Archive of Our Own

“Kim Dokja!” The only reason he knew he was crying as he called out his companion’s name was the feeling of steam on his cheeks, as the heat from Han Sooyoung’s fire engulfed the room, just as a ball of the glowing black flames hit Kim Dokja head on. The children’s cries were loud in Yoo Joonghyuk’s ears, increasing in volume as he watched each attack reach Kim Dokja without fail. They’ve already finished their part, and Yoo Sangah was comforting them as they each saw Kim Dokja’s body quickly draining of life.

“Joonghyuk-ah, it was a good story we made together, right?” The man’s sentence was interrupted by a weak sob, a splatter of blood from Jung Heewon’s sudden attack met the walls with a large burst of crimson. Another round of attacks from Jung Heewon and Yoo Joonghyuk could deliver the final blow to his Life and Death companion.

The sword was heavy in his hands, but he realizes that compared to the weight of Kim Dokja’s blood, it’s actually rather light. In fact, his body felt heavier and heavier as he saw Kim Dokja become weaker and weaker from the onslaught of swords, knives, and abilities being hurled at him. It’s probably pathetic, for him to feel so sick when he’s the one who failed to save Kim Dokja, but he couldn’t help but feel tired as the taste of acid reaches the back of his throat and the urge to throw his own sword to his feet almost overwhelms him. But he also knows this was Kim Dokja’s decision. His decision to save Yoo Joonghyuk, of all people, when Yoo Joonghyuk was more than ready to sacrifice himself and regress to allow Kim Dokja to continue on.

He closed his eyes as he hears Jung Heewon prepare to strike again, and he can feel Kim Dokja in his arms, bleeding out onto his clothing, looking up at him with the most dead of eyes, a pained expression on his face. It goes away in a flash, the next second he sees Kim Dokja, alive and well, fatigued as he smiles at Yoo Joonghyuk in the middle of the same subway cabin he always sees whenever he regresses.

His mouth was filled with cotton as he realized he’s seen this before, he opened his eyes, ready to call out again but unable to speak. His jaw clenched as he looked down at his bloodied hands, knowing he needed to do something, that he wants to change the ending of this story, this story they’ve made together, allow Kim Dokja to somehow change his fate, but despite his will to unfurl his hands to allow the sword to drop… his weapon was glued to his palm, ready for the final strike.

“Joonghyuk-ah.” He hears Kim Dokja say, but he can barely raise his head. He saw Kim Dokja smile, surely in agony, and Yoo Joonghyuk could not lift his gaze any higher to meet his eyes.

When he finally opened his mouth, he felt the slide of thick, wet paper in his throat as he fell to the ground, he coughed only to feel his throat constrict further. More and more papers fell from his mouth as he listens to Kim Dokja’s laughter. The wet blood on his hands and body stretch outwards as it slowly turns to black around him. He couldn’t breathe, and his eyes closed as he couldn't even see through the tears glazing over his vision. His hands are suddenly empty, and he reached out only to feel nothing.

“Joonghyuk-ah… Joonghyuk-ah~!” He could feel the echoes of his companion’s singing, feel the sound reverberate within his chest.

Finally he could breathe, he blinked once, twice. In front of him is… nothingness. He was floating, crouching atop nothing as he stood and raised his head. A wall curved around him, engulfing him, made entirely of paper. The writing on the pages was familiar, but untranslatable. Any spaces between the pages looked like the night sky, though he only achieved small glimpses, the wall attempted to block his vision entirely, forever moving as he kept moving his gaze to and fro’ for an escape of any kind.

“Kim Dokja?” His voice was quieter than he anticipated, almost silent, as if his vocal chords were simply too weak for his words to be any louder. The air was so still, he was surprised he could even breathe.

The pressure of wherever he was trapped was heavy, his body weighed down slightly as he stepped forward and he was unsure of what to do. The only thing he could keep in his head was the image of his companion, dead in his arms, killed by his own sword. All other thought he had was quickly interrupted as he continued to walk forward, reaching out to nothing for the mischievous bastard he couldn’t help but love.

“Kim Dokja. Kim Dokja you idiot, come back! I’ll… I’ll…”

His hand reached the paper wall.

An invigorating heat consumed his head as he pushed forward, and the papers suddenly turned and twisted around him, swirling in a dance he couldn’t understand as white and ink consumed his vision. The ink was recognizable to him, too familiar even, despite the motion blurring all of whatever was written.

