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In all of his years at Hogwarts, Beomgyu has had relatively normal mornings. 

Granted, there were a few times when he had woken up late, completely missing breakfast and his first few classes. Those were the after-mornings from when he had been up to no good with his friends and had stayed a tad bit too late into the night, sneaking around and causing mischief— it usually resulted in them getting their ears chewed off by the nasty custodian who caught them while doing his nightly rounds. 

20 points from Gryffindor! Professor Park’s admonishing voice, shrill and stern, sprung forth from the corners of his mind. He shivered at the memory. 

It’s only fun if you never get caught.

Besides, he could only think of ‘The Great Food Fight’— “I’d like to think of it as ‘A Great Waste of Good Food’” Yeonjun would quip— that was worthy of being considered an incident that disrupted his morning peace. 

The Sixth-Year sighed, bringing the steaming mug of black tea to his lips as he stole a glance to his left. The tall student beside him gasped and was now reading the Daily Prophet upside down to appear nonchalant. 

He looked like a bad spy in an equally bad B-rated spy movie.

“Soobin, I say this with utmost love and as your best friend in the whole wide world: what the fuck are you doing?” 

Beomgyu knew the answer, but he loved to push his friend’s buttons more than he knew he should. He took great pleasure in seeing the satisfying pink blush across skin; the panicked expression and the frustration that followed after.

Shh! Soobin mouthed as he hunched even lower in his seat, burying his head into the paper. As if the moving upside down picture of the newly elected Minister Kim was interesting to him. 

Beomgyu rolled his eyes and leaned into Soobin’s side, craning his neck to look past the shoulder of the students sitting in front of him. If one did not know of Choi Soobin’s unbecoming love life, they wouldn’t know where to look. 

But Beomgyu knew.

Straight ahead, amidst the moving students and the seated House mates of blue and bronze, was no one other than Kang Taehyun. The boy was reading a book, golden rimmed glasses perched atop the bridge of his nose as he stabbed his fork absentmindedly into his cream cheese bagel. He didn’t even bother wiping the smear of cream on his chin, too engrossed in whatever he was reading. 

But he did look up, then. His eyes easily sought out Beomgyu’s and the elder beamed.

He felt Soobin sink lower in his seat as if crawling under the table would resolve all of his problems. Shaking his head in disapproval, Beomgyu yanked at Soobin, effectively jostling the other from his hiding spot. The taller of the two squeaked and widened his eyes as he looked at Beomgyu, silently pleading for him to stop doing whatever it was that he was going to do. 

But Beomgyu was a Gryffindor through and through. Cowardice was a concept he refused to accept. Soobin foresaw his impending doom deep within the younger’s eyes that shone with unbridled mischief.

“Hi Taehyun!” Beomgyu yelled excitedly, waving his arm in the air and pulling Soobin to do the same. The elder could only give a tiny wave while smiling awkwardly. He felt the intensity of the blush settle stubbornly on his cheeks and he hoped that Taehyun would not be able to see it from this distance.

That, and he was torn between wanting to jump off the astronomy tower or hex his sorry excuse of a best friend.

A few students looked their way, and some laughed at the exchange— Taehyun included. The Fifth Year Ravenclaw waved back regardless, full-toothed smiles and curved eyes. 

Soobin’s hand stuttered mid-wave. He felt the familiar thump-thump-thump of his heart as Taehyun became his sole focal point. All other students faded behind a blurred backdrop, until it was just Taehyun. Taehyun and his messy dark brown hair, fluffed in the morning as usual; Taehyun and his full cheeks and bright laughter; Taehyun and his lovely round eyes that seemed to hold the world, the same eyes that were smiling at him.

A sigh slipped past his lips. How he wished he had all the time in the world to stare at the very person who managed to seize his heart like this; who made his soul sing for him, the center of his attention and the one he adored the most. 

He did not realize that time had rewound itself, and suddenly the world was no longer comprised of just him and Taehyun. The Ravenclaw had already diverted his attention to speaking with his House mates, and Soobin’s ear twitched at the obnoxiously loud slurping on his right.

He turned to Beomgyu, and his best friend had the gall to smile that impish little smile of his— lips pursed and curved upwards. “I thought you’d never take your eyes off of him.”

“You’re the worst, do you know that?” Soobin punched the grey-haired boy on the arm. “Can you stop embarrassing me in front of him for once? It’s giving me a bad rep.”

“Me?” Beomgyu squawked in response, offended. “Who was it that smacked his face into a column earlier this week when Taehyun was coming over to talk to us? And then you fainted! Honestly, Soob, I thought that was some world class acting just so you could wake up in Taehyun’s lap—” 

Soobin waved his hands in a panic, slapping them over Beomgyu’s rapid mouth before he spoke another word. He could feel his ears burning red at the memory. 

Both he and Beomgyu had been waiting for their friends in the central courtyard when he saw Taehyun’s familiar figure amongst the crowd. Thinking the Fifth-Year wouldn’t notice him, Soobin had fixated his gaze on him, head stuffed with cotton candy thoughts of the younger— sweet and dripping with guarded affection. 

He had been blissfully lost in a sea of his own daydreams that he failed to realize Taehyun making his way towards them. Only when the younger brunette was a couple of feet away, mouth opened and ready to greet his Gryffindor friends, did Soobin turn on his heels to run away. It was a knee-jerk reaction, involuntary. 

Beomgyu’s cry of warning came too late to his ears as his forehead met with the stone column just behind him— hard.

When he came to, the first face to greet him was Taehyun’s worried one, albeit upside down. 

