Chapter Text
Yanli was 16 when she fell in love first. It was with the head disciple of her sect, her father’s right hand, a handsome man with a gentle nature and a strong core. Of course, she was smitten.
She blushed at the mention of him, often sought him out in the crowd of disciples, gave him an extra serving of meat when she was helping at the kitchen, and embroidered a scent pouch for him. The normal teenage crush stuff.
He was popular among the females, and Yanli knew she paled in comparison to some of the female disciples, especially the highest-ranked among them. So she was satisfied with the occasional smile, and the fond head pats.
But then, one day he started reciprocating.
She accepted his gifts and hid them under loose floorboards under her bed. They would write letters to each other, she kept his letters there too, along with the hairpin, the jade comb, and the wrappers of all the snacks he would sneak into her room late at night, much after curfew. Perks of being the head disciple.
She thought it was true love.
She was naive. She was 16, he was 18. She had a duty to the sect, and so did he. It was never a story forever, but Yanli prayed it would become one. His letters said promised so as well. She dreamed of being his wife, of starting their own family. The two of them, in a small cottage, and a garden at the back where their 2 kids -one boy and one girl- would play during the day, and their uncles would come to visit sometimes, bringing gifts and stories from their adventures. The three men would go night hunting while she and the kids waited at home with a warm pot of soup for dinner. A happy family.
A perfect life that would only remain a dream. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew her future home lay somewhere else, not as a simple housewife, but as a sect leader's wife.
But right there, under the starry sky, she followed him, jumping out the window of her room, allowing him to carry her to the shed at the far corner of the training crowd, far removed from the main house and its occupants. She was young, but she wasn’t completely clueless. She knew she wasn’t the first girl he had brought to this spot. But she believed herself to be special. Naive, maybe. She believed him to be hers forever. She choose her dream over her reality - to be hidden and away from everyone's ears and eyes and live in a memory she could cherish.
She knew lines would blur with no one to catch them. It was late at night, way after curfew. No one would dare be there except the head disciple and the sect leader’s daughter. She knew, and she was excited by it. She wore lesser layers, and let him hold her flush against his body as they talked about mundane things. She did nothing to stop his wandering hands which rubbed the side of her stomach, the movement pulled her skirt higher, exposing first her ankles, then her calf, and now half her thigh was unclothed. It excited her, she could feel herself getting wet at his ministrations. So she didn’t stop him. He didn’t touch her the first few nights they had done this, just held her close. He had kissed her only on their fourth night. She trusted him.
This time when he took her lips, he pushed his tongue into her mouth, at the same time pulled her skirt up the whole way, exposing keeping nothing covered to the world, she gasped, trying to pull it down in embarrassment, but his hand cupped her and applied gentle pressure. Making her swoon. The arm around her back kept close as his kisses continued down her neck and deeper into the neckline, nibbling at the visible part of her cleavage while one of her hands worked on her belt.
She was too lost in the new intense sensations to realize the belt coming off and the layer of clothing falling open to reveal her breasts to the man. She moaned louder than ever when he bit on her nipples, pushing his face hard into her chest. The combined stimulation had her bucking her hips up, and whining for more. He chuckled as he kissed her lips again.
Everything felt hot. She felt like she was floating, not in control. She trusted him and willingly lay onto the futon he had prepared for the date tonight. She lifted up her hips, allowing him to remove all her clothes and underwear. She sighed in relief when he settled between her legs, making her widen them to accommodate his size, and bent down to kiss her again.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, opening her legs as wide as she could. Their naked bodies pressed together. His hard planes against her soft. It was perfect. Like it was meant to be.
She didn’t protest when he guided her hand to pleasure him. She blushed when he let her play around with his hardness. The heat and the texture made her curious. How would it fit inside her, it was so big. He pushed a finger into her hole and moved it in the same rhythm as her hands were on his member. He took her to completion and guided her on how to bring him to his.
That night had been perfect.
The next night, they didn’t bother with the mundane small talk. She stripped and straddled his lap and he held her close. Their groins rubbed against each other until the two orgasmed. And then, wrapped in each other's arms, they talked about their day. He kissed her when he dropped her back to her room through her window, and left, but not before showing her a souvenir he had kept from the night.
Her soaked underwear.
