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I.
Chains around my demons
Shangqi prides himself for his self-control. Years of training under the brutal and watchful eye of his father made him better at restraining emotions.
The first mistake he made when coming to America was to let go of that restraint. He almost pummelled a kid to the ground had Katy not intervened that one morning. She taught him that there were other ways to fight, ones that didn’t need the use of brute force. So he did just that.
Through the years he learned how to compartmentalize his feelings.
There was a fine line that he treads when he was looking for a good fuck. He would allow himself to feel good, feel pleasure and give pleasure, all while hiding away his feelings in a box. All the women he’s had sex with knew what they were getting into and he made sure of that before doing the deed.
And it worked for a while.
All his feelings, his emotions as Shaun were only for Katy. Then pleasure was in the other basket, behind the persona he puts on when he needs to let off steam.
The first problem arose when he saw Katy cry for the first time. They were both busy with their own lives, her in university while he was juggling two jobs to make rent.
So, imagine his surprise when he finds her knocking on his door at three A.M., sopping wet from the rain, her black hair clinging to her skin and her pale skin contrasted by the red in her eyes and nose.
“Katy, what –” he gets over his initial shock, and ushers her in. Grabbing the only clean towel from his rack, he hurriedly covers her shivering body. “What are you doing here?”
She was quiet for a moment, her bottom lip clasped against her teeth as she tried her hardest to not shed tears.
“He cheated on me.” There was a vulnerability to her voice, and he feels his heart break a little at the sight of his best friend – beaten and broken hearted – by a dumb guy who should have known better.
The flame in his heart, alight, as he thinks of ways to beat up the guy who made her this miserable. To hell , if his father ever found out where he had been hiding. The little fucker deserved what was coming to him.
A cold hand touches his and he’s reminded that she was still here.
“He’s not worth it, Shaun.” I need you here with me , were the words unspoken.
He wraps his arms around her, not at all bothered that she was getting his shirt wet or that he had to mop the water on his floor. All that mattered was that she was here now, safe in his arms.
Katy broke down in his arms, her sobs hurting him more than getting whipped by a thousand bamboo sticks. He held her tighter. I’m here.
They stay like that for a few moments until he notices her shiver. He offers her a warm shower and some spare clothing, which she gladly took.
Long after she’s warm and the floors have been cleaned, they lay side by side on the bed. His arm outstretched to accommodate her head as she settles her head in his chest. Her breaths were even now.
Shangqi places a soft kiss to her forehead, as his thumb glides against her red cheeks.
The chain of restraint he held on to so dearly slowly slipping away.
II.
Religion's in your lips
Shangqi had a problem.
He’s had a taste of Katy’s lips and he can’t seem to stop thinking about it.
It happened one drunken karaoke night. He didn’t know who initiated it first, but what he did know was that having her lips upon his was like tasting the finest wine.
Addicting and delicious .
He couldn’t get enough of it. He never knew she was a good kisser. Her mouth meld into his in a kiss that was an earth-shattering experience that he wonders how he’s ever made it out alive without it. Every kiss, every hook up was inconsequential compared to the way her tongue, velvety and smooth, swiped across his lips asking for permission. He pulls her closer, angling her head so he can get better access.
The ember in him had turned into a large flame of want.
He wanted her, needed her.
All reason was thrown out the window as she moved from the couch and positioned herself into his lap. She grinds down experimentally at first, as if gauging if this would affect him the same way it has her.
Fuck. Shangqi groans, moving his hand from the back of her neck down to her hips, supporting her as she rubs her sex on him. He feels his cock harden, reciprocating her actions as he thrusts up to meet her halfway.
“ Shaun, ” Katy gasps into his ear, fingers threading into his hair, pulling at them slightly.
He’s been with a lot of women before, but nothing was sexier in his ears than hearing Katy moan his name while they dry hump in the dark karaoke booth. It was quiet now, the song they last entered long forgotten.
He places a kiss on her cheeks, then her underside of her jaw, down to her neck. Katy returns the favor by placing a kiss to his forehead, muttering words of praises on the skin there.
Shangqi was opening the third button of Katy’s blouse when he comes to his senses again.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” Katy asks, staring down at him in confusion. She looked ethereal, a goddess amongst men with her swollen lips and dishevelled hair.