He blinked and took a deep breath in. He dipped his head forward as he focused on his breathing.

Opening his eyes, he still only saw white, but there was a softness he could feel against his face and lashes upon taking in another deep breath. A hand softly moved through his hair, another interlacing with his own hand.

“Joonghyuk-ah.” He could hear the man’s smile in his voice.

Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t look up, his legs locked and back stiff. He swallowed, but his mouth felt exceptionally dry, the motion feeling rough on his throat. The hand in his hair continued to lightly rub his scalp. The white in front of his face slowly turned grey as tears fell from his eyes. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to cry, he wanted to fall asleep, he wanted to hold the man cradling him, but he couldn’t move. He was too overwhelmed.

He knows this is a dream. A dream he recognized. The person who dreamt of him was also the same person Yoo Joonghyuk also couldn’t help but dream of after everything. The person who haunted his nightmares but the person who he wished for just as much as he’d loathed in the past, the person who he’d always dreamed of ever since the scenarios.

“What if all those Kim Dokjas who had forgotten that he is the ‘Oldest Dream’, dream of the same story?”

He recalled Han Sooyoung’s words as he stood there in his Life and Death Companion’s embrace, dazedly wondering if all those pages also contained Kim Dokja’s reincarnations. If Kim Dokja lived a different life… would he be happy? Would he be happy now?

Is he still dreaming?

“Joonghyuk-ah. Sacrifices must be made, you know.”

“...”

“Are you going to just stand here forever?”

“...Don’t be an idiot.”

He could hear the man’s chuckle right in his ear, but made no move to get away, snuggling into the white jacket’s collar, hair brushing against his face. The hand in his hair suddenly stopped, making a tight grip as Yoo Joonghyuk’s head was pulled up, and he flinched as he suddenly looked into the eyes of Kim Dokja.

What scared him most was how empty Kim Dokja’s eyes seemed, voids of black staring into him… no, staring through him.. Yoo Joonghyuk could only stare in shock. A lifeless, bitter smile appeared on his face.

“Joonghyuk-ah, have you enjoyed reading it?”

Yoo Joonghyuk only stared.

“...” Kim Dokja blinked slowly, still holding up Yoo Joonghyuk’s face. Yoo Joonghyuk would probably choke this man for that if it weren’t for his sheer exhaustion at this point.

He just wants his companion. He’s on the edge of this dream, he can feel that, but still unable to move his body.

“It should’ve been you, Yoo Joonghyuk.” Kim Dokja finally glared, his tone icy as he tightened his hold on Yoo Joonghyuk’s hair.

Yoo Joonghyuk flinched at the use of his name, not even really recognizing this Kim Dokja’s words. The taller man glared, his eyes dimming as a sigh left his mouth. He couldn’t help but make a small, bitter smile as he thought about how foolish he was for treating this man like Kim Dokja.

Yoo Joonghyuk may have thought it should’ve been him who died throughout his regression turn with his companion, but he knew Kim Dokja had no regrets, like the self-sacrificing bastard his companion was.

He frowned again, glaring at the embodiment of his fears. He finally moved his hands, though only laying them on his false companion’s waist. He tilted his head forward, his forehead resting against his false companion’s own, and felt the hand in his hair let go and fall to his shoulder, the other hand resting on his bicep. Entangled in a dance, Yoo Joonghyuk looked his regrets dead in the eye. Their surroundings shifted, although he didn’t give them any notice, to a subway train. If he focused more, he’d probably take more notice of the number ‘3707’ boldened atop the front, the empty seats, or even perhaps the broken doors, but he only catches them from the corner of his eyes, uncaring.

“I’ll kill you.”

He stared into the other’s eyes, the shorter man slowly becoming faceless. He heard it start to chuckle, feeling the movement of it’s shoulders violently pop up and down as the laughter increased.

“Haven’t you already done that?”

“You’re not Kim Dokja.”

It blinked in front of him, and Yoo Joonghyuk slowly brought up his hand to grasp its neck, tightening as he stood up straight, his resolve steady. Yoo Joonghyuk stared as the faceless entity in front of him watched in silence, unmoving despite Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand ready to kill.

