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They never fought this bad ever since they became together. Ngayon lang. Iwaizumi knows it’s his fault for forgetting their anniversary and he will not make any excuses for that. And like adding more salt to the wound of being a negligent boyfriend to Oikawa, he forgot to charge his phone too on his way to work kaya no’ng mag-text ito na magpapasundo galing sa opisina nito, he didn’t know. He didn’t receive the text.
Umuwi itong parang basang sisiw sa bahay nila. And no. Not in their shared apartment—not in where they considered their own home—Oikawa has gone home with his parents. For the first time since many years after they chose to live in together.
That’s why Iwaizumi knows he fucked up. Big time.
It’s been three days, Tooru is still not answering to his texts nor picking up his phone calls. Iwa’s just very thankful for his parents because they are the ones answering him whenever he checks up on their son. They said he just needs to give him more time. Give him enough space to think and so he could forgive Iwa, too. He has the right to be upset. That Iwaizumi knows. But he won’t deny the fact that he misses him so much. He isn’t sleeping on their bed and resorts on the couch because it feels too big and it makes him feel alone. Oikawa’s a very clingy one and an octopus hugger whenever they sleep, and Iwa might act annoyed by it but he loves Tooru who clings to him. Who makes him feel warm. Who makes him feel loved.
Hajime might not be showy enough but he loves Tooru. A lot. More than his own. And he’s so, so afraid that there might come a day Oikawa would wake up and soon realize how he deserves so much more that Iwa can’t give. He’s afraid Oikawa would leave and he won’t know how to survive it.
And frankly, he doesn’t know if he really could.
On the sixth day of having no Oikawa around, Iwaizumi’s already on the brink of losing his damn mind. His co-workers have seen him chug up his seventh coffee for the day and it’s just 11 in the morning. Bago pa siya makapunta ulit ng pantry para makapagtimpla ulit ng kape, hinarang na siya ni Kuroo at pinaupo sa cubicle niya.
“Okay, you will either tell me what’s wrong or I’ll make you go home for the day and rest.”
Iwaizumi glared at the guy. Sometimes. Just sometimes, he hates the fact that he is friends with his supervisor.
“Nothing. I just didn’t get enough sleep. Need coffee to function.” Of course, Kuroo won’t buy that reason. He is friends with Oikawa too for heaven’s sake.
Kuroo taps his shoulder lightly like a way of consoling, “Remember the way you sang to Oikawa back in high school no’ng foundation day, that made him finally give you his yes?” He starts to say and Iwaizumi lifts his head to listen to him. “Maybe you just need to relive some sparks and earn him all over again?”
“Oikawa loves you, dude. He’s just mad and upset. But he still loves you. You just have to make him remember why.”
And Hajime never wanted to pull the hands of the clock to make it 7 pm already and sprint the way out of the building more than now. Iwaizumi never wanted to go this badly to show Tooru how much he loves him and that would never change. Iwaizumi might forget the important dates in their lives from time to time, he might not always get to pick up his calls and answer his texts, but he would never forget that he loves Oikawa the most. Loves him so much. Loves him regardless of the fights and quarrels. And even in silence, Iwaizumi pledges he loves him just as much.
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Oikawa knows he's being unfair to Iwa for not replying to his texts or calls, but still—he feels entitled to what he's feeling too because he feels as if Iwa has been neglecting him from the past few weeks. They've been together for almost eight years. He can't help but fear Iwa might be getting tired of him already. That maybe the only reason why he's staying in their relationship is because of the years they've spent together.
He heaves a sigh and feels his eyes getting prickly. Naramdaman niya lang na umiiyak na pala siya no'ng nakita niyang may basang parte sa unan na yakap niya. Ayaw niya ng ganito sila. Ng ganito siya. He has always felt secured whenever he's with Iwa, but now, he doesn't know if it's still the case with him.
He's so terrified to know what the outcome of this fight might be they're having.
Would Iwa say he's getting tired already? Would he say he doesn't love Tooru anymore? Would he break up with him?
And what would Tooru say? That it's fine? That it's okay? That he would let Iwa go because he loves him and that he doesn't want him to be tied in a relationship he doesn't want anymore? That it would eventually be fine on his part or at least he'll try to be? Because he has to?
"Nak? Tooru?" his mother calls him before opening his door Tooru just covered himself inside his blanket. He doesn't want her to see how pathetic he is for crying for a week now.
The bed shifts and he feels her tap his legs but he still doesn't move.
"Iwa's outside. He said you don't have to face him if you're still mad, but he wants you to at least listen to him? Okay lang daw ba?"
He peeks slightly to answer his mother by nodding and she sighs from concern bago lumapit nang kaunti para punasan ang luha niya. "It's going to be okay, 'nak. Maaayos n'yo rin 'yan."
She ruffles his hair and smiles before finally leaving.
He sniffs and wipes his tears. He can't even fake a smile so he just nods as an answer to her.
Oikawa waits for Iwaizumi to go to his room. Nagtaklob ulit siya ng kumot para hindi siya nito makitang umiiyak. If he's going to break his heart tonight, he doesn't have to see him pathetically crying because of it, too.