“Soobin-hyung, are you alright?” Soobin felt his heart positively melt at the way Taehyun had asked; gentle and filled with so much care, reserved only for him. 

The younger’s fingers hovered just above the ugly bump on his forehead. Soobin winced when he felt contact, and his pained expression was instantly mirrored by Taehyun. He mouthed a ‘sorry’, and Soobin was absolutely smitten.

‘I’m fine, Taehyun-ah’ , was already on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to reassure the younger that everything was okay, to wipe the frown off of that pretty face.

But then two other faces shoved themselves into view alongside Taehyun’s, and the words died in his throat. Soobin was forced to endure rapid-fire questions from the youngest of their group, Huening Kai— Beomgyu contributed by yelling in his face, a sign that he cared— while Yeonjun stood to the side, snickering as the whole scene unfolded. 

It had been embarrassing when Beomgyu retold the incident, loud enough for the other students passing by to hear. His flair for the dramatics further enabled him to insert unnecessary additions to the earlier scene that obviously did not happen. 

Soobin had brushed it off as a mere accident, though his entire face matching the color of his House betrayed him in saving the last shred of Gryffindor dignity he had. 

As his friends chattered on and joked about, Soobin felt a pair of eyes on him. Taehyun was glancing at him, lower lip jutted and eyebrows drawn ever so slightly, alternating his attention between their other friends and inspecting the huge red bump in the middle of Soobin’s forehead. There was still that softness in his eyes that were present when Soobin awoke to him.

He remembered flashing the boy his signature dimpled grin. Although it took some time, slowly a small smile formed on Taehyun’s lips, and that was enough for Soobin’s heart to settle into an ease. He could not stand to see Taehyun without a smile on his face. 

His smile was magic— at least, to Soobin. 

In fact, everything about the younger Ravenclaw was magic. Soobin did not mean in a literal way, seeing as they were wizards with magical abilities. But it was the way his very presence alone brought a calm to Soobin’s heart— made it jump and flip on many other occasions, but for the most part, a tidal wave of warmth washed itself over his heart, and the waters were steady there. 

It was in the way the space surrounding him became infinitely brighter; gloomy days became remarkably sunny, and unfortunate events turned into laughing fits and shared smiles that burned themselves into memories he would cherish deeply. 

Every day spent with Taehyun was magical, and Soobin came to love all of him. 

For wasn’t love the most powerful form of non-imitable magic of all? Pure and eternal, raw. 

Soobin had realized this, came to terms with his feelings four months prior, but had never gotten the courage to face them. It was ironic, seeing as being courageous was a core Gryffindor trait, something that Soobin lacked in the feelings department.

“You’re hopeless, do you know that?” Beomgyu was saying as they exited the Great Hall. “Whatever happened to asking him out this year?”

“I’ve told you before. I’m not even sure Taehyun likes me that way.”

“That’s why you have to ask him, Soob. Just talk to him.” Simple, like it was the most natural solution in the world. 

Soobin wasn’t like Beomgyu, who had strode up to the star player of the Slytherin Quidditch team and boldly asked him out. It worked tremendously in his favor, much to Soobin’s shock, because it was simple for Beomgyu. 

But Soobin found it to be an impossibly daunting approach and would very much like to steer clear from it. 

The taller Gryffindor groaned, “Can we please not do this right now, Gyu? I told you my reasons.”

His friend scoffed beside him but did not press further. They descended the stairs towards the dungeons, where Potions classes were normally situated, and arrived just in time before Professor Li started the lesson.

The class went by in a flash, as do all Potions classes. Soobin enjoyed potion-making, liked the way the concoctions he brewed would simmer and bubble in the cauldron; the way the scent of the potions could potentially harm or bewitch his senses. In a way, it was like baking. But using much more dangerous ingredients that, if wrongly applied, could procure disastrous results.

He had just completed brewing his Potion for Dreamless Sleep when Professor Li visited his table to inspect it. The middle-aged man took one look into his cauldron and nodded approvingly.

“Well done, Choi,” was all he said before he moved on to Beomgyu’s cauldron and said the same thing.

Beomgyu stretched, easing out the knots in his neck and shoulders after hunching for the entirety of the class. He came over to Soobin’s space as the latter was tidying up his table, “I’m so glad we got Professor Li this year. Remember Professor Soh? That bastard was hellbent on failing us for Potions in our O.W.L.s.” 

“Yeah,” Soobin shivered at the memory. 

His Fifth Year was especially draining not just because of O.W.L.s, but because of a certain Slytherin professor who had a hate bone for Gryffindor students. Soobin was still rightly pissed that he only achieved ‘Exceeds Expectations’ for his Potions exams when he knew he excelled in the subject. But he was just glad it was a grade that allowed him to continue taking Advanced Potions for his N.E.W.T levels. 

As class neared its end, the professor decided to go through the learning module for the coming week. “As you know, you will be exposed to brewing and exacting higher level potions in your Sixth Year as preparation for your N.E.W.T.s. Hence, for the next few weeks, I will be sharing with you some of the potions that you will be able to brew in future classes.”

“Among the list of highly advanced potions are Veritaserum, Felix Felicis and Amortentia.”

At the mention of Amortentia, the infamously dangerous yet potent love potion, the class began to buzz with waves of excited whispers. Soobin felt a sharp elbow jab to his ribs and glared at Beomgyu, only to regret it.

He knew that look on Beomgyu’s face, the look that spelt trouble.

“That’s it!” Beomgyu said with an air of finality, excited about this idea of his that would surely work— Soobin begged to differ, of course. Most of the mishaps he and his friends had gotten into were due to Beomgyu’s ideas .