“You fool.” He heard his own voice, despite his own mouth not moving. He looked up to see the spitting image of himself. A large fraction of his counterpart’s hair turned grey, wrinkles adorning its face… he was suddenly reminded of what he said to his constellation upon that 0th turn.

“...If I continue to regress, will I ever see you again?” His nightmare finished his thought as it lunged forward, tossing away Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand and wrapping its own around his neck.

“You asked for this, Yoo Joonghyuk.”

He snarled at his own impostor, trying to push it away but unable to regain his breath. He could feel the ridges on the thumbs pressing into his jugular, his own legs split wide and unable to strike his attacker. The edges of his vision were slowly fading out to black as he tried to heave and cough, force some air into his lungs, he couldn’t even focus on the being above him. Slowly Yoo Joonghyuk’s head began to feel weightless as his body, his neck, was being crushed, his eyes unseeing. His mind was foggy. He wanted this nightmare to just end; his own eyes looked down at him as he thought about the memories he made with Kim Dokja throughout the few turns they got to spend together.

To him, that time was not small at all, even with the fragments of his memories and the 0th turn, he cherished the time they spent together. The rest of the turns he went through were irrelevant to him. He was just so tired at this point. He wanted his companion. He needed his companion.

He didn’t even realize when the hand around his neck drifted away. When the being above him suddenly disappeared without a trace. When he could finally see the emptiness of space around him, letting him float among stars. Like he was swimming in invisible water, the dark blue sky surrounding him. Despite the open space, it was still hard to breathe in at all, like his chest was being pressed against so firmly he couldn’t. He didn’t feel like he was being flattened or crushed, but there was a huge feeling of discomfort upon the realization he couldn’t even breathe in. Let alone the wonderment that he didn’t need to breathe.

A stack of papers is softly floating above him, and he recognizes the writing. Kim Dokja’s stories, his mind supplies, and he lifts his hand to catch them, letting them reach his palm. A heartbeat could be heard from the flip of the pages, a soft breeze danced around his frame and he was finally able to take a breath in.

The wind coming from nowhere however suddenly picked up speed, and the stack of papers in Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand flew just out of his grasp. He tried to reach forward and catch them again, but the elusive pages slipped past his fingertips and the sheets quickly turned into their own individual stars in the distance.

Yoo Joonghyuk only stared, looking at his hand and schooling his shocked expression, letting out a sigh. He just wanted to wake up. To hold Kim Dokja in his arms.

He couldn’t even remember the state of the “current” Kim Dokja. Was he… awake? He just couldn't grasp any memory of whether or not Kim Dokja had even woken up.

He didn’t even mind if this dream gave him another impostor Kim Dokja to grasp and hold; he was just tired. He didn’t care if whoever he would now have the chance to hold or bask in the presence of would be an enemy or attempt to kill him. He needed his companion. Kim Dokja has already betrayed his trust in the past, as much as that hurt, he at least now understood it was for the best. The squid bastard wasn’t a complete idiot, as much as he was… no, is a rat.

Now though? Yoo Joonghyuk would willingly accept a sword to the heart if it meant he could be held by his companion. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t Kim Dokja. He’d accept any Kim Dokja, he’d relent. He finally looked up from his hand, trying to observe his surroundings without moving his head too much. Losing his sense of direction likely wouldn’t help.

Out of the corner of his eye as he glanced to the right, a bright star could be seen nearly out of his reach. As he turned to face the star fully, he recognized many features from his companion. One might say this figure was the spinning image of her father. The small girl made a twirl as she stood on nothing, levitating in front of him as she smiled. He stared at her, completely deadpan as he watched her make a small bow, not raising her head to look at him until a moment passed. She finished off the dance with a sweet, small wink. He dazedly blinked at the girl, feeling his eyes become slightly wet as his expression shifted to anger.

“Did you really think I’d be impressed by that plan, Captain? How did you even cook up such a hair-brained scheme? Seriously?”

The way those words echoed inside his head scared him, he didn’t even notice his own flinch as he looked at her, one of his eyes twitching in anger. He’s already seen this. He’s already heard this.

“Did you think this would impress me, Captain?” Biyoo’s tone shifted. “Was this supposed to impress anybody?” She bent over slightly, leaning over him as she hovered above, a maniacally hateful look painted on her face.

“I shouldn’t even be surprised, should I? You’ve always done stupid, crazy plans like this without batting an eyelid.”

