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Keith glared up at the familiar sign and the tents beyond it. Vrepit Sa Karnival , just like it had been all those years ago. Just like he saw in every nightmare. The tents were even spread out in exactly the same formation. He could see the lion tamer showing off nearby and the clowns weren’t that much further. That was the tent he stared at for longer, his teeth clenched and his breathing laboured as he fought to keep control of his fury.
All those years ago he had attended this very same carnival and had lost something very important to him.
His parents were quite well off, especially compared to his childhood best friend. When he had invited Lance to the carnival, he had been ecstatic. Lance’s parents hadn’t been able to afford the tickets, nor had they won any of the competitions that had been held. Keith had been happy, too, his best friend’s smile the brightest thing he had ever seen.
They had meandered through the tents and went to the big top. Both he and Lance had been captivated by the acts, all of them awe-inspiring - even if the participants all wore various types of masks to hide their faces. There had been animals and strongmen, acrobats and clowns, magic and wonder. Afterwards, they had wandered through the tents, meeting the performers and being given balloon animals.
While Keith’s parents spoke to their neighbours, Lance had turned to Keith with a wide grin. “This is so cool!” he had said, enthusiasm leaking from him.
Keith had smiled indulgently and replied, “Yeah!”
“Do you think we could try on some clown shoes?” Lance had said next, looking over at one of the tents. A clown had just exited and was on their way elsewhere. “I wanna walk and squeak.”
“I dunno…”
“Aw, come on, Keith! Don't be a ’fraidy cat!”
And so they had slipped away from Keith’s parents and made their way to the tent. Once they had reached it, Keith had hesitated once again. “What if we get caught?” he had asked his friend.
“We won’t,” Lance had promised. “Come on!” And, without waiting for Keith, he had slipped into the tent.
Keith had hesitated and glanced back at his parents. It was the biggest mistake of his life. In that split second, his world had crumbled and he didn’t know until he had darted into the tent.
The space had been filled with chests and cupboards, full to the brim with colourful clothing and toys and balloons. A dressing table with several masks had sat beside a small, squashed row of rickety beds. All of the beds had had thin mattresses and threadbare blankets. Lance was nowhere in sight.
He had searched high and low before rushing from the tent. When he had told his parents, they had been both disappointed and frightened. The police were eventually called. They searched and searched and found nothing. They asked Keith again and again what had happened. They questioned the large, burly ringmaster and the smaller, scarier ringmistress. Neither of them knew where he was and Lance was lost to them all.
But Keith knew that the circus had been lying. He knew there was something strange and ethereal about it. And now he had finally, finally found the thing again.
Keeping his eyes peeled, Keith stepped into the carnival. A shiver ran down his spine. It was quieter than he had been expecting. Less people attending a circus on a Monday night, he figured. Some of the performers watched him pass and he peered at them in turn. He was twenty-one now; Lance would be grown and could be any of them.
However, after a few minutes of wandering through the tents, Keith realised he had no clue where to start looking for the traces Lance might have left. The clown's tent was occupied and there were too many people around to crawl in through the back. All of the performers wore masks, just as he remembered; some only covered their eyes while others had their entire faces obscured. It made them look eerie and Keith scrunched up his nose at the disturbing feeling. Instead of interacting with any of them, Keith meandered with the crowd until he was standing in front of the big top. He stared up at it for a moment before he slipped inside.
Not long after he had found a seat, the show started. Keith watched closely and soon realised something that his younger self couldn’t grasp. While the masks covered their faces, it couldn't hide their body language. All of their bodies were tense. Every one of them would look nervously at the ringmaster as they stepped out.
Everything reeked of fear.
Anger surged through Keith. Before he could do anything rash, the smaller ringmistress moved forward. She looked just as she had all those years ago, as if she hadn’t aged. Keith glowered at her, wishing he had the power to set fire to her clothes with a look alone. Instead, she twirled her strange staff and thumped it on the ground.
“Look up, look up!” she called to the audience, using the staff to point into the heavens. “Here come the acrobats, come to defy gravity for your pleasure!”
Keith stilled as he recalled the light in Lance’s eyes when he saw them, all those years ago. The way he had been on the edge of his seat. His cheery voice as it exclaimed, “I wanna fly, too!” He found his gaze drawn upwards, stuck in place, as his heart hammered in his chest.
Could it be…?
Two acrobats were lowered on rings, swinging to and fro. Neither of them had the right colour of hair to be Lance and their faces were completely covered. Keith’s heart sank for just a moment before a length of blue ribbon came tumbling from the rafters. It danced to and fro for a few moments before, suddenly, someone tumbled after it. Breath caught in his throat, Keith almost stood up in alarm before the person managed to catch themselves, their arms beneath them and their legs stretched to a point.
Slowly, the person spun until their face was directed at Keith. Their eyes and nose were covered by a white mask with smudged blue over the edges to match their blue leotard. Glitter reflected the light until it glimmered. They had artfully dishevelled, brown hair which curled around their ears in a familiar way. Lips stretched in a fake smile, one that Keith had seen countless times when he had claimed to be fine with his family’s lack of money. And those blue eyes, despite the distance between them, seemed to pierce Keith’s heart. He gasped.
In the air, Lance twirled and tangled his legs in the ribbon, his flexibility evident as he let go of the ribbon with his hands.
Keith’s breath became laboured, his eyes glued to Lance as he demonstrated his talents. Even if Lance seemed to be stuck in this place, his talent was evident. Strength in both his arms and legs. Flexible, able to do the splits in midair. Not to mention his rhythm which matched the music being pumped through the speakers. It was an ethereal sight and Keith could only sit there and let it happen, powerless to drag Lance home.
