Work Text:
DING!
“You are coming tonight, right?”
A message suddenly appeared on Akaashi’s phone. It’s from shirofuku.
“Don’t say that you are working late again, Akaashi. I have already reminded you since last month! You promised”
Type-type-type. I am five minute away. Don’t worry! Akaashi sent the message and put the phone back to his long coat. A couple of high school students who were still wearing their school uniform caught his attention. High school, right? Place where you experienced youth firsthand. And romance. Akaashi can’t hide his smile when the thought comes to hit him. Is that guy gonna come to the party as well? He is quite busy since the next season is coming in two months but who knows.
It's been nine or even ten years since Akaashi graduated from Fukurodani. It’s been so long and to be honest, Akaashi is quite nervous to meet everyone again. He does have a nice relationship with his team mate but after all this time, his team mate might turn into a different person and Akaashi is not sure what’s gonna happen when they meet.
What’s done, is done, he said to himself. He already promised to the girl that he will come. Shirofuku must have had trouble arranging the banquet by himself. Is she still dating Konoha-san? Akaashi is not a gossipy type but he is kinda curious.
Train stop and Akaashi fasten his step to the izakaya near the station, the one that Shirofuku booked. The izakaya is nice and can hold many people at once. The beer is also nice. Shirofuku knows Akaashi likes to drink and she mentioned it as bait for him to come.
“I specially arranged it near your place so you must come at any cost. You never come and we missed you, Akaashi '' she said on the phone last month.
It's not like Akaashi avoiding the party or else, it's because he is stuck on his job at this kind of time. Name checking, special corner, printing and popularity check, Akaashi’s hand full of work. Being editor on weekly shonen manga is like tip-toeing in hell every day but as a workaholic himself, he loves that routine. It's on his DNA and everyone knows how obsessed and diligent Akaashi is when it's coming for work. Like, even when they are in high school, Akaashi always come first every morning and leave last on their practice.
He arrived at izakaya shortly and people welcomed him excitedly, even Sarukui shed a tear dramatically because that’s the first time he actually met Akaashi after he graduated. The nervousness that surrounded Akaashi before now disappears because everyone stays the same. Komi with his silver tongue, Konoha with his dark joke, Sarukui still spitting random funny facts, and Shirofuku still complaining about her dry hair. Washio still matures like he always does but Onaga is no longer timid. He already speaks with confidence even though he is still getting emmbarash when Suzumeda and Anahori teased him. The atmosphere brings Akaashi to reminism their time after practice. The only things missed is –
“HEY HEY HEY!”
-is that energetic and loud voice who suddenly appears and makes the party more festive.
Akaashi shifted his eyes from the bean that he keep peeling for Suzumeda to the last guess on their party. It is their captain, Bokuto Koutaro. He is still dashing, shining and enigmatic like he always do. Akaashi’s heart squeeze a little bit when the man thrown a warm smile to him. If Akaashi should pick what difference from Bokuto is the way he talked and conduct himself. He became more mature and calm. No more rushing while talking and fighting with Suzumeda over the bean that Akaashi peeled. They are sharing it together. He knows if Bokuto hears his thoughts, the latter will think how rude Akaashi remarks are but hey, this version of Bokuto kinda makes Akaashi nervous for a specific reason.
“I don’t know you’ll come,Bokuto-san” Akaashi said when he passed Bokuto’s beer to the man. Bokuto chugged it down before saying that he always come to Fukurodani reunion. Shirofuku who heard their conversation butting in and said that Akaashi is one and only person who keeps missing their party.
“I am so sorry, '' he said sincerely. He felt bad after knowing that fact but everyone said that was okay. The fact that he can make it to the reunion today already makes everyone happy.
