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Dean doesn't know exactly when it happened. Which exact moment had flipped the switch in his mind that forced him to admit that he was in love with another man. Well not just any man. Cas. The man who had saved his soul from hell and had since become his best friend and the biggest solid rock in his life. He depended on his brother and would do anything for Sam, but he needed Cas. Cas kept him sane.
Dean has known that for a while now... how much he depended on Cas. But he had never realized that something else had developed between them. It was now a different sort of need. The sort of need that he had only felt towards women, although then only superficially.
The women in his life had always been the ones who needed protecting. He had cared for them and watched over them. Even loved a few of them. But this was different. This time he needed protecting. And that feeling scared the living hell out of him.
The realization had hit Dean one night when he and Cas had returned to the bunker after spending the evening at his favorite bar. He wasn't even sure what made him invite Cas to go drinking in the first place. That was usually the thing he did when he needed to get away and be alone. But he had felt like going to the bar and Cas had been there, so Dean had just invited him to come along.
They had been sitting there drinking and an almost-past-tipsy Cas looked over at him and said, "You know. I've always known you were amazing."
His first inclination had been to try to refute the statement, but he was a little drunk himself, so instead he raised his beer and replied, "You know, I am pretty fucking amazing." Then he looked back at Cas and it hit him. This wasn't just a friendship. This wasn't family. He loved this man. He loved this angel. (And yes, the whiskey probably helped too).
Nothing had happened between them that night. Even drunk, Dean had the wherewithal not to just reach over and kiss Cas. He had no idea how Cas would respond to that. Did Cas even feel the same?
But as much as Dean didn't want to admit it, we loved Cas deeply. Being around Cas made his life better and, since that night, his heart flutter. When he'd round the corner and see Cas sitting there, his body would do a flip-flop unlike any he had ever known... He'd never experienced this with a girl. At least not to this degree. Not like this.
He didn't know why. He didn't know how. All that Dean knew was that he was in love. With Cas.