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He checked his watch for the ten thousandth time in ten minutes. The stress was taking over him, had been slowly but surely in the last few hours. It was fairly normal, given that he was going to get married in less than an hour. The doubts that he had ignored for years were now all coming back at the same time. He was pacing around the room, loosening his tie then pulling on it again. Too many thoughts spinning in his mind. Doubts. Fears. Was Beth the right one? Did he love her enough to make it work? Wasn't he making an awful mistake? Everything mixed up, and nothing clear. Every single second, he was feeling more and more stressed. He tried to breathe deeply a few times, to calm himself, but it wasn't really working.
"- Okay, I've got the rings! Sorry it took so long!" he heard from the staircase, and turning towards it, he saw the radiant face of his best friend.
Her smile melted like snow under the desert sun when she saw the state of mind he was in, though. Instantly, she was by his side, her hand running up and down his back and whispering him comforting words, and when he looked at her, her smile was so soft and worried that his heart skipped a beat.
"- Here," she whispered. "Everything is fine, Owen. Everything's fine."
"- Is it really? I mean, I… I shouldn't stress like that, right?"
"- It's your wedding day! Everyone is nervous on their wedding day. It'll be alright, Owen, okay? You know what? Sit down for a second. Breathe."
He followed her advice and sat on the ground, right where he was. He leaned on, putting his head almost between his knees, breathing slowly. She kneeled down in front of him, rubbing his shoulder, and after a few seconds, she put her forehead against his. The combo of the soft warmth of her body and her fascinating scent had an instantaneous calming effect on the storm in his mind. He breathed in deeply. She could make most of his fears disappear, usually, but not those ones, not when she was the reason while he was doubting his whole wedding.
There was something about the way she was comforting him. Intimate. Something he didn't share with anyone else, and that made his doubts worse. He couldn't lie about the fact that he had feelings for Teddy. The strong kind. He also knew that he shouldn't have this kind of feeling on his wedding day. He shouldn't want another woman, today or even at all, not when he was about to get married.
After a while, though, he was feeling slightly better. Not enough to say that he was feeling good, but enough to go through the day, at least. Teddy must've sensed it, somehow, because she asked him "Are you feeling better?", and he nodded.
"- Yes. Thank you," he answered.
"- It's only natural, Owen. It's my job as a best man… and as your best friend."
"- I'm so glad you're here," he said, smiling at her.
He had argued with Beth about it. So much. He was almost sure that Beth didn't even want Teddy to be at the wedding, so being his best man… She had suggested every man that was coming, told him to ask someone at work, but he was adamant about this. If he needed someone to calm him, someone he could trust, someone he could tell his feelings to, it had to be Teddy. He couldn't see it otherwise. So he fought with Beth about it, until she finally gave up, and it had been worth it.
"- Are you kidding me?" She smiled at him even widely, arranging his collar and his tie. "It's your wedding! Of course I'm here."
He knew that she wasn't fully happy, though. He could see it in her eyes. She would've looked perfectly happy for anyone else, but not for him. He knew her better. He wanted to ask why, but the second their eyes locked, he forgot everything he was about to say. Despite the slight sadness he could see, there was something absolutely beautiful in her smile. Her hands were still gripping his collar, even though it was now perfectly arranged. Sparks were flying. He wanted to kiss her. She was tall, taller than Beth, so he wouldn't have to lean on much to kiss her…
Right. Beth. He was supposed to marry her today. He couldn't kiss Teddy.
The sparks faded at the same time for the both of them, when they realized what they were about to do. She let go of his collar and stepped aside, clearing her throat.
"- So, um… what was stressing you that much?"
"- Um…" He hesitated for a second, unsure of what he could say. "It's just that… I'm afraid of what could happen between Beth and me," he finally let out, because he was unable not to tell Teddy the truth. "What if we're not strong enough? I don't know… Maybe I'm making a mistake."
"- No worries. I'll be there if you need someone to drive the getaway car." They both laughed. "Seriously. Does she make you happy? Because that's the most important thing. That's why you should do it. Because you deserve to feel happy, and loved, and to laugh, to smile… You deserve it more than anyone else."
"- Thank you, Teddy," he said, smiling. "For everything."