He knew better than to listen, but he couldn’t stop the way her words wrapped around his brain and tied it into a knot, the way they made him sweat and shake. He couldn’t look away, his mind couldn’t help but grapple onto her likeness to Kim Dokja. Making all of her harsh statements sink to the bottom of his chest. Somehow, it was a comfort. The same way somebody might tease their friends, and each of them would laugh and continue on with their life together; that’s what scared him most.

The thought of Kim Dokja also saying, believing, what Biyoo now said, made his chest ache and his face burn. He wanted to move forward and shake her by the shoulders, see her smile and say she was joking. Even if it was that same sad smile he loathed from both her and her father.

He’d accept any punishment to let his companions, his- yes, his Kim Dokja, be okay. Anything to let them know that he didn’t want them hurt because of him anymore. To signify to them that he would hold onto the burden, he would take responsibility, so they could finally be happy with a peaceful life, so that Yoo Joonghyuk would face whatever blocked his path to giving them a fulfilling ending.

Now? He wasn’t even sure if Kim Dokja was alive or dead and here his companion’s daughter was. Berating him.

She slowly floated forward, bending further to look at his face head on, and the sickly sweet smile on her face reminded him more of Han Sooyoung than Kim Dokja. Her dark eyes bore into him and he suddenly realized how others must feel whenever he used [Sage’s Eye] on those he didn’t trust. He wasn’t stupid enough to think this was really Biyoo. He had more intelligence than that.

Her words crawled up his spine and through his head however. He wasn’t stupid enough to think this was real, but he was so tired. Tired of nothing, tired of everything, tired of being tired.

Suddenly, Biyoo began to shrink as she spun over, white fur coating her body as he noticed her prominent golden horn sparkling. The bright color was almost blinding, even against her snow-white fur, standing out against the array of stars in the horizon. He had to blink a couple times as he tried to focus on her face.

His eyes kept shifting to her horn however, and the golden hue stretched across his vision vertically, more blinding stars filling the bright yellow than even the dark blue of space surrounding them. Slowly, the metallic color shifted, stretching horizontally with a vignette of burnt orange grazing along the sides. The crisp orange extended further, revealing a side profile he was also very familiar with. A man who shared his complexion, a prominent scar on his left eye, grey hairs throughout his bangs. The same man who shared his past, and contributed to the very existence of the ‘Yoo Joonghyuk,’ he was now.

The man he recognized as The Secretive Plotter, the one who gave up his name. The one who kidnapped his companion, who he, Yoo Joonghyuk, lost to. Who he lost Kim Dokja to.

The Secretive Plotter didn’t even turn his head to look at Yoo Joonghyuk, only giving him a side-glance. Biyoo now nowhere to be seen as Yoo Joonghyuk replayed his memories in his head. Of his sword shattering, of Kim Dokja being carried away from him, of failing.

“You’re not needed for the scenarios anymore, Yoo Joonghyuk.” His own voice spoke.

The Secretive Plotter’s golden eye shifting, and the brightness of his hood shining down on Yoo Joonghyuk like a beacon. An anglerfish lures in a small sunfish with the beautiful shine of light, shying it away from a deliciously perfect meal of a squid. An anglerfish ready to ravage and kill to get what it wants.

A hand bursts forth from the curtain of space and stars, dark acrylics making an audible ‘swoop’ of air, and The Secretive Plotter’s hand snaps.

The strings holding Yoo Joonghyuk up in the vacuum of time snap, and suddenly he is falling. Glass shatters from around him, and metal shards dance throughout his vision as he drops down into blackness, only just able to see his reflection in one before cuts assault his body out of nowhere.

He blinks, but cannot see, as he feels the gust of winds continue against his body, gravity pushing him down and down until he is just about to land. He doesn’t know what he would even land on, but he can sense the pressure of his impending doom build up, as if he could barely touch the ground just as it was about to smash into him. A wall which would deliver his death. Another floor made of glass, words, images, whatever it would be, that would train his unseeing eyes in the worst punishment it could deliver.

No death comes, for he wakes with a start, sitting up as soon as he regains his consciousness. Sweat covers his body, his hair has gone wavy due to the grease, he’s gasping for air as his unclothed chest heaves up and down. Thick blankets cover his lower half, and the sheets on the other side of the bed have been kicked away. Yoo Joonghyuk slowly turned his head around, looking at the bedroom he was in, and recognized it as home.

