Chapter Text
Kurt followed his father and Carole out of the Principal’s office and into the hallway in a state of numb disbelief. Karofsky was coming back and there was nothing they could do about it. Coach Sylvester’s offer to resign as Principal and to look out for him was all well and good but Kurt didn’t flatter himself that it would make much difference. The Coach was erratic at best and Kurt figured it wouldn’t be long before she either forgot or just plain lost interest in his problem. Aside from that, she couldn’t be everywhere at once anyway.
He sighed as his Dad and Carole turned to face him, both with worried frowns and a touch of anger still in their eyes.
“Well,” he said, “I guess I’ll try and enjoy the rest of the day before the terror starts anew. I’ll see you at home.”
His dad winced slightly and reached out to grasp his hand before Kurt could walk away.
“Kurt, I’m sorry. I really wish that we could do something about this. Carole and I looked at Dalton but we just can’t afford it and with the way the shop is at the moment and all the costs of moving and the wedding, well, it looks like we’ll be delaying the honeymoon too.”
Kurt swallowed heavily as guilt settled in his stomach. He’d had no idea that his Dad and Carole had looked into Dalton, and he’d also had no idea that things hadn’t been so great at the shop after his Dad’s illness. It wasn’t his parents fault that the school board hadn’t upheld Karofsky’s expulsion and it didn’t feel great to be adding to their burdens with his obvious anxiety over something that couldn’t be changed, so he forced a reassuring smile onto his face.
“You know me, Dad,” he said. “If I can be dramatic, I will. It won’t be that bad, I’m sure of it. The school board did give him that warning after all, and Finn and the others will look out for me now as well. I bet that he’ll just stay away from me completely and that’s all I want, really.”
His Dad didn’t look fully convinced but he nodded anyway. “Yeah,” he replied. “But, Kurt, if he so much as looks at you funny, I want you to tell me or Carole, right? No mucking around. You tell us. His father seemed like a reasonable guy at least, so I’m sure we can talk to him if we need to.”
“Of course, Dad,” Kurt assured him. “Look, I better get to Glee, class has already started.”
“Okay, sweetie,” Carole said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “We’ll see you later.”
Kurt could hear Mr. Schue going on about Sectionals the following week even as he approached the door but as he shuffled over to sit by Finn he couldn’t really bring himself to care.
“Dude,” Finn whispered, nudging Kurt with his elbow as Mr. Schue said something about solos. “Where have you been? And why do you look like you did that time I used your Hershey’s scarf to wash my truck? I said I was sorry about that, but it was in the laundry, bro, and I thought it was just a rag.”
“Hermes, Finn,” Kurt corrected automatically. “And I was with Dad and Carole. Karofsky’s not expelled anymore. He’s coming back tomorrow.”
“What the hell?” Finn said so loudly that the whole room fell silent as all eyes turned towards them.
“Finn,” Kurt hissed, but Finn was already up on his feet.
“No, this is not cool,” Finn said, shaking his head. “They can’t do that. What’s Principal Sylvester say?”
“The School Board have already done it,” Kurt said wearily. “And Coach Sylvester isn’t the Principal anymore. Figgins is back tomorrow as well.”
There was silence again as everybody absorbed this news. When Kurt met Mr. Schue’s eyes he could tell that the teacher had already known about it. He gave Kurt a reassuring smile and Kurt couldn’t help thinking with bitterness that the smile was about as ineffectual as everything else about Mr. Schue. Then he told himself that he was being unfair – Mr. Schue meant well… and he did try at least.
“Okay, then,” it was Sam who spoke up first in an emphatic voice. “We’ll protect you.”
“Yeah,” Finn agreed, and then Kurt got the shock of his life when he heard Noah Puckerman agreeing as well.
“Yeah, dude, we’ll be like your secret service or something.”
He twisted in his seat to stare up at where Puck was sitting and the smile he got was completely genuine. Then as he looked around the room at the others he saw the same expressions of support and friendship and something warm bloomed in his heart.
Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
He was still holding onto that feeling when he talked to Blaine that night and even when he walked into McKinley the next morning, flanked by Finn and Mike.
It didn’t waver until he finally saw Karofsky approaching them along the hallway. Karofsky’s steps didn’t falter. Kurt’s mouth went dry with anxiety but Karofsky didn’t even look at him as he walked by and the relief Kurt felt almost made him feel faint.
“Looks like he’s just going to ignore you,” Mike said quietly. “And that is a very good thing.”
Kurt nodded his head in fervent agreement.
“I dunno,” Finn said, turning to watch Karofsky’s departure. “I kinda wanted an excuse to punch him in the head.”
