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He awoke from a deep sleep with the scent of jasmine and honey, which was engraved in his memory. The morning sun, filtering through the windows of the Wind House, danced on the dark walls, warming the great room immensely. He felt a warm hand move across her bare chest as he opened his eyes and stared at the vial on the nightstand—as he always did when she slept here. It's weird, he wouldn't normally fall asleep like this with any woman he's been in bed with. In fact, he would not take any woman to his room, to the house where he was staying. Looking back at the window, he realized that the clock had advanced a long way. He woke up later than usual.
Something was definitely not normal.
While deeply inhaling the sweet scent of jasmine and honey mixed with the air of the room, he turned his head to the other side, towards the body, which was rather weak and small next to his own body. Seeing the face illuminated by the sun's rays, she felt the air in her lungs suddenly stop. He had forgotten to breathe.
That familiar golden shimmering long hair was scattered across the pile of dark pillows and right wing beside him, the most beautiful face the continent had ever seen, enveloped in peaceful sleep. Her pale pink lips that were slightly parted and her cheekbones flushed as she slept seemed to add to her beauty. He had never met such a devastating and pure beauty in his nearly five hundred years of life.
Elain Archeron was in the middle of a peaceful sleep, hugging him tightly.
Azriel was so bewildered that he hadn't even noticed that the face she had been staring at for minutes had opened her eyes, wrinkling her nose sweetly. How could they wake up in this situation? Without hiding, without talking about resentments… What kind of reward was this? What had Mother done to reward her with this paradise?
Elain leveled their faces as she straightened herself, noticing his flank, placing her arms on his hard chest. Her eyes, the color of roe deer fur, filled with peace and joy, studied his hazel eyes carefully.
It was as if she knew she didn't have much time.
"E-Elain?"
The young woman tilted her head slightly to the right, a smile he would want to see for the rest of his life. The tulle sleeves of her blue nightgown covered the black tattoos on his chest. He almost laughed at the way she tilted her head sweetly to the side. Feyre and Nesta's move to frighten their enemies didn't seem like a threat to Elain. Azriel almost groaned in delight as the young woman's small hand tangled in his hair. This woman's hands were like healing and were healing him. Without opening his eyes, which were closed by Elain's touch, he spoke.
"Are you a dream?"
"This is our reality."
Azriel tightened his arm around Elain's waist and pulled the young woman closer to him. He leaned his own face against her neck, the source of her unique scent. As he sniffed the scent deeply, he thought about how easily he would give up everything to make this moment last forever. He could have sworn that with the kiss on his temple, all his troubles had vanished in an instant.
"You have to wake up."
''I do not want to wake up. I miss you.''
"You should wake up."
''Please stay.''
The hand in his hair was moving as if to soothe him. As Azriel surrendered himself to this attention, the sweet weight on him suddenly disappeared. He felt cold with the hand in his hair and the emptiness of her body between his arms. The scent of jasmine and honey that had been blown into his nose was gone. When he opened his eyes and looked around, he saw no sign of Elain. He tried to get up in bed and send his shadows across the room, but he couldn't. When his eyes turned to the nightstand, the vial was gone. The sun penetrating through the windows was replaced by a rainy and gloomy weather covered with dark clouds.
Shadowsinger opened his eyes to reality.
He was in his own room, in his own bed. The night was getting ready to surrender itself to the day, and the lights of Velaris were starting to fade. The fireplace in the room was about to go out. He was lying face down on the bed with his wings covering both his empty sides. His eyes tried to make out the small bottle on the left nightstand in that darkness. The vial was still there, continuing to remind him of what had happened. The truth-teller was waiting on the nightstand, like that bottle by the head. Azriel buried her head in her pillow and took a deep breath. In his sleep, which was already sparse and light, he had dreams like this. In those dreams, Elain was smiling at him, sleeping with him, making love to him, but it was never real.
Because in reality, Elain wasn't even looking at him.
“Rightly.” He thought. Months had passed since that night. Nyx had grown huge and was already crawling, rustling his wings. In a few months, that sweet little boy would be one year old. Feyre was constantly talking about how much Elain had helped her, complaining that she wouldn't have known how to deal with this mischief without her. She had seen Nyx and Elain alone several times. In the garden, Elain was taking care of her flowers, while Nyx was beside her, examining the colorful flowers, trying to pick them as his aunt had shown. Once he did this and tried to pluck the flower, he would fall backwards, but thanks to his aunt's quick reflexes, he sat down again without falling on his wings. Azriel was hurt when Elain's jovial laugh sounded in his ears. It hurt to not be able to live this moment with him, to be able to watch him only from the shadows. Elain used to smile at him.
A kind, gentle, understanding and brave woman.
He took a deep breath and got up from his bed. He started to put on the black skins that had been pulled from his closet by the shadows. It was a dream she could never have, Elain. He was just a beautiful secret that he could only dream of in his dreams and keep in his memories.
After donning his flushing gloves, he walked out of the room to the training ground and focused himself on practicing until Cassian found him there in the morning.