Chapter Text
“Hey,” You turn to Alice, who’s sitting next to you as you wait for her to finish with the Twitter Q&A. “Are you alright? You look uncomfortable.”
You couldn’t blame Alice for being perceptive. You’ve known her since you were practically born and she has witnessed you grow up. She was right though, you were uncomfortable. For a variety of reasons. You weren’t sure what you were doing, or even why, but you recently moved to South Korea—three days ago to be exact—and Alice reached out to you before you could reach out to her.
“I’m okay,” You lie because it’s easier than telling the truth. You can’t tell her that you’re nervous because you’re not prepared to explain why. “I swear.” She doesn’t look like she believes you and it was always scary how similar their expressions were, especially when they were annoyed.
“Okay,” Alice shrugs, deciding to let it go for now. You’re certain she’ll ask you about it later. “How’s settling in your apartment?”
There’s still a bunch of boxes that need to be unpacked, but at least the big furniture like your bed and couch were set up. The television’s sitting on the unopened stand box that still needs to be built. Some of your clothes are organized, but that’s because you needed business attire for work.
“It’s settling,” You answer, forcing a smile that Alice rolls her eyes. “My bed is set up, that’s all I care about. I’ll spend the weekend unpacking.”
“If you need help, just let me know,” Alice offers, and you are grateful. She’s been nothing but accommodating since you arrived. You’re ninety percent sure it’s mostly because your sister asked her to look out for you, but you’re one hundred percent sure she’d do that for you without your sister intervening. She’s always been like an unofficial sibling anyways.
“I will,” Alice nods. You know you won’t ask for help, which she knows too. You hate asking for help. Plus, you find unpacking and organizing therapeutic since work has been keeping you busy as soon as you landed.
You pull your phone out of your pocket to see a bunch of notifications from clients and developers. You’d love nothing more to throw the device into the Han River, but it’s what you signed up for. You could have stayed in Australia and live the life you’d been living, but you wanted something different, a change of pace.
Your father was starting to be more persistent about when you were going to join the company, and you could have put it off for longer, but you wanted a break from your current job, as fun as it was. You promised two years in a location of your choice. South Korea was an option, one you agreed on without much thought, except after you signed the contract, you realized you’d be closer to her.
Her.
Roseanne Park.
Park Chaeyoung.
Chaeng.
Rosie.
Rose.
Rosé as she’s more famously known for.
You know her as Rosie.
At times, you’d call her Chaeyoung to annoy her because that name would only be said when she was in trouble. There was a point when she tried making “Annie” work as a nickname, but it didn’t sound right.
She will always be Rosie to you though.
It’s not like you’re on bad terms.
You haven’t seen her since Blackpink went on tour and they performed in Melbourne two years ago. It was brief. You had to sneak into her hotel room after the show. She was tired, exhausted, since they were nearing the end of their tour. You didn’t keep her up too late since they had an early flight to Thailand the next day.
You have a lot of history together, before you even came into existence.
Your mothers are best friends. You were born seven months apart and you are the babies of the siblings. You have an older brother and sister while Rosie has Alice.
You grew up together. You were thick as thieves, blindly following the other into whatever situation without a care for the consequences, which there were a lot. You always had each other’s back, endlessly supporting through anything either of you did.
She knows you better than you know yourself and you know her better than she knows herself.
The thing is, when you know someone for that long, someone’s bound to fall for the other—one of life’s biggest clichés.
You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment. If you had to, though, you had an idea when you realized it.
You were walking back to her house from school. She wanted to stop at the 24-hour diner to eat fries and have a milkshake before Alice’s birthday dinner at an expensive Korean barbecue restaurant. You were saving your appetite, hardly eating anything the whole day, but you caved. You ended up sitting across from her in a booth as her face lit up when she saw the new seasonal milkshake flavors.
That wasn’t the moment, but it was the trigger of an avalanche you couldn’t stop.
Everything came crashing down when she gave you a pout, offering to feed you a spoonful of the lavender flavored milkshake. You relented, as she airplaned the spoon into your mouth. It wasn’t the best, but the look on her face when you forced a smile was enough to make it the best thing you ever had.
While she was happily finishing the milkshake and feeding you fries sporadically, it was different. You had done this so many times before, but something changed in you where what you felt for her was more than just friends.
You tried to ignore your feelings because you refused to jeopardize your friendship. You were hyperaware of her presence, finding everything you’ve seen her do a million times before suddenly attractive.
It took about a month after that day when she confessed she liked you the same way you liked her.
It was after basketball practice. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to wait for you, as she usually had choir rehearsals. She was sitting next to you on the bench while you changed from shoes into slides when she blurted out that she liked you.
She couldn’t explain it, but she had been feeling this way for some time and it was becoming too much. It stressed her out because she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t tell Alice because she didn’t want you to find out. She also didn’t want to tell you because she would’ve been crushed if you didn’t feel the same.
