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Where We Used To Love Our Hearts Out

Summary:

Collection of nonchronological one-shots spanning decades in the lives of Kate & Yelena. Each chapter is a standalone piece but they all connect to form a bigger whole. The story will always be finished and never not finished because another piece could come at any time BUT it is not expected or necessary.

Notes:

Hello! If you know me from my other infamous fic "If Love's So Easy, Why Is It Hard?" then let’s get the big question out of the way - no, it’s not abandoned lol. I will get back to her. Her and I clearly have unfinished business and we’re going to sort it out...eventually.

Now, onto this story. If you’ve read the other one then this will be a very similar: nonchronological, can cover a lot of their lives, and a baby might pop up here and there :) Each chapter will be, more often that not, based on Tumblr prompts or inspired by conversations with my followers on Tumblr. At least initially. I already have about a dozen-ish written. Not sure if I’ll just go rogue at some point.

There is no real end or beginning to this story. It could be 10 chapters or it could be 100. It’s meant to be one-shots that allow us to jump in and get glimpses into their lives at different points. Because there is no set end point it means I can always keep building but you don’t ever have to feel like you were left hanging if the building ever stops.

Finally, if you are here to argue about Yelena being Aro/Ace or whatever, please just go read the post I made and save us both the trouble. It’s detailed and has all the sources you will need to see that it is in fact NOT canon that she is either of those things. I’m linking you and everything for easy access: Click Here

And now...ENJOY!

Chapter 1: New Year's Eve

Notes:

The general prompt is “Kate & Yelena’s first NYE”.

Shout-out to the one anon who’s been sending me mini scenes for years that I then expand into much larger stuff. This stemmed from their prompt/their little blurb. There are a few bits of the original in here in the beginning as an honor to them because they’re amazing :]

I created a Social Media AU to go along with this chapter. It’s Kate x Yelena’s NYE and the few days that follow. You can find it here

---

I don't have a beta. Any and all errors are mine.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Despite The Barton's emphatic request that she stay through the New Year, Kate was aware that Clint needed time alone with his family. The mess she started kept him away from them for longer than necessary therefore she graciously bowed out soon after Christmas Day lunch.

Kate had things to do in the city anyway. It was too early to know what would happen with Eleanor and Bishop Security but, during one of her sleepless hours at the farm, Kate decided that if there was anything left to salvage of the company then she was going to do it. If there was nothing left to save she would rebuild. For her parents; for her father. 

Beyond work, Kate had other reasons for wanting to get back. Her mother's first court appearance is set for the week after Christmas and, despite everything, Kate knows her place is by Eleanor’s side.


Kate looks out the window of the black car that picked her up some time ago. Her mind is elsewhere and nowhere; thoughts jumbled in the midst of the blurry zooms of buildings as they dash by. 

"Miss Bishop, we'll be arriving in about five minutes."

The driver’s voice well-nigh startles her. 

"Thank you, Matt."

Kate must have spaced out for longer than she thought because that only felt like a second and all of a sudden she’s back in Manhattan. What was she even musing on about for that long? 

The buzzing on her lap stops her mind from wandering again. A text from Yelena fills up her screen. 

YELENA: Are we getting those drinks you promised now that you are back, Kate Bishop?

KATE: First of all, how did you know I was gone? More importantly, how do you know I'm back if I'm only just getting to my place.

YELENA: It is my job to know things, Kate.

KATE: Should I be worried? Am I next on your list? Do you just want to have drinks so you can off me? Looking for your opening to slip some super cool, untraceable pill in my drink or something?

YELENA: Haha. You think I would make appointment to kill? Also, poison is for cowards. You would be dead now if I wanted it so. And I would use a gun.

Kate doesn’t want to examine how her life got to the point where that was both a turn on and a comfort to read. She shakes her head and smiles at her screen as the car finally pulls up at her building right as another text pops up.

YELENA: This Christmas Market you spoke of, where can I find it?

Kate ponders for a long beat. After a second of hesitation and deliberation she fires off a rapid text.

