Chapter Text
Hakkai knew something was terribly wrong the moment he set foot home. He was late, and he thought both his brother and sister would have been asleep by that time. But as he walked though the corridor, he saw that the lights in the living room were on, waiting for Hakkai.
He hesitantly proceeded towards the heart of the house, where he found his older brother awake, sitting on the sofa. Behind him stood a group of around ten of his Black Dragon subordinates. Hakkai only recognized Inui and Koko, the closest to Taiju. The others were all unknown, menacing faces.
“Where have you been?” Taiju asked, his voice low, darker than ever, but he sounded so incredibly calm and patient.
He usually never asked questions. If Hakkai was late, or if he did anything wrong in general, the blow would come before any reasonable discussion. Hakkai often didn’t even know what he did wrong, and he was too scared to ask. He would get the blow silently, apologize with a trembling voice, and watch as Taiju rushed to Yuzuha’s room to beat her in his place. Hakkai would tremble, frozen in place, listening distantly to the screaming and beating. He was so scared to be beaten like that again. He was so scared to be hurt like that again.
Taiju asked a question before even touching him, and Hakkai knew that was a terrible, terrible sign.
“I was at the hospital…” Hakkai answered, his voice cracking in such a pathetic way. “A friend of mine got injured… he could have died…”
“You left the hospital three hours ago.” Taiju quickly replied, his tone evidently more irritated. “Where have you been after that? Don’t you dare lie to me, Hakkai.” The older Shiba stood up from the sofa, his broad, muscular body casting a threatening shadow towards the younger brother, who shrinked in his own clothes, terrified. “I suspect I already know the answer. But I want you to explain yourself, before I do something I might regret.”
Hakkai lowered his head, feeling tears forming in his eyes. His hands were shaking horribly, and he felt his legs becoming more and more weak. Taiju stood there, and did nothing. Hakkai didn’t remember a single time in his life where his brother had been this patient, this reasonable. The silence was scarier than anything else Taiju had ever done to him. Hakkai couldn’t even imagine what was going through his brother’s head.
“I… I spent some time with my friends around the city… Nothing in particular…” Hakkai almost whispered, feeling a knot forming in his sore throat, suffocating him.
“Who were you with?” Taiju asked. He just stood there, hovering over Hakkai.
“I was with… Pah-chin, Peh-yan…” Hakkai was lying. He had no choice but to lie. “Kawata…” his voice checked. His stomach was twisted in a painful mess, and he struggled to get the words out of his throat. He was about to vomit. “Hanagaki…”
Taiju finally had enough of Hakkai’s pathetic attempt at defending himself and he jumped at him, wrapping his big hand around his brother’s slim neck, squeezing just enough to make Hakkai feel pain, but still allowing him room to breathe and speak.
“Don’t test me, boy.” Taiju screamed, his tone sharp and piercing. “I already know the answer. Inui and Koko followed you. I want to hear it from your dirty mouth before I decide to teach you a lesson.”
Hakkai couldn’t control his pathetic crybaby tears anymore, as he struggled to breath under Taiju’s unmovable grip. His vision started to become blurry, the world around him started to spin as his brain desperately tried to evade the situation. He didn’t want to be hurt again, not again, not by those hands. He tried to scream, but his he couldn’t make any sound. There was a force more powerful than Taiju suffocating him: fear.
“Taiju please…” Hakkai cried out, trying to push his brother away, but his arms felt too weak, too fragile against Taiju’s chest.
“How many times have I told you not to fall for that whore’s satanic temptations, uh?!” Taiju screamed, his face so close to Hakkai that he was covered in saliva as Taiju kept screaming like a dog with rage, uncontrolled. “I took you to church, I prayed for you, and you still don’t seem to learn.”
Taiju threw him on the floor effortlessly, and before Hakkai knew he was hit in the stomach with a kick. Hakkai spit blood and bile, and he crawled to stand against the wall, trying desperately to escape Taiju fury. The older brother punched the younger two, three, four times, until Hakkai could do nothing but tremble, crouched desperately, hugging his knees.
“Stop… please..!” Hakkai begged, as one last blow hit his face.
The fatal, uncontrollable fury of Taiju hitting his little brother with his deadly fists was suddenly interrupted as Yuzuha, the beloved middle Shiba sister, burst in to the room, crying and screaming.
“Stop, Taiju, don’t lay a finger on him!” she jumped at Taiju, trying to get his attention and allow Hakkai a moment to run away, but she was quickly grabbed by a couple of the Black Dragon members that were watching the scene standing behind the sofa.
Yuzuha screamed and kicked trying to free herself, begging Taiju to punish her in Hakkai’s place, as he always did, as he promised.
The older brother didn’t even look at her, as he quickly gestured to his subordinates to take his rebellious sister back to her room.
