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In my head, years and years and years from now, Lucien and Elain are happy, together, and in love. Lucien is at a place where he is free to be happy. This is because while he deeply misses Jesminda, and will always deeply love her, he no longer feels guilt when he really thinks about his happiness with Elain and his love for her.
Lucien has long hair, as many Nobel males prefer. Not all, no, but many. It never bothered him, it was just something he was accustomed to. That was until he and Jesminda started their relationship.
Jesminda was a “Lesser Fae” living in a village with other lesser fae. The males in her village all had short hair, and Lucien quickly discovered why. See they all worked, physical labour. Farming, fishing, etc. The kind of jobs having long hair would be a great hindrance. The males in Jesminda’s village kept their hair short. Lucien was the son of a High Lord. He was never expected to work in such a way. Aside from training in the art of battle, he was expected to be the Noble High Fae, not to get his hands dirty, or sully himself with the chores and tasks of lesser Fae. Even if he wasn’t the favourite, he was still a High Lords son, and expected to act as such.
When Lucien and Jesminda had decided to become romantically involved, Jesminda would tell him each time Lucien had to leave, that the next time he visited to have his hair tied back. Lucien didn’t understand why, and didn’t tie his hair back until the fifth time being told, and even then, it wasn’t until he was out of sight from his house.
Jesminda, and her relationship with Lucien, really taught Lucien how to get his hands dirty, and that it was okay to do so. Lucien understood why she would tell him to tie his hair back, and so he started to do so. But even then his hair got in his way, so he would learn to tie it up in a tight knot(*cough* man bun *cough*) so it wouldn’t get in his way anymore.
Lucien never had to go gentle with Jesminda, in fact, in the beginning, it was the other way around. The Independent, Tough “Lesser Fae” that was Jesminda initially felt she had to be gentle with the Noble, Proper High Fae Lucien. She felt she had to go gentle with him until he felt comfortable getting his hands dirty himself.
In fact, I believe Luciens relationship with Jesminda would have been where Lucien learned to catch a fish with his bare hands. Perhaps it was a skill Jesminda had that Lucien insist she teach him.
Lucien and Jesminda quickly fell hard in love, just waiting for the mating bond to snap into place. He taught her that Nobles aren’t all assholes, and she taught him it’s okay to get his hands dirty. They fell in love hard.
Which is why being forced to watch her murdered was crushing on him. Why he tries to keep away from other females. Why he feels guilt anytime he thinks of Elain. He can’t bear the loss of Jesminda. Her death signals the break in him that the Autumn Court will never be his home again.
Elain on the other hand, is the exact opposite. With Elain, Lucien is the careful one. Never wanting to overstep his bounds.
Elain was brought up not to be cunning and ruthless like Nesta. Not to be a survivalist like Feyre. No, Elain is brought up as a proper lady. Though while poverty makes it difficult, she keeps up her ways as a proper lady, the best she can.
Not ordered to chop wood like Nesta. Not expected to provide like Feyre. She tries to keep some sense of being a proper lady, the best she can through poverty. While she keeps her smile the easiest in the change of wealth to poverty, it is the most difficult for her to adapt.
When she’s heals through her trauma, and starts to open up to the idea of figuring out the mating bond with Lucien, she can see he is the type of man she’s always wanted, even while she was still human. Proper, high status, Lords son.
They start out by going for walks, finding places that offer a quite, beautiful walk, with streams, and flowers, and privacy. They start out by going for walks.
When Lucien and Elain start getting more comfortable with these walks, this is when Lucien starts relaxing a bit more. And while Elain would never walk into a stream to catch fish with her bare hands, she enjoys watching Lucien do so. She enjoys seeing the joy on his face as he rolls his sleeves and pants up, ties his hair back, to catch fish, even if it is in the sense of showing off.
Elain can’t help but notice though, while he appears to be enjoying himself, she can see sadness flicker in his russet eye each time he catches a fish. It bothers her, because what would cause sadness about it. It eats away at her until one day, on their walk back home, she asks him about it.
