you were no stranger to the guilt that plagued the avengers anytime a mission went south, when innocent civilians got hurt in the crossfire.
having been under SHIELD ever since clint and natasha rescued you from a hydra base where you had been tested on, it was a no brainer for nick fury to add you into the avengers. with your telekinesis, ability to conjure up energy barriers and read auras, you very quickly became an essential part of the team. but beyond that, you saw everyone as a family, a family you only ever dreamed of as a kid.
when you first met wanda, despite the fact you were on opposite sides of the battle, you couldn’t help but feel intrigued by the girl. you could practically feel the hum of her magic and wanda would later share that she felt the same pull too. which led to the both of you realising your powers came primarily from the infinity stones. this made your training together a whole lot easier but at the same time so much more difficult.
wanda’s magic was on the offensive side, you were in awe when she showed you what she could truly do with her magic. from balls of energy to a steady stream of power, you were slightly jealous you didn’t possess the ability to do the same. your magic was very much defensive, you could make strong barries and shields with a flick of your wrist and it could simply stay there without you having to do much to keep it up. because of the opposing nature of your powers, while you could help her strengthen it whenever you two fought, you didn’t really do much of control training.
one could argue that your lack of foresight was the reason for what just happened in lagos. when you saw wanda fling the bomber to the sky, you could tell her magic wouldn’t hold out long enough to get him safely away. before you could even think about the consequences of your actions, you flew to the building and casted a huge barrier just as wanda’s magic gave out and the guy exploded.
the blast was strong and due to how close you were, you were flung back. wanda watched in horror as your body made contact with the building behind you and the barrier disappeared, your body falling straight to the ground below. throwing her hands out quickly, a red mist surrounded your limp body, effectively slowly your descent and gently brought you down to where natasha and sam were waiting. after you were securely in natasha’s arms, wanda watched with tears burning in her eyes as the assassin ran off to get you medical attention.
as the quinjet made its way back to the avenger’s base, wanda sat quietly in her seat, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. steve looked over at the younger girl worriedly, knowing that the sokovian witch was currently beating herself up over what just happened. the two of you had gotten close, everyone on the team (except you and wanda) could clearly see the budding feels you had for each other. you were always so protective over wanda, making sure she was doing alright, comforting her and holding her whenever she needed.
wanda was the first person since clint and natasha who you opened up to fully. the first few weeks, you would share about your childhood, or rather your lack thereof. you wanted to show wanda more than anything that her past did not have to define her present nor her future. with you, wanda felt safe, heard and loved.
once back at the base, natasha gathered you up in her arms again and rushed off to the medical wing. steve could only watch as wanda hurried off the opposite way to her room, eyes never leaving the ground the guilt radiating from her hunched form.
“guess i’m stuck on report duty?” sam joked as he hopped off the quinjet, turning to raise a brow at steve.
“i’ll come find you once i check on y/n and wanda,” steve promised as he jumped down and followed the path natasha took minutes earlier.
-
the last thing you remembered before everything went black was the sight of the bomber blowing up right in front of you. jolting awake with a start, you hissed quietly at the pain that shot through your head and back. vaguely aware of the hand on top of yours, you turned your head slowly to see natasha passed out on the chair next to you.
as you tried to move your hand away to get some water, the assassin woke up and her eyes quickly landed on you, relief washing over her when she saw that you were conscious. removing her hand from yours, she poured you a cup of water and directed the straw to your lips. after finishing the whole cup, you mumbled your thanks still trying to adjust to the dull ache you felt throughout your body.
“don’t ever do that again, you could’ve died,” natasha warned, her hand finding yours again as you squeezed it softly.
“i’m sorry for scaring you, but no promises that i won’t do that again.” you joked, quickly regretting it when natasha smacked your arm.
“okay okay, jokes aside. i really didnt expect the blast to be that big. would’ve easily wiped out two or more floors.. people could’ve died nat.” you insisted, eyes staring right back into hers. natasha simply shook her head, knowing it was no use arguing with you.
“well then you better talk to wanda after this. you were out for a couple days and she’s been holed up in her room since we got back.” natasha sighed. she had tried to coax the witch out , be it to train or eat but it seemed like the only people that actually managed to talk to her were steve and vision. even then, both of them reported that she wasn’t responding much to either of them.