Much to Soobin’s unfortunate predicament, he knew exactly what Beomgyu was thinking. And he was not going to entertain it.

“Beomgyu, no—”

“Beomgyu yes!” 

Soobin prayed to every God he could think of to save himself from whatever Choi Beomgyu was planning.

(It did not work.)

— ★ —

“No. No, no, no, and no,” Soobin stressed as he paced back and forth in the Gryffindor Common Room. He and his friends, excluding Taehyun, were gathered near the fireplace to discuss Beomgyu's big plan.

“It won’t work! Love potions only induce infatuation; not real love. Besides, he’s going to remember everything under the potion’s effect. He’s going to hate me once the potion wears off.” 

The agitated Sixth-Year threw his hands up. He swept his gaze amongst his friends and made sure his disapproval could be felt by everyone. Kai and Yeonjun— how the Fat Lady agreed to let a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin into the Gryffindor Tower was beyond Soobin’s comprehension, but he was sure Beomgyu had a hand in it— shared a look before glancing back at the instigator of the subject. 

Beomgyu was unfazed, confident even. He waved off Soobin’s worries and pointed to the open page of the potions book he had borrowed from the library earlier that evening.

“We’re not going to administer Amortentia to him, Soob, relax. I’m not that big of an idiot to not know the consequences of that,” Beomgyu ignored the raised eyebrows from the rest, though he reached out to smack his boyfriend’s leg. 

“Hyung, not you too,” he whined, “C’mon guys, have a little faith in me! We’re helping Soobin with his love life crisis!” 

“I didn’t ask for help!”

“I know, Beoms. We all want to help him, but are you sure it’s safe?” the blue-haired senior cut in. Although brash and usually the leader when it came to their group’s more hazardous plans, Yeonjun was a steady anchor of reason when the situation called for it. More often than not, he would be the one to convince Beomgyu to not follow through with some of his ideas. 

Beomgyu let out a frustrated noise, “Of course it is. What I’m merely suggesting is a mild love potion that you can brew yourself and give it to him on the same day— look, see here: ‘Effects will wear out within the day. This potion exhibits low potency, where the consumer will feel the barest of its effects, and display affection to the giver in a more open and natural manner should it have been previously concealed.’ ”

A small pause, then: “This is fucking crazy,” Soobin dragged his hands across his face, moaning at the thought of poisoning Taehyun just so he could tell him his feelings.

“Or, you could make it easier on yourself and talk to him, you fucking dunce.”

And before the two could spiral into another one of their hours-long bickering session, Kai thought aloud: “So it’s just like a confession, right? If Soobin-hyung doesn’t know about Taehyun’s feelings before, then with this potion, it would confirm everything?”

“Yes, exactly, Kai. Thank you!” Beomgyu cheered, finally glad that someone understood his viewpoint. 

“I can’t believe no one’s listening to me,” the tallest of the group groaned.

Soobin was still doubtful. He mulled over the idea and a part of him agreed that it was a sound solution, but a bigger part of him still thought it to be wrong. What if this potion created artificial feelings for Taehyun? 

His heart would not take the leap, and he feared it would never be ready to. His friends knew his reasons. He confided in Beomgyu first before the younger told Yeonjun and eventually Kai. 

“I’m scared, Gyu.”

“Scared? Of Kang Taehyun?” Beomgyu had scoffed, incredulous. It was just the two of them in the Gryffindor Common Room. The crackling of fire from the hearth was the only accompaniment to an otherwise hushed environment.

“This is our friend we’re talking about, Soob. There’s nothing to be afraid of. This is the same person who helps you with your History of Magic homework and the one who always gets us out of mucky situations. Hell, you and Taehyun are inseparable sometimes, like you come in a 2-in-1 package.”

Soobin rubbed his temples; his head was a mess. “That’s not it— You know what, let’s just drop this topic.”

“Hey.” A reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, and Soobin looked up at his friend. “Soob, tell me. What are you afraid of?” 

Rejection. And the inevitability of drifting apart if he ever confessed. 

That was what hindered Soobin, staving off his approach to the Ravenclaw boy for a little over four months now. He was glad Beomgyu understood him at first, and his friend had tried so many ways to encourage Soobin that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if Taehyun said ‘no’, and that if Taehyun decided to stop being friends with them, then it was his of his own volition, not Soobin’s.

But Soobin was happy with his life now— surrounded by great friends with whom he found his second home in. He did not want to imagine a life without any one of them. He found them; they found him. And he would do anything to keep it that way.

Even if it meant keeping his feelings from Taehyun for the rest of his life.

“So, what do you say?” Beomgyu’s tone was hopeful. His friends were all staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

“I think you should give it a shot, hyung,” Kai nodded. “The potion only acts as an emotion booster. Taehyun, if he really has feelings for you, won’t even know the difference. He’ll think he’s slowly confessing to you.”

Soobin opened his mouth to say something, to retort that statement when Yeonjun slung his arm over his shoulders, firm. The Slytherin senior gave him a lazy cat smile, but there was fire in his eyes, similar to the proud and confident expression he would wear before every Quidditch match. 

“You haven’t even tried, so how do you know it’s going to fail?” 

“Just try.”

The fire from the hearth was low as Soobin stared at the blinking embers, biting his bottom lip as he contemplated his decision. Surprisingly enough, his heart had already settled on an answer. 

He turned to Beomgyu again. “What do I need for this love potion?”

— ★ —

As much as Soobin fretted over the entire plan backfiring on them, nothing could have prepared him for actually following through. 

He had no problem brewing the love potion; it was simple and required very little ingredients that were thankfully not complex, and he was glad he didn’t have to steal or smuggle materials from the apothecary. 

