Work Text:
Two years ago, Geto Suguru, a third-year jujutsu college student, caused a slaughter and became a jujutsu sorcerers' enemy, he earned the title of curser user, still with his previous special rank.
Only a few received the "special" title, the only other who had received this description was Gojo Satoru, the elected, the strongest sorcerer, a designation that was made official after his graduation from jujutsu college a year ago, but for the young adult, those things didn't matter, that title seemed more like a curse, after all, he was assigned to execute the most powerful curse user of that era, after all, Gojo was the only one strong enough for this task.
Gojo could complete his mission without any problem, literally with a snap of his fingers and his enemies would have been vanished without a trace, but this mission was the only task he could not accomplish, as his heart prevented him from doing so.
It was no secret that Geto and Gojo had a close relationship, both calling themselves the strongest pair, in which nothing and no one could stop them. It was them against the world, that was something they always said, especially Satoru in his immense arrogance.
Their relationship was much more than mere friendship, they also couldn't say it was simply love, it was more complex and more complete than all that, they had no one else who could understand them, there was no one else they would trust their own lives if not in each other's hands.
It was not uncommon to witness their passion, behind the school walls, the couple were making out or simply exchanging caresses, but it was also not uncommon to see them fervently arguing, their opinions diverging from the jujutsu society and the humans they were supposed to protect, Gojo on the one hand with his inability to understand the need to hide the truth about the curses of the humans who created them and Geto on the other with his heroic mentality of protecting the weakest. Another point at which the couple fell apart was in relation to the rules imposed by the higher-up, Gojo never liked the rules, he always questioned them, despite that, he always followed the them, Geto on the other hand, he never questioned them, but sometimes he didn't fulfilled it.
As stated before, their relationship was never a secret and all higher-up hated that relationship, so when they saw that something between the couple had changed after the failed mission with Master Tengen's receptacle, they began to explore this breach for a year the superiors plotted against the couple, slowly separating them with solo missions, with the excuses that they were too powerful, so they didn't need anyone's company, besides the higher-up always said they were short of resources, in other words, without sorcerers to perform the work.
These things happened so subtly that even the couple's friends didn't realize what was going on, so no one could alert them to the risk their relationship was taking.
The superiors' plan was going perfectly, as Gojo and Geto began to argue more and more each day, so for these corrupt old men, everything was fine, they managed to control the two most powerful sorcerers in the palm of their hands. What they did not expect was that the young black-haired sorcerer would turn against them, that was not Suguru's nature, the higher-ups did not realize that since the mission that resulted in the death of the receptacle, the heroic vision of the sorcerers had been shattered from Suguru's mind, Yu Haibara's death only worsened his relationship with his superiors, the excuse for the student's premature death was that they had misjudged, a simple miscalculation, the higher-ups haven't correctly analyzed the power of the curse that the newbies of the second year were facing. For superiors, the death of a student was just a statistical error, plus a number that could be replaced with the arrival of the next students.
So on his last solo mission for jujutsu college, the third-year student just couldn't take it anymore, when he witnessed the cruelty of humanity, seeing that humans were torturing two little girls who had the skills to be shamans. That moment was like an awakening to his new reality, he realized that his work was worthless, as the superiors were only there to keep their power, sacrificing the lives of several sorcerers and students, as those humans were the cause of all the misfortune in his life and that of all sorcerers he knew. So in his moment of epiphany, he executed everyone in the village.
Geto thought of Gojo as he saw the blood of his own parents, who were killed by the curses he controlled. Suguru thought that he still loved Gojo, but that feeling was nothing close to the hatred he felt for humanity, the hatred he felt for everyone who ran the jujutsu society, so he thought that love was just something overrated.
----
Two years ago, Geto was classified as a curse user by murdering an entire village and also killing his own parents, at that time, he was free to do as he pleased, gaining strength and notoriety in the jujutsu underworld and curiously also in human society , because he was seen as messiah, a monk capable of giving relief to the lives of those who seemed to be carrying some unexplained illness, which was nothing more than curses that human beings themselves created and carried.
Suguru kept himself so busy that he didn't think much about his ex, the last time they saw each other, Gojo asked for an explanation for his choices and Geto replied, not really caring what Gojo thought about it, after all, he knew Satoru loved him too much to be able to kill him, he took advantage of that feeling to continue his plans, Geto even said that it was okay if Gojo decided to kill him, after all, that act would also have some meaning.
