Archive of Our Own

Megumi is tired of having to babysit the new sorcerers, but Gojo continues to put him up to it. He knows in the long run, it’s the best decision, the newbies need someone who will take training seriously. Gojo certainly isn’t right for the job and Itadori is…Itadori, so really he’s the only logical choice. He’s thankful for the handful of new sorcerers cropping up in the area recently but still, it’s a pain in the ass training them, especially if they’re over confident.

There are three new sorcerers, two of them not much to look at, hardly memorable but the third brings Megumi to a halt as he strolls into the room with Gojo on his trail.

“Newbies, say hello to your new mentor. Megumi Fushiguro,” Gojo slaps a hand on his back, grinning big as the three new members stand nervously in front of them.

Megumi sees you and something snaps inside of him. Like rope pulled taut then immediately cut, it slices his feelings in half and suddenly he feels as if he’s floating and your gaze is the only thing keeping him from floating into space. He thinks you feel it too, or at least you feel something because you’re staring at him dumbfounded before you lick your lips and hold out a hand politely to introduce yourself.

He already knows your name, not just because of the dossier. It becomes clear to him that this is you the second he hears you say it.

“Nice to meet you. Thank you for helping us train today,” you respond professionally.

Megumi swallows loudly, “You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job. Just make sure you keep up.”

He’s caught off guard when you nod, accepting his strict orders and staring—why are you staring so intently at him like that?—into his moss green eyes. For a long while he’s dazed, trapped in the beams of your gaze, mind racing, heart not far behind in pace before Itadori is shaking your hand and introducing himself.

Megumi watches you continue to scope him out from the corner of your eye as you speak to the others. When you smile and laugh, it’s almost as if you fit right in with them.

What is it about you that’s so alluring? What is it that makes Megumi’s chest ache, close up like a clam protecting a precious pearl? You're just some girl, that much is clear. But fate—if Megumi even believes in fate—whispers in the cool coming winter wind into Megumi's ear. Perhaps you’re something more.

As it turns out, you’re an excellent sorcerer, completely blowing your colleagues out of the water during training. Your instincts and combat ability are a force to be reckoned with and your astute intuition has saved a number of lives both civilian and sorcerer alike. Megumi’s impressed, though he never shows it. In fact, he spends the least amount of time around you he can.

Many times he’s skated out of the room when you enter, smiling that bright beautiful smile to everyone or he’s eased his way out of a conversation that includes you. The more he does it though, the more he finds himself drawn to watching you.

Megumi surmises that you are good. Someone worth protecting and keeping alive. He remembers the way you threw yourself in front of an attack to save Kugaski. How the injury in your side bled profusely but still you held your ground to protect your comrade.

Your smile after the curse had been exorcised, pained but still bright and optimistic. If it were on anyone else’s face he’d think them a fool. But on your face it looked right, like there was no other expression that could find its way on your face except joy.

He’d watched you from afar then, slowly falling for every decision you made, every laugh you shared with a friend, every quick glance from the corner of your eye a yearning pull of attraction between the two of you. Distance is key. No matter how much he wants to be around you or how much he wants to speak to you, or feel you pressed into his side he refrains, because he is a danger to you.

On Christmas Eve, an opportunity presents itself. There’s a holiday party all the sorcerers attend. It’s swanky at a hotel on the top floor, full of drinks and sharply dressed sorcerers flirting and dancing to soft piano music. Megumi stays on the outskirts of the party, sticking close to the wallflowers and blending in with the crowd. He hopes Itadori doesn’t spot him for fear of being hounded by the extroverted energy his friend carries. To his dismay, he’s not able to stay hidden from his friend.

“Hey, how come you’re not sitting and eating with us, Fushiguro?” Yuuji says running to catch up with him as he slips out of the back door to the rooftop access of the hotel.

Megumi huffs in annoyance, he thought no one spotted him as he left, though he did catch your eye before quickly looking away. “I just don’t like all the same foods all of you like,” he shrugs, twisting out of Yuuji’s grasp.

“Really? Cuz Kugasaki says you’re more emo than usual. She thinks you’ve got a crush on the new girl or something,” Yuuji explains and Megumi’s back goes perfectly stiff.