The only thing missing was Kim Dokja, he surmised as his heart raced. His upper half naked and lower half barely clothed in a pair of boxers and sweatpants, he immediately turned to stand up from the bed and walk out in a daze. He passed the bathroom, a closet, and other rooms he simply didn’t care about until he reached the kitchen.

There, his partner stood, the morning sun shining through the windows and giving Kim Dokja a serene glow. He was drinking a mug of coffee and reading a thick cookbook as the oven cast a bright yellow light. Yoo Joonghyuk took pause as he looked at the shorter man, eyeing the suit covering the male’s body. Without thinking, he moved forward to engulf Kim Dokja in a hug.

Kim Dokja was visibly taken aback, immediately putting down the book and cup and leaning into Yoo Joonhyuk’s arms, he looked up at the taller man behind him with a smile on his face. Yoo Joonghyuk felt a hand rummage through his tangled hair, stroking his scalp, but he kept his focus on Kim Dokja’s face. Both of them not turning away, both drawn to the other’s eyes as they held each other. Yoo Joonghyuk could sense the way Kim Dokja swayed, his legs still not used to standing for long periods of time with other help.

“Good morning.” Kim Dokja finally broke the silence, twirling a strand of Yoo Joonghyuk’s hair and pulling it between his fingers, making it spring back as soon as the man let go.

Yoo Joonghyuk only grunted back as Kim Dokja slowly tried to step away towards the oven, reaching for the handle to prevent his muffins from burning. Yoo Joonghyuk, however, didn’t remove his arms from entrapping the smaller man, therefore keeping him in place. Kim Dokja sighed as he turned back towards Yoo Joonghyuk, leaning his head on the taller man’s shoulder.

“I already took the kids to school.”

“Mmmf.”

“And Biyoo’s with Han Sooyoung today.”

“Mrrgf.”

Kim Dokja tsk’d at his boyfriend’s lame response. Yoo Joonghyuk equally huffed, moving one of his hands to caress Kim Dokja’s hair, like Kim Dokja did to him moments ago. It was satisfying, just being able to hold his partner, close and safe. He felt his boyfriend kiss his cheek, the tip of his nose, his jaw, before trying to turn away again and reach for the oven. Yoo Joonghyuk would have none of it. He tightened his hold on the shorter man and exhaled into his hair.

“Come on, let go, I’ve a late shift today.”

“Call in sick.”

Kim Dokja gave his boyfriend an incredulous look at the man’s clearly unreasonable command, but Yoo Joonghyuk was blind to Kim Dokja’s glare. Finally, when Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at Kim Dokja again, the other’s glare lessened. Kim Dokja leaned up and gave Yoo Joonghyuk a short peck on the lips and finally Yoo Joonghyuk lessened his hold enough for Kim Dokja to slip out of his grasp.

His muffins now had hints of black around the edges due to the extended time in the oven, but he surmised they’d still be edible. As soon as the tray hit the counter, Yoo Joonghyuk went back to holding him, laying kisses atop Kim Dokja’s head. Kim Dokja sighed as he took one of his banana muffins and took a bite, testing the taste and exhaling through his nose.

“They would’ve been perfect if you let me get them out sooner.”

“I’ll make some next week.”

“But I wanted to make these for you…” Kim Dokja sighed, his cheeks rosy and his flush growing as Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes softened further.

Yoo Joonghyuk continued to kiss Kim Dokja’s face at that response, pushing the smaller one against the counter as he pressed their lips together. Kim Dokja’s arms instinctively wrapped around Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck, one hand moving into his hair. Yoo Joonghyuk completely trapped Kim Dokja by the waist, one hand around his hip and one hand on the back of his neck, making his back arch and head dizzy.

“Call in sick.” Yoo Joonghyuk muttered again upon breaking the kiss, glaring at Kim Dokja.

Surely Kim Dokja could feel Yoo Joonghyuk’s length harden upon their pelvises pressed together, and Yoo Joonghyuk only pushed further against him, lightly thrusting against Kim Dokja’s thighs. Kim Dokja’s breath quickly grew shaky, swallowing the saliva built up in his mouth as he took a nervous glance down.

“Kim Dokja.”