It wouldn’t be right to take her this way. She was his best friend, the only woman he’s ever loved, and he refused to take her in an empty karaoke both while they were both drunk.
The chains of restraint tightened themselves as Shangqi places Katy back on the couch. He was more careful now, putting a good distance between them as he discreetly covers up his raging hard on with his jacket.
God, he was stupid.
“We’re drunk,” he says quietly. “I refuse to let this happen this way.”
Katy seemed to have water doused on her, waking to a realization that something almost happened that could compromise their friendship. She utters a quiet sorry then buttons her blouse once more.
They part ways that night unusually quiet. No playful banter, no teasing.
If she had any clue that she knew what events almost transpired last night, Katy hid them very well in the morning after. Her smile was still bright, clueless. Shangqi doesn’t know whether he should be thankful for it.
But he proceeds to do what he does best, he compartmentalizes and blames their actions on the copious amounts of alcohol they drank.
III.
I think she knows
Sometimes he finds himself staring at Katy. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t notice this before – probably because he never canoodled with her prior to this moment – but her neck was irresistible. He spends the most of his days looking over at the expanse of her skin there. How it would feel to get a taste of her again.
Katy stood a little taller now, a little more confident. And he’s never seen anything sexier.
It was distracting – if he was being honest – seeing her fold her elbows back with an arrow in her hand and her eyes deadset on the target. She looked powerful with her bow and arrow as they trained in the New Avengers compound.
Ever since their little misadventure a few weeks ago, Shangqi’s had sex with one woman who – in no offense – wasn’t close to getting him off. All he could remember as he buried his dick into them was how Katy sounded like in that karaoke booth.
Her little gasps of pleasure as she ground her clothed sex on top of his. He hadn’t had sex with anyone since.
They never talk about that fateful night. But it was clear that something in their relationship has changed.
They flirted and skirted across each other like two moths near a raging flame. He finds that he likes the playful glint in her eyes when she catches him staring at her. He loves the little jolt of electricity he gets when they touch.
But he doesn’t act on it – in fact – neither of them do. They were best friends, who sometimes flirt with each other, and are probably attracted to one another. No harm in that, right ?
“Take a picture, it’ll last you longer.” Kate Bishop teases from behind him. She was dressed in her training gear and was probably heading back to practice before she spotted him ogling at his best friend.
Shangqi tries his best to hide the flush in his cheeks from getting caught.
“How is she fairing during your lessons?” he remarks, maybe throwing her off his back by asking how Katy is when practicing might help his case.
“She’s good. Exceptionally talented considering she’s only been shooting for a few months.” Kate remarks, her arms folded across her chest.
They stay like that for a while, quietly observing Katy as she shoots arrow after arrow, narrowly hitting the moving targets one by one. She was sexy in her training gear, a pair of Nike leggings and an oversized shirt that he knew she took from his gym bag.
Her chest was heaving from chasing the targets, her shirt sticking to parts of her back. That doesn’t deter his mind from wondering how she might feel underneath him, heaving and panting as he worships every inch of her skin.
“Why are you so thirsty for your best friend anyway?” His daydreaming was interrupted when the woman beside spoke once more.
“I’m not thirsty for her,” he lies through his gritted teeth. “I just think her form is a little off.”
Kate raises an eyebrow at him. “Huh – you wouldn’t care correcting Katy’s form then?”
He breathes through his nose for a moment, willing the barrier he’s built for the last decade or so up so he could shove his growing feelings for his best friend down the drain.
Shangqi gives a curt nod then enters the room after Kate has opened the door.
Katy smiles at him as he approaches and he could feel his heart tug a little too hard in his chest. She really did have the most beautiful smile.
“Hey, Shaun –” she starts before something clicks inside her head. “—chi. Shangqi . Sorry force of habit.”
She puts down her bow and arrow beside her then faces him. “What brings you here today? Lunch isn’t for another hour?”
“Um…” he rubs at his neck sheepishly. Before he gets to answer though, Kate beats him to it.
“He’s here to correct your form,” she tells him, batting her eyes innocently.
“My form?” Katy brows furrow. “I didn’t know you knew archery.”
“I don’t,” he shrugs. “But I do know the proper form, from reading those manuals you bring home every day.”