The party going smoothly and fun. Everyone talking and sharing about their current life and mostly laughing about their high school memories. Onaga said that he thought Fukurodani training regime is crazy but when he joined the pro-league, the training became ten times harder. Washio laughed and shared the time when he joined the EJP training session for the first time. Washio, “ i throw up twice that day. I feel so bad that I thought about quitting the team. EJP might be to hard for me. I thought i am so week but after i saw everyone also throw up, sorry but i regained my confidence back, hahaha”
They keep talking and laughing that night until someone suggests they play truth or dare drinking game and the atmosphere suddenly goes chaos, especially when Konoha asks Bokuto when exactly he is falling in love for the first time and the man answers it with second grade in high school. Shirofuku held her scream, Komi yell and said that he know it and if Akaashi not mistaken, he saw Washio biting his inner cheek trying hard to not smile. Akaashi’s trying so hard to remain calm and unbothered. No, it doesn’t mean anything, he warn him self. Bokuto’s not talking about him. He meet so much people and Akaashi just one from a million. Calm down Akaashi, you are not in high school anymore. You are adult and over frompinning that certain senior, aren’t you?
Akaashi scolds himself and takes a long deep breath to calm his fastened heartbeat but everything becomes useless when Bokuto loses again and Shirofuku blows a more specific question that makes everyone hold their breath. Anticipate Bokuto’s answer because that man love live is really intriguing if Akaashi must said because he, himself who spend his time a long side Bokuto everyday still cannot putting finger on who’s Bokuto’s first love- or he doesn’t want to. The question that make everyone hold their breath is asked by Anahori.
“Senpai, is your first love here now?”
Bokuto puts on an embarash smile and asks why they are so curious about that.
“Just answer it! Hurry up! Don't edge me like this, Bokuto! I have a weak heart”
“If you don’t want to answer, drink it but we assume that they are here, hahaha”
“No, answer it. Be a man and answer it! It's already in the past just answer it”
The man in question laugh again and tilt his head to the left. Akaashi who keep watching him in silent now meet his eyes for the first time that day. The man doesn’t break their gaze and Akaashi unconsciously holds the glass holder tighter. There’s something unspeakable feeling when his iris met the golden one.
“Yes, he is here” Bokuto said and Komi swore loudly.
While everyone excitedly teases Bokuto and guesses who the man is because Bokuto clearly said ‘he’, Akaashi is the only one who keeps silent and stiffly sits in his place. Rather then feel uncomfortable, he is more scared because-
“It’s Akaashi, right”, Washio suddenly threw a direct question when Bokuto lost again. Before Bokuto could answer, Akaashi already took the glass and emptied the beer at once. It happens so fast that make everyone speechless. Bokuto said that he doesn’t need to answer that because the ‘dare’ beer already gone. Bokuto suggests they change the game into an Ousama game saying that truth or dare are a little boring since he keeps losing. Everyone going along and left awkward that situation alone. Without everyone noticing, Bokuto touches Akaashi’s leg secretly. It is as if he said that everything is okay and to be honest, its calm Akaashi down.
There is a reason why Akaashi scared with the situation and Bokuto’s answer. The feelings that he buried for the man now are crawling back. They were so close and Akaashi fell for the man quietly and one-sidedly. Bokuto is like sunshine for Akaashi and the fact that he admires him from the first sight doesn’t help the situation. The younger falls hard and deeply. He is longing for the man while keeping it secret and subtle.
But you know how Bokuto behave, right? The man is so direct and honest. He never cares about what people think and just blast his own way to the goal, including to Akaashi’s heart that has already been on his hand since day one- or that is what Akaashi’s thought.
But the more closer they are, the more intimate moment they shared. People start asking if they are dating each other or not and that's where Akaashi starts to become aware of his surroundings. Bokuto is their star player and he’ll have a great career in future. Akaashi thought that the man doesn't need a nasty scandal over him, who is also a man.
No more standing closely with him. No more holding hand publicly because people might assume they are dating. Even though his heart burning for the man entirely, he must pushed away the sun. Akaashi could turn a blind eye when people gossiping and saying he is gross but he can’t bare that when it comes to Bokuto. He love the man truly and don’t want he got hurt because of him. His fear became more valid when both of them almost kissed each other one afternoon at Bokuto’s bedroom.