After an eternity, the beautiful, elegant routine came to an end. Lance ended by rolling down to the ground and stopped himself before he hit it. He flipped over, landing delicately on the balls of his feet, before he flipped himself away from the ribbon. Then he turned to the crowd and bowed.
That was when Keith was shaken from his enchantment. Lance’s shoulders were tense, his face turned slightly to the ringmaster who was approaching from the side. When the ringmaster nodded, Lance straightened and his shoulders dropped, as if he could relax now that he’d had that acknowledgement. Fury tore through Keith and he leapt to his feet. As Lance exited the back of the tent, Keith hurried to the front, hoping to follow him to his own tent once he’d managed to run around the side.
Thankfully, he spotted Lance immediately. There were others walking with him, but none of them seemed to be speaking. Not even Lance, which was just wrong. Keith remembered his constant chatter to fill the silences he was unused to with his big family. Gritting his teeth, Keith kept to the shadows and stealthily followed them - stepping over ropes and detritus as he went - until the group split up into separate tents. Luckily for Keith, Lance entered his alone.
Unable to wait any longer, Keith darted in after him. He held his breath as he moved, wondering if he’d enter to find him gone once again. Hope and dread fought for his attention in equal measure but he ignored them. The tent flap moved and then settled behind him.
Inside, the tent was much the same as the clowns’ from years ago. There were no toys. There was only one tiny bed. There were no extra masks. There was only Lance, turning towards him in surprise.
Those blue eyes widened when he saw Keith, who stood there, panting, unable to believe his luck. “Keith?” Lance whispered, his voice almost trembling.
“Lance!” Keith said. He took a deep breath and pushed aside his emotions. Those could be dealt with later. Right now, he needed to get Lance out of here. “Come on!”
“What?”
Keith held out his hand. “I'm getting you out of here!”
That only seemed to make Lance panic. “No. No, you can't be here!” He stepped forward and began pushing at Keith. “You need to go. If they find you here…”
Since Lance was only half-heartedly pushing at him, Keith planted his feet and grabbed at Lance’s elbows. He peered through the mask, searching Lance’s eyes. There was no joy there, only exhaustion, fear and sadness. Again, anger coursed through Keith. “Come on,” he snapped. “Take off the mask and let’s go home!”
Lance went still. “Home…” he whispered, his eyes distant. “I… I can’t.”
“What do you mean?” Keith demanded. “We just need to be- to be sneaky, and then-”
“No, I can’t, Keith.” Lance grimaced and pulled away from him. “The mask… It keeps me here. I can’t get out - I’ve tried. But you need to leave.” Lance pointed at the tent flap. “If they find you in a tent, they’ll make you into a performer - whether you want to or not.”
“‘Whether you want to…’” Keith stared at Lance in horror. “Wait. Did you want this?”
“I didn’t want this,” Lance snapped. He paused and took a deep breath. “I wanted…” Shaking his head, Lance stepped forward to grab Keith’s wrist and tug him towards the other side of the tent. “Never mind that. Come on. You need to get out of here!”
Keith resisted him and planted his feet once more. “No. Not until you agree to come with me.”
Lance turned, his eyes shining in the gloom. Keith realised that he was holding back tears, his lips trembling. Breath caught once more, Keith stepped close, his eyes searching Lance’s. “I can’t,” Lance whispered again. “The masks… They’re magic. Magic is real, Keith. It’s real and it’s… horrible. The different masks…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t.”
“Tell me,” Keith demanded, his heart aching.
“They take… something from us,” Lance explained, his words slow. “Whatever it is, it takes us out of the world or something. And it keeps them alive.”
“The ringmasters?” Keith demanded through clenched teeth.
“And others,” Lance confirmed, nodding. “I- They take everything from us and then… they get new people in.”
“Then we need to get you out of here-”
“Keith, I-”
“No,” snapped Keith. He stepped even closer, cupped Lance’s cheeks with careful hands and pulled his head down. With their foreheads resting together, he looked into Lance’s eyes, hoping he could see his sincerity. “No. I lost you once already. I can’t lose you again. I can’t . I don’t know what I’d do without you. Just the chance of finding you again has kept me going. Knowing where you are and leaving you behind…” Keith shook his head, his nose brushing the mask. “I can’t do that, and I won’t. I know how to get you out of here, Lance, you just need to come with me.”
“The magic,” Lance whispered, staring at Keith. His eyes were mesmerising.
“We can beat it. Together,” Keith insisted.
A sudden, loud snap had them pulling apart. “What?” Lance gasped. “What’s happen-?” He stopped when he noticed Keith’s shock.
In the centre of the mask, from top to bottom, was a deep crack.
Lance lifted a hesitant hand and pressed his fingertips to it. With another, sharp noise, the mask completely broke apart. “What? Why…?” He looked up at Keith, his full, beautiful face on display.
“Never mind why,” said Keith, seizing his chance. “Let’s go!” He grabbed hold of Lance’s wrist and began to pull him towards the entrance.
“Wait!” exclaimed Lance, even as he stumbled along after Keith. “We should sneak out-”
But Keith was desperate to get his friend as far away from this place as possible. He was faster than Lance’s words and they emerged from the tent quickly. Lance gasped as they exited, and Keith wondered if things looked a little different for him now. It definitely looked different from where Keith was standing. The bright colours had bled out of the surroundings, leaving them drained and ominous. Above them, the sky was darker than before, the stars blocked out by storm clouds.
And, standing right in front of them, was the smaller of the two ringmasters.
“Honerva!” Lance cried out. Keith could feel how tense he was beside him.
“Hello, boys,” said Honerva. “I'm afraid that neither of you will be going anywhere…”