The man in the suit looked up, his hands dropping slowly from around Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck to against his chest, his fingertips floating against the taller man’s abs.

“You’re not allowed to leave me.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand quickly shifted from the back of Kim Dokja’s neck, to the man’s jugular, applying pressure as Yoo Joonghyuk dove back into his lips, frantically desperate to taste all of Kim Dokja. Kim Dokja’s own gasp only allowed for Yoo Joonghyuk’s tongue to push further in.

Kim Dokja moaned into Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth every touch Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands made on his body. Grasping and squeezing his hips and ass, flicking against his clothed nipples, and pulling his hair each awarded Yoo Joonghyuk a sweet groan and soiled any attempts Kim Dokja even thought about making to escape.

As it should. As Kim Dokja should’ve never considered leaving Yoo Joonghyuk.

“Call in sick.”

Kim Dokja rolled his eyes before glancing at his suit, now rumpled and disordered against Yoo Joonghyuk’s ministrations, as he took in deep breaths from the in-depth make out session. Yoo Joonghyuk pushed his head up with a hand, forcing their gazes to meet, and Kim Dokja huffed in response as his eyebrow twitched.

“Oh, I’m sorry, when did you get a job? When did you start paying the bills?”

“Han Sooyoung bought us this house.”

“She doesn’t pay for the electricity and water, you were the one who wanted to live separately in the first place, remember?” Kim Dokja interrogated, while Yoo Joonghyuk only blinked in response.

“I’ll start streaming, just don’t leave.”

Kim Dokja chuckled at that statement, which Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand convulsed and his eyebrows furrowed in anger. He was tired of this. He just wanted Kim Dokja to stay, was that so much? What would happen if Kim Dokja left, got hurt, and never returned to Yoo Joonghyuk? What if his Life and Death Companion left him and never woke up.

That thought triggered something in Yoo Joonghyuk. When would he wake from this nightmare, of losing Kim Dokja?

He wouldn’t let that happen again.

Yoo Joonghyuk pushed Kim Dokja’s suit jacket down, the back meeting the counter as Kim Dokja shrieked in shock, quickly moving to get away before Yoo Joonghyuk caught his hands and bent him against the countertop. The suit jacket catching against his hands made it even easier for Yoo Joonghyuk to tie it, his hands now restrained to his back.

“Ah, Joonghyuk-ah, le- Hey! What are you-” Kim Dokja’s words cut off as Yoo Joonghyuk ripped the front of his shirt, exposing his chest before pushing him down into the cool marble counter, the cold immediately making him shudder.

“You left me, Kim Dokja.”

Kim Dokja could hear his own belt clasp come undone with a metal ‘clink’ and Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands putting pressure against his front, his own smaller cock springing to attention and forming a tent, slightly popping out against his pants now that the undone belt allowed for less restraint. Yoo Joonghyuk panted against Kim Dokja’s ears, applying more pressure on Kim Dokja’s member as he pulled the belt away with one hand and unbuttoned the man’s pants with the other.

“Ah, ahh- mnnghf… Joonghyu- hyuk-ah… stop.” Kim Dokja panted against the cold marble, his hips rutting against Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands, unable to restrain his body from giving into Yoo Joonghyuk. He wanted more, needed more, but at the same time… he shouldn’t.

“You’re not allowed to leave again, Kim Dokja.”

Yoo Joonghyuk growled as he wrapped the belt around Kim Dokja’s neck, using it like a leash as he pulled Kim Dokja upwards, forcing the smaller man to gasp out of breath, the air knocked out of him. Without giving Kim Dokja the room to stop or gain his senses, Yoo Joonghyuk brought him back to the bedroom and tied the make-shift leash to the bed frame.

He already achieved a home for just him and Kim Dokja, the kids being the only exception, but it was still as if he could never have him. Kim Dokja would always be somebody else’s, somebody he couldn’t reach, a star he could never grasp.

Now was the time he finally snapped, practically ripping Kim Dokja’s pants down, not minding Kim Dokja’s protests at all. The jacket and belt kept him at bay and prevented Kim Dokja from restraining, aside from the small wiggle of his lower half, which only helped in removing his pants and underwear.

