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Breathe in. One, two. Out. Three, four.
Listen. Not to the branches swaying gently above. Listen deeper. Listen to what lies beneath. Listen to the heart of the world, and it will answer.
So far, no luck.
Cálei sighs. It's not that he can't focus. Hours and days he's spent at the foot of the Guardian Tree, in constant meditation. In the quiet alcoves of the Conjurer's Guild, deep within Gridania. In the sun-dappled pools of Camp Tranquil.
And yet the elementals refuse to answer.
He's trying. Gods, is he trying to reach them. Problem is, he doesn't know where to start. They'd always come to him, not the other way around. Now it's up to him to bridge that gap, and he can't.
It's not that he doesn't know how. The Padjal all assure him that meditation and an open heart are the key. The rest is up to him, and he's falling short.
Some white mage he'll make.
———
At first, of course, the Padjal had denied him. Conjury is one thing, white magic quite another. Not only are such skills carefully guarded within Gridania, they are the domain of the Padjal alone. None can learn their magicks, and not for lack of trying.
But Cálei has always been a special case. As a child, he'd often seen a fairy in the wilderness of his Coerthan hometown. Its presence had awakened his natural skills for magic, enough to attract attention from the Conjurer's Guild. As a youth, he'd trained with them, and later the arcanists of Limsa Lominsa, to better harness his talents.
Even the fairy had accompanied him for a time, though it had faded once he realized its true nature. An elemental had chosen him and bestowed its gifts upon him, and he had but put them to use.
Yet conjury isn't enough. Not anymore.
———
"You're not trying hard enough."
Cálei snaps his jaw shut. Don't argue. They're the ones who know more about this. Defer to them.
"That's harsh, sister," A-Towa chides. "Cálei's been meditating for a week."
Raya-O-Senna clicks her tongue. "Then he has a lifetime to catch up on. The elementals do not bestow their gifts on anyone who asks. You have to prove to them that you'll use it for good."
Cálei's eyebrow twitches. He doesn't usually laud his title over people, but honestly. What does she expect the Warrior of Light to do with white magic, go out and kill people?
Instead he says, "I don't have a lifetime. I need to learn everything I can before the war in the east boils over. The magic I have now isn't enough to save lives."
"Then you'd better get back to meditation, shouldn't you?" Raya-O-Senna shakes her head. "I don't know what you expect me to say. You know what you need to do."
Clearly he does.
———
Despite the Padjal's insistence, Cálei can't actually spend most of his time in meditation. That he'd managed to carve a few days away is itself a minor miracle, and not one likely to be repeated soon.
Unfortunately, as always, the Scions have need of him. This time there's unrest in U'Ghamoro, which probably means the kobolds are going to summon Titan again. This really shouldn't all fall to him, but the recently resolved conflict in Ishgard has occupied most of the Echo-blessed he knows.
Besides, he's fought Titan before. It can't be any more difficult now.
The twins are to join him, at least. He hasn't spent much time with Alisaie since their journey into the remnants of Dalamud, but he's heard nothing but praise from X'rhun, the red mage who'd trained them both. As for Alphinaud, Cálei rather suspects that this is an excuse to get away from politics for the first time in moons. After all the boy's done for Ishgard, it's the least he deserves.
———
The first surprise comes by way of a kobold child. Ga Bu, he names himself, hands pressed tight together in worry. Cálei has never spent much time around kobolds, but it's not hard to pick up the child's fear.
Thankfully, Alphinaud has learned much of diplomacy, stepping in easily between the Maelstrom's on-site commander and the tiny kobold. "Now, Commander Bloeidin here thinks you wanted to take his crystals, Ga Bu, but you said you came to ask for help. Why to us, and not to your own people? What happened, Ga Bu? Can you tell us?"
The kobold chitters nervously, looking back and forth between them. Alisaie drops to a knee, smiling. "No one is going to hurt you, all right? Not while we're here. I promise."
Little by little, the story spills out of Ga Bu: the patriarch of his clan intends to summon Titan once more, as expected. What comes as a surprise is the methodology: the bones of the kobold's kin in addition to the usual crystals.