KATE: Send me your address. I'll pick you up right now.

Kate lowers her phone and looks up at the driver.

"Sorry, change of plans Matt."


Yelena wasn’t joking about hitting all the tourist traps. After a few hours at the market they decide to sit down at one of the benches and go down the rest of Yelena's mental list. Kate breaks out her phone and starts an actual list to keep track of what’s left and what she believes needs to be added.

A proper, non shootout, Rockefeller visit was out of the question thanks to Kate’s lumberjack moment and Yelena had already done The Statue and The Empire State. As Yelena keeps rattling off places, Kate doesn’t hold back when she tells her that the rest of her list is pretty pathetic and nothing but hogwash tourist traps. After learning what she has Kate can’t, in good conscience, leave Yelena to her own devices to see the city. It’s clear it won’t ever be done the right way so she agrees (note: she was never asked) to be Yelena's official tour guide.

They see each other every day after, with Kate slowly introducing Yelena to more and more of her New York. The trip to Katz Deli followed by Magnolia’s Bakery is particularly popular with Yelena but a hole in the wall pizzeria has her perfectly happy, as do street meats from vendors in between stops at the Met and the Museum of Natural History. It doesn’t take long to realize food is the way to impress Yelena and Kate pulls out all the stops to do just that.

They get shawarma at three separate places, all claiming to be the destination of The Avengers after the battle of New York. Kate listens to childhood stories of two kids in Ohio who would grow up to be two of the deadliest women in the world. She smiles at the thought of the woman in front of her, young and lost, whistling knowing she would be found by her big sister.

As New Year's Eve approaches, plans are discussed. Yelena is hell bent on getting the "real" New York experience at Time Square. Kate tells her no "real" New Yorker would ever touch Times Square on any given day, much less for the ball drop. That's a no go for Kate.


On New Year’s Eve Yelena woke up with the insane idea that they go to a bar. If she wasn’t going to be at Times Square then she wanted the next best thing: Yelena wanted to watch her first New York ball drop on a TV as big as possible.

“A bar? On New Year’s? That’s almost as bad as Times Square. We have phones that work just as well.”

“Not as well, Kate. Bigger screen, all the channels. I don’t want to miss any good performances."

Kate pauses and huffs, then a thought pops into her head.

"Would 75 inches be big enough for you?"

"That sounds acceptable. Where is this place?"


Kate leads Yelena to their penthouse's expansive rooftop deck. It's hardly ever used in the winter despite having perfectly good fireplaces to keep you toasty no matter where you go. They can stay here if Yelena is up for it. It's not like her mother is around to object.

It's hard to impress Yelena Belova but this, this is Kate Bishop's pièce de résistance as a tour guide. There are unobstructed picturesque views of New York in all 360 degrees, and yes, that definitely includes Times Square.

“The ball! Look at the ball. Look at it! It’s so big and shiny, like baby’s head! I could kiss it. You Americans. So fun. Evil, but so fun.”

"Will this do?"

"Kate Bishop...will it do? It will more than do."

"Okay, well, divide and conquer then. There's a hardware store a few blocks away. They should still be open and have stuff we need to get this going. I'll show you where the cooler is downstairs. Plenty of places around here that sell booze and snacks. I'll handle the fire if you bring the cooler up. Think you can handle that? Well...you saw how gnarly those stairs are so maybe wait for me to..."

Yelena cuts her off.

"I could put you in cooler and carry you both up the stairs without my heart rate going over sixty five. Yes, I can handle."

Kate wasn't certain if that was intended to be a threat or a line but she enjoyed it as both so, either way, it landed.


Kate pants up the last set of steps connecting the apartment to the rooftop. Her forearms are weighed down with bags overflowing with as much wood, chips, and lighter fluid as she could humanly carry. She wanted to make sure they had enough to last them for as long as they wanted to be out here for, but now, as she clings to the last bit of air in her lungs, Kate ponders if maybe $700 in lumber and gas might have been overkill.

Kate bumps the door open with her shoulder and instantly plonks down every single bag on the floor beside her feet.

