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Genya has been avoiding you.
It’s strange. He’s never avoided you, even when Sanemi is around. He’s always made it a point to greet you if you came across each other, always made it a point to keep you company when Sanemi is away on missions.
What you don’t know is that it’s the first sign.
Sanemi comes home without his haori on. When you ask, he says it got shredded by a demon. It comes from his mouth so easily that you instinctively believe him -- why would he lie? He doesn’t stop you from making him a new one, and he only grunts when you tell him to be more careful.
Except, later on, you realize that it doesn’t make sense that any demon got close enough to even tear his haori, much less shred it. That’s the second sign.
You’re dusting in his office when Sanemi returns from another mission.
“What are you doing in here?” He yells. It startles you enough that you drop the duster and spin around instantly, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Sanemi is known for his temper, but he’s never gotten this way over you being in his office. He’s never gotten this way about you being anywhere in the estate.
“Cleaning, ” you answer hastily, like a small child caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. You weren’t doing anything wrong -- something you’d realize later.
He ushers you out of his office in a rush and tells you that you don’t have to clean in there anymore. That he’s embarrassed he’s letting his wife clean up after his messes. “I’ll take care of it from now on, so don’t worry about it. You won’t even have to step foot in there. ”
It’s the third sign, and it’s when the little alarms in the back of your head start to go off. You ignore them. What does Sanemi have to hide?
You start to notice that Sanemi has been watching the skies a lot more than normal. It’s then that you remember that you also haven’t seen his crow around as much as you usually do. Normally, it’s always nearby, just in case you need to contact Sanemi when he’s away. Lately, it’s been absent.
You ask him what exactly he’s looking for since it’s a cloudless day. If his crow was coming, it would only take a glance to find it, but Sanemi is watching the sky intently.
He doesn’t look at you when he starts to speak. “Oyakata-sama has been calling for more missions and more meetings. Ever since that Kamado kid joined the Corps, the demons have been more aggressive.”
You’re skeptical. Even if he has been going on more missions -- at least that has some truth to it -- it’s not like he has to watch for his crow. It literally comes right to him, no matter the time or the weather. It even wakes him up when he’s asleep.
It’s the fourth sign. You start becoming suspicious.
You ask him outright. “Are you seeing someone else?”
He scoffs. “Don’t ask stupid questions. When would I even have time?” He doesn’t even look in your direction when he says it, and it’s not a direct no.
That’s the fifth sign.
You’re watching him train when his crow approaches. You’ve never seen Sanemi stop dead in his tracks in the middle of a breathing technique. He does when he notices his crow.
When he retrieves the letter attached to its foot and opens it, he gets this smile on his face. It’s a smile that you know well -- because it’s the smile that you would get when you received letters from him. You can only describe it as lovestruck. Anger starts to boil in the pit of your stomach.
He walks right past you to disappear into his office and you're so shocked you can only stare, speechless. It only takes a few minutes for him to come back outside, and when he does, he has a new letter in hand and that dumb smile still on his face. He folds the letter and ties it neatly to his crow. It takes off, and he watches it until it leaves his line of sight.
When he finally turns to look at you, it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you’re fuming. He’s still got that stupid fucking smile on his face.
You storm up to him and shove him. Sanemi doesn’t even budge. “Who are you talking to? Who was that letter for?”
It’s only then that the smile falls, replaced with the deepest, most intense scowl you’ve ever seen on his face. “What the fuck is your problem? It’s none of your business.”
You try to shove him again and he catches your arms, anger radiating from him in waves. “It is my business! I’m your goddamn wife!” You scream, thrashing in his hold. “Don’t lie to me, Sanemi. Who the fuck was that letter for?”
When he shoves you off of him, you fall straight to the ground. He doesn’t care. You’re too shocked to even stand up and confront him again. Sanemi walks past you and doesn’t turn to look at you when he speaks. “As I said, it’s none of your business.”
It’s the sixth and final sign.
After that, Sanemi is extremely distant. Any attempt you make to bridge the gap or even just have a talk with him falls flat, and eventually, you stop trying. You two sleep in separate rooms, and he goes out of his way to avoid running into you.
As winter creeps in, you’ve never felt more cold and alone. You can’t help but wonder how it came to this; it seemed like yesterday that you were happily married. Now you can’t even say for sure if he still loves you.
