzzed into him like drunkenness and he was gone into the blackness.

Chapter Three
Fates Turn Around In The Overtime

Lex slept peacefully, tangled in the sheets. Clark studied his face. Lips were parted and jaw was slack, the little creases between his eyes smoothed and even his cheeks appeared restful. Clark wanted to kiss his nose, just the tip of it, but that would wake him. Instead, he slipped out of the bed and padded into the living room. He found his boxer shorts on the floor near the entry to the kitchen and slid them over his hips. He crouched by the sofa and collected his sweats and t-shirt, slipping them on before heading over to the leather chair Lex had been in earlier.

He lifted the laptop off the floor, where it had luckily not been damaged, sat down and turned it on. The gentle ping that announced new messages greeted him after he typed in his screen name and password.

Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2006
To: "Clark" <[email protected]>
From: "Mom" <[email protected]>

Subject: RE: Summer Help?

Clark,

I got your email yesterday but I'm just getting the time to answer it.

Your father is busy with the farm, yes, but the help that Lex sent has been invaluable. Don't tell your father that I phrased it quite like that, okay? But really, we couldn't have made it through this summer without them.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, honey, don't take it that way.

So, tell Lex that your dad sends his thanks for the extra hands and I send his undying gratitude! :) Someday, honey...someday!

We love you. Tell Lex that we love him too.

Mom

Clark dashed off a fast reply letting her know that he was glad that they were getting along without him and that he loved them too. He continued on to his next new message.

Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2006
To: "Clark" <[email protected]>
From: "Chloe" <[email protected] >

Subject: RE: Partaaaaaaaay!

Hey there, you goofball! Yeah, Pete and I are up for a party and a weekend in Metropolis (on Lex, I'm assuming? * wink * )! Just clear it with the love of your life and we are SO there.

BTW, Pete is really excited about this so hopefully it will work out. Apparently he has scammed on every girl at Kansas State and now he is hoping to pick up some of your friends. * sigh *

Yet again the Pete-ster is blind to what is right in front of his eyes. I did tell you about that, right? That I think I'm developing feelings for the guy?

God, Clark, I'm so fucked! I never should have agreed to get an apartment with him. He walks around all the time in nothing but a towel.

Have you seen Pete in a towel? * sigh * Fucked, Clark. Fucked.

Anyway, see you next month, I hope!

Love Always,

Chloe

Clark shook his head and couldn't help but laugh at his friend's predicament. Chloe always picked the oblivious ones. He ripped out an email telling her that the party was on and that Pete in a towel did nothing for him personally, but he'd take her word on it.

He moved on to his last email. His heart rate picked up when he realized who it was from and, hmm, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2006
To: "Clark Kent" <[email protected]> From: "Lionel Luthor" <[email protected] >

Subject: Metropolis AIDS Foundation Gala

Dear Mr. Kent,

Or, shall I call you Clark? I have ensured an invitation for you to the Metropolis AIDS Foundation Gala. I am emailing personally to ask you to attend. I am sure that Lex can see to it that you are properly dressed?

Sincerely,

Lionel Luthor
CEO, President of LuthorCorp
*LuthorCorp: We Make Things Grow*

Clark quickly forwarded the email to Lex:

Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2006
To: "Lex" <[email protected]>
From: "Clark" <[email protected] >

Subject: FW: Metropolis AIDS Charity Gala

Lex, read the forwarded message from your dad. WTF???

Is this a trick? I don't want to go.

Clark

Clark then dashed off an invitation to the party and emailed it to all of his friends from school. He closed the laptop and leaned back into the chair.

He was a little sleepy now. Clark smiled thinking about Lex's last orgasm and the tiny endearment that had been pulled from him in the final moments. More than enough to keep Clark's hunger for verbal acknowledgements sated for a year, definitely more than Clark had expected tonight.

He felt his ears reach out to the world again. Television broadcasts flickered into his mind, music, phone conversations. Then, as though his brain were actually searching it out, his hearing picked up the worst sounds imaginable. Fuck. A child's voice begging, the singing of something thin whipping through the air, the slap of impact, and the sound of splitting flesh almost as if he could hear each cell separating. The scream vibrated in his ears, filling his skull and sliding down into his body. A child...a little girl.

Before Clark could consider it he sped onto the balcony, climbed up onto the rail and jumped.

Chapter Four
Little Arsonist

Lex studied the undershirt in his hands. Yes, it was covered in blood...definitely blood. His fingers twisted involuntarily around the stained material. After several moments of anxious contemplation, he left the bathroom and stepped softly over to the bed. He stared down at Clark's sleeping form. It couldn't be Clark's blood. But it was his shirt.

He held the shirt out and scrutinized the red stains painted across it. On a hunch, he began looking around for Clark's sneakers and found them in the trashcan in the kitchen. Blood was spattered all over them as well and the rubber soles were melted flat and smooth. The destroyed soles were not unusual; Lex had joked that he alone supported the entire sneaker industry just keeping Clark in shoes. But the blood, however, well, that was new.

He brought the sneakers and the shirt back into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Clark. At the pressure on the mattress, Clark moaned and pulled a pillow over his head.

Lex ripped it away, "Wake up now."

Clark squinted up at him, confused and struggling out of dreams. "What'd I do?" he mumbled.

"Sit up."

Clark complied with the order, his hair sticking every which way and matted with sleep. He yawned and his eyes went wide as he caught sight of the shirt and sneakers in Lex's hands. He flushed guiltily and looked away.

"Tell me what this is about." His hands shook a little as he waved the shirt in Clark's face.

"It was no big deal." Clark hedged, shrugging, "Not anything nearly as dangerous as in Smallville."

Lex exhaled sharply, "I thought we'd left all of this behind."

Clark opened his mouth and shut it again.

"This isn't Smallville, Clark." Lex continued, "This is Metropolis. People aren't willfully blind here. You could easily get caught."

Clark shifted uncomfortably, "It was just this old homeless man, Lex. He was stabbed, bleeding...he could've died. I took him to the hospital." He looked away and back again, "And, um, a little girl. I couldn't let him hurt her any more. I took her to the hospital too."

"Someone saw you? The person hurting the girl?" Lex asked, his stomach twisting.

"No. No. I moved too fast...her father didn't see."

"Oh, so he just thinks his daughter vanished into thin air? Smart, Clark. Real smart."

Clark pushed him aside and jumped from the bed, "Don't lecture me, Lex."

"Clark, this isn't Smallville."

"Stop saying that. Stop treating me like I'm stupid. I know this isn't Smallville."

"Clark I have never thought you were stupid. Overly emotional, yes. Stupid, no."

Clark turned slowly towards Lex, an odd expression on his face, "Think about what you just said, Lex. Listen to the words."

Lex clenched his jaw as fury built in his gut, "Sometimes my father has a point, Clark. Action based on emotions often leads to poor outcomes."

Clark shook his head, "Lex, if you could just..."

Lex interrupted him, launching into attack mode, "This isn't an acceptable risk, Clark. You can't risk revealing yourself to people you don't know and can't trust."

Clark's face hardened, jaw clenched.

Lex continued, his voice even, cruel and tight, "You are risking your life for a few good deeds. I can't shield you from fear and hysteria." He felt the sparks of rage glinting from his eyes, "I don't want to be in the position of telling your mother that I failed to protect you, that the government came and took away her only child to be dissected."

It was a low blow and Lex knew it. But he was willing to hit below the belt to prevent Clark from blundering into a situation that would reveal him to the world. And knowing Clark, it would be while rescuing a kitten or a 90 year old lady who was ready to die anyway...both totally unacceptable risks.

Clark glared at him darkly, hands clenched into balls at his side. His head tilted down and he gazed at Lex as though he might actually punch him. "Lex, you really need to listen right now," he stated in a low, clear voice.

Lex had only heard this tone from Clark three or four times in their relationship and, yes, each time he really should have listened. But why turn over a new leaf now?

Lex turned and left the room, dropping Clark's ruined shoes and shirt on the floor behind him.

Chapter Five
Bubble Gum Shoe

Clark waved to Mitch as he meandered past his desk positioned directly outside of Lex's office. Mitch didn't try to stop him, so he knew it was safe to swing open both doors to Lex's office without knocking. He loved doing that. There were only two people in the world who could fling open those doors without first being introduced by Mitch. Lionel and himself. He usually loved seeing the expression on Lex's face shift from irritated to pleased in the instant of recognition.

Today, Lex looked up and smiled crookedly before his expression changed to wary. He lifted a finger to his lips and indicated the phone from which a voice prattled on in a French accent about inflation and tourism, supporting his position that Lex should be offering more for his company.

Lex seemed to relax a little when Clark grinned and strolled over to the mini refrigerator and pulled out a Snickers bar and a bottle of water. He glanced over at Lex who lifted a hand. Clark tossed a candy bar to him as well. He smirked as Lex fumbled the catch, a rare occurrence, and admired the view as Lex stood, bent and retrieved it from the floor.

He was in a surprisingly good mood considering the argument this morning. He didn't feel like fighting with Lex and he wasn't going to do it any more. Not today, anyway.

He settled into a chair and ate his snack while he waited. Lex wrapped up his business deal and even managed to make the French guy think he'd won some concessions. Clark could see by the way Lex absent mindedly tossed them out that they had been designed to appease while not weakening Lex's position in any way.

Finally, Lex thumbed the speaker phone off and focused his attention on Clark. "Did you come to finish our argument?" he asked tersely.

Clark grinned, "Spoiling for a fight, are you, Lex?"

Lex leaned back in his chair and gazed at him in silence. Clark sighed, "No. I'm here to tell you that I'm not going to fight with you."

Lex continued to stare at him expressionlessly. Clark pressed on, "Because, see, there is this thing about you that makes me not want to argue with you any more."

Lex raised a brow at that but remained silent.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Clark asked coyly.

"No." Lex answered. "I want you to tell me that you won't be indulging your savior complex any more."

Clark continued as though he hadn't heard, "See, well, the thing about you is..." He paused as though he needed to think about it, "I love you and I don't want you to be unhappy."

"Then say you'll stop."

"So, since I don't want you to be unhappy, I won't argue with you."

"Clark, you are equivocating here."

Clark grinned, pressing on, "So, you'll forgive me?"

"Clark. Dammit."