Elain starts to think she over stepped because Lucien goes quiet, and stops walking. A look of sadness that Lucien is clearly trying to hide crosses his face, before he tells her.
Elain learns about the female named Jesminda, and how she was the one who showed Lucien it was okay to get your hands dirty, who taught him his fishing trick. And while she can’t help the pang of jealousy that courses through her upon hearing about Jesminda, Elain can help Lucien through his sadness.
She never pushes him to get over his sadness. Never pushes him to get over Jesminda. She accepts that Lucien truly and deeply loved Jesminda. She puts her jealousy aside, and she is there for Lucien whenever he needs.
Elain always gives Lucien space for a few hours when her presence is too much. He never tells her, but she knows when her presence is painful to him and he needs to remember the good times with Jesminda. So she excuses herself to go garden, knowing Lucien will always come join her when he is ready. She knows when he needs his time alone. She never discourages his love he still feels for Jesminda.
Long after Beron is dead, and Eris has become the High Lord of the Autumn Court Elain is the one to finally convince Lucien to return to the Autumn Court for visits. It has remained unspoken, but Lucien has been welcome back freely since Beron died.
Lucien rejects the offer at first, with a long argument that night. Why would she bring up going back to the Autumn Court, when she’s knows the pain it has caused him. They’re at a place in their relationship now that she really should know better. The others try sometimes, but upon the rigid anger they back off.
It’s when the anniversary of Jesmindas death nears that Elain sits Lucien down, and tells him that he should really consider going back. Just for a few hours. Visit with her grave, speak with her in the way one does when visiting a dead loved one. She feels it would really help him. With that, she stands up, and goes to get ready for dinner that night. Three days later, Lucien is giving his mother a hug in greeting, in the Autumn Court.
Elain went with him to the Autumn Court, she went for his support. Lucien refuses Elains company when time comes to visit Jesmindas grave. Elain knew he would, and she tells him she will be having tea with his mother when he is ready to return. He doesn’t return for a few hours, and Elain is there helping him through the emotions that crash over him.
Elain and Lucien are now happy together. That first visit to Jesmindas grave serving as a form of closure. While Jesminda always told him to tie his long hair back, Elain loves it. Loves braiding it, or finding ways to put a flower or two in it. She loves playing with it in the morning. Elain loves his long hair, and it is such a stark difference to how Jesminda viewed it.
Lucien and Elain visit the Autumn court every year at the same time. Each stay ranging from a few hours, to a few days.
Elain never goes with Lucien to visit Jesmindas grave, but she’s always there when he returns. Lucien speaks of all things to Jesminda. If he caught a large fish, the ways he’s learning to garden. He talks to Jesminda about Elain. Tells her how, while he knows Jesminda and Elain are completely different, he secretly hopes they would like each other if Jesminda were still alive.
With each year, Lucien is looking and feeling more happy than the last.
Then one year, far in the future, Lucien comes to Jesmindas grave with a little girl, maybe five years old. The girl has bright, curly red hair, accented with a flower behind her ear. She has big brown eyes, and the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. The young girl is carrying a bouquet of flowers. She stands to the side as Lucien goes through the normal greetings. The girl steps forward when Lucien looks to her.
Lucien explains to his daughter why they’re here, who they’re visiting, and why he sometimes looks sad after visiting. The little girl is excited though, because she brought with her flowers that she planted with her mother, special for this friend of her fathers they were visiting.
The sun starts to set, and Luciens daughter is getting tired, so they leave the grave earlier than he normally does. Besides, as his daughter will not let him forget, they have to be back to say good night to “Mummy belly before the baby inside falls asleep.”
They don’t leave before Lucien has a chance to thank Jesminda for all the lessons she taught him, how he holds them in his heart always, and will pass those same lessons to his children.
The two leave then, because Luciens daughter Jessie is practically pulling him back home. To her mother. To his mate. To his family.