She smiled softly.
"- You're welcome. Now, are you ready? Oh, your vows!"
She picked the slightly crumpled piece of paper from the table where he left it, opened it and started to read it.
"- Teddy! I told you I didn't want you to read it!" he complained. She asked him if she could read it the day before, when she arrived, and he had said no, but she was dying to see what he had written. She just wanted to see... what he was really feeling for Beth. She had heard so many things before this wedding, had heard him complain about his relationship and this wedding plenty of times, and she just hoped that... that he wasn't loving Beth as much as he used to. It was a desperate hope she was still clinging to, because if he didn't liked Beth anymore then maybe... Maybe...
She shook her head. She was stupid. It was literally his wedding day. It was too late to hope, to hold onto something that had no reason to exist, because that fire had never been fueled up. He had never done, or said, anything to encourage her that way.
"- Sorry, I just really wanted to see what you wrote," she apologized lightly, because she couldn't really feel sorry. "But why is there a scratch before your fiancée's name? Did you write someone else's name?" she said, laughing, even though it was mostly fake. His heart stopped for a second.
The vows. Beth had given him some pre-written vows she wanted him to say, but he just hated them. So he asked her if he could write some instead, and she loved the idea. He didn't think that it would be really hard, but he found himself struggling more than he imagined. He just couldn't find feelings for Beth that he wanted to put into words. He still hadn't written anything two days before. He was sitting at the table, trying to find something, for God's sake! but he couldn't. It was driving him insane, so he just decided that he would ask Teddy about it, because she would know what to do, what he should write. He started thinking about her, and got lost into his thoughts. When he finally emerged, his vows were written on that stupid piece of paper. Simple, but heartfelt vows.
You're my partner in every way I can think of. My confidante. The one I can tell everything and anything. The one that makes me laugh, even when I want to cry. The one that holds me when I think I will break. The one that I want to wake up to, every single day of my life. I never want to let you go. I love you.
It was way better than what he had expected, but when he reread them, he noticed that on the first line, where he was supposed to write Beth, he had written Teddy. So he had crossed it out again and again, until it was impossible to figure out what he had written in the first place. It made him feel like a fraud, though. Writing words for a woman and giving them to another. He was ashamed of it, and that was one of the reasons he didn't want Teddy to see the words he had written. Still, the main reason why he didn't want her to see those... lies, basically, was because they were true, in a way. They were true when it came to her, and he couldn't let her see what he was really feeling about her, even if she wasn't suspecting for a second that they weren't written for Beth.
"- Yeah… I wanted to start with Dear Beth, but I gave it up finally…" he managed to squeeze out of his throat.
"- Oh, I see. They're beautiful, by the way," she said, giving him the paper, and when he took it, he noticed that her eyes were damp. It didn't seem like she was deeply moved by his words, though, it looked more like she was somehow... hurt by his words. It was an echo to the feeling he had earlier, but before he could say anything more, she had slipped out of reach. "It's time, and we shouldn't be late. I'll go now, if everything is good for you."
He nodded, and before he could even think of adding something, she was out the door. He had a feeling that she was running away from him, but he couldn't know that it was because she was hurt by the words he had written. It felt... like a stab, deep in the gut. A betrayal. She wanted to see his feelings for Beth, and, well, she saw what she didn't want to. Her hope was shredded, but most of all, she couldn't bring herself to believe that Beth was all those things to him. Not when she thought it was her.
He watched his fiancée coming towards the altar. Beautiful in her white dress, he had to admit it, but that was the only thing he was feeling. He wasn't in awe of her, his heart wasn't bubbling with feelings for her. He was surprised by his own coldness towards her. Now that the moment had come, things were looking a bit clearer. If he wanted to be completely honest with himself, he didn't even know if he could still say he was in love with her. Teddy's words replied in his head. Does she make you happy? He hadn't been able to figure out an answer then, but now he was seeing it. She was walking towards him, and he was feeling… cold. Frozen inside. He just wanted it to be over. They had fought so much over this damn wedding, it had driven him crazy for years. It was only the most visible manifestation of all the problems in their relationship, though. All the misunderstandings, the silences, the words left unsaid… They had let every problem pile up until it was almost unbearable, and now he was standing there, for what was supposed to be the most beautiful day of his life, but certainly didn't look like it. He knew what he should have answered. She doesn't make me happy. Hadn't in a long time. You are the one who makes me happy.