Snow is drifting on the wind when you finally get the strength to confirm the fears you’ve had. There have been footsteps through the halls of the estate, and you know for a fact that it’s Genya. Now, Sanemi doesn’t even set foot on this side of his own home.
If Genya is here, that means Sanemi is not. It’s time to take action.
You creep over to the other side of the estate, the side that used to be so warm with the company of your husband. He’s on a mission, but that’s not the reason why the air chills you to the bone.
You approach his office quietly. The way you linger in front of the door feels utterly pathetic, but it’s hard to make yourself move. The answers you seek are in there . You’re not even sure you want them.
You press on.
The door slides open way too easily. His office is exceptionally tidy -- like he was telling the truth when he said he would keep up with it. It doesn’t bring you any peace.
You carefully walk over to his desk. You can’t help but trail your fingers over the wood, trace the grain of it -- can’t help but remember what things used to be like. When the two of you were happy together -- when you’d come bring him meals, or drag him to bed, or just sit in here and spend time with him while he sorted through Corps paperwork.
That was all a long time ago.
You tug open the drawer where he keeps all the letters he receives. Gently, you pull out a stack of the ones on the top, the most recent letters. Oyakata-sama, Oyakata-sama, Iguro, Genya, Oyakata-sama… and then.
Your hands start shaking uncontrollably. The strength goes out of your knees and you fall to the floor, already curling in on yourself as you read.
When are you coming back? I miss you dearly.
Good morning, my love. Care to join me for tea and an afternoon in town again?
I still have your haori. I’m afraid I haven’t worn it much, I don’t want it to stop smelling like you.
I love you. Return safely.
Innocuous things. Things you’ve said to him before. But these -- these aren’t your letters.
The wail you let out makes your throat hoarse. Tears stream down your cheeks endlessly as you sob, there on your knees, alone on the ground. Sanemi -- Sanemi --
You don’t even hear the footsteps that rapidly approach your location. Your world is collapsing in on itself; you’re drowning in grief at the proof of Sanemi’s infidelity. When you feel hands on your shoulders, you immediately thrash, shoving the person away.
The shouts of your name are what finally get you to look up and try to make sense of your blurry vision. You’re shaking intensely and the world feels like it’s spinning and you can’t seem to catch your breath, but --
“...Genya?” You whisper, staring at him, letters still clutched in your hands.
Genya doesn’t really know what to do with himself. He’s never been in a situation like this -- he doesn’t know what you need. He’s never seen you look so small and broken and he doesn’t know what to do. When he offers his hand to help you stand, you just stare at it. Slowly, he lowers himself to the ground next to you.
“What happened?” He asks.
It only makes the floodgates burst wider. Your words are barely intelligible as you sob, so you shove the letters in his direction.
It only takes him a glance to put the pieces together. So now you know.
(Genya has known for a while. It’s why he’s been avoiding you.
He had just finished a mission in a rather distant town when he saw them. Sanemi, and a random woman that wasn’t you. He was presenting her with flowers he’d just bought from a merchant, and she smiled sugar-sweet at him, leaned up for a kiss. Sanemi met her halfway.
When they pulled away from each other, Sanemi happened to glance over her shoulder. Happened to see Genya frozen, staring. Happened to realize that he’d been caught.
Genya turned on his heel and sprinted down the path out of town. Naturally, he didn’t get extremely far before he was intercepted. The moment he found out, he wanted to tell you, but Sanemi --
“I have to tell her!” Genya yelled, storming down the path through the rice fields outside of the town. It was a long way to the Shinazugawa estate, but --
Sanemi snatched his arm and yanked, causing Genya to stumble. “If you tell her--”
“What?” Genya screamed, tugging himself out of his brother’s grip. “What will you do? You’ve already basically disowned me. You already don’t care about me. What more could you possibly do?”
He froze when he felt the blade against his throat. Sanemi’s expression was stone cold. “You’re too pathetic to use a breathing technique, so you eat demons to make up for your weakness. You might as well be one.” He pushed it closer, drew blood. “I’ll make sure you die like one, too.”
Genya stayed at the Himejima estate that night. And the next. And the next. He already knew he wouldn’t be able to face you and lie, or even remain silent. He needed to avoid you at all costs.)