"Yeah? You'll forgive me?" Clark got up and walked slowly toward Lex. He leaned over, placing his hands on the arm rests of the chair, and leaned in, nose to nose, holding Lex's gaze. "Forgive me?"

Lex closed his eyes. Clark kissed him. Somehow, he'd managed to win this round.

Chapter Six
Cathedral

It was chilly for a midsummer day in Kansas. An unusually temperate 60 degrees and dropping. Every television set had been tuned to the weather channel for the last two days as farmers and city dwellers alike tried to understand the odd weather. Everyone was reassured that the cold front was due to pass shortly with little to no effect on crops.

Coat wrapped close around him, Lex strode purposefully through the graveyard. He held white lilies tightly in his left hand, his right stuffed deep into a pocket. The grave was directly ahead, visible from every angle of the cemetery, announcing with pompous extravagance, "Here lies a Luthor."

Normally he made this trek once a year out of respect and a personal need to remind himself that, yes, she really is dead. And he always, always came alone.

But not today.

Today, Clark was with him. Hell, today, he shouldn't even be here. It wasn't the anniversary of her death, it wasn't even her birthday. It was just a Sunday.

But Clark had rolled out of bed that morning stating firmly, "Today, we are going to your mother's grave." For some reason, Lex didn't argue.

Clark followed several paces behind as Lex advanced on the pavilion where his mother and Julian were buried. Lex was silent as he approached his mother's grave, the dread of stepping on someone's grave causing him to choose his steps carefully as he weaved through the gravestones. However, no hitch in the graceful stride gave away his concentration on avoiding such an accident.

He stepped solemnly up the stairs, pausing briefly before he crouched by the stone and placed the flowers in the holder. Clark knelt down next to him and they both looked at the inscription in silence.

Lillian Luthor
Loving Wife and Mother
1951-1993

Simple. The only simple thing about this monument. It was really the only thing about it that she would have liked.

Lex allowed himself to think of her, to remember her and the way she had walked, smiled, laughed. Her voice, the way it had sounded like melody or rain on rooftops, warm and wet. Or, the way his mother had looked at him when she said that she loved him, the way her soft hands had felt on his scalp. He closed off the flood of memories before they overwhelmed him.

He glanced at Clark and wondered what he was thinking about as he studied the engraved words.

Clark seemed content to look at the rock in silence. He lifted a hand to the granite and ran his fingers over her name and then dropped his hand to his side. After several contemplative moments, Clark leaned forward, his eyebrows drawn down as though confused and surprised. "I thought it was just with Lana's parents...but I guess it wasn't."

Lex glanced at him and then back at his mother's grave, confused, "What?"

Clark leaned even closer to the stone with a look of concentration. He held up his hand as though asking Lex to wait. He looked over at Lex with a glimmer of amusement, "She wants to know why you never talk to her."

Lex shook his head, "What are you talking about?"

Clark nodded at the stone thoughtfully. He looked back at Lex, "She says that you need to be reminded...'Listening is a skill, Alexander.'"

Lex quirked a brow, "I never should have told you that story...and I am not playing along with you here, Clark." But he studied the stone intently as he spoke; Clark had hit a little too close to home with that one.

Clark shrugged, "Okay." He continued speaking to the grave, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Luthor. Lex is kind of skeptical, you know." He nodded, "Yes, I agree. He should loosen up."

Lex shook his head and started to stand but Clark's iron grip held him fast, pulled him down and Lex found himself on his ass. He tried to arrange himself into some sort of elegant position, as though he was being observed even now. Clark plunked down next to him with little care for dirt or clothes.

"Well, since Lex isn't going to introduce me, I guess I should." Clark grinned at the grave, "I'm Clark Kent."

Lex watched as he nodded, ducked his head a little and pretended to blush, "Thanks." Glancing over he murmured, "She says that I'm good for you."

Lex rolled his eyes, "This is stupid, Clark."

Clark frowned, "Lex, I'm serious. Chill out. You're being a jerk."

"Fine."

Clark sighed and then looked back to the grave, "Yes, I agree. Lex has made a great man of himself."

Lex scoffed, "Whatever." He turned his head away, not really seeing anything. "I'm afraid I have a long way to go." He wondered what she would have thought of him, what she would have thought of his company, his lover, his life. After several seconds he returned his attention to Clark and found him smiling warmly.

Clark cocked his head at the grave, "And he's humble too, see?"

Lex actually chuckled at that. "Humble? My ass."

"Don't curse in front of your mother, Lex."

"She's heard it before." Lex rolled his eyes when he realized what he'd said.

Clark grinned.

Not wanting to be pulled into this childishness any more than he had already, Lex stood up and brushed his pants. Clark followed suit, addressing the stone again as he knocked a few bits of dirt off of his jeans, "I just wanted to meet you and say, 'Hi'."

Lex gazed across the cemetery, away from the monument. She would have liked Clark for all the reasons Lex liked Clark. But mostly because Clark loved him...his mother would have loved Clark for that. He turned back as the weight of Clark's gaze became very heavy. He met Clark's intense eyes and held them.

Not losing eye contact, Clark again nodded his head, leaning in close, he whispered, "She told me to tell you that she loves you."

Lex felt the loss all over again and he turned away abruptly, "Let's go."

"Bye," Clark flung over his shoulder to the dead woman, as he followed Lex down the steps.

They walked in silence back to the Porsche. Lex buckled his seat belt and decided to bring Clark next spring. At least he made the experience a little more interesting. A little less depressing.

Or something.

Maybe next spring he'd consider talking too.

Chapter Seven
Perfectly Windy

The phone was ringing. Lex reached clumsily for it, desperate to shut off the jangling. He jerked it to his ear, growling, "Luthor." A glance at the clock told him that it was 2:00 a.m.

"Lex?"

"Clark?" Lex rolled to see that the other side of the bed was empty. His heart stopped and then pounded in his ears, fear immediately coursed through him like drugs, "Clark, where the hell are you?"

"Well, it's a long story...don't be angry...okay?" His voice was quiet and worried on the other end of the line.

"Just tell me where the fuck you are and I'll decide then about being angry." Lex skimmed a hand over his scalp, rubbed it over his face and tried desperately to stop the sinking sensation that started in his head and went down and out his toes.

"I'm in jail." Clark stated it so simply like it actually made some kind of sense.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm in jail."

Lex licked his lips, "Fuck. On what charges?"

"Um, I was sort of at the scene of a crime. They haven't decided if they are going to press charges."

"What scene of what crime?" Lex could hear voices in the background at the other end of the line, could hear Clark murmuring something in reply to them.

"Lex, they are telling me my time is up. I'm at the station on 5th." Clark sounded surprisingly steady and sure.

"Okay, I'll be there." Lex blinked, looking around the room, trying to remember what to do in situations like these. It had been awhile. "I'll call Frank Michelin."

"Who?"

"The attorney who used to get me out of these kinds of messes."

"Okay, I'm sorry..."

Lex hung up on him. He ran shaking hands over his scalp and looked over at the empty side of the bed. The side that should not be empty. Fuck him! Lex clenched his fists, lifted his head, opened his mouth wide and yelled in rage.

Chatper Eight
Losing Streak

Lex sat at the table, nursing his coffee and staring at the front page of the paper. He could hear the shower running in the other room indicating that Clark was up. He was still furious. Angry, hurt and, if he was willing to admit it, more than a little bit frightened. Try terrified.

He replayed their early morning argument in his mind.

Clark tried to cuddle with him when they got home, but Lex had pushed him away. Clark had choked out, "Lex, you just don't understand."

Lex winced as he remembered the bitterness with which he had replied, "I understand that you called me at two in the morning to pick you up in jail, Clark. I understand that I had to wake up Mitch to get the spin doctors working on what is, no doubt, going to hit the papers tomorrow. I understand that you were at a murder scene tonight when you should have been in bed, next to me, asleep. I understand too much right now, Clark."

Clark had wanted to talk about it, had tried to use his bizarre reasoning on him, "Lex, you don't know. You can't imagine what it's like. I couldn't just do nothing."

He hadn't been willing to listen, "Well, what did you do Clark besides be at the wrong place at the wrong time? The girl is dead, was dead when you got there. And the murderer got away."

Clark had hung his head in shame. Over which part Lex hadn't been sure.

Now it was morning and the paper was full of news and for the first time in a long time, Lex hated being on the front page. He propped his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands. This was going to be a long, hard day.

"Lex?" Clark's voice, quiet and sad drifted across the room.

Lex didn't lift his head, "You'd better call your parents, Clark."

"Why?"

Lex tossed the paper at him, looking up then to see Clark's expression as he gazed at the cover story. "Luthor Lover Questioned in Murder". There was a shot of Clark ducking into the Porsche. He had been shielded enough by Lex, Frank Michelin and Mitch for there to be only the barest outline of his form, not a good clear shot of his face, at least.

"Mitch managed to pay someone the right amount to keep your name from being mentioned in the article but apparently there wasn't enough money on God's green earth to convince them not to run the story at all. This one is making someone's career."

"But I wasn't even charged!" Clark exclaimed.

"This is why I hate journalists, Clark. You're looking at your beloved Daily Planet there...a muckraking rag just like any other apparently."

Clark dropped the paper onto the table and dropped himself into a chair. "Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck." Lex repeated quietly.

Lex tossed a cell phone at Clark. "Call your parents before they see it. Or before someone else calls them." He stood up from the table and retreated back into the bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He couldn't even look at Clark right now.

Chapter Nine
Hold Back An Ocean

Clark sat on the balcony in the humid, city-smelling air watching the city wake up. It was early morning, but there was nothing fresh about it. The city had unique odors, all very cloying and close. Smothering, yet sharp. He didn't dislike it. It was just different from Smallville.

He turned from looking out over the city and x-rayed the wall of their bedroom. Lex was lying on the bed with his arm hooked up over his eyes.

The sound of the door locking behind Lex had cut him to the bone. It was the first time in their relationship that Lex had refused him physical proximity.

He fingered the cell phone he still clutched in his hand. He wanted to talk to his mother about this, talk to her about Lex...about how to make this all right again, but she was angry with him too. No one was going to reach out to help him today. He was on his own.

He knew that he'd blown it, though. It had been a pretty big mistake on his part...okay, a really fucking big mistake.

