Archive of Our Own

“Home isn't where you're from,
it's where you find light when all grows dark.”
- Pierce Brown, Golden Son

“Patterson, I know we’ve been friends since we were kids, but this is starting to look a lot like one of those movies where the serial killer brings the girl to a secluded place and murders them,” Julie says with feigned seriousness, turning to look at the boy beside her in the drivers’ seat.

They’ve been driving for almost an hour now, headed North-East through the winding roads of their small town, taking the scenic route to whatever Luke’s got planned for them. Not that Julie knows whether or not it’s the scenic route or the actual route because he’d refused to give any sort of details for their weekend trip. 

She knows it’s partially her fault that Luke’s being secretive about the plans, wanting to make every second count because it’s her first time back home since she flew halfway across the country for college. As Julie’s Certified Best-Friend-Forever-No-Exchanges-Or-Refunds (they were five when they came up with the official title and she’s got a poorly laminated hand drawn card to prove it), Luke had somehow guilt-tripped her into spending a couple days away with him, talking about how he needed to recharge his “Julie batteries'' before she left for school again. Then he’d given her his sad puppy face, all wide eyes and lip quivering filling the screen on her phone, and she’d caved immediately in a burst of giggles, pushing away the impending deadlines and piles of pre-course work under a metaphorical bed. 

The blinding smile on Luke’s face when she finally said yes had been worth it, and if she was being honest, she was looking forward to finally getting to be in the same room as him. 

And it’s not because she hasn’t had the chance to make a trip back home, there have been plenty of opportunities— her Dad has offered to pay for a flight many times during her breaks, and Reggie keeps telling her that the boys have a little bit saved from their gigs and side jobs, but it’s not really about the money, and she knows they know that. Because it was after her mom died that the 4,000 person population count of her hometown started to make her feel a little too claustrophobic, like she could only be “Rose’s daughter” and nothing else.

In the year after her mother’s death, she couldn’t go anywhere in town without something or someone knowing her story and giving her That look that she had learned to hate. The ones that were filled with too much sympathy that say I’m sorry hun, she was a wonderful person or this must be so hard for you, and they’d walk away, returning back to their regular lives and leaving Julie with a bigger hole in her heart. 

She’d eventually learn to avoid those looks, ducking her head as people passed, pulling her cap down to cover her face. A person is easy to ignore, but a building sitting along the only route to her destination? Not so much in a small town like hers. Even in death, Rose Molina’s presence still shone brightly on every surface.

Julie remembers passing by the community centre every day on her way to school, the dahlias that her mom had planted along the front step years ago, blooming in late summer. She’d run the petals of the flowers between her fingers, fighting back tears and imagining for a moment that it’s the comforting hands of her mom. Marigold, the volunteer director, would usually pull up around this time, give Julie’s shoulders a squeeze with a sad smile and Julie would put on a brave face and continue on her way. 

There’s the record store on main street, the one where Julie had bought her first vinyl at 8 years old. She’d asked her mom if she could bring Luke with her, and the three of them had spent the morning running down the aisles and rifling through all the used vinyls, eventually landing on a tattered copy of ABBA’s 1992 album GOLD. But now all Julie sees are the yellowing flyers for her mom’s piano lessons decorating the window, faded and dull in between brightly coloured posters with bold fonts. 

When she goes down to the pier to clear her head, she’d take the longer route that wraps around the buildings, stopping to say hi to Basil, the owner of the hot dog stand, even if it takes an extra ten minutes. It means she can avoid the bench that sits at the end of the dock, a plaque welded permanently onto the back that shines too brightly under the sun that starts with IN MEMORY OF.

So she hasn’t been back in her hometown since then, telling herself that it’s not because of her grief, but because she wants to see if she can find home outside narrow two-lane roads and a one stoplight town.

The boy beside her laughs, bringing her back to the present, and she catches him rolling his eyes before he faces the road again. “Jules, your dad knows literally everyone in town, I don’t think I could get away with murder. He’d figure me out in an instant.”

She hums in agreement, a smile tugging at her lips as she imagines Luke stumbling through his alibi and waving his arms wildly like he usually does when he’s trying to convince someone that he and the boys are old enough to play a venue. “Don’t forget that you’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m not— okay yeah I’m a horrible liar,” he concedes when Julie throws him a look. “And besides, why would I even kill you? Who else would be able to read my handwriting and be my songwriting partner?”

“You could always help Reggie finish his country songs,” she teases back and laughs when he hears him groan, “C’mon they’re not that bad Luke. I think Home is Where My Horse Is could be Sunset Curve’s next big hit.”

"Don’t you dare give him any ideas, Molina. After your Dad gave him the banjo for his birthday, he’s been trying to play all the bass parts of our songs with it.” He pauses for a moment, face getting serious as he looks over at her again, “You know I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you right?” 

And that’s the thing. Julie does know that. It’s one of the perks of knowing someone your whole life because it means you’ve seen the good and the bad parts of each other, and yet you choose to stick with them anyway. Luke’s always been there for all the things that life’s thrown her way. From her public blowout with Carrie to the dates where she got stood up to the disappointment of not getting into her dream school to the aftermath of her mother’s death; Luke’s always been there to help pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and put them back together again and again without asking for anything in return. 

So she smiles back, at the charismatic boy she’s known her whole life, and responds, “I know, Luke. I know.”

They fall back into quiet conversation for the rest of the drive, occasionally breaking out into a karaoke session when a song pops up on Luke’s extremely Julie-catered playlist that makes her gasp in recognition when she hears the opening chords. It’s a playlist unsubtly titled Welcome home, Julie. Please don’t leave me with the boys again. that he’d excitedly shown to her as soon as she stepped into his car this morning, talking animatedly about how it’s his best playlist he’s made for her yet. It’s a mix of both their favourite songs, a little bit of pop and a lot of rock and the couple of country songs that Reggie had somehow managed to sneak in when Luke wasn’t looking. If she felt her heart do a backflip at the sentiment, she played it off as merely being excited to spend the next couple of days with her best friend who she hasn’t seen in nearly two years.

And it’s not that she hasn’t kept in touch with her family and friends back home, she definitely has. Tia Victoria will ring her every week like clockwork, checking to make sure Julie’s eating real food and trying to convince her to take an online pilates class. Her Dad will randomly call her during the day, sometimes when she’s in class, just to ask her where he left his keys or his phone (“Papi, you’re using your phone right now.”).

There have been many many drunk dials and video calls at 3am, where her roommate Flynn hasn’t been able to pry Julie’s phone away from her, and she’s seeing a blurry Alex or Reggie on a tiny screen, usually rubbing sleep from their eyes and trying very hard not to laugh as she chatters on about nothing and how she wishes they could be with her. They’ll eventually pass off the phone to Luke in the next room, and Julie will yell his name too loudly in delight and he’ll gently coax her into bed with a soft voice and a promise that he’ll stay on the phone until she falls asleep. 

Luke and her have a call at least once a week if her schedule allows for it, most of those hours spent in comfortable silence as Julie studies late into the night in her rental house in L.A., and Luke’s just come back from a late shift at the diner and he’s tip-toeing around the shared apartment with the boys, careful not to wake them up.  He’ll be scribbling new song ideas in his notebook, asking for the occasional help with a lyric or melody he’s stuck on (“What if you went a little higher on this part?” “Luke, I’m not going to be there to sing this with you!” “Ugh, why do you have to be so far away from me?”). It’s usually when she can see the sun starting to rise through Luke’s blinds that Julie will chastise him for not reminding her that it’s seven in the morning back home, and he’ll laugh and say that he doesn’t mind (“I just wanna spend time with you, Molina, and if this is how I get it, then screw my sleep schedule.”) and she’s thankful that her camera can’t catch the way her cheeks always burn at his words.