“I’ll deal with you later.” He said, his eyes fixed on Hakkai’s trembling figure. “This time he needs to take responsibility for his actions.” He hit Hakkai again, as Yuzuha was being pushed inside her room with no mercy. “Lock her up, I don’t want her to interfere this time.”
Hakkai stayed silent, as Yuzuha screamed his name, locked in her room. He was alone, at his brother’s mercy.
Taiju stood, hovering over Hakkai’s hurt body.
“I want to hear it from your mouth. Who were you with?” Taiju asked, his voice suddenly more calm.
Hakkai was trembling as he desperately whispered a name: “Taka-chan…”.
“Louder!” Taiju hit him in the face, shouting. “WHO WERE YOU WITH?”
“Takashi Mitsuya!” Hakkai cried that name in despair, as he tried to shield himself from Taiju blows.
But Taiju didn’t hit him again, instead he turned himself, to face his Black Dragon subordinates. Hakkai could only watch his brother’s broad shoulders as he slowly walked towards the sofa, sitting back there as if nothing happened.
“Tell them what you did with Taka-chan tonight.” Taiju said, mocking the way Hakkai referred to Mitsuya saying his name with a high pitched tone.
Hakkai shrinked against the wall, tears flowing down his bruised face. He felt so small, so vulnerable. He didn’t know if he feared more the beatings that were expecting him, or the humiliation his brother was subjecting him to. He lowered his head and said nothing. He tried to make himself as small as possible, hoping that he would just disappear.
“Tell them, or I will them anyways.” Taiju screamed, throwing a pack of cigarettes at him. “I’m done hiding your behavior out of shame. You don’t want to learn, now you pay the consequence. What did you do with that guy tonight?!”
“We… kissed…” Hakkai decided there was no point staying silent and hide anymore.
He closed his eyes, trying to think of another place, another moment. He desperately wanted to escape what was going to happen to him. His mind wandered back at the time he spent alone with Taka-chan that evening, after they left the hospital, reassured that their friend Draken was safe and sound.
Hakkai and Mitsuya were so unfortunately close, yet so distant. Mitsuya was the light of Hakkai’s life, he had been such for years. Taka-chan showed him how kind and warm love can be. After spending years terrified by the idea of love, he found himself utterly in love with his silver haired captain. Hakkai thought love was painful, but Taka-chan’s love was soft, and sweet. Hakkai loved being in love with Mitsuya. Yet Hakkai couldn’t dare get any closer to his captain even if the two of them clearly had feeling for each other. Hakkai could only watch Mitsuya from a distance, spearing him the fate that would await them in hell if he dared to fall for his satanic thoughts. Hakkai didn’t want to taint Mitsuya, he didn’t want to stain his soul and body with his sinful love. Hakkai wanted to protect his captain, in life and after, watching him carefully.
Hakkai tried desperately to heal from his satanic nature, so he could be worthy of Mitsuya’s heavenly presence. He attended church, read the bible, took beatings and insults form his brother. Yet, his mind would always wander to Mitsuya’s soft smile, and for as much as he tried to contain himself he would always blush when he heard his voice.
Taiju smashed his phone when he found out he had put a picture of Taka-chan as his screensaver. Hakkai prayed with his brother for days after that, but his feelings never changed.
He tried to stop going out with Mitsuya, but after a couple of days without seeing him, Hakkai would feel so lost and cold as if he was about to die.
That night Taka-chan hugged him outside the hospital, sighing in relief.
“I was so scared…” he said, his voice so painfully tired. “I don’t want to lose my friends.”
Hakkai knew he had no right to hold such a heavenly creature, yet he reciprocated the embrace, holding Taka-chan close to his chest.
“If you get hurt, I might die.” Mitsuya jokingly said, a soft chuckle escaping from his pink lips.
Hakkai stared at his face in contemplation, memorizing his features all over again. Hakkai shallowed, as Mitsuya caressed his scarred lips with his thumb. They were always close, too close, more close than any of their friends. Hakkai tried to resist the urge to fall for that soft feeling, but as Mitsuya softly kissed him he could only cry, holding him close and tasting the sweetness of his lips with hunger and desperation.
He embraced the sin. It was all his fault Mitsuya was tainted. It was his fault their souls were damned. And he was about to pay the consequences of his actions.
The next thing he knew was that he was surrounded by Taiju’s subordinates. His brother was still sitting on the sofa, smocking his cigarette patiently, distantly. Hakkai stood on the floor trembling, his terrified gaze wandering around the room, watching those unknown faces stare back at him with shame and disgust.
“Did you do anything else with that boy?” Taiju asked. He sounded so defeated, ashamed. The idea of being a disappointment hurt Hakkai more than the beatings.