But he'd only been caught because he'd delayed in going. He had thought twice. He'd looked at Lex sleeping in bed and worried that Lex would wake up and find him gone. He'd taken 20 seconds too long to make up his mind...and someone had died. And the guy who did it got away. And Clark got taken in for questioning. And he'd been outed in the papers. Okay, maybe Lex and his parents weren't entirely overreacting.

Clark wanted to scream or sob as his ears betrayed him again, swelling like the tide and bringing in the dredges from the ocean of sound. It was too much to bear on his own. Too much for anyone to be expected to just endure, to not act, to harden their soul against. He couldn't do that...and Lex couldn't...wouldn't...understand. Hell, he wouldn't even listen. Lex's mother had been right, listening was a skill and Lex needed to brush up on it.

His ears closed again with the sensation of air pressure popping. Clark took another look at Lex's position, which hadn't changed, but now he could make out Lex's murmur, whispers of bizarre snatches of history, a litany of martyrs recited with brief descriptions of their deaths.

Clark shook his head. Lex was not handling this well.

He hadn't been charged, he hadn't even been printed or cuffed...they had just wanted him for questioning. But Lex was reacting as though the government would be here to cart Clark away any second. Actually, no, if that were the case, Clark was pretty sure that he would be holed up with Lex in the bedroom with guns and cyanide pills and some kryptonite to off Clark too. Lex would never let an enemy take either of them alive. He almost chuckled at that thought...although it wasn't really funny.

He stood up and made his way back into the penthouse and to the bedroom door. "Lex. Let me in." He spoke loudly enough so that he knew Lex could hear him, but softly enough not to startle him.

He looked through the door and saw that Lex wasn't moving. He sighed and broke the lock easily.

Lex removed his arm from his face and flicked his eyes over to Clark, "Be sure to call someone to have that fixed."

Clark nodded, "I will." He approached the bed and sank down next to Lex, relieved when he didn't move away from him.

Lex stared up at the ceiling, not meeting Clark's eyes, "What did your parents say?"

"Dad was furious with me. Mom was upset, scared. I think I convinced them that it would be okay...I told them that they should expect some papers to print my name and picture."

Lex shook his head and sighed, "I'm sorry about that. I did the best I could."

Clark took a chance and scooted a little closer so that their thighs were touching, "Lex, don't. I caused this mess all by myself, you shouldn't be expected to clean it up."

Lex took a breath before ordering, "Don't do it again."

Clark was silent. What could he say to that? How could he promise that? How could Lex ask it of him?

"I don't want to hurt you."

Lex sat up then, angry again, "I don't give a fuck about me, Clark! I don't want anyone to hurt you. I'll kill anyone who tries."

Clark shook his head, "Lex, it's very hard to hurt me." The pain was twisting in his stomach again, he just needed this to be over.

Lex opened his mouth to speak, but Clark interrupted, near tears, "I'm sorry, Lex. I fucked up. Big time. Really. I did. I know I did. I am so, so, so sorry."

Lex held his ground, "Say you won't do it again."

Clark couldn't believe it but his mouth lied, "I won't do it again." His brain immediately amended, I won't get caught again.

Lex took a deep breath, exhaled tension from his body and leaned into him. Clark took Lex in his arms and gentled him, soothed him. He began to wonder why he wasn't being soothed or gentled himself when Lex whispered in his ear, "It's all right, Clark...it's all right," and began stroking circles on his back.

Chapter Ten
Not Of The Tribe

Pete picked up the phone attached to the security panel by the elevator in the parking garage. Chloe consulted the registry and found the name Clark had told her to look for... "Bloom, 4001."

"Bloom?" He asked punching the numbers into the keypad.

"Clark said it was some literary reference...Joyce or somethi..."

Pete held up his hand to silence Chloe, "Clark!"

Clark's voice was warm and happy, "Pete! Are you downstairs?"

"Yeah, we're in the garage, thanks for telling the security guard to be on the look out for us."

"Did he give you any trouble?"

"Nah, he let us right in."

"Cool. I'll be right down. Wait there." Clark was obviously excited; his tone walked that line of high pitched like when he got something he really liked at Christmas.

Pete laughed, "Great, we'll be waiting here." He replaced the handset in the cradle and motioned toward the elevators, "He's on his way down to get us."

Chloe was giddy and danced around in a circle. "Pete, Pete, Pete!" she sang, twirling around.

"Chill out, Chlo'...it's just Clark!"

"I know! But I haven't seen him in almost a year!" She changed the direction of her dance and her song, "Clark, Clark, Clark!"

Pete rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. "You're a freak, Chloe." She continued in her antsy dancing but now alternating between his name and Clark's. "You sound you're participating in a way too happy three-way."

Just then the elevators slid open and Chloe was squealing and hugging Clark who looked pretty much the same only his hair was longer than it had been when he left for college. Pete didn't know if he liked the change. Clark was supposed to always be the same goofy kid he'd taken under his wing in elementary school.

But then Clark was hugging him, pulling him in tight and saying, "Pete, you look great!"

Pete slapped him manfully on the back and said, "Clark, man, good to see ya!" He hated to admit it, but he still had a hard time hugging Clark now. He knew it was stupid and prejudiced, but he thought he faked it pretty well. Clark probably didn't notice.

Clark grinned in that way that Pete knew better than his own face, the smile he'd seen over Saturday morning cereal and cartoons nearly every weekend of his childhood. Yeah, Clark was the same goofy kid from elementary school, Pete could see that kid in there. He resolved to just ignore the rest because Clark was his oldest friend.

Clark helped them with their luggage and laughed at their ribbing about the lack of servants to carry the bags for them. "Sorry, I gave them the weekend off," he wise-cracked, hefting Chloe's big bag onto his shoulder, "even illegal aliens need a break occasionally."

Chloe's reporter's ear picked up on that, "Lex doesn't really have illegal al..."

"Chloe, joke. Remember those things? You're supposed to laugh at them?" Clark grinned at her and led them onto the elevator.

They rode up to the sound of Chloe chattering about their drive from Smallville, accusing Pete of drinking all of her soda and of committing various traffic violations. Clark nodded and laughed at all the right places. Pete played along denying any and every accusation and rolled his eyes. He could play this scene in his sleep. The last several nights, back in his childhood bedroom in Smallville, he pretty much had.

At the 40th floor the doors slid open and Clark led them off the elevator and down a short hallway to a rather unassuming door that would presumably open to Lex Luthor's penthouse. The Ross in Pete flinched a little at the thought that he would be spending the weekend at a Luthor residence. "Bygones..." he muttered, barely audible.

Clark gave him an unreadable look and opened the door to the penthouse after pushing in some sort of code in the keypad by the door.

"Lots of security here..." Pete murmured.

"It's necessary," Clark answered simply.

"I'm sure it is," Pete replied, hoping that Clark didn't notice the note of bitterness in his voice.

Chloe trotted in ahead of them calling out, "Lex?"

Clark laughed, "He's not home from work yet, Chloe. He'll be home sometime tonight."

Chloe turned around disappointed. Clark grinned, "Hoping to get an interview or something?"

"No, Clark Kent. I'm not always about the story, you know..."

"Yeah, right."

Pete looked around the entry area. It was very sterile. A table stood directly to his right with various keys lined up in a neat order. One set of keys was missing from the line-up.

Chloe lifted her brow at Clark playfully, "Although, you really should congratulate me on not giving you a hard time about your recent debut in the papers."

Clark rolled his eyes, "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time...every one was really pissed at me."

"Funny, 'cause in Smallville you were always in the right place at the right time," Chloe winked. Pete remembered those days well. Hell, they'd all be dead if it wasn't for Clark and his bizarre ability to always be someplace he wasn't supposed to be.

Clark shrugged, "Yeah, well, my luck must've changed." Pete couldn't help but think that change in luck had to do with who his friend chose to live with. He was glad that he didn't have Chloe's problem of thoughts hitting the cerebral cortex and shooting out of his mouth or this would be a very bad scene right now.

Chloe grinned again, "Really, though, I wanted to thank Lex for that help he gave my dad recently."

Clark shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about...but you can thank him later."

"Really? I thought you had something to do with it..." Chloe was skeptical, her head cocked, eyeing Clark up and down looking for any trace of concealment.

Clark's grin took up the entire lower half of his face, "Really, Chlo', I have no clue. What did he do?"

"Maybe you should ask Lex..." Chloe smiled radiantly, "Now I really have to thank him...wow."

Clark smiled, "Well, he is pretty 'wow'."

Pete refrained from groaning or gagging. He was proud of himself for that but he couldn't stop his mouth from saying, "Clark, man, these bags are pretty damn heavy."

"Right, Pete. Sorry. Dump them right here for now. I'll give you the tour and you can pick your rooms." Clark rolled his eyes, "This place has four guest suites, each with a different view of the Metropolis sky-line...insane really."

Clark gave them a guided tour of the penthouse that really was ridiculously large, bigger than many houses. It was obvious that the only rooms that Clark and Lex even used were the kitchen, the office, the living room and their bedroom... their bedroom.

A year ago, before he knew about Clark and Lex, Pete would have made some comments about rich, spoiled brats with too much money and time on their hands. He would have made nasty remarks about sex, drugs and multiple rooms to house multiple partners. But those comments were entirely unwelcome now, even in jest. Pete knew to respect the boundaries.

Still, he didn't have to like them.

"Pete?" Chloe was looking at him oddly.

"Yeah?"

"Which room do you want?"

"I don't care Chloe, you choose for both of us." Pete could feel Clark's eyes on him, studying him, weighing his reaction to the environment. Pete wished he'd had more coffee on the drive; he was suddenly feeling very drained.

Chapter Eleven
Ease

Chloe carefully considered the big feet in her lap. Every other toenail on the left and right foot was painted glittery blue. She tried to decide which color to intersperse on the toes between...glittery pink or glittery green?

She heard the door to the penthouse open and close, and detected the rustle of Lex hanging his coat in the hall closet. She glanced up at Clark to read his reaction to Lex's arrival and caught her breath.

Clark was beautiful. Wow. Sometimes when she hadn't seen him in awhile she forgot just how beautiful he was. She watched as he brushed bright red nail polish onto the dark toes in his lap, his tongue sticking out a little in concentration as he used the tiny wand to swipe Pete's little toe.

Pete stirred a little and Clark and Chloe both glanced up at his sleeping countenance. Then they locked eyes briefly and shared a conspiratorial smile.

Chloe broke eye contact to look over Clark's head at Lex as he entered the room.