And on the days where she’s missing her mom a little bit more than normal, she’ll call up Carlos and ask him about school (“Why do we need to learn how to find metaphors in books? The world’s my stage and I’m stuck at home because my English teacher wants us to analyze whether or not the kid in the book is the black sheep of his family.”) or ask how their Dad is doing (“He burnt cereal yesterday.” “What?” “Yeah he went to heat up his coffee and put his bowl of cereal in the microwave instead. The house smells like we’ve set the Lucky Charms mascot on fire.”) and Carlos will fill her in on the latest town gossip that tia Victoria sometimes lets slip around him. She’ll find herself reclined against the headboard of her bed, laughing as she encourages her brother to give her more details until she hears him squabbling with her Dad about homework on the other end of the line, and they’ll say their goodbyes. It’s not the same as being back home, but the ache in her heart will lessen a little, just enough to keep going.

Somewhere between all the calls, her course load and working at her part-time job, Julie realized how much she was missing home and her people.

She misses the Saturday mornings, where Alex, Luke and Reggie will fill up their quiet home with laughter when they inevitably show up for Ray’s famous blueberry pancakes. She misses the way she can lose track of time writing songs in her mom’s studio, her and Luke in their own little world, only to find themselves falling asleep at 4am on the pull-out couch. She’ll wake up the next day, sun streaming in through the windows with a blanket and a warm body tucked around her. She misses watching Sunset Curve’s gigs from side-stage, feeling the vibrations through her feet and watching her best friend do what he loves, and the casual banter between them when Luke steps off stage and he tries to give her a sweaty hug.

Because it’s different when you get the story retelling of something that’s happened. It feels like you’re reading about history, and Julie, well Julie wants to be part of the history, not just watching from the sidelines and laughing or asking questions at the right moments. She wants to be a part of those memories because if there’s one thing that she’s learned since Rose passed, it’s that memories remind you of who you are and how you got to where you are.

If anything, all she’s really mastered in the past year and a half is how to fake a smile and tell everyone she’s doing okay while she says goodbye.

“ —Jules?”

She blinks, thoughts dissipating as her eyes refocus and she looks over at Luke, who’s apparently been asking her a question. “Hmmm?”

“You okay?” Luke asks, concern laced in his voice, “You spaced out there a little.” 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she gives him a tiny grin, and the furrow in his brows loosen a little, like he can tell she’s lying, but he doesn’t press. She pokes him in the shoulder, tone teasing. “You know what would make me even more okay?”

“What’s that?”

“If you told me where we’re going.”

Luke lets out a bark of laughter and a little shake of his head. “You can’t break me that easily, Molina. I promise, we’re almost there.” 

The scenery starts to change as they keep driving, the forest around them getting a little thicker as the evergreens begin to tower over the narrow roads. It’s the time of year where the first real snow has finally fallen and is sticking to the ground, blanketing everything in a thick layer of white powder. It’s so peaceful and quiet, so much different than the hustle and bustle of sunny L.A. where her school is. 

Every so often, her gaze will drift over to Luke, who’ll be tapping his fingers on the wheel, mouthing the lyrics along to the song and a warm feeling will bloom in her chest as she watches him. She knows what she’s feeling, and if she wasn’t so determined to not mess up their friendship, then she’d acknowledge that it’s the 5% of her brain going What if? , but he’s her best friend and she can’t risk losing him too. 

It’s not long before they’re turning onto an unmarked road and they’re driving through another stretch of trees covered in snow. The road’s gotten bumpier, jostling the two of them around like a roller coaster making its way to the top of the first drop and Julie’s starting to think that maybe they’re a little lost.

“Luke, are you sure—” she begins to ask, but then the treeline breaks once more and the car enters a small clearing, eyes widening at the sight in front of her. 

Tucked away in the crook of the little clearing is a tiny two-storey cabin that looks like it should belong on the cover of a fancy coffee-table architectural magazine. It’s a narrow modern-looking building, built of black wooden planks with a small set of natural wood-coloured stairs that leads up to the door. The porch is held up by pillars made of grey stone, creating a little alcove below that’s filled with piles of firewood. There’s a fire pit to the right, surrounded by colourful muskoka chairs worn down by time and the weather. A wooden toboggan sits on the edge of the property beside a half-melted snowman, and she can see the edges of a hot tub peeking out from behind the house.

“This is so beautiful,” she says as she steps out of the car, taking in her surroundings and a deep breath in, the smell of pine enveloping her. “How’d you find this place?”

“Oh, uh, you remember Ms. Harrison?” Luke’s voice replies from behind where he’s pulling out their bags from the car.

“You mean our high school music teacher Ms. Harrison? The one who retired after our senior year?”

“Yup,” he pops the p at the end of the word, hoisting the straps onto his shoulder as he shuts the trunk and closes the distance between them, “She was at the Sunset Curve gig in May, the one at the bar down at the pier? She came up to us after the show to chat and see how we’re doing. We mentioned how we were looking for an affordable studio to record our demo in and turns out, her retirement project was to build a studio in this cabin and offered to let us use it for free when it was finished. Pretty sure Reggie was going to kiss her when she said that.”

She smiles at the thought of Ms. Harrison, the teacher who students wouldn’t dare to cross, but anyone could reach out to if they needed extra help. Julie had always known the teacher had a soft spot for her students, no matter how rowdy and troublesome they were, and that apparently extended into her retirement as well.

“Anyways, when we came to check the place out during the renos, she told us that we could use it any time if we felt like we needed to get away. So I took up the offer when you told me you were coming home to visit.” He shrugs as if that’s enough of an explanation as to why the woman would let two young adults stay alone in her cabin. “I also think she may have tricked us into helping her with manual labour at some point, but we didn’t mind.”

“Did Reggie and Willie try to see if they could build anything without instructions?” she asks, remembering the time in freshman year where their school’s woodshop class had a no instructions Ikea furniture building competition, and the two boys had teamed up and gotten first place.

“Oh, 100% they did,” Luke’s shoulder shakes in silent laughter as he recalls the memory, “I think Alex went into the woods a couple of times to yell because the two of them still managed to finish their parts using nothing but logic and intuition.”

Her heart twists, the ache she always gets when someone from home tells her a story that she wasn’t a part of. You’re the one who chose to leave , she reminds herself as she shakes away the feeling.

“Wait,” she turns towards Luke, thoughts piecing together and swats his shoulder lightheartedly, “So this is what you meant when you told me you guys had found a studio for free? I genuinely thought you guys had found some hidden underground studio outside of town owned by some sketchy guy in a bar when you told me.”

“I—” Luke’s hand goes to rub the back of his neck, a bad habit he has whenever he’s nervous, looking a little sheepish, “Yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that when I called you, huh? To be fair, I had called you the second she left and we were too excited to do anything but yell. And the renos weren't finished until earlier this month, so I thought I’d just bring you here to see it firsthand since you were coming back. Maybe even help me with a couple of songs?” He gives an apologetic smile and wiggles his fingers like jazz hands, “Surprise?”

She quirks a brow up, crossing her arms over her chest. “So what you’re telling me is that your plan for my weekend to relax is going to be spent recording music for your demo?”

“Oh! Uh— I— No, that’s not—”

Luke’s cheeks are rapidly growing more pink as he stumbles through his words, and it’s endearing to watch him try to correct himself. Julie takes pity on him. ‘I’m kidding, Luke!” She breaks her stance to nudge the guitarist’s arm with her shoulder, “You know I’d love to help you with band stuff, how else am I going to retire early with those ninety-eight cent royalty cheques when you make it big?”

Luke’s shoulders visibly loosen as he lets out an exhale, “Geez, Molina, did you get meaner while you were away?”

“Only because I know you need to be knocked down a peg when it comes to your music, Patterson.” 

“That’s fair,” his mouth twists into a grimace, “Am I really that bad? Do I annoy everyone with how much I talk about the band?”

“I think,” she starts, pressing her lips together as she thinks, “I think you’re just passionate. And people get scared when they see someone know exactly what they want and how they’re going to get it. You’ve always just wanted to make a connection with people through your music, so of course you’re going to talk about it way too much, but that’s what I love about you, even if you do get a little intense.”

“Oh.” Luke hesitates and Julie bites her lip, thinking that she’s maybe said too much when she feels his arm nudge her shoulder. “Thanks, Molina. This is why I keep you around.” He pauses again, letting out a breath, “I’ve missed you.”

