Work Text:
“What do you mean, you're canceling my card?”
“Exactly what I said, Leighton. I know what Net A Porter is now, and I know it's not for textbooks! You'll have to earn it back with good grades and behavior.”
“Thanks a lot, Dad. Guess I'll starve.”
“You have a meal plan, Leight.”
“Ugh!” She hung up on him, threw the phone onto her pillow, then ran her fingers through her hair.
“Something wrong?” Asked Kimberly.
“My fascist father is cutting off my credit card. Someone clued him in about Net A Porter.”
“Aww, Leighton. I'm sorry. I have no clue what that's like, but I'm sure it must suck. Boo, Mr. Murray!”
“Thanks, Kimberly. I have a bit saved up, I'll be OK. But, ugh! Nordstrom has a Christmas sale coming up that I'll have to miss. It's so unfair!”
“When will you get it back? Surely it's not forever?”
“If I have good grades and behavior, he'll give it back.”
“Well, better not piss off your parents over Christmas break and you'll be fine!”
Pissing her parents off sounded like exactly what she wanted to do, though. She could really go for a nice hot plate of angry dad. Her phone buzzed on her pillow, and she picked it up. A notification from her hookup app – Amber has matched with you! Not now, Amber, she thought. But maybe there was something there. Would anything piss her parents off more than knowing her sexual proclivities? She didn't relish the thought of coming out, but spite was a hell of a motivator. Was it worth it just to ruin Christmas break for everyone? Maybe.
***
Alicia was working the bar at the Women's Center's annual Non-Denominational Holiday Party. Ginger was on her last nerve asking if each bottle of wine and booze was ethically sourced, and the holiday-themed poetry slam was grating. Peskiest of all, she found her eye kept straying to the front door hoping to see a flash of long blonde hair. Fashionably late as always, if she deigned to come in the first place.
After a few discreet shots under the bar, Alicia was feeling properly lubricated and a little kinder to the poetry on stage. Still, she didn't miss it when that blonde head came in the room, tailed by her three roommates. The more the merrier, Alicia thought, they she would admit she had hoped to have Leighton to herself all night. She found the girl funny and interesting, and challenging. And Alicia liked a challenge.
“Any poems about Santa being an arm of the patriarchy yet?” Leighton greeted her. Alicia smiled and began pouring four drinks.
“No, but there was one comparing Santa's coat to menstrual blood, so you missed out.”
“Aww, damn! Maybe next year we'll get a reprise. Oh! Alicia, these are my roommates. Bela, Whitney and Kimberly. Guys, this is Alicia.” They all made their introductions and small talk, while Alicia stole glances at Leighton and saw her look a little nervous. Strange.
“You OK?” Alicia mouthed at her while Bela went on about an upcoming wine and cheese party thrown by the Catullan. Leighton just nodded, and bit her bottom lip. Alicia tried not to get distracted by that.
“Guys, why don't you grab a seat. I'll just be a second,” Leighton said, and her friends followed her direction. Typical, Alicia thought with a fond smile. Leighton turned to her. “Can I talk to you? I have a proposition.”
“Sure. Shoot.”
“So, for reasons I won't get into, I have become committed to getting sweet revenge on my parents. And I need your help.” She ran her fingers through her hair. She was nervous, Alicia confirmed. “God, this is so weird to talk about but I'm just going to say it. Will you come to my family's house in New York City for Christmas and pretend to be my girlfriend?”
“Whoa.”
“I just want to piss them off and this will definitely piss them off.”
“I don't know what to say. I'm flattered?”
“Great, but say 'yes,' please.”
“What's in it for me?”
“All expenses paid, of course. And $500. And I'll volunteer 100 more hours to the Women's Center.”
“Wow, you had that all planned out, huh?”
“I always take business seriously, Alicia,” Leighton said with a coy smile.
Alicia was thrown off-kilter by the request. Surely Leighton wouldn't be asking if she suspected that Alicia was harboring embers of a crush on her, so at least that wasn't being telegraphed as loudly as she feared it was. But it was a weird request, none the less. Intriguing, and the money was nothing to scoff at. She could use a little extra in the bank after buying her annual measly haul of presents for her friends and family. Not to mention the shipping for said presents since she couldn't afford the plane ticket to go home that year. Maybe she could even use the $500 to fly home over spring break. Was she really doing this?
“OK,” she finally said. “I'm in.”
“Are you for real?” Leighton said, a shocked smile on her face.
“I'm crazy for saying it, but yeah, for real.”
“OK, thank you! Thank you so much!”
Alicia blushed. She had never seen Leighton so genuine or excited. She watched as the other girl's mask slowly fell back into place.
“OK, if we're doing this, we need to plan. Sips, tomorrow, 2 pm?”
“It's a date, fake girlfriend,” Alicia grinned.
***
Not for the first time, Leighton wondered if she was a sociopath for doing what she was about to do. Did her parents really deserve the mental anguish they were in store for, just because they canceled her credit cards temporarily? The rational part of her said no. The irrational part said she was completely within her rights. The quietest part of her said she was merely weaponizing her own family's unfortunate homophobia against them. Whatever works.
It was 4 pm the next day and she and Alicia were still putting their heads together at Sips. Kimberly kept dropping by to set down new lattes and hot teas, and to eavesdrop. Leighton had of course come clean about her plan to her roommates, if only because she needed confirmation that she wasn't doing something crazy. Unfortunately, the consensus was that she did look a bit crazy, but good for her for coming out! Even if it was for spite. She'd take that.
“So we just take the path of honesty and say we met at the Women's Center, right? My dad will especially love that angle. Don't even get him started on women's studies.”
“Can't wait,” Alicia said wryly. “And yeah, I think that's best. I'm not good at lying, so the more realistic this can be, the better.”
“In that case, what do you think would be easiest to tell them about our first date? If it comes up. They may not be that interested.”
“Well, if we were going to go on a date, I would take you to Lewis Park.”
“Isn't that where everyone goes to hook up?” Leighton asked. Alicia just wiggled her eyebrows. “Gross, shut up,” Leighton laughed. “For real, what are we going to say?”
“I don't know, a movie? Axe throwing?”
“Do I look like I've ever thrown anything at a target?”
