Chapter Text
Staten Island Home - Fancy Room
Guillermo and Nandor sit side by side on the long red couch in the fancy room. Nandor's hand is resting languidly on Guillermo's knee. They are both smiling excitedly.
"So," says Guillermo, leaning forward slightly in his seat, "Nandor and I have an announcement to make."
"We are engaged to be wed!" Nandor beams.
"Mi amor, I wanted to say it."
"Oh, sorry Guillermo."
Guillermo presses a kiss to the corner of Nandor's mouth. "It's fine," he says. They share another, more private smile before both turn back towards the camera in unison.
There is a muffled voice coming from behind the cameras and Guillermo cocks his head as he considers what it said.
"Hm? Oh, yes, I know it's only been a month since, well…"
The camera zooms in on a blustery street in London. It's almost pitch black save for the flickering streetlights peppering the sides. There aren't many people out and about, but the few that are all stand and stare at the two men in the center of the road who are shouting at each other so loudly it echoes between the buildings a little. Nandor is very obviously crying, and Guillermo looks like he is about to.
"And how am I supposed to know that you won't try to abandon me for real one day!"
"I won't! Why the fuck would I do that!"
"Why the fuck wouldn't you!"
"Dios mio, BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING-"
Nandor grabs Guillermo by the shoulders very suddenly. It's hard to make out through the snow, but it looks like he is mouthing something to Guillermo, though it is too soft for the microphones to pick up from a distance. Guillermo nods back at him jerkily. They stare at each other for a long moment, then Nandor tackles Guillermo to the ground as their lips meet in a searing kiss.
The footage cuts back to the present. Guillermo's cheeks are pink as he presumably recalls the aforementioned incident.
"Since, well, that." he finishes. "But when you know, you know, I guess?"
Nandor looks very pleased with himself. "Well said, my dear."
There is another cut to what looks to be a smithing room. Nandor is standing in the centre of it, a visor over his head as he bangs a hammer against an anvil repeatedly, sparks flying every which way and slightly singing the very ornate clothes he is wearing. After a few more strikes he lifts the visor and smugly presents a very wonky looking blade to the camera.
"A gift fit for a warrior," he says, swinging it around experimentally. His movements are deft and obviously well-practiced, but the blade clatters to the floor anyway and he frowns at it, looking a little disheartened. "Well, perhaps it can be a purely ornamental sword." he amends, grimacing when a small piece of it chips off the end.
Guillermo and Nandor are in a snowy park in Staten Island. Guillermo is rambling on about nothing in particular, swinging Nandor's hand in his as they stroll. Nandor looks nervous. He is fidgeting with something in his free hand behind his back, concealed under his cloak. He turns to Guillermo abruptly and drops to one knee. Guillermo's mouth falls open in shock.
"Guillermo de la Cruz," drones Nandor, in what is clearly a pre-practiced speech, "you are the most fearsome warrior I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I have seen thousands laid dead at your feet by your deadly hands. To watch you in battle is an exquisite thrill I have not felt in centuries," He whips the wonky sword out with a flourish and balances it across both his palms. It now has a leather hilt, intricately embroidered in glittering red thread. "and though I feel I am not worthy, I would be so honoured if you saw fit to be with me for the rest of eternity as my Vampire Groom."
Guillermo has both his hands over his mouth. There are tears streaming down his cheeks as he lets out a maniacal laugh and hoists Nandor up by the waist to spin him around in the air.
"I love you," he says, "I love you, I love you, I love you." He gives Nandor a final spin that is punctuated with a kiss on the lips and sets him down onto the concrete pavement once more. Nandor looks at him with such wonder and adoration, his hands trembling around the vice grip he has on the sword clutched between them.
"Is that a yes?" says Nandor breathlessly. Guillermo laughs again and bends down to plant another kiss on Nandor's mouth from where he is crouching bow-legged on the ground. He takes the sword from Nandor's hands gently and says, "It's a yes."
Present Nandor grins toothily at the camera. "And anyway," he says, lacing his fingers with Guillermo's, "I figured, it's already been 12 years, so why wait any longer?" Guillermo sighs happily and leans his head against Nandor's shoulder.
"I couldn't agree more."
Staten Island Home - Nadja and Laszlo's Room
Nadja and Laszlo sit primly next to each other in matching outfits. They appear bored, though there's a fondness in their eyes that belies their aloof exteriors.
"Oh, yes, we've heard about the union of those two little melakas," sniffs Nadja. "Personally, I think Guillermo is too good for that shit-for-brains, but whatever makes the boy happy, I suppose." Laslo smiles at his wife and pets her arm affectionately.
"My good lady wife has taken quite the shine to ol' Gizmo as of late," he tells the cameras conspiratorially.
Nadja fixes him with a withered glare. "Well, it is quite easy to bond with someone when you share a common enemy."
Laszlo ducks his head sheepishly. "Ahem, duly noted."
There is a rustling behind the camera all of a sudden, and a panicked look crosses Laszlo's face as a small child of about 10 toddles into view. He wears black rectangular glasses and a starchy beige sweater vest. He is completely bald.
"Dad," says the child, "were you going to do a talking head without me?" Laszlo gives him his best placating smile as he hoists the young boy onto his lap.
"No, of course not, Colin!" he says, "I, er, must have forgotten to call you in-"
"Okay, good, because I've been wanting to tell the camera people about my new roblox server-"
The camera view jiggles wildly as the camera tumbles to the floor. The last thing the viewer sees is Nadja pinching the bridge of her nose with two very carefully manicured talons before the screen fades to static.