Julie tilts her head up and she’s met with hazel-green eyes filled with tenderness, her heart skipping a beat as she gives him a small smile. She nudges him back. “I’ve missed you too, y'know. And besides, I think we’d be writing even if we weren’t alone together in a cabin in the woods.”

They stand there for a moment too long, Luke smiling too wide at her and her still leaning into him as the quiet settles around them like a fresh snowfall, clouds of condensation swirling in the air as they exhale, and there’s a jittery feeling in the air that she can’t quite put a finger on.

Luke breaks the silence first, pulling away from her as he walks backwards towards the cabin, arms outstretched. “C’mon, let me give you the tour.” 

The inside of the cabin is a little mix of both modern and traditional designs. The walls and flooring are still made of the natural-coloured wood that she saw on the steps, but the furniture has been updated - it’s all white marble countertops, gold details and black accents. The living room and kitchen are more or less one room, split by an island and tall potted plants with insanely high ceilings. 

There’s a spiraling staircase that starts at the edge of the kitchen and disappears into the second floor, where there’s two bedrooms, each with a king-sized bed, and a full-sized bathroom to share. If she didn’t already know that they were staying here for free, she’d think that Luke had sold his soul to some touring band just to be able to afford it. 

Everything feels grand, like a hotel in a big city with bright lights that you only stay in for a couple of nights, and yet, it also feels like a permanent stay — a home to make memories and maybe even fall in love.

Luke lets her settle in the room furthest from the stairs, telling her she should put on something warm, and heads back downstairs to grab the rest of the things from the car. 

The room she’s in has the same colour palette as the rest of the small home, but it feels comfier, less like a hotel. She lets her eyes wander over the two walls covered from floor to ceiling with rows and rows of books, taking in some of the titles — there are books about music theory, plants and birds native to the area, a copy of Self-build and Renovation for Dummies that’s heavily creased along the spine and even some cheesy romance novels. And as she’s turning to get her bag from the floor, a reflection from the far corner of the room catches her attention. Julie steps closer, curiosity getting the best of her, to find polaroids sticking out between two yearbooks and she gently pulls them out. 

A smile blooms across her face when she recognizes the photo she took from her senior year, a blurry and poorly lit shot of Alex, Luke, Reggie and Ms. Harrison standing in their school gymnasium, a congratulations banner hanging overhead. The boys had won the state-wide battle of the bands that year, and she remembers how the band had spent the better part of their year practicing in Ms. Harrison’s music room and how she’d helped them perfect their songs. When they presented the signed polaroid to her, Reggie had joked about how she could sell it as a vintage item when Sunset Curve became a household name and though the older woman had rolled her eyes, there was also fondness. 

She flips through the rest of the photos, all depicting some version of Ms. Harrison throughout her many years of teaching, standing alongside her students with a smile filled with pride. Julie doesn’t recognize many of them, but then her hands still around the one where it’s just the teacher with another younger girl who has curls spilling around a face that looks just like Julie’s, a purple electric guitar in the air, mid-raise. 

There’s a purple-foiled butterfly sticker stuck below and Julie’s breath catches when she sees her mother’s name signed along the bottom. Tears prick at her eyes as she runs a finger over the film, and for a moment it’s heavy and painful, like she’s in a cartoon, walking down the sidewalk waiting for the piano to drop on her at any moment and shattering the world she knows.

And maybe it’s because she’s been spending the past couple of weeks getting reacquainted with waking up to her Dad humming her mother’s favourite song or having Carlos burst into her room asking if she can play a round of Mario Kart with him. 

Or maybe it’s the people in this town, like Marigold or Basil who, when Ray had let slip that Julie was back in town, had found time out of their day to stop by the house and catch up, bringing with them a bouquet of dahlias and hot dogs with way too much mustard.

But when she’s blinking away the tears and seeing her mom smiling back at her, the feeling changes into something different — she’s not waiting for the piano to shatter anymore because it’s sitting intact, in front of her, and the keys are playing a melody that sounds a lot like wake up, you’re home .

It’s not a eureka moment exactly, her feeling this sense of peace wash over her, but Julie’s spent so long ignoring the signs of the growing wildfire that’s been slowly burning away at the edges of her heart, that this feels like a push from her mom, for her to reach her hand into the blaze and grasp onto this single spark with her bare hands and use it to relight her path, even if it’ll give her scars. 

With a final glance at her mom’s bright smile, she sets the polaroids back on the shelf, making a mental note to show them to Luke later and ask him for Ms. Harrison’s number. 

Grabbing a brush from her bag, she runs it through her curls a couple of times and freshens up in the bathroom before rifling through the clothes to find something warm to wear. While Luke may have kept most of their itinerary a secret, he did kind of let her know what to pack ahead of time (“Comfortable, but warm?” “Is that a question or a statement, Patterson.” “I—uh—, both?” “Luke!” “Just pack whatever you like, Jules! I’ll bring some extra stuff for you in case.”), but as she’s pulling out item after item, she’s suddenly unsure of every piece of clothing she has.

Should she dress cute? Sensible? Somewhere in between? Does it even matter if her jacket’s going to end up covering it all? She feels silly, worrying about her outfit when she knows that Luke’s seen her look her worst —  from the matching bright pink Halloween costume she wore in sixth grade with Carrie to the nights she’s frantically studying for an exam, her hair up in a messy bun and eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep as she picks up a call from him.

“It’s just Luke,” she mutters to herself, shaking the sudden nerves that seem to have creeped in. Settling on a pair of thick leggings, a loose-fitting knit sweater and some thermal socks, she takes one last look in the mirror and walks out into the hallway before she has a chance to change her mind. 

As she makes her way down, a soft smile pulls at her lips when she hears Luke humming softly to himself, zippers and drawers opening and shutting like a symphony. Something about the way the brunette is pulling out groceries from the coolers and putting them away makes her stop and stare as she rounds the last turn of the staircase. His shoulders moving in-tune to whatever he’s humming, and there’s a tugging at the base of her heart as she watches him shuffle around in the tiny space— it’s a little bit of yearning for the domesticity put on display, and a heavy dose of affection that Luke has been planning this weekend just for her. 

“Hey.” 

Her voice carries into the kitchen, and Luke spins on the spot, eyes lighting up, tracing the curves of her body, when he sees her. “Hey! You ready?”

She nods, sliding into one of the barstools, putting her chin in her hand. “Whatcha got planned for us, rockstar?”

“Well…”

They spend the day following a loose schedule of hiking the trails behind the cabin, eating the sandwiches that Luke had prepared earlier, by a waterfall that’s not yet frozen over, taking silly photos on their phones, and coming back into the warmth of the cabin to play board games not meant for two people. Her cheeks hurt from all the laughter and the hole in her heart that was empty in L.A. starts to slowly fill up again. Julie’s starting to wonder why she didn’t come home sooner.

After Luke cooks them dinner (“You prepared all this?” “Welllll… I had a little help from your Aunt. Still not sure what the difference between an onion and a shallot is.”), he brings her down to the studio and when she steps through the door, she understands why he wanted to show rather than tell her about it.

There’s something magical about the little space that can’t quite be put into words — how it feels like they’ve been transported into another world, the insulation in the room swallowing the tiniest of sounds, creating an atmosphere of two beating hearts. 

Luke lingers in the doorway, leg bouncing nervously against the doorframe as Julie runs her fingers over each piece of equipment and she smiles to herself at how there are already switches labeled for each of the boys and their instruments. The recording booth is barely big enough to fit one person, let alone the various mic stands, and the door of the isolation booth is slightly ajar and she can see Alex’s old drumset and Reggie’s spare bass sitting inside, but everything feels brand new and shiny. Her heart swells at the thought that Luke’s dream of having the world hear his music could start at the press of a single button. 

“Wow,” she breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper, scared she might ruin the sanctity of such a place. 

“It’s pretty rad right?” The soft tone of his response catches her off-guard, and Julie turns to find Luke looking at her with a tenderness that makes her feel flushed. A dumbfounded expression written across his face, eyes blown in awe and wonder, like he’s just seeing the studio for the first time and she ignores the way her heart beats faster.