“Fair point. A concert?”
“I'm telling them you took me to Vincenzo's. It's fancy, they'll like that.”
“Isn't the point supposed to be that they don't like anything about this, though?”
“True. Oh, I don't know. Pick something!”
“What about other dates you've been on? Where have guys taken you?”
Alicia was shocked to see what looked like a blush dusting Leighton's cheeks, but the girl never lost her composure. “Nowhere worthwhile. Where would you take me?”
“I'd take you to dinner, then a movie, then coffee so I can hear all your thoughts about the movie, and then who knows? It would be endless fun.” Was she flirting? Sue her.
“Sounds nice. I like that,” Leighton said.
“I live to impress.”
Leighton smiled but a hush fell over them. It wasn't uncomfortable, just companionable.
***
“So did you tell your parents ahead of time that I'm coming with you? Or are we just going to have a big coming out scene at the train station?” Alicia asked.
Leighton huffed. “I told them I'm bringing a friend, but they don't know you're my girlfriend. I'm hoping your appearance warns them up to the truth, and then I'll just hold your hand and call you 'babe' a few times and that'll be good enough for Dad to blow his top.”
“Great. Love dramatic coming-outs. Never had one of those,” Alicia said sarcastically. Leighton just smiled and reached over to pat Alicia's hand where it lay gripping the armrest of her seat. They both stared out the train window as they pulled into the station.
“So who am I meeting straight off the train?” Alicia asked.
“Mom and Dad. Yvette and Henry.”
“And your brother?”
“Nico had a late final. He'll be up later tonight.”
The train came to a stop and the doors slowly opened. The passengers grabbed their belongings and started shuffling off. Alicia and Leighton made their way though the terminal into the grand lobby of the train station. There, standing near the ticket booth, were her parents, scanning the crowd for their daughter. Leighton grabbed Alicia's hand and tugged her towards them. She held on fast, only dropping her hand once she was sure her parents had clocked it.
“Leighton, dear!” Her mother crowed. “My darling!”
“And is this the friend? I'm Henry,” said her dad, holding out his hand to Alicia. She took it.
“Alicia.”
“Yvette,” said Mom, proffering her hand as well. Alicia gave it a small shake. “Leighton you've told us nothing about dear Alicia here.”
“Sorry it was a last minute thing, Mom. She didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas. I was sure you would understand,” Leighton said.
“That's OK, dear. We don't have a guest room, though, as you know, so you'll have to share a bed,” Yvette said.
“Oh, that's more than fine,” Leighton said, shooting a sly smile at Alicia and hoping her parents noticed. Alicia blushed.
“Well, don't get too excited,” said Yvette.
“Shall we go?” Asked Henry. He grabbed Leighton's bag and rolled it towards the door. Yvette followed and Alicia and Leighton shared a grin behind their backs before trailing after them.
Alicia knew Leighton was rich, but she didn't know she was like, rich-rich. Her penthouse apartment, however, confirmed: she was rich-rich. It overlooked Central Park, for fuck's sake. Alicia couldn't stop looking out the window. It was her first time in the city, and she couldn't get enough of that view.
“Take a picture, it'll last longer,” Leighton said behind her. Alicia just whirled on her and stuck out her tongue, a childish response to a childish line. Yvette walked past them, shuffling through a pile of mail in her hands. “Do you want anything to drink, babe?” Leighton asked, subtle emphasis on the word “babe.” She watched Yvette's head whip around at her.
“No, I'm good,” Alicia said, trying to ignore the tension that now hung heavy over the room now. Yvette finally cleared her throat and moved into the kitchen. Leighton turned to Alicia with a shit-eating grin and a thumbs-up. “That was a close one, babe,” Alicia said.
“Still didn't do the trick, though. Let's go into the living room and watch some Netflix. We can hold hands or something. That'll get them.”
Alicia shrugged and followed Leighton into the adjoining room, plopping down next to her on the couch. The taller girl turned on the TV and navigated to “Indian Matchmaker.” A cosmic choice considering it was the very show Alicia had been binge-watching recently. Leighton got up to turn on all the lights, then came back and settled right next to Alicia, nearly on her lap. Alicia gulped. “Don't want them to miss anything when they walk past,” Leighton said.
“That's fine,” Alicia bit out. Her nerves were getting the best of her. She wasn't looking forward to the scene coming up between Leighton and her parents, but she was getting paid, so she tried to shrug it off.
As they watched, Leighton grabbed Alicia's hand, pulling it into her lap and playing with her fingers. Alicia blushed, suddenly feeling too hot under the lights. Leighton then pulled the hand to lay around her shoulders, and turned to rest her own head in the crook of Alicia's neck. Alicia thought she might combust. It was weird. She had her doubts about this scheme after she agreed to it. She was certain Leighton was straight, and since she was, it was a bit shady that she wanted to playact as a lesbian just to get petty revenge on her parents. It wasn't a good look. She still liked Leighton, but her esteem for her had fallen just a bit. Her crush, however, as indicated by her currently pounding pulse, had never gone away. In fact, she worried it was only going to get stronger, despite her doubts.
Just then, Henry strode in with a newspaper under his arm and took a spot on the armchair. It took him a minute to notice them, but when he did, he cleared his throat. “You girls are awfully close, huh? How'd you meet again?”
“The Women's Center. You know, I had to volunteer there after my unfortunate run-in with campus security? Alicia is acting student director,” Leighton said, nuzzling her head into Alicia's neck for show.
“Tell me you're not a women's study major,” said Henry, rather desperately.
“Minor. Major's poli-sci,” Alicia said.
“Hmm. That's a bit better. Say, what do you think about this Joe Manchin?” Alicia picked up his thread and followed it until soon they were good-naturedly debating politics. Leighton grabbed at Alicia's other hand and began to fiddle with her fingers, bored. They made quite the picture, she thought. Surely her dad was picking up on something here.
“Babe, stop boring me with politics,” Leighton finally huffed. Her dad's eyebrows shot up at the word.
“That's a funny nickname, Leight,” said Henry, laughing. He went back to his newspaper while the girls continued cuddling on the couch.
