Chapter Text
Juniberry flowers weren't difficult to grow. They didn't need as much water as the colorful flowers on Earth. On Althea, their natural habitat was a warmer and drier climate. Just like succulents, they needed heat, they had to be fertilized only in summer with preparations with a significant admixture of nitrogen. They grew best on window sills, where they could bask in the sun's rays, but at the same time, they were protected from the deadly temperature by the glass.
It took Lance almost two years to come to all these conclusions and perfect the way he handled flowers. Some of them grew in pots on the McClains’ farm, the other part adorned the backyard garden. Lance's younger siblings and cousins took the matter of watering plants and pulling out weeds very seriously. It was enough to remind them from time to time about the needs of the plants and the youngsters took care of almost everything for him.
The days on the farm near Varadero were calm, though filled with laughter and screams of the children.
How good it is to be home again , Lance thought sarcastically every time his family began to annoy him.
In fact, he missed his home, family, and Earth inexpressibly while he was in space. Speaking Spanish and the curses from Veronica's mouth, the smell of manure in the morning. The atmosphere of Varadero and Cuban cuisine.
He was just replanting the blooming juniberry flower that was supposed to be a gift for Shiro and Curtis when Veronica entered the shed with a tablet in her hand.
"We have to leave in four hours," she said without looking up from the screen. ”Are you packed?”
Lance patted the soil gently around the flower in the new pot and reached for the watering can.
“Yes, I just need to secure these flowers so that they do not get damaged during the journey.”
Veronica finally noticed the three pots with dewy flowers standing in the cleanest place of the shed. Water droplets still glistened on the leaves.
“What do you need these stalks for?”
Lance sighed a long and irritated sigh, Veronica had never been able to appreciate the beauty of nature as he and their mother had.
"It's a gift for the rest," he explained.
He watered the last flower and removed the garden gloves from his hand. He tossed them onto a rickety chair nearby and straightened. The cross hurt a little after several minutes of squatting and work. He could feel Veronica's eyes on him all the time.
“You must miss them very much if you are going to give them just this,” she said with a nasty smile.
"Do not make me angry," Lance growled.
“Oh, come on. Your obsession with these flowers is adorable.”
He hated to banter with her, but after so long he was able to get out of the conversation without risking his sadness returning.
“Is it strange that I want to surround myself with beautiful things since we have too few mirrors in the house?” He flashed his suit of white teeth at her.
“What about mirrors... You narcissist!”
The indignation in her voice reminded him of the time he teased Keith. He missed his voice and hoped to see him again today. He did not ask Shiro who he had invited to stay at his new house for a few days, but Lance was sure Keith was obligatory on the guest list. They were like brothers with Shiro to each other. Lance had once thought of Keith as more than a friend, but they hadn't seen each other very often since then. He still remembered their conversation while watching the sunset and what words had been spoken then...
Warmth poured over Lance's heart, and then it was chilled by the painful chill of memories.
Lance passed his sister and walked across the wide yard toward the house. Veronica followed him.
"Hope Shiro and Curtis are alright. You don't even know how much we miss them in the Garrison,” she chattered. “I miss having coffee together. It's not the same without them!”
“I never would have thought that your icy heart could miss someone!” He laughed, which got him hit on the head. "You have Griffin and the rest of the youngsters.” They used to call this way the MFE fighter pilots, even though Lance was the same age. Yet everyone treated him like he was a little older. He felt young and old at the same time as if everything that he had experienced had sucked out of him some of the joy he had displayed before. “And old Iverson. Chat with him about handsome men and hot chicks.”
Well, he tried his best to be that happy old Lance, but sometimes he just didn't get it right. He liked being the happy guy who made everyone laugh, even when it was hard.
Veronica grunted in reply. He loved to upset her.
"How're things going with Acxa, hmm?" He raised his eyebrows eloquently as he saw the blush creep across his sister's cheeks. He couldn't help but smile broadly. “How's winning women's hearts going? Want some advice from the master?”
Veronica hit him on the shoulder.