Seriously, it start with innocent idea to stay late and arrange the team paper material together. They sit side by side. The orange tint from afternoon sun coloring the scene and spring breeze slip in through the opened window. Shoulder brushing each other. Eyes watching closely. Akaashi’s laughing over Bokuto’s joke and the man stop writing and choose to stare at Akaashi. There is a silent moment between them before Akaashi ask Bokuto to continue working on paper. Bokuto traced Akaashi’s side lips and stop when his fingers arrived to the younger’s back ear. Akaashi turned around. Their eyes meet each other and are lost in the moment. Akaashi gazing Bokuto’s lips before staring back to the man’s eyes. Bokuto move closer. His fingers going down, tracing Akaashi’s jaw and tilting the younger face down. They do not speak any word and just drawn for each other.
When the lips are about to touch each other, a sudden knock on Bokuto’s room hears a loud sound and Akaashi pulls himself as fast as he can. Another knock heard and Akaashi gathered his belongings quickly and ran away before saying goodbye. They were so close. Akaashi remained himself to step away. You’ll hurting him, he scold himself. What if someone saw them? They were about to kissed and Akaashi hate himself for losing toward his desire. After that day, Akaashi’s behavior towards Bokuto are changing even the other man still act the same way.
Akaashi thought that he do a great job to make Bokuto clear from scandal with him but Washio question just bring so much punch to the reality. He drank that beer because he didn't want to know. Bokuto’s answer might make him insane regardless of his answer. If its not, Akaashi would take a paid leave and spend it just to cry his heart. Even if Bokuto said yes, Akaashi would also take a paid leave because he know he can’t work with that enclosure.
Akaashi is full of his own thoughts and doesn’t realize what kind of question Washio asked exactly. Rather than a question it's more like a statement. The tone is different but Akaashi already freak out to notice it. Washio doesn’t even need to ask because he already knows from long ago.
He knows that Bokuto and Akaashi are longing for each other but too afraid to admit it. In fact, everyone already has a hunch about them. Oh no, it's actually the entire Fukurodani who noticed but doesn't know how to act around them. When you saw a couple so passionate into each other but keep denied it, people tend to teased them as a wish for them to be honest with each other. They are filled with frustration because Akaashi keeps defending himself by saying Bokuto is just his team mate and Bokuto said that he adores Akaashi as a junior.
-and the most frustrated one among the entire Fukurodani is Washio Tatsuki.
You know why?
Because Washio saw something that he wished he never saw, it is Bokuto stealing a kiss from the said junior while the man is sleeping.
Washio saw it clearly on their practice session break. Akaashi took a short nap at the gym that day. He sleeps while hugging his knee close to his chest and wearing a towel to cover his head. He remembers that day clearly. He was talking with Shirofuku outside the gym and he saw Bokuto walk into Akaashi and sit beside the man. At first Washio doesn't care for whatever Bokuto’s want to do. They always sit side by side after all so nothing special until-
Until bokuto lift akaashi’s towel and take a quicked move to the junior’s lips.
With HIS LIPS.
NOT ONCE BUT TWICE.
Washio knows it exactly because Bokuto lifts the towel again and kisses the man longer before Akaashi moves a little bit and the owl man rushly runs away from the crime scene.
Akaashi never knew that they already kissed. It’s only Washio who knows and the culprit itself, Bokuto Koutaro. That’s why it's no longer a question but a statement. He doesn’t need an answer. He wants them to be together BECAUSE HE IS TIRED KEEPING A SECRET FOR YEARS. Washio can see that Akaashi and Bokuto still have feelings for each other and damn, it still brings the same frustration for him to watch them around each other.
Just. Kiss. Already. Damn. It.
But Washio could do nothing about it. Their romance is theirs and Washio is forced to respect it. So he just sipped his beer quietly that day while eye screaming to the obvious lover.
Everyone is trying so hard to push away their curiosity. While playing so much game that night. They keep watching Bokuto and Akaashi secretly. Suzumeda noticed how Bokuto still used the same soft tone and gentle voice whenever he talked with Akaashi. The raven one still took care of Bokuto and saw him with the same glance. After all these years, Bokuto and Akaashi were still the same as they were in high school and everyone in that party realized it. They were still into each other but still denied it, especially Akaashi.