Katy raises her shoulders nonchalantly, picking up her bow and arrow from the ground beside her. She places herself in position then turns to look at him.
“Show me then,” she says, challenging him.
Shangqi moves closer to her, guiding her extended arm upward. Once he was satisfied, he places his hands on her hips, gently guiding her to the proper position. He tries his hardest not to place a kiss on the smooth skin in front of him, and focuses on fixing her gaze to the target.
“All done,” he whispers into her ear.
Katy sags a little, her back flush against his chest as she purrs a little. It’s hard not to let his imagination run wild.
“Katy…” he almost growls, his voice a low warning.
“What?” she flashes him an innocent smile, tiptoeing to place a kiss on his jaw. He looks around to see if anyone else had seen it, and unsurprisingly, Kate was nowhere near the vicinity.
‘ Next time, don’t lie to me. ’
That was Kate’s foreboding text that he receives after him and Katy had their lunch.
‘ Affirmative. ’
IV.
I don't want you like a best friend
Shangqi thinks Katy is smoking hot
That sentiment was backed by the fact that his maybe-lover-still-best friend walked into the room with her copper-colored gown looking like a snack. The gown had a plunging neckline in the front, exposing her deliciously milky skin there. The bodice hugged her body in all the right places, then the rest fell to the floor.
Even with her heels on, she was still a shy away from his chin. And God , did that put images in his head. One that preferably has her dress discarded on the ground.
Her hand makes contact with his chest, patting it lightly so she could grab his attention.
“You okay there, buddy?” She asks, craning her head a little to get a glimpse of his eyes.
Shangqi’s hands snake to her back, loving the way she shivers under his touch.
“More than good, actually,” he whispers back to her, placing a small kiss on her temple, he finds that he doesn’t mind anyone seeing him be affectionate with her. “You look stunning.”
Pepper Potts walked up the stage to thank the attendees and to announce the beneficiaries for that year's Stark Relief Foundation gala. His best attempts to listen to the speech were in vain, when Katy’s hand continues to rub circles on his thighs.
It was torture having to endure it for the next fifteen minutes.
Only after they’ve had dinner and was now settled in the balcony did he have the heart to confront her.
Manhattan was chilly this time of year, the cold autumn wind blowing against his skin. He shrugs off his coat then drops them on Katy’s shoulder. She gave him a grateful smile before settling on his side, her head to his arm.
“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” he whispers, as they stare at the lights below, voice drowned by the howling wind.
Katy turns to look at him, the lights softly illuminating her features.
“I know.” she tells him, there was that playful glint again, asking him, challenging him. “What are you going to do about it?”
His arm snakes its way to her waist pulling her flush to his body, while his free hand pushes the hair away from her face. Her fingers glide across his chest.
“You’re my best friend,” his words the exact opposite of what he was doing, his lips hovering above hers. “Aren’t you scared we’ll fuck this up?”
“Terrified,” her breath fans against his skin as she answers. Her fingers have now made their way up his hair, toying with it, as if fascinated how smooth they felt under her touch. “But I want you,”
“You want me?” he surprises himself at the amount of longing there is in his voice. His thumbs brushing against her the skin of her cheeks. Katy leans closer against his palm.
“So bad,” her eyes closed as she relishes the heat of his hand. “So if you could kiss me, please. Or should-”
He cuts off her words by connecting their lips in a searing kiss. It tasted every bit as wonderful as the first time he tasted it. They move in unison, a decade’s worth of pent up desire poured into a single kiss.
Their tongues dancing in a fight for dominance. Restraint was now a nine letter word that held little meaning to him. Especially when she hums appreciatively against his lips. Her fingers scratch the back of his neck, and he can’t help but groan in return.
They release themselves from their kiss with a pop, absolutely caught in their moment of bliss. Katy chases after his lips, placing one peck, then another.
“I swear this is better than that time at the karaoke.” she remarks, and Shangqi laughs despite himself.
V.
Dancing with our hands tied
After the party was over, the young couple finds themselves in a predicament. They stood in front of the open door to their shared apartment, a palpable tension hanging in the air.
This was it – he thinks as he stares at Katy’s bright obsidian eyes. She had that familiar charming smile etched upon her lips, as she stares up at him.