***
Later that night, the family, plus Alicia, gathered for dinner. Nico had come home, finally. Their live-in chef slash maid, Frida, had cooked an enormous dinner. It was the first time they had been in the same place since that disastrous Parent's Weekend dinner with Leighton's roommates.
“Potatoes, babe?” Leighton asked, offering Alicia a platter of twice-baked potatoes.
“Sure,” said Alicia, ignoring the sharp look Yvette shot her way. They made their way through a tense dinner, Leighton ramping up the tension with little touches and endearments. Finally, after the last course was served and Frida was coming around with coffee and wine, Yvette said, “Alicia, dear, would you please excuse us? We have something to discuss with Leighton.”
“You can go up to my room. Remember where it is?” Leighton asked, hand grasping at Alicia's and squeezing. Alicia just nodded and took off as fast as she could.
“Leighton, dear, is there something you want to tell us?” Asked Yvette once Alicia had cleared the room.
“What do you mean, mother?” Leighton asked.
Nico sat his fork down and stared in interest. “What's going on?” He asked.
“We're just wondering if there's anything Leighton wants to tell us about her new friend, with whom she is awfully, awfully close,” said Henry.
“I'm not sure what you're referring to, Dad," Leighton said.
“Is Alicia... dear, is she a lesbian?” Yvette asked.
“You can't just ask if people are lesbians, Mom!” Nico said. “It's 2021.”
“I'm not asking if people are lesbians, Nico, I'm specifically getting around to asking if your sister is a lesbian,” Yvette said.
Leighton smirked. She had them right where she wanted them. “And if I am?” She asked.
“Then, dear, we'd be very disappointed. We would support you, but we can't support your lifestyle. It would shame the family!” Yvette said.
“Yvette, calm down. It won't shame us. It's not 1800. But honey, it's not what we want for your life. Your life will be so much harder. Can't you just choose a nice boy?” Henry asked.
“Dad, I chose Alicia. And that's why I brought her here. She's my girlfriend. You guys are going to have to get used to it.” With that, Leighton flounced off to her bedroom. She darted inside and closed the door after her. Alicia gave her a quizzical look.
“How'd it go?”
“Great. Cat's out of the bag!” Said Leighton. “They seem pissed, at least. Dad's trying to put on a good face, but I can tell he's over-the-moon upset. He asked why I can't just find a nice boy.”
A knock came at the door. “Leighton? Can I come in?” It was Nico.
“Sure,” said Leighton, and her brother's face appeared in the crack in the door. “Come in!”
“Sorry,” he said, fully entering the room and shutting the door behind him. He carried a bottle of wine. “Peace offering?” He said, handing it to his sister. “Listen, I'm sorry about Mom and Dad. They just don't get it. But, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you for coming out. It takes guts. You know, I always kind of expected something like this, deep down. You've never been attached to any guys, not even Corey, who loves you. Plus you had that weird intense friendship with Liza in middle school. You guys were weirdly close and then something happened, right? That was strange...”
“Nico, get to the point.”
“Yeah, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you. And that it's nice to meet Alicia. You seem very happy together.”
“Thanks, Nico,” Leighton said, genuine. They gave each other a small, awkward hug and then he was gone as fast as he came.
Alicia reached for the bottle, which he'd kindly opened for them, and uncorked it, taking a swig and then handing it to Leighton. They picked up on “Indian Matchmaker” where they had left off and finished the wine.
***
That night, they went to sleep on the farthest edges of the bed, desperate not to touch, even accidentally. Alicia was worried about overplaying her hand and letting Leighton in on how she felt, so distance was key.
As she blinked up at the ceiling, willing sleep to come, she thought back on Nico's words. He seemed so unsurprised that Leighton could be a lesbian. And he had picked up on a lot. Her lack of interest in boys, and a surplus of interest in this Liza girl, and then some kind of dramatic friend breakup? What happened there? Was there more to Leighton's story than she suspected at first? With hazy thoughts of Leighton returning her burgeoning feelings, she slowly slipped into sleep.
That morning, Alicia woke with a heaviness in her chest. No, on her chest. What was that? Before she even blinked her eyes open, she turned her nose downward, only to find it buried in floral-scented hair. Who was that? Her eyes crept open to find nothing but blonde. Oh shit. And her right arm was asleep. She looked over to find it hidden underneath her bed partner, cradling her. Oh shit! She tugged on her dead arm, trying to free it from where it was pinned. The jostling woke Leighton, whose head shot up in surprise. She moved away swiftly, snatching her hand back from where it rested on Alicia's chest. She sat up in bed, swinging her legs over the sides of and clearing her throat. Nonchalant as a cucumber, she asked, “Did you sleep well?” as she brushed hair from her eyes.
Stunned, Alicia could just hum in the affirmative. Her chest burned and felt unadorned without Leighton's head pressed against it, and her floral shampoo still lingered in the air around Alicia.
“What are we doing today?” Alicia asked, hoping to ease some of the tension in the air.
“Christmas shopping. We're hitting up the mall, babe!”
“Ugh,” Alicia groaned, throwing an arm over her face. “I hate shopping.”
“We have to get each other gifts. I mean, of course we'd have gifts to give each other, if this was real, right?”
If this was real, Alicia thought ruefully. “Fine. But you're buying me breakfast. And maybe lunch. I'm very food motivated, you'll find.”
“Deal.”
They soon found themselves in an upscale mall on the Upper West Side. “Would you like this as a gift?” Alicia asked, holding up a sweater.
Leighton grabbed it from her and read the tag. “20% polyester? Not even my corpse would wear this.”
“Fine,” Alicia grumbled, and she put it back. Leighton picked a few things out so Alicia could “buy” them for her (she bought them herself) and they went to the kiosk in the mall that wraps presents.
“What do you want for Christmas?” Leighton asked while they were waiting for their gifts to be wrapped.
“A family.”
“Shut up,” Leighton laughed. “But really?”
“Really? I want a new car. But I'd settle for some vinyls and a new pair of Vans.” The Vans they found in a shoe store in the mall – overpriced, of course. The vinyls, they had to venture downtown a bit for, to a hole in the wall gem of a vinyl shop. Alicia could have spent the better part of a day in the store, but she found her ultimate picks and Leighton bought them. “I like having a rich girlfriend,” said Alicia.