She saw him size up the situation in an instant. Chloe perched on the coffee table with Clark's feet in her lap and Clark sitting deep in the couch, sleeping Pete's bare feet resting on his thighs. She was awed by the smile that spread over Lex's features. A genuine, laughing smile...something Chloe had never seen him wear.

"Hey, Lex." Clark offered casually, still concentrating on keeping the red polish on the nail and not painting the skin around the toe. Lex approached the couch and stopped behind Clark. Lex looked right at her and grinned, she found that she was grinning back.

"Hey Clark...Chloe." He inclined his head in greeting. So elegant and casual. Chloe felt her pulse speed up a little. She had forgotten how beautiful Clark was and apparently she had also forgotten how dead sexy Lex could be.

Clark put the tiny nail polish wand back in the bottle and tipped his head way back so that he could see Lex behind him. Chloe admired the long stretch of neck exposed to her view but caught her breath yet again when her eyes wandered up to Lex's face smiling down into Clark's. She was, for some reason, unprepared for the sight of Lex bending down to place a chaste kiss of greeting on Clark's lips. She tried desperately not to clear her throat or to squirm for fear of appearing uncool.

Instead she plucked up the green glittery nail polish and started again on Clark's toes.

"What is Pete going to think of his toes when he wakes up?" Lex's scratchy, warm voice asked softly from over their heads.

"Chloe's idea." Clark murmured.

"Don't blame it on me, Clark. You are the one actually doing it, you know," she whispered.

She looked up to catch his grin and match it with her own.

"Yeah, well, it was your idea." Clark smiled gleefully, "And he's going to be so pissed."

Lex chuckled quietly. Chloe glanced up to see him running his fingers through Clark's hair affectionately...possessively? Perhaps old grudges really do die hard. Although it had been years since Clark had dated Chloe. And it had been oh so brief anyway. Still, Lex never really got over it.

Lex inclined his head toward Chloe's lap, "And your toes? Chloe's idea as well?"

Clark laughed softly, "No. Mine. Sometimes I just like to feel pretty." He winked at Chloe as Lex's fingers hitched in his hair.

"Don't go fem on me Clark..." Lex murmured with warning.

Clark reached up to grasp his hand, "Don't worry. It's just a little nail polish. I'm still all manly." He pulled Lex's hand to his mouth and kissed the fingertips. Chloe looked away.

She wasn't sure why this embarrassed her when seeing her heterosexual friends in similar displays of affection just made her ache for something like it for herself. But Lex touching Clark made her blush, made her breathless and turned her on. She just knew she was going to start fantasizing about a three-way now.

She turned her attention back to Clark's toes. Nearly finished. The bigger nails really did show off the polish to its best advantage. The alternating blue and green sparkled in the low light.

Looking up again as she twisted the top back onto the nail polish, Chloe kept her voice quiet, but let her enthusiasm show, "Lex, I can't thank you enough for what you did to help my Da..."

Lex cut her off, "Chloe, it was nothing. Gabe has been indispensable to me over the years, it was the least I could do." She watched him tug at his tie and unbutton his collar. "I am glad to see you and Pete. But I'm going to head to bed. I have early meetings in the morning."

Clark looked up frowning, "You have appointments on Saturday morning?"

Lex looked down into his face, "Yes, I do. Takeovers don't respect Clark Kent's Saturday morning routine. You'll have to go to the bookstore and get coffee with Chloe and Pete this weekend."

Clark's lips twitched as he tried to look as though he was pouting, "Well, who will fix my coffee the way I like it if you aren't there?"

Chloe watched their interaction with interest. They were so natural and casual together with inside jokes, just like her other couple friends. She wished that Clark had let her hang out more with them in Smallville, she wished that she knew Lex better.

Lex shrugged, "It's about time you became self-sufficient."

Dark feet kicked out of Clark's lap and into the air, "What the hell?"

Chloe, Clark and Lex all looked at Pete who was awake and staring at the red polish gracing his toes.

"Chloe's idea!" Clark cried out as Pete lunged at him.

Chloe reached and grabbed the still open bottle of red polish from Clark's hand before Pete could jostle it ruining the carpet or the couch.

Pete and Clark laughed hysterically as they wrestled from the couch to the floor. Chloe smiled up at Lex looking down at the wriggling masses of Pete and Clark on the floor. Lex shook his head and grinned, catching Chloe's eye he muttered, "Boys!", rather like an indulgent parent, but Chloe also detected a quiet longing there. It occurred to her that Lex had probably never had friends like Pete and Clark.

Clark was hiccoughing from laughter, twisting on the floor. He choked out again, "Chloe's idea!"

And suddenly Pete had tackled Chloe and she was laughing from tickling fingers. Even though she could barely breathe she was relieved and happy...the tension between Clark and Pete was broken. They were all playing their usual game now...and it felt right.

Chapter Twelve
Nothing New

It was Saturday night and after a long day in the city, Pete still wanted to talk. He hesitated outside of the guest suite Chloe had chosen for her own before finally he raising his hand to knock.

"Come in!" Chloe's voice called out.

Pete opened the door and leaned on the jamb. Chloe was already in her pajamas, some blue flannel pants and a sleeveless t-shirt. She didn't have on a bra and Pete's eyes were drawn to the soft, rounded flesh that seemed to follow just slightly behind the movements of the rest of her body.

Chloe ducked her head a little, "My eyes are up here, Pete."

Pete smiled, "Chloe..." He looked down at his good-as-new toenails and scuffed his feet a little on the carpet.

Chloe gazed at him and waited with uncharacteristic patience, finally, "Yeah, Pete?"

"Do you..." Pete was embarrassed to ask her these questions, Chloe had always seemed so cool about Clark's homosexuality, "Do you ever feel weird...about Clark?"

Chloe smiled sympathetically, "Why don't you shut the door?" She indicated the bed, "Come here sit with me."

Pete complied and as he sank down onto the bed it occurred to him that Chloe had really nice skin. Her bare arms were glowing. They looked soft and smooth. Chloe was always so beautiful; Pete remembered too clearly the pain of his high school crush on her.

"What specifically do you feel weird about, Pete?"

"All of it. I mean, Clark and I used to take baths together as kids...it just seems..."

"I promise that Clark was not ogling you as a five year old, Pete," Chloe grinned.

Pete smiled back shyly, "Yeah. I know."

"And he doesn't ogle you now," Chloe continued.

"Agreed. I guess...I'm just more homophobic than I want to admit."

Chloe nodded, "I understand. But Clark is Clark. Nothing's changed. He's still just his normal weird...you know, he's always been off."

Pete nodded, "Yeah, to put it mildly."

Chloe looked over at him and grinned, "Like who throws a party on a Sunday instead of a Saturday just so their philosophy professor can attend."

"Clark."

"Yeah."

Chloe flopped back on the pillow and Pete lay down beside her, turning on his side so that he could see her face. It was so comfortable with Chloe, sometimes Pete wished...but he turned those thoughts off. There was simply too much to lose, she was his best friend.

"So are you going to write a story about this party for the paper you're interning with?"

Chloe shook her head, "Nope. No use. Lex still pays all the papers off to keep Clark's name out of them. Clark is only mentioned as 'Luthor's lover' or 'the young man Mr. Luthor lives with'...no name, no pictures."

"That must be expensive."

"Well, it probably is...but it won't be long before someone riding high on the concept of 'journalistic integrity' outs them irrevocably."

"I would have thought the whole 'Luthor's Lover Questioned for Murder'-thing would have done that."

"Well, Lex still tries to guard Clark's privacy like he was Fort Knox. But, Clark's silence and Lex's refusal to present Clark to the public is fueling some pretty ugly rumors."

"Like what?"

"Like that Lex bought Clark's way out of a prison term."

"But Clark didn't have anything to do with that murder!"

"Yes, but sometimes silence isn't the best choice. I think Lex knows that. I won't be surprised if they are seen publicly together soon."

"But in the meantime, no story for you."

"Nope...no story for me."

Pete sat up, "Thanks for not judging me, Chloe...you know, about Clark."

"Sometimes, when people aren't who you thought they were, it takes a long time to adjust."

Pete smiled grimly as he traversed the room, "Goodnight, Chlo'," he murmured as he shut the door.

"Goodnight, Pete."

Chapter Thirteen
Spark

Lex was tired. The day had been exhausting with meetings back to back and a phone battle with his father regarding the Metropolis AIDS Foundation Gala. For some reason that remained unclear, Lionel was insistent that Clark attend. Clark was insistent that he not attend and Lex only cared one way or the other because his father was suspiciously interested in Clark. Lex was still unsure how Phillip of Macedonia had anything to do with Clark's attendance at this function...but according to his father there was a connection.

Lex stretched back into the mountain of pillows on the bed while Clark rubbed his feet. The long fingers pressed with equal parts strength and gentleness, stretching and pulling the tendons and muscles. Lex basked in the warmth of relaxation spreading up his legs. He could feel Clark sniffing at his instep even as he kneaded it. He slit his eyes open and admired the naked chest and the legs running up to blue boxers. Clark's gold skin contrasted with his own paleness and his black boxers only made him look more white.

"Lex, are you sick?" Clark asked softly, worried.

Lex smiled, closed his eyes again, "No, Clark. What would make you think I'm sick?"

"You're so tired lately."

"Clark, working at full speed 16 hours a day will do that to a person. You know that I don't get sick."

Lex didn't bother to mention the lingering anxiety he was strung out on ever since the phone call from the police station. He didn't mention that, while he wasn't waking up screaming, his nightmares had returned. Only this time they involved a train, a bridge and certain death for both of them. At least they both died in this nightmare...maybe that was why he wasn't screaming.

Clark looked him over closely, "What about pills?"

Lex opened his eyes, didn't blink, "No." Not that he hadn't been tempted; not that he hadn't called Toby. But no, not today.

Clark narrowed his gaze and checked Lex again and appeared relieved at not finding evidence of any drugs in his system. He was silent as he worked up Lex's calf, obviously considering his words before speaking, "I miss your spark..."

That would simply not do. Lex snapped up from his reclining position, his eyes focused on Clark. "I have my spark." Lex poured intensity into his gaze until Clark was almost trembling from the force of it.

Breaking eye contact, Clark shuddered, "Shit, Lex. Chloe and Pete are here..."