Shangqi knew that the moment they entered their apartment, they would cross a line that would forever change their relationship. He stared down at her, eyes searching hers for signs of hesitation – there were none.
So, he leans down, capturing her lips in a kiss for the second time that evening. He would never get enough of her – he doesn’t think he ever will.
Katy pulls him closer to her, her hands fisted against the lapels of his shirt. He gently guides them inside making sure to lock the door behind him.
No interruptions.
Because only God knew how much he yearned for this moment.
His kisses moved from her lips to the shell of her ear, feeling her shudder the more he got closer to her pulse. He’s got Katy pressed up against the wall, her head tilted to the side as she lets out raspy moans in his ears. Her words of encouragement only fuelled his need to pleasure her more.
“Where’s the zipper?” his voice husky, face still buried in her neck. Katy holds his hand in her hers and guided them to her side where he feels a teardrop-shaped zipper. He’s careful not to let the zipper bite against her skin.
If he didn’t know how much the dress cost, he would’ve ripped the darn thing in half. But he takes his time, commends himself for being so patient.
Once the zipper reached the end, his breath hitches with anticipation.
Katy shrugs the dress off with the moonlight illuminating her curves. Her nipples perk up as they get hit by the cold air. The only covering on her body was a pair of lace panties, that he swore he was going to rip to shreds later. He spends a minute admiring her body, loving every imperfection in her skin.
“I know I’m a little pudgy around places,” Katy whispers, now a little self-conscious, and he curses himself for not speaking up sooner.
Because she was beautiful. He reaches out to her, gently coaxing her into a kiss. “You’re perfect, Katy Chen.”
She gives him a shy smile, reciprocating his kisses as she works the buttons of his shirt. The feeling of their bare chests connecting was intimate. A secret only the two of them knew.
His hand finds one of her breasts, squeezing experimentally to know how much pressure she likes.
Tonight was about her. Making sure she was getting the best orgasm of her life. Her pleasure was his top priority.
Katy moans, a little louder now, once he flicks the bud on her chest while his other hand traced her folds through her now slick panties. Her palms lay flat against his chest, following the crevices in between his muscles.
“Fuck,” she breathes heavily, her back arching as he continued to palm her sex. “Shaun, Shangqi…”
There was nothing sexier than hearing his name slip from her lips as he pleasures her.
“I need you…” she manages to squeak. “- please.”
Aiming to please, Shangqi taps on the back of her thighs asking her to wrap her legs around his hips – which she happily obliges to – as he carries them to his bedroom. Katy doesn’t stop peppering his face with kisses as he walks them to the room.
He places her softly down the mattress, then shrugs his shirt from his shoulder. Katy stares at him appreciatively, he doesn’t know of a sight that’s sexier. He unbuckles his belt and lets his pants pool on the floor.
The glazed look on Katy’s eyes as she admires his body was enough to give himself an ego boost, her pupils moving downward and focuses on his now hard cock.
“Like what you see?” An eyebrow raised, a teasing lilt to his voice. Katy leans back on her elbows, head tilted to the side.
“Oh, I’m definitely enjoying the view from here,” she retorts back, her lip to her teeth. “You wanna…” she winks at him then clicks her tongue twice, the both of them falling into laughter at her attempts to seduce him.
Part of him thinks it worked as he crawled towards her, dipping his head on the crook of her neck. Katy murmurs something incoherent near his ear. Taking it as a good sign, Shangqi moves southward, placing wet kisses on the top of her collarbones, then taking one of her nipples into his mouth.
The sharp intake of breath she makes travels to his cock. He swirls his tongue around the bud, his other hand pinching the other. Once he was satisfied, he went lower, loving the way her skin trembled as brushes his lips against her stomach.
One of his hands tapped on the inside of her thighs, asking her to part them for him. He catches a whiff of her clothed sex, and he thinks he’s addicted. Shangqi grasps the waistband of her panties with his teeth, pulling them downward, Katy assisting him by lifting her hips.
She was a sight to beholden.
Her nether curls were trimmed to a tee, glistening with her juices. He feels his mouth run dry. His thumb presses to her clit, gauging to see if she enjoys it. The sound she elicits confirms this, so he continues.
“You’re so wet for me,” he hums, placing a kiss on the inside of her thighs, his thumbs still rubbing circles on her clit. “Tell me what you want, baby.”