“could i go talk to her now?” you pleaded, already starting to worry about the younger girl.
“y/n, you honestly look like shit right now. you might end up making her feel worse,” natasha pointed out, making you huff in defeat knowing the red head wasn’t wrong. you did feel like absolute shit still and you briefly wondered if you could use your healing magic on yourself. you got your answer pretty quickly when a sharp pain shot through your head as you attempted to alleviate any of the aches you were feeling.
“please just sleep y/n/n, you can talk to her tomorrow okay,” natasha chided as she moved to tuck you tighter into bed, fiddling with the IV hooked up to you, doing what bruce had instructed her to do if you had woken up in pain. much to your relief, you could feel the painkillers slowly ease your discomfort and lull you back into a dreamless sleep.
-
the next time you woke up, you were thankful that the ache you had felt last time was practically nonexistent. pushing yourself up slowly, you allowed your eyes to slowly adjust to your surroundings and a smile started to form on your face when you saw wanda curled up on the couch opposite your bed. the witch was sound alseep, yet to notice that you had woken up.
“wanda?” you spoke gently, not wanting to spook the girl. wanda stirred awake and gasped softly when she saw you sitting up, staring right at her. she quickly stood up and for a moment you were afraid she was going to just run out of the room. your fears were quickly pacified when she made her way over to you. gently shuffling to make as much space as you could in the small hospital bed, you patted the space next to you, giving wanda a gentle smile. you stayed quiet as she sat next to you. hesitantly, you reached out to hold her hand, tears threatening to fall when she allowed it, squeezing it tightly.
“y/n.. i’m so sorry,” wanda murmured, eyes trained on your hand in hers as she desperately tried to blink her tears away. taking a deep breath she confessed, “i thought i killed you. i thought you were going to die and i would be to blame.”
“wanda look at me,” you instructed firmly, waiting patiently as the red head took a shuddering breath, lifting her head to meet your gaze before you continued, “whatever happened was not your fault. the bomb, the explosion, that wasn’t your fault. me getting too close to that bomber wasn’t your fault either- it was mine. i should’ve been more careful and more aware. wanda, if you hadn’t done what you did, steve and whole bunch of innocent civilians would be dead or hurt. i promise you that i am okay, do not blame yourself for my own decisions because i most certainly don’t.”
a choked sob escaped wanda’s lips as she stared into your eyes. she was searching, looking for any sign that could point to you lying- about the blame, about your pain. but as expected, she found none. pulling your hand away from hers, you gently wrapped it around her and pulled her towards you as you laid down. wanda shuffled as close to you as could, arms wrapping around your waist as she cried into your shoulder. she had been terrified since that moment, the horrible thought that you could’ve died hasn’t left her mind since. to have you in her arms again felt surreal and she tightened her grip on you ever so slightly as you whispered soothingly, reminding her that you were here and alive. she let her thoughts swim freely in her head, multiple thoughts piling up but she only had one question for you.
“are you scared of me?”
your words died in your throat as your brain processed her question. pulling away from wanda, you looked at her incredulously before replying with “why would i be scared of you?”
“my powers. they can hurt people. i can hurt people.” wanda muttered, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she waited for your response not daring to meet your gaze.
“i’m not afraid of you, i could never be afraid of you.” you stated, your free hand gently tilting wanda’s chin up so you could look at her. automatically, your fingers move to wipe away her tears before cupping her cheek, your heart melting as she pressed gently into your hand. a couple minutes pass before wanda moves to grab the hand on her face and pulled it around her waist. shuffling back to your previous position, the two of you snuggled together before falling asleep.
-
after finally being discharged, you had been ordered to take at least a week off to heal properly much to your frustration. you were forbidden from any physical activity, the team only allowing to go out to run which they knew you absolutely hated. but by the third day of you being cooped up with nothing to do, you ended up going for a run anyway. you sorely regretted it afterwards, pointedly ignoring the mixture of shocked and amused looks coming from the rest of the team. thankfully the week had passed by fairly quickly and soon you were back to training with the rest of the avengers. however this was where you discovered another frustration.