“We’re adults. And I don't get crushes, that’s ridiculous,” Megumi mutters in annoyance. He takes a sip of the drink he’s nursing before Yuuji gives up, complains about the cold and goes back inside.

He takes a deep breath in and out, watching the wisps that fall from his lips. There’s always a somber freedom winter brings when it snows and the world around him is quiet. Megumi sits on a snow covered bench, watching the moon above him.

To ignore the way you make him feel is foolish but he doesn't know if he can keep avoiding you like this. There’s only so many times he can dream of you and pretend it’s him you’re talking to instead of Inumaki or Panda.

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were still out here,” you say as the heat from the building pours out onto the roof and swirls around him.

You look fantastic tonight, in a fancy long red dress that sparkles and looks brilliant against the crisp white snowy background. Megumi has to look away quickly to avoid staring and he clears his throat and waves a hand unbothered as you step out and join him on the roof.

He can smell your perfume, can hear you breathing evenly as you stand near him looking up at the sky. You clear your throat as well, and attempt to make small talk.

“Just needed a bit of fresh air. It’s kinda hot in there, yeah?” you ask him, fanning yourself.

Megumi’s eyes flick over to you as he nods slightly and turns back to look at the sky. He notices you’re not wearing a jacket and though you said it was hot at the party, you’re wearing thin straps and your shoulders are slightly shivering.

You sigh, “Have I done something to offend you, Fushiguro?” you ask in a steady tone as you turn to face him.

He turns toward you now and stands as you move a bit closer. “What? No. Why would you ask that?”

“Well for one you won’t look at me while we’re talking and you keep scooting away from me like I’m going to infect you with some sort of virus.”

Megumi doesn’t mention how you’ve already infected him. How you’re constantly on his mind, how he thinks about you nonstop and how he wishes he could be around you.

“I’m just not a people person,” he replies, turning to look out at the untouched snow atop the buildings.

“Yeah I figured as much,” you say, chuckling to yourself.

It’s a magical sound, one that warms his ears and makes him swallow hard. It’s silent between you two. The wind howling slightly as it dances through the loose limbs of your hair. It’s started to snow, fat snowflakes are twinkling down from the sky and Megumi wants to take a peak over at you to see what you’re thinking.

He risks it, peeping out of the corner of his eye and he sees your eyes are closed and your head tilted up toward the sky.He watches you for a bit, wondering what it is you’re doing before he’s lost in the way your shoulders move up and down gently. Something about how calm you are stills this moment and makes him want to reach out for you. Instead he zeroes in on your quivering shoulders again.

“Here,” he replies, shrugging out of his jacket and handing it to you. He steps closer to you and he’s surprised when you step back away from him. He furrows his brows in confusion. “Or not if you don’t want it,” he says a tad offended.

“No it’s not that,” you say quickly. “I just thought…you wouldn’t want to be that close to me,” you stammer as you push a strand of hair out of your face.

Megumi swallows loudly. You’re observant and he curses himself for it because now he can see you’ve thought this entire time that he truly didn’t like you.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. You take the jacket from him, eyes wide and dazzling before thanking him and wrapping it around your shoulders. He doesn’t miss the way you nuzzle your nose into it and sniff slightly to take in his scent but he stores that away in his mind.

‘Why are you so afraid of me?” you ask suddenly and again he’s caught off guard. Afraid? He’s not afraid of you. Is he? No, absolutely not.

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m being wary,” he explains, folding his hands together.

“That’s the same thing,” you reply giggling. Again Megumi is drawn to the noise and he finds himself moving closer to you.

“No it’s not,”he counters.

You blow out a breath, already seemingly comfortable with him and he’s grateful for it. “Fine, wary of what? Of me?”

“No.”

“Ok, wary of what?”

How does he tell you this? How does he explain it so you get it? How does he tell you this is for your own good?

“Of me,” he grunts.

“Of yourself?” You say it slowly, like it doesn’t make sense and in retrospect it probably doesn’t when it’s from your point of view.

Megumi blows out a puff of exasperated air. He looks deep into your eyes now, not shying away or even blinking as he explains. “Everyone I care for dies. It’s like… like I'm cursed. No matter what happens, if I lo-, if I care about it,it dies.””