No, none of those were difficult. What proved to be an arduous task, much more daunting than the thought of facing his O.W.L.s twice, was actually giving it to Taehyun.

Soobin stood stock still and alert by the double doors of the Great Hall, eyes trained on the entrance in case a certain Ravenclaw Fifth-Year emerged from it. He held a paper bag of freshly baked cookies, shifting from one foot to another awkwardly.

There were so many instances where he wanted to turn tail and leave, to tell his friends that he couldn’t do it after all. But then the student he had been waiting for walked out from the hall, and Soobin’s feet were on immediate autopilot. 

“Taehyunnie, hi!” 

The brunette was pleased to see him, “Oh, Soobin-hyung, hi! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

It was a mistake to look directly into Taehyun’s eyes as he spoke, for they were like magic orbs that held all the stars in the night sky. It glittered when the candle light bounced from it, taking away Soobin’s breath as he stumbled over his words.

Come on, Soobin. Just give it to him! He berated himself, willing his body to take action.

“Uh, here, I—”

“Taehyun, what are you doing? Come on or we’ll be late,” someone called out from the top of the stairs. A few Ravenclaw students were lagging behind, waiting for their friend. 

When Soobin looked back at the younger male, he knew he had lost his first chance. Taehyun dipped his head apologetically before jogging towards his friends, “Sorry, hyung. I gotta get to class now. See you later?”

And he did not wait for the elder to respond as he reached the top of the stairs and rejoined his House mates. Soobin was left standing in the hallways of the Great Hall with a bag of chocolate chip cookies that had gone cold.

Beomgyu smacked him on the back in still good spirits that night when they were in their room, guffawing as Soobin recounted his failed attempt.

“Soobs, c’mon. It was just bad timing. You’ll get him on the next one, I know you will!” 

Sometimes, Soobin wished he had Beomgyu’s blinding optimism, even if said optimism was oftentimes baseless and relied on sheer dumb luck. 

But he conceded in the end. He admitted that it was done at an inconvenient time when students were rushing to their first periods. He just needed to try again.

Besides, he had stocked up on the ingredients in case he had wrongfully concocted the potion or failed to administer it to his subject. He still had his chances, and he was going to try and make them count.

It was funny, really, how increasingly determined Soobin came to be as he brewed the love potion each morning before class— its expiry was within the day— and snuck into the Hufflepuff kitchens to bake a dessert to conceal it within. 

He attributed his small bout of bravery to the fact that he wouldn’t have to outright ask Taehyun if he liked him as much as he liked Taehyun, but rather let a medium do the talking for Taehyun. 

It was fool-proof, and maybe Soobin should have given his best friend more credit where it was due. But he did not want to risk Beomgyu boasting about it to his face. He would rather let the younger wheedle for that kind of praise from him. 

After learning from the first attempt, Soobin chose his next approach carefully and strategically. 

On Thursdays, Taehyun would usually hole himself up in the library for a good two hours to study, and normally his friends weren’t allowed to disrupt his concentration— both Kai and Beomgyu had faced the consequences in the past, and Soobin did not dare ask what had befallen the two when they came back with feathers coming out of their mouths like water from an opened pipe— but Soobin had asked if he could join him for a short while. 

And Taehyun was more than happy to have some company.

Soobin’s leg jiggled incessantly as he waited for the younger Ravenclaw to return with the required revision books. He took a peek into his book bag and saw the neatly wrapped madeleines; could faintly smell the deliciously warm and sugary aroma of the sponge cakes. 

He had spiked the cakes with the love potion, being very meticulous with the amount of drops for each and was careful not to have botched the process. All that was left for him to do was to hand it over to Taehyun as a stress-relieving snack while he studied.

A grunt came from behind him and the next thing he knew, he was staring at a mountain of grimoires that he was sure most of them were not included in the O.W.L syllabus. Soobin gasped after reading some of the most bizarre titles on the dust-covered spines.

“Taehyun-ah, are you sure you’re sitting for your O.W.L.s? These look like N.E.W.T level subjects to me,” Soobin wrinkled his nose incredulously. He knew Taehyun loved knowledge, craved it even. But this was insane even for him.

The boy shook his head, smiling in amusement at Soobin’s comment. “I’m not going through all of them, silly. I just like to read up more information on a spell or potion so I can understand its nature better. Not everything is explained in our textbooks, you know.”

Taehyun let out a laugh at the way Soobin scrunched up his face, clearly not favoring the idea of doing more reading than what was already allocated in their thick textbooks. 

They settled into a quiet calm as they started their own study sessions— Taehyun with reviewing what he learnt throughout the week and Soobin with his impossibly difficult Defense Against the Dark Arts homework.  

Theory was never Soobin’s strong point, as it was evident when he needed Taehyun’s help the year before in studying for History of Magic. And even with the amount of reference books Soobin could find in the library, he could only answer two out of eight pages from his homework sheet. 

He ruffled his hair in frustration and glanced over to his study buddy to see how he was faring. Not that Soobin had to worry about Taehyun sharing his plight. 

Kang Taehyun was the brightest wizard of his age, top of his class and was expected to achieve ‘Outstanding’ in all twelve O.W.L.s. How he was able to cope with so many subjects was beyond Soobin’s comprehension, but he had always been in awe at the younger’s thirst for more — more wisdom, more experience, more than what this world had to offer.

It was never enough for Taehyun. Soobin thought that to be a powerful if not endearing quality. 

“You done, hyung?” Taehyun suddenly spoke up, although his eyes never lifted from the huge grimoire about magical creatures. “Or are you daydreaming again? You keep looking at me.”

