Chapter Text
elmo had a long day at work. working with the liuli pavilion, and with lantern rite on the way, the stress got to him. he needed some time at the wangsheng funeral parlour. not to plan his death - but, to talk to the guy he had been yearning to talk to for months… the one and only, zhongli.
strolling down the streets of liyue harbour, he waved hello to his comrades: chongyun and xingqiu.
”hello, elmo. it’s been long! what are you up to?” chongyun asks
”well, not really doing much. with lantern rite on the way - we need to prepare for a lot of things. oh- by the way.. do you have any clue where wangsheng funeral parlor is? you see, im-“
”who died.”
”NO! CHONGYUN… im looking for master zhongli.”
xingqiu interrupts since he’s sick of this bullshit
”it’s down that way. on your right. “ he said with a stern face
”thank you so much, xingqiu. i hope i’ll see you soon.”
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as elmo opened the door of wangsheng funeral parlor, a sweet, but not so innocent smile welcomed him. it was hu tao’s. a stranger which he had not seen before
”hi welcome !! it’s buy 1 get one free on coffins today!! our monday spec-“
“get the fuck out of my way” elmo was PISSED. he needed zhongli. “im looking for master zhongli. please navigate me in his direction. now.”
”u-uhhh yeah he-he’s in the office on the right…through those double doors!”
elmo stormed past her and knocked on zhonglis office.
”you may come in.”
zhongli’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he saw elmo. he had not seen him since the archon war
”ah, the furry archon, elmo, it’s nice to see you again.”
”sex- i mean rex lapis…it’s an honour to finally reunite with you!”
”i beg your pardon?”
”n-nevermind! u-uh a lot has happened since the archon war, how’s liyue doing now? i see you have chosen the name zhongli now, it’s quite fitting for a handsome man like you.”
”no. what the fuck did you just say to me, elmo. and why have you appeared in my presence. state your reason and when you plan to depart from this room.”
elmo sighs in disbelief. he only has one intention. after thousands of years, rex lapis has been the one he has adored and desired. before elmo dies, or moves onto the next life as he became a mortal a hundred years ago, he wants to live a peaceful and happy life with rex lapis. as his husband.
”zhongli, since you are the god of contracts, please can we sign a contract, together? i will discuss the formalities and rules with you. just please accept what im doing right now, this is the most important part of my mortal life.”
he nods.
”please, state your matter, as you wish.”
”dear rex lapis, i declare you may be my husband for the rest of my life. me, the furry archon- elmo, and you, the geo archon - zhongli will be binded by a contact. what we shall, from now on, call a lovers’ oath.”
elmo observes rex lapis’ facial expressions and notices how his cheeks blush a rosy red, and he now seems quite flustered.
”dear elmo. by the power vested in me, i declare we are now binded by an everlasting contract - a lovers’ oath. the furry archon and the geo archon are now in an unbreakable relationship.”
elmo and rex lapis smile at each other. elmo signs the contract and rex lapis does the same before storing it in a safe place. elmo kneels on the table where the contract previously was, and after a session of prolonged eye contact, leans in for a deep kiss.
elmo sits on rex lapis’ lap.