She was crying by the end of it and you hadn’t said anything yet. You were still reeling over the fact that she liked you too, so you did the one thing you had been wanting to do—you kissed her.
She gasped as soon as your lips touched. It wasn’t aggressive or hard—that would happen later on—but chaste and soft and sweet. You pulled back first, a small smile tugging at your lips before saying, “I like you too, like a lot.”
You’d never forget the smile on her face and the way she threw her arms around you, pulling you into her. You’d also never forget the wolf whistles and clapping from your teammates along with a finally! as if everyone had been waiting for it to happen.
It was easy being with her.
It was still the friendship you built together, but with a lot more affection. Your families apparently had bets on when it would happen, which Alice won and she even called who would give in.
You were each other’s firsts. First kiss. First heated make out. First person to be intimate with like that. First relationship. First love.
You believed she was the one, and at one point, you were sure she believed it too.
The first and the last.
But the universe had different plans.
It was almost eighteen months of being together before the beginning of the end started.
One day you’re watching her perform “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis at the school talent show, then the next day, she’s telling you about an audition for an entertainment company in South Korea.
She was adamant she was just doing it for fun, something her father suggested since she had always like music. You heard her sing a million times and you were certain on a scale from one to ten, that she wasn’t someone to look over. She could sing, like sing sing.
(You might have been biased, but you loved every moment she sang to you.)
You weren’t there for the audition because you had a basketball game, but she was sitting on the porch couch when your mother pulled into the driveway.
You knew.
You didn’t need her to tell you that she nailed it and that YG Entertainment offered her a spot as a trainee. You didn’t need her to use you as a sounding board, weighing the pros and cons.
You knew as soon as you opened the car door and she ran to give you a hug that she was moving to Korea.
Nothing could’ve prepared you for what that meant for your relationship.
She told you anyways.
It was exactly five days later that she told you her decision. She would be leaving for Korea within a month. She was excited and nervous and hopeful. She didn’t know what to expect, but she wanted to see if she could make it.
You knew she would.
You couldn’t do anything to change her mind. You wouldn’t. You could tell that this was what she wanted and you would gift her the sky.
It would’ve been selfish if you tried to convince her to stay, even if it broke you.
It nearly did when you finally talked about what her moving meant.
She broached the subject after you finished helping her pack most of her clothes in a box. She was laying on her bed as you were sitting on the floor.
“So…” She started and you immediately knew that this was the talk that you both had been avoiding for the past two weeks. Your sister kept pestering you about it because she could tell it was affecting you, which meant that if your sister could, then she definitely could. “I know we haven’t really talked about what this means for us and I feel bad that it’s been all about me, but I wanted to know what you were thinking and feeling.”
Heartbroken. Devastated. Gutted. Sad. All of the above and then some.
You chose your words carefully because if you said too much, she might not have gone. You wouldn’t have been able to forgive yourself if that happened.
“I’m sad,” You leaned your head on her bed, “But you need to do this. I don’t want you to give this up without trying.”
“What does that mean for us?”
“It means that we’re still going to be friends no matter what,” You took a deep breath before continuing, knowing that the next words out of your mouth were going to hurt the both of you. “Though, I think when you leave, we can’t be together anymore.”
She started crying when you said that, and you couldn’t say anything more. It was the most logical decision. The most painful, but it made the most sense.
You couldn’t hold her back from experiencing whatever was coming her way, and you wouldn’t be. You didn’t want to burden her with an obligation that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill. You also didn’t think you’d handle the distance.
It wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
It was better off that you revert to friends because there was a high chance that if you stayed together, it would’ve completely destroyed your relationship. Those were odds you weren’t willing to take because she still meant the world to you. You’d rather have her in your life as a friend than not at all.
You spent the last few days with her, hardly leaving her side. You even slept over most nights, which your parents didn’t question.
The night before her flight was the most bittersweet moment. You made sure she knew you loved her, doing all you knew to show her just how much. She did the same with equal fervor. By the end of it, you were both exhausted and pleasantly relaxed, but it quickly set in that that was it.
You didn’t need to ask her if she was crying because you felt the tears on your chest. You didn’t need to tell her that it was an honor to be loved by her because it would’ve made her cry harder. You didn’t need to do anything because you couldn’t while everything inside you broke.
“I love you, I’ll always love you. You’re my best friend, Rosie. It may be the end of us, but it’s the start of something great,” You were crying at this point, the words getting stuck in your throat, but you had to say this before she went through security while her family gave you some space. “You’re going to do great. I know it. The next time you step on Australian soil, it better be because of a sold out show. I’m proud of you, no matter what.”
You kissed her one last time before giving her the tightest hug you could muster because you didn’t know when the next time would be. Her body shook against yours as she buried her face into your neck.