Taehyun, the little devil he could be sometimes, turned to Soobin and smirked, “Do you need any help with your homework?”

Soobin spluttered, his face going bright red after having been caught staring. “Yah. Watch it, Kang Taehyun. You little troll.”

He tried his best to remain stern, making sure his voice did not waver as the younger Ravenclaw laughed with mischievous glee at his response. Soobin racked his brain for a witty comeback when he remembered the ulterior reason he decided to study with Taehyun today. 

“I’m just craving for a snack. I get hungry when I’m stressed. You know that.”

Taehyun checked the time and nodded sagely, “Well, it’s only been an hour. I guess we can take a short break.”

Soobin took it as his cue to pass him the love potion-induced madeleines. He slid the neatly wrapped sponge cakes towards Taehyun’s side of the table, complete with a pink ribbon to denote it was for him— Soobin’s was tied with a red ribbon. 

“I baked those this morning. There were a couple of rejects so it’s only right if I have them. You can have the good ones.”

His heart was pounding so hard that the vibrations reached his ears. He saw Taehyun’s eyes widen with feline-like interest as he unraveled the white paper wrapper to reveal the little golden shell-shaped cakes. 

“Wow, madeleines? They look tasty, hyung. Thanks!”

Soobin beamed at the praise, but the smile did not remain long on his lips. He stared in mute panic as Taehyun re-wrapped the madeleines and shoved it into his book bag. The elder’s mouth opened and closed, like a fish gasping for air, loss for words. 

He cleared his throat and chuckled, “O-oh. I thought we were gonna eat them together. Like, as in right now.” 

The look Taehyun gave him was innocent. He tilted his head, “You can go ahead, hyung. I don’t usually snack when I’m studying. It distracts me. But I’ll eat them when I get back to the dorms, okay? And then I’ll give you a rating.”

Oh. 

Well, no matter. Soobin tried to remain hopeful still.

He made sure to ask Taehyun again the next day if he had tried his desserts, but from the way Taehyun spoke to him, he knew the younger did not consume the madeleines the night prior. There would have been a difference, right? Soobin paid close attention to any change in behaviour, but Taehyun was still Taehyun. 

“Oh, hyung, I’m so sorry. I forgot to eat them and when I checked this morning, they’ve already gone bad.” Taehyun looked regretful, more so upon seeing Soobin’s dejected expression. The elder tried to wave it off, saying it was alright.

But the guilty Ravenclaw insisted that he help Soobin make another batch so he could eat them on the spot. This provided Soobin with a ray of hope. 

Third time’s always the charm, right?

Wrong.

As the madeleines were just about perfectly baked and ready to pull out from the oven, they heard voices coming their way. Kai, who had snuck them into the Hufflepuff kitchens, turned to Soobin.

No one was supposed to be here at this time!, he mouthed. He was just as alarmed as the both of them. 

With no time to flee from the scene, Taehyun grabbed Soobin’s arm and shoved themselves into the small broom cupboard at the corner of the kitchen. They held their breath as a group of Hufflepuffs entered the room. They chattered amongst themselves and to Kai, asking if the Fifth-Year was baking something, that it smelled delicious. 

Soobin heard Kai say something, and then he heard the oven door opening and the cheers of delight from the students as they presumably gobbled up his madeleines. Madeleines that were initially reserved for Taehyun. 

Soobin wanted to scream so badly. 

His head, right down to his entire body were pounding from the nerves— from the nervousness of talking to Taehyun today, thinking he had consumed the cakes, the anticipation of a successful third try, and now this : standing so close to each other in this crammed storage box, their limbs clumsily entangled in an attempt to stay upright and prevent anything from falling over.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.

The crazed beating of his heart drowned out the voices on the other side of the cupboard. Everything was silent, as if he and Taehyun were in another world altogether, and he willed his heart to shut up lest the younger could hear it; hear how his heart was going absolutely mad because of him.

He tried to rationalize that being this close to Taehyun was natural, as they’ve done so many times before. Hell, they’ve hugged and cuddled before, and Soobin had no qualms in initiating physical affection with his friends, especially to Taehyun. 

It wasn’t something drastic for his whole nervous system to go haywire over. But somehow this was different. 

It was because Soobin liked Taehyun, and he was doing this just so Taehyun would come to know of it as well.

Ironically, luck, as Soobin soon came to conclude, was not on his side.

After the fiasco in the Hufflepuff kitchen, Soobin enlisted the help of his friends for the next attempt, which turned out to be the worst one yet, and Soobin wished he could undo the disastrous result. 

In his haste, he had unknowingly grabbed a different bottled potion from the shelf and had accidentally spiked the tarts he nabbed from the Great Hall with what he later found out to be Beomgyu’s ‘experimental’ Polyjuice Potion.

Taehyun had sprinted to the boy’s lavatory after a bite of the tart and did not return after some time. When Yeonjun went to investigate, they heard a scream and rushed to the source. They found the Slytherin stuck against the wall, unmoving, mortified at the ‘thing’ in front of him. 

“Oh my god, it worked?” was the first thing Beomgyu said, which might have also been the wrong thing to say under the circumstances. 

Soobin did not even want to know what exactly Taehyun had turned into. The ‘thing’ that was also Taehyun wailed at them in an eerie way, a sound that crawled into their nightmares even to this day, and the boys had scrambled to find an antidote to reverse the effects.

(Beomgyu took full responsibility for this one, making it seem as though it was his idea to prank Taehyun. 