Lex stretched and smiled slow, warm, long, and hot. He leaned forward and touched Clark's face, repeating firmly, "I have my spark...do you want to feel it?"

Quickly, faster than Lex expected, Clark released his feet and claimed his mouth. Warm, wet, soft lips urgently moving over his and a tongue tasting him eagerly. Breaking free, Lex murmured, "Pete and Chloe...remember?"

"You started this..." Clark growled, he pushed Lex back into the mattress, crouching over him like an animal over prey, "I can be quiet...can you?"

Lex smirked, keeping his voice impassive, "I can be quiet."

"I don't think you can." Clark muttered, hands groping, moving and claiming areas of skin.

"Try me." Lex whispered, lifting a knee up to gently press into hot, hard tension. Clark gasped a little before adjusting his position away from the pressure. He leaned in and bit Lex's neck hard. At the sting of teeth and the sweet, comforting licks that followed on their heels, a groan escaped against his will.

Clark pulled away and smirked, a pretty good imitation of Lex's own, a trick picked up over the years. "Want to bet on it?"

Lex smiled, "No. I don't need to bet," and he pushed on Clark's shoulder rolling them so that he was straddling his waist.

Clark clutched Lex's hips, pushed his ass down, grinding against his cock and whispered, "I bet I make the least noise...if I win, you let me take you flying..."

Lex twisted into Clark, felt the head of his dick bumping into his ass and considered, "Do I get to take Valium?"

"Okay...just for the flying though. No other time."

"And if I win?" Lex murmured, stroking fingers down the strong arms and across the warm belly.

Clark whimpered a little, "Whatever you want..." Lex leaned forward and trailed just two fingers under Clark's jaw, beneath his ear and then wrapped fingers in curly hair.

"We explore my kinks..."

"Oh, yeah, sure..." Clark whispered, eyes already falling shut, mouth open and begging to be kissed.

Lex pulled back as he feigned trying to decide what he wanted to win. He could think of some things to say right now that would certainly kill the mood...like further research on Clark's bodily fluids. But no, not a good idea. He didn't really want that anyway.

"Whatever you want...you can decide later." Clark was breathless, hands moving to bring Lex back down, trying to get skin on skin.

Lex flashed a brilliant smile, "You've already lost, you know." He lifted further away and allowed his fingers to trace patterns lower and lower. Clark's cock strained against the boxers, up towards Lex crouching over him.

Clark smiled in return, eyes shut, "God, I hope so."

Lex moved in for the attack, knee grinding into Clark's groin and mouth moving to his lips, sucking hard. There was nothing he needed or wanted from Clark now that he'd stopped indulging his savior complex, well, except to not go flying. But, this would be easy to win. Clark had been smelling him for over an hour which meant that Clark would be hypersensitive. There was no way he could lose.

A smooth lick up Clark's throat and a flick of his earlobe started a low whine. He bit into the skin there as arms curled around him, holding him tight. He teased the earlobe until Clark squirmed and released his grasp. Little grunts came from Clark already. Lex smirked and kissed Clark's lips chastely before he moved to taste the skin of his chest, licking in thick lines.

"God, Lex, it feels like..." Clark whimpered. Lex held on as Clark arched into his tongue. He looked down at the feet already skidding across the bed. Lex smiled ruthlessly and bit hard into the first nipple his tongue encountered and ran soft nails down Clark's side. Clark panted, then shuddered, goose bumps raised across the skin and he swallowed a moan.

"Shit, Lex. I'm gonna lose," Clark murmured as Lex bit and teased his way toward his waist.

"I know, Clark. You can't win." Lex almost felt guilty knowing that Clark would be embarrassed tomorrow if his friends heard him. But then again, Clark had started with the betting...and his friends were quite a few rooms away.

"Fuck." Clark jumped a little as Lex scraped teeth over the tender flesh of his cock. A fast move over and Lex mouthed the juncture of leg and crotch. He bared his teeth and bit into the sensitive tendon, gripping and grinding it. Clark bucked and chuckled, "That tickles."

Lex ground down onto it again and a half-sob issued from Clark's throat. Hands closed into fists around the sheets as Lex bit the tendon again. Clark groaned, "Damn it! I'm losing!"

Lex laughed and ran calloused, firm fingers down Clark's inner thighs and the feet skidded across the bed again. Clark bent his knees and lifted his pelvis, offering Lex a view of his opening and Lex felt the jerk in his cock. Clark spread his legs further. Lex glanced up and caught Clark watching him smugly. Fuck, Clark knew what he was doing. He was getting better at this. Lex's eyes were drawn again to the hole which was begging for him to fuck it.

A heady rush of desire raced through him, and he was on the edge of coming immediately. Clark taunting him with his ass was too much. He had to regain control .

Lex turned so that his groin hovered over Clark's face as he bent back down, prepared to lick that hole until Clark begged Lex to fuck him.

Clark murmured, "Unfair, cheating. You know that scent...god..." The he grabbed Lex's hips and pulled him into position.

Lex stiffened as his cock was sucked between soft lips and down a fleshy throat. Fuck, hadn't considered this possibility and God, Clark was so fucking good at this. Tongue on the top at this angle and swirling as hands pressed and lifted his hips, forcing Lex to fuck his mouth. Over and over, rough brush of tongue and smooth slide of throat, rough, smooth and God! He was losing his touch, because that was definitely a moan. His hands scrambled to find purchase as he rode this pleasure, finally grasping Clark's ass and managing to guide his mouth to Clark's dripping cock. A mistake. Clark's moan was nearly Lex's undoing as it vibrated around him, warm throat contracting. Lex released him and bit his own cheek to keep from crying out.

But worse, he realized miles too late, he had the disadvantage with his position. It was easy for Clark to...oh, fuck...press a finger into his ass and...ah...twist to hit his prostate. Blinding pleasure, overloaded sensation, and oh, god, Lex didn't give a shit if he lost. A groan ripped out of his gut and through his lips, a loud cry that accompanied the pulsing of his cock into Clark's throat.

Shuddering, he found himself again when Clark released his cock, turned him and pulled him into his arms.

"I think you lost, Lex."

"No, you haven't come yet," he panted, "I still have to make you come before I lose." He reached a hand down to cup Clark's balls drawn tight, them moved to grasp the red, dripping cock.

Clark grunted. It wouldn't take much now, just some words. Not those words, but some words. Lex kissed him, slow and sweet, before he tightened his grip and started stroking, even and firm. "Clark, do you remember the first time?" he whispered.

"Oh god, Lex, you're cheating by talking."

"There were no rules about talking." He stroked harder and felt Clark's hips begin to relax and move into a rhythm with his hand, "The first time. Remember?"

Clark's voice was skittish, "Yeah."

"It was so good...and so clumsy..."

"I was afraid."

"Yes. I was afraid too."

Clark whined then and Lex smirked, this was going to be easier than he'd imagined. "You were afraid, Lex?" A whisper but breaking in places like a cracking glass.

"Afraid I'd hurt you...yes." Lex adjusted his hold and added a hand to fondle Clark's balls.

"Shhh, stop. You're cheating." Clark whimpered, twisting into the strokes.

"I loved it though. I never thought I'd feel that way." Lex smirked as Clark's body started trembling, his face distorted and his hips began to buck of their own accord. Yes, he knew what got Clark hot, what made him come hard and uncontrollably. He was just a few words away from winning now.

Lex whispered then, just the right weight on the syllables, "When I first put my cock in you, I didn't think I would ever be able to fuck anyone else again..." Clark groaned, hips jumped wildly. "...and I was right." Lex knew that would do it and it did.

Face wrecked, body arching and writhing, Clark nearly screamed as he came everywhere, all over his chest and the bed.

Clark had lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. And Lex had only cheated a little. He wouldn't have to go flying and Clark owed him something. This was good. The flush of success smoothed over his features.

Clark, gasping and panting, shook his head with his eyes still closed, "You manipulative bastard."

"Yes, well, it was a bet," Lex murmured running a hand soothingly through Clark's hair.

The smile that broke over Clark's face was brilliant and he murmured, "Clean us up, cheater." Lex laughed and climbed out of bed.

After Clark was clean and the dirty sheet replaced with one from the linen closet, Lex lay down again and pulled Clark close. He'd cheated, Clark deserved to be snuggled. "So, who is going to be at this party tomorrow night? Should I lock up the valuables?"

Clark frowned, "Lex, what are you saying?"

"Well, after that rather destructive 'study session' from last semester, I thought that maybe I should take some precautions."

Clark laughed, "Well, I think everyone will be on their best behavior...there aren't going to be that many people anyway." Clark ran his fingertips down Lex's side and fondled the indention of his hip. "There will be me, you, Pete, Chloe, Jack, Denise, Keith..."

"You invited Keith." Lex interrupted, his voice blank, saying everything.

"Yes. He's not a bad guy, Lex. He just thinks I'm good looking...what's so bad about that?" Clark couldn't resist teasing.

"What's so bad about that? If he touches you again in front of me, I'll hire a hit man."

Clark chuckled, "You won't need to. If he touches me again ever, I'll off him myself."

Lex growled, "I just wish that was true."

Clark poked him, "Let me finish...so all those people will be here and my professor from Philosophy 110, Eric and Sam from Astronomy, the other interns Susan, Chris and Mark from the Journal...and a couple of other girls I met in the mail room for Pete to hit on."

Lex laughed, "I thought you would be encouraging Pete to notice Chloe."

"I'm not getting involved there."

Lex nodded and didn't resist the urge to kiss the top of Clark's head. "I missed the coffee this morning," Lex murmured.

Clark, always one to know when such a gift needed rewarding, turned in his arms and whispered, "I love you too, Lex."

Lex allowed himself to be pulled in tight and fell asleep to Clark's gentle sniffs at his neck.

Chapter Fourteen
Waiting To Drown

Sunday afternoon, returning from more meetings at the LexCorp offices, Lex was startled to walk into his kitchen to find Clark's friend Jack. Alone. She was sitting on a chair and concentrating on filling up helium balloons. The dark curls of her hair escaped her ponytail and twisted out from her face every which way making her look like a child who had just run in from playing outside. Lex might have found that endearing if it was anyone else, but he didn't like Jack and the feeling seemed to be mutual

"Jack. Good to see you." Lex spoke evenly.

"Hello Lex." Jack gave a tight-lipped smile and returned her attention to the bright blue balloon she was filling.