She was standing in front of him now, pageant smile on her lips, and he panicked, like a wild animal trapped in a cage, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. He wasn't supposed to be here. He should've left her when he came back, because as sad as it was, he knew that they weren't meant to be together, but he had ignored all the red flags, so there he was. He needed to get out of here. He couldn't stay, or that would be the worst mistake of his life. He looked around, still panicking, and the crowd started to whisper. Until he met Teddy's green eyes. Her comment about the getaway car. It was a joke, at this moment, because they never thought he would need one. She probably didn't even mean it, but if he ran away, it had to be with Teddy. He couldn't picture it with anyone but Teddy.
She was looking at him in concern, trying to understand what was wrong, and he could see her lips forming the words are you okay? No, I'm not, he wanted to answer. He turned around, and in a few fast steps, he was in front of her. He extended his hand. A simple gesture, a call for help. A prayer of don't leave me alone in this. The crowd gasped behind. Her eyes bulged open with surprise, and she froze, completely stunned. He was so scared. He had done what he needed to, but it suddenly sounded like a huge mistake too.
His mind was starting to spin insanely, until he felt the warmth of a small hand in his, steadying his shaky universe. She didn't leave him hanging. She was there with him. He smiled, squeezed her hand, and they started running. They were flying, down the aisle, through the double doors of the church, and outside in the cold and crisp air, wind blowing around them. They started laughing. He felt like flying. He had never felt so free, so genuinely happy, adrenaline rushing through his veins. It was the craziest thing he had ever done. They kept running until they reached Teddy's car, his hand still locked around hers. He had to let it go, though, when they went into the car and she started driving. They were still ecstatic, and he didn't want to go down. He was scared of what was bound to happen when the realization would dawn on him.
"- Where are we going?" she asked.
"- I don't know, just far away!"
They found themselves on the highway, going south as fast as they could, all windows down. They could still feel this adrenaline from breaking away, this pure freedom sensation, and he wished it could last forever. He wished he could find that nerve he had earlier again and touch her hand.
They kept driving for hours, just following the highway down the coast. Her ivory dress, that seemed so formal hours ago, looked much more relaxed now that her hair was bouncing freely on her shoulders and that she had thrown her jewelry in the backseat of the car. He liked her better like that, natural, much more like herself. He has done the same, by getting rid of his tie and jacket and rolling his sleeves up.
They were driving in silence, because they didn't need to talk. It was one of their warm, comfortable silences, where they were both lost in their own thoughts, or rather both trying not to think about what they've done and the implied consequences. He was just staring outside the window, taking in the various landscapes, so she let him be lost in his mind and process what he had done. Focusing on the road to escape her own preoccupying thoughts. Especially the part of her mind wondering what it would change between her and Owen, because the answer was probably nothing.
He could've continued it for hours, but she broke the silence, eventually.
"- Any idea on where we're going?" she asked.
"- No," he answered, shaking his head.
"- Okay, well… I've found our first destination, at least."
"- Really? Where?"
"- Remember in Iraq, when we used to lay down on the sand and talk about how much we missed hamburgers?" she asked as she parked her car in the parking lot of a famous fast food chain. "And I'm hungry."
He looked at her and laughed. She was just perfect.
She ordered as much food as him – two hamburgers, fries, onion rings and a milkshake – which made him laugh again, and when she tried to defend herself with a "I don't eat that much!", he only laughed harder. She poked him in the ribs, and soon her laugh joined his. They kept bickering about stupid things all meal long, arguing and laughing. She ended up eating everything she ordered, plus stealing some of his fries, and he teased her again, so she cut the fry in small pieces and threw them at him. He laughed so much that it almost made him cry.
It was great, and he was grateful for that. It felt like a normal meal between friends, like nothing had happened. She didn't judge him, didn't bring the subject up, didn't even act like something happened, and he really appreciated it. He wasn't ready to think about it just yet, much less talking about it, and she knew it. She didn't want to, either, because she was scared he would regret what he had done. So they just ignored it for now, and enjoyed this moment, which would probably become one of their most precious memories. They would have to talk about it at some point, though, and they both knew that. They just didn't want to right now.