Gojo then found himself alone, abandoned, with an impossible mission to complete. Two years and he couldn't forget, couldn't move on, he didn't know how to get over the absence of someone so important in his life, it was worse because he knew his loved one was alive and well somewhere, but his lover wouldn't even care about Satoru, he was sure that Suguru left his feelings or the complicity relationship they had. The albino sorcerer couldn't face this problem as if he were in mourning, he just didn't know what to do.
How to mourn someone who is still alive? - Gojo thought that every day.
Since Suguru left him, Gojo was never the same, his soul was still bleeding from the loss of the person he trusted and loved the most, this feeling was limitless, an infinite feeling that went beyond reason, as well as his technique, his feelings were a paradox.
After graduation, Gojo became an assistant professor, he was responsible for accompanying the first and second year students on missions, because of that, the deaths among the students decreased significantly, reaching zero.
This interaction with young people made Gojo have a fraction of what he could never live in his time, even at a very young age, he couldn't live a typical adolescence, the truth is that he could never live anything typical. Because of that, it was common to see him in the middle of the teenagers' circle, making small talk, listening to music, playing, teenage things, that's how he heard the music that would haunt him for a long time.
The song was called "The one that got away", it was a sad song, about the first love, Katy perry is a fantastic singer, but this song was Gojo's worst nightmare, it felt like a curse that haunted him, the students kept singing , the radios always replaying the song, there was no peace for the sorcerer.
The music itself was good, the problem was that Gojo related too much with it, the way the couple in the music were described as an unbeatable duo, being them against the world, young and careless.
The chorus was a memory that haunted him, a craving that could never be sated.
"In another life, I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away"
Just like the girl in the song, Gojo was left behind, he was the one who would ask his lover to stay, to fight the world together. Despite this, Satoru didn't feel betrayed, his heart couldn't blame his lover for these choices, even more when thinking about how young they were when they started dating. They were too young, Gojo was too immature to realize what was going on.
"I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown, singing the blues
It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse"
The continuation of the song didn't help, after all, it was as if it showed their current situation, the way Satoru felt, the silent pact that Satoru would not kill Suguru, how the albino missed the other sorcerer, even though he knew that Geto no longer cared about him, knowing that the other moved on with his life, chose another path to complete his destiny. Gojo knew he needed to move on, "remove the tattoo" as like in the song.
How I wanted to remove this love as easy as removing a tattoo. - Gojo thought every time he heard the music.
Satoru blamed himself for the end of their relationship and also for his ex's choices, listening to the song didn't help, because the more he listened to those cursed lyrics, the more regrets were added on his shoulders.
"All this money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should have told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price"
Oh, how much Satoru would desire for a time machine, he would trade his entire fortune just to be able to go back in time and convince his lover to stay.
Gojo no longer remembers how many times he has heard this song, he only knows that it chases him, even when he was silent, his brain betrays him, the melody is embedded in his mind, like a worm that consumes his insides little by little.
It was then that Satoru allowed himself to get lost, he made the decision to lose himself in the comfort of a hot drink, the alcohol burning down his throat, clouding his mind, until he found himself in the situation of laying down at the dorm door, wasted, crying desperately, disoriented by that damn infinite loop music playing on his cell phone. Gojo was so inebriated that he couldn't even control his powers, the truth was, he could barely see anything that was in front of him. Satoru laughed at the irony of having the best vision ever, but for the moment it didn't mean anything. He's never been in such a vulnerable position, anyone there could finish what Toji nearly accomplished three years ago, honestly, at this point, Gojo wouldn't mind, maybe even thank his would-be assassin for freeing him from his miserable life.
Satoru did not notice that someone had approached, he could not even identify the good soul who was willing to help him in this deplorable situation, Gojo felt strong arms holding him around the waist, in a clumsy attempt to carry the albino's heavy body, Gojo wasn't even helping himself, his mind was still wandering on the song and especially on the person he still insisted on loving. So Gojo was lost in the illusion that only alcohol could give him.
