Archive of Our Own

With a groan of pleasure that made Joo-Won grip his emotions tightly, Dong-Sik stretched his arms over his head, popping his back. "Maybe I wanted us to have something in common," he snarked. Trying to get back on track, Joo-Won shook his head and returned his focus to the files on the table. "Okay, come on, you said you would help. What do you think?" Dong-Sik leaned over the table, eyes scanning the pages quickly. When Joo-Won had complained about being stumped by his most recent case Dong-Sik had readily offered a fresh eye. Joo-Won was pretty sure it was mostly from boredom as he found his feet post prison, but he was happy for any help, and an excuse to spend time together wasn't something he'd say no to either. When you could actually manage to get him to focus Dong-Sik knew how to do the job. Showing him the files wasn't strictly legal, but Joo-Won didn't have his past level of obsession with the rules. These days he felt that if it got someone found and didn't hurt anyone he should be willing to consider it. "He really has no one to stay with?" Dong-Sik asked. His expression turning serious, Joo-Won nodded, "Maybe there's someone out there we haven't managed to find yet, but he says there's no one to go to." 

Pursing his lips, Dong-Sik hummed as he thought about it. "He's too young to be all alone," he said empathetically. "Maybe there's someone he just doesn't want to ask for help from, but would be willing to take him in." Joo-Won frowned down at the pages as he thought about the last time he'd spoken to the boy. Shaking his head he answered, "I really don't think so. He told me there's never been anyone who loved him and that no one would want him, and I believed him." Dong-Sik made a disbelieving sound. "Everyone has someone who loves them," he said dismissively. Stunned, Joo-Won turned his stare on him. "You cannot possibly be that naive," he said flatly. Already distracted by a new section of the file, Dong-Sik was barely paying attention as he answered. "I'm sure there are really unlikable, awful people out there no one could love, but everyone else has been loved by someone at some point," he said flippantly. His body shifting from loose and relaxed to closed off and tense in a split second, Joo-Won stiffened, blinking rapidly as he struggled to take in the biting words. He pulled some pages closer to look like he was working, but not really taking in any information. His hands trembled a little as he shuffled the papers around. Feeling like the breath had been knocked out of him like the words had been a physical blow, his stomach sank until he felt sick. 

It took Dong-Sik longer than he should have to notice the difference. Hunched over the files, Dong-Sik became aware of the silence, and glanced over and took in how Joo-Won's body was angled away from him, his shoulders tight, his face hidden, sitting very still. Dong-Sik's brow furrowed at the behavior, then his words caught up with him, horror coming over him as he realized how cruel they had sounded. Damn him and his running mouth. Why could he never think before he spoke? Of all the people he could have said that to... "Joo-Won ah," Dong-Sik started hesitantly. With clearly trembling fingers Joo-Won slid a page over and pointed to a paragraph. "Do you see the contradiction there?" He asked in an unsteady voice, ignoring Dong-Sik's attempt to address him as he tried to push on like nothing happened. Dong-Sik didn't so much as glance at the paper. They'd started touching each other more often recently, so hoping that in his current state it would be accepted he touched Joo-Won's arm lightly. "I didn't mean-" he started again, only for Joo-Won to interrupt again, "Do you think this statement is credible?" Dong-Sik winced at the low wavering voice. 

It felt as though Joo-Won's throat wore a constricting collar. His chest burned with tightness, every breath a pain to draw. Maybe if he redirected to the case enough times Dong-Sik would drop the matter. He didn't want to hear some pitying apologetic claim that he shouldn't have said it or that he was sorry for being so blunt. No one should apologize for being right. It hurt to hear more than it should have, and that was entirely his own fault. Joo-Won was just angry with himself for caring so much about what Dong-Sik thought of him when it shouldn't matter. It was no one else's fault he'd allowed that to happen. He had thought they were getting to a stronger place, becoming good friends, perhaps even... Why had he let himself think Dong-Sik might see him in such a positive light? After how he had treated the man, could he really be expected to consider Joo-Won a lovable person? The pain in his chest was Joo-Won's fault for irrationally getting his hopes up.