Lex glanced out of the kitchen into the living room but didn't see Clark, Chloe or Pete anywhere. Jack, seeing him looking around, spoke up, "Chloe and Pete went out to a movie earlier. Clark didn't want them to waste their time in Metropolis getting ready for the party and I had volunteered to help, so..." she shrugged her dainty shoulders.

She really was too small for her own good. It couldn't be normal for someone to be that small. Lex studied her and thought she looked more like a wraith than a human. Pale, pale white skin and black hair, it could be a good combination, but not on her. Of course, Lex was a little biased in his judgement.

"And Clark?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and moving to pull some water out of the refrigerator.

"He's taking a nap." She hooked the mouth of another balloon over the helium tank, "He says he didn't sleep well last night."

Lex's hand hitched in the motion of bringing the water to his mouth. He took a swig and tried to look nonchalant.

"Clark hasn't told you that he isn't sleeping well?" Jack asked a little too smugly for Lex's taste.

Lex shrugged, "I'm sure he's mentioned it."

Jack raised her eyebrows and then lowered her eyes to concentrate on tying a string around the mouth of the balloon, holding it closed. "Well, it's been going on for over two months now. He mentioned it before school was out and he's mentioned it every time I've seen him since." She looked into Lex's face challengingly, "Why wouldn't Clark be sleeping well, Lex?"

Lex's eyes narrowed coldly, "I'm not sure that I see your point, Jack. I think you might want to be more explicit."

"My point is that you don't deserve him and you never will."

Lex moved to leave the kitchen, pausing to turn back, "Why is Clark friends with you, Jack?"

"Huh? Because he likes me I guess."

Lex cocked his head and kept his eyes trained on her face, she shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, but I wonder why he likes you. In my admittedly limited universe of experience with you, I have witnessed you guilt trip him, take advantage of him, ridicule him and harass him."

Jack looked at the floor, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"My point is I am not sure there is anyone who deserves Clark...certainly not you. And probably not me. But I have him and you don't. Get used to that.." Lex turned on his heel, leaving her to digest his words.

He crossed the penthouse and entered the bedroom as quietly as possible. He didn't touch the lights; he could make out Clark's form draped across the bed. He moved silently to the closet and closed the door behind him before turning on the light.

Taking off his shoes and placing them in the proper place in the line up, he began undressing. Lex felt the stirring of anxiety that he'd been fighting daily ever since picking Clark up from the jail.

Apparently Clark hadn't slept well last night, which could indicate that he had gone out again...or perhaps he simply didn't sleep well. Lex pulled his light weight grey sweater over his head and tried to reason with himself. Sometimes people don't sleep well, the comment didn't necessarily imply that they were out trying to save the world. He ran a trembling, cold, hand over his scalp grateful for the little bit of peace he'd swallowed earlier.

Lex was down to his boxer shorts when he heard the closet door open behind him. Before he could turn around, Clark had him pinned against the wall, face buried in his neck, arms twined around to hold him tight against his chest.

"Hi Clark. Yes, you may smell me now. Yes, you may rub yourself all over me now. Thanks for asking."

"Yeah. Okay. Good." Clark muttered, continuing his exploration of Lex's scents, lifting Lex's arms to sniff at his armpits.

"God, Clark this can really be tedious at times." Lex's protestations were ignored as Clark seemed to luxuriate in his odors. He finally began to struggle to get free, "Goddammit, stop!"

Clark pulled back, "I heard you."

"Heard me what?"

"Talking to Jack."

Lex turned around in the prison of Clark's arms. He looked up at Clark's face. "It isn't polite to eavesdrop. I'm certain that your mother taught you better."

Clark smiled a little and pressed Lex back into the wall, "What do you need me to do to prove it, Lex?"

"Prove what?"

Clark was licking him now, slow, hot wet kisses to his neck and chest. "Clark, your friend is just in the kitchen..."

"I'm going to show you what you deserve, Lex." Clark dropped nips along his jawline, moving around to apply a gentle sucking to his earlobe.

Lex's breathing hitched, "Are you going to show Jack what she deserves too?"

Clark laughed, "Yeah, I'll show her the door next time she's such a bitch to you." He was continuing his path kissing down Lex's chest and stomach. "She's just..." Clark trailed off as he became entranced by the scent of Lex's crotch.

"She's just in love with you, Clark." Lex pushed Clark back. "Listen, I appreciate your desire to prove how much you deem me worthy of you. But I'm not in the mood."

Clark sat down on the floor of the closet. "You're angry with me." A simple statement, no defensiveness or attempts at placation...yet.

Lex gazed down at him. Clark sprawled a little on the carpeted floor, his blue designer t-shirt crinkled from his nap, his jeans hitched revealing mismatched socks. "Your socks don't match," Lex commented calmly.

Clark sighed, "No. They don't...and you are angry with me."

"Were you out last night?"

Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I haven't been sleeping well. You know that. I've mentioned it...how loud the city is at night." Clark was being evasive, Lex noticed the subtle eye shifts and shoulder lifts.

"You aren't answering my question, Clark."

"Jack is just being melodramatic."

"Do you call that an answer? I didn't ask about Jack. I asked if you were out last night."

Clark looked up at Lex, "Sit down, here on the floor with me for a minute. Let me smell you some more and I'll tell you about it."

Lex crouched down and Clark pulled him close. Lex struggled against him. "Shh. Lex, don't okay? Just chill out." Lex gave into the snuggling and even let Clark pull him almost into his lap.

Finally Clark murmured, "In Smallville, it was so quiet. I never realized that I had to learn to focus my hearing, because really there was nothing to hear except cows and the wind in the corn." He nuzzled into Lex's chest, "Mmm, you must have had a Snickers bar before coming home. I can smell it."

Lex was silent and tried to keep the attitude of simply enduring the caresses, but damn if he wasn't starting to relax under Clark's hands. He needed to stay focused, stay clear so that he could remember why he was angry, why he was afraid.

"But here, in the city...well, it's been going on a long time. Ever since I got here. Even when I was in the dorms. I can hear so much, Lex. A lot of stuff." Clark's voice sounded strained.

"Yes. Like what?"

Clark pulled his head up, "Well," Lex shivered as Clark spoke moist hot words into his ear, "Last night I heard a woman being beaten by her husband. I've heard her before. She calls out for help."

"Clark...Clark, I'm sorry you heard that. Why do you listen?"

Clark pulled back frustrated, looking into Lex's eyes. "I can't help it. Sometimes my ears go on the fritz and I hear stuff from all over the city. People getting hurt, people hurting. It's terrible. I feel like I'm going crazy. Or like I can't handle it."

Lex frowned, twisted around, so that he was straddling Clark's waist, "Is this what you wanted to tell me the other morning?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry I didn't listen. I was...angry."

"And afraid."

Lex didn't respond.

"It's okay to be afraid, Lex. I'm afraid too."

Lex stroked his face, "I don't want you to be afraid, Clark." Lex quivered suddenly as a protective urge overwhelmed him. Clark, sensing his tension, held him closer. He cleared his throat, "We need to find out how to control your hearing. Have you asked the A.I.?"

Clark sighed, "Yeah. Practice. That's all it tells me: practice. In the meantime, I don't sleep so well."

Lex snorted gently at the understatement of the evening. "Clark...I know it must be hard to hear this stuff and not act. But please...please..." Lex closed his eyes, he never begged. He was in new territory. "Please don't go out...I can't..."

Clark toppled them easily and aligned their bodies, holding Lex close. "I know, Lex. It'll be okay."

Lex rested his head on Clark's chest. He wondered at his own selfishness...he was allowing Clark to comfort him. He wasn't the one hearing what amounted to torture on a regular basis. He needed to be stronger for Clark.

Shame filled him as he contemplated the mistake he'd made earlier in the day. It was just a small step back, it wasn't too late to start again. Clark didn't need to know.

Lex felt the sound of Clark's heartbeat fill his head, he heard the breath fill powerful lungs as Clark began again, "Obviously I couldn't tell Jack why I'm not sleeping well, so she just jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry she was such a bitch to you."

Relieved at the decrease in intensity, Lex moved up a little so that he could look down into Clark's eyes, "I maintain that she's in love with you, Clark."

Clark shook his head, laughing, "You just think that everyone's in love with me because you are..."

Lex kissed the bright lips open beneath him before asking, "Why are you friends with her, Clark? She doesn't treat you well."

"Lex...my friends back home were used to me being weird. Here, it's better to be friends with people who are self absorbed. They ask fewer questions," Clark paused, squinted toward the kitchen. "Chloe and Pete just got back. I better go in there before Chloe and Jack get into it again."

Lex smiled, "Chloe always did have good taste."

Clark chuckled, "Chloe is mad because Pete keeps hitting on Jack. It's not a pretty scene."

"And, yes, Pete's taste always was questionable."

Clark cocked his head listening, "Uh oh," Clark disentangled himself from Lex. "I'd better get out there."

Lex had never realized just how comfortable his carpet could be. He looked at Clark's body upside down as it moved to leave the closet.

"Lex?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"Clark, no, I'm sorry. I should have seen how upset you've been." Lex shook his head, "I have no excuse."

"It's okay." He brushed the heel of his hand over his eyes quickly. "I've really got to get out there."

Lex nodded, "I'll be out in a few minutes to help with the party preparations."

"People will be here in an hour."

Clark disappeared from view and Lex closed his eyes. Nice and cushiony carpeting...good quality. He could probably nap a few minutes right here and no one would be the wiser. Whatever Toby had given him wasn't wearing off the way it should. As he let the blackness drift in around the edges of his consciousness, he realized that Clark had never told him whether he had gone out last night. Nor had he promised not to go out in the future...

Chapter Fifteen
Prayer

The drug-induced sleep swallowed him whole. Blackness blissfully blocking out his fear and anger. A sound like the clacking of wheels on a train track filled him in a place buzzing between life and death. Standing on a bridge...the bridge...waiting on a...train? No, waiting on a woman.

Wind whipped red-gold strands of hair into his face and the clacking and buzzing made him vibrate. He could only see the wisps blowing across his face, smell the scent of her shampoo, citrus and sweet. Her head was turning and her angular jaw line came into his view, then her aquiline nose, her eyes closed against the wind, the red lashes brushing her cheek. His mother, her face, so beautiful.

