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‘Delicious,’ Niko says, kissing his cheek and Joonas laughs. He’d cooked (just pasta but it had been from scratch) since it’s their official date night since Tuesdays were both their nights off. They’d missed each other the past couple of weeks just because of stuff coming up so Joonas has thought he’d do something a little special.
He finishes the last mouthful of wine in his glass and gets up to clear the plates. He goes back into the kitchen, setting the plates by the sink. When he comes back out Niko has pulled a laptop out of his bag and he’s frowning at the screen.
‘Oh, do you want the wifi password again?’ Joonas asks, surprised.
‘Nah,’ Niko says, shaking his head. ‘I gotta use the satellite thingy anyway.’ He indicates the black box (it looks like an external hard drive) he’s got plugged into the side of the laptop. Joonas is a little put out and wants to ask why he’s logging on now but he doesn’t dare. He’s still sort of afraid of Niko, even though they’ve been playing house like this for almost a year.
Niko doesn’t live with him but he slept at Joonas’ more nights than not. Or days he should say. Niko's schedule doesn’t seem to have any sort of pattern (apart from Tuesdays off and Joonas is fairly certain Niko carved out especially for him). He’d been surprised to find him sparked out on his couch in the morning or woken in the night by the groaning pipes as the shower went on.
Niko also pays his rent and bills. It’s not something Joonas is particularly proud of since he knows where that money comes from. But then, his money comes from that too and has been for the past nearly four years. He’s also fairly certain it’s a form of very low-level money laundering but he hasn’t asked. So Niko keeps him and fucks him, and Joonas cares about it much less than he feels like he should.
He doesn’t feel like he’s in love with Niko. He feels like he’s drowning in him. Drowning in all of it. The blood and the gore and the horror and the sex. It’s awful and intoxicating all in one. They don’t talk about work a lot. Joonas still has his regular cleaning shifts and only has to do extracurricular stuff when they get a special request. It’s better than he could have hoped, he guesses. But it’s a strange kind of freedom.
They don’t talk about Aleksi much either. Although whatever the thing between them is, Niko dubiously permits it. Since Aleksi seems to be as willing to put himself between Joonas and Joel as Niko is. But Aleksi’s not allowed in Joonas’ flat. So Joonas goes to his; a terrifyingly swanky split-tier apartment on the river. The guy on the front desk always gives him this condescending look like he doesn’t want Joonas to soil the carpet so he sort of hates going there.
But inside Aleksi’s apartment is nice. Minimal and modern. One of the bedrooms (the one Joonas spends most of his time in) is painted completely red. A red room, he’d said the first time he’d seen it. Aleksi had snorted softly at that and Joonas had gotten the joke. If you could call it that.
‘Alex, you’re fucking late, man,’ Niko says, speaking to his screen and tapping his wrist where a watch would be.
‘Ah, fuck off Niko,’ Aleksi snaps from the screen. Joonas can hear he’s pissed. ‘We’re at the warehouse — had a runner — it’s been a fucking nightmare.’ Joonas stills as he hears Aleksi’s voice. He comes around the coffee table to sit on the sofa next to Niko so he can see the screen. Niko shuffles up, so Joonas is in the frame when he sits.
‘You’re a sight for sore eyes,’ Aleksi says, smiling at him from the screen. Joonas snorts, embarrassed to be spoken to like that in front of Niko and what looks like Olli and Tommi setting up behind Aleksi.
‘Joel’s been bitching so I thought we’d give them a little treat,’ Niko says, putting his hand on the back of Joonas’ neck and squeezing gently. Joonas glances at him curiously and Niko leans in to give him a long open-mouthed kiss. Joonas can only assume this is for Aleksi’s benefit. Niko pulls back from him and mutters he’s just going to grab a couple of things. Joonas nods, head still spinning from the kiss.
Aleksi’s still watching him from the screen.
‘What is it tonight?’ Joonas asks since he can’t really see what Olli and Tommi are doing further back.