The rest of the night is spent with pages of Luke’s notebook scattered around the floor, his illegible scribbles written in blue ink with her loopy writing in purple filling in the missing gaps. There are pen caps and guitar picks with teeth marks etched into them littering the edges of the walls from when they started tossing it at each other every time they got stuck on a melody. There’s a couple moments during the evening, where she thinks about how her mom might come in and remind them that it’s a school night, and Luke will catch her looking over at the door with a wistful look on her face before he gently rests his hand over hers and gives it a light squeeze.

When she stirs awake at 3am tucked under a blanket on the couch, Luke curled around her back and arm draped over her hip, she’s too tired to read into what it all means and instead extricates herself from his arms and drags them both back upstairs to their separate rooms, her small hand engulfed in his, keeping each other steady.

“G’night Jules,” Luke sleepily whispers into her curls when they reach the top of the stairs, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head, “M’glad you’re home.”

She untangles her hand from his, leaning up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, “Goodnight Luke.”

Inevitably, Julie’s internal alarm clock wakes her up at eight the next morning, and she rolls around in bed until her bladder can’t keep it in anymore. She can hear Luke softly snoring through the door of the shared bathroom as she quietly starts her morning routine, thoughts circling back to the day spent with Luke. How even after nearly two years of not seeing him in person, they’ve so easily fallen back into being Julie and Luke — familiar conversation with light teasing, accidental brushes of fingers that make her tingle and shared smiles in comfortable silence, it’s all second nature to her now. 

She’s brushing her teeth when Luke walks in five minutes later, hair mussed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

He pads over to her wordlessly, and she almost doesn’t realize that he’s not wearing a shirt until he’s leaning against her shoulders, heat radiating off of his bare skin, placing his head gingerly across the top of hers and she looks up in the mirror to find him with his eyes still closed.

They stand like that for a little while, in a position that would otherwise be awkward for other people, but they’ve always been like two pieces of the same puzzle, him fitting perfectly in her life. He stirs, mumbling, “Whyareyouups’early?”

“Can’t sleep in,” she tries to say, though the toothpaste in her mouth makes it sound more like Chant Cheep Chin and she has to hold back her giggling when Luke pries one eye open to stare at her in confusion through the mirror.

She rinses the toothpaste from her mouth, wiping her lips with the back of her sleeve, “I couldn’t sleep in. Force of habit from school.”

Luke hums, the sound vibrating through him as he lifts his head and blinks his eyes open. “You want breakfast?”

“Yeah I could do with some breakfast,” she replies, detaching herself from his side, “I’ll get started on the coffee.”

He shoots her a sleepy smile, “It’s like you can read my mind.”

“Only cause you’re a creature of habit, Patterson,” she mutters under her breath, as she steps back out into the hallway.

“I heard that, Molina!” Luke yells through the closed door, clearly now energized, and she throws her head back laughing, a smile stretching across her face. She walks past the room at the top of the stairs and spots one of Luke’s flannels hanging on the doorknob, and without thinking too much about it, she’s already pulling her arms through the sleeves and letting it hang past her thighs. It’s warm from sitting in the morning sun, the strong pine scent of Luke wrapping around her like a comforting hug as she makes her way into the kitchen.

When Luke finds her a few minutes later, she’s just finished pouring herself a cup of coffee, spoon clinking against the sides as she stirs.

“This mine?” he asks, pointing to the other mug on the counter.

“Mhm hmm,” she nods, licking the spoon she’s just used before pointing it at him, “Four sugars and a splash of milk because you’re a menace to society.”

“I’m only a menace to you, Jules. Everyone else loves me.” He moves so that he’s across from her, leaning against the counter on his elbows, lifting his mug up to his lips, but then pauses midway, “Well actually, Alex probably tolerates me most days, and that’s only after he’s seen Willie.

Julie smiles involuntarily against her mug, shaking her head at him as she takes a sip of the bitter liquid. Their eyes meet over their mugs, and Julie wonders if Luke knows how much she really does love him.

They spend the next couple of minutes in silence as they drink their coffees, the sun streaming in from the windows around them warming up the cabin and letting the caffeine course through their bodies, giving themselves time to wake up a little bit more. 

It doesn’t take long before the tiny space is filled with sizzling food in pans, their laughter echoing off the cabinets and soft music playing from a speaker in the living room. 

“I’m just saying, Jules,” Luke says, waving the spatula around in the air to emphasize his point, “If I had the chance to take a course that was called Witchcraft, Magic and Occult Traditions I’d definitely take it.”

“What would I even use the knowledge for?” She laughs in reply, already regretting telling Luke about how she has to choose a course that isn’t related to her degree.

“I dunno! But think about all the cool metaphors and lyrics you could write! Like—” he pauses to gesture towards a bowl behind her, and Julie hands it to him, “ — okay like in that song we’re working on, Finally Free, in the chorus right after now ‘til eternity you could be like —” Luke trails off, arm still twirling in the air as he tries to come up with the next line. 

She closes her eyes, playing the melody that they’d just worked out the previous night in her mind, and she carefully tries out the words that are popping up in her head. “Hands up… if you… believe?” 

“Yes! That’s it!” The spatula’s pointed in her direction now, Luke grinning at her like she’s just solved the Final Jeopardy question. “Believe! That’s genius, Jules! Like ghosts and magic and stuff!”

She pulls her lip between her teeth in an attempt to stop the smile that’s threatening to stretch across her face and pushes off the counter to grab the spatula from his hand, fingers brushing against his. “Okay fine, that is a good line,” she says, defeated, turning to the long-forgotten pan on the stove, and she hears Luke let out a whoop from behind. “But I didn’t need to take a course on witchcraft to figure that one out.”

“True. Maybe it’s just you who’s magic, Molina.” 

Julie feels her cheeks flush at the compliment, and when she turns to reply, her nose almost collides with Luke’s chest, who’d apparently snuck up behind her. She feels his hand pressing softly against her hip, thumb brushing the waistband of her shorts, where he had instinctively placed it to stop her from falling back into the stove. There’s a tickle against her temples when Luke breathes out, and she looks up to find sparkling eyes and she swears for a second that they had flickered down to her lips.

“C’mon, let’s eat. I’m starving.” And just like that, the moment’s gone and Luke’s back to bouncing on his feet as he reaches around her for the pan and he’s headed to the table.

The hours pass by fast after they clean-up from their morning mess. Luke brings her to another waterfall, where he convinces her that it’s warm enough to take a quick dip and they end up on a ledge a couple feet above the pool, standing in their underwear and holding each other’s hands as they jump off with a yell. Her squeals echo off the cavern behind them when they hit the water, Luke’s laughter mixing in with hers as he wraps his arm around her waist to keep her from drifting away.

Subconsciously, she finds herself leaning against his chest, her bare back over his heartbeat, his arm adjusting to draw her closer to him, and when the snow begins to fall from above, she tilts her head back and closes her eyes. It’s easy to forget about the pain of the past two years when she’s wrapped in Luke’s arms watching fluffy flakes drifting down gently around them. Since the day they met, he’s always had a way of making her feel less lost and alone, like it wouldn’t be possible for her to feel alone in this world ever again as long as he was in it.

She knows that he’d do anything for her, and that scares her too.

It’s when her teeth begin to chatter that Luke pulls her back to shore and wraps her up in a thick towel to dry off. He holds the towel around her as she strips off her wet bra and underpants, before slipping back into her dry clothes and zipping up her jacket.

He hands her his thermos, the aroma of hot cocoa wafting up and warming her frozen cheeks, and she takes a sip of the burning liquid before passing it back. He’s somehow already changed back into his clothes, wet hair sticking out from under his beanie and Julie impulsively reaches out to push the stray strands away from his eyes. It’s a small act, nothing she hasn’t done many times before, but in the silence of the woods and the waterfall echoing behind them, the action feels so much more sacred.

Luke gives her a small smile, whispering his thanks before picking up his backpack and watching her do the same.

They make it back to the cabin a little bit past three in the afternoon, both of them standing in the doorway a little too long as they defrost from the cold. Luke starts up the fireplace while Julie takes a long hot shower, coming back down 30 minutes later in loose sweats and a tee, Luke’s flannel from this morning hanging off her shoulders.