"Surely you're speaking metaphorically?" Alphinaud says, paling.
"I have heard tales of it," Alisaie replies. "Not that I wanted to believe it in myself, but..."
"Desperate people will do many things you don't want to believe," Cálei murmurs.
"No one listens to Ga Bu, no matter how much he cries — pleads, begs, cries! They do not listen, only talk about punishing the overdwellers and praising the Great Father. Ga Bu loves the Great Father, but he loves his parents too! So please, help Ga Bu!"
"You don't have to worry," Alisaie says firmly. "We're here to help. Right, Cálei?"
Cálei can't quite meet her eyes. Behind her, Alphinaud turns to Commander Bloeidin and starts barking orders, per usual. To him, it's probably just another primal he'll send his Warrior of Light to slay, no matter how much he's changed.
"We'll do everything he can," Cálei says, and prays he won't regret it.
———
The kobold aetheryte lies deep in the heart of U'Ghamoro, behind twisting corridors and perilous paths. Kobolds fill the tunnels, of course, but after moons fighting dragons, they hardly prove much trouble. A nuisance at best.
But then, they weren't the problem in the first place.
The aetheryte sends them deep in the belly of the mountain, to the same familiar platform where he'd first fought Titan so long ago. At present it stands empty of its divine patron, but in its place are no small amount of kobolds, along with multiple crates filled with crystals. One kobold stands in the center overseeing the others, clearly preparing a summoning ritual.
Ga Bu darts forward, tail lashing behind him. "Where are my parents, Patriarch? Where are they?"
The patriarch's only answer is to glance to the side. Cálei had taken note of the kobolds near the edge of the platform, but he'd thought them resting. Now, as Ga Bu approaches, the truth becomes painfully clear.
"Mother...?" Ga Bu says, voice breaking. "Father...?"
Alisaie reaches for her sword, but Alphinaud holds out a hand. Cálei doubts Alphinaud's usual weapon of choice can sway the kobolds, but he'll never begrudge the boy for trying. If not for the Alphinauds of the world, there would be far more need for Warriors of Light.
And indeed, the patriarch spits back nothing but hatred and pain. "When we dare to defend ourselves, you declare that this 'beast tribe' cannot be suffered to live! That our god drains the land of aether, and brings naught but suffering — death, destruction, suffering upon us all!"
It doesn't matter that he's right. Ga Bu is still huddled by his fallen family, pleading with them to wake up. Cálei approaches the small kobold, but Ga Bu pulls away from his grasp.
"Say something, please. Please..." He wrings his hands, nearly wailing. "Wake up... wake up... wake up wake up wake up wake up—"
The nearby crystals begin to glow. The surrounding rubble raises into the air, forming a figure. A familiar figure.
"By the gods," Aliphinaud breathes. "Cálei, stop him—"
"Ga Bu," Cálei says. His tongue feels leaden in his mouth. What can he possibly say to make this any easier? What can he do to make the kobold stop? "Ga Bu, please, it's all right—"
The kobold doesn't respond. Maybe doesn't hear him. He continues pleading before his parents' corpses, his voice creaking, the words nearly a wail. All the while, the rocks continue to glow, until their shine is too bright to ignore. Titan emerges in a cloud of pebbles.
They have to get out of here, now. The twins aren't Echo-blessed, they can't fight a primal. It takes no more than a glance at Alphinaud to see he knows it.
Alisaie joins him by Ga Bu, one hand on the kobold. "I've got him. Come on, Ga Bu, follow me—"
She disappears into a teleportation spell. Cálei uses his own aether to nudge the kobold into following the spell, then vanishes alongside her. They emerge beside the kobold aetheryte, thankfully in one piece.
"Cálei, help me," Alisaie says. Ga Bu is there beside her, but he isn't moving, and for a moment Cálei fears the worst.
Yet as he drops to a knee beside the kobold, it's clear he's not injured. "It must be the shock," Cálei reasons. "He'll be all right. Just get him out of here. I'll deal with the primal." He gives Alisaie a smile he hopes is reassuring. "You'll be okay."
