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✩ The brightest star in the night sky, can you hear clearly
The time when we walked in the forests, and he looked at me. The wind followed him, caressing his face, his hair whipping against his cheeks. " Venti..." He called out to me.
✩ The solitude and sighing on the bottom of the heart of that person who looks up at you
He extended his hand and brought me to the end of the trail, to see the night sky. The sky was dark but littered with twinkling stars. And there, he confessed to me, promising that we would be together forever, and he would never leave my side. But the promise he made has been broken.
✩ Every time I look at the night sky,
it reminds me of my loneliness...
it reminds me of his promise...
it reminds me of him...
✩ The brightest star in the night sky, can you remember
The time when we shared our first kiss under the stars.
It was a starry night at the airport, and he promised that he would be back in two weeks before boarding. I silently prayed to the brightest star that I could see from the glass panels, praying that he would come home safe and sound. And that was where I kissed Xiao for the last time before letting him go.
Now, I wish I never let go...
The shadows once alongside me, now disappeared in the winds
His shadow once walked alongside me, now all I see is my own shadow. When I turn around wanting to talk to him, I forget that he isn't with me anymore. But he wasn't on a business trip, rather he has already crossed the veil.
✩ Whenever I can't find the meaning of existence
Sometimes I feel like Xiao's death took a part of me away. I sometimes think I should join him in the afterlife, and be together forever. But he probably wouldn't want to see me do that. Life and death, the meaning of existence are now circling in my head, and I can't seem to get them out.
✩ Whenever I lose myself in the dark night
The night sky now seems duller than usual. I still can't forget the brightest star I prayed to that year. It reminds me of him, yet it seems to lead me when I'm losing my thoughts. As if it's trying to guide me, trying to get me to move on.
But I don't think I can...
✩ Please show me how to approach you
I would do anything to remember him, to see him again. My friends have been visiting his grave. They invited me too, but I can't bring myself to do so. I want to see him in the flesh and not his grave that might bring me down even more. I just can't, no matter how much I want to see him.
✩ I would rather leave all the pain in my heart than forget your eyes
It's been 3 years since Xiao left me. My memory of him is getting fuzzier with each passing day, I don't want to forget him. Forgetting him just pains me even more. I would trade anything just to see his golden eyes again.
✩ Give me the courage to believe again and cross the lies to embrace you
Psychologists have been telling me to believe in them, that they would solve all my problems. I don't want to believe them. What if their method of helping me is by erasing all memories of him. I've lost him, I can't lose my memories of him too. If only I could keep lying to myself, thinking that one day he will come to find me and pull me into a tight embrace. But I know that it will never happen, not in this life...
✩ The brightest star in the night sky, please light my way as I progress
To the brightest star in the night sky,
Please light the way for me to find Xiao.
Sincerely,
Venti