The eyes opened like a sky, a beam to his soul, locking him into them, intense, narrow and yet warm. Her voice, soft and melodious, like it was before she was weak, lifted to his ears.

"Alexander...look."

His tongue was too heavy, he couldn't reply. His mouth wouldn't move...he wanted to speak her name, to tell her how much he had missed her. He began to panic, to struggle to talk to her.

"Don't speak...look." Her voice seemed to direct his eyes away from her face. He resisted; he didn't want to miss a second of her, but it was impossible. She forced him to look down at his hands.

He held a rock with a heart burnt into it...a gift from Clark on their last anniversary. Her voice spoke again, pulling his focus even more intensely to the palm sized river rock, "It is strong. You can't break it."

He felt a soft, thin finger on his cheek and he was able to look up again. Her red lips smiled lovingly. "How strong are you, Alexander?" There was the brush of soft lips on his face. "Be strong enough." It was a command issued in her mother-voice, the one he had never failed to obey.

And she was gone. The wind, the lips, the eyes of sky, the hair, gone. Nothing but blackness and silence remained.

But he knew that she would find him again.

Chapter Sixteen
Bruise

"Lex?"

He squinted into the light and uncurled from the fetal position. He was startled to feel the rough slide of the carpet against his skin. What was he doing on the floor, sleeping in his underwear?

He looked at the legs standing over him. Hmmm, girl's legs. He followed them up over the blue jean skirt, traversing the soft blue blouse and up to the face of ...Chloe Sullivan. Right! Chloe and Pete were here for Clark's party. Clark's party! What time was it?

Lex sat up a little dazed.

"Lex, are you okay? Are you sick?" Chloe looked worried as she stooped down next to him. "Should I get Clark?"

"No, I'm fine. I just fell asleep here, that's all."

"On the floor? Why not the bed?" Chloe seemed unconvinced.

Lex shrugged, "The carpet is really quite plush..." He hoped he sounded in control and nonchalant, like he napped on the floor all of the time.

"I'm going to get Clark."

"No, really, Chloe, he's the one who left me here. I'm fine." He tried to smile reassuringly but it seemed to skid across his face all wrong. What the hell was wrong with him? He had only taken one of those pills and it should have been out of his system by now.

"I'm still getting him." Chloe stood up and ran out of the closet before Lex could stop her. God, she was faster than a kid on speed.

Lex stood up and felt a little wobbly, apparently he'd been in a pretty deep sleep. This wasn't good. She was getting Clark. Not good at all.

Clark strode into the closet followed closely by Chloe, "Lex? Chloe said she found you curled up on the floor in here."

"Just fell asleep." He could feel Clark appraising him, doing the intense and thorough monitoring that he had not bothered to do earlier.

After several moments, Clark turned to Chloe, "Do me a favor, Chloe. Take care of things out there for a few minutes, okay?"

Shit. The party had started. Lex shook his head and tried to clear it. What the hell had Toby given him, anyway?

Lex could feel Clark's eyes examining him and he couldn't take it. "Okay. It was just one pill and it was hours ago." His heart felt like it was going to beat out of the top of his head.

Clark closed his eyes, swallowed hard. "I can't keep doing this, Lex."

Lex couldn't believe it but he thought he might drop to his knees and beg again. Twice in one night. It would be a record. Instead he turned to the clothes and picked out a pair of slacks and slid them on. Silence filled the closet as he chose a light weight blue sweater and pulled it over his head. He turned back to Clark. "It was just one pill."

Clark's eyes opened, "I need to be able to trust you, Lex." The hazel shifted and went green then nearly brown.

Lex approached Clark. "I'll give you the rest of them. Okay?" The slight lift at the end of the word might be mistaken as pleading if Lex didn't know better. All right, it was pleading. It was pleading and he would plead more if he needed to; his pride was something that he was ashamed to find he abandoned more and more when faced with an angry Clark.

Surprisingly, Clark pulled him close and Lex nearly collapsed against him in relief. "Lex, if there wasn't a room full of people out there right now, we'd talk. But I guess we'll have to talk later." Clark sighed heavily, "I want the rest of them. Now."

Lex nodded in agreement, "Yes. But they are in my desk at the office."

"And how long..."

"Just this one. Toby dropped them by today."

Clark sighed and hugged Lex so tightly that he could barely breathe. "I can't handle you hurting yourself, Lex."

"I know." Lex didn't really want to hurt himself either. It was just so much easier to deal with things when he had the pills. He felt like he was taking care of himself when he took them, not the other way around. He remembered his mother taking pills when she was ill. The fine hands wrapping around a bottle and the way it seemed so natural and right to look to the pills to fix the situation. He'd learned at her knee that the medicine was a good way to cope. But Clark would never agree and Lex knew he was right.

"Lex..."

"I'm sorry, Clark. I won't take any more."

Clark nodded, the rough cheek scratching his soft one, "I could handle it when other people were trying to hurt you. I could take them all down. But I can't handle it when you are hurting yourself. I can't throw you across the room to make you stop."

Lex lifted his hands to Clark's face, "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Lex really wanted to keep his promise this time. He needed to remember this moment; he stared into Clark's face to try to remember the pain there in hopes of preventing himself from giving into temptation again in the future. "I don't want to hurt you...or myself."

Clark kissed his lips tenderly then, "We can still have fun tonight. Right?" Clark asked softly, holding him like he was afraid to let go.

"Yes. Of course. It's a party." Lex smiled at him, "I throw great parties. Don't you know my reputation?"

Clark forced a smile and released him, following him out to greet their guests.

Chapter Seventeen
Boost

"Clark, I know I must be really, really drunk to even ask you this..." Denise began, slurring slightly.

Clark turned and observed that his friend's eyes were rather glossy, her cheeks flushed, "Go ahead, you can't back down now that you've brought it up."

Denise's eyes shifted to Lex who was leaning against the bar chatting with Clark's philosophy professor.

"Um, how do you deal with it, Clark? I mean how do you handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"It! I mean, it frightens me just looking at it in his pants."

Clark choked on his water and looked back to Lex. Yes, the material was clinging in just the right way to...

"Denise!"

Denise didn't appear to hear him, transfixed by the lump in Lex's pants. "I mean look at it, Clark. Look at it! It's huge!"

Clark didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or fall over in shock.

Denise turned her bleary focus back onto him, "So, how do you handle it? I mean do you have to use butt plugs or something?" She asked earnestly, drunkenly.

Clark could barely repress his laughter, "Okay, Denise. No more alcohol for you."

Denise flashed a bright, messy smile, "But Clark, I want to know!"

"Well, you aren't going to know," he teased, taking the wine glass out of her hand.

Denise sighed, forlorn. "Can I at least see it sometime?"

"Um. No. I'm afraid that particular item is not up for sharing."

"Can I tell you something else?"

"I'm not sure that is a wise idea, Denise. I think we've entered into Too Much Information territory already."

"But, you see..." Denise giggled, looking back to Lex, "I would love to lick his head...just on that little bump on the back."

Clark lifted his eyebrows and looked over at Lex in amusement, "Now, if you want to ask him if you can lick his head, I'm more than willing to laugh at you when he shoots you down."

"How do you know he'll shoot me down?"

"He will."

"Wanna bet?"

"He will; it's a lost cause."

"I'm a pretty good head licker. He might even leave you for me."

"Sorry, but no one licks a head like I do..."

Clark and Denise hadn't noticed Lex walking up, "Rather braggadocios don't you think, Clark?"

Clark's eyes twinkled, "Is it, Lex?"

Lex winked playfully, teasing, "I think you've had enough to drink."

Clark indicated his water, winking back, "Maybe. But she started it."

Denise feigned being put out, "How dare you? I would never..." She rolled her eyes. "You're sick and twisted, Clark."

"Denise, you have no idea." Lex smirked.

Chapter Eighteen
Fins Never Found

Clark rolled up onto his elbow and watched Lex sleep. He could hear Pete and Chloe breathing down the hallway and the symphony of heartbeats and breaths between his three companions was something beautiful.

Despite the fun he had at the party, his heart still hurt. Lex had taken drugs again. He hadn't taken anything in almost two months and now...more pills.

The realization that Lex had lapsed frightened him more than it angered him, but the anger was still there, under the love. Maybe because of the love. It was okay to be angry, it was fair. He was dealing with things that no other person on earth had ever experienced. He really needed support. He needed to be able to rely on Lex and to turn to him for comfort and strength. He had thought, earlier in the evening, that Lex could be there, that he could count on Lex for that...

He had been wrong. If Lex was turning to drugs to cope with the stresses he was already facing, there was no way that Clark could burden him with his own fears and problems. Lex would be helpless to really make a difference and Clark knew that Lex didn't deal well with the frustration of being out of control.

Clark studied the sleeping man next to him. He loved Lex too much. It hurt him to the very core how deeply he cared for this man who cared so little for himself. But he knew that he couldn't give Lex what he needed...only Lex could do that.

If he couldn't turn to Lex, there was no one that he could turn to. If he talked to his parents they would want to know what Lex thought and then he would have to admit that he hadn't talked to Lex and that would bring up questions that were embarrassing and hard to deal with.

Even so, Lex was home. Lex was the beginning and the end. Everything in between was just details. He had to remember that. He had to be okay with that or else he would lose it all.

And if there was one thing he'd learned from Lex, it was to expect to have it all.

Chapter Nineteen
Red Box

"Pete..." Clark looked his friend in the eye and smiled, "Thanks for coming."

They stood in the parking garage, crowded around Pete's Honda Accord, saying their goodbyes. Chloe was already sniffling and had her Kleenex ready.

"Clark, man, thanks for having me. It was like old times."

Clark nodded, although he didn't believe him, "Don't be a stranger."

Pete laughed, "I won't. We need to meet up back in Smallville though and relive the days of matchbox cars and Barbies."

Clark smiled sadly, "Yeah. That would be great." He knew that this might be it for the two of them. Pete had never really accepted his relationship with Lex and Clark didn't see that changing.

Chloe suddenly clasped him in a hug. Clark leaned over and got a better grip, lifting her off the ground as he hugged her close.

"Take care, Chlo'. Email soon."

Chloe hugged tighter and kissed his cheek.

Clark whispered in her ear, "Good luck with Pete."

She squeezed and Clark released her to the ground. Wiping her eyes she looked up at him with her bright smile, "I'll see you at Christmas, right?"