He offered her to switch places once they were done with their meal, and she gratefully accepted, because she was starting to feel tired. So he took the driver's seat, and they resumed driving south on the highway. The night had broken while they were eating, and the world was now drowned in moonlight and headlights.
A few kilometers later, he slid his eyes towards her. She had fallen asleep in the passenger's seat, curled up in it. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, it was breathtaking. He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her go. Looking at her, like that, so peaceful, he knew he had made the right choice. He had never felt like that for someone else, not even Beth. Even if she didn't love him… he could never marry someone else, not while he was so deeply in love with her.
He drove in silence, looking at her from time to time. Just to watch her sleep, he was already feeling more than while he watched Beth walking down the aisle. He could feel a warmth and a feeling of peace, so if he dared to imagine Teddy walking down the aisle… He could almost see it. He wouldn't run away, if that was the case. Not with her. Not with the one woman he could see his future with. Not with the one he'd give everything to marry. She was his one and only. Under the dark of the night, he was absolutely certain of that.
Time passed, and eventually, the sun broke on the horizon, bringing with him a pale light that troubled Teddy's sleep, and his certainty remained in the past, a fleeting feeling for a dreamlike night. He looked at her from the corner of her eye, and she was stretching and blinking, trying to get rid of the last hints of sleep.
"- Hey," she said in a soft voice, with a smile that warmed his heart.
"- Hey," he answered with the same tone, automatically returning her smile. She was always so beautiful, it was breathtaking. Even after sleeping in a car, her hair tangled and her eyes sleepy, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world. He wanted to wake up by her side every single day.
They drove in silence for another half hour or so, until she spoke again.
"- Don't you want to sleep a little? I know that twenty-four hours is nothing for an army trauma surgeon… but still."
He let a second of silence fly. He didn't feel tired, and he didn't want to sleep, but when he glanced at her, she seemed worried about him, so he decided not to refuse.
"- So, you get to sleep during the night, and I get the day, that's it? A little unfair, don't you think?"
She laughed and poked him on the ribs, and he couldn't do anything but laugh with her. They switched places again before resuming driving, still following the highway south.
After looking at her one more time, he closed his eyes, but what flashed behind his closed eyelids was the pain in Beth's eyes when he ran away. He had caught a glimpse of it when he had turned around to reach out to Teddy. Pain that he was the only responsible for, he knew it very well. He knew that, no matter how he would've broken up with her, she would always be hurt, but leaving her at their wedding? Leaving her standing here in her white dress, in front of their whole families, on what she really believed was the happiest day of her life? It seemed unnecessarily cruel now that he was in the after, and even though he had to do it, he regretted it.
Did he even try to save what was broken, or did he just stare and watch it sink? If he was honest, he was thinking the latter. He didn't fight for his relationship with Beth as he should have, and just passively watched it burn out. Looking away, refusing to acknowledge that he wasn't meant to be with her. Not wanting to face the truth.
All because of Teddy.
Because the only excuse he could think of giving Beth for leaving her was Sorry, I don't want to fight for our relationship, because you were right all along, I'm in love with Teddy, she gets me, she makes me laugh, she makes me happy, and to be honest, happier than you ever did. Because acknowledging that his relationship with Beth was gone and dead and buried meant possibilities with Teddy. It was something he wasn't strong enough to consider, it was terrifying him, even. He could lose her so easily if he confessed all the feelings spinning in his mind. She had never, ever showed even the slightest sign that she might feel something for him. He had never been more than her best friend. He didn't want to lose her, he couldn't. So the only thing he could do was bury those feelings deep inside his mind, and replay Beth's eyes when he left her. He sighed. None of this was helping him to fall asleep.
"- You're not sleeping," he heard on his left, and he opened his eyes to look at her.
"- Can't. Guilt started kicking in," he answered with a bitter smile.
"- Do you regret it?" she asked, without thinking, and she bit her tongue in regret. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, or rather, she was scared to know it.