- Suguru... I'm sorry, I should have done more for you, I should have stayed by your side... I love you so much... I miss you so much... - said Gojo on the person's shoulders who was carrying it.
Gojo hugged him even tighter, receiving only silence in response, his tears intensifying.
- Tell me what would have made you stay, what I should have done for you to stay with me, I know I could have made you change your mind. - Satoru laughed, but it was such a depressing sound that it would make anyone who heard it sad. - You know I would have been able to convince you, right?
Gojo didn't realize that they had arrived in a room and that he was lying in bed, he didn't imagine he could get so drunk, but the alcohol itself wasn't enough to calm the loneliness of his heart, for at the slightest sign of that he would be alone, Gojo grabbed the wrist of the one he believed to be Suguru.
- Please stay with me, we can come back, we can be the strongest pair once again... Suguru... I'm so lost without you... - Gojo said with difficulty, between crying and drunkenness.
- Gojo-San, you need to sleep - said the person who helped him, but the alcohol intoxicated Satoru's senses, not allowing him to identify who it was, he just wanted to believe that his ex was speaking.
- you never called me Gojo-San, two years away and I'm no longer "Satoru" to you? - Gojo was smiling, but his tears denounced that it was the fakest smile in the world.
Satoru heard a deep sigh from the person who helped him.
- Satoru, please sleep, I'll be here when you wake up. - Gojo heard it as if it were Geto who had said them.
That illusion was enough for Gojo to finally allow himself to sleep, the false feeling that he wouldn't be alone, but even unconscious, he didn't let go of the poor soul's wrist that decided to rescue him.
once awake with a strong hangover, Gojo noticed that he was not in his room, he had never been in that room, despite the shape of that place was similar to his own bedroom, the content there was different. This room was comforting, wooden shelves covered the entire wall in front of the bed, there was no room for any more books on the furniture. Gojo also noticed the desk across the room and a board with a photograph, he recognized the two people smiling there, one with bowl-cut black hair, carrying a smile that could light up anyone and the other person with a shy and sincere smile, with long blond and oddly parted hair. Satoru remembers when this photo was taken, it was during the mission of Master Tengen's receptacle, Gojo recognized the beach on the background, it was where everyone was having fun with before everything went wrong.
It was then that Gojo noticed that he had a firm grip on the wrist of the blond boy, the one who was always sulking and always claimed that he would never respect Gojo, no one other than Nanami Kento. The young man who said in all words that he hated everything and everyone, but in his inside, he was the kindest and caring person he would ever meet in such a cruel society.
Nanami, like Geto, was the only other sorcerer who had no record of shamans in his family, but the contrast between them was enormous, not only in appearance but also in personality.
The blonde was at the foot of the bed, his long legs were crossed under the bed where Gojo rested, Nanami rested his face on the edge of the bed, after all that was the only position the young man could find himself in, as he was held by Satoru's hand, who refused to leave him.
Gojo felt guilty for putting the boy through all that, he also felt ashamed for his attitude and weakness in letting himself be carried away by alcohol. He didn't remember what he had said to Nanami, but he could imagine the content of the conversation.
- Gojo-San? - Nanami said sleepily but still attentive.
Gojo didn't even realize that the young man there had woken up.
- Gojo-San, are you okay? - Nanami asked, still worried about the older one.
As chatty as Gojo was, he had no words for it, as he was definitely not okay and he knew there was no way to lie to Nanami, there was no reason to either. So he just shook his head, which was a really bad idea as the hangover was so strong. That was enough for Nanami to understand the situation.
- I got it, I'll get a medicine for a headache and something light for you to eat, your stomach must not be very well, but you need to eat so that the hangover goes away. - Nanami replied as if that was Gojo's only problem.
Satoru liked how Kento handled things in the simplest and most practical way possible, Nanami never wanting to know why things were like this, but Kento always made himself available to people that needed help.
Nanami went and came back in the blink of an eye, in his hands was a glass of water and pills, Gojo accepted them gratefully, his mouth was so dry that he quickly drank all the liquid, but he regretted it as he felt nauseated.
- The bucket is at your side if you need it. - Nanami stated in her typical calm voice.
Gojo shook his head, he didn't want to vomit and his stubbornness made him stay with the water and medicine in his stomach, Nanami left the room again and went to the kitchen. After a few minutes of hearing the noise of cutlery and crockery being used, the younger sourcerer returned with soup and bread for breakfast.