Later that night, when the party's over and everyone separate, Bokuto asked Akaashi to walk with him. The younger nod and match their pace on sidepave. They walked without exchanging any word until Bokuto asked how Akaashi’s have been lately. They barely talk for a few years, only reacting to each other's instagram story. Bokuto is not stupid. He can read that Akaashi doesn’t like to be seen. That man starts avoiding him when he is graduating and changes his personal contact. To be honest, he was quite upset but forcing Akaashi just made that man run away. Until one day Akaashi starts following his social media and they start connecting again.
“Aren't you curious with my answer?” Bokuto said and Akaashi stopped walking. Akaashi turns his head and looks at Bokuto shortly before exhaling a deep sigh.
Akaashi looked away, “No, i don’t” he said.
“But i want to tell you”
“Boku-“
“Yes. You are my first love”
“Bokuto-san”
“You are, Akaashi” Bokuto take a step closer. “It will always be you,” said the man clearly. Bokuto staring right into those green eyes.
“I always come to the reunion just to meet you. I don't know how to ask you out because you keep avoiding me. I think, if we meet again, I can despite our distance. And my thoughts are right. We speak again. Walk side by side again even though you keep hiding your hand on your jacket.”
Bokuto clearly saw sadness mixed with uncertainty in Akaashi eyes. He jokes around by leaning into Akaashi which makes the other one lean backward in nervousness.
“What? We used to hold each other's hands right?”
A flash of memory comes to Akaashi’s mind. Yes they used to do that when there’s no people around but it was a long time ago. They do not really understand what was happend back then. Akaashi was ignorant and holding hands felt so special for him back then.
“Bokuto-san, let’s not bring back the past” Akaashi said in response in the end and continued to walk and Bokuto followed him asking ‘Why’.
“We can’t” Akaashi answer it calmly while still leaving Bokuto behind. The older reach the younger arms making Akaashi stop and turn around.
“Because you're still afraid?”
Bokuto cupping Akaashi’s face. You don't have to handle it by yourself Akaashi, he said. “I can protect us. Society is changing and the only things i need is you to believe in me.”
Akaashi have a bad habit. When he cornered, he always offense as defend. A sneered slips from his lips. His expression hardened. Why do you think that I still have feelings for you, Bokuto-san?” He asked coldly. “Don’t assume it by yourself.”
“You don’t? Then why do you keep looking at me like that?” The golden hardened and a glamps of anger flashing on his eyes before changing into sadness.
“Am I not worthy of your honesty, Akaashi? I just want you to be honest with me. Stop hiding your feelings Akaashi. Stop running away from me. I am here. I'm always here.”
“Being with me just brings you to the calamity, Bokuto-san. You know it -”
“No, i don’t know”
“I am not finished! You should listen-“
“No, you are the one who need to listen! The last time I followed your game, you slipped away from me and I don't want that to happen anymore. I’ve waited so many years to meet you again, Akaashi! So tell me... Tell me your feelings. Do you still in love with me?”
Akaashi could feel the way Bokuto’s hand gripped her hand tighter. The man's eyes are full of hope and a tint glass of sadness. After all this time, all the things that he does to protect Bokuto just make both of them suffer. Rather than disappear into thin air, his longing became greater for the other. No matter how hard he tried to forget Bokuto, he always failed. Because his heart is no longer his own since he fell in love with the ace.
“I am!” Akaashi yells with desperation.
“I always loved you!” He said with teary eyes.
“I always love you and it never changes! I am afraid of myself. I am afraid that I might hurt you!”
Bokuto pulled Akaashi into his embrace and kissed the raven cheeks repeatedly. You’ll never hurt me, assured Bokuto. The other man started sobbing and Bokuto kissed him softly on the lips.
“The only thing that could hurt me is if i have to wait another ten years just to hold you and kiss you like this, Akaashi!” He said before kissing the man again that night.