“Yeah, because a teenybopper like you would hit on a chick.”
Lance opened his mouth to protest, then closed it as Allura's name echoed in his mind. Veronica must have seen it in his eyes because she instantly stopped teasing him.
"Acxa's fine, she took command of The Blade after Keith left."
For a brief moment, Allura's and Keith's names were the only things that sounded in Lance's mind. When they reached the porch stairs, he turned to Veronica and said:
“Galrans are terrible when it comes to dating. Believe me, I've met a few. They don't understand the subtle signals and don't know what romanticism is.”
"So what are you suggesting, woman's heartbreaker?" Veronica crossed her arms and looked at him defiantly. But he saw the relief in her attitude. Sometimes he hated the way she cared for him so much.
He smiled widely.
"Take her to the shooting range as part of the date and write on your forehead I hope we'll end up in bed after all cuz you're a hot chick . Maybe then she’ll get it.”
Veronica snorted at him.
"Now, since you despise my valuable advice," he smiled at her, "you will help me choose which swimming trunks are the most stylish." Seeing her expression, he added: "What? I need to look divine so that Shiro will always remember the day I set foot on his island!”
Saturday's chats with Pidge were always the same. Keith heated in a microwave some supermarket quick food and pulled juice out of the refrigerator while promising himself that he would start cooking from the next day. However, he never managed to stick to the decision for more than a few days, he simply did not have the strength to waste time laboring over pots.
He then placed a tray of steaming mush of fish, potatoes, and gummy vegetables on the desk and received a video call from the Garrison. Pidge always started her conversation with a stream of thoughts, spewing out random facts about fantasy games and descriptions of events that had happened over the past week - what her family argued about this time, how much she hated her mother's overprotection, with what’s new Matt had come up and what stupid Rizavi did.
It took a few minutes for Keith to eat his dinner and give all the vegetables to Kosmo. Before he could drift away, Pidge asked:
“And how are you?”
This time he also answered the same as usual.
“Okay.” Not entirely a lie, not entirely true. Recently, most of his answers have been full of unsaid facts.
“You're talkative,” Pidge mocked him.
She was bending over the worktable, fumbling with a screwdriver at suspicious-looking metal parts.
“Do I want to know what you are actually building?” He asked.
He was never good at having a conversation, but with Pidge it wasn't difficult, just let her talk on a topic she was interested in and sometimes answer a question. If only all human relationships were so simple.
“Nope. You just get bored listening to my chatter. In this one you are similar to Lance, you have never developed a more than decent interest in technology and engineering.”
Keith's mind snapped to the sound of Lance's name, and as always, he felt mixed emotions. He hoped Pidge had been too busy creating the next machinery humanity needed and didn't see his reaction. He had the impression that Kosmo was looking at him from the couch with pity. This is how he would look at himself if he were a space wolf slavering the couch.
“How's Griffin doing?” quickly changed the subject.
“Are you asking for him because you are really interested or just still sorry that you beat him up?”
“Will you always bring it up?” He muttered indignantly. “I was a kid. Answer the question.”
“He’s quite fine, the MFE fighters aren't Voltron, but they manage. Him and all the rest. When they’re doing what they should and not disturbing my peace of mind.”
Then she began to talk about the new initiatives Garrison was about to introduce, about her and Matt's ideas, how the canteen renovation took too long time, and how an important cable was lost and then was found a few days later in the ladies' restroom, and that it was definitely not her fault.
Pidge's chatter flew in with one ear and out with the other.
Keith had returned to Earth almost six months earlier, resigning from being a member of the Blade of Marmora, which he had helped transform into a charity. After returning to his home planet, he immediately holed up in his father's hut, away from cities, civilization, aliens, and all the changes that took place on Earth. He missed the world he knew from his teenage years before they found the Blue Lion. He left as a boy, came back as a man, and he couldn't fit in again. He never really could, but now everything seemed to be a lot more complicated than when he was younger.
He felt overwhelmed, he needed peace and quiet, and loneliness served him.
