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Kuroo has long come to terms with the fact that he fell for Kenma first. He can still remember the day clearly.
It had been the day they had finally managed to pull off a difficult play after hours of unsuccessfully trying. Kenma had started complaining about feeling tired more than three sets ago.
But he had continued nonetheless - time and time again once Kuroo asked. The sun was already setting, coloring their volleyball court in orange, turning the grass into sepia. They had to go home soon and Kuroo himself was close to giving up soon.
“One more time,” he had begged and even though Kenma was giving him one of his renowned disgusted faces, he had complied. And at that time, they made it.
The smack of a palm hitting the ball, even though it was not yet as loud as it would be years later, was the most satisfying sound Kuroo had ever heard. Almost not believing what had happened, Kuroo had turned to Kenma.
And what he saw took his breath away. Kenma was smiling. Brightly. His eyes crinkled and he looked unspeakably proud. Kuroo still remembers that exact moment years later, more than a decade later even.
It was the exact moment it all became clear.
“I really like him.” The thought spoke to him in a childish way that did not quite understand love yet. He would, though, soon enough.
He finally understood his feelings during his third year in high school, after the game against Karasuno. When Kenma had looked up at him, exhausted but smiling. Thanking him for the time they spent together. Kuroo realized that he would do anything for Kenma.
“I really love him.” The thought spoke to him clearly, ringing in his head like it was sure to change his life. In a sense it did while in the same sense it didn’t. It just all made sense now.
So, Kuroo had been sure he fell for Kenma first, over ten years ago. It barely mattered anoymore, though. Now, when he had Kenma in his arms, idly playing whit his slender fingers. That didn’t mean he wasn’t interested, however.
“When did you fall for me?” he asks now, staring at their entwined fingers.
Kenma only hums and turns his palm so he is free to tap a slow rhythm against Kuroo’s wrist. “I never told you, did I?”
They are currently spread underneath Kenma’s kotatsu. It’s not far into the new year. It was the fourth new year - and Christmas - they had spent together.
“You didn’t,” Kuroo agrees, pulling Kenma closer to his chest in anticipation.
“It was so long ago,” Kenma mutters, revealing absolutely nothing at all. He is not even looking at Kuroo, instead staring out of the window. A smile is playing on his lips.
Kuroo huffs. “You tell me.”
“The time ist hard to pinpoint.” Kenma continues evading the topic.
With the arm Kuroo had wrapped around Kenma, Kuroo gives him a forceless pinch to his side. “Just humor me.”
Kuroo isn’t whining, but it’s a close call.
With a soft hump, Kenma leans back further into Kuroo’s chest. Then, after another prolonged moment of silence, he finally speaks up. “If I would have to settle on a time, probably the day you first dragged me out to play volleyball.”
Kuroo’s breath stocks, he feels breathless. “What?”
“You heard me,” Kenma murs, defensive and still avoiding Kuroo’s gaze.
Kuroo has trouble catching up.
“I - yes, I did, but -” Kuroo’s thoughts are racing but he is unable to grasp any of them. He is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open but he can’t seem to control the muscles in his face anymore.
“But what?” If Kuroo did not know Kenma better, he would have thought him to be annoyed. Considering that Kuroo knows Kenma better than anyone else, however, he hears his concealed embarrassment.
It spurs Kuroo’s mouth into action even if he does not know what he is intending to say himself. “I always thought -”
Now, Kenma’s tone assumes an annoyed tinge. Kuroo’s heart soars. He loves Kenma like this, somewhat fed up with Kuroo’s incoherent ramblings. “Thought what? Kuro, how come you can’t finish sentences anymore?”
Instead of answering, Kuroo lets go of Kenma, pushes him away to make some space so that he can face him. A giddy smile is spreading on his face. It’s impossible to control his expression and he is dead sure his voice was tinted in the purest elation.
Bright as if he had just won a priceless reward, he explodes. “It was you! You fell for me first!”
Kenma hits him in response but does not deny it.