They didn't exchange a word as they ate, Gojo was grateful the silence wasn't awkward, however Gojo thought he should be ashamed of his actions. So with his half-eaten plate, he decided to talk.
- I'm grateful for what you're doing, but you don't need to do so. - Gojo gave his first sincere smile since entering that room.
- I know, I did it because I wanted to. - Nanami replied indifferently.
The eldest couldn't help but smille, logically the blonde would answer that, because he never did what he didn't want since the death of his boyfriend Yu, Nanami refused to do things that went against her instincts and also his morals.
- I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but what I mean is that I understand you. - Gojo was surprised that Nanami wanted to continue the conversation.
Gojo watched the younger with curious eyes, Satoru wanted to know to where the conversation was taking, Kento wouldn't look him in the eye, his vision focused on the bread in his hands, but with a sigh, he continued.
- This song is a curse, isn't it? - Nanami removed the focus from the bread and now looked at the cell phone that was on the nightstand beside Gojo.
Gojo's cell phone was silent, but he knew what the younger man was talking about, the music that made him succumb to his drink. Embarrassed, Gojo just let his shoulders slump and nodded to Nanami.
- I know it's different for you, but I can imagine your pain. This song is a disgrace because it reminds me that I am alone, that I was not strong enough, that my worthlessness, immaturity and inexperience were, in part, the cause of the death of the person I loved. This song reminds me of the promises we made to each other, promises we will never keep. - Nanami confessed with sadness in his eyes.
Gojo watched the young man's expressions carefully, saw there the forced maturity in his soul, the resilience he had to achieve with a great cost. Satoru would never be able to know the extent of Kento's suffering, because unlike Gojo, Nanami had witnessed the death of his lover right in front of him, Kento had to protect the body of the deceased until someone came to help him.
- Gojo-san, there are many things I regret in this life and one of them is the way I treated you when Yu died, at that time I had forgotten that you are a human being like all of us, bone and flesh, who has a soul as fragile as anyone else. So, I'm sorry for the burden I wanted to put on your shoulders. - Nanami looked deep into Satoru's blue eyes.
The eldest looked into that pair of dark and intense eyes, but at the same time those eyes were calm and conveyed security, the albino couldn't help but admire the young man, even with so much suffering in life, he didn't let his soul be tarnished, Satoru saw that Kento carried an unshakable goodness in his heart.
Ah, if Suguru had 10% of Nanami's kindness and empathy... - Satoru thought, admiring and envying the young sorcerer.
- Rather eloquent today, don't you think so Nanami-kun? - Satoru wanted to provoke the youngest, to remove the heavy atmosphere and this unnecessary feeling of guilt on the younger's heart.
- Go to hell Gojo-san.
It was a rare moment the two shared, both laughing, both carrying feelings too heavy for their young age, a youth forcibly lost.
- What are you going to do while you take a break from jujutsu? - Gojo had to ask Nanami.
- A break? I'm not going back, I told you so. - Nanami replied quickly, convinced, with the same certainty that the sun would always rise.
- Of course... - Gojo smirked. - So, what are you going to do?
- I will work, earn enough money to retire and live my isolated life in some quiet place.
Nanami was a predictable person, his simplicity always apparent, Gojo knew that was something Kento would say.
- And what would you do if you could drop everything? - That question asked by the blonde took Gojo by surprise.
- Sincerely? I have no idea.
That answer was expected by both of them, which was even sadder because of the meaning behind it, as it showed that Gojo didn't know what his life would be like without jujutsu, he didn't know what it was like to be a human being, he had no idea what it was like to live without his responsibilities. Satoru had his entire life traced out and destined for just that. Nanami, with his immense empathy, allowed himself to share the pain and loneliness that Gojo felt and the albino knew it, for this reason, Gojo knew and stated that Nanami was just taking a break from jujutsu, because sooner or later, the blonde would return to share this burden with him.
They remained silent, enjoying each other's company, until they heard one of the freshmen humming that damn song, they both grunted in agony, not taking it anymore, but at least now, neither of them felt so affected by it, it was as if both had found some comfort, so for the first time, they were allowed to laugh at it.