Dong-Sik sighed at Joo-Won's deflections. He was obviously hurt, and not mildly. He looked like he had been cut deeply and was fighting not to show it. Dong-Sik's heart sank at the thought of what he might have set off in Joo-Won's mind. The man clearly had self-worth issues from the guilt he still carried and his childhood with his shitty father. He'd told Joo-Won so many times that he had nothing to feel guilty about, but this one statement he slipped up and said would probably stick in his head more than him saying the opposite one hundred times. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Joo-Won, but his careless, flippant tongue had done just that. He'd essentially categorized Joo-Won as unlikable and awful, and Joo-Won looked like he believed that's how he meant it. Dong-Sik had never actually spelled it out for himself - that Joo-Won had never been loved before, though it should have been obvious. The thought made him ache for the man he'd come to care for so much. He had to make Joo-Won understand that he wasn't insulting him. "Joo-Won ah, I wasn't saying that you-" but once again he was cut off. 

Needing to escape to somewhere he could breathe, Joo-Won jumped to his feet, clearly startling Dong-Sik. He wanted to nurse his wounds alone while he felt so raw. He would see Dong-Sik again whenever he regained control of himself. "You can hold onto those and look them over. You don't need my help with that. Let me know if you have any thoughts," he spoke in a low voice to hide how choked up he was. He kept his face carefully angled away from Dong-Sik as he gathered his things so he didn't show his eyes that he knew were red as they filled, despite how hard he bit his lip to fight against tears. The house around him felt unwelcoming in a way it hadn't for so long as he walked to the front door in a daze of hurt. After fumbling his shoes on he was reaching for the knob when Dong-Sik put his hand on his wrist and stepped in front of him. 

Shit, Joo-Won was crying. It felt like a punch in the guts to see. He was visibly fighting hard not to, but his eyes were swimming, his lips clenched in a tight line as he struggled to hold himself together. Dong-Sik tried to speak quickly before he could get interrupted again, "I wasn't saying you're awful-" Face closing off, Joo-Won firmly pushed him aside to open the door. He started to step out, then hovered on the doorstep for a moment. "Don't apologize for telling the truth just because you feel bad about it now. I shouldn't have expected you to feel differently about me after everything I did. It's how I would feel. You shouldn't feel bad about being honest," he said in a low, thick voice. Dong-Sik felt such a pang shoot through him at the words that he was struck speechless, leaving Joo-Won free to hurry out. Dong-Sik turned to stare after him, watching his hand come up to wipe his eyes as he walked to his car.

"I didn't know how to react!" Dong-Sik exploded in frustration at himself. "It felt like I'd been punched in the chest, Ji-Hwa." His friend looked disappointed in him, something that always put him in his place. "How did you not hear what you were saying? You know his father. You know he has no mother. We're the first friends he's ever had," she stressed to him. Dong-Sik groaned, the pain in his heart almost physical. "He believes it. That's the part that's killing me. I could have straightened things out, made a joke about putting my foot in my mouth, but then he said that. He thinks I really see him that way, that I should see him that way," he said brokenly. A day had passed and the pain of that revelation had only grown. Did Joo-Won really think so little of himself? Had Dong-Sik been treating him poorly? Or was it just that hard for him to imagine anyone caring for him? The latter seemed most likely. Ji-Hwa stepped in front of him, walking backwards on the trail. "Wasn't that the perfect time to tell him how you feel?" She challenged him. 