She blushed, but her smile didn’t fall even on the next day.
Yanli was ready for the next step. Gege had been extremely patient with her. It had been a month, and he wouldn’t go beyond fingering her. He had licked her down there and made her suck him too. But she wanted him to make love to her under the stars. She knew he was waiting for her to be ready.
So tonight when he came for her, Yanli pulled him into her room. His wide eyes made her giggle, she started stripping, enjoying his panic. When she was completely naked she pointed at the sealing and silencing talismans on the door. She had stolen them from a-xian’s practice bundle, and she knew that her brother was very good at it, they would hold for the night.
He smiled. And pounced on top of her, tumbling into her bed. Kissing her through her giggles. There was a hunger in his eyes and the urgency with which he kissed her. Yanli felt desired - like the only woman who could satisfy his needs.
It didn’t take long for him to reclaim his position between her open legs. She moaned, conscious to keep it down despite the talismans in her room. Her back was arched off the bed, and he lay half on top of her, his thigh pinning her to the bed, and, sucking on her nippled while pumping three fingers deep in her pussy. It was a lot, and she could nothing but lie there, clutching at him, the bedsheets and her own breast, feeling the pleasure mount with every second.
After her first orgasm. He re-positioned his dick at her opening, coating it with all the juices that were leaking out, and slowly pushed in.
There was blinding pain,
This wasn’t the bliss the older girls described lovemaking as. Yanli felt something tear with every push inside, but she didn’t stop him. Instead, she closed her eyes tight and clawed at the bedsheets. He whispered sweet nothings in her ears, but she didn’t understand them. She felt him move, and she wanted to scream at him to stop. But she was scared to do so. She didn’t want to push him away or seem like she wasn’t enjoying it. She opened her eyes and saw the way his eyes were shut tight in pleasure. How his moans were louder than when she played with his dick. He was clearly enjoying this more. So she forced herself to relax, through each thrust a new jolt of pain ran up her back, but she concentrated on his face. On their future together.
That made the pain worth it, she thought.
The pain eventually came down, and a small shift in their position and gege was suddenly in places Yanli didn’t know would make her feel this way. Suddenly she understood why the older women were so taken by this act. Yanli realized belatedly when a harsh kiss was forced onto her lips that the loud noises around her had been coming from her mouth. She also noticed the grunts of the man above her. His hands came up to hold hers above her head, intertwining them. He was holding her hands tight as he took her virginity, and Yanlis eyes teared up at the gesture.
The tempo increased, and soon his gentle thrusts turned into him pushing into her like the crazed dog thrusting into her, claiming her virginity for himself. Her legs stretched outwards and wrapped around his hip, holding him close as she hit her peak. Her hands tightened around his as a loud scream escaped her mouth. Her upper body was lifted off of the bed by the sheer force of the second orgasm, her whole body trembling at the force of it.
He continued thrusting into her as her body came down from the second climax, chasing his own high. His rhythm grew in intensity and he bit into her collarbone before finishing inside her.
She smiled thinking of the future. This would be the start of their family together. She knew he felt the same way, from the praises he was showering on her. He stayed inside her a little longer, showering her with kisses as far as he could reach. Yanli would feel him softening inside her, and she clenched around it, making him hiss and then chuckle. He kissed her nose and promised a repeat after a nap. He got into bed behind her, spooning and occasionally letting his hand wander down to her pussy and pushing a finger in as if wanting to stop his juices from escaping.
Making love had been brilliant, a promise of a lifetime together. Her dream might become her reality.
He kept his promise, a few hours later, Yanli woke up with a head between her legs and tongue being thrust inside her. Her hardness was on top of her face, and for a second Yanli was shocked at the size of it fit inside her. She pushed up and took him into her mouth. The vibrations groan did something to her and her answering moan was well received as well.
He came down her throat while he drank up her juices.
At 16, there was nothing greater than what was between them. Yanli was willing to give her everything to his man
But the next day she woke up alone in bed. She was clothed in her usual nightclothes, and all the blood and mess from their lovemaking had disappeared, along with gege and his cum that had been staining her stomach when she fell asleep. She thought he had done it to protect their love. But when she went down for breakfast, she was stunned to see bright red decorations, and the preparation being made for an extravagant celebration with her lover nowhere in sight.