There’s soft music playing on the speakers as Julie joins Luke on the couch, the bowl of popcorn already half empty. He’s got his songbook balanced on his knees, furiously scribbling into it as he munches away. 

“Feeling inspired?” Julie asks as she takes a seat beside him, the couch dipping under her weight and pushing her shoulder into the boy beside her.

He shrugs, eyes still trained on the page in front of him. “Just thought of this melody while we were at the waterfall, couldn’t get it out of my mind.”

She hums, knows better than to try to talk to Luke when he’s trying to get his thoughts onto paper, and rests her head on his shoulder, the exhaustion from their morning adventures finally seeping in. 

They sit in a comfortable silence, the sounds of pen scratching across paper and a crackling fire in the background. Luke’s hand has drifted down onto her thigh, fingers tapping to a melody in his head and it feels so natural that Julie feels more at home than she has in months. 

“Is this mine?” Luke asks, breaking her concentration from her phone. She looks up to see that he’s closed his notebook, and he’s rubbing the edges of the flannel she’s wearing between his fingers, face unreadable. 

She bites back a smile, pulls the sleeves over her hands, twisting the fabric into her palms. “Maybe.”

“Thought so.” He replies with a grin, his gaze roaming from his hand to her chest to her neck, where it lingers there for a moment before she’s met with burning hazel eyes. “It looks good on you.”

“I won’t lie, it’s pretty comfy,” she replies back, an innocent smile on her lips, “Would you miss it if I brought it back with me to L.A.?”

“Probably,” his smile gets a little sad, “But only because it would mean that you were gone too.”

The oxygen feels like it’s been sucked out of the room when she realizes what he’s said, her heart caught in her throat. She’d known how much she missed Luke, but sometimes she forgets that she didn’t just leave home, she’d left him too. He’d been so understanding, the picture-perfect supportive best friend that he knew she needed at the time, and she’s selfishly held onto the fact that she was the only one who was hurting.

“Yeah… I would be gone too I guess,” she says, voice small as she looks back at him and he gives a lopsided shrug as if to say it’s okay, it is what it is .

He drops the flannel from his hand, pushing himself off the couch towards the TV. “Looks like the snow’s picking up outside and I don’t think we need either one of us to catch a cold. Wanna watch something? You can choose.” She nods. “Okay, catch.”

She looks up just in time to see the controller flying through the air, her arm coming up to block her face as she makes a feeble attempt to catch it in her hands. “Luke!”

The guitarist is shaking in silent laughter, biting his lip to keep the grin from spreading across his face. “My bad, should’ve given you more of a warning.” 

They scroll through one of the streaming services, laughing as Julie reads out the summaries on some of the romcoms that catch their eye, and eventually settle on a random one that involves some prince and a hairdresser. Luke’s already brought over some throws and pillows from the storage closet, and Julie’s just settling into the couch as another popcorn bowl appears from behind and she grabs it from the boy. He hops over the back of the couch, shuffles deeper into his seat and they press play.

The movie’s not even been playing for 15 minutes when she hears soft snoring coming from her right, and she has to hold back her laughter when she sees that Luke’s fallen asleep sitting up. She puts the bowl of popcorn on the floor and carefully maneuvers him so that his head rests on her lap and he has room to stretch out.

As the movie plays quietly in the background, she finds herself absentmindedly carding her hands through Luke’s hair, an act that feels more intimate than she intends, so she moves to pull them out from his brown locks, but Luke languidly catches her wrist mid-air. 

“Dunstop. Feelsgood.” Luke mumbles out against the fabric of her sweatpants, his voice deep with sleep, low and scratchy as if he hasn’t used it in days and not just for the past 20 minutes.

His arm drops back down to his side and Julie’s hands are hovering over his head, frozen in place, and she thinks he might wake up again, but his chest begin to rise and fall in a steady rhythm.

Cautiously, she places her hand at the base of his neck, fingers threading deep under his hair as she waits to make sure he’s asleep, and when he doesn’t stir, she brings her other hand to sweep across his forehead, brushing the hair out from his eyes. 

Julie tries to focus on the movie, but she gets distracted every time she registers the weight of the boy on her lap because there’s a memory of a sadder time that mirrors their current position on the couch. She doesn’t think of that day often, nor does she think Luke does either, but it’s one of those significant moments in their relationship that she can clearly pinpoint when she realized how much she cared for him.

It was just before Luke’s 17th birthday when he decided to run away, leaving the sound of slamming doors and raised voices behind as he gets in his car and peels out of the Patterson’s driveway. His mom had shown up at the Molina’s front door sobbing and unconsolable, Julie sitting at the top of the stairs, catching fragments of the story as her parents sat Emily down on the couch. 

She’d caught the look on her Mom’s face as she pulled the sobbing woman into a hug, and Julie had quickly ran back to her room to grab her phone, shooting a text off to Alex and Reggie before dialing Luke’s number to no avail. Their group chat went off with texts from the three of them — WHERE ARE YOU LUKE? and Please just tell us you’re okay and she knew the boys were also sending off individual ones to him, hoping that he’d reply back. They don’t meet up that night, reasoning that three places where Luke might show up would be better than him showing up to one of their houses and he can’t find them there.

Hours had passed, the darkness of the night cloaking the streets and there still had been no word from Luke. His dad had finally settled down at the Molina’s dining table, head hunched over a mug of tea, only because Ray had compromised with Mitch that they could take shifts driving around town to look for his son.

Emily was asleep in their guest bedroom at Rose’s insistence, and tia Victoria had stopped by with some food even though it was nearing midnight. There were hushed whispers on the porch outside between her parents, and all Julie really remembers is going through a mix of emotions during those few hours. 

She’d been angry at Luke for not telling her or the boys where he’d gone. Confused as to why Luke hadn’t said anything about his relationship with his parents. And most of all, she had felt guilty that she couldn’t see that her best friend was hurting so bad, that he’d felt like his only option was to run away from his family. From her. 

There wasn’t much they could do but wait, and Julie had been pacing the floor of her room, worrying her lip until she could taste blood when she saw her phone light up on her bed from where she’d thrown it earlier. Scrambling to reach for the device, her fingers finally found purchase and she flipped the screen to face her. 

There were two texts from Luke.

The first text is a pinned location, somewhere two hours West of town. 

The second text read:

CAN YOU COME GET ME?

Julie was already halfway down the stairs, yelling for her Dad, before her reply was delivered with a woosh.

I’m coming 💜 

They found Luke parked on the side of the road, his shadowy figure perched on the hood of his car, the moonlight reflecting off the slick tarmac, wet from the morning dew. Ray had barely pulled to a stop before Julie got the door open and she was racing towards the brunette.

Luke was just slipping off the front when Julie had thrown her arms around his neck, the boy stumbling back from the force as he caught her, fingers fanning out across her back and pressing into her shoulders and waist. She remembers feeling the moment that Luke realized who he was holding, and how his body sagged into hers and he was burying his face deep into her neck, into her curls, and the grip around her tightening as he pulled her closer.

She remembers his body shaking in her arms, silent sobs wracking through him as he continuously whispered out I’m sorry, Jules over and over again. How her pyjamas had stuck to her shoulders as his tears soak through the material, and all she could smell was Luke — the burnt coffee and sugary syrup from the diner where he worked mixed with the scent of pine from his shampoo.

To this day, she’s still not really sure what he was apologizing for, because she realized long ago that even if Luke had told her that he’d robbed a bank, she’d just look at him, grab the keys and help him run, no questions asked. That’s what being Certified Best-Friend-Forever-No-Exchanges-Or-Refunds meant.

Luke had pulled away first, wiping his face with the sleeves of his flannel and Julie could finally see how absolutely wrecked he looked under the dim glow of the moon. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, nose and cheeks tinted red like they’d been scrubbed raw with a sponge, and from the way he was standing curled into himself, it looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She’d hesitantly lifted up her arms, hands going to cup his jaw, thumbs brushing away the tear stains tracking down his cheeks and she’d felt him let out an exhale before opening up his eyes and meeting her own. She remembers his hands moving over her own, pulling them away from his face and turning them around so that their palms met, fingers interlocking in front of his chest. In front of his heart.