‘Livestream for a few selected clients,’ Aleksi explains. ‘A couple of fans of yours,’ he adds, smirking, and Joonas feels his throat constrict. Niko comes back, nudging Joonas back to show Aleksi the little webcam he’s got and asks about setting it up. Joonas can feel his heart throbbing as Niko plugs in cables and extends the tripod, setting the camera on Joonas’ coffee table. All the better to see him with.
‘We’re starting in 10,’ Joonas hears Tommi’s muffled call and Aleksi moves back from the screen where he’s been chatting with Niko, finally revealing the warehouse behind him. Joonas can see two wiggling sacks on the floor and two lengths of rope. Joonas feels cold. Wiggling means alive . And while safe in his flat watching through the screen is better than being in the room he can still feel his stomach bubbling. What had Niko dragged him into this time? Joonas hasn’t ever been there when the actual act has taken place; most of the stuff he’d been required to do was after.
‘Sit on me,’ Niko says, sitting in the corner of the sofa behind Joonas and gesturing for Joonas to move back onto him. Joonas frowns but does it and allows Niko to move him into a good position, sprawled over Niko’s legs. Joonas glances at the screen and realises he’s perfectly framed in the small window that shows the feed from Niko’s webcam on the coffee table.
‘Good,’ Niko says, kissing the side of Joonas’ head and slipping his hand briefly under the waistband of Joonas’ sweats to squeeze his balls. Joonas yelps and Niko chuckles against the back of his neck. They’d had sex when Joonas had got back from his shift earlier and Joonas hadn’t bothered to put his underwear back on. A decision he was now regretting.
‘Okay, Niko, we’re going online now,’ Tommi’s voice says from the screen. Niko removes his hand from Joonas’ sweats and gives Tommi an okay sign.
‘Keep looking at the camera,’ Niko mutters and Joonas nods so Niko can see him on the screen. Now Joonas is looking at the screen he can see the sacks have been strung up to hang behind Tommi and Aleksi. They’re still wriggling and the sight makes Joonas’ stomach clench. He can see there’s a table to the left of Tommi and Aleksi set out with various implements. He doesn’t look at those too closely either.
Several other people have joined the call now, though all their cameras are off and Joonas can see the chat pop up in the corner so that must be microphones off as well. Are we starting Alex? Green texts scrolling on the screen.
‘Two more,’ Aleksi says, flashing a peace sign. ‘You see we have a special guest watching with us, hm?’
He’s wearing too much . Blue text this time. A different speaker. Niko laughs, thumbs running underneath the hem of Joonas’ t-shirt, showing off a thin strip of his pale skin. Joonas feels his face heat. A cartoony cha-ching sounds from the computer and Niko chuckles. He gently eases Joonas’ t-shirt over his head, making sure to lightly scratch over Joonas’ ribs to make him squirm as he does. Joonas can see Aleksi watching him through the screen.
‘Okay, you’re with me and Tommi today,’ Aleksi says, voice light. ‘I’ll start the poll.’
Let Joonas pick. Blue text again. Joonas feels Niko chuckling behind him and can see Aleksi smirking on the screen as well.
‘If you like,’ Aleksi says with a laugh. ‘Joonas, you want to pick?’
‘Pick what?’ Joonas asks, leaning closer at the screen, forgetting he’s visible to unknown strangers.
‘You pick one of these,’ Aleksi says, indicating the table. ‘And me and Tommi will see what we can do.’ A dark chuckle, this time from Tommi. Joonas’ eyes flick over the screen, eyeing what’s on the table. Joonas’ stomach is twisting uncomfortably. He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t find it funny. It’s worse than being cut and the bubbling in his gut is so powerful it’s starting to get uncomfortable.
‘C’mon pick,’ Niko says, kissing his shoulder.
‘The bat and the pipe,’ Joonas says, not caring to look any closer at the table. He feels sick to his stomach. More chuckling and a scrolling blue good choice. Aleksi picks up the bat and Tommi the pipe as in the background Olli wriggles off the sacks to reveal two people hanging by their feet. One of them starts screaming immediately and Joonas shifts in Niko’s lap.
