Chapter Text
Sothis knew Byleth would come to her soon. After the three armies had clashed on Gronder Field and were now working on retreating to lick their wounds, Dimitri had run straight into death’s embrace under the excuse of wanting to kill Edelgard. Perhaps his snarling and violent outbursts fooled his allies and friends, but they didn’t fool Sothis. Nor Byleth.
Sure enough, Byleth appeared before her in her throne room.
“Again,” Byleth said. “Siding with Claude didn’t help as much as I had hoped.”
“You can’t save them all,” Sothis told Byleth what she had told her many times now. “Not by going back to when you first met them.”
The first time, Byleth had outright ignored her. The second time, she had heard but she had been too angry to let her speak. The third time; Byleth had been desperate to immediately try again, though it seemed she was starting coming to terms with the possibility that Sothis was right after all. Now, on the fourth time, it seemed that her words were being truly heard. Or, perhaps Byleth was too tired to go back and try her luck again.
“Then when should I go?!” Byleth cried. “I’ve tried everything…! Rhea thinks I’m you but without your memories, El thinks the church is to blame for her two crests and not the people she is allied with, Claude is clever but he’s not able to make everybody listen and Dimitri—!”
When she said his name, Byleth broke into sobs. She had just seen with her own eyes the gruesome spectacle that Hilda had reported on her first pass through Gronder Field. The countless imperial soldiers piercing at his fallen body repeatedly, screaming for him to die already you fucking monster. Byleth had tried to get them off him, and had nearly died in the attempt. But for all of her efforts, she had only been able to see his sad, despairing smile as he exhaled his last breath.
Dimitri was actually glad to die. It had nothing to do with the pain from his wounds, but rather with the slow-burning agony he had been in for over nine years since the Tragedy of Duscur.
With every pass of the timeline Byleth had done, Sothis remembered more of her power. As the Goddess, she actually had the ability to discern the many parallel possibilities that existed depending on certain circumstances or choices. In the downtime when Byleth was trying to make everyone happy— and if not that, at least stay alive— Sothis had tapped into every possibility she could find. Most timelines played quite similar to what Byleth had seen and known now.
Sothis then started to explore the possibilities further back. Some of them resulted in partial victories. Dimitri had died in Duscur, but his father had survived. Lambert had managed to reconnect with his stepdaughter and promised to not only get the people that had murdered his wife and son, but had hurt his daughter, too. Claude was raised in a more tolerant Almyra, but at the cost of Edelgard’s life when she perished protecting him from a viper bite as a child, her courage inspiring the nation to acknowledge the tenacity and courage of the people from Fódlan.Claude and Dimitri had been fine, but Edelgard had died from that bandit attack when Byleth first met them. Sothis knew, that none of these options would satisfy Byleth.
However, there was… one thread of time that Sothis had her eye on that seemed quite promising. It was quite simple. On the day Tomas was murdered and replaced by an Agarthan agent, Jeralt could prevent that from happening. He could then bring Rhea’s attention to the nefarious actions of the Agarthans. She would then quietly mobilize the knights and some nobles into a shadow war against them, their victory over the City with No Light a footnote in history that would be forgotten by the sands of time, washed away by the joy and peace that would follow the next years when the royal prince, the imperial princess and the great duke would grow and forge a friendship stronger than any steel.
Unfortunately, out of all the nights the Agarthans could have chosen to strike, they had to choose the one where Byleth had been conceived. If it had been earlier or later, it would’ve been fine by her. But Sothis had checked and triple checked. There was no timeline for Byleth to be conceived and for Solon to be caught. It was either one or the other.
Sothis knew she now had enough strength to pull it off. But, if she denied Byleth the possibility of being born…
“Dimitri…” Byleth wailed, having never stopped her crying ever since she had first broken down. “I’m so sorry… I’ve abandoned you again. You died alone and scared again… I’m sorry.”
“…” Sothis took in a deep breath. “There is… one possibility.”
Byleth immediately rose her head.
“But it comes at a terrible price,” Sothis shook her head. “One that will cost you everything.”
“If Dimitri dies or is miserable, I don’t want it.” Byleth sniffed.