“Finn,” Kurt said wryly. “That’s exactly what we need right now. You getting expelled instead of him.”
“Yeah, I know,” Finn said, winking at Mike. “I guess I’ll just have to wait until football practice.”
“God, you’re just as bad as Puck,” Kurt muttered as Mike laughed. He suspected that Finn was joking… or at least he really hoped so.
He only saw Karofsky twice more during the next couple of days, once when he was with Finn and Puck, and once when he was with Mike and Sam. Both times Karofsky completely ignored all of them.
Slowly, Kurt started to relax. At first he was a little worried that the boys might decide that they all had nothing to worry about and that they needn’t bother sticking by Kurt’s side in the hallways anymore, and he wondered if that was what Karofsky was waiting for. But the guys must have been thinking the same thing because they showed no signs of losing interest in being his protection squad and the girls were just as adamant about filling in the gaps when needed. It was a huge relief to Kurt, more than he could ever bring himself to show them, but he could, and did, show them how appreciative he was. He’d never baked so many cookies in his life… but he did it with a hopeful heart.
And then, on Wednesday afternoon in Math class, he got a strange text from an unknown number.
‘Are you missing me? Because I think I’m missing you.’
Kurt frowned at his phone, glanced up at the teacher who seemed as oblivious as she usually was to the fact that there were students in the room, and then quickly typed a reply.
‘What? Who is this?’
‘You know who it is.’
Kurt stared at the words with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Because, yeah, he pretty much did know who it was and the actual content of the message was even more disturbing than the fact that Karofsky was contacting him. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He could handle this.
‘How did you get this number?’
‘Your new brother leaves his phone around the locker room all the time.’
And that certainly sounded like Finn, Kurt thought with a grimace. But still, that didn’t make the problem go away and Kurt stared at his phone, perplexed and unable to think of anything except the words ‘just leave me alone’. Whilst he was doing that another message came through.
‘The locker room. I think about it a lot.’
Kurt couldn’t contain his little gasp, and he cast a quick glance around the room, hoping that no one had noticed. When he found Mercedes looking at him, he gave her a quick smile and shrugged. Eventually she looked away and Kurt stared at his phone again.
‘I don’t care,’ he typed. ‘Leave me alone.’
‘Now don’t be like that. Maybe I want to apologize.’
Kurt frowned at his phone. ‘Do you?’
Almost as soon as he sent it he regretted it. It sounded weak, like he wanted Karofsky to apologize, like he needed it, but instead all he really wanted was for Karofsky to just leave him alone.
‘Meet me in the locker room and find out.’
And crap, was Karofsky flirting with him? The thought made Kurt feel a little sick and a lot uneasy.
He had to shut this down now.
‘No. Leave me alone. If you don’t, I’ll show these texts to the school board.’
‘That won’t prove anything. What makes you think I’m sending them from my own phone? But, yeah, I know you think I’m stupid.’
And the weird thing about that, Kurt thought, was that he didn’t really think Karofsky was stupid, not anymore, but he did think he might be dangerous.
‘You won’t be able to prove who this is. Nobody will believe you.’
Kurt stared at that last message his heart thumping in his chest. It struck a chord, because that was always the crux of the whole thing, wasn’t it? Would anyone believe him? Coach Sylvester had, his closest friends did, but Kurt knew that it would be all too easy for Karofsky to turn Kurt into the villain and that most of the school would believe Karofsky, would be on his side. Including the school board. They finally had a successful football team and Karofsky was part of that. Whilst Kurt was the weird gay kid. Who sang in the dumb Glee club.
‘Leave me alone,’ he finally typed back. ‘I’m not answering you anymore.’
‘Okay. See you around, fancy.’
Kurt blinked in confusion. The swift capitulation only made him more uneasy, as did the promise of ‘see you around’. It felt like he was sinking back into the nightmare, once again alone, and it was even worse after the brief reprieve he’d had in the last few days.
He should tell someone about this. Shouldn’t he? But who? Finn? His Dad and Carole? Or the other guys? He had the texts but again all he could hear in his head was ‘nobody will believe you’. They’d go through the whole round of putting in a complaint, only to have it ignored yet again. If Coach Sylvester hadn’t been able to get the complaint to stick there was no chance that Figgins would. He wouldn’t even try. There’d be more rumours, more trouble. Eventually the others might even feel like it was too much trouble to be involved in the whole thing and they’d stop helping him.
Class ended and Kurt left the room in a daze, practically ignoring Mercedes until she grabbed his arm and demanded to know what was wrong with him.
“Just a headache,” he mumbled, and she nodded in sympathy and walked with him to his car.