There’s a long pause while you think about his words. Cars bustle back and forth on the road below, people chatter as they traipse upon the sidewalks. Finally you respond and it’s not what he expected to hear from you.

“Everything dies someday. You caring about it doesn’t change that. Whether you care about me or not, I will still die. It seems silly to remove yourself from things you clearly care a lot about just because you think they’ll die. If that’s the case, why do anything that makes you happy?” You explain looking up at the sky again.

Megumi frowns. He doesn’t think you get it. He’s doing this for you. To keep you safe.

“That’s not what I–”

“I think I really like you, Megumi. I want to experience life with you however long that may be. I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way but I'm not afraid of dying if it means I get to be with you.” You’re staring just as intently into his eyes now as well and he can tell you mean what you’re saying.

Megumi is quiet.That’s the first time you’ve said his first name. It sounds gorgeous on your tongue. He doesn’t move or look in your direction and you don’t push him. You turn back to gaze at the moon, keeping watch and breathing evenly. His throat is dry, he doesn’t know what to say. He wants you, every muscle in his body aches for you but the fear swallows him whole.

“I don’t–” he stammers but your soothing voice cuts him off.

“You don’t have to say anything, or agree or make any decisions. I understand. I just… figured you should know how I felt,” you say shrugging. You pull his jacket from your shoulders and hand it back to him before turning back toward the door to the party. “‘Thanks for the jacket and the nice chat,” you say smiling at him.

Megumi hasn’t made up his mind, but maybe, just maybe, this isn’t as bad as he thought.

Megumi is frozen, ice courses through his veins as he stares into the eyes of a special grade curse. Not only is he frozen but time around him seems frozen. He can’t hear anything, can’t see what’s happening, all he knows is that this is what being on the brink of death feels like. This is the peak of danger, this is where he dies. He momentarily thinks Better it be me than her.

He remembers how he got here, a mission he was assigned to with you. The curse wasn’t supposed to be anything stronger than a Grade 3 curse. It seemed it was only bait and a special grade had arrived. Megumi wasn’t the only one who found himself frozen, you stood fixed to your spot as the special grade sent a deadly amount of cursed energy toward you. It would rip you to shreds and Megumi couldn’t have that.

Megumi’s only aware of a few things. He’s aware that he pushed you out of the way of the attack so that he could take the full blow of it. He’s aware he’s going to die here .He’s aware of the collapsed bodies around him, some pulled apart in grotesque lumps of flesh at his feet. Soon he’ll join them, be ripped to shreds and have pieces of his body scattered across the floor of this abandoned building.

He wonders what you’ll think, how you’ll react to seeing him as a mangled corpse left for dead but the scene he imagines is too painful for him to continue. Instead he focuses on your smile. That smile you flashed at Itadori when you tacked on “that's what she said” at the end of his innocent but naughty phrase. He draws back on the way you crinkled your nose when you tasted a particularly spicy meatball Inumaki served for lunch. The way you lick your lips before you blow on your tea and take a sip. The way a faint floral scent always lingers in the room after you’ve left.

Megumi momentarily thinks it’s strange that instead of flashes of his own life before death all he sees is you. He wishes he had the chance to tell you, though it must be too late now. There’s a bright shining flash of white light and then there’s darkness as time unfreezes and he takes his last breath.

When he wakes, limbs still intact and in an infirmary bed Megumi is confused but grateful. Gojo informs him he arrived just in time to save both you and him from the special grade but the explanation doesn’t matter. All that is on Megumi’s mind is you. He sits up in the bed, quickly pulling the blankets off and fumbling with his shoes.

“Woah Megumi, you should rest. The shock and adrenaline probably hasn’t worn off yet,”Gojo warns, yet he makes no attempt to physically stop him as Megumi slides the door open.

“I’m fine. I have to go,” he grumbles before shutting the door.

The trek to your apartment feels too long, feels like forever but with every step closer to you, Megumi’s heart is racing. He has to see you. He can’t do anything else in life until he sees you. Until he looks into your eyes and tells you. The squish and crunch of his shoes in the snow is loud in his ears, his head aches, but he moves quickly, limbs falling into a light jog to get to you.

You.

You’re all he wants.