Frowning, Dong-Sik shook his head. "He thought I was apologizing out of pity or some shit. If I'd said it then he wouldn't have believed me." Ji-Hwa stopped walking and put her hand on his shoulder. "Dong-Sik ah, he has never been loved and thinks no one could love him. Isn't that the perfect time to tell him? Maybe that's not really why you didn't tell him," she said seriously. Dong-Sik furrowed his eyebrows at her. "Why else?" He asked. Ji-Hwa leveled her no bullshit look at him and said bluntly, "You're terrified." Dong-Sik scoffed, "What?" She continued, "You think everyone you love is at risk of something terrible happening to them. You're scared to death of losing him. You think telling him you love him makes you more likely to lose him, because that's the bad luck you bring to everyone you care about." Dong-Sik felt rooted in place by the truth in her words. "If you don't ever tell him," she continued mercilessly. "And he dies on the job, is it going to be more or less painful because you said nothing? You won't have protected him by keeping your mouth shut. His job is dangerous regardless. So if that happened, what would you feel?" 

Dong-Sik felt broken apart by her words. "I would spend the rest of my life regretting that I didn't let him know that he was loved," he whispered. "Ji-Hwa, I can't let him think he isn't. I can't let him believe I think so little of him." Ji-Hwa nodded in approval and checked her watch. "If you leave now you can get to Seoul close to when he gets off work." Dong-Sik spent the whole drive thinking over what Ji-Hwa had said, the pain of it digging into him deeply. He was so scared of more loss it had paralyzed him with Joo-Won. The other man had grown increasingly important to him as they spent more time together as friends rather than rivals or colleagues. Over time Joo-Won had become more and more relaxed around him, joking more freely, sitting closer, calling to talk over problems at work he definitely could have managed alone. Yet Dong-Sik had found excuse after excuse to not let on how he felt, some part of him convinced that the moment he said it Joo-Won would be ripped away from him. His heart jumped to his throat as he realized how much he still feared that. But Joo-Won continuing to think what he did was unacceptable. 

Joo-Won yawned widely as he walked through the hall of his building. He'd barely slept the night before and had been moody and withdrawn at work all day, and probably a pain in the ass to his team. Turning a corner, he stopped in his tracks as he spotted Dong-Sik leaning next to his door. Wary of whatever talk Dong-Sik wanted to have, he approached slowly. Joo-Won wasn't interested in rehashing things, so he hoped there was some other reason Dong-Sik was there. Hearing his approach, Dong-Sik looked up, the acute anxiety on his face startling Joo-Won. His desire to dismiss Dong-Sik faded a little as he took in the way he nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot with his face on the verge of outright panic. Wordlessly Joo-Won let them into his apartment, hanging up his coat and toeing off his shoes before putting up his equipment. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, Dong-Sik watched him in uncharacteristic silence. "Well?" Joo-Won prompted. "Whatever you're going to say, get it over with." Dong-Sik nodded then steeled himself. "I'm sorry for what I said - no, please don't interrupt," he pleaded, as Joo-Won opened his mouth. "Just let me say what I need to then I'll go if you want me to. When I said that stupid comment about only unlikable people aren't loved, I wasn't including you in that. I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have said it. It wasn't directed at you."

Dong-Sik shifted his weight from foot to foot, wishing he could just dump his thoughts and feelings into Joo-Won's mind so he didn't have to organize them enough to speak and hope he came across coherently. Love confessions were more difficult than he'd realized. He'd always mentally scoffed at hearing people stress about admitting their feelings. That wouldn't happen anymore. It felt like this might kill him. "Joo-Won ah, you saying it makes sense I think that way... I can't stand that you think I dislike you or think so little of you. I've forgiven you a hundred times over for everything. I know who you are now." His throat closed up with terror as he got closer to the heart of the matter. What was he doing? Why was he inviting someone to get so close to him, potentially welcoming more grief into his life? Losing Joo-Won would break him; he was sure of it. What if he was cursed somehow? 