He had to take a break from space and saving the universe, catch his breath and think about what to do next. And even though a few months had passed, he still didn't know what he wanted to do.
Pidge’s urging him to return to the Garrison didn't help. He appreciated that the Holts and Iverson himself wanted him back at the unit, and although he had trouble deciding what he wanted to do with his life, he definitely knew he didn't want to do this . He doesn't want to fly in space anymore and fight, since he didn't have to. Not without friends, not without the Red and Black Lions.
I guess I deserved a little peace after all this, right?
He thought Shiro came up with a similar assumption when he left Atlas and the fight behind him and took a small island in the Atlantic Ocean from the Garrison. Now he was living there with her husband and invited friends and former comrades of arms to visit their little paradise.
“So, when are you going to visit Shiro?” Keith asked, who was already bored of hearing about adapting Althean technology to terrestrial realities.
"First of all," Pidge sounded exasperated, "we're all going, you too, Mr. Emo-Loner. Second, it's today.”
Keith looked surprised at the calendar on the wall. He had lost track of time, all he knew was that today was Saturday because he had spoken to Pidge, but which in turn and in which month he did not.
"Don’t tell me you forgot about it!" Pidge screamed at his confused expression.
"I haven't forgotten," murmured, trying to defend himself. Keith tried to pretend in front of everyone that he knew what he was doing, that he was responsible and was doing well, but those appearances were built on shaky foundations. Keith hated feeling lost, and he was lost during the last few weeks in space and now on Earth. “Besides, I told Shiro that I don't know if I will be able to come.”
“And why is that?”
Keith felt attacked and cornered, and Pidge knew very well that Keith was not okay. She was surprisingly good at reading him like an open book.
“I have a few things to do …”
"Phi, not a few things," she said without looking up, which only irritated Keith. "It's a fake, you're trying to distance yourself from us again."
I already did, Pidge , crossed his mind. We've all moved apart in the last two years.
“You cannot know that.”
“Of course, I can.” She glanced at him briefly. “You are my friend and I know you well enough to see when you distance yourself and change into the emo kid you were in the beginning. What happened to your confidence, Keith? Is something bothering you?”
Shit, she was way too good at figuring out how he felt.
"I'm tired of all this," he sighed.
“What exactly?”
The better question would be what he wasn’t tired about.
"The Blade of Marmora, the Galactic Coalition, and all the work of rebuilding the universe. I was much better at fighting the bad guys.”
Pidge laughed.
“I understand you perfectly. On the one hand, I am tired of sitting on my butt and lack adrenaline. On the other hand, I am finally with my family, doing what I love the most.” In a softer voice, she added, "What about Krolia and Kolivan?"
Typical weekly question for which Keith only had one answer.
“I think it's okay. I haven't talked to them for a long time. If they needed my help, they would have called.”
As always, Pidge was dissatisfied with this answer. Keith himself would like to have more to say about it. He knew his mother was deeply committed to restoring Galra's good name. After all, she had fought among the Blade of Marmora to free the universe from the cruel tyranny of Zarkon, later Lotor, and finally Honerva. Fighting for freedom and peace has always been part of her life, for this, she had abandoned Keith and his father once.
And though they had spent two years travelling through the Quantum Abyss and grew closer, Keith still wished she had been with him when his father died. That she hadn't been present in his life since forever. He hated that their contact was breaking off again. He couldn't do anything with the amount of work that was overwhelming her and Kolivan. They talked whenever they could, but Keith was still a little angry at heart that she had again chosen something else than living peacefully with him on Earth.
Some aren't made to age peacefully, she had told him the last time they saw each other.
But am I? he wondered now.
All he knew was that he wanted peace of mind, stabilization. Someone by your side. But would such a life be enough for him?
Then the topic of conversation turned to something Pidge was enthusiastic about. Keith didn't dare to say anything. When she finally stopped to catch her breath, he quickly changed the subject.
“How's Lance?” He asked in a neutral tone.