You.

He needs to tell you.

“Megumi?”

You’re in the doorway, looking at him with a worried expression as he pants and snow drips from his hair now plastered to his head. He’s breathing heavily, eyes affixed on yours as you gaze at him in worry. He’s here. He made it to you and now he can tell you. It’s on the tip of his tongue, clawing up his throat, so why can’t he just tell you?

“What are you doing here? You should be getting some rest,” you say reaching out to him before rethinking and pulling back.

In a second before he can rethink anything, he pulls you into his arms, wrapping them around you tightly. Though his clothes are cold and damp he feels warm the minute you make contact with him. For a minute you stand there in shock with your arms hanging at your sides before you slowly raise them and wrap them around his back. You nuzzle your face into his chest and he buries his face into your hair. He pulls back only slightly to hook a finger under your chin and press his soft pink lips to yours.

Nothing feels safer than being in your arms, nothing feels sweeter than the taste of your lips on his. He sighs into the kiss, relief flooding every inch of his body drowning his muscles in ecstasy as he presses his body closer to yours. His heart beats too fast but he ignores it, throwing himself into this one action, to inform you.

Feel it. Please feel how much I love you with this kiss. Don’t make me say it.

“Megumi…” you whisper against his lips and it’s a confession, a surrender to your feelings and he knows now you feel his love.

He’s always liked the way you say his name, but now he wants to pull it from you again and again. He traces down your body with his long finger, skimming over the only exposed skin: your neck, your clavicles, the small sliver of tummy shown when you lift your arms to wrap them around his neck.

Tasting you is bliss, your tongue playfully skates over his, a tease like always, but still he seeks you out. He pushes his lips against yours, a groan falling from him as you whimper and tangle your fingers into his spiky hair.

The truth was that Megumi was more afraid he’d never get to do this. As he stared down death, as his last moments flashed before his eyes when the special grade opened a domain to trap him and tear him apart, he thought of you and what your chapstick would taste like when he flicked his tongue over your bottom lip.

Your chapstick tastes like mangoes and vanilla. Your lips are soft and comforting, like a towel after a hot shower. You smell like a home teeming with stability and love and your embrace is an antidote to any nightmare he had before holding you. You enrapture him with your presence and as he continues moving his lips against yours, licking into your open mouth, nibbling your bottom lip and groaning, he realizes he needs more.

More of you means pulling your body flush to his so he can tell your breast rise and fall as he wraps a hand around the back of your head. He pulls your head to the side to expose more of your neck then begins the journey of kisses and bites down to the soft skin there while you sigh deeply. Again you mutter his name, though now it’s dripping with desire.

A fire is lit inside of Megumi and suddenly he needs to feel you.

“Want… you..” he murmurs against your lips.

Pulling him into your apartment, you guide him to your bed and sit and stare up at him. You’re level with his thighs, yet your eyes only settle on the bulge against his thigh. In the moonlight, he thinks he sees your hair shimmer and your eyes glow. He watches the way the gloss of your lips reflects white light and makes them look like a dream. He bends down to place a soft kiss against your lips again, eyelashes fluttering closed to focus on your taste again.

“Megumi, lemme help,” you whisper in the darkness, tugging on the belt of his pants and the thought of you seeing him makes fresh blood pump to his stiffening cock. A shiver slithers down his spine as you pull his pants and black compression shorts down. He pops free and as you pull the black shirt he wears up to get a better look at him, he thinks your expression alone will be his undoing.

You stare at him, amazed like you’ve never seen anything like him before and if Megumi didn’t know you so deeply he’d think this was a bad thing. But your eyes carry a hungry glint, one that loudly proclaims how much you want him. You lick your lips and finally reach out to wrap a dainty hand around the base of his cock.

Megumi hisses, canting his hips forward almost instantly at the feel of your warm touch. You tighten your grip around him, bringing a finger up to play with the precum oozing from the slit. Megumi groans when you pop your finger into your mouth and moan. When you cup his balls, he wants to scream out your name but self control has always been his forte.

Instead he sucks in a breath and throws his head back as you stroke up and down his shaft and fondle his balls. He wonders how something so simple can feel so good and he decides very quickly that it’s only because it’s you.