‘You’re fine,’ Niko says quietly, lifting both hands to stroke Joonas’ hair back off his face. Joonas watches as Aleksi and Tommi take up position. One of the hanging people is still screaming while the other looks to be unconscious. Joonas can see Aleksi’s mouth moving as he pokes the screaming person with the end of his bat. Joonas is relieved he can’t hear what he’s saying.
Aleksi is pacing around the hanging person who is now swinging slightly. Joonas can see the chat is moving quickly but he’s not reading it, he’s too absorbed in the sway of Aleksi’s hips as lets the bat dangle from his hand. Joonas is so caught up in it he forgets what’s going to happen next. Aleksi lifts the bat.
When Aleksi pauses, squaring up his feet, Joonas realises what’s going to happen. His eyes snap closed the moment Aleksi swings. Joonas guesses the wet thwack is the bat connecting but with his eyes closed he is left to imagine what’s taking place on the screen. The screaming gets louder and louder until — at last — it stops. Joonas can’t help it. He looks.
There’s not much left that looks like a person. Aleksi has blood on his face. He’s smiling and Joonas has to swallow the bile in the back of his throat. Tommi’s stepping forward now. The other hanging person hasn’t stirred and the chat seems displeased by this. Tommi nudges them with the pipe a couple of times as Aleksi lights up a cigarette.
They wait while Aleksi finishes his cigarette and tells Tommi to carry on with a shrug. Joonas wonders if it’s better to die never having woken up. Tommi swings the pipe. Joonas tries to force himself to watch but he can barely keep down a retch and Niko’s hands are tight on him. Joonas closes his eyes, turning his face into Niko’s neck. He kisses his skin, though he’s never felt less sexy.
Niko puts a warm hand on his jaw keeping his face pressed against his neck as he reaches to pull down his sweats. Joonas realises he’s hard the moment Niko touches his dick. He’s beyond wondering what the fuck is wrong with him. There’s just something about the drip of the blood and the smell of Niko’s hair. And the red on red on red of flesh and gristle and bone. He just presses closer as Niko starts to stroke him. There’s another cha-ching from the screen.
‘What do you want?’ Niko asks, sucking Joonas’ earlobe. Joonas half opens his eyes but doesn’t look at the screen. Niko chuckles, putting a hand under Joonas’ chin to force his head away from his neck and forcing him to look towards the screen. Joonas keeps his eyelashes low, seeing Tommi still at work with the pipe. He can feel his cheeks flushing, blood close to the surface of his skin.
Niko’s biting his neck. Hard. Hard enough to bruise. Hard enough to break the skin here and there. Niko is oddly romantic like that, loving to leave his kiss marks all over Joonas’ skin. The sting of the bite feels good, leaving Joonas hot and shivery. He’s close. It’s always so easy. Too easy. Joonas isn’t sure when the shame and fear had left him or if it ever had. Maybe that close to the surface feeling of abject terror was what he was craving when he craved Niko’s touch.
Niko’s incisor scrapes a particularly tender spot on Joonas’ neck and he comes, throwing his head back with a sharp exhale. He feels his come hot on his stomach as Niko strokes him through the orgasm. Niko’s licking at his neck, no doubt to taste the salt in his blood, before lifting his head to suck his fingers clean of Joonas’ come. Joonas lets his eyes fall on the screen lazily. Aleksi and Tommi have finished apparently. Aleksi’s close to the screen watching. Watching him, Joonas realises with a jolt. As had this group of faceless strangers, who logged in mid-week to watch a person get beaten to death.
He’s perfect. Blue text. Niko chuckles, kissing the side of Joonas’ head and pulling his sweats back into place. Niko shifts forward in the seat, shuffling Joonas forward as well.
‘Why don’t you go wash up, babe?’ Niko says, guiding Joonas up onto his feet. Joonas nods, glad of Niko’s steady hands. He’s shocked and drained and the arch of the bat as Aleksi swings keeps flickering behind his eyelids. Joonas stumbles out of the room as Niko chatters to the screen. Joonas puts his hand to his neck to scratch at whatever’s itching him and his fingertips come away red. And suddenly it’s too much. Barely manages to get the bathroom locked behind him before he’s empty his stomach into the sink.