Pidge stopped playing with the robot's components and looked up at him. Keith felt as if in her eyes flashed anger or disappointment, but it might as well be just a reflection of light in her glasses. Even so, his stomach tightened. This girl had the devil's gaze and was three times more terrifying than Satan himself.
"Not very well," she replied calmly, though the tone of her voice changed. Keith was afraid he knew what she was getting at. “Do you talk to each other at all?”
“No.”
That one syllable sounded much sadder than he liked. He was getting better at controlling his emotions and being calm about his life, but only when the conversation wasn't about Lance or Allura's sacrifice. Each time he remembered that horrible, wicked thought that had crept into his mind after her death and would not leave him.
He disgusted himself.
He clenched his hands into fists and pressed them against his thighs. Kosmo looked up from the couch that served as his bedding and looked at Keith with concern.
"And you should," Pidge said. “You really want it, don't you? That's why you need to visit Shiro today and talk to him. Besides, Shiro has a surprise for us.”
She spat out the last word in disgust. It was clear that she hated surprises.
Keith wanted to accept the offer but knew he shouldn't, if only for his mental and emotional health. He didn't want to make himself suffer again.
"I’m not sure".
Pidge put down the screwdriver with a loud thud, Keith nearly jumped in his chair, surprised by her sudden reaction.
And real anger in my eyes. What did he do to get this reaction?
“Do you think I'm stupid or blind?” She asked and crossed her arms and looked at him defiantly. Pidge was terrifying with that face even if she was much younger.
Keith was confused. He had dealt with the worst representatives of the Galran leaders who were deadly, but it was Pidge's steely gaze and tone of voice that sent shivers down his spine.
“Pidge, I would never have thought of you like that…”
"Of course not," she interrupted. “So don't treat me like I'm a fool, okay? I have eyes and a brain and I can add two and two, so I can clearly see you drooling over your desk every time I mention Lance.”
Keith's cheeks burned.
"I'm not drooling," he protested.
Pidge's left eyebrow rose, contorting in disdain.
“You sound like a grumpy lady, Keith. I may be asexual and aromatic, but I can see when sexual tension enters a room and kicks my buddy in the ass, like anyone with two brain cells.” Pidge softened a little seeing Keith's expression. “So definitely not Lance.”
Keith snorted involuntarily under his breath. The cramps in his stomach were gone, but he still felt uncomfortable. He hated when someone knew his secrets.
“Is it so obvious?”, asked pathetically.
He always did this when it came to Lance.
“Yup. If you had a tail you would probably wag it in his presence until it fell off. Unless another part of the body would get involved.”
“Pidge!” Keith protested indignantly, flushing.
“Come on? I'm not a child anymore. Neither do you, and you must finally address your feelings. That's why I got you a place on the plane next to Hunk and me. You'll be able to confront Lance face to face. Don't worry, we'll see him tonight, Veronica said she'd drop him off.”
Keith almost groaned at himself in anger, as hope lit up in him again.
"Come on, I know you want it," Pidge said, a nasty smirk stuck to her lips.
Sure he wanted it. Wanted to see not only Lance but other friends as well. He missed them, he missed the years they had spent during the war. He missed a sense of purpose. Besides Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk. And Lance.
Oh God, he missed Lance so much.
Pidge's wide smirk finally convinced him.
"All right," he sighed. “But I don't promise you anything.”
“You think I’m planning something?” Pidge laughed. “Maybe I should.”
"I hate you sometimes, Holt," he sighed.
“Love you too, Kogane.” She glanced at her watch. “Great, I'll send Matt for you, he’ll be there in three hours. Don't talk to him about the new Monsters and Mana , he'll bore you to death and I need you alive. And take Kosmo, I want to pet him. You'll see, it'll be fun. And finally, smile."
Keith lifted the corner of his mouth, Pidge gave him a thumbs-up and hung up. Kosmo got off the couch and rested his head on Keith's lap. He looked at him with dark eyes, as if to ask if he was okay. Keith preferred not to answer that question. He scratched the wolf behind the ears.
“Looks like we need to pack, buddy.”