He nodded, "Yeah, Lex asked your dad if you guys could spend it with us at the mansion."

Chloe hugged him again quickly, "Okay. Well. Love you. Bye."

"Love you too, Chloe." He watched her get in the passenger seat, blowing her nose. Pete was already moving to get in the car as well. "So long, Pete."

Pete paused at the driver's door. They stared at each other for a moment before Pete grinned, "Later, Clark, man." He waved a little before jumping into in the car.

Clark watched them pull out of the garage, waving until they were gone.

"I'll miss you, Pete," he murmured as he turned to the elevator again.

Chapter Twenty
Constellations to Photographs

After seeing Chloe and Pete off, Clark returned to the penthouse to wake Lex but found him already dressed and sitting in the middle of their bed holding a photograph. He seemed sadly peaceful. Resolution written on his features, a look that meant his mind was made up.

Clark sat down next to him and looked at the photo in Lex's hand. It was a snapshot of Lex with his mother at the beach, a casual picture. Lex's favorite. He was a chubby baby with poofy red hair that curled; his mother had her hands out ready to catch him as he toddled, taking his first steps. Her face was laughing, grinning. She had long auburn hair that was blowing in the breeze and wore a white sundress...she was barefoot. She was beautiful.

Clark remained silent and studied the picture with Lex.

Finally, Lex took a breath, whispering, "What a thing to lose..."

Clark looked at him questioning, "Your mother?"

He shook his head, "No. All of that life."

Clark nodded, "Yeah."

Lex pressed his leg into Clark's as he pondered the picture again, "I won't let you end up like her."

Clark sighed, frustrated, "Lex, I can't live fearing death...or being discovered...or whatever."

Lex shook his head, "You don't understand, Clark, my mother didn't lose her life when she died. She lost it when my father caged her...and me. And she lost the last of it left when Julian died." Lex's finger trailed over the picture, tracing a brief line over his mother's form, "She was as good as dead long before she finally left this world."

Clark looked at him for a moment, "She loved you, Lex."

Lex smiled a little, "I know. She still does."

Clark's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

Lex turned to him, "It's tough enough without you having to fight me too." His blue eyes searched Clark's with concern and understanding.

"It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with, Lex. I know that you want me to give it up. But what would I be? A monster..." Clark furrowed his brow and looked across the room, indicating the window with a nod of his head, "And even if I learn to control this...how could I stop helping people? Now that I'm aware of what goes on out there? What kind of man would I be to ignore it? To block it out and act like it doesn't exist?"

Lex nodded, capturing Clark's hand in his own, "I can't cage you, Clark. I won't kill your spirit."

Clark laughed, grinning for the first time that day, "You aren't capable of killing my spirit, Lex. I wouldn't let you."

Lex smiled back, hesitated and finally asked, "So, just to verify one thing...you still want to be in a relationship with me?"

Clark shook his head in disbelief that Lex would still need to ask and pushed him back on the bed, covering his body with his own, "Details, Lex. It's all details. You know how I feel."

Lex didn't struggle beneath him, simply allowed Clark to mold his body to his, "You deserve for me to be stronger."

Clark kissed him tenderly before pulling back, "No, we deserve it."

Lex studied the photo still in his hands before sliding it under the pillow beside them and looking up with resolution, "Yes. We deserve it."

Chapter Twenty One
Sonnet

It had to be physical. It had to be shown and demonstrated and lived. The feelings couldn't be spoken, they never could...and Lex didn't believe words anyway. Not really.

It was better to run fingers over his scalp, caress his face and softly kiss the red-gold eyelashes. And the compliment of Lex relaxing under him, trusting him to be careful with his strength, Clark never stopped being grateful for that.

Lex's skin was soft under his lips, the cheeks smooth and the jaw firm. He bit gently at the notch where the jaw, neck and ear met, memories of rougher, harder bites pulsing through him. But not today. Today was gentleness and affection.

Lex opened his legs and Clark slipped between them. Too many clothes here to really show Lex how he felt. The need to remove them carefully, not to rip or destroy was always a challenge he struggled to win. The belt buckle was undone and buttons on the shirt slid through the rough cotton of the button hole. He was pretty good at this now, it was just impatience that made him want to rip and tear.

Lex worked on his jeans, smoothing them over his hips and down to his thighs. Clark moved enough to free himself of them completely before divesting Lex of slacks and shirt while Lex pulled Clark's t-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor.

Skin on skin, smooth and rough gliding together. Lex's calloused fingers clutched into his back and the soft moan that came from his throat could only be a request for more. Lex's scent wrapped around him, filling his lungs and his pores and, hell, his bloodstream. He could feel it pumping through his system, particles of Lex in his blood.

Clark had never smelled anything that smelled as good as Lex. He wondered if his people imprinted on scent and mated, but he couldn't think about that too much and the A.I. was only minimally helpful on those counts. It seemed he never asked the right questions.

Now Lex was tasting his mouth and suddenly questions of pheromones and alien mating just didn't really fucking matter. What did matter was the tongue sliding against his, the little needy grunts that escaped into his throat and that he swallowed to be digested into his flesh.

Lex moved beneath him in slow waves and Clark wanted to feel it all. His legs scraped along Lex's smooth ones, and strong, white thighs clenched against him. Lex, wirey and hard and strong as steel, pushing into him, trying to mold him around his hard strength. Clark wanted to be molded for him, wanted to be the perfect place for Lex to house himself, for him to feel protected and safe.

Lex pressed on his shoulders, wanting to change positions. Clark straddled his waist and rose to his knees. Lex slid down between them and, fuck, god, sucked his cock into his mouth. A light scrape of teeth that Lex knew he liked and sharp points of pleasure raced through him. He fell to onto his hands to support himself with Lex under him taking his cock full into his throat.

He'd wanted this to be about Lex but, damn, if he could stop himself from fucking Lex's mouth. Tongue smooth racing over the tip and down the underside with each thrust. Lex knew his weaknesses and had taken control. And Clark didn't care, it felt too good to worry about control. Lex wanted it, he could have it. Just...fuck...just so long as he kept sucking.

Lex's throat stretched taking him in and he should be more careful, but the earlier draughts of scent had driven Clark towards the edge. Only one thing could make this better. Clark pulled out of Lex's mouth to a murmur of protest that changed to moans of encouragement when Clark changed positions to take mouth Lex's own hard cock.

Sucking gently on the head and then taking it in deep, Clark flinched in pleasure when his cock was again kissed, licked and swallowed. It was too good, the scent of Lex's cock and the taste of his semen while his own cock was sucked, mouthed and swallowed like Lex couldn't get enough of it.

It was going to end quickly, Clark was losing muscle control as his orgasm built, balls drawn tight, clenching to his body. He was too lost in his own sensation, and the absolute certainty that he was going to come, to judge how close Lex might be and was shocked to find the cock in his mouth pulsing, spurting come into his throat. He swallowed desperately even as he felt the rush of orgasm race through his body, shaking helplessly as he hit the wall of pleasure and shattered.

He came to with Lex's legs still quivering around his neck and hands stroking his haunches. Clark turned around and they curled up together, face to face. All was silent in Clark's world until his pulse slowed down and his breath eased again. Finally he could make out Lex murmuring poetry under his breath,

*"You may*
blame Aphrodite

soft as she is

she has almost
killed me with
love for that boy"*

Only Lex would quote ancient poetry in bed like it was a grocery list.

And only Clark would recall that it was Sappho.

But he knew now. They wouldn't die or live in death...they would love and live in life.

Epilogue

*Two weeks later:*

Clark rolled out of bed, picked his boxers up off the floor and slid them over his hips. Lex slept soundly, deeply. As Clark had shifted away from him, Lex had curled into himself. Tucked up tight like a child. Clark watched him sleep for a few minutes. His heart pumping feelings through his whole body. He couldn't resist, he leaned over and sniffed at Lex's neck a little. Even in his sleep, Lex felt it and shifted his head for Clark to have better access.

Finally, Clark wandered out to the living room. He found the laptop and got comfortable in Lex's leather chair. Tapping in his password, he waited for his email to come up. Three new messages.

Date: Sat, 05 Aug 2006
To: "Clark Kent" <[email protected]> From: "Lionel Luthor" <[email protected] >

Subject: Metropolis AIDS Foundation Gala

Dear Clark,

I noted your and my son's absence at the Gala. I regret your decision not to attend. Especially after your latest blunder. I would presume that you understand enough about PR to get my meaning.

Make a better decision next time, Clark.

Sincerely,

Lionel Luthor
CEO, President of LuthorCorp
*LuthorCorp: We Make Things Grow*

Clark clicked the delete button and shook his head. He would talk to Lex about it later. Maybe he was hurting Lex's business by not attending these functions. But Lex said it wasn't important and Lex would tell him if he needed to attend, right?

Date: Sat, 05 Aug 2006
To: "Clark" <[email protected]>
From: "Chloe" <[email protected] > Subject: Thank You!

Clark,

Pete and I had a blast. OF COURSE! Tell Lex we really enjoyed ourselves. :) I've missed you so much and it was great to see you.

Pete and I have decided to just stay friends. I told him how I felt but he said...well, he said a lot actually. But mainly what he said was that he wanted to be friends forever and he didn't want to mess that up. So, you know. Whatever. Poor Chloe...alone again.

I'll see you guys at Christmas. But you do realize that doesn't mean you can't email or call, right? You giant, lazy lug!

Love Always,

Chloe

Clark sent his reply, something vague and typical, expressed his regrets for the situation with Pete and told her he would email soon. He would be glad to see Chloe at Christmas...and Pete, too.

The third email was comforting, just a note from his mom.

Date: Sat, Aug 5 2006
To: "Clark" <[email protected]>
From: "Mom" <[email protected]>

Subject: I love you

Clark,

I love you. That's it. Just wanted you to know.

Mom

Clark's response was easy. He loved her too. A lot. He smiled and dashed it off before putting the laptop aside. He stood up, sauntered over to the door of the balcony. His ears hadn't mistuned in days. And he was learning how to send them out on the hunt for himself.

It was time.

He went silently back into the bedroom and dressed in dark clothes. Took one last look at Lex before he sped out of the room, onto the balcony and lifted his arm to the sky. Hurtling through the air he gave himself a limit. Four hours or four people. Then he would go back home.

Home to Lex.

*Sappho, Blame Aphrodite
(Translated by Mary Barnard)