“No!” Hakkai quickly replied, his whole body tensed.
He would never do that to Taka-Chan. He would never taint him this bad. Taka-chan was holy and sacred. Hakkai would never profane his body, if that meant dirtying him with his sin.
Taiju sighed, looking at Inui and Koko, who were still standing besides their boss. The two of them nodded, confirming that Hakkai and Mitsuya just kissed, and nothing else. Taiju looked relived.
“So we can still fix you.” The older brother affirmed, not even looking at Hakkai anymore. “I didn’t want to get this far, but before you make any irreparable mistake, let me teach you the hard way how wrong and painful Satan’s ways are.”
Taiju shook his hand, giving permission to his subordinates to proceed with the punishment. Hakkai stood in place petrified, confused, terrified as the group of delinquents took him by his arms and shoulders, forcing him to the floor. If they were going to beat him all together, they would kill him. Hakkai tried to fight back with all his might, but his fists had no strength, he had no will to fight when he knew he was no match to all those guys, to his brother. He took so much beatings already, he could take this one too, he had to be strong and accept his fate. He closed his eyes, waiting for the first punch to hit, but he wasn’t expecting that what they were planning to do to him was far, far worse than what he had imagined.
Hakkai felt hands tearing his Toman uniform, the uniform Taka-chan made with his own holy, talented hands just for him, leaving him naked, exposed on the floor. He couldn’t move, terrified, shocked, confused. They tore his jacket off of him, the buttons jumping all over the floor. The embroidery Taka-chan spent so much time sewing was reduced to an unreadable mess. Someone hit him on his exposed chest when Hakkai desperately tried to keep the jacket on, more to preserve Taka-Chan’s gift than anything. Hakkai tried to kick the delinquents away when they started unbuckling his belt, as he suddenly realized what was happening.
“Brother..!” Hakkai cried out, his throat sore, each cry was as painful as a punch. “Brother stop this please!” he begged, his raspy voice was but a mere noise between the loud insults the Black Dragon guys stripping him were screaming.
“I’m giving you a taste of what you’re signing for, following Satan’s temptations.” Taiju answered. He wasn’t even looking at the disgusting scene happening before him. “You chose to be a sodomite, and then be a sodomite. Let’s see if you still enjoy your deviance after this.”
Hearing those words Yuzuha started to scream, kicking and punching the door of her room. She screamed injuries at Taiju, words so vulgar Hakkai feared Taiju might want to killer her after he’s done with punishing their little brother.
Hakkai screamed at the realization, his whole body kicking, and punching and twisting trying desperately to get away from that fate. He felt hands pinning his arms down, squeezing his wrists and forearms until he couldn’t feel his hands anymore. He begged. When someone successfully slid his pants off of him, he began to cry uncontrollably, like a child, like a spoiled brat. He crossed his legs, twisting his body, trying to preserve what was left of his dignity. Countless hands grabbed his ankles and thighs, and he fought back with all his strength to keep his legs closed.
“Please, please, please..!” he cried again and again, until some delinquent shut his mouth, pressing a hand over his lips.
Hakkai could only make muffed, desperate sounds, as his legs gave up to the abuse and were spread apart forcibly. Taiju was looking away, completely impassible while his little brother was being manhandled on their living room floor. Hakkai hoped until the very last second that it was just a test to scare him. He hoped until the very last second that Taiju would finally look at him and order his men to stop and let him go. He hoped until the very last second that Taiju would care enough to protect him.
“Rape him.” Taiju ordered, coldly, staring away.
Hakkai’s mind went blank as he was subjected to a new kind of pain he never knew before. All he could see was pitch black, he couldn’t even see the faces of his rapists or hear their voices. All he could feel was pain, so much pain. He thought he was going to die. He tried to scream, but he couldn’t make any sound. The pain was all his body could focus on.
It hurts.
He prayed to God to please, please make it stop. But of course God wouldn’t listen to the prayers of a sinner.
It hurts..!
He didn’t know how long it took for the first man to finish, and he didn’t know how many others came after the first one. All he knew was that the pain only got worse with time. He didn’t feel anything anymore. The hands holding him down, the coldness of the floor, the bruises, he felt nothing of that. All his sensed focused on that excruciating pain on his lower half.
IT HURTS!
It hurt, until he couldn’t feel anything at all. His body was not his body anymore. He felt the pushes, his body being thrown from man to man, but he didn’t feel their hands, their touch, he didn’t feel the pain. He was looking at his body from the outside. He thought he was going crazy.