“I love you,” She whispered before letting go, not because she wanted to, but because Alice had to gently pull her away so they wouldn’t miss the flight.
There was never any expectation that she had to keep in touch. As much as you both wanted to, the reality was neither of you knew how busy she would be. Plus, you had your own life that didn’t include her anymore.
You were able to talk on the phone once a week for a short while exchanging messages when you had the chance. She mentions a little bit about the training, but she didn’t delve into it too much. You knew it was hard, she didn’t have to tell you. You could hear how homesick she was, but you never told her to come home because her parents already did that. You kept reassuring her that that was where she was supposed to be and she could do it.
She told you about some of the other girls. Some were nice. Some were mean. There was one girl who was a month younger who told her to play something on the guitar when they met.
It worked until it didn’t.
The missed calls were more frequent. The unanswered messages weren’t acknowledged.
It hurt, but it was the reality of the situation.
You went on about your life, deciding to go to university because you wanted to prolong joining the family business. You discovered your knack for photography while there. You also studied abroad for a year, which you could’ve chosen Korea, but you chose Paris for a change in scenery. You even interned for well-known fashion photographers that worked with brands like Yves Saint Laurent, Celine, Dior, and Chanel.
You heard about how she was doing occasionally from Alice. You played it off that you already knew everything, but there was one instance when she was in the process of forming a group that gave it away.
She called you shortly after that because Alice was mad for not updating you. You didn’t mind because you had your own things going on, deciding if you wanted to live abroad again as an assistant to a photographer in New York or stay in Australia.
It was almost six months since your last phone call. She told you it was confirmed that she was going to be in a group with three other girls.
“We just work well together, none of us have an ego, and I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. It’s amazing though,” You heard the excitement in her voice and you knew that this was it.
This was the moment.
Everything she had been working on for the past four years culminated to this.
“What about you? What’s going on with you?” She asked after she gave a small bio on the other members. She spoke fondly of Lisa since they were the same age, usually spending most of their free time together while Jisoo and Jennie were the ones they looked up to.
You kept it simple, not wanting to get into too many details since you knew the call was going to end soon through no fault of her own.
You told her that you were thinking of moving to New York for a job or you were going to work for your family in Australia. She tried to prod more about New York, but you heard someone—Lisa—in the background telling her that they were going into the studio. She was apologetic, that she had to go, that she couldn’t talk more, that she missed you.
You missed her too. You understood that this was her life now, and the only thing you could do was watch it unfold.
You never told that you worked with photographers for YSL and Tiffany and Co while living in New York, and you weren’t sure if she ever found out.
Blackpink debuted and she was catapulted into fame. She became what was termed an idol. You didn’t know what that meant when it started, but it made you uncomfortable when you found out.
You wanted to protect her, but Alice reassured you that she was okay. Alice met the other three members when her family visited, seeing that the bond they have was something special.
You spoke with her from time to time, checking in to see how she was doing. It was usually short when you called her, but when it was the other way around, that was when it’d be a little longer.
It would relax her, she said, talking to you after an especially hard rehearsal or tiring performance. There were times you weren’t even talking, just on the line as you edited photos and she scrolled through social media.
The first time you saw her, though, wasn’t what you expected.
It was a year into their debut, almost six after she left, that she had a small break that allowed her to visit Australia. At least, when you were there. She visited a couple times before, but you were in Paris.
You didn’t know she was coming home. You were at your apartment, developing photos, when there was a knock on your door. You weren’t expecting anyone so you were more than surprised when you saw her standing in the hallway.
“Hi,” She said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Free tonight?”
For her, you always were.
For her, it always felt like home.
For her, you knew that time was limited.
For her, you had to make the most of it because you didn’t know when you’d see her next.
It was like she never left.
You ordered in because you were aware that if you went out, she might be swarmed by fans and you weren’t sure if you could control yourself not to square up.
It honestly felt like how it was when you were together, but you had to keep reminding yourself this was a façade. She would return to Korea in a few days and you will be off to Milan for fashion week.
Life was pulling you in completely different directions that you had to let go of the hope that maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance again.
You spent the night together. It couldn’t have been stopped. She was close to you the whole time, and your gut was telling you she knew what she was doing when she kept tracing her fingers up and down your arm.
You were powerless when it came to her.
You had your fair share of flings over the years, even a couple of relationships that lasted for almost a year before they fizzled out because you weren’t ready for something serious.
Nothing could compare being with her.
You picked up right where you left off.
You knew what to do and you did it well. The marks all over your back and love bites along your neck were proof enough. She made her claim, but you weren’t able to do the same.
She was everyone else’s, yet you only wanted to be hers.
Maybe in another universe you would have been, but not in this one.