"- No," he answered just as spontaneously. "I mean… yes, but no," he continued, after leaving a second of silence. "I regret it happened that way. I regret that I let this wedding happen while our relationship was so bad… It shouldn't have happened, wouldn't if I had been more honest with her… and with myself. But I don't regret leaving Beth. It was the right thing to do."
She smiled at him.
"- You love her. You've been together for years. It's not easy to get out of something like that, especially since you know you're going to break the other's heart."
"- I loved her," he corrected. "I don't think that's the case anymore. And, you're right. I knew it was going to hurt her, I don't think there's much avoiding it when it comes to the end of a relationship… So I just… I just didn't say anything, and I tried to act like everything was fine, but… It couldn't work that way. I didn't want her to be hurt, and I just managed to hurt her even more…"
"- What about you?" she asked. "Does it hurt?"
"- No… It doesn't. Maybe it will. I don't know." I don't think so. Because you're around. Of course, he couldn't bring himself to say the last part. "I'm just… I don't know what will happen next."
She extended her hand, and he took it slowly, almost hesitating. She squeezed it, the warmth of her touch communicating to his whole body.
"- You're not alone, Owen," she said with a determined look in her eyes. "No matter what happens, you're not alone."
He smiled at her. Brightly. Wholeheartedly. He would hold on to that promise.
"-Thank you," he answered, his eyes shining, enough to warm something up inside of her.
He closed his eyes again, and this time, only thinking about the warmth of Teddy's hand on him and her comforting words, he finally managed to find sleep.
When he woke up, a few hours later, he found her smiling at him, her hair gleaming under the now bright morning sun.
"- Slept well?" she asked, and she seemed more cheerful than she was the day before.
"- Not bad," he answered.
She smiled again, opened her glove box, taking something out without even looking. It was a CD, and she put it on. He recognized her favorite Duran Duran CD with the first notes. She was listening to it so often, it was a familiar sight. As if things were completely normal. She cranked the volume up, a little too loud for him, a little too loud for anyone who wasn't her, to be honest.
"- Dammit, Teddy, I just woke up, you could've waited a little before trying to murder my eardrums!"
"- Sorry, sorry," she said, not looking sorry at all, but she lowered the volume a little.
"- Thank you," he mumbled. "So that's why you look so happy? How long have you been thinking about listening to that CD?"
"- Hmm, almost since you fell asleep. I can't believe we drove that far without even putting on some music."
"- Maybe because I didn't want to die of a Duran Duran overdose?"
"- Hey, hey, hey, you might be my favorite human on the planet, but if you criticize Duran Duran, you'll end up on the side of the road."
He laughed along with her, trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted when she said "her favorite human on the planet". It couldn't be anything but a friendly thing. She probably just meant that he was her best friend. It was the only rational explanation.
He completely stopped complaining when she started singing. She just seemed to enjoy it so much. He could never get over it, the way she enraptured him more every time he looked at her. She was shining brighter than the sun, and while looking at her like that, he couldn't stop but imagining things he shouldn't.
Her eyes gleaming while they were laughing. The lovely smile she was giving him when he wasn't looking, that he only caught a glimpse of. All those things that weren't unusual, but that held a terrifying double meaning in his mind now that they had escaped his wedding together. He never saw anything but friendship in those gestures before, but with Beth outside the picture, he was wondering if maybe all this time he had misread the situation. He shook his head, and the thought dissipated as fast as it came. It had to be his imagination. It couldn't possibly be anything else. Nothing had changed between them.
The more he tried not to think about it, though, the more memories came flooding back. Just this morning, when he almost kissed her. Was she almost about to kiss him, too? The way she seemed to always look for some sort of skin contact. Could it be because she was always craving his touch, just like he was? The way she noticed every single of his feelings. Could it be because she was looking at him as much as he was looking at her? He just couldn't stop imagining things, seeing signs, watching ghosts of what his future could be.
They spent a mostly silent day, both lost in their own thoughts, but occasionally laughing together, and only stopping to buy sandwiches for lunch. Despite not stopping since they left, they still were surprised when they saw the sign announcing the state of California, at the end of the day.
"- Oh my god, I can't believe we went as far as California," she laughed.
"- We really did pursue this runaway thing," he said, naturally joining her laughter.
"- Come on! I want to watch the sunset on a beach."