“okay this is the third time wanda has stood me up for a training session. can someone please tell me where she is?” you had barged into the living area looking for the red headed witch and instead found steve, vision, sam and rhodey watching a movie together. so here you were, body purposefully blocking the rest from the screen so you could finally get some answers. you looked directly at steve and vision, eyes narrowing when you noticed the two of them actively trying to avoid your gaze.
“oh come on i know one of you know something,” you practically growled in frustration. you were itching to do some proper magic hand to hand combat and wanda was the only one who could go head to head with you in that department. another nagging thought that wanda was purposefully ignoring you was there but you couldn’t help but push it away as you two were fine.. right? when no one could provide any proper answer, you let out an exasperated huff as you stormed back to the gym looking to at least relieve some of your tension on a punching bag.
as you began your unrelenting assault on the red punching bag in front of you, you allowed your mind to ponder over the nagging thought from before. was wanda really avoiding you? other than missing your training sessions, you had assumed that you two were fine but suddenly a realisation hit you hard. hard enough that you had forgotten all about the punching bag and with the momentum you created, it swung right into you- flinging you onto the mat below. as you groaned in pain, you allowed your body to lay limp on the ground when you realised that you hadn’t gotten a hug from wanda for almost a week now. as silly as it sounded, you knew that the lack of physical touch meant something.
the very first time wanda had shyly asked to initiate skinship with you, you told her she could come and hug you or hold your hand anytime she wanted. true to your word, whenever wanda simply craved for some physical affection, she would always come to you and you would never say no. the team would often walk into the kitchen to see wanda hugging you from behind as you prepared some toast, or find the two of you cuddled together in wanda’s room watching her sitcoms. even when they were all seated together in the living room for game night, wanda would always find her way next you, head on your shoulder or hand in yours. eventually you started to initiate it too, making it rare to see one of you without the other. with the way you had grown up, you never really received much physical love. physical abuse yes, you were hurt in many ways by the hydra agents which eventually made you hesitant to be touched by anyone really.
the first time natasha had hugged you, it was after having a nightmare. you had been staying in her apartment and when she heard you scream, she came running in with a gun, thinking you were being taken. instead she found your curled into a ball, lying in your side, staring at the wall mindlessly as if you hadn’t just screamed your head off. you rarely cried after nightmares, having grown numb to the horrors your subconscious had tried to remind you of. when natasha laid next to your shaking form, she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around you tightly. you had stiffened up at first, however when your brain finally processed the fact that you were being held, that when you had cried, sobs wracked through your body as you had shifted to hug natasha back.
thoughts shifting back to the present, you continued to think back to the last week with wanda. the two of you had spent the days cooking, watching sitcoms and disney movies. but ever since that night in the med bay she hadn’t initiated any physical touch. slowly sitting up, you allowed your hand to rest on your stomach, feeling the ache reduce as your hand glowed blue from your power. once you had gotten your bearings back, you stood up and grabbed your stuff as you headed out to look for wanda, thankful you hadn’t worked up much of a sweat.
after spending the next couple hours searching for the sokovian girl, you wearily headed back to your bedroom, planning to take a quick shower before continue your search. but, as luck would have it, your room is where you end up finding wanda.
“so you mean to tell me that i’ve been searching through this whole damn place looking for you, only to find you right here in my bedroom?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at wanda who was sitting on the floor at the edge of your bed. honestly your bedroom was the last place you had expected wanda to be in. you rarely spent any time in your room, only to shower or to sleep. somewhere in the back of your mind, you realized that before this week you hadn’t actually slept alone for quite a while, always ending up with wanda in the middle of the night when either of you had nightmares. moving closer to her, you quietly noted that she had one of your sweaters on and whatever else you had to say next flew out of the window when you noticed her tear stained cheeks.
“wan? are you okay? what happened?” you knelt in front of her, your hands quickly finding hers. wanda looked up at you, her eyes glistening with even more tears. even after your talk, the guilt from that day had continued to manifest in wanda, eating away at her subconscious.
