Chapter Text
He’s not in favor of the idea at first.
“Look,” Abed says in his best people-skills voice, “I know you’re good at your job, but I’m not entering into a PR relationship. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He sinks back into his manager’s couch and takes a sip of his cold hot chocolate. When he thinks about it, he should’ve known he was walking into a trap as soon as he stepped into the living room and saw the pitcher of special drink on the coffee table. Frankie hates it with a passion, she’s always telling him how outrageously unhealthy it is, and she wouldn’t be caught dead with Swiss Miss packets in her cupboard, anyway. That was the first clue, he thinks as he waits for her response, glass still held to his lips. Buttering him up.
Frankie sets her phone down and gives him a stern look.
“I’m just saying, it’s in your best interest,” she says. “Quite a few people are talking about you playing a gay man in your last film - straight actors playing queer characters is a big topic these days. We want to avoid the conversation escalating into backlash by getting out in front of it.”
“By forcing me out of the closet,” Abed offers. “Isn’t that even more fucked up than the original problem?”
“Oh, tone it down. You told us months ago that you were feeling ready to come out to the public, so unless you’ve changed your mind since then, this hardly qualifies as force.”
Abed sighs and glances tiredly at the woman sitting to Frankie’s right. Annie being here should’ve been his second warning that he was being set up. She stares him down, not budging. Eventually he rolls his eyes and looks back over at Frankie.
“You know, arguing with you’s gotten a lot harder since you found yourself a fiercely loyal protege.”
Annie looks pleased with herself.
“Abed,” Frankie presses her fingertips to her temples for a brief moment before refocusing. “You know I believe more than anyone that your sexuality shouldn’t be anyone’s damn business but your own, unless you want it to be. But this does have the potential to be a bit of a situation. If you don’t want to come out, we’ll figure something else out. But if you do…”
She trails off and lets him fill in the blanks. He stays stubbornly quiet for a moment before speaking up.
“Okay, fine,” he admits, “It’s not coming out that bothers me.” He crosses his arms. “Annie’s right, I’ve been ready, that’s why I took on the role in the first place. I just don’t see why I need a PR romance to do it when I could… I don’t know, make an Instagram post and be done with it.”
He watches as they glance at each other and narrows his eyes in suspicion. Then they turn to face him again.
“Actually,” Annie says, with less bravado in her voice than before. “That part was my idea.”
Frankie clears her throat. “I was skeptical when Annie brought it up. But after hearing her rationale, and who she had in mind, I actually think there’s merit to the idea. It could really boost both of your careers.”
That actually does make Abed stop and ponder, because Frankie is not known for taking anyone else’s advice. Reason being that she has a pretty perfect track record of being smarter than everyone, but still. Worth a pause.
“You know,” she continues, once it’s clear that she’s hooked him at least temporarily. “You always talk about wanting to play out movie tropes in real life. Fake dating is one, isn’t it?”
…Now, that. That’s an actual point.
“Right,” Abed says slowly, drawing the word out as he tries to process everything that’s coming at him. “And - keep in mind that I’m in no way agreeing to this proposition by asking you this question - who exactly were you thinking of to be my fake boyfriend?”
Another glance between Annie and Frankie, this one with a conspiratorial glint in both of their expressions. Annie pulls something up on her iPad screen, taps on it a couple times, and turns it around to face him. Her eyes are wide and excited as she does.
“Abed, have you ever heard of Troy Barnes?”