More. Megumi wants more. He reaches to cup your face in one hand, your chin sits in the palm of his hand and he gazes at you, a finger idly playing with your plump bottom lip. You take it into your mouth and suck, tongue swirling around the digit before he’s practically begging you to wrap your lips around his cock.

“F…fuck… p…please…” he grunts and without another word you comply.

You bring him into your warm mouth, dropping your jaw and flattening your tongue. Megumi throws his head back, the warmth of your lips curling around him, flowing through his limbs as you take your sweet time taking every inch of him down your throat. He brings his head forward to stare down into your eyes, to watch your head bob back and forth, to watch the tears roll down your cheeks as you gag around him.

Megumi brushes the tears from your cheek, licking his thumb and tasting the salty happiness pouring from you. You continue praising his cock, licking the tip, kissing up his shaft as your spit and his precum mix together on your lips. Megumi wants you to continue but he thinks it would be a curse on both of you to cum down your throat instead of spilling into your tight cunt.

So he cradles your face, long lithe fingers curling around your jaw as he pulls you off of his cock with a pop. Your cheeks glisten with spit and tears as he bends down to press a kiss to them before connecting his lips to yours again. He gently pushes you back on the bed, pulling your shirt over your head and biting at your neck. You’re soft and warm and plush, you’re everything he’s ever imagined and more.

He rolls your nipples between his fingers and you mewl and arch your body into his touch, wordlessly begging him for more. He loves the way your body responds to him, as if it knows the two of you belong together and when he’s finally undressed you and you’re laid bare before him, Megumi thinks this is the best moment of his existence.

Your legs pull apart, slick painting your inner thighs. He rubs the tip of his pink cock head through your hair dusted folds and you gasp and whine his name. It’s then that Megumi knows he needs to hear more from you. He wants to hear you whine for him, feel your nails dig into his skin as he sinks into you. He holds your stare, you’re beautiful under the moonlight.

“Megumi…” you whisper again and he kisses you before he leans down and says with confidence.

“I love you.”

He pushes into you and the sound that comes from you is music to his ears. A breathy mumbled moan that tumbles into sounding like you’re calling out for him. Megumi has dreamed about your warmth for so long that he can hardly believe how amazing you feel squeezing his cock. He moves his hips to meet yours delving deeper inside of your cunt as you claw at his back and arch your back to feel more of him.

When he’s fully sheathed inside of you, you both are panting and he can’t help but think how perfect the two of you fit together. Megumi grinds his teeth focusing on not cumming immediately as you flutter and adjust to his length. He cups your chin sweetly, “You ok?” he asks in a gruff voice.

“Mmm hmm,” you reply, biting your lip.

“Oh fuck, gonna move or I… won’t be able to hold back any more…” he groans.

He slowly pulls out of you, focusing on the way his cock drags against your velvety walls then plunges back into you so hard his balls slap against your thighs. Once started, Megumi can’t be stopped. He’s hungry for you, ravaging you tenderly as his fingers curl into the sheets below you. Happiness and joy may seem like expressions that belong on your face always but this, the look of pure pleasure he’s giving you.

Fucking you doesn’t last long, not with pussy as good as yours. You pull him close to your body as he pants and repeats your name over and over. He squeezes his eyes shut as you continue to squeeze him, climbing a mountain of pleasure he wants to meet you at the top of.

“Gonna… I’m gonna…” he grunts and you respond with a breathy “yes” before he thrusts as deep as he can and arches his back as he spills into you. Through his release, he feels you cum, milking him dry as you both cling to each other for dear life.

He kisses you again, lips smacking in the darkness as he brushes your hair from your forehead to look at you again and sear this moment into his memory forever.

Megumi’s no longer afraid. He’s warm and in love and if this is what life will feel like with you, he thinks he can give this a shot. A love like yours is too great not to experience.

There’s blood on his hands. Hot, thick, and red oozing into the folds of his palms. Tears blur his vision and he angrily swipes them away. No. He wants to see you. He wants to see his mistake.

There’s untarnished snow around the two of you, white and cold and crisp. A red puddle lies beneath you, a mix of melted snow you warmed with your body heat. The puddle dribbles down the sloped concrete feeding into the white snow like a brilliant red marker on clean white paper.