Joo-Won's eyes widened as he took in Dong-Sik's panic. Why would he be so scared to tell Joo-Won he didn't dislike him? He approached slowly, placing his hand on Dong-Sik's arm. It startled him to feel tremors running through him. "Dong-Sik?" He questioned, concern for the man he still cared for so much overtaking his hurt. "What's wrong?" Dong-Sik's eyes were red as he gazed at Joo-Won, searching his face for something. "I'm fucking terrified," he admitted in a shaky voice with a sharp laugh. "Before I go on, know that I don't tell you this to put any pressure or expectations on you. I'm not asking for anything. I just want you to know." Joo-Won's brow furrowed in confusion, but he listened silently. Running a shaking hand through his hair, Dong-Sik took a wavering breath and pushed on, "When I said that dumb thing you thought I was putting you in the unlovable category, but I was putting you in the loved one. Shit... Saying this scares me to death because my luck seems to mean terrible things happen to the people I love." 

What he was getting at started to take form in Joo-Won's mind, but he must be wrong... Dong-Sik's anxiety was very real, though, his honesty undeniable. "I'm terrified of losing you. I don't know that I'd survive it," Dong-Sik admitted with a broken laugh, his eyes scanning the room as though looking for help. The awful thought of Dong-Sik going through more loss made Joo-Won's hand reflexively clench on his arm even as something in him softened at hearing Dong-Sik's care for him. Dong-Sik's eyes returned to him as he continued, "But I can't let you go on thinking you're unloved. I just want you to know that someone does love you." His mind reeling, Joo-Won was struck dumb as he struggled to catch up with reality. "I don't- are you really- are you trying to say you love me?" He whispered. He watched Dong-Sik's throat work as he swallowed hard then nodded. He could see the tension in Dong-Sik, like he expected a bolt of lightning to strike Joo-Won now that his feelings were known. It was clear how much this was costing him, yet he was confessing anyway because he was more concerned with Joo-Won's feelings than his own. 

Joo-Won's reeling mind finally caught up. "You're not asking for anything?" Dong-Sik shook his head. "But it's not that you don't want anything?" Joo-Won clarified. To his surprise, in a reversal of their typical roles, Dong-Sik flushed at the question and his eyes darted away. "What I want isn't relevant. I didn't tell you to ask for anything. I just wanted you to know how much I think of you." Joo-Won was flooded with awe and adoration at the statement. He'd grown up seeing love as a form of manipulation or a currency - something you spend or remind people of to get what you want, a mere tool. Yet before him was Dong-Sik ignoring his own desires and fears because he thought Joo-Won's feelings mattered more. It felt as though his heart was growing from a tight bud protecting itself to a blooming flower opening itself to the sun. 

Joo-Won took a step closer until they were almost chest-to-chest, making Dong-Sik wince internally. Fear told him to tell Joo-Won to stay away for his own safety. "Even after how I treated you?" Joo-Won asked disbelievingly, searching his face with unnerving intensity. The continued doubt that he was forgiven made Dong-Sik look at him without masking his affection for once. "I know who you are," he answered. "I love the man you are." Joo-Won appeared overwhelmed at hearing it spoken, his chest heaving, his mouth dropping open, and eyes sparking with some intense emotion. Dong-Sik remembered that it was the first time he'd ever heard those words said to him. Joo-Won had one more question, "And if I wanted to carry on as normal you'd do that?" Dong-Sik felt pained at the thought but nodded. He would respect whatever Joo-Won wanted.

Then Joo-Won had Dong-Sik gathered up in his arms, his lips soft against his own. Joo-Won kissed his mouth again and again until Dong-Sik broke away to look at him in shock. "You want- do you-" he stumbled over his words, apparently struck speechless for once. Joo-Won cradled his face in one hand while running the other over his jawline and eyebrows, along his cheek - touching everything he'd admired longingly so many times. It was a revelation to finally be able to touch the warm skin. "I want you," he answered Dong-Sik's vague query. "I don't know how to be in a relationship or tell someone what they mean to me or show affection the way you deserve, but if you'll have me anyway I want to be with you. I want you to be mine." His heart felt as though it was breaking and being remade inside his chest. Part of him wanted to cry, part to fuck, part to laugh for joy. 