That morning, at breakfast, a new head disciple had been announced- Wei Wuxian was to replace her gege.
Confusion and hurt struck her, but she was trained to show minimal feelings. Why hadn’t he mentioned anything to Yanli last night? They made love twice, and not once did he think she would want to know that he was leaving? When she asked around, she found out that while she spent her night sucking his cock and her days making castles in the sky, much had been overlooked by her.
Her gege was a popular man. She knew this. She knew many women had come before her, many who were still fellow disciples in the sect, many would-be heartbroken when they would find out about her status in his life. She had been a little smug about it since the first day. But because of that she never noticed that she hadn’t been the only one special to him. He had been seeing someone in the day, while also fooling around with Yanli at night.
And now that he had taken her virginity, he had announced his intention to leave the sect, and become a rogue cultivator. Along with that, he had made his intentions to marry that female disciple public. A woman Yanli had been jealous of since she had been taken in. Yanli’s heart broke as the couple received their blessings from the Sect Leader, and exchanged their bows in front of the whole sect. They looked good together, she was happy and radiant in red, he was smiling at her with adoration in his eyes. Yanli couldn’t take her eyes off of them.
But he didn’t look at her once, not even when she stood close to him and whispered congratulations to the newlyweds, he kept looking at the floor. A part of her wanted to expose him, but a bigger part of her loved him and that part sincerely wished him happiness. She smiled and clapped like everyone. And when she found it tiring she slipped away to her room. Aware of another set of footsteps behind her.
When the familiar hands grabbed her and pulled her into the storage room opposite her bedroom she went easily. She kissed him back when their lips met, their tongues dancing, heavy with emotion. She didn’t slap away the hands that pulled at her belt and opened her clothes enough to expose her wetness to the cool air, even though she wanted to. She was still sore from yesterday’s lovemaking - no that was fucking, Yanli knew now, and she knew it would reopen the wounds. She wanted to push him off of her and walk away. Instead, she hooked her legs on his hip when he pushed into her heat. Her head hit the wall as she sighed with pleasure. She held onto him as an anchor and bucked her hips to meet his thrusts; the two lost themselves in the pleasure from the act.
He was the groom, they would come looking for him. They would wonder where he could be. She was the sect leader’s daughter, never missing from functions of the sect. They would wonder where she could be.
And given time, they would connect the dots.
So time was something they couldn’t waste. There was no gentleness in his kisses, no care in his thrusts. She was being fucked against the wall by the man that she had loved sincerely, and with all her heart. Clawing at each other like estranged lovers meeting after decades. She could hear the whispered apologies, so she bit his lips in protest. It was too late for that.
Yanli’s hands, now experts under his tutelage, rubbed her clitoris, pushing her off the edge on his cock one last time, and she clenched her walls, making him spill inside her at the sudden stimulation. They kissed again a little gentler. A goodbye.
At 16 Yanli had her heartbroken and dreams shattered by a man who did not know her worth.
With the deed done, Yanli gathered the strength to push him away. She looked at his debauched state, and let him look at hers. She gave herself a count of five to burn the face of her first love and her first heartbreak into her memory, then with a swift motion, She walked out the closet, not bothering to do up her robes, nor check for others that might see her in such a state, and right into her room. Her small boobs jiggled as she strode into her room with confidence she didn’t feel. And she turned, she saw a glimpse of him standing at the same spot, looking at her with regret, and shut her door to him.
And she sank to her knees and cried.
Her eyes were red and swollen when her father found her in her room 2 hours after the feast was done, and the newlyweds had already left. She had a cup of tea in her hand, he noted, but if he recognized it as a contraceptive, he didn’t acknowledge it.
Instead, he gave her a nod and sat opposite her.
“The Jin’s will be coming next week to make a formal proposal for a marriage between you and the Jin Zixuan” he said gravely. Looking at her knowingly. When she didn’t respond, he got up to leave. But hesitated at the door. Without turning to her he started speaking. “This will pass Yanli. I wish this hadn’t happened, but now that it has, I hope you emerge strong my child.” and with that, he walked out.
Yanli would have been mortified that her father knew but currently her heart sank as she understood the implications of her father’s first words, and that reality had caught up with her to hold her hostage.