“You're just my trophy girlfriend, so of course I have to pamper you,” joked Leighton.
They were soon sitting at a trendy lunch spot uptown, perusing the menus. “What are you going to have? I'm thinking the ahi tuna salad,” said Alicia.
“The fennel salad,” said Leighton, and they fell into silence once more. Alicia, having decided on her lunch, scanned the room until she noticed, the strangest thing, a girl their age staring at them.
“Um,” said Alicia, “not to frighten you, but there's a girl over there staring a hole through us. Do you know her?”
“What does she look like?”
“Short hair, wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar like it's 2006, and a string of pearls,” said Alicia.
“Esme!” Whispered Leighton. She pulled her menu up to her face, slightly turned and cast a surreptitious glance towards the girl. “It is her. That bitch.”
“Who's Esme?” Asked Alicia.
“She's coming over here,” said Leighton. She pasted on a fake smile and whirled on the approaching girl. “Esme! I can't believe you're here!”
“Leighton! How's it going?”
“Couldn't be better. I love my new roommates.”
“Is this one of them? Hi, I'm Esme.”
“Alicia, and no. We're not roommates,” Alicia said.
“Wow, another friend. I didn't think you had any friends besides your roommates now. But you did always have trouble making friends outside of a few close ones,” Esme said.
Alicia's hackles raised. This offensive little creature didn't have to insult Leighton like that.
“Actually,” she said, reaching across the table to grab Leighton's hand where it lay gripping her silverware. She pried her fingers loose and clutched them. “We're more than friends.”
“More than friends?” Asked Esme.
“That's right. Like, girlfriends,” Alicia confirmed. Leighton squeezed her hand, looking terrified. That was an awful serious look for a joke of a situation, Alicia noted.
“Wow, that's... wow. Well, it makes sense. Leighton was never one for boys. And you know, we always said we just felt like there was something Leight was hiding. Turns out it was a big secret, huh Leighton?” Esme asked.
“Wonderful to see you around, Esme,” said Leighton after a terse moment. She covered Alicia's hand with her other hand and gave Esme the biggest grin she could muster until the girl took the hint and turned tail.
“Fuck her, oh my god,” said Alicia when she was gone. Leighton squeezed her hand once and let go.
“There's a reason she's an ex-friend. Thanks for helping me out there. I never would have had the courage to say it myself.”
“Well, we didn't have to rope Esme into the plot but I figured if she thought you couldn't make friends, it'd really show her if you had yourself a girlfriend. That's like, a tier two friend,” Alicia joked.
“It was a good idea. Are you ready to order?”
“Yeah.” They placed their order with the waiter and he walked away. When he was gone, Alicia turned to Leighton and asked, “so why are people just not surprised when you come out to them? Nico and Esme, neither of them seemed as shocked as I thought they would be because you're just so... straight."
Leighton tucked some hair behind her ear, her eyes dancing across the room. “Um, I'm not sure. I've always been really secretive about my relationships. I don't need people knowing my business.”
“But you're ready to come out of a fake closet just as a prank on your parents? Coming out is the ultimate 'letting people into your business,' and I should know,” Alicia said.
“Spite is a hell of a drug,” Leighton grinned.
Alicia laughed. “And who was Liza?”
“Liza was my best friend in middle school. You know girls that age, they get super close and then fall apart just as easily. It was a typical preteen friendship. Nico's making it seem worse than it was.”
Alicia had friendships like that back in the day, but in 90% of them, she got close to those girls because she was crushing on them, something of which her preteen self was not aware. She was aware now, though, and wondered if Leighton was brushing off a friendship that had actually been equally as intense as Alicia's had been.
“Yeah, I know how that is,” Alicia said.
***
Later that evening, Leighton was cleaning up a bit after the long day of shopping, getting into more comfortable clothing in the bathroom. Her heart had been skidding in her chest ever since the run-in with Esme. She was worried enough last night after her brother had brushed off her coming out, then Esme said that it made sense, too, and she felt like she no longer had a handle on the situation. She didn't want Alicia to know that she was gay, maybe because she didn't want to complicate things with reality, and feelings. She had a classic flash of gay panic that morning, having woken up with her head softly buried in Alicia's chest and her arm thrown across her stomach. She had shot up like a corpse hand out of the ground in a zombie film. Maybe her subconscious knew fully something she had only started to weakly suspect – that she liked Alicia as more than a friend. Which was so annoying, if she was being honest. Feelings weren't something Leighton Murray did. She preferred one-time hookups with no attachment. So this was entirely new, and entirely unwanted.
In her nicest pajamas now, Leighton descended the stairs to find Alicia already in the kitchen chatting up Frida. Frida was like a beloved old Swedish aunt to Leighton. She had been with the Murrays Leighton's entire life. It was one of their Christmas traditions to spend an evening baking and singing along to Christmas music. It was the one thing she was looking forward to this trip, and she was kind of excited to share it with Alicia.
“Leighton, dear! I'm just chatting with Miss Alicia here. I like her a lot! You did well!” Frida cheered.
Leighton's cheeks darkened a bit when Alicia looked at her with joy at the compliment. “Glad you approve, Frida," she said.
“What are we baking first, ladies?” Asked Frida.
“Sugar cookies?” Leighton suggested. Soon they were elbow-deep in dough, which they rolled, cut out, and arranged on a baking sheet. Alicia had somehow gotten flour into her hair. Leighton giggled, reached up and brushed it away. Alicia grabbed at her retreating hand, bringing it to her mouth and kissing it with a loud, dramatic smack! Leighton's giggle turned nervous, but she was sure Alicia just meant to better sell the relationship, right? And it was working, based on the way Frida was looking at them.
“Girls, you make me feel young again,” said Frida.
They moved on to white chocolate cranberry cookies, Leighton's favorite. Frida was busy checking the cookies in the oven when Alicia dipped a finger in the white chocolate ganache and smeared it across Leighton's nose. Leighton gasped. “Bitch!” She dipped her own finger in the ganache and wiped it on Alicia's cheek.
“Ugh!” Said Alicia. She gathered up a spatula-full of ganache and feinted at Leighton with it. The other girl squealed in delight and terror.