Yoo Joonghyuk inhaled sharply, seeing a buttplug he’d left in Kim Dokja in the past whenever Kim Dokja would misbehave, as well as seeing a cockring atop the man’s member, taken aback that Kim Dokja even kept them on now. Kim Dokja’s face erupted in red, rosiness spreading to his neck and ears, turning away to hide his face before he could see the wolfish grin on Yoo Joonghyuk’s own.

“Did you wear this when taking the kids to school too, Kim Dokja?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked as he grabbed a fistful of Kim Dokja’s behind, uncaring of Kim Dokja’s moan in return.

“I- I didn’t… aafgh, Joonghyuk-ah, s-stop. I really, really- I didn’t!”

Yoo Joonghyuk shifted his hand to move the buttplug, a bright red gem adorning the end, making the edges poke against his palm. He pushed the plug around more forcefully, jutting it around Kim Dokja’s rim harder. Kim Dokja jolted at every harsh tug and push, panting and gasping.

“Kim Dokja.”

Here his Life and Death Companion was laid out to him like a meal to be savored, devoured by Yoo Joonghyuk and only Yoo Joonghyuk.

“You’re not allowed to leave me, Kim Dokja, don’t you understand that?”

“Gffgh, Joon- ah!”

Yoo Joonghyuk would break if Kim Dokja ever left him again after what they’d been through. Already, even just waking up to a bed without Kim Dokja set him off like a ticking bomb nearing the end of its timer. If Kim Dokja died… Yoo Joonghyuk would do anything and everything to either get him back or join him, wherever that afterlife might be. He would reach Kim Dokja and drag him out of the pits of hell for the sake of having the man back at his side.

“What were you thinking Kim Dokja?”

Thoughts spilled out, yet even then his words weren’t even a quarter of what he truly wanted to say, to hammer into the man’s head. To not only do anything to make him stay, but to do everything to get him back.

Kim Dokja didn’t hear the drawer opening between Yoo Joonghyuk’s words, not knowing how to answer or how to reciprocate. He loved Yoo Joonghyuk back dearly, that much was obvious.

The problem was that he didn’t love himself as much as Yoo Joonghyuk did. They shared the same sacrificial nature, to protect the other they’d do whatever was necessary, even if it meant their own death. That prospect in and of itself held the both of them like a hug but terrified them like no other.

“Do you have any idea what I’d do if you left, Kim Dokja?”

“I’m- mffg,” Kim Dokja’s words were cut off as the toy inside him was tugged out from his flesh, cold and wet fingers quickly filling the empty space, teasing his insides “I’m sor- sorry, AH!”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s fingers lunged for the other man’s prostate, thrusting his fingers in and out of Kim Dokja’s sensitive hole. The cockring made the pressure against his nerves even more pronounced and prompted him to violently jolt. The make-shift belt collar leaving small indents against his neck.

“I didn’t me- aughm- mea- Joonghyuk stop!”

The man’s voice cracked as Joonghyuk continued to spread out Kim Dokja’s ass with his fingers, jabbing in more violently as Kim Dokja struggled. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t need to look up to know Kim Dokja’s eyes were probably wet with tears already, the way his breath turned shaky and he the way he panted… Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to see more.

Yoo Joonghyuk pushed his behind upwards as he flipped Kim Dokja by the chest, now laying on his back, forced to arch dramatically upward due to the belt still around his neck and his shoulders pushed up to accommodate his hands being tied to the frame. Luckily for Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk had enough mercy to untie the belt around the man’s neck, only to quickly replace it with his free hand, his other hand going back to fingering Kim Dokja’s ass open.

“Ghh- ack, aren’t yo- fuck, aren’t you being a bit, gfgh, Joonghyuk!”

Kim Dokja flinched as Yoo Joonghyuk lowered his pants and underwear to expose his member, lightly hitting Kim Dokja’s thigh and making him shiver at the contact alone. The tied man stared at Yoo Joonghyuk’s cock as the other slowly lubed it using his hand, deliberately moving slowly as Kim Dokja drooled in awe of it. Yoo Joonghyuk smirked at Kim Dokja’s debauched expression and dipped his head to Kim Dokja’s chest to bite and lick at his nipples, dragging his tongue around each nub before flicking them and pulling them with his teeth. Finally he dragged his tongue up Kim Dokja’s nape as he thrusted his pelvis into Kim Dokja, his member being hugged by the other’s hole. His hips meeting Kim Dokja’s cheeks and drowning them both in utter bliss.