"O..k..a..y............I...j..ust......need...a...minu...."

Kate goes silent when she lifts her head and finds the rooftop illuminated by the three roaring fireplaces along with a small feast of food in the process of being set up on the long center table. Yelena, now lit by the warm fire, looks cozy and in control of the space.

"Tsk, you are so slow. I thought you might have been cutting down the trees yourself."

"Wh...yo...HOW?!"

Yelena shrugs and offers nothing but a self-approving smile. She digs her hand into the cooler and produces a beer bottle.

"I got the kind you like."

Yelena twists off the cap before handing both the bottle and the cap to Kate then walking past her on her way to the bags Kate had unmannerly dumped by the entrance. Kate stares at both things in her hand. She has never been able to do that. She swears it's a myth. She refuses to believe twist offs actually exist because no matter how hard she “twists” they never come “off”. She's tried hard enough to the point of making her hands bleed, and yet, here Yelena was doing it so effortlessly. Stupid. So stupid. She hated it.

Kate huffs and refuses to help Yelena move all the wood she'd brought up. She figures carrying them five blocks, an eighteen floor elevator ride, plus a really shitty spiral staircase was more than sufficient. She doesn't help but what she does do is watch. Kate leans against the edge of the table and drinks her beer while her eyes glide after Yelena's every move as she restocks the wood piles at either side of every fireplace with zero effort. There's a lot of strength in that little body, so much strength. Kate feels a jolt run straight down her spine merely by surveying her.

Yelena's phone dings.

"Pizza is here."

Kate steals one last gander as Yelena disappears down the stairs. Without her around, Kate realizes how heated her body feels. She's much too far from the fire and she hasn't had enough to drink to be this hot.

She can't explain it...


11:50

"I read file but it is not the same. You tell me the Kate Bishop story in Kate Bishop's words."

"You already know all the spoilers."

"I like movies I know the endings of. Predictable. I can tell what is coming. Like well thought out attack."

"Of course you'd say that."

"What?!"

"Nothing. It's just a very...Yelena thing to say."

"I do not like how you say that. 'Yelena thing to say.'"

Kate flashes a glimpse over at the blonde woman and smiles then focuses back on the countdown on TV. Seven minutes to midnight.

The dreaded "Midnight Kiss" tradition popped into her head about thirty seconds ago and it’s started to make her toes tingle. The sensation has been rashly crawling up her body since. What happens at midnight? Are they going to do the awkward hug thing? The cheek kiss thing? What if Yelena leans in to kiss her? What if she kisses Yelena and gets rejected? What if? What if? What if?

"...ishop? Kate Bishop? If I am that boring that you tune my voice out you should just say so."

"No. No! Sorry. No. Not you. I was just...yeah. Not you. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"That your mother paid me a lot of money to kill you too and maybe I should have done it."

"Very funny."

Kate ogles at the clock.

 

11:55

 

Kate can't sit anymore. She grabs her beer and stands awkwardly stiff in front of the chair she was just perched on. She doesn't move, doesn't go anywhere, she simply...hovers in front of it.

"Was the chair not to your liking?"

"Chair's fine. Chair's great. Chair's not a problem."

Yelena takes a beat and chortles.

"You are nervous, Kate Bishop."

"I am not nervous. Why would I be nervous? I don't have a single thing to be nervous about."

"I was trained to read body language at twelve." Yelena allows the words to hang in the air. "You are nervous."

"You see this scar right here? Face first into a giant rock in Central Park because I still couldn't even ride my bike properly at twelve. Rub it in."

 

11:56

 

Yelena laughs quietly, grabs her vodka rocks, and stands next to the still perfectly immobile Kate. Yelena kills her drink and pours another. She wouldn't say she's drunk but she's not sober either.

"Do you want another American Piss Water bottle?"

Kate shakes her head, doing her darndest to pretend she doesn't find the thing endearing.

"Stop calling it that."

"Looks like piss, tastes like piss, and not a real beer. American Piss Water is what I will call it. Come to Russia one day. We will have real beer together. Do you want another then?"