They’d stood there for a couple of minutes, hands clasped together as Luke took deep breaths in and out, and he’d eventually stopped shaking long enough to realize that Julie was standing in front of him in her monster slippers. He’d pointed it out with a hollow laugh and promised her that he’d buy her new ones the next time they were at the mall. 

And then Luke looked back up, eyes tracing her face, the corners crinkling when he saw that her cheeks were wet with tears as well. He’d let out a watery laugh, freeing one of his hands to swipe the pad of his thumb over them and muttered, “Shit, Jules, I made you cry.” 

Fighting back a smile, Julie had dropped his other hand and tugged him in for another embrace while choking out, “Don’t fucking do that to me again, Patterson.”

Then her dad had hesitantly walked over to them, Luke’s backpack from the car already hanging off his shoulder, and carefully drew the boy into another hug, tight and full of love that only her dad could give. (“I’m sorry for causing trouble, Mr. Molina.” “It’s okay mijo, we’re just glad you’re safe. And for the last time Luke, you can just call me Ray.”) 

She remembers sitting in the backseat on their drive home, with Luke’s head in her lap as she combed her fingers distractedly through his hair, wishing she could bottle up all of his pain and sadness, and wondering how someone who normally stood so tall could look so tiny and fragile. How she doesn’t know what she would have done if Luke had never texted her, asking for her to come. How, for a moment, it felt like she’d lost a piece of her soul when she overheard his mom tell them that Luke had run away. 

And at 16 years-old, sitting in the backseat of her Dad’s car in tear-soaked pyjamas, Julie Molina realized that she’d fallen in love with Luke Patterson — because there was no way that her heart could hurt for someone so much without it meaning something as strong as love. 

Love.

That’s a big word for a twenty year-old college student, let alone a 16 year-old, but as Julie’s sitting on the couch in a cabin that holds a long-forgotten memory of her mother, she’s never felt the true weight of that word until now. Because with her, she’s always learned to associate the word love with home and she hasn’t known what home is ever since her mother died. 

Home to her was the house she grew up in, filled with her parents’ laughter and her tia’s cooking. The little knick knacks from when her Dad was a traveling photographer and the colourful couches that her mom had bought from the flea market one town over. 

Home was the field behind her middle school, where Reggie had found her crying after her fight with Carrie, and he’d sat down wordlessly on the damp grass and shared his pizza with her. Where he told her stories about the dogs on his street and had made her laugh with his silly impressions of a grumpy Alex during band rehearsal.

Home was the restaurant at the edge of the pier, where Alex had worked one summer and snuck her into the back kitchen so that she could make her mom a birthday cake. Where they’d made a complete mess using the mixer and left in panic and a fit of giggles. 

Home was an old beat-up rental house that she’d flown halfway across the country for. Where a stranger named Flynn became her best friend and broke her out of her grief with patience and understanding, and filled her life with loud karaoke nights and colourful accessories.

Home was the radio station downtown, where she’d gotten her first part-time job, and the flower shop two streets over that keeps dahlias stocked every year around Rose’s birthday, just for her. 

And Julie didn’t realize it until now, but home was never meant to be one physical place — it was meant to be the people who got you through the highs and the lows, and opened up their hearts to you so that you could learn to love again. 

Home is her Dad and Carlos and tia Victoria and Alex and Reggie and Flynn.

Home is where you went when you had nowhere else to go.

So when Julie couldn’t go to her mom anymore, Julie went to Luke, ringing the doorbell of a metaphorical door, and he had welcomed her in with open arms full of love and warmth and safety, holding her until the tears stopped flowing and she could finally see the golden glow of daylight.

And as the realization hits her deep in her chest, a romcom playing in the background and fingers tangled in soft hair, all she can hope for is that Luke feels the same way about her.

She blinks away the thought, a question that she’s not sure if she wants to ask if the answer is no, and lets her eyes refocus on the TV, where the hairdresser is crying over a tabloid about some tomato, and Julie can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the movie they chose is. Normally it’s Flynn she’s watching these with on a Friday night, and she makes a mental reminder to tell her roommate about it. 

The film ends shortly after, the ending straight out of a fairytale when the prince shows up on a literal horseback. Luke is still softly snoring and fast asleep, so Julie carefully shuffles out from under him, replacing her legs with one of the pillows. She pulls the blanket tighter around him and presses a kiss to his forehead before padding off to the kitchen to make herself a cup of cocoa. 

Julie spends the next hour or so sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, Luke’s notebook open on the ground to the song they’d been working on last night and her own sitting on the table in front of her. The room’s gotten dimmer, a golden glow cast across the walls as the winter sun begins setting  and the snow tapering off into a light flurry, when she hears Luke rouse from behind. 

She spins to face him, watching him as he stretches his joints. He peers at her with one eye. “Hey there sleepyhead.”

“Hey,” he rasps out, voice thick with sleep. Luke blinks, squinting as he takes in his surroundings, “How long was I out?”

“I think around 3 hours?”

“Ah, shit,” He bolts up into a sitting position, legs swinging off the couch and he’s looking down at her with piercing eyes filled with apology, “I’m sorry, Jules. You should have woken me.”

“It’s okay, you needed the sleep.” She lifts one shoulder in a shrug, “I’m a big girl, Luke. I can entertain myself for a few hours.”

“No— I know. It’s just— I know how stressed you are with college and applying for internships, and I just wanted this weekend to be filled with things you couldn’t do in L.A. You can watch crappy Netflix rom coms any day in L.A..”

Luke looks so distraught that all Julie can do is smile and joke back, poking a finger into his knee, “But I can’t do it with you .”

“To be fair, you didn’t watch it with me today either,” he mutters, but then he meets her eyes again and sees the way she’s looking at him, because she really does not care that he’d fallen asleep, and his face softens. “Still, I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

She rolls her eyes lightheartedly, and raises her arms towards him, “C’mon, Patterson, I was promised three meals a day and I don’t believe popcorn counts as a meal.”

Luke throws his head back in laughter, taking her hands in his as he pulls her up into a standing position. “You’re mean when you’re hungry, Molina.”

Dinner is made with ease, thanks to tia Victoria’s labels and specific instructions. They throw the playlist that Luke had made for her onto the stereo and most of the time in the kitchen is spent with the two of them using various utensils as a mic, passing them back and forth like they’re on stage, singing harmonies and melodies instinctively. 

Luke doesn’t let her help him clean up after, shooing her away to the living room, but she seats herself at the kitchen island so that she’s closer to him, and they banter about everything and nothing until Julie has tears forming at the corner of her eyes and can’t get a word out because she’s laughing too hard. 

They’re currently on the couch, eating the brownies that he’d picked up from the bakery in town yesterday morning, trying to work on a song without leaving chocolatey fingerprints on the page and Julie feels warm, because that’s the best way to describe how she feels when she’s around Luke — he’s like a fire that never burns out, luminous and invincible, drawing people in and surrounding them with his warmth.

She sees Luke checking his phone, a smile blooming across his face as he puts it down. “C’mon, we still have time for one more thing.”

Luke’s hopping off the couch before she has a chance to remind him that it’s almost midnight, wondering what else could they possibly do so late in the night, and she watches as he disappears upstairs.

Julie goes back to the song at hand, trying to figure out the chorus and the harmonies when she sees Luke’s sock-feet coming into her vision.

She looks up to see Luke brandishing a pair of white skates, grinning widely, “You said you’ve always wanted to learn how to skate, so I thought I could finally teach you. Borrowed these from Ivy at the library, who, by the way, says hi.”

Her brows raise quizzically as she tilts her head in confusion. “And we’re doing that at midnight because?”

“Just trust me. You’re gonna love it.” 

And Julie does trust him, unwaveringly and decisively, just like she always has.