He got in and drove. He had a vague feeling that he was supposed to wait for Finn, but his mind was too full to really pay attention and he got home without really being aware of how he got there.
He went up to his new room. He still wasn’t used to it, but he was already beginning to love it. The decorations he’d chosen were all so much warmer, but at this moment, he sort of longed for the cold, elegant perfection of his old basement room.
And really, he thought suddenly, dropping his bag on the floor and slumping on the bed, he had to snap out of this fugue and decide what to do. It didn’t seem like Karofsky was just going to go away and Kurt couldn’t even figure out what it was that Karofsky wanted. Did he want to scare Kurt? Or flirt with him? Was he still a rabid closet-case or were the weird, vaguely threatening (nobody will believe you) messages he’d sent been a signal that he was trying to come out.
It was all too difficult… and why did it have to be Kurt’s problem, he wondered. Well, it wasn’t going to be his problem. It was only text messages. As long as Karofsky actually physically stayed away from him, Kurt decided he could cope.
He was in Math class again when he got the next message.
‘We need to talk.’
Kurt ignored it, but when the same message came a few seconds later, and then yet again, he rolled his eyes and tapped out a reply.
‘No. We don’t.’
‘Meet me in the astronomy room after class.’
Kurt snorted softly at the message but he couldn’t deny that the sour feeling in his stomach was anxiety. He didn’t answer.
‘Come on, fancy. Don’t be like that. I just want to talk to you. Alone, so leave your little band of guards out of it.’
Kurt stared at his phone in disbelief.
‘You really think I’m going to be alone with you? Leave. Me. Alone.’
‘Come on, it won’t be for long. I have practice after. Just need to tell you something.’
‘Tell me on the phone. Right now.’
He wanted to take back the text as soon as he’d sent it… because it meant he’d opened a dialogue with Karofsky. He’d made it look like he wanted to know what Karofsky had to say and he had a feeling that Karofsky would jump all over it.
“Can’t on phone. Have to give you something. Look, I won’t hurt you. Promise. Just need to talk to you. I’ll be waiting in the astronomy room.’
Kurt chewed on his bottom lip, reading the message over and over. He couldn’t do this, he thought, meeting up with Karofsky would be a crazy thing to do, no matter how curious he might be… and he had to admit that he was starting to get curious.
Ten minutes went by and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief but then, just before class ended, he got another text. It was one word.
‘Please.’
Kurt’s eyebrow shot up at the word ‘please’. He hadn’t been sure that Karofsky even knew such a word existed. His curiosity was growing… and also a fair bit of hope. Hope that Karofsky might actually want to apologize and this whole thing would be over. He wished he had time to consult Blaine, but he had a feeling that Blaine would probably tell him to give Karofsky one last chance.
Kurt made a snap decision and hoped fervently that he wouldn’t regret it later. He sent a quick text to the others to say that he’d got out of class early and had already left the school. He lingered for a few moments in the Maths room, and then sped through the practically empty hallways to the astronomy room before he could think too much about what he was doing.
He darted through the door, looking around to see if Karofsky was there, but when he heard the door shut behind him he spun on his heel to find Karofsky leaning against the closed door with his arms crossed over his chest. There was a strange and discomforting smirk on his face.
Kurt swallowed heavily and his regret was already rising. He couldn’t believe how thoroughly stupid he’d been.
“I think I should go,” he said, wincing at how choked and scared he sounded, as Karofsky took a step towards him.
“I said I won’t hurt you,” Karofsky said in a soft, flat voice.
Kurt backed up in the room, found himself against the chalkboard and tried to look nonchalant as he leaned against it, not caring if he was getting chalk dust all over the back of his sweater.
“Well, say what you wanted to say,” he said, thankful that he didn’t sound as if he was drowning this time.
There were a few moments of tense silence whilst Karofsky glared at him and Kurt tried not to think about how the school was probably empty by now except for the football team… who were in the locker rooms all the way over the other side of the building.
“You’ll miss practice,” Kurt finally prompted nervously, and then jumped slightly as Karofsky let out an explosive breath of frustration.
“I need your help,” he said, with a tightly clenched jaw. “You don’t know what this is like.”
Kurt cleared his throat a little, trying to think what he could possibly say, especially when Karofsky was now pacing the room and looking a little frantic.
“Actually, I do,” he finally said, and when Karofsky shot him a surprised look, he pointed a finger at himself. “Gay, remember? Just because I’m out doesn’t mean it was easy to accept. And I still had to tell my dad. And I go to this school, which is not the most gay-friendly place in Lima, as you well know. Believe me, if I wasn’t kind of easy to pick, I’d probably have stayed in the closet too.” He wasn’t entirely sure that was true but it couldn’t hurt to give Karofsky a little reassurance.