“Dimitri will live a happy life, if you take this choice. He’ll be raised in a warm home, surrounded by his family and friends. He’ll never go through the Tragedy of Duscur, and he’ll get to grow into a kind and just king. He’ll marry his childhood sweetheart, grow to be close friends with Edelgard and Claude, have children of his own and even die peacefully after a long and fulfilling life, surrounded by his children and grandchildren’s love. His dynasty would last generations, but the changes started in government between his father’s and his reigns would eventually make the people capable of choosing their own leaders. The importance of crests and noble lineages would be reduced. Neither would determine people’s destinies in the future ahead of this timeline.” Sothis explained. “But…”
“Edelgard? Does Edelgard have to die? Or Rhea?” Byleth asked, weary of how perfect the possibility sounded. Of how easy it seemed. By now she knew all-too-well that it must surely come at a terrible price.
She was right, but not for the reason she suspected.
“No. She’ll also live a happy life, without the pain of having two crests. All of her family would be alive and well. Rhea will not allow her delusions and loneliness consume her, and will finally allow the past to rest and set her eyes on the future,” Sothis reassured her. “See, this timeline will fix the start of the current glut of problems. The Agarthans first replaced Tomas, and once they had control of the Church’s flow of information, they managed to cause all sorts of havoc through Fódlan.”
“The Agarthans…those fucking bitches!” Byleth howled, clenching her fists. “What do I need to do to stop them? How far do I need to go to stop Tomas from being supplanted?”
“You wouldn’t be able to stop it. Jeralt would. But for him to be able to stop Solon, Jeralt would not be in Sitri’s bed that night. And without him here…”
“Oh.”
“…Do you know what that means?”
“That I never would have been born?”
Sothis nodded.
“So in exchange for my life—No. My very existence— everybody would be able to live a happy, fulfilling and peaceful life?”
“I suppose that’s one way of putting it…” Sothis sighed. “And judging from your tone, you’re strongly considering it.”
“It would be a good choice. Even when I was with Dimitri the first time, he always carried some regret for killing his sister. He’d never tell me, but I knew…” Byleth clenched her fist over her unbeating heart. “The voices of the dead clung to him for years. The night after our son showed us our grandchild, I heard him mumbling for forgiveness for being so happy and blessed.”
“Byleth—”
“I love him, Sothis. You know that. I want him to have his heart so full of happiness, that he never has any space in his heart to feel sorrow.”
“And he loves you too, you fool!” Sothis let out a frustrated huff. “How do you think he’d feel like, without being able to love you?!”
“But he’d have his family! His friends!” Byleth’s voice grew quiet. “His childhood sweetheart and his own children.”
Tears ran down Byleth’s eyes. But she didn’t break into sobs. Her sadness was so overwhelming, she couldn’t even cry out and scream anymore.
“I…” Byleth took a shaking breath. “I don’t mind, not sharing that with him. If he can have the joys of married life and never know the pain he knew in Duscur… If he has to share that with another, I— I will be fine.”
Liar.
“It’s not like I’ll be around to worry about that!” She smiled, but her tears ran down her face as she did. “Please, do it Sothis. Please fix this in my stead.”
“If you’re sure… then I will do it. But only because you asked.”
“Thank you,” Byleth sighed. “I only wish… that I could’ve seen him live out his best life. Even if it’s without me.”
Silence fell upon both of them.
“Sothis? Can you do me one favor? Can you… please watch over Dimitri? For me?”
“I can do that, yes.” Sothis nodded. “I’ll make sure he lives a happy life, too.”
“Thank you,” Byleth hiccuped. “I— I really don’t have anything else to say but… Thank you, Sothis.”
“I should be the one thanking you, actually… Being with you and observing the world through your eyes has been quite enlightening.” Sothis then took the chance to deliver a small joke, just to get one last smile out of Byleth. “And I’ll never forget the many, many hours you spent fishing.”
“Hey, it’s a relaxing hobby!” Byleth let out a genuine chuckle. “You know the students would drive anybody up the wall sometimes…!”
“Honestly, your willingness to go through with teaching them over and over again only makes you someone even more admirable in my book!” Sothis smiled. “So… thank you, Byleth. Perhaps, someday, you might even have a chance to be born again in a much more peaceful world?”
“…” Byleth nodded. “Honestly, after fighting the same war four times, I think I wouldn’t mind living in a peaceful time for a change!”
But both Sothis and Byleth knew, that fate was a finicky thing. Even the slightest change in one thing could ripple out into completely different outcomes throughout eternity. It was possible for someone that had never existed before to be born in the future… but it was so unlikely, it was as good as impossible.
Still. It was a nice little fantasy to make their farewell seem a little less bitter.
So both played at believing it. Even if it was for a moment.