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Not for the first time, Moraine Damodred, novice of the White Tower, cursed her temper. She had been in trouble because of it before, but at the Sun Palace, no one would have dared chastise her. Her nurse might have wept over her, and her governess may have delivered lengthy tirades about being worthy of the name she carried, but no one had ever laid a hand on her. However, at the White Tower, she was a mere novice, a child in name only, for she was eighteen years of age, but a child still in the eyes of the Aes Sedai. She tried to breathe deeply, but her lungs remained starved of air, and wished herself anywhere but in the wide hallway with red and green tiles. She steeled herself to knock on the plain door, lifted her arm, and put it back down quickly. Glancing at herself, she smoothed her white dress and ran a shaky hand through her hair. The words of Elaida Sedai still rang in her head: “You will report to the Mistress of Novices and ask for a sound switching for your impertinence, Moiraine Damodred.” Why, oh why had she let her temper get the best of her? Why had she thought she knew better than an Aes Sedai, a mere month after her arrival in Tar Valon? Why had she continued to argue, even after Elaida Sedai had told her in no uncertain terms to stop? Even Siuan had tried to warn her, with a sharp poke in her back, but she had paid no heed to the warnings.
Moiraine looked at the door again, framed by two bright mural hangings. It was in fact the second time she had been in that position, but the first time, she had been with Siuan and Myrelle, and since their fault had not been too great, they had been spared the rod and only chastised with a long-winded sermon about the Aes Sedai’s expectations for the novice. This time, she was alone. Scolding herself for her lack of courage, she raised her hand and knocked firmly on the door. Once bade to enter, she sank into a curtsey before looking up at Merean Sedai, Mistress of Novices. She threw a fearful glance at the narrow cabinet where the instruments of penance were kept.
“What is it, child?”
In a voice she was both surprised and proud to see was not shaking, Moiraine delivered Elaida Sedai’s message, before bowing her head and biting her lower lip. When she dared looked at the Mistress of Novice, she could read nothing on the Aes Sedai’s face. How she envied their perfect composure… When Merean Sedai spoke, her voice held more disappointment than sharpness. Even in a month, Moiraine had had time to notice she was rarely sharp, preferring to serve as a surrogate mother to the novices. She did, however, have the same ideals of behaviour as her sisters, and never hesitated to correct, scold, or administer a penance. This time, the scolding was short. Merean Sedai merely reminded Moraine that she had been told to rein in her temper before, adding that she was too bright to give in to tantrums. Already not proud of having lashed at Eleida Sedai, Moraine now felt about three feet tall. When Merean Sedai got up and went to the cabinet, she swallowed an audible gulp. She could not keep her eyes away from the switch now in the hand of the Aes Sedai, looking at it like a trapped deer looked at a hunter. Merean Sedai ordered her to bend over, her hands on the desk, and she obeyed, ordering to no avail her body to stop shaking. At least she would be spared the indignity of…oh, no, she would not. She felt a hand raising her dress, exposing her shift, and then her bare behind. Moiraine felt her cheeks redden. She was not exactly shy about her body, as she had taken baths with other women before, but the circumstances held a degree of intimacy previously unknown and a shamefulness she could not ignore.
“Do not move from this position until I order you to, Moraine Damodred. Should you do so, I shall not hesitate to add extra strokes to the already severe chastisement Elaida Sedai demands for you. Do not think I shall go easy on you because it is your first time.”
Moraine stiffened. She would be brave. As brave as Siuan, who had come bad after a punishment to her room, and said it was not that bad. After all, the sisters could not use the One Power to punish…So it was just a switch…a very slight branch…there was nothing to fear. The switch swished into the air, and even though Moraine tried not to, she flinched at the sound. And then she felt something hit her skin, but she did not…It took a few seconds for the pain to register. And, then, as the switch descended again and again, she screamed, and sobbed, and sprung up, her hands going to her bottom.
“I told you not to do that, child. I shall have to add extra strokes. Get back into position.” Merean Sedai’s voice was not harsh, and if Moraine had been in a fit state to pay attention, she would have heard the touch of regret. As it was, it took her a few seconds to understand, and to force herself to obey. At the end, she had no breath for screaming anymore, she just wept and hiccupped, spent.
“You can get up now, child. Your penance has been served. Go back to your room, with the Light.”
Eyes filled with still unshed tears, Moiraine fled in the corridors to her room. She wanted to hide. And then she wanted to go away, and never, ever, set her eyes on the White Tower and its inhabitants. When Siuan found her, Moiraine was lying on her front on her bed, her face in her arms, still crying quietly. Siuan felt pity for her. The punishments had not been a shock for her, a fisherman’s daughter, but she could imagine how Moraine felt. She stroke the dark hair of the younger girl, wishing she could Heal her, knowing she did not yet have the skill and that anyway, it was forbidden after a penance. When Moraine turned her red-rimmed dark eyes towards her, Siuan’s heart sank. She wished she had never heard of the White Tower or the Aes Sedai. She wished they could go away together, to the far end of the World, where no one would find them. The big dark eyes were bruised with hurt and incomprehension.
“I’m not as brave as you”, said Moraine quietly.
“Hush now – do not say that. I told you it was easier for me – it was not my first time.”
“Still.”
Moraine tried to roll on her side but had to stifle a groan, and went back to her prone position. Siuan kissed her hair. “Lie still and let me have a look.” Moraine closed her eyes briefly, consenting. Very gently, Siuan lifted Moraine’s dress and her shift. The crimson welts looked angry on Moraine’s ivory skin, and Siuan felt a surge of rage. She drew one of the raised welts with the tip of a finger and Moraine hissed with pain. “Oh, sweetheart. I am sorry. Let me put some ointment on them.” Before she dipped her fingers into the pot, however, she bent her head and kissed the red lines, each of them, very tenderly. Moraine moaned. They were friends, but this act of intimacy, she had not envisaged. What was Siuan doing? Should she…Yes, she should. The soft lips felt so good on her tender skin. Even better than the salve Siuan was now gently massaging into her red bottom. When she’d finished her task, Siuan, laid down beside Moraine, facing her, drying the now almost raw eyes with her thumb.
“It is all over, sweetheart. Next time –“ Moraine groaned. “Next time, for we both know this is not enough to reformed your nature entirely, it will be easier, because it will not be your first time. I promise.” Moraine murmured something almost unintelligible. “Sweetheart?”
“May I…may I…”
Moiraine did not finish her sentence, only pressed her lips on Siuan’s, who took Moraine’s face in her hands and deepened the kiss. They laid there until dinner time, comforting and kissing each other, weaving a pattern they would belong to for eternity.