She nods. Beside them, Ga Bu continues to stare off into nothingness.
———
A few linkshell calls and one quick primal fight later, Cálei joins them at Camp Overlook. Titan hadn't been an issue, but it had done little to ease the queasy feeling in his gut.
Sure enough, Ga Bu hasn't stirred in his absence. Cálei kneels before the kobold and takes one of his paws, but Ga Bu makes no sign of recognition. "He's been like this since we got back," Alphinaud says. "He is almost certainly still in shock, but... we cannot discount the possibility that he succumbed to the primal's influence. Should that prove to be the case—"
"He must be put to the death, like any other thrall," Alisaie bites out. "That's the standard policy, yes?"
"...Aye. But we must not rush to conclusions. Cálei? Can you sense anything?"
"Give me a moment." Cálei closes his eyes, still holding one of Ga Bu's paws. The kobold is so small, even for one of his kind. So much pain in so small a being.
Without really meaning to, he extends a hand, summoning his aether. He hasn't tried to heal with conjury in moons, maybe longer. But if he can help this kobold, if he can save him, then maybe...
But nothing happens. The aether washes over Ga Bu as if he'd never been touched at all. Ga Bu stares into emptiness, not responding.
He drops Ga Bu's paw. Swallows. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Alisaie murmurs. "Thank you for trying."
———
He meditates, that night. Finds a quiet spot overlooking the Nymian ruins that dot this region and closes his eyes. Breathes in, one two. Out, three four.
It doesn't help. He can't focus. The wind whistling through the trees. The patter of roaming beastkin. The slowly rotating crystals hovering overhead. All of it adds to his distraction.
Or maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe what he really can't ignore is his own head.
It's not that he thinks he can cure thralldom. He knows better than that. Countless people the world over have tried to find an answer to that question. But there should have been something he could do. What is the point of learning white magic if not to help those in need? What greater need could there be?
And yet...
What could you have done, really? Bring his parents back to life? You're a mage, not a god. You can't save everyone.
Doesn't make him feel any better.
Cálei sighs. Climbs to his feet. Meditation isn't happening tonight. Might as well get some rest.
Yet as he heads back to the campsite, he catches sight of a familiar figure. Alisaie sits overlooking the kobold camp, Ga Bu tucked beside her. She starts at the sound of his footsteps, but gives him a relieved smile when she catches sight of him.
"Cálei," she welcomes. "I thought a change of scenery might do him good, but, alas..."
She gestures to Ga Bu, who continues to stare at an invisible horizon. Cálei joins her near the cliff's edge and takes a seat. "You've done all you can for him."
"I know. Deep down I know, but it's not so easy to remember." She sighs, and glances up at the sky. "It's so quiet out here. The stars spread out before us, beckoning across time and space..."
There's something on her mind, he realizes. More than Ga Bu's plight. "What is it?"
"Mm. I've just been thinking about Grandfather."
Of course. Of the two twins, Alisaie had been the one most concerned with her grandfather Louisoix's fate, and had risked life and limb to answer that question. Or rather, Cálei had risked his life, repeatedly. The trials within the ruins of Dalamud had been beyond his wildest expectations, but he had come out of it in one piece. Somehow.
But Alisaie had been greatly changed by the encounter. She had seen her grandfather's spirit within those ruins, and learned what truly became of him. "Are you still thinking about what he said?" Cálei asks.
"You could say that," Alisaie replies. "Really, I've been thinking a lot about what it was all for. Why he gave his life for a land that wasn't even his own. I couldn't fathom how these people were more deserving of his love than his family. Than me. But when Grandfather revealed the whole truth of the Calamity to us, I finally understood. And I've tried to continue his legacy in my own way."
"So I've heard." Cálei smiles at her. "X'rhun's had nothing but praise for you."
She flushes, but doesn't deny it. "I've had ample opportunity to practice, these past moons. My travels have taken me all over Eorzea. And yet, I cannot say that I have enjoyed my time. So many petty squabbles I was powerless to mend, so many people I couldn't understand."