A faint sound of strumming of the guitar is what he hears coming from the outside though.
/"Labis na naiinip,
nayayamot sa bawat saglit."/
He gulps.
It's Iwaizumi's voice singing. His heart skips a beat, but he doesn't get up from the bed for a while, still registering in his mind what was happening right now in front of their house.
/"Kapag naaalala ka,
wala naman akong magawa."/
Tears start to flow again from his eyes making his blanket and pillow dampen. He grips it tighter as he breathes to take in some air in his lungs. He realizes he has been holding his breath for a while.
/"Umuwi ka na, baby,
hindi na ako sanay nang wala ka.
Mahirap ang mag-isa.
At sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita."/
Iwaizumi misses a few chords but he continues to strum along his guitar, continues singing while looking up where Oikawa's room is. His voice falters.
Madilim pa rin sa loob ng kwarto nito. Nakasarado pa rin ang kurtina. Hindi pa rin siya sinisilip.
/"Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay na makasama kang muli sa buhay kong puno ng paghihirap?"/
In his mind he pleads, 'Please, Tooru. Please hear me out. I can live without you but I don't want to. I don't want to live without you here by my side, Tooru. Please come outside.'
/"At tanging ikaw lang ang pumapawi sa mga luha at naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi."/
'I miss seeing you. I want to see you smile again. I hate seeing you cry. Mas ayokong makita kang nasasaktan dahil sa'kin. Tooru, please. Baby, please come outside and meet me here. Please.’
He bites his lower lip nang naramdaman niyang may tumutulong luha sa mata niya at natutuluan ang braso niya. He doesn't stop strumming. He doesn't stop singing. He can't remember the lyrics nor the right chords anymore but he wants the song to reach Oikawa. At kahit pumipiyok na siya sa ilang mga stanza, hindi pa rin siya tumigil. Kahit nagtitinginan na 'yong ilang kapit-bahay nila Tooru sa kaniya hindi siya tumigil. Kahit binibigyan na siya ng mga magulang nito ng tingin na parang nagsasabi na "Sorry, Haj. Maybe he still isn't ready na harapin ka. I'm sorry, we'll talk to him, don't worry too much."
/"Umuwi ka na, baby,
umuwi ka na, baby,
umuwi ka na, b-baby,
umu-wi ka n-na, baby..."/
He finishes the song and cries silently while still looking up waiting for Tooru to switch the light on. To open his curtains. To see him again.
"Tooru... Baby. Please come home. I miss you... I miss you so much. Please come home to me, Tooru..." He shouts defeatedly as he squats lowly on the ground, letting the tears fall on the floor. For a while, he lets himself just sit there in front of Oikawa’s home, his feet are already feeling numb but he doesn’t mind it.
He hears footsteps running but before he could look up to see who it was, he's already beeing embraced by Oikawa. The familiar scent and warmth enveloping him. He falls seated on the ground but he didn't mind the dirty floor, he didn't mind the guitar he's holding falling on it, too. Not when Tooru's finally here again. Near. Close. Hugging him back. Iwa holds his body tightly and rests his head on the crook on his shoulder, sniffing on the sweet scent Oikawa owns.
"Iwa... baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry," Tooru keeps on whispering and Iwaizumi just shushes them all, caressing his back with his thumb to comfort Tooru.
"I'm sorry too. For not remembering our anniversary—"
"No, bumawi ka naman agad no'n kinabukasan e—"
"And for not picking up your calls, I was wrong. Umuulan non, you need me and I didn't—"
"Mom already explained it to me na hindi mo lang talaga na-charge 'yong phone mo no'n and hindi mo sinasadyang 'di ako masagot. I'm sorry for being immature. I should have let you explain first."
"But Tooru, I know I've made you feel neglected, and I'm really sorry for that. Babawi ako, baby. Please? Let me?"
Niluwagan ni Tooru ang yakap niya para matitigan si Iwa, he's still crying like him. Pinunasan lang ni Iwa 'yong pisngi niya at ngumiti nang magaan.
He slowly nods, "Okay... okay... I'll make it up to you, too."
Iwa hums before carefully closing the distance of their faces and kisses him fervently on the lips.
Tooru comes in tears again and their both tasting the salty tears but no one dares to stop. Like they are letting the kiss tell them how they miss each other. Like it's the only language they know that could convey how they feel.
"I love you," Iwa reaches for his eyes and kisses the tears away. "I love you," his forehead. "I love you," his nose. "I love you," his lips again.
He stops again and stares at Tooru whose eyes are hooded and cheeks red.
"I love you so much, Tooru, please never forget that."
Tooru answers by pulling his face with both of his hands to kiss him hard again. And this time, they both find themselves smiling from the kiss. “I love you, too.”
"Will you go home with me?" Iwa asks when they've both finally calm down. Eyes still pleading.
Tooru doesn't move from clinging on his arms and just looks up, kissing the corner of Iwa's jaw. He smiles because he sees Iwa reddens from the act.
"Uuwi na sa'yo, baby."