He rolled his eyes and told her how cliché it was, and she laughed again. He couldn't say no to her, though, and somehow, they managed to find this perfect little hidden beach, and her smile when they parked was enough to make the two-days trip worth it. She got out of the car, still with that huge grin, and he couldn't stop staring at her. She had seemed so happy, the last two days, and it made him happy, too.
He joined her outside, standing a few steps beside her. She was looking at the sun reflecting on the ocean, like any normal person would have, but he was too fascinated by her to find any interest in the landscape. She shivered, and he belatedly noticed that her dress, although beautiful, did not offer much protection against the cold. He went back to the car, took his jacket thrown on the backseat, and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"- Thank you," she whispered while putting it on.
Even once she had it on, he didn't remove his hands from her shoulders. He loved the way his clothes looked on her. They didn't have that much of a height difference, because she was tall, but somehow his clothes were looking exceedingly big on her, and it only made her look tinier, almost fragile. It made him want to wrap his arms around her. So he allowed himself this small touch, on the pretense of keeping her warm, but… was he imagining things again, or was she leaning onto his touch?
"- Come on, let's get closer to the water," she said, taking his hand and dragging him with her, and they sat together near the waves.
He left a cautious distance between them, not wanting to give himself more hope than he should. It had the opposite effect, though, because she snuggled closer, basically lying on his chest, and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her in a hug. She just smiled and stirred a little in his arms to find the perfect position, and he felt like his heart was about to fly out of his chest. Did she have any idea of how many feelings she was igniting in his mind? Mechanically, lovingly, he started stroking her hair.
Something was different this time, though, about that hair stroke. More intimate. Even that hug felt different, like a layer had been peeled off between them. He loved the way she was fitting in his arms, how tiny she seemed. She had laid her head on his shoulder, and her scent was making him crazy. A perfect mix of honey, flowers, sun, and heaven. He naturally dropped a kiss on her head, and she shivered. He had no idea how this simple, friendly gesture was messing up with her nerves. He had no idea about all the things she was feeling for him.
All those feelings eating her up for years. Watching him from afar while he was with Beth, envying her for having him fully, while she was eternally sentenced to be the other girl. The best friend. The one that hopes forever, and never gets what she wants in the end. All those years, she watched him, and she hated herself for not being able to stop loving him, even when he had never given her the slightest reason to hope. It was just… that she felt like he was the only one who was perfect for her. No one else on Earth could understand her the way he did. No one else could comfort her, drag her out of her darkest places, and bring the sun back to her life like he did. He saved her, back then when she was trying to navigate through the process of grieving Allison, and she didn't know what her life would have been without him. They shared so many things, so many moments, so many memories. She couldn't imagine her life without him.
"- You seemed happier than usual, for the last two days," he said, and any trace of a smile vanished from her face. How could she tell him why? How could she tell him that it was because he left his fiancée at his wedding, and that he ran away with her? She couldn't possibly tell him about the hope that bloomed in her heart when she saw him, in front of her, with a hand extended and a prayer in his eyes. She knew that he was just asking for his best friend's help, but really deep down, she couldn't help but hope that it had another meaning. That he wasn't choosing her only because she was the person he used to turn to, but because he really wanted to choose her. She was too ashamed to say any of that, but when she met his pleading blue eyes, she couldn't resist.
"- I guess I was hoping," she finally gave up, looking down at the sand between her feet, "but I… I obviously just made up a whole story in my mind. It was a good story, but…" She looked up again and her eyes found his like they used to. Her face was so close, and she seemed so vulnerable, he just wanted to kiss her more than he ever did in his life. He didn't know how to interpret her last words, though. They were giving him the same feeling he had, the wondering, almost hoping. He was almost sure that he knew what she meant, but he was scared to misread the situation. Was he mistaken now, or had he been during all those years? Was he seeing what really was, or just what he wanted to see?
He was hoping too, and he was scared that this hope was going to destroy him.
The silence between them was starting to feel heavy, so she got out of his arms and up on her feet, taking a few steps forward. He just looked at her. With that beautiful dress, the sunset reflecting on her hair, she looked like a dream. He didn't think he could ever stop marveling at her beauty, or stop thinking about how much he loved her, so much that it was consummating him, making him crazy, ready to give it all up for her. He got up, too, and following his heart, he started walking towards her.