"I will take another regular American beer, yes."

Yelena grabs another bottle and twists the cap off. Kate tries to downplay how hard she exhales when it happens. What the fuck is going on?! How and why is someone twisting a cap off a bottle doing these things to her?

"One American Piss Water for Kate Bishop."

Yelena passes the bottle to Kate swiftly who takes one very large gulp. 

 

11:57

 

Kate stands in silence looking out at the sea of people beneath them. She can feel Yelena's eyes surveying her profile.

"What does Kate Bishop think of when she stands in silence?"

"Lots of things."

"Obviously I asked because I want to know what those things are so, tell me."

Kate feels the pit of her stomach spark ablaze. There was something inherently sensual about the way Yelena didn't ask but instructed her instead. Would she ever admit that out loud? Only time would tell.

"I told you. Lots of things."

 

11:58

 

But that time wasn't now. Right now Kate was a bit drunk, quite anxious, and a lot bratty.

"Is one of those things if I will kiss you when midnight happens?" Kate clears her throat trying to hide the fact that she half choked on air. "Because if so, the answer is yes." Yelena pauses. "Unless you do not wish me to."

"NO! No! Do wish! Totally wish!" Kate realizes that was much too eager and reels it back. "Like...if you want...or whatever. Wasn't even thinking about it y'know. It's..."

Kate is cut off by Yelena's lips affixing with hers. Kate's hands fly to the side of Yelena's face, her cold beer pressing against the older woman's cheek. Yelena's hand snakes behind Kate's neck pulling her as close to her as physics will allow. Their tongues meet for a brief moment. Kate feels Yelena's teeth graze her bottom lip in a soft but possessive pull. But before Kate knows it, it's all over. It feels like a million things happened, but the kiss lasted seven seconds. If that.

 

11:59

 

Yelena disentangles them and takes a nonchalant sip of her vodka as if absolutely nothing major had just transpired. Kate turns to look at the clock on the TV. The minute countdown has started.

"It's not midnight."

"Sometimes you just have to...not talk."

"Ah. Yeah. Heard that before."

They stand ungracefully as the clock counts down.

"That was...nice." Kate tries to fill the dead air as the screams of the crowd below chanting down from thirty threaten to drown her out.

"You have soft lips." Yelena screams above the people. "And you smell good. Like peaches."

"Thank you! I know right? It's this like, exfoliating thing my mom got me. You're only supposed to use it three times a week but I said 'screw it' and I've been using it every day and it's been so..."

Yelena groans, rolls her eyes, and steps forward to close the distance between them. Her lips are on Kate's with eight seconds to spare.

This time they kiss in earnest. This time they pour everything - all - into it. It's not a "shut up" kiss. Well, it's not just a "shut up" kiss. It's both of them letting out a sigh of relief neither of them knew they'd been holding in for years. It's both of them finding home for the first time.

The ball drop comes and goes by the time they finally decide they need air.

"Is that like...a Russian thing? The tongue thing you did?"

Yelena shrugs, smug smile painted on her face.

"Maybe."

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"You like how I kiss. It is good. I welcome the feedback."

"Whatever."

Kate smiles and leans in to steal another kiss, seemingly not able to get enough of Yelena's lips. When she pulls away Yelena takes in her face and raises a single brow. It's clear she's quite proud of herself.

"I was right."

"Right about what?"

"You wanting me to kiss you at midnight."

Kate exhales dramatically.

"What? You're going to tell me they taught you how to read minds when you were fifteen?"

"No. But they did teach how to study targets. I paid extra close attention to your file."

Notes:

If you have any thoughts/ideas for things you’d like to see shoot me a message over on Tumblr.

 

FratBoyKate.tumblr.com

 

Or drop a comment here. Those are great too.

I already have a slew of written chapters worth about 12,000 words that I need to publish first and some other ideas for things I really want to write but besides that looking at any other suggestions at the moment.

The best part of my other story has always been how insanely high the engagement is with the readers so...let me know what you think! I love to hear the good and the bad :)