“i had a nightmare. where i hurt you.” wanda’s words were so soft that you would’ve missed it if you weren’t so busy staring at her. before you could say anything else, she continued, “i’m scared y/n/n. because you mean so so much to me and i don’t want to hurt you. you say you’re not scared of me, but how? how can you not be terrified of me when i’ve given you no reason to trust me? i don’t even trust myself.” you sigh softly to yourself as you move both of your hands to cup wanda’s face, thumbs gently wiping away her tears. you move to settle on her lap, eyes never leaving hers. taking a deep breath, you did your best to push aside the worry building in your stomach as you started to speak.
“i could never be scared of you. not when i know how much you care for me, not when i feel so safe whenever i’m with you. if you wanted to hurt me wanda, there were millions of opportunities for you to have done some serious damage to me in the last one year we’ve known each other. i trust you just as much as i trust nat, which honestly says something because she’s the closest thing i have to a family. you make me feel so many things wanda but you have never made me feel fear.” as you spoke, you continued to hold her face gently, eyes never leaving hers. wanda licked her lips gently as she processed your words, before asking
“what do i make you feel if it’s not fear?”
you looked at the girl under you, squishing her cheeks in response as you finally gathered up all the guts you had left.
“love. you make me feel love and not the platonic kind. at first it was the fluttery, butterflies kind. now it’s a very comforting, safe and warm love. the kind of love that tells me i want you in my life for a long time.” you confessed, as you watched the various emotions swim through her eyes.
“but how can you love me when i’m so hard to love? when i have all this power and responsibility?” wanda asks, her hands moving to grasp onto yours, gently pulling them to settle in between you two.
“you seem to forget that i too have powers and responsibilities,” you chuckle lightly, giving wanda’s hands a gentle squeeze as you carried on, “and on the contrary wan, you’re so easy to love. i love that despite all the shit the world has managed to throw your way, you’re still here. i love how even though training with steve and natasha can be absolutely gruelling, you’re always the first few to reach training. i love how you’ve actually gotten vision to become more human if that’s even possible. i love how you always let someone else pick a movie even when it’s your turn if you sensed that they were having a bad day. i love you give the best hugs, the kind of hugs that make me feel safe and protected. your struggles, your past and your pain do not define you but have shaped you into the wonderful human you are. i can assure you that you, my dearest wanda maximoff, you are not difficult to love, and those parts that you find hard to love will be the ones i love the most.” by the end of your speech, you could see the tears coming back and you hurried to wipe them away again. wanda’s arms snaked around your waist, hugging you close as she cried softly. your arms wrapped around her neck as you pressed soft kisses to the top of her head. after a couple more minutes, wanda’s tears finally died down but she never made an attempt to move from her position under you. it just felt so comforting to have you in her arms again, she felt like she never wanted to let go. she was always aware of the feelings she had towards you, very much like you had described, the feelings transitioned smoothly from the telltale butterflies to the comforting warm she was feeling now. it felt euphoric to be able to hold you so close, thankful that you were still here, that you were alive and that somehow you didn’t hate her.
“i love you too by the way,” wanda mumbles into your neck. “the i want to kiss you and be in your life forever kind of love.” you could feel your heart practically leap in your chest at her words. slowly pulling away from wanda, you looked at her with what the witch could only describe as pure adoration in your eyes. leaning forward, you pressed a kiss onto wanda’s forehead and another two on both her cheeks. the smile that wanda gave you made your heart stutter in your chest, a blush spreading across your face as wanda copied your actions. the feel of her lips on your face was something you mentally added into your ever growing list of “reasons why i love wanda”.
as the sun sets outside, you and wanda talked. the two of you sharing the feelings you had felt for each other for the last year. you promising wanda they would work on her power control and stamina, and her promising to come and talk to you whenever she felt worried about her powers instead of avoiding training altogether. the road ahead wasn’t going to be easy, you knew that much.
however as the moon rose in the sky and the stars danced in the moonlight, the two of you soon found yourselves cuddled in bed together. the worries from the day laid to rest as you sought comfort from each other.
and when the sun rises again tomorrow, you were grateful for your family and grateful for the love surrounding you. love is not always easy, but with the right people, love will come in steady waves bringing comfort when you most need it.