Katy lets out a strangled moan, trying to form words to communicate with him. “mouth on me…”
Shangqi pretends not to hear, still continuing to rub on the nub. “What was that, love?”
She props on her elbows, her eyes making contact with his. “I want your mouth on me…” she sighs, then squeals a little when he turns his thumb a certain way.
He smirks as he licks her folds, tracing the lines up then down before swirling his tongue on her clit. One of his arms was wrapped around her ass, pulling her close while the other traced her opening. When he feels that she was ready, he inserts a finger in her. Then two, pumping in and out slowly at first, then picking up the pace once he knew what she liked.
She was tight.
He can only imagine how his cock must feel inside her, the thought makes him buck his hips a little against the mattress.
Her moans were breathy and throaty, like she was on the verge of screaming but wasn’t quite there yet. She started bucking her hips now, her finger threading against his hair, pushing him closer to her sex. Shangqi curls his fingers inside her, loving the way she lets out another strangled moan when he angles his fingers that certain spot.
She says his name like a prayer – over and over again – as he continues his ministrations. His dick was becoming painfully hard inside his boxers, but he didn’t care. He can chase after his own release later, once she was finished with hers.
Afterall, he did aim to give her the best orgasm of her life.
“ More…” she pleads, her back arching in pleasure.
By the time he adds a third finger, Katy was bucking her hips wildly, chasing after an oncoming climax. He feels her clench around his fingers. She was close.
“Come for me, Katy.” He whispers against the skin of her thigh, fingers still pumping with his thumb replacing his lips. Katy answers him with a sharp cry, her orgasms coming in waves as she rode his fingers.
He pumps into her a few more times before he pulls out, bringing his fingers to his lips, licking them as she watches.
“How’d I do?” he whispers as he leans down to place a kiss on her lips.
She takes a while to answer, catching her breath, a thin sheen of sweat covering her body. “Anyone ever tell you’ve got a talented mouth?”
They both erupt into laughter after that.
They go for a few more rounds of what he considers vanilla sex before they’re consumed by exhaustion. He was so scared of hurting her, marking her, that he doesn’t give it his all. He finds that he doesn’t mind it at all, as long as he was with Katy, everything was good.
+1.
Call it what you want to
When he wakes up in the morning, he finds her spot empty. Disappointment flashes his features. If it was all in his dreams, the world must really be cruel. Thankfully, Katy enters the room in his shirt, in her hand was a cup of water.
“Hey, stranger.” She says with a smile, leaning against the door frame of his room. He walks towards her, naked as the day he was born, his hand positioned on the top of her hips, brushing his thumb lightly against it.
“Hey, you.” He whispers against her skin after places a kiss to her temple. “I had fun last night.”
Katy hums in response, placing a kiss on the underside of his jaw. She walks over to his nightstand, placing the cup of water on top of it as she slowly unbuttons her shirt.
If he thought that she was perfect last night with just the moon illuminating her, she was breathtaking in this moment. His shirt slowly slid against her skin, before pooling on her feet.
As she walks towards him, he drowns in the sound of his own pulse. She really was perfect, every inch, every crevice was a masterpiece.
“I can’t help but feel that you were holding back on me last night.” Katy gives a small kiss to his chest.
Shangqi swallows the lump on his throat. Seeing his Adam’s apple bob up then down must’ve triggered something in her, her small hand willing him to look down at her and meet her eyes.
“I want you to mark me,” she declares with much sincerity. Her lips place another loving kiss to his skin. “I want you to fuck me senseless, bend me over sideways, take me in every position possible. Make love to me on every counter, every room.
With every confession, she places a kiss on skin – his neck, his shoulder, his biceps, then his knuckles. “I want you, Shangqi. I’ve wanted you even before that night in the karaoke booth. I-”
“I love you,” they both say in unison. He grins as he brushes his nose against hers before bending down to meet her lips in a chaste kiss, body tingling with anticipation.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks, the final thread of restraint holding him back.
Katy smiles at him, her flat palms traveling downward to grip his cock, this was her quiet answer. Her fingers slowly, pumping his member up and down while her lips reach up to meet his. She gives him a squeeze.
Against her lips, in their quiet Manhattan apartment, he groans bucking his hips in unison with her hand.