Dong-Sik was having trouble accepting that this was reality. Joo-Won's hands were gentle on his face, touching him like he was something precious. Dark brown eyes gazed at him with awe and adoration as though the shutters had been thrown open allowing him to see within. God, he didn't want to lose him. It was irrational, he knew it was, but what if Joo-Won died at work because Dong-Sik loved him, because he got what he wanted? Happiness felt so very dangerous to let himself have. "You're shaking so hard," Joo-Won's worried voice broke through his panic. Dong-Sik blinked up to find Joo-Won searching his face with concern, then reaching down to link their hands. Joo-Won's shoulder was solid and reassuring when he pressed his face to it to regain control of his shaky breathing. To finally wrap his arms around Joo-Won... If he could have this even some of the times life was too much it would be everything. 

Joo-Won stroked his fingers soothingly through the curls that had tempted him so many times. "You're that scared of losing me?" He asked softly, the idea making his heart ache. How long had Dong-Sik felt this way for him but kept it to himself out of fear? Dong-Sik continued to cling to him silently, so Joo-Won dropped his questions, allowing him a minute to catch up and compose himself. The smell of the other man was familiar to him now, he realized as he breathed him in. It was a marvel to be able to hold him so close. After a time that could have been hours or minutes Dong-Sik lifted his head, showing tears on his cheeks. Joo-Won brushed the streaks of wetness away then leaned in to press their foreheads together. His heart cried out for the other man, wanting to calm his fears and take care of him. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in a low, deep voice, needing to like he needed water when thirsty. "Whenever you want," Dong-Sik responded desperately, his hands fisting Joo-Won's shirt. "You don't ever have to ask." Swept away on a flood of desire, Joo-Won pulled him in by the waist and neck and pressed their lips together. 

Dong-Sik released a soft sound at Joo-Won's plush mouth touching his own. The tip of his nose touched Dong-Sik's cheek and hair tickled his forehead. Just that was almost unbearably intimate after so much time spent wanting. The taller man kissed with a tenderness Dong-Sik hadn't dared to imagine. It would have driven him insane to allow himself to picture it being like this. He slid his hand into Joo-Won's silky hair and clung to the arm that wrapped around him. God, he was kissing Han Joo-Won! How long had Joo-Won wanted this too? Joo-Won kissed his top lip, then his bottom, before sucking softly at the top one with a small swipe of his tongue over it. Dong-Sik's stomach heated as he opened his mouth for more intimate contact. A hand shifted from his neck to his face to tilt his head the way Joo-Won wanted. Dong-Sik eagerly met his tongue with his own, groaning and jolting with the shock that shot through him when they brushed. 

Stunned, Joo-Won released Dong-Sik's mouth to pant in his face, silently asking if he was the only one left so shaken at tasting the other. Hair slipped through his fingers as his hand trembled. Dong-Sik looked floored as well, his wide eyes searching Joo-Won's. They were together in their feelings. Joo-Won made a stomach punched sound and dragged him back so quickly Dong-Sik stumbled a little, gripping Joo-Won's waist tightly to steady himself. It was so sweet to lick back into Dong-Sik's welcoming mouth Joo-Won could have cried from it. His eyelashes fluttered with pleasure at the taste of the older man. Despite the impression his sarcastic, snarky tongue gave, Dong-Sik kissed with his mouth pliant and sweet, letting Joo-Won take control and move him how he liked. Joo-Won broke away to scan his face and make sure it wasn't Dong-Sik being passive from feeling apologetic. Dong-Sik's eyes were glazed and dark fixed on his mouth. Joo-Won groaned with arousal as he realized this was just how Dong-Sik wanted to be with him. 