“Ladies!” Said Frida, turning around. “No food fights in my kitchen!”
“Sorry, Frid,” Leighton said.
“Sorry,” Alicia echoed.
They continued baking until the table was hidden under a slab of cookies and cakes and nut brittle and fudge. Covered in flour and exhausted, Leighton and Alicia dragged themselves to bed and, without thinking to do otherwise, fell asleep face-to-face.
In the morning, they once again woke up entwined. Leighton's eyes opened and she felt something beneath her moving rhythmically, a hand working up and down her back. “Mmm,” she groaned.
“Good morning,” came a voice from above her. Leighton's head snapped up and she made eye-contact with Alicia, whose hand hadn't stopped moving. “Did you sleep well?”
“Uhh,” Leighton said dumbly. Her brain had short-circuited. She still hadn't moved from Alicia's grasp. It felt good.
“Still not awake?” Alicia smiled. She squeezed the girl in her arms, gave her a playful shake. “What are we doing today?”
Finally, Leighton heaved herself out of bed, wrenching herself from Alicia's arms and feeling woefully colder for it. Gathering herself, she answered, “My parents want to go see a movie as a family, but I don't want to do anything they want to do, so we're going on a date.”
“A date?” Alicia grinned and stretched. “Where are we going?”
“It's a surprise,” Leighton grinned back.
***
They first hit up a diner near the campus of Leighton's old prep school. “I spent every morning before classes here pounding back shitty coffee to get through the day.”
“Well I'm glad you shared your safe space with me,” Alicia said. “I'm surprised you ever ate at a place this ordinary.”
“See, this place isn't ordinary, though. Try the pie, any pie, and you'll see.”
So they had sandwiches, and then a little pie.
“OK, I get it now. So not ordinary,” confirmed Alicia around a mouthful of black bottom banana pie. She tried to use her fork to protect her snack from the onslaught of Leighton's fork, but failed and lost a bite to the blonde. “No fair! Give me a bite of yours.”
Leighton pushed her plate towards her and Alicia sampled her key lime pie. “Not as good as mine. So. Where to next?”
“How do you feel about ice? Lots of it?”
“Good in a cocktail, but otherwise, I'm not sure.”
They're ice skating at Rockefeller Center. It's the ultimate NYC Christmas tourist trap. She can't believe Leighton would be caught dead at a place like this, not with all the mouth-breathers from flyover states pushing around clumsily on rental skates. But here they are, mittened hand in mittened hand, shakily making their way around the rink. Neither is particularly skilled at skating, but they're getting along fine.
“Did you ever do anything like this in high school?” Alicia asked.
“Once or twice. We mostly partied in high school, though. Not a lot of time to do shit like this when you're making out with bartenders twice your age.”
“This should be our Christmas tradition,” Alicia said, trying to steamroll past that problematic revelation.
Leighton played along. “Yeah, we should do this every Christmas. And I'll buy you a hot chocolate from that stand every year, and we can take a selfie under the tree.”
“And I'll push over anyone who bumps into you,” said Alicia.
“Even though you're five-foot-two.”
“And we'll go home and open just one gift from one another.”
“Sounds perfect,” Leighton said wistfully.
They made their way around the rink a few more times, giggling and making up stories for the weird out-of-towners they saw, and stopping once to take that aforementioned selfie.
“Oh shit, the time! We have places to be!” Leighton shrieked as she checked her phone.
“We do?” Alicia asked. They raced to the benches on the side of the rink, to take off their skates and put their shoes back on.
Rushing away from Rockefeller Center, they caught a taxi, speeding across town until they reached their destination: a pet store. “What's this?” Alicia asked.
“You'll see,” said Leighton, paying the cab driver. They entered the shop to find it stuffed with dogs and their owners, dogs in Christmas sweaters and Santa hats, all waiting for the chance to get a photo on Santa's lap.
“Oh my god. They're so cute!” Alicia said.
“I sneak off and do this every year. It's so fun to watch the dogs with Santa.”
They spent the better part of the afternoon there, standing behind the camera and helping the photographer to get the dogs to look into the lens by calling their names, squeaking toys and making kissy noises. Alicia took maybe 1,000 photos on her phone by the time they stumbled home. They were the only ones there except for Frida.
“Pizza and movies?” Leighton asked.
“Only if you buy me whatever you think is the best pizza in the city,” said Alicia.
“Done.”
They started with “Die Hard,” which Leighton swore was her favorite Christmas movie. Curled up on Leighton's bed and making their way through a pizza, the second film they watched was “Little Women” – “the one with Winona Ryder,” Alicia insisted. She used to watch it every year with her mom. She sniffled a bit at parts, missing being home with her family. It was nice to spend Christmas with a family, and Leighton helped, but she still couldn't help but wish she was Christmasing in her own hometown. Leighton put a comforting arm over her shoulders, and Alicia leaned into her, pizza box discarded by the side of the bed.
“Maybe we can go to yours for Christmas next year,” Leighton whispered, echoing their game from earlier, planning future Christmases. It made Alicia's heart hurt this time. She thought about how much her mom would actually like Leighton. It seemed a shame she would never meet her.
“Yeah, maybe,” Alicia said, a bit sadly. Leighton gave her a squeeze. That night, they fell asleep clutching hands.
When they woke the next day, they were once again as tight as peas in a pod. Alicia, like the day before, was the first to wake up, and she listened to Leighton's soft snores with a fond smile. She buried her nose in the other girl's hair, smelling the soft vanilla sugar scent. She switched up her shampoo, Alicia thought. She let the hairs on top of Leighton's head tickle her nose for a bit, then, because she couldn't help herself, she pressed a light kiss onto her crown, hoping to God that Leighton was still asleep. Luckily, the other girl's breaths stayed even and soft. Alicia just enjoyed holding her for a bit until she heard a grunt indicating Leighton was awake.
“Good morning. You snore, you know,” said Alicia.
“Do not,” Leighton mumbled groggily.
“OK, don't gaslight me,” Alicia joked.
“You sound like Ginger.”
“You've never said something more offensive to me.”
“You're right, I'm so sorry,” Leighton said, burying her nose in Alicia's neck and burrowing closer.