It took a lot of cajoling and apologies for the younger boy to let the incident slide. By the end of the night, his smile and laughter returned, and all was well.)

— ★ —

“You look like shit.”

Soobin rolled his eyes, stifling a yawn in the process. “Thanks, Gyu. That’s really flattering.” 

He had been staying up late for the past few nights agonizing over the different ways he could get Taehyun to consume the love potion. All of his previous attempts had failed spectacularly, and he felt as though it was time to finally admit defeat and go back to keeping his heart guarded from the boy he loved.

But that was the thing: he didn’t really want to give up. Not yet, at least. 

“Hello, students. I’m sorry I’m late,” came Professor Li’s voice as he made his way to the front of the class. “I’d like you all to gather up here, right by this cauldron I’ve specially set up for today’s lesson.”

And the moment the professor lifted the lid of the cauldron, Soobin sat up straight— eyes wide open, sleep forgotten, as he inhaled the alluring aroma from the rising steam of whatever concoction was in that cauldron. Without realizing, he was already at the front of the class with everyone else. His classmates seemed to be in a similar dazed state as he was.

As he drew nearer, letting the fumes caress him and entice him, spreading throughout his body like wildfire, he came to recognize the scents— of musty old parchments, of strawberry shortcake, and of a heady fragrance that sent his mind reeling. 

The sweet smell reminded him of a memory that seemed to happen so long ago; bodies pressed together in a broom cupboard, the breath of the person tickling his throat, and the deep brown strands that smelled of wildflowers and all manner of things that were beautiful.

Taehyun’s hair. 

The last scent was of Taehyun’s shampoo.

Soobin knew he was red in the face at this revelation, could feel the aching heat at the base of his neck all the way up to his ears. The professor’s voice was reduced to whitenoise as he introduced Amortentia, the world’s most powerful love potion. 

But the only thing— or person— on his mind was Taehyun. 

Taehyun. Taehyun. Taehyun. 

All of it was Taehyun— old and yellowed parchments from his long hours in the library; strawberry shortcake because that was the cake he had baked for his birthday, and he remembered how Taehyun’s eyes had sparkled when he blew out the candles, how his face lit up at the first bite of his favorite cake; wildflowers from his shampoo that he had been using for years, an unmistakable flowery scent that would lead Soobin right to him even if he were lost in a sea of people.

“Woah…” a voice piped up from beside him.

And the thing about Amortentia was that it heightened your senses towards your current object of infatuation, and just from the way the person spoke, Soobin instantly knew who it was.

He screamed.

The whole class broke free from the potion’s trance upon his sudden exclamation. Soobin gaped, eyes bulging and ready to come out of their sockets as he stammered at the sight of Taehyun in his Potions class.

“W-wh-what are you doing here?”

“Ah, my apologies, everyone,” Professor Li cleared his throat, “Today I have with me three of my best Fifth-Year students. They will be joining our advanced lessons from this day forth.” 

“Now, the assignment for today is already on your desks. The vials are filled with Amortentia, and I want you to draft a report on the side-effects and possible dangers of this potion.”

“On that note, you are under no circumstances allowed to take that vial out of this classroom,” Professor Li warned. He closed off the big cauldron with a loud bang! to ensure his instruction was understood by all. 

Soobin practically sprinted towards his table in an attempt to avoid Taehyun. He could finally breathe once he was at a safe distance— the Fifth-Years were all given seats at the front of the class, far from Soobin, and he was thankful for the arrangement.

He was still visibly shaken, remnants of the potion and of his favorite scents clung to him deeply, almost like wine stains on carpet, impossible to remove. Beomgyu noticed this and gave his arm a squeeze. 

“That was insane, huh?” Soobin could only nod assent, his tongue still too heavy to speak. 

He took a peek towards the first row, and wondered if the boy knew too. He wondered, almost obsessively, what Taehyun had smelled when he came close to the cauldron.

Without really meaning to, that was all he wanted to know. He needed to know.

Soobin pulled out the lesser love potion he had brewed this morning, stared and stared at the vial; eyes alternating between the back of Taehyun’s head, the younger oblivious to his frenzied thoughts, and to the potion. 

Until an idea came to him. He relayed it to Beomgyu and his best friend nodded excitedly, giving him a thumbs up. 

The plan was to have lunch together in one of the quieter courtyards of the castle, a little farther away from the Great Hall. He and Taehyun would grab their lunch before making their way to the spot— Beomgyu would then fetch Yeonjun and Kai and meet them there.

It was easy to pull Taehyun along with them since he was in the same class. Taehyun had agreed almost immediately.

As Soobin trailed behind the Ravenclaw boy, both hands holding plates stacked high with various foods from the Great Hall, he precariously balanced one on his arm as he reached for the love potion in his pocket. Uncapping the vial, he quickly added a few drops of the liquid onto the shine muscats— a fruit he knew Taehyun liked to have as a meal starter— and watched as the white sheen masked itself as the fruit’s natural glow.

They reached the small courtyard and set their plates down on one of the benches. There were not a lot of students around this part of the castle, and Soobin was glad that he stumbled upon this place on one of his walks.

While waiting for their other friends to arrive, Soobin went forward with his plan. “I guess we can start eating. I’m starving.”

Taehyun giggled at that, and it made Soobin’s insides melt into sweet butter. “Yeah. Knowing them, they’re gonna be super late. Pass me the shine muscats.” 

Soobin chewed on his bottom lip, eyes wide with anticipation as Taehyun popped the green grape into his mouth. As the brunette munched with a tiny smile on his lips, savoring the sweetness, it slowly stretched into a huge grin that made his cheeks full and his right dimple pop. He stopped chewing midway and snapped his head up towards Soobin. There was a manic glint in the way he stared at him; eyes glazed over and pupils rounder than they had ever been. 