He’s not sure what you want or need right now, but there’s no way he can leave you alone without doing something . So Genya does the only thing he can think of: wrapping his arms around you in a hesitant hug.
You immediately crumble into his embrace. You’re sobbing so hard it’s shaking his body, and your wails are breaking his heart. You don’t deserve this -- never deserve to feel any kind of pain like this, and he’s furious at his brother for putting you through this.
It’s a long time before you calm down. Even then, your grief hangs over you like a dark cloud. You keep your gaze on the floor when Genya guides you to your feet and back to the other side of the estate. He puts a thick blanket over your shoulders and makes you tea. You just stare into the mug.
“(Y/N)?” He says softly. It’s been silent for a long time and he just isn’t sure what to do with himself.
“Did you know?” It’s the first thing you’ve said in hours.
Genya hesitates. “Yes. But he said he would kill me if I told you.”
You scoff. “Typical.” You take a sip of your tea. It’s lukewarm. “Thank you, Genya. For being here for me.”
“Yeah… no problem.”
You don’t speak again until your tea is finished. “I can’t stay here.”
Genya nods solemnly. “Yeah. I know.” He stands, gives you a half-hearted smile. “Please let me know if you need anything.”
Before he can even move, the two of you hear footsteps. Rapid, stomping, angry.
Sanemi slams the door open. His chest is heaving as he scans the room with wild eyes. When his gaze lands on Genya, he draws his sword.
It feels like everything happens in a split second. You throw the blanket to the ground and rush over to Genya in the same moment that Sanemi charges forward. It ends with you standing between the two of them and a sword at your throat. It’s completely still.
Sanemi steps back and sheathes his katana. His eyes stay on yours. “Genya. Leave.”
He hesitates. You take a deep breath. “Go ahead,” you say, “I’ll be fine.” And he leaves.
You and Sanemi stand face to face. You’re both waiting for the other person to speak first.
Finally, he takes a deep breath. “Did Genya put you up to it?”
You raise a brow. “Put me up to what?”
“Going through my office.”
“No. I did that on my own. He didn’t find me until after I found out.” You snicker, scowling at him. “I can’t believe you threatened to kill him.”
He averts his gaze from yours, presses his lips together. “Doesn’t matter. Why did you go through my office?”
“Why did I-- are you serious?" You laugh incredulously. " That’s what you have to say for yourself? I wouldn’t have had to do it if you would have told me the truth."
He remains silent.
"You really don't have anything to say to me?" You yell, tears coming to your eyes again. "No reasons, no apologies, no excuses, nothing?"
When he still remains silent, you head for the door. It's when you start to slide it open that he finally decides to grace you with a response. “I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."
You roll your eyes and spin around to glare at him. "Is that all? Are you sorry for doing it in the first place? Are you sorry for not even respecting me enough to leave me before running off to some other girl?" He has the audacity to stand there looking like a kicked puppy, and it makes you want to punch him in the throat as hard as you can.
He steps forward, reaching for you, and you step back. He sighs. "Listen--"
" What, Sanemi? Please don't tell me you're about to try and justify your actions."
“It feels like we haven’t been together for a long time now.” He says, and it makes you stop and just stare at him. In the face of your silence, he continues. “We’ve just grown apart, and… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know.” You say flatly. “So instead of just talking to me about it or even just divorcing me, you just… what, broke up with me in your head without actually telling me? So you could go run off with someone else without feeling guilty about it?”
“No, don’t say I don’t feel guilty. I do . I just--” He clenches his fists at his sides. "I like her a lot, okay? She makes me really happy."
It's like he's trying to grind the shattered pieces of your heart into dust. Anger rises in you so quickly that you start to shake. "Why the fuck would you tell me that?” You can’t stop yourself from yelling at him. “I thought you loved me ! I thought I made you happy! But you know what, Sanemi?" You storm up to him, yank your wedding ring off of your finger, grab his hand, and slam it into his palm. "Since you like her so much, and since she makes you so happy, why don't you just marry her? "
He stares at the ring in his hand. He looks utterly pathetic. “Because I do still love you. I don’t know, I -- I didn’t want you to leave me.”
You can’t stop the tears from falling, even as you glare at him. “Maybe you should have thought of that.” And the next second, you’re slamming the door shut behind you.