He thought of another place, another moment. He thought of the first time Taka-chan had taken the measurements of his body to tailor his Toman uniform. He thought of how careful and respectful Mitsuya’s hands were as he traced the lines of his body, as he handled his limbs taking notes accurately. Hakkai focused his mind on Mitsuya’s serious and handsome face as he checked the measurements with his measuring tape. Hakkai loved that face he made. He loved him so much, so much. Hakkai wanted so desperately to be back in the sewing class with Mitsuya and spend just another moment with him, before letting himself go to despair.
“You should be a model.” Taka-chan remarked.
Hakkai blushed, his eyes wide and his heart pounding hard to the unexpected compliment, from nonother than his beloved Taka-chan.
“Did you say that to the others while taking their measurements?” Hakkai asked, lowering his gaze.
“Not at all.” Mitsuya chuckled, his lavender eyes scanning Hakkai carefully, as if he was the most interesting person ever. “Your measurements are perfect, and you’re handsome.”
Hakkai couldn’t believe how easy it was for Mitsuya to be so gentle and loving. He smiled, flattered, feeling sweat on his hands.
“My face is ruined, though.” the taller one said, referring to the scar splitting his lips. His brother gave it to him, as a reminder of his brotherly love. The more time Hakkai spent with Mitsuya, the more that scar felt like a reminder of Taiju’s abuse than his love.
“I think you look gorgeous.” Taka-chan smiled at him, his eyes fixed on the scar. “It looks unique, and it doesn’t ruin your features. It will make you recognizable.”
Mitsuya taught Hakkai to see the beauty in everything. Mitsuya showed Hakkai unconditional love and kindness. Mitsuya was the reason Hakkai could find the strength to live another day.
And those hands spreading his legs apart were stripping him of that light.
How could he face Taka-chan again, after this? How could he face Taka-chan when he let those men tear apart the uniform he made for him with so much care? How could he face him when his lips, the lips that stole Taka-chan’s first kiss, were now stained with those men’s seed?
Taiju won.
Hakkai would have never found the courage to show his face to the world again. He was a shame to the family, and now a shame to himself. Hakkai was contemplating death as the last man came inside his body, and left him to rot on the floor.
Hakkai curled himself in a fetal position, wrapping his trembling arms around his dirty, beaten body. He tried to look for Taiju’s gaze, but his vision was blurry, confused. His mind was broken. He swore he saw Taka-chan running towards him to protect him, but he never came. He was alone, covered in the seed of his rapists, on a cold, terribly familiar floor.
He crossed his legs, and each movement hurt in his whole body. He instinctively brought a hand between his legs, crying desperately as he tried to stop that excruciating pain. He was wet and sticky, the feeling made him want to vomit. He retraced his hand to see it covered on seed and… blood. Lots of blood. His legs were a gruesome drift of blood. Hakkai didn’t know sex made you bleed so bad.
He saw a big foot stomp right before his face, and he weakly looked up to see his brother standing over him. His gaze was unreadable. Hakkai didn’t fear him. He could do nothing worse to him, after what he just went through. If Taiju wanted to kill him, so be it.
“You didn’t come, that’s a good sign.” Taiju commented, staring blankly at Hakkai’s bloodied, messed up legs. “It means you can still be saved.”
Hakkai rested his head on the floor, crying silently as his brother kept checking him to see if his body reacted to the rape.
“It hurts because God didn’t make men to be sodomites. Do you understand that now?” Taiju asked, not really expecting any answers from his brother. “I didn’t want to hurt you this bad, but it’s the only way to make you understand.”
Hakkai asked God forgiveness, for all the times he dreamed of sleeping with Taka-chan. He begged god forgiveness for having dreamed of doing this to the love of his life.
“You better learn your lesson once and for all.” The older Shiba lowered himself enough that his face was just a few inches away from Hakkai. “If I see you with that guy once again, I’m doing this to him personally. I will ruin him so much that you will not be able to look at him without being disgusted. Do you understand?”
Hakkai painfully and weakly nodded, his bruised face rubbing the floor.
He would disappear from Mitsuya’s life.
Taiju grabbed his little brother by the forearm, forcing him to stand up. Hakkai hissed, his legs giving up to that excruciating pain. He fell on the floor, crying out as he desperately tried to shield himself from any beating, begging them not to hurt him, begging them not to rape him again. Taiju exhaled, taking Hakkai’s space themed pajama from Inui's hands and throwing it at his little brother.
“Put that shit on.” he roared, his voice as painful as a punch in the guts. “We’re going to church. We need to pray for you, and for that guy too. Let’s pray you will both find God’s way.” Taiju said, walking away and leaving Hakkai alone, struggling on the floor.
Hakkai painfully dressed himself, staining his pajama with blood. Taiju used to get very angry when Hakkai dirtied his own clothes, but Hakkai didn’t care anymore. He would go to church and pray for his Mitsuya. Pray that he will be forever free and at peace with himself without ever having to go through what Hakkai went through.