To his relief Joo-Won quickly dove back in, bringing his sweet mouth back. Content to be kissed senseless until he could no longer stand up, Dong-Sik wanted to taste him for the rest of time. Then they could kiss lying down, against a wall, on the couch, in the rain, in the shower or maybe a bath... Interrupting his daydreaming, Joo-Won deepened the kiss, sucking on Dong-Sik's tongue then exploring his mouth. Dong-Sik's breaths heaved through his nose as he grew overwhelmed with desire at how beautifully Joo-Won took charge. They were so perfectly compatible. Joo-Won's body radiated heat into him, his warmth seeping into all his cold parts. Dong-Sik wanted to feel that warmth directly on his skin. Joo-Won backed off the kiss somewhat to press small affectionate kisses along his mouth, cheek, and forehead. Butterflies awoke in Dong-Sik's stomach like a teenager at the unexpected affection in the gesture. If emotionally reserved Joo-Won was sweet to him as well as sexy then he was definitely going to die.

Joo-Won pulled his head back enough to look at Dong-Sik's red, plumped lips that were wet with the moisture he himself had left behind. His stomach fluttered at the sight. They were soft with delicate skin as he ran his thumb along them. Air seemed scarce as Dong-Sik allowed him to stroke them. Then, exploding the heat in him into flames, Dong-Sik's tongue darted out to lick the tip and suck it into his mouth. Joo-Won's hips jerked at the wet suction, finding Dong-Sik half hard against him. "Oh god," he gasped, feeling like he was in a dream he'd had so many times. But this was somehow unbelievably real. Dong-Sik nipped at the tip of his thumb, watching him from hooded eyes. They seemed to plead for more while asking what Joo-Won would do about his teasing gesture. In answer Joo-Won grabbed his waist with both hands and kissed him hard while walking him backwards. 

Dong-Sik groaned as he was pressed against a wall, Joo-Won's mouth dominating his own. It sent shivers through him to be trapped between it and Joo-Won's strong and unyielding body. Joo-Won abandoned his lips to mouth along his jaw, nipping at the edge of it. All-consuming want grasped Dong-Sik as Joo-Won sucked on the spot just under his earlobe. How had he found it so quickly? Plenty of his partners never found it in the course of an entire night. His hardness increased as Joo-Won gripped his hair to tilt his head back so he could dip his mouth further down. Dong-Sik breathed heavily at the wet lips that made their way down his neck, pausing to graze teeth over delicate skin then smooth over the spots with tongue. He felt more turned on than he could remember being in years, and they had only made out. "Can I take you to bed?" Joo-Won released his neck to ask. Dong-Sik was momentarily surprised at being asked, as his mind had been screaming that Joo-Won could have him any which way right there against the wall. He struggled for a moment to remember how words worked. 

Joo-Won waited for Dong-Sik's brain to come back online. He couldn't blame the man for his struggle. His own mind felt half crazed, wanting like he hadn't known he could want. "You don't have to ask," Dong-Sik gasped out. "It's always yes." With a groan at the blanket permission, Joo-Won kissed him hard, then pulled him away from the wall to back him around the corner to his bed. His roving hands found Dong-Sik's buttons, yanking on them as he tasted him again and again. Fabric tickled his front as Dong-Sik's trembling hands reached for his shirt as well and fumbled with the buttons. They finally got them all undone and pushed the shirts off the other's shoulders to the floor. Joo-Won normally was very particular about his clothes and clutter, but at the moment he couldn't have cared less about what happened to his shirt. It was utterly insignificant compared to what was happening. 