“Soobinnie-hyung,” Taehyun gasped as if breathless. He was tilting his head, that goofy smile still on his lips as he stared at the elder in a way he had never done before.

There were alarm bells ringing in Soobin’s head, nagging at him that something was wrong. Very wrong.

The potion’s effects shouldn’t be this obvious. 

Before he could say anything, Taehyun launched himself at him and engulfed him in a tight hug. “I missed you. I missed you so much. I want to stay with Soobinnie-hyung forever.”

Oh.

Soobin’s thoughts were running a hundred miles per hour, gears stuttering and fuming as he willed the rational side of his brain to calm down and think. He tried to pry Taehyun away from him, a little embarrassed at the bold display of affection from the younger, but it was like trying to separate glue from paper. It was impossible. 

And the worst part was that Taehyun wouldn’t stop talking. The words spilling from his mouth made Soobin’s head spin, delirious. He could feel steam coming out of his ears at the things he was spouting.

“My Soobinnie-hyung is so pretty. The prettiest in the world. Everything about hyung is pretty— your eyes, your nose, your dimples, oh, I could kiss your dimples, hyungie. They’re so pretty when you smile.”

There was a pregnant pause after that last statement. Soobin felt like a boiling kettle ready to burst at any given moment, because Taehyun was staring at his lips. 

“I could kiss you.”

“Whoa! Wait, wait. Taehyun-ah!” Soobin panicked. He held out his arm to keep Taehyun at bay, but the younger was already on top of him, successfully caging him and his face was so close—

Someone whistled and was closely followed by raucous cheering. Soobin turned to see his three other friends arriving with their lunch. 

“Can’t believe you guys started without us!” Beomgyu said, waggling his eyebrows at the sight of them. “Look at you, you’re all over each other. I can’t believe my plan worked!” 

The nuances and knowing looks his friends were shooting his way were making him sick.

“No, guys, I fucked up! I really fucked up,” his voice cracked, pleading. Soobin wanted to cry. 

Because Soobin did not give Taehyun the love potion, the one that was supposed to have subtle effects on the subject, the one that he brewed just this morning and the one he had been trying to feed to him for several weeks now.

Soobin had given him Amortentia.

— ★ —

Professor Li was beyond upset. After administering the antidote to Taehyun, he called both of them into his study to lecture them on their disgraceful act of carelessness. 

Soobin felt terrible. In fact, he felt like throwing up. How could he have mixed up the vials of love potions during class? How could he have been so reckless in not realizing the unmistakable mother-of-pearl sheen of the Amortentia as he dropped it onto the shine muscats?

He stole a glance towards the Ravenclaw boy at his side and felt his heart plummet into his stomach. Taehyun was braving the waves of scoldings from the professor, but Soobin could see tears brimming in the corners of those expressive eyes. 

Taehyun would not look at him. 

“Permission to be dismissed, sir,” he said. His voice trembled with barely restrained anger and shame, and Soobin wanted to say something to appease him, to say he was sorry, but the professor acquiesced to his request and the boy turned on his heels and exited the room without so much as a glance back.

Soobin stared helplessly at his retreating back until he disappeared down the corridor. 

“What do you have to say for yourself, Choi?” Professor Li waved a hand and the door swung shut. It was just the two of them now. 

“The fact that you have been making these contraband love potions outside of class,” —the man shook the vial of Soobin’s potion, the vial that he had stupidly left behind instead of the vial of Amortentia— “completely unsupervised is beyond irresponsible for a student of your rapport. And today, not only have you used Amortentia on my student, but had brought it out of class, which was the total opposite of what I told you to do.”

“Professor, I—”

The man sighed gravely, “Detention, Choi. Detention for the rest of the year.”

Soobin kept his lips pursed, only able to nod solemnly at his punishment. He deserved it, and maybe he deserved something much more severe, like never being able to see Taehyun again.

He thought of him, of the trust he had betrayed and he felt even worse. His initial fear of losing Taehyun should he have confessed was rendered silly, almost idiotic. Even without going through all of that, he had already lost him. 

“I will speak with your Head of House about your actions later,” Professor Li was saying. “But for now, I would like you to go and talk to Kang.”

The young Gryffindor was surprised at the professor’s sudden leniency. His teacher was staring at him with kind eyes, understanding. He waved the door open. “That’s my best student, Choi. I would very much appreciate it if he does not miss my future classes because of you.” 

“Y-yes! Of course, sir. I’ll go talk to him,” Soobin bowed in great relief before bounding out of the office and through the dark corridor. He had to find Taehyun, he had to apologize to him, he had to.

Once he reached the main castle wing, he saw his friends waiting for him with worried looks. 

“We saw Taehyun running over to the Astronomy tower. Soobin, what happened—” 

“I’ll explain later!” was all Soobin said as he rushed towards the location Yeonjun just uttered.

Of course. 

The Astronomy tower was a place of calm for Taehyun. The younger boy had once told Soobin that he would climb up there to soothe his cluttered mind, away from people with only the stars in the night sky to keep him company. 

Sure enough, when he reached the topmost floor, he saw the younger brunette sitting by the open sill, hugging his knees close to his chest. It ached to see him like this, like a wilted flower. 

“What do you want, hyung?” Taehyun asked in a tone so icy, pure hostility dripping like poison from his lips. It raised the hairs on Soobin’s arms. 

He took a step forward and without looking, Taehyun spoke again, “Don’t come any closer. I’ve placed a charm on the floor. If you take one more step, it will send you flying back down the stairs.”