“I don’t give a fuck about closets,” Karofsky said impatiently. “I’m not even sure I’m gay. The problem is you.”
Some sort of minor alarm bell went off in Kurt’s head but he steadily ignored it and gave Karofsky a questioning look.
“Me,” he said, flatly, and not without resentment.
“I think about it all the time. I can’t get it out of my head.”
Karofsky’s pacing had brought him closer and even as he gazed at the other boy in confusion Kurt couldn’t help anxiously wishing that he wasn’t trapped against the chalkboard. He seemed to have the worst survival instincts of anyone he knew and his dad would probably be furious if he ever found out.
“Can’t get what out of your head?” he asked, faintly.
“That kiss,” Karofsky replied, with his own level of resentment loud and clear. “Kissing you.”
The alarm bell was now major and could no longer be ignored. Kurt stared at Karofsky blankly.
“I need to get it out of my system,” Karofsky said quietly, taking a step closer and Kurt flung out a hand of protest.
“Whoa, back off,” he said, both surprised and proud that he sounded so firm. “What you need to do is talk to someone. A professional. Someone who can help you with what you’re feeling. It’s got nothing to do with me, you need to understand that.”
Karofsky shook his head. “This is everything to do with you,” he said, still in that quiet voice. “This is your fault, so you owe me. I need to get this whole thing out of my system.
Something very unpleasant was now squirming in Kurt’s stomach and his heart was starting to pound in his chest. Karofsky took another step forward and Kurt began to sidle along the chalkboard in an effort to get to the door. He didn’t get far because suddenly Karofsky’s big hand landed next to his head, blocking his path.
“Look… um… David,” Kurt said, trying to keep his voice calm. “This is a common mistake. You have to realize that you’ve kind of fixated on me because I’m the out gay kid. I can’t help you. Whatever you’re thinking right now isn’t going to help you… you need to get proper help. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you could start with Miss Pillsbury, she could at least refer you to someone. Or an lgbt group. I could find one for you and-“
“Will you shut up?” Karofsky interrupted, shaking his head. “You talk way too fucking much, you know. Just one kiss. That’s all I need.”
Kurt’s breath caught in his throat in pure panic. There was something implacable about Karofsky’s single-minded expression as he looked at Kurt… and Kurt knew that he didn’t have a chance if it came down to a physical fight.
“But I don’t want to kiss you,” he said as calmly as he could. “And you promised that you wouldn’t hurt me.”
For a moment Karofsky looked confused and maybe even a little hurt, but then his expression cleared into some sort of resolve. He was close enough now that Kurt could hear the hitch in his breathing and see his darkened eyes, the flush in his skin. Kurt had never had a boyfriend but he had some idea of what those signs meant. Karofsky might have fixated on him as a way to deal with what he was going through, a way to have someone else to blame, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t feel some sort of arousal, and the idea of it froze Kurt completely.
Before he could manage to unfreeze himself, Karofsky leaned in and it was only at the last moment that Kurt was at least able to turn his head away.
Karofsky’s lips landed on his throat, and then slid down lower. Kurt could feel his tongue and his teeth working and knew that it would mark. It didn’t feel completely unpleasant, but the knowledge that it was Karofsky doing it made him shudder with something close to revulsion. Karofsky obviously noticed and misunderstood the shiver because he suddenly moaned softly, and his mouth sucked harder. But it wasn’t until his large hands landed on Kurt’s hips and gripped hard that Kurt was finally able to move.
“Get off me,” he snarled, shoving Karofsky as hard as he could, and then as Karofsky, taken by surprise, stumbled back, Kurt quickly picked up his previously discarded bag, and ran… and ran… and ran.
Kurt shot upright with a gasp and looked wildly around the room. Everything was comforting and familiar with the late afternoon sun streaming through the curtains.
He could hear someone stomping up the stairs and he wasn’t surprised when he heard Finn’s voice.
“Thanks for forgetting about me, Kurt,” he called through Kurt’s closed door. “I had to get a lift with Brittany and I still can’t figure out what she was talking about the entire time. I hate that.”
“Uh… sorry, Finn,” Kurt managed to choke out, struggling to take some deep breaths.
He heard Finn’s door shut and he slumped back onto the bed. It had been a dream. A disturbing and horrible dream… and thank god he hadn’t actually been really that stupid as to go off and meet Karofsky on his own.
But he’d had these nasty dreams before, and it meant that, once again, Karofsky was getting to him. And he hated that.
Hell, he needed to talk to someone, and there was only one person who would really understand what was going on.
Kurt got up, went over to his desk, opened his laptop and dialled up Blaine on Skype.