Joo-Won tugged at his hem, prompting Dong-Sik to lift his arms so he could be undressed. Joo-Won's eyes took him in with such intense hunger it made Dong-Sik wonder how he had missed that Joo-Won wanted him back. Had there been clear signs all along that Dong-Sik doubted or was too distracted to notice? Joo-Won quickly stripped off his own undershirt, making Dong-Sik ask himself how he got lucky enough to touch someone so perfect. A delighted laugh burst from Joo-Won, making Dong-Sik realize he'd said it out loud. Smooth skin twitched under his fingers as he glided his hands over the man's chest and stomach, feeling the muscles just under the warm skin. "You are perfect. You're stunning," Dong-Sik insisted. Joo-Won actually looked shy at the compliment, thrilling Dong-Sik at his ability to get such a reaction. "Why do you wear all those layers when that's what's underneath it?" Dong-Sik asked. The body in front of him was a work of art in his opinion. Joo-Won gave him a flat look. "I'm not interested in showing off to anyone else," he said dryly. No, he was right. It was better this was shown selectively. Dong-Sik brushed his thumb over a nipple, earning a lovely shiver. "I'm alright with this being just for me," he whispered with a wave of possessiveness. 

Joo-Won bent to kiss Dong-Sik's chest, kneeling to work his mouth down his torso. The older man was fit without being too muscular - perfect to Joo-Won. Skin jumped as he kissed and licked at it, hungry to touch everything in reach. Joo-Won wanted to get to know every single inch of him until his body was as familiar as his own. He was hungry, so hungry, and wanting like he'd never experienced. Smooth skin invited his tongue to lave over it until a hand gripped his hair and uneven breaths rasped from the throat above him. Finishing his exploration of Dong-Sik's torso for the time, he stood and pulled Dong-Sik flush against him. "Want you so much," Joo-Won said into his mouth, kissing him again. Then he couldn't hold back, couldn't go slow, his hands roving to stroke and grope every part of Dong-Sik in reach. In his ear Dong-Sik's breath hitched and a small moan spilled from his his throat as Joo-Won squeezed his ass and ground them together. Joo-Won burned at the faint sound, needing to drag more out of him. After another rock of his hips he pushed the older man down onto the bed, crawling over him and lowering his weight on him.

Dong-Sik was on fire at how Joo-Won had let go, his desperation showing clearly. To be the one to make the man lose some of his self-control was a heady experience. His mouth was captured again and again as Joo-Won kissed him deeply. Kiss by kiss they were learning what other liked. Heat consumed him as Joo-Won drew his legs apart, pulling them around his hips as he rocked down with an abandon to his movements. Their hardnesses pressed together exquisitely at the motion. Breathless, Dong-Sik released Joo-Won's mouth to throw back his head, his toes curling in the blankets at the feel of the younger man's cock hard against him. It was dizzying to know that he was the one to make him aroused. The reality of Joo-Won wanting him this much was almost too much for his mind to keep up with. Joo-Won took advantage of his tipped back head, diving in to suck a mark on his upper throat. Dong-Sik moaned at the teeth grazing his skin in such a fragile place, so Joo-Won repeated the action, nipping at him then licking over it and sucking on the spot. It was obvious he was deliberately marking Dong-Sik as he worked his way down. In his heart Dong-Sik felt a pang at the youthful eagerness. The possessiveness of it would have bothered him with anyone else, but from Joo-Won it only warmed him. 

The blooms painted down Dong-Sik's throat made Joo-Won burn. "You're so beautiful," he panted, fascinated by how Dong-Sik flushed red at his words. Dong-Sik had been the one to make him blush so many times it was thrilling to turn things around. "I've thought about this so many times. You're even better than I imagined," he said. His mouth curled upward in satisfaction at the redness flooding down Dong-Sik's chest. Joo-Won pressed his thumb into one of his marks, watching as Dong-Sik's mouth dropped open at the feeling. "You look good like this," Joo-Won murmured with satisfaction at seeing proof of their coupling on his skin. "Barbarian," Dong-Sik snorted. "You realize everyone's going to know what happened the moment they see my neck." Dark eyes met his and asked whether he was really alright with that. Joo-Won trailed his fingers down the row of hickeys. "That's okay. I want everyone to know you're mine," he said in a rough voice. Despite the way he shuddered at his words Dong-Sik still couldn't resist the chance to tease, "Getting possessive already, are we?" Joo-Won kissed his chest, pulling away to ask, "Do you have a problem with that?" Dong-Sik looked slightly embarrassed as he admitted, "Not at all." Joo-Won flashed him a genuinely pleased smile.