Sparks were flying again. Tension rising around them, crackling like a thunderstorm about to explode. He walked like he was pulled in by a magnet or a million little strings, and she just watched him do it, until there was only a mere twenty centimeters between them. The tension was even stronger now. She was so close he could touch her. He could've so easily caressed her cheek, or even leaned in and kissed her, he wanted it so badly, but he didn't. She felt so close and yet so far, like a goddess from some kind of heaven that would vanish if he did as much as grazing her skin. That close, he could look closely at her enrapturing green eyes and decipher all the emotions hidden inside. He recognized all the feelings dancing inside, because they were exactly the same as his. For the first time since he knew her, he allowed himself to really hope.
"- Owen, I have something to tell you, and I can't hold it on much longer," she suddenly blurted out, out of nowhere, her words too fast to be natural. "I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I met you, and I… I never found the strength to tell you, and you were engaged, so… I just buried those feelings and I waited for them to pass, and they never did, and today, you just ran away from your wedding with me, and, you, god, I love you so much, and I… I'm ridiculous, this is ridiculous, I don't even know what I'm saying, and you're probably thinking I'm stupid, and you're right, because it is stupid, and you probably never thought about me that way…"
She was still talking, tears streaming down her face, but he couldn't listen anymore, not when his world was rocked with the strength of an earthquake, not when she was saying the fucking perfect words he had dreamed of since the second he met her. Not when his universe, finally, made sense against all odds, not when everything he had done until now was feeling so right, not when he saw what heaven could look like. He just needed her to stop talking, because what she was saying was wrong. How could he not love her? She was everything he had ever dreamed of, she was perfect, she was funny, she was gorgeous, she was his best friend, he loved her so much that he had lost his mind a million times, and she was saying that he probably never thought about her that way? Damn, he was spending his days and nights thinking about her that way. She needed to stop talking now.
In one fluid motion, he cupped her face and kissed her. He smashed his lips against hers with all the strength that years of repressed feelings had given him, and she was so taken aback that she stopped breathing. It took her a whole two seconds to realize that it was real, that she was really feeling Owen's lips against hers, that it wasn't a fantasy or a dream, because she was feeling his warmth, and the pressure of his body touching hers, and the taste of his lips, and all the feelings it was giving her. She slid a hand on his hair, messed up by the wind, wrapped her other arm around his neck, and it was perfect.
They kissed over and over again, never leaving each other's lips for more than a second, forgetting what Earth looked like. The only thing left was this feeling of something right, and good, and awaited for so long that it felt even better. This feeling of getting lost in each other. He wished this moment would never stop.
When it did, though, their breathing was ragged, and her cheeks were red, and he could've just gotten lost in her eyes forever. He knew that he couldn't ever look at anything but her, couldn't ever do anything else than kissing her. He tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear, and her heart fluttered.
"- I have all these feelings for you, Teddy," he whispered against her lips, "had them for years, so don't you ever suggest again that I might not…"
This time, it was her who cupped his face and kissed him, and he wrapped an arm around her back and one around her waist, and pulled her as close as he physically could. It appeared to him that, really, he could never have enough of her, couldn't imagine living without her one second of his life, and that he needed her, deep in his bones, like she was a vital part of him.
"- What I'm suggesting," he whispered again, running his thumb against the softness of her lips, slowly, gently, like she was made of glass. "Is you…" He dropped a kiss on her jawline, so light that it was barely there, but enough to make her mind spin madly. "Me…" A second kiss, on her neck below her ear, and she almost moaned at how good the feeling was. "And a hotel room," he finished, biting her earlobe softly, and she was shaking just thinking about everything that would happen in that room.
"- I… would very much like that," she finally managed to say, almost too intoxicated to get a coherent sentence out of her mouth.
He didn't say anything, just smiled at her, and it was so soft, so beautiful, that she wondered how she could have missed this special smile, just for her. He offered her his hand, and she took it, and they giggled. It seemed so obvious, so easy now. How come that a love that strong, that pure, didn't come to life sooner? It seemed so unavoidable, as if they were two star-crossed lovers, simply meant to be.