Yoo Joonghyuk licked at Kim Dokja’s earlobe as he thrusted into Kim Dokja, hitting his prostate dead-on and making Kim Dokja sob violently. Kim Dokja begged and begged for Yoo Joonghyuk to let him come, to remove the cockring and let him reach his climax, but Yoo Joonghyuk only bit at the man’s neck and jaw. The ex-regressor couldn’t even put into words how content he was holding Kim Dokja, hearing the man beg and sob for more and more.

Without thinking, Yoo Joonghyuk moved one of his hands to pump Kim Dokja’s length, overstimulating him but not pushing him enough to reach his orgasm due to the ring preventing Kim Dokja’s length from spilling. Precum obscenely gathered at the tip, making it easier for Yoo Joonghyuk to move his hand up and down against the smaller man’s member.

Heat and pressure formed a heavy weight in the back of Yoo Joonghyuk’s head, making him pant harder and harder against Kim Dokja’s neck as he pushed his cock further and further into Kim Dokja and jabbing into the man’s prostate, still not giving the smaller man’s demands and begs any heed.

Kim Dokja, probably sensing Yoo Joonghyuk’s arousal and increase in speed, only sobbed and pleaded more and more.

“Joongv- Joonghy- ple- please, please, I’ll do anything, ghfv- please!”

The hole around his member clenched, and Yoo Joonghyuk spilled into Kim Dokja, painting his insides white and filling him with warmth. Sweat coated both of their bodies, Kim Dokja whined at being filled, the high built up from stimulation passing over his body as Yoo Joonghyuk’s rutted into him, milking his length. Yoo Joonghyuk shifted the cockring on Kim Dokja and slowly moved it off, letting Kim Dokja masturbate into his hand. Their breath mixed together as Yoo Joonghyuk dove back in for another kiss, punishing Kim Dokja with a bite to the lip each time Kim Dokja would tug at his restrained hands or would lick and suck at the man’s tongue for giving into the kiss. Finally, milky warm liquid splashed onto Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand, drawn out as Yoo Joonghyuk would squeeze and release every couple of seconds and prevent his release from spilling and making Kim Dokja’s semen build up in bursts.

Pulling back, Yoo Joonghyuk was treated to the sight of Kim Dokja’s tongue lolling out of his mouth, his tear-stained cheeks flushed in red, and his doe eyes glazed over and pointed at the ceiling, unable to even look forward to Yoo Joonghyuk as the man stood up.

Yoo Joonghyuk suddenly stopped, glaring at Kim Dokja as he stared into the man’s eyes. Kim Dokja flinched, despite his gaze still being unfocused and dewy. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but think that, if Kim Dokja’s eyes were an abyss, Yoo Joonghyuk would willingly dive as deep as possible and drown if he could. With that thought in mind it was difficult to not immediately move back atop Kim Dokja and thrust into the man’s inviting heat, but he restrained himself. Yoo Joonghyuk slowly moved away from the bed, pushing the buttplug back into Kim Dokja before walking away to search for Kim Dokja’s phone. Upon reaching the kitchen, Yoo Joonghyuk closed the curtains once more and grabbed the cellular device he’d been searching for.

Leaning next to the muffin tray, now abandoned and cold, Yoo Joonghyuk scrolled through the contacts list as he grabbed one of the baked delights and walked back to the room.

“Kim Dokja.”

The tied-up salaryman was struggling against his suit jacket, looking beautiful and inviting to Yoo Joonghyuk’s insatiable appetite. Yoo Joonghyuk walked forward until Kim Dokja suddenly realized his mistake and froze, watching as his partner loomed over him and took a bite of the cold muffin. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t help but notice the way his boyfriend’s legs spread further, as if offering himself to a God ready to be punished for his sins.

“I will have you today.”

Holding up the phone, the contacts list on the screen, Kim Dokja stared nervously at the device before rubbing his legs together and looking up at Yoo Joonghyuk, biting his lip. Yoo Joonghyuk watched every move as he continued to eat away at the muffin. Call him petty for wanting to spend the day entirely with Kim Dokja. Call him petty for not letting the man come after ignoring his demands the first time. Call him petty for deciding to fuck the man throughout the rest of the day if he so wished.

It was Kim Dokja’s fault for leaving him, now he wouldn’t be allowed to leave the bed.