The sky is clear when they step out into the cool air, the moon illuminating the snow-covered ground as Luke leads them onto a path to the left of the property. He’s got a flashlight with him,  using it when the trees get too thick and shadows conceal their route. He helps her over a fallen tree, grabbing onto her waist and lifting her up with ease so that she’s sitting on the top, and he vaults himself over, landing on the other side and extends another hand to her. They haven’t let go since, and with every step, Julie doesn’t think she ever wants to let him go.

They make it to a clearing a little while later, and Julie can see something glistening under the thin layer of snow in front of her. Luke pulls his hand out from hers, putting the skates down on the ground, “Wait here.”

Julie watches as Luke’s shadow disappears into the distance, her eyes trying to adjust to the dark. She hears him open a door, keys jingling, and there’s a loud grinding sound, like a metal lever that’s been activated. A soft hum of electricity fills the air and at the sound of another lever being pulled, the space in front of her illuminates.

She gasps at the scene in front of her, mouth parting in awe, and she can feel her eyes widen as the string lights turn on row by row above, forming the illusion of a tent as they meet in the middle. Julie turns slowly, head tilted up, and it feels like she’s standing under her own personal galaxy that Luke’s brought down just for her.

The ice rink below glistens, magnifying the glow of the lights and she can’t stop marveling at the way the forest swallows the light, the way the reflections don’t go further than the treeline, creating a bubble-like effect of dancing stars. The snow around the rink gleams in a way she’s never seen before, like a million diamonds tucked into layers of cotton candy.

“Do you like it?” She hears Luke ask from behind, and she turns to see him walking towards her with his hands tucked into his pockets, all nervous and shy.

“It’s—” she struggles to find the right word, “It’s magical , Luke. How did you know this was here?”

“The boys and I helped Ms. Harrison set this up last week actually. She was having trouble doing the wiring by herself and she remembered that Reggie had taken a community centre course to fix his amp, so she thought that would give him an upper hand.” He chuckles quietly, a smile crossing his features. “Turns out, they’re not related at all.”

“Does that mean Sunset Curve can add handymen to their resumes now?” She teases, and feels Luke shake with laughter.

“Nah, Reggie was smart enough to bring his neighbour, who just so happens to be an electrician, to help us out. We had it all up and done within an hour.” He lets out a breath, his voice slow and careful as he continues speaking. “When we tested it out, the lights reminded me of the time we were eight and went to the planetarium. With your mom. Do you remember that?”

Julie tenses, tongue caught in her throat, unsure what Luke’s about to say but she can feel herself nod once.

“The two of us were laying on the floor in that big domed room, with the projections of constellations and stars on the ceiling, and we were pointing up at random ones and making up names for them while your mom went to find your Dad. And then you started crying because none of them were named after you, and I remember I didn’t know what to do, so I held your hand and started crying as well.” She laughs quietly with him, at a memory that she didn’t know Luke had remembered. A memory that she holds close to her heart. “When Rose came back, she somehow managed to piece together the full story based on the words that I had hiccuped out. And I remember her kneeling down in front of the both of us, explaining how there were no stars in the sky named Julie Molina because that star was standing in front of her, and you immediately stopped crying. I think eight -year-old me thought she was made of magic at that moment.”

Julie sniffles, her voice barely above a whisper as she says, “She was good at that, wasn't she? Making us feel like we were invincible?”

“She was.” He pauses, the two words hanging heavy in the air. “I know it’s been hard for you to come back home, Jules, and I know these lights aren’t really the same as the planetarium, and I can’t give you your mom back, but I thought I could give you a new version of the memory, so that maybe one day you can call this place your home again. I think you deserve that.”

Julie lets out a deep exhale, not realizing that she’d been holding her breath as he spoke, taking in the words that he’s just put out into the universe, because it’s terrifying, how Luke has always been so intune to Julie. How he’s always known when to push and when to pull, always giving her just enough space to figure herself out. Her mother used to constantly tease them, calling them the perfect harmony, always orbiting around each other no matter the distance.

She feels her heart swell at how the whole trip has played out so far. How he’d somehow known that she would need a little bit of magic and a little bit of wonder to help her find her way back home. 

Maybe Rose was magic, Julie wouldn’t put it past her mother to have had a hand in all of this. Everything from the forgotten memory on a polaroid in a cabin to the stars pulled down from the sky, Rose Molina always knew how to make the simple mundane things be extraordinary, and she was ready to let that back into her life.

The lights swing gently above them, shadows dancing across the ice and it’s peaceful as she leans against Luke, like nothing can touch them in this moment, just the two of them with the memory of her mother drifting with the snow and back into their hearts. 

Luke nudges her softly, voice quiet. “Do you really love it?”

She nods, curls brushing up and down against his jacket as she whispers back, “Yeah, Luke. I really love it.”

“It’s not too cheesy?” he asks, voice still full of nerves, like he’s scared that he’s crossed a line.

“No, it’s perfect. I think she would’ve loved this — our own little galaxy, just the three of us.”

Lukes’ hum of relief vibrates through her, as if he’d thought that the surprise wouldn’t go well tonight and then he’s slipping his hand into hers, leading them towards the far side of the rink and a snow-covered bench. 

They dust the snow off, her sitting down and him kneeling on one knee as she watches Luke unlace the skates, nimble fingers pulling and tugging with expertise. She’s never been skating before, which is strange considering they grew up in a town that got snow for 4 months of the year. She’d mentioned it once to Luke and he’d guffawed and they pink-swore that he would teach her one day.

He helps her into the skates, making sure they fit snug, and laces them back up.

“How do they feel?” he asks, pulling once more and tying the laces into a bow.

She shakes her legs left and right, her feet settling deeper into the skates and then taps them together at the toe. “They feel okay I think. Never worn skates before.”

“Not too tight or anything?”

She shakes her head.

As Luke is putting on his own skates, he tells Julie how he and Reggie had recently convinced Alex to try his hand at ice skating. He couldn’t understand how the blonde could be so good at drumming, and so ungraceful when he had skates on.

He gets his skates laced up quicker than he had done for her, standing up to test how they feel and when it’s to his liking, he gives her a lopsided smile and says, “I’m gonna take a couple laps to make sure the ice is smooth. Don’t go anywhere.” And then he backs up and gracefully steps onto the rink.

She watches as he skates in circles, bending down to glide his hand across the ice every so often, checking for uneven surfaces. His hair’s getting tousled in the wind, brown locks fluttering wildy and each time he passes where she’s sitting, the crunching of the blades against the ice picks up and he's doing some weird fancy footwork. 

“Show off!” she yells after him and Luke’s laugh echoes back and he sends her a wink before making a final turn of the rink. 

She knows Luke told her to wait for him, but Julie’s fidgeting to get on the ice to see if it’s as easy as he makes it look, so she hesitantly pushes herself off the bench into a standing position, slowly rising with her knees bent and arms outstretched. It’s not so hard , she thinks, and she takes a tentative step forward on wobbly legs and just when she’s feeling confident in her abilities, there’s a slight gust of wind and her arms are pinwheeling as she struggles to balance. She feels herself lurching backwards and she braces for the impact, but it never comes. 

She feels a pressure against her arms, warm even through her jacket, and she opens her eyes to find Luke in front of her, hands gripping onto her elbows to keep her steady. 

“Woah there, boss. You haven’t even made it onto the ice yet,” he chuckles out, eyes dancing with laughter. 

Julie blows out a breath and mutters, “I was just trying to see if I could stand. We can’t all be Olympic skaters, Patterson.”

Luke lets out a laugh, biting down a smile when Julie glares at him through her lashes. “C’mon, let me help you.” He watches her carefully as he slowly trails his hands down her arm, over the racing pulse on her wrists, until they’re wrapped snugly around her own.

It shouldn’t affect her this much, the feeling of his calloused fingers in hers, but it’s hard to ignore the fluttering feeling growing low in her belly and the way her heart has started to race. She’s always known that Luke had an effect on her, but in the quiet of the woods underneath the midnight glow, it’s heightened. 

“Okay, take a step, but lift your whole foot so the toe pick doesn’t get caught on the ground,” he says, starting to pull a hand out from hers to show her what he means, but she panics and holds onto him tighter, shaking her head at him to indicate that she most definitely will fall if he lets go of her. 