Both his hands fly against the side of her face, cradling her head as she continues to pump his dick. Katy places a hand on chest, putting a little bit of space between them. While keeping eye contact with him, she kneels.
Maybe he did save a country in his former life, because the sight before him was glorious.
He's never seen anything hotter.
As Katy’s tongue swirls against the tip of his member – licking at the pre-cum that's accumulated there – he lets out a long groan. His fingers find their way to her hair, gently pulling at it as if to tell her that she made him feel good. Taking this as a good sign, Katy bobs her head up and down, taking what she can of his penis inside her while her hands work his base.
Involuntarily, he bucks his hips against her mouth. His member is now twitching in anticipation. A sensation pools against his stomach. He was close.
“Katy…” he mutters breathlessly. “I’m close.”
She hums with him inside her mouth, the vibrations it sent to his member was delicious as he neared his peak. He didn’t know what prompted her to pull back, her mouth letting go of his cock with a ‘pop’.
He almost lets out a whine of protest, before he sees her walk towards his nightstand where he kept a box of condoms. She tears a pack, rolling it on his member, while she peppers him with kisses.
“Take me against the wall,” she orders, biting his earlobe lightly. He didn’t know being ordered around turned him on.
And he was willing to bet that he wanted to explore every bit of his sexual adventure with her.
He grabs a hold of her ass carrying her with ease, then presses Katy’s back against the wall. He gives her a grin as he traces her folds with the tip of his member. “Yes, ma’am”
He plunges into her slowly, the both of them groaning in pleasure at the contact. Their foreheads connect as they relish the feeling of them connected.
"You're so big," she sighs against him. He only answers her with a lazy kiss to her shoulder.
They take a minute for Katy to adjust to his size. When she was ready, she wiggled her hips a little to signal to him that it was good for him to move. Shagnqi pulls out until just the tip of his member is inside her, then plunges deep.
He does it slowly at first, her every gasp music to his ear.
Once he got into the rhythm, he pounds into her, Katy pulling at his hair in pleasure. The only sound that could be heard in the room was skin slapping against each other and soft gasps.
“I love you,” he whispers against her skin.
“I love you too,” was her breathless answer. She hides her face on the crook of his neck, reaching down to their connected sexes to rub on her clit. The new stimulus pushing her closer to the edge.
She throws her head back, mouth agape. “I’m coming. God, Shangqi! Please…” she pleads.
“I’m here baby, come for me.” He coaxes her, his thrusts were long, and deep now. He feels him clench around his member, her hips grinding back against him.
Katy screams his name as she comes, her body shaking with intensity as she rides out her climax. Once that was done, he moves them again on the bed, raising one of her legs against his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist. The new position has Katy digging her nails into him, his hips bucking at irregular pace, his own climax near the horizon. He bites on her shoulder lightly, begging and pleading for her to end his suffering. Katy meets his thrusts, gasping each time at the sensation.
It didn’t take long for him to follow her, his sight blacking out for a second from pleasure. He pumps a few more times into her before resting his head on her shoulder, being careful not to put his whole weight on her.
After he catches his breath, he pulls out of her, tying the used condom and discarding it in the trash can near the bed. He rolls to her side, occupying the space beside her.
"Wait here," he sneaks a kiss on her shoulder before he disappears towards the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean himself. He grabs another for Katy.
Katy was watching him lazily as he gets back, allowing him to clean her down there, too tired to move.
He makes a move towards the bed, settling by Katy's side, offering her his arm. Katy snuggles close to his chest, pulling up the duvet to cover their naked bodies.
"How are you feeling?" He asks her, brushing her hair away from her face.
"So so good," she answers, their early love-making session finally catching up to her. "You know, I'd let you fuck me ten more ways if I wasn't so sore right now."
His laugh rumbles against his chest, as he presses a small kiss on her forehead. "We can do that some other time."
Katy mumbles something incoherent in his chest. They lay like that for a few moments, his hand caressing her hair while she's lulled to sleep.
"I just remembered something," she cranes her head towards him. Shangqi hums in response. "So, we're definitely over the friendzone now?"
"Definitely," he nuzzles his nose sleepily on the top of her head. They can discuss the matter of labels later, when they've both replenished their strengths.
For now, however, he was content lying here with her. His heart was now finally at peace.