There weren’t any hard feelings when she had to leave. It was actually easier because it was what it was—one night with your first love. It felt more like a goodbye than anything else, like the finality of that it was it, completely shutting the door and locking it.
Life continued.
Your friendship was stable and communication came in waves. You watched Blackpink grow and be bigger than anyone could’ve predicted. You were proud of her. Of them, even though you hadn’t met them. They were all beautiful, and the performance videos you watched confirmed everything you already knew—this was what they were meant to do.
Number one hits. Top of the charts. Multiple awards. Sold out concerts across the globe. Each member becoming sponsored by high-end luxury brands, or brand ambassadors as they were called.
They accomplished so much, and they still had more coming their way.
It was funny how the universe made itself known.
You weren’t aware of their comeback, but you moved to Korea right as it was happening, which led you to meet Alice at the YG Entertainment headquarters as the group did their promotions.
Alice invited you because she happened to be in the city before she went on another camping excursion somewhere in the countryside. She also caught wind from your sister that work had been kicking your ass, so she figured you could use some time with her.
It was a sweet gesture, thoughtful even.
You were excited to see her, but you were just a little on edge because you didn’t fully think it through on what the move meant this time around for your relationship.
You would be in the same place at the same time.
What that could mean terrified you the most, but you would cross that bridge when you get to it.
You’re replying to a message from Kyoko, your most recent girlfriend, about concert tickets for a band that was performing in Melbourne. It was a clean break, ending amicably, since the reason you got together was because she was trying to get over her ex. She always knew it would never work out because she could tell your heart was always somewhere else.
More like with someone else.
You’re not paying attention to your surroundings, so you don’t notice the commotion of people walking down the hallway. You feel Alice nudge your side with her elbow, though you don’t acknowledge it as you’re searching for the number to give to Kyoko for the tickets.
Alice nudges you again, but this time with more force that you almost drop your phone. You send a glare her way, getting slightly irritated. She rolls her eyes, tipping her head in your direction, which forces you to look that way.
You do almost drop your phone because there she is, walking next to Jisoo as someone leads them in your direction.
The nerves you had coming here disappear because the sight of her calms you, knowing that it’ll be alright. Alice was right, time with her can make you forget about all the stress from moving and work.
She doesn’t see you yet since Jisoo’s saying something that makes her laugh in the process.
When she stops laughing, she looks up and her eyes land on you. She stops in her tracks, that Lisa walks right into her, letting out a groan and huff.
“Oi, Rosé, why’d you stop walking?” Lisa huffs, sidestepping her, and continues moving without waiting for the response, passing by you and giving Alice a quick hi-five.
Your body moves before you think about it, and you’re standing up, sensing Alice doing the same. Her gaze stays on you as Jisoo pulls her in your direction.
They stop in front of you, Jisoo greeting Alice with a hug and giving you a polite smile.
“Go ahead unnie, I’m going to talk to Ally really quick,” Rosie says in Korean, but you’re still able to understand. Jisoo’s eyebrows furrow, as if she doesn’t believe her, but shrugs, walking away to catch up with Lisa.
Rosie turns to you, hesitating, second-guessing if she’s going to hug you or what. Her hand reaches in between you and Alice, gently grabbing onto your forearm and giving a small squeeze.
It’s discreet. Anyone passing by would think she was being friendly, but it wasn’t just that. The smile she’s giving you doesn’t meet her eyes, and she looks hurt, but she slips into an indiscernible expression before you figure it out what she’s thinking.
“Meet me at my apartment later please,” Rosie says lowly, glaring at Alice. “Ally will give you the address.”
You nod because you have to talk about why you’re suddenly in Korea without any heads up. You’re about to say something when Jennie walks by.
“Come on Rosie,” Jennie says without acknowledging you or Alice. “We’re going to be late to the performance if we don’t leave now.” Rosie lets go of your hand, which Jennie notices, raising an eyebrow. “Who are you?” She asks politely, smiling when she sees Alice.
You introduce yourself in Korean, which seems to impress Jennie, even though it’s a little rusty. You notice the wheels turning in her head, as if she’s heard about you before. You see it click, the light bulb going off, and she gives you a smirk.
“Oh so you’re—”
“Let’s go Jennie,” Rosie says flatly, pulling her away before she could finish the sentence.
You wonder what Rosie’s said about you to the other members. Based on Jennie’s reaction, it must’ve been a lot. You tuck that thought away for the time being.
“See you later,” Rosie hurries them down the hall while Jennie gives you a wave and a wink.
You wave at their backs. When they’re about to turn the corner, Rosie gives you a smile, and this time, it reaches her eyes. She looks happier that it fills your chest with something you don’t quite want to acknowledge yet.
You know there’s still a lot talk about, but you’re here.
She’s here.
She knows you’re here.
This is where you’re supposed to be, and whatever happens, happens.