“What's happening today?” Alicia asked, heart pounding so loud she hoped Leighton couldn't hear it.
“I have to pick up a last-minute gift. Want to come?”
“Yeah, I could stand to do a last-minute shopping moment.”
They wound up back at the same mall, and decided to split up and meet back at a certain time. Alicia was glad; she had to get Leighton a real gift, not just one that she had selected (and bought) for herself. Alicia wasn't even sure where to start. She milled about the mall for a while, poking around Nordstrom's to take advantage of the Christmas sale Leighton would not shut up about, but nothing seemed good enough and besides, Alicia couldn't really replicate Leighton's style choices on her own. So she kept on, until she had just 30 minutes before she had to meet Leighton back at the fountain. No, not a personalized t-shirt. No, not a poster. No, not a gift card. It had to be special.
She finally passed by a store she hadn't seen before, a tiny jewelry shop. Probably too expensive, she thought, but went inside anyway. In a lit cabinet to her left were bracelets you could inscribe a name on. To the right, assorted rings. Cool, but too cliché. Finally, in the last cabinet, she saw rings etched with flowers. "Birth Flower Rings," said the placard. She remembered that Leighton was a Taurus because she talked about it all the time (and because she was stereotypically stubborn and materialistic), and she was pretty sure her birthday was in May. Sure enough to take a chance on it, anyway. She told the salesperson what the month was, and they pointed out the correct flower: the hawthorn. And affordable! She bought it as quick as she could, as if it might grow legs and run off.
When she rounded the corner to the center of the mall, she saw Leighton already waiting for her. She was wearing glasses that day and she looked, Alicia thought sheepishly, hot.
“Took you long enough,” Leighton greeted.
“Yeah, well, I had some pretty tough customers to buy for. Did you find everything you were looking for?”
“And more,” Leighton said, holding up two armfuls of bags. “Let's go, my arms are starting to kill me.”
They headed home to get ready for Christmas Eve service at church that night. Apparently it was a Murray family tradition that Alicia was very much not looking forward to. They entered the house to find it empty. Alicia was glad. She still felt so weird around the other Murrays, who she only really saw during dinner, where she didn't really talk. Henry engaged her in politics sometimes, but it was hard to concentrate over the heat ray glare Yvette was constantly shooting her way. Nico, bless him, tried to distract Yvette with stories about his frat brothers, but her gaze barely faltered. Alicia was just sure Yvette was going to chew her out some time before the holidays were over. She wasn't relishing the thought.
Thankfully, Leighton saw fit to make them whiskey sours. “You have to be kind of drunk to get through church,” she warned.
“How'd you learn to make such a good cocktail?” Alicia said after a tentative sip.
“I've been mixing Dad's drinks since I could walk,” Leighton said.
They downed about four of them a piece while they were getting ready. Nico came home at some point and greeted them as he walked past, but they were already almost three sheets to the wind, giggling their heads off. Soon Yvette and Henry were home and it was time to leave. Both girls were dressed to the nines. “You look hot, babe,” Leighton said in earshot of her parents. There's that glare again, Alicia thought, feeling Yvette's eyes boring into her. Still, she flushed a bit at Leighton's words. Maybe that was just the alcohol though. She had to admit, Leighton looked hot, too. She always did. Alicia would never say anything about it in front of Yvette, though. That was an explosive risk. She wasn't sure what had gotten into her. She thought she would be able to keep a rein on this crush, but this morning proved otherwise. What would she have done if her kiss on Leighton's head woke the girl up? How was she going to explain that away? Sorry, you had something on your head and I had to remove it with my lips? That wouldn't work. Leighton was still straight, and still pretending to be a lesbian just to piss off her rich parents. Alicia vowed to dwell more on that unsavory fact when her feelings got the better of her.
“Are we ready everyone?” Henry asked.
As they left the foyer, side-by-side, Leighton paused, grabbing Alicia's shoulder. She pointed up. "Mistletoe," she said with a self-satisfied grin.
"Girls we have to go," Henry said.
"Dad, we have to honor Christmas traditions, right? Aren't you the one who loves tradition?" Leighton quipped, but she was distracted staring into Alicia's eyes. "Come here," she whispered as she dragged the other girl closer and pressed their lips together, immediately deepening the kiss in a way meant to be showy.
Henry cleared his throat. "OK, girls, that's enough. We get the point." Leighton enjoyed the moment for just a bit more, then pulled away, wiping her lips and not noticing how bereft Alicia looked. Then they were out the door and in the car, squeezing into the backseat with Nico, Alicia's heart still thundering. “I want everyone to be on their best behavior. Leighton, no puking this year. I know you were drunk last year.”
“I won't, Dad,” Leighton said, trying and failing not to slur her words a bit. Alicia couldn't lie, she was still feeling those whiskey sours too (and that kiss). At least she wasn't trying to navigate wearing heels like Leighton was, though, preferring to remain on terra firma in her Doc's.
Leighton reached over and held her hand, hoping that Yvette or Henry could see them in the rearview mirror. When they got to the church, she let go, but then reconnected their hands the second they were out of the car.
“Girls, could you not do that in church? It's, as you know, church,” Henry said.
“Dad, God loves friendship,” Leighton said, but Alicia, hoping not to rock the boat, dropped her hand.
They were soon seated in a crowded cathedral, snow glistening just beyond the stained glass windows. It was beautiful, Alicia thought, her drunkenness causing the colors to swirl a bit.
“Oh, shit,” came Leighton's voice. “It's my ex.”
This piqued Alicia's interest in a big way. “Who?” She asked.
Leighton jerked her head and a thumb towards the door, where an attractive brunette and a tall man had just entered. Which one was her ex? Thought Alicia. Surely it was the man, right? He was attractive, and wearing name-brand clothing, and their age.
“Oh, he's hot. Was he an asshole?” Alicia asked.
“No, not... him,” she trailed off, then seemed to catch herself. “I mean, yes, him. And yes, he was an asshole.”
“Looks like one,” Alicia said.