Her words ring painfully true. "I've felt the same. Many times."
"I'm sure you have," Alisaie sighs. "That's what makes me wonder. Why try if I'm doomed to fail in the end? But then I think about what Grandfather said to my father before he left Sharlayan. 'To ignore the plight of those one might conceivably save is not wisdom — it is indolence.'"
"So it is," Cálei murmurs. He's never had cause to put it into words before, but that same mantra has guided him since he became the Warrior of Light. To turn away from those in need, those within his power to save — it's unthinkable. Unforgivable.
"I knew you'd understand." Alisaie glances at Ga Bu, then Cálei. "We have to try, do we not?"
"We do." Cálei smiles at her. "Thank you for reminding me of that, Alisaie. I had nearly forgotten."
"You? Never." But she smiles back, her heart lightened some small amount by his words. "Ah, but this has been a rather one-sided conversation. Why don't you tell me about your time in Ishgard? Alphinaud has told me much, but I'm sure he exaggerated some of it. I mean, moogles in the sky?"
"Lots of them." Cálei shudders at the memory. "And we had to do all of their chores."
"Their chores?"
He regales Alisaie with tales well into the night, and delights in her easy smiles. Ga Bu never says a word, never looks at either of them, but neither pushes him away.
If their company is all they can offer, it's a small price to pay.
———
In the morning, Alisaie lingers.
"He's still in there," Alisaie insists. "I know it. Beneath the anguish and the despair, Ga Bu is still fighting with all his heart. He deserves to be given that chance. Until he comes back to us — until we know for certain what has become of him." Her gaze lands on the Maelstrom commander. "You will look after him, won't you, and treat him with every kindness?"
"Aye, aye, you needn't worry," Bloeidin reassures her. "This would have all turned out a damn sight worse without that kobold. We'll not soon forget that, and neither will Maelstrom Command."
She studies the man for a moment, eyes narrowing, until Cálei puts a hand on her shoulder. "Let them take it from here, Alisaie. They'll look after him."
"Very well." She turns to Ga Bu and drops to a knee to look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Ga Bu. I truly am. Hold fast to the memories of better times. Remember them as they were. And when it hurts so much your heart feels fit to burst, let it burst. Let it burst, and fill up again with your love for them. And never, ever forget."
At first, Cálei thinks it's the same as before — that Ga Bu will not respond to her. Yet after a moment, a tiny voice emerges from the helmet. "I... I will remember them. And you, Alisaie. Thank you."
He totters off after the Maelstrom commander and onto the waiting airship. Cálei touches Alisaie's shoulder again, ever gentle. "You got through to him, Alisaie. He's still in there. Just give him time."
She blinks back tears, but her voice doesn't waver. "Aye. And those who orchestrated these events will be made to answer for their crimes. There will be a reckoning."
"So there will," Alphinaud agrees. "But for now, duty calls us away. Shall we?"
"I'll meet up with you later," Cálei replies.
He's got another stop to make.
———
The Guardian Tree stands alone in a small riverbed, the waters too low to do anything but lap at his feet. Cálei strides up to it and places his palm upon the bark, listening.
He hears only the wind in the leaves.
Close his eyes. Breathe in, one two. Out, three four. Let himself out, and the elementals in. Give them space in his soul. You're not alone. You've never been alone.
He opens his eyes. His fairy hovers before him— no. His elemental.
"I don't know why you chose me," Cálei murmurs. "But I never sought you out. You found me. You led me here, time and again. So I ask you this: what do you want me to do?"
The elemental's faceless head stares back at him. Its body is more suggestion than form, its limbs mere branches. Yet he can feel its power radiating throughout this place. This is its place, and he the interloper.
After a moment, it flutters its wings and lowers to the ground. There, lying in the water, is a small white stone. More oval than circle, edges long since smoothed away. At its center lies the glyph he recognizes as belonging to the white mages of Gridania.
Chosen, once again, to bear powers not his own.
When he looks up, the elemental is gone.
It's fine. He has his answer.