He reassures her with a squeeze, keeping their hands clutched together as he continues to show her how to take a simple step.

And Julie tries, she really tries to follow exactly what Luke does, but the skates are heavy and awkward on her feet, and the tip of the blade clips something below her foot and she’s staggering backwards once again.

Luke’s grip tightens around her hands, a strong and sturdy feeling that keeps her grounded. His eyes never leave her face, like he’s searching for any signs of peril. And so she tries again, taking a couple steps closer to him without falling, and when she’s almost got both feet on the ice, she loses her footing again. 

“Nope,” her voice shakes, dread clouding her mind, “Luke, I can’t do this.”

Her head’s starting to fill with all the possible ways she’s going to fall and break a bone in her body, or worse, accidentally cut one of them with the two weapons attached to her feet. She can’t handle another trip to the hospital because the last time she went into the hospital, she’d lost a parent and she can’t lose her best friend too.

“Jules, look at me,” His voice is gentle, soft enough to break her out of her fear and Luke ducks his head down a little to meet her eyes. “I’ve got you.”

She looks up tentatively. “You’ve got me?”

He repeats himself. “I’ve got you.”

And it’s hard not to believe Luke Patterson when his eyes are ablaze with fierce determination, so she takes a deep breath in, straightening her back and steadying herself. “Okay, but don’t let go.” 

“Never.”

Luke continues to be patient with her, holding onto her hands as she makes small little steps across the ice, never making it feel like the only reason she’s managed to stay upright is because of him, while giving her encouragement in the form of his signature Luke Patterson smile. Not that she’ll confirm nor deny whether or not she classifies the slightly toothy smile that turns up higher on one side as his signature smile. 

They’ve almost made one lap of the tiny rink, Luke skating backwards with ease as their hands remain in each other’s grasps and Julie stumbling along. Her legs are starting to tire, but she’s hopeful that she’ll be able to skate the length of the rink without any help before the night ends.

“You’re doing great, Jules.”

“Really?” her body jerks as the skates tremble beneath her for what feels like the hundredth time, “It doesn’t feel like I am.”

“Trust me, I couldn’t stay upright until my tenth lesson.”

She squints at him, not sure if he’s being serious. “I guess that makes me feel a little bit better.”

The corners of his mouth twitch. “I mean, I was only seven years old at the time, but yeah, you’re doing great.”

“You’re making fun of me!” Julie gasps, making a play at being hurt.

“I’m not making fun of you, Jules! I’m just saying, you might be ahead of the curve here— ” the teasing smile on Luke’s face stretches wider, “— if we were comparing you to other seven year olds.”

“Well—” she sputters, “— maybe I’m just trying not to show off so you don’t get humiliated by how awesome I am actually at skating.” Her feet wobble at that exact moment, and the way her voice goes up an octave contradicts her statement.

Luke’s brow raises, mirth swimming in his eyes and a smirk appears across his face. “Then consider this me giving you permission to show off.” And before she can react, he’s untangling his hands from hers, skating away to the other side of the ice, yelling, “C’mon boss, show me what you got!”

If she wasn’t so determined to prove Luke wrong, she’d be livid. But Julie’s never been one to step down from a challenge, so she takes a deep breath, lining herself up to face Luke and starts pushing off with her right foot, then left, then right again, picking up speed as she keeps her focus solely on staying upright and gliding towards the other side. Her curls flutter around her, the wind biting against her cheeks, and she doesn’t try to push herself to go any faster, just coasting in a straight line.

She can hear Luke cheering her on from across the rink, his voice giving her the courage she needs, and a genuine smile pulls at her lips because she’s actually doing it. 

Luke catches her as she closes the distance, slowing her to a stop as she reaches him, his eyes twinkling with the lights above as he wraps an arm wrapped around her waist and starts twirling in a small circle. She’s got her head thrown back, giggling as she spreads her arms out wide and Julie feels like she’s floating above the clouds.

She thinks she could live in this perfect moment forever.

When they stop spinning, Julie realizes how close they are to each other, her arms now pressed awkwardly between their bodies, both trying to catch their breaths as they come down from their laughter. If she tilts her head a little, she can see the stubble forming along his jawline and how his lips are slightly parted in the cold. 

“You said you wouldn’t let me go,” she breathes out, a little accusation tinting her words.

“I did, didn’t I?” His voice is soft as he looks down to meet her eyes, face earnest, “I promise from now on, I’ll never let you go.”

 She feels her skates slide across the ice as Luke draws her closer, his arm around her lower back, squeezing with a light pressure like he’s worried that she’s going to slip away. And it’s when she sees his eyes dart between her lips and her eyes that she sets the spark.

“Luke,” she whispers, filling the quiet space between them, “Are you going to kiss me?”

“I—“ His tongue darts out to wet his lips, eyes searching her face as if he’s worried that he’s misheard her. He blinks down at her. Once. Twice. And she can see the moment that it clicks for him and a breathtaking smile stretches across his face. “May I?”

She nods, pulling her lip between her teeth, and that’s all the confirmation he needs before their noses are brushing against each other as he leans down to connect their lips. A sigh escapes her when she meets his mouth and a warmth bubbles in her chest, somewhere in the space between her heart and her ribcage like a melody being set free from a music box when you finally find the right key. The warmness spreads through her, tinting her cheeks and the tip of her nose red until it finds itself settling in her stomach like a fire.

Luke’s mouth teases hers open, gentle and soft, his tongue slipping in as their hearts beat in sync. She slips his bottom lip between her teeth, and he leans into her to deepen the kiss. And it’s rushed and it’s cold, but it’s also perfect . 

Luke pulls away first, panting slightly and lips red, mesmerized. She feels his hand come up to trace along her neck, along her face, and the warmth in her stomach blooms larger as he gently brushes away a stray curl from her cheek. His head’s still ducked towards her, and she leans in to connect their foreheads, an electricity sparking under her skin when she meets his eyes once more.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he whispers after a moment, breath ghosting across her cheeks.

She peers up at him through her lashes, heart skipping a beat at the confession, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.”

And she’s rewarded with a blinding smile as he dives back down to press his lips against hers, slower this time, like he’s trying to memorize every inch of her mouth. Julie leans into his palm to get a better angle, and feels the way his thumb pushes on her cheekbone as she melts into his touch.

It’s so normal, so natural for Julie to snake her arms around his neck, fingers pushing up into his hair as she tries to tug him closer and deepen the kiss. But she forgets momentarily that they’re on ice, standing in skates, him a whole foot taller, so when she tries to lift herself onto her toes, she knows she’s made a mistake as she feels her feet slide out from under her. 

Julie pulls back, trying to maintain her balance but it’s inevitable as they begin to fall. Their skates scratch loudly across the surface, looking for friction, and then she’s closing her eyes waiting for the ground to hit and she can feel Luke tighten his grip on her as he shifts his weight and yelps.

They land with a silent thud when Luke’s back hits the snow, a puff of white powder popping up on the impact and falling back down onto their bodies, dusting Julie’s hair. Her head’s still tucked tightly into Luke’s chest, rising and falling with each breath he takes, and she hesitantly looks up to find that Luke had managed to avoid the ice, moving at the last minute to protect both himself and Julie. 

Pushing herself up onto her knees, the wetness soaking through her leggings, she tries to slow her racing heart and even out her breathing. She replays the last couple of minutes in her mind, lifting a finger to press against where Luke’s lips had last touched hers, and a small smile tugs at her cheeks.

She sees Luke shuffle to prop himself up onto his elbows, his eyes wide in admiration as his gaze meets hers and a smirk appears on his face. “Jules, if you were hoping to get me to fall for you just now, you’re about 16 years too late.”

Julie lets out a groan, fighting back the smile that’s pulling on the corners of her mouth as her heart flutters like the wings of a million butterflies. In any other instance, she’d be more annoyed at the joke, but right now, all she feels is safe and warm, so she leans closer to him, places a hand over the heart of the boy she’s loved all her life and pushes him back into the snow.

“Oh shut up and just kiss me, Patterson.”

And when their lips meet again, under the watchful eyes of the moon and the stars, there’s a whisper in the wind that sounds a lot like welcome home .