***
Leighton wasn't sure why she couldn't tell Alicia that her ex was actually the woman, Christina. They had dated in high school, secretly of course. It ended because Christina wanted to tell people, not necessarily because she was an asshole. Why did she pass up such an easy opportunity to come out to the Alicia? They were pretending to be girlfriends, for fuck's sake. But maybe that was just it: she didn't want Alicia to get the wrong idea in such tenuous circumstances. Or, really the right idea, but she still wanted to keep it to herself. It wasn't Alicia's problem that she was crushing on the girl, and more so after their mistletoe kiss.
Church was interminable. The reverend droned on and on, and the only part Leighton liked was the choir. She avoided the temptation to pull faces at Alicia. Luckily, at some point her phone went off so she briefly distracted herself texting Kimberly, Bela and Whitney.
KIMBERLY: Leight how's it going with your giiiiiiirlfriiiiieeeeend?
LEIGHTON: Fine. We're at church.
BELA: You're fucking in a church? Kinky.
LEIGHTON: I'm not going to justify that with a response.
WHITNEY: But do you want to be fucking in a church? (crylaugh emoji)
LEIGHTON: I'm putting my phone down now.
BELA: Get it girl!
She put her phone away. Her dad was glaring at her anyway. While he was staring, she made a point to pick up Alicia's hand and cradle it in both of hers. She shot a glare right back at him.
They got home that night to a bounty of beautiful smells. Frida was cooking a big Christmas Eve dinner, her signature herb roast turkey, mashed red potatoes, gravy from the turkey drippings, tangy cranberry sauce and sweet potato casserole with buttery rolls on the side.
As they tucked in, Leighton treated herself to a plate of mostly mashed potatoes and gravy, her favorites. Yvette gave her the side-eye.
“Darling, surely you're not going to eat all of that,” she said as they all sat down. “The carbs will go straight to your hips. It's not becoming, dear.”
Leighton was ready to let it slip off her shoulders as she always did, but as she went to make eye-contact with Alicia, she saw the other girl had turned red.
“Actually, I think big hips are sexy, so you eat as much mashed potatoes as you want, baby,” said Alicia. “I think you're hot just as you are. You could get as fat as you wanted and I'd still love you.”
A hush fell over the table. Leighton was flabbergasted. “Love” was a big word to drop. Part of her tried to quell her pounding heart, the other part of her cheered at the fact that the L-bomb would probably really piss off her parents, not to mention Alicia's defending her against Yvette's barbs. She grinned even as her pulse raced.
“Fuck it,” Leighton finally broke the silence. “We're eating in my room. Babe?” She got up, gathered her plate, and, in her other hand, grabbed a nearby bottle of champagne. Alicia followed suit, grabbing another bottle on her way out. Leighton stomped up the stairs, Alicia in tow. When they got to her room, she shut the door and collapsed against it in giggles. “Did you see the looks on their faces?”
“Yeah, they were pretty pissed. I'm sorry I said all that actually. I just couldn't bear to hear your mom, like, fat-shame you when you look like, well, that.”
Leighton smiled fondly, placed her bounty on her dresser, and walked over to the other girl, gathering her in her arms and squeezing. “No, I'm proud of you. Finally learning to piss my parents off with more than just your presence. You're a natural.” Their giggles turned self-conscious, and they slowly drew apart. “Let's eat.” They grabbed their meals and opened bottles of champagne and joined one another on Leighton's bed. “'Indian Matchmaker'?” Asked Leighton. Alicia nodded, mouth full.
After one episode, they had finished their food and were each about a fourth of the way into their bottles of booze. After a while, they switched to Christmas movies, starting with “Elf,” a childhood favorite for both of them. Champagne bubbles erupted as giggles from their throats as they held hands on the bed. Soon, Leighton turned into Alicia, resting her arm over her stomach and her head on her shoulder. Alicia laid her head on Leighton's. Leighton wasn't sure how she felt so comfortable with the other girl. She never in her life had experienced this level of physical intimacy with another person, minus the copious amounts of one night stands she'd had. But this was just so much purer, this level of non-sexual touching. Just to hold Alicia's hand filled her stomach with more butterflies than most sexual encounters ever had. But their playacting just seemed so easy to continue even in the privacy of her bedroom. Leighton, certain that it would end when they got back to school, decided to relish it while it lasted.
“I think I like you better than any other person I know,” Leighton said.
“That's a bit sad,” Alicia said with a consoling sliver of a smile. They had both finished their bottles of champagne, and Leighton, for one, was feeling its effects. If she wasn't going to get to enjoy this intimacy after they got back to school, she was going to make the most of it.
First she met Alicia's heavy gaze. She could see a bit of pity in her eyes. She didn't like that, so she darted a glance to Alicia's lips before surging forward and tasting them. She tasted like champagne.
Alicia pulled away. “Aren't you straight?”
Leighton grinned. “Stop thinking so loud. I can't concentrate,” and leaned forward to capture Alicia's lips one more time. This time, the other girl didn't pull away, but met her just as ferociously. “I want you,” said Leighton against her better judgment. Alicia moaned and yanked her back into her orbit, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the underside of Leighton's jaw, her neck, the dip in her clavicle. Leighton arched towards her, and Alicia used the opportunity to slip her hand in the back pocket of Leighton's pants, leveraging to pull the other girl on top of her. She was rewarded with an armful and lapful of Leighton, who gasped against her lips as she settled into place. Alicia used the gasp to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue inside to glide against Leighton's. Leighton groaned and it settled right between Alicia's legs. Addicted to the noise, Alicia slid her leg up until her thigh rested between Leighton's. The other girl broke away from her lips with a moan, while her hips ground down. Leighton pulled away enough to begin working at the buttons of Alicia's shirt, divesting her of it the second the last button was loosened. Alicia lifted Leighton's sweater off in turn, leaving them in just their bras. Leighton stabilized herself with her hands on Alicia's stomach and her hips bucked in her lap, throwing her head back with a whispered “fuck.” Alicia's mouth moved to trail down Leighton's neck to the tops of her newly exposed breasts. “Take it off,” Leighton said, and soon Alicia's mouth was covering one of her nipples, flicking and sucking. Desperate to feel their bare skin touch, Leighton pulled off Alicia's sports bra, then lurched forward until their chests pressed together. Both girls groaned, writhing a bit just to feel the sensation of skin on skin. “You feel so good,” Leighton moaned.