“Just… just go away,” the younger said, his voice muffled as he buried himself deeper into his arms. He sounded tired, close to tears, and normally Soobin would listen to him and respect his wishes.

But he had to right his wrongs, and if he had to be blasted into space just to have a chance to talk to Taehyun, then so be it.

“Okay. Okay, Taehyun. I won’t come near you,” Soobin yielded. He held up his hands as a sign he meant no harm. “I’ll just talk.”

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I tried to do to you. It was stupid of me, and it was wrong. I never should have used a cheap trick to get you to confess— I mean, well, to tell me your feelings so I wouldn’t have to ask you myself.”

“It was cowardly of me, I know. And I understand if you never want to speak to me again. Hell, I never want to speak to me again either if I were you,” he chuckled, awkward and out of place. He was babbling too much.

“I just. I just wanted you to know that, Taehyun. That I’m sorry.”

He let the silence engulf them, let his words sink in and hoped that it would reach Taehyun. From beyond the sill, he could hear the soft evening winds whisper low; saw how the sparse clouds parted to reveal a pale crescent moon. If he looked carefully, he could just make out tiny glittering stars speckled across the dark indigo skies.

A sniffle, and slowly Taehyun lifted his head to regard his visitor. Even from this distance and with minimal lighting, Soobin knew he had been crying. His eyes were a bloodshot red.

The boy took in a shaky breath and asked: “Why?”

Why not just talk to me? a simple word, yet it carried the burning question; brought forth the need to understand. Why go through all the trouble when you could have just asked me?

“Because,” Soobin squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled, ready to bare it all. Tonight he would let his heart run loose, finally. “Because I like— no, I love you, Taehyun. I love you so much.”

He thought he heard the faintest of gasps, but the words continued to tumble from his mouth, fueled by everything his heart had been dying to tell Taehyun for the longest of times. “I was too scared to tell you because I was scared to lose you, and I didn’t want to lose you. I was worried it would affect our friendship, so I didn’t.”

“And now here I am. I really hope you forgive me, Taehyun.” I hope we can still be friends .

Soobin could feel a blush creeping onto his cheeks, but it was nothing compared to how Taehyun looked— illuminated by moonlight, the boy’s cheeks were dusted rosy-red, and his eyes twinkled with tears and stardust, ethereal. His gaze never left Soobin’s.

“I lied.”

“E-excuse me?”

“There isn’t any charm on the floor, hyung. I was just bluffing.”

Soobin let out a huge sigh of relief despite himself and he heard Taehyun giggle quietly. The boy edged closer to the side of the sill to make space for Soobin. They sat cross-legged, facing each other. 

A brief pause laid between them before Taehyun huffed, “You’re such an idiot, do you know that, hyung?”

Ouch. “Yeah, I know.”

“Like, a huge fucking idiot. A stupid-head. You’re even dumber than Beomgyu-hyung and Kai when they tried to charm the custodian into making out with the wall just so we could sneak past him, or that other time when—”

“Okay, okay! I get it!” Soobin groaned. “I’m the biggest idiot in the world, I know.”

But they were both laughing now. The usual lively golden hues returned to Taehyun’s face, making him glow with a magic that was all of him, all of Kang Taehyun. Soobin adored this expression on him. Taehyun should smile forever, he thought. Taehyun was the most beautiful whenever he smiled.

As they came down from their high, silent giggles still leaving Soobin’s lips, he noticed that Taehyun had more to say. He fiddled with the edges of his sweater sleeves that were a size too big for his small frame.

“What’s wrong?” and he wished he didn’t ask, because nothing could have prepared him for Taehyun’s response. 

“I smelled freshly baked bread and vanilla scented candles.” 

As he said this, he refused to look the elder in the eye. He shied away, pretending to focus on something interesting on one of the distant minarets. Soobin saw a bloom of pretty pink spreading from the tips of his ears towards his face. 

“It was you who I smelled in the Amortentia, hyung.”

Freshly baked bread because Soobin loved bread, and he loved to bake. Vanilla candles because the scent helped him to sleep better at night, to chase away the bad dreams. 

Oh. Oh.

“Oh my god,” Soobin wailed and buried his burning face in his hands. Taehyun was right, he was stupid.

“I smelled you too. Old parchments, strawberry shortcake and your shampoo.” Wildflowers.

He heard Taehyun shuffle closer, until their knees knocked into one another. He felt the younger pry his fingers away from his still-red face. The shy smile Taehyun gave him sent a wave of adoration crashing into his heart.

“The strawberry shortcake,” he giggled softly. “That was the day I fell for you, hyung.”

“So I guess… I love you too, Soobinnie-hyung.”

His heart did a flip— or was it two flips?— at the confession from the younger boy, a confession that was true and pure with nothing to influence it. A confession straight from the very heart he loved the most.

Soobin huffed out a chuckle. With Taehyun’s hands still on his, fingers shyly intertwined, he brought them up to cup his face. Taehyun’s face was warm, and he could still feel the dried tears from when he had been crying. His thumbs swiped over the sticky trail; Taehyun melted into his touch almost instantly.

He leaned in, “Can I?” and the boy gave a tiny nod before slowly closing his eyes, his pretty lashes fluttering as he did so.

Soobin kissed the faded tears as atonement, kissed under his eyelids and down to both of his cheeks. His lips met with Taehyun’s pleasantly soft ones halfway, and he thought, if this was happiness, he wanted to drown in it forever. 

That if Taehyun was magic and he loved all of him, then he wouldn’t mind going into every tomorrow, together and forever, with him.