The hole in your stomach, the blood trickling down the side of your plush lips. He knew it. He fucking knew this would happen. He tried to keep his distance, he tried to keep you safe. But you insisted.

You should’ve listened. You should’ve stayed away. Your voice gurgles below him and he applies more pressure to the injury, holding your insides together with his large rough hands. Hands that he not very long ago used to swipe your hair from your face and caress your cheek while he kissed you.

You cough up blood again, your eyebrows pulling together in pain, wait, no more like frustration? You’re trying to speak.

“Don’t speak. Someone should be here shortly to help,” he says swiftly scanning the area. There’s nothing but debris, ash, debris, smoke and your blood quickly oozing onto the concrete.

Megumi feels a slight tug on the ends of his jacket. He looks at you again, though he can’t bear to stare into your tear filled eyes for too long. Again you try to speak and this time he can make out what you’re saying.

“Not...your...fault…”

Of course you’d want your last words to be a reminder of his failure. You say that, but you both know he’s the reason you’re here now, dying in his arms.

“Don’t say that. Shut up. You need to rest. Some...someone will be here soon to help you. Save your strength,” he hisses through his teeth. He won’t let a tear fall for fear of what it’ll mean. You're not going to die. He won’t let you die.

“Megumi…”

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good people become cursed? It’s a question Megumi has asked his entire life and he’s never got an answer. Megumi’s never been religious but sometimes when he’s sitting on the edge of ecstasy and despair he ponders the complexities of faith and deities.

Why does god let bad things happen to good people? Does he enjoy tearing the wings off creatures weaker than him? Has he lost faith in people? Is it a punishment? It can’t be, not for Megumi who’s spent most of his life trying to save the good ones.

Megumi doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he’ll ever find the answer. What he does know is you are good. What you made him feel was otherworldly. Megumi loves you, he always has and he hates to admit it but he doesn’t want to lose you. He’d give everything, give up on all the people in the world to have you be ok and safe.

With that last thought he breaks.

A tear dripping from above you falls down the side of your cheek. Another slips from the tip of Megumi’s nose, a pain too great to describe fissuring in the middle of his chest. He has to stop crying.

He can’t see you through the tears. He wants to see your face remember you when you’re gone. Your hand, wet and sticky lifts and he places it against his cheek. You smile like a woman approaching her groom, despite your guts hanging outside your body.

“Don’t cry Megumi,” you croak and it only makes the tears grow hotter.

“Why? Why does this keep happening?” he sobs, squeezing his eyes shut.

He remembers the talk the two of you had on the rooftop of the hotel building at the holiday party. You were so sure, so confident he was what you wanted. It was snowing then too. Not nearly as much as now and Megumi remembers the way the snowflakes got caught in your hair.

Megumi feels cold. The snow underneath him melts and soaks into his pants. Cold and damp, his clothes cling to him as life trickles from you with every straining breath you take. In the snow you lie, color draining from your face, yet still you smile up at him.

“I’m so happy,” you breathe and he almost can’t believe it. He peers at you, dumbfounded by the unmistakable joy on your face.

“How can you be happy right now? You’re dying,” he asks, voice thick and tragic.

Your hand drops to intertwine with his and he gasps when you bring his knuckle to your lips and kiss it gently. Your hand is slippery but sticky, your kiss like fire but cold as ice, your eyes, though quickly losing their light shining brighter than the full moon on the night you confessed your feelings.

“I got to love you. And now I get to die loving you and having you here with me. Not many people can say that,” you say through labored breaths. You’re not looking at him, rather through him as you smile so big the skin next to your eyes crinkle lightly.

Joy is the last thing Megumi sees on your face before you slip away from him forever and he’s left alone and broken again. A love as pure as yours was never meant to last, he thinks. And although there’s a smile on your lifeless lips and retained peace in your expression, Megumi knows no such thing.

He holds you close, no longer able to hold back the tears that cascade down his face. It’s cold, snow begins to fall and gathers in bunches in your hair as he holds your limp body. The drip drip drip of blood from the tips of his finger paints the brilliant white in ribbons of red. He cries as you grow colder in his arms and the fire, the warmth you ignited inside him, blows out forever.