Alicia's hands dragged down Leighton's side, and scratched down her bare back, earning a groan as Leighton kissed her senseless. Finally, her fingers came to rest on the fly of Leighton's pants. She flicked open the button and eased the zipper down, fingers skating inside the hem of her underwear. They glided around, underneath the fabric, and gripped the other girl's ass. “Take them off,” came Leighton's response.
“You're bossy in bed,” Alicia said.
“Shut up,” Leighton said as she stood briefly to shuck off her pants, taking her underwear with them. Alicia looked at her like she was Christmas Eve dinner redux.
“Your body is amazing,” Alicia said, drowning out whatever lingering doubt Leighton had about her appearance after her mother's comments. “Come here.” Leighton went to climb back into her lap, but first yanked Alicia's pants and underwear off in one mighty pull. “Holy shit, give a girl a warning, She-Hulk.” Leighton just rolled her eyes and got back on top of the other girl, whining as their hips met.
They tore each other apart that night and then put one another back together again. Leighton had never come so much in her life, preferring usually to run as soon as one, maybe two orgasms were checked off her list. They fell asleep wrapped up in the blankets and each other, sharing the same breath.
***
Alicia woke up harshly to a mouthful of blonde hair and a bit of a headache. She gently reached up and removed the hair, brushing it behind the ear that wasn't already pressed to her chest. This was the fourth time they had woken up like this, but it was the first time they were doing it in the nude. But far from being self-conscious, Alicia basked in the afterglow, glancing at the sunlight streaming in through the window, listening to the distant sounds of honking horns, Leighton's soft snores she insisted were just an illusion. She could lounge like this forever. Eventually, Leighton stirred. Expecting the other girl to nuzzle into her further, or give her a warm greeting, Alicia was shocked when Leighton instead shot up, took one look down at Alicia in her bed, gathered a blanket around her naked body and ran into the bathroom. Alicia, assuming that she was throwing up last night's champagne, followed, not bothering to cover herself. She knocked at the door. “Leight, you all right?”
“I'm fine. Just go away,” Leighton said.
“Afraid I'll hear you puking?” Alicia joked.
There was only silence on the other side of the door. Finally, it opened a crack. “I'm fine. I just... I'm sorry about last night. It shouldn't have happened.”
Alicia was taken aback. “Oh,” was all she said.
“It just wasn't my place to sleep with you. I had too much champagne. You get it, right?”
Alicia didn't get it, but just nodded until Leighton shut the door in her face again. Numbly, Alicia went to put on clothes for the day. It was fine. Clearly Alicia was just an experiment and Leighton had decided she wasn't straight. Alicia was going to try and be OK with that. Leighton stayed locked in the bathroom until Yvette knocked on their door and called them down to open presents, at which point the girl emerged fully clothed. She left the room and descended the stairs, and Alicia took a moment to grab the present she had bought for Leighton last minute.
They met at the bottom of the stairs and avoided one another's gaze. “Girls, over here. Sit on the couch,” Henry beckoned. They sat, side-by-side, next to Nico, Leighton in the middle. Alicia hid her present in the crease between the cushions. Henry began handing out gifts, one to Leighton, two to Yvette, a few to Nico. Alicia received her own few gifts, most from Leighton and an envelope from her parents. Cash or a gift card, most likely. Still, it was the thought that counted.
Leighton opened up all the gifts she had bought herself that were supposedly from Alicia, and did her best to sound excited and sappy over them. It didn't sound as genuine as it once did, Alicia noted. She opened her own gifts from her “girlfriend,” a few vinyls and a pair of Vans that she had picked out. After the gifts were opened and the thanks were given, Yvette and Henry trailed off to the kitchen for coffee while Nico retreated upstairs with his new guitar. Alicia and Leighton were left in a heavy silence.
“I got you one other thing,” Alicia said to break the tension, pulling the small box out.
“Is this the last-minute gift you had to buy?” Leighton asked wanly, as she turned to face Alicia.
“Yeah. Hope you like it.” Leighton ripped open the paper and opened the box to reveal the delicate golden ring. “It's your birth flower, a hawthorn.”
Leighton was silent, and Alicia swore she saw tears swimming in her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered. “It's maybe the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten.” She put the ring on, then buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook in sobs.
“Hey, it's OK. Leighton. It's OK,” Alicia comforted, putting a hand on the other girl's shoulders.
“It's not OK. It's not. I shouldn't have treated you like that this morning.”
“It is OK. You were scared. There's nothing wrong with that. You've never slept with a woman before, and you've decided you're not gay, and that's understandable.”
To her utter shock, Leighton let out a laugh and looked up. “See, that's just the thing, though. I've slept with lots of women. I'm gay. I've been gay. I just didn't want you to know because while I've been gay, I've never been in-- I've never liked someone. Like I like you.”
Alicia smiled, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. “I like you too.” She leaned forward, offering up her lips and hoping Leighton would take her up on it. She did, meeting her in a soft kiss. After a brief moment, they pulled apart, each thumbing tears away. “Would you maybe want to go on a real date? When we get back to school?”
“Fuck that,” said Leighton. Alicia felt like she was going to throw up, but then Leighton added, “Let's be real girlfriends. I don't need to date you once to know I want to be with you. What a waste of time.”
“Of course, Leighton Murray couldn't be expected to waste her time,” Alicia said with a fond grin. “Girlfriends it is.” They kissed once more, heedless of whether or not Leighton's parents were watching. "I'm still getting paid for this, though, right?" Alicia pulled away and asked.
Later, while they were holed up on the couch watching “The Shop Around the Corner” as a family (it was Yvette's favorite Christmas-adjacent film, and the only one she would deign to watch), Leighton dug out her phone.
LEIGHTON: Guess who has a girlfriend?
BELA: Yeah, you. A fake one. We know.
LEIGHTON: Not a fake one.
KIMBERLY: Oh my god, Leighton, are you saying you're dating Alicia?
LEIGHTON: That's what I'm saying.
WHITNEY: Yes! Lock that shit down!
BELA: I'm so proud of you!
KIMBERLY: How'd it happen?
LEIGHTON: That's a story for another time. I'm snuggling my GIRLFRIEND right now (winky emoji)