Chapter Text
The sound of rain against the Earth…loudly hitting the ground and rapidly forming into puddles along the busy streets of Seoul. The droplets were large, quickly falling from the dark, gray sky…yet somehow, moving so slow. In fact, to Jeon Jungkook, everything seemed to move in slow motion. He continued to aimlessly walk along the streets, the cold air from a Monday evening in November sending chills throughout his body. The sound of the rain hitting the black umbrella above his head made it even harder to think. But, considering he wasn’t really sure where he was heading, maybe he wasn’t thinking at all. He figured that was his problem. He had too little time to think about anything and when he did have time…his mind was blank. He wasn’t sure what to do about it either.
Abruptly, he stopped in the middle of the street. As he looked at all of the people around him, he suddenly felt a feeling that he wasn’t capable of feeling when on his own. He felt purpose…and meaning…clarity…and warmth. Everyone around him knew exactly where they were going and what they were supposed to do. Everything was easy for them to understand and they had the company and warmth of others close to them. But…he didn’t have that…any of that. He was walking…but he didn’t know where he was going. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing. He had no clarification for anything…and he was all alone. He had always been alone. He had no one he was close to, and no one in the world seemed to care about him. In fact, it was almost as if he was invisible…no one even acknowledged his existence. It was a terrible feeling…to be unwanted.
He reluctantly glanced at others as they passed by, wondering what kind of thoughts they had running through their heads. He wondered what kind of thoughts should be running through his head. He sighed in fear, as the thought of disappearing from the world without a trace entered his mind. If that happened…would anybody at all remember him?
He looked up at the crying sky, the rain once again moving as if it was in slow motion. Why was it that every time he stopped to notice something, it felt as if time stopped as well? It felt like time had frozen…as if he was unable to just live in the moment. How was he supposed to live, then? If he couldn’t enjoy everything around him as others did…did that mean he wasn’t the same? Was he not human? That was a crazy thought but…he just wasn’t sure what to think of himself.
The rain that hit the puddles beneath him echoed loudly in his ears. Everyone else moved in motion…yet he could only stand still. He stared at his reflection in the puddle below. Why did he always look so lost and forlorn? Would he ever be happy? Would anything ever bring him happiness? He only wished he wasn’t so miserable.
As he returned his gaze to the path in front of him, he noticed a peculiar boy also standing still in the middle of the street. He too appeared to be staring at his reflection in the muddy puddles…but why? The blonde eventually lifted his head, his eyes locking with Jungkook’s. The sight of him was so melancholic. He looked pitiful, not even an umbrella to cover his head. He just stood there, soaked from head to toe in the rain that continuously showered him. The brunette began to feel sympathetic towards the stranger who seemed so much like himself at first glance. He headed over to the blonde who didn’t even bother to move. The older just stared at him, eyes filled with innocence and confusion. Somehow, Jungkook couldn’t help but smile just slightly.
“Need a roof?” He asked the blonde. The boy smiled angelically and moved underneath of the younger’s umbrella.
“Where are you heading to?” The brunette wondered as he and the other began walking.
“Nowhere really…I don’t know…” The blonde replied, mildly surprising Jungkook. Why did this boy seem like his reflection? When he looked at his lifeless face, he could see so much of himself.
“To the train station, I guess?” The older eventually suggested, which didn’t seem like a bad idea to the younger.
He continued to walk alongside his ‘shadow’, though the two never really spoke. Perhaps they were just together for the company, quietly sorting out their own thoughts while appearing to be just as close as everyone else that walked together. With this boy by his side, Jungkook realized that he didn’t seem so awkward in public anymore. He wasn’t alone and he looked like he had everything going for him. He didn’t seem lost or look overly depressed…maybe he just looked a little tired from a long day. In fact, he felt a little warm for the first time in this typical cold weather. For once in his life, he noticed others looking his way…actually acknowledging his presence. Some smiled, some nodded in his direction, and some waved at him. To those friendly individuals, he acknowledged them in the same way. He smiled to himself, feeling unusually joyful for some reason. He glanced over at the blonde beside him, who also smiled sweetly upon catching the younger’s eyes on him.
Jungkook and the boy that mirrored him so much continued along the puddle-filled streets of Seoul until they reached the train station that the blonde had requested to visit. They stepped up onto the platform where the tickets for the train could be purchased, putting an end to their time together. Jungkook took down the umbrella as the older shook his head and ruffled up his wet hair. The two eventually turned back to each other.
“Thanks for walking me here; I appreciate it.” The blonde showed his respect for the younger.
Jungkook simply shook his head with a smile. “It’s no problem; have a safe trip.”
He bid farewell to the other who waved at him with a grin before walking off. The younger watched as he left, understanding that he was now alone once again. And just like before, the world seemed too big for he who was so small. Others once more passed him by, rendering him invisible. He began to feel that maybe it was better if he just left this place as well…even if it was only for a little while.
Without worrying where he’d go, he pulled out his wallet to check how much money he had on him. He sighed, noticing that he only had about twenty dollars. Wherever he went, he’d definitely need every bit of that cash, meaning he didn’t have enough to purchase a ticket. He sat down on a bench, feeling completely hopeless that anything would ever come his way…good or bad.
After a while, he began to feel a bit tired. Most people had left the station by now but he still sat there on that bench, nearly half asleep. Rather abruptly, he heard a train horn loudly echo throughout the empty area. The cold brunette sat up with a shiver, seeing a train suddenly stop on the tracks right outside of the station. He looked behind him to see if the ticket booth was open, but there was no one there at the moment. No one else appeared to be near either. With that and the feeling of despair sinking into him rather quickly tonight, Jungkook ran over to the stopped train and hopped onto it.
It didn’t really look like a cargo train or anything like that, not that it couldn’t be carrying cargo. It had several booths with seats available, as if people regularly boarded this train. He looked at the long path ahead of him, his ice-like breath visible to him now. He slowly and tiredly headed down the path until he found the door to the back booth. He sat down on the first seat to the left of the door, breathing into his hands in hopes of generating warmth. He propped up his hand onto his face, fixing his emotionless gaze on the rainy scenery outside of the window.
As the train began to move, Jungkook began to think about what he would do once it stopped again. Where would he go, then? He didn’t even know where this train was taking him. What would he do? With all of these questions, he didn’t even notice another light haired boy had entered the booth until minutes later. Several more minutes passed and he realized that he wasn’t alone anymore. There were a few others as well, confusing him slightly. Were there tickets available for this train after all? When he looked to his right and found that blonde from earlier sitting across from him, he wasn’t sure what to think. The melancholic boy smiled slightly, likely trying to hide the agony he felt inside…much like Jungkook. Although the youngest tried to smile back, it was a smile that broke all too quickly.
He returned his gaze to the window, where he pondered endlessly about life and its meaning. What was it supposed to mean? What was his purpose for living? Scary thoughts like these clouded his mind and he just wanted it all to stop. That was when he began paying attention to what was happening around him.
Everything in his life had always moved slowly…until now. Staring out the window, he noticed the tracks changed on the train at the last minute, causing it to swerve into going forward once more. He put a hand on the cold glass, as if only a gesture could change everything. However, he had no voice. He couldn’t cry out or scream…he was stunned speechless. He could hear his heart beating through his ears in a moment of panic. It was the loudest thing he had ever heard. With enormously terrified eyes, he turned his gaze towards the view in front of him…only to be greeted with the front end of another train. Just like that…just that quick…everything had ended in a crash.