Tempted by the small buds, Joo-Won thumbed over his nipples, making them pebble in reaction. Ducking his head, he sucked one into his mouth, moaning at the mere thought of what he was doing. A hand slid into his hair, making his breath catch. "Does it taste that good?" Dong-Sik teased in a breathy voice, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. Reluctantly Joo-Won released his prize to snark back, "I'm sorry, would you prefer I pretend I'm not into it? I could act bored if that's what you're into, or maybe disgusted." Dong-Sik dropped his head back on the pillow with a small laugh. "No, nevermind, don't listen to me," he said. Teasingly, Joo-Won grazed his teeth over the nipple, making Dong-Sik's hips jerk against his stomach. "Don't worry, I rarely do," he joked, making Dong-Sik snort. "Yes, that's the sound I'm trying to get out of you," Joo-Won teased. Laughs burst out of both of them at once. Still sparking with humor, Joo-Won pulled himself back up Dong-Sik's body to kiss him, then propped himself up on an elbow to gaze down at him, stroking his cheek. The older man's eyes sparkled with joy and humor. Joo-Won thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 

Admiring the happiness that shone on his face, Dong-Sik touched a finger to Joo-Won's lips. "I like seeing you smile," he said, quirking a small smile himself in reflection. In his opinion Joo-Won spent far too much time looking solemn. Joo-Won pressed their foreheads together, shutting his eyes. "You make me happy," he whispered. The world stilled as they simply breathed each other in for a minute. Dong-Sik's heart felt like it swelled in his chest at the quiet intimacy of the moment. "Tell me if I do anything you don't like," Joo-Won requested, as he moved back down Dong-Sik's body. A laugh almost leapt out of Dong-Sik at the idea that he could dislike being touched by Joo-Won. The younger man kissed from his chin down the center of his chest to his belly button. Hands ran down his sides and squeezed his hips. Skin jumped as every touch felt like sparks hitting his skin. "How are you so in shape?" Joo-Won asked into Dong-Sik's skin. "I've never seen you work out." Dong-Sik huffed a small laugh at his almost annoyed tone. "Hiking," he answered simply. A finger teased along Dong-Sik's waistband. "Can I take these off?" Joo-Won asked, looking up to meet his eyes. At the question Dong-Sik reached down and squeezed his hand. "Again, you don't have to ask," he said. "Everything is a yes." The answer brought awe to Joo-Won's face, and his hands trembled as he fumbled with the button and zipper. 

"Do you need help?" Dong-Sik teased his excited clumsiness. "You know, if you're a virgin you should tell me." "Oh shut up," Joo-Won grouched, getting a playful laugh. "I've had sex before," he grumbled, tugging at the zipper with uncooperative fingers. "I just didn't care so much about fucking it up with them," he added in a low voice. His teeth worried at his lip as his nerves showed through his want. Feeling warm towards him, Dong-Sik crooked his fingers under his chin to look him in the eye. "If we fuck up we can just try again," he murmured reassuringly. It truly didn't matter to him whether the sex was immediately spectacular or they were awkward at first and worked their way to better sex. The point was being close to the man. Joo-Won curled his fingers around the hand under his chin and brought it to his mouth to kiss each finger. An ache filled Dong-Sik at the sweetness, the open affection of the gesture. He loved Joo-Won so much he felt as if it was too much for his body to contain. Finally finished opening his pants, Joo-Won hooked his fingers in his waistband. At his prompting Dong-Sik lifted his hips so he could drag them down. Joo-Won backed down the bed, pulling them down and off his legs to toss to the floor, then quickly stripped himself of his own pants as well. 

Dong-Sik's eyes roved his newly bared body, clearly admiring what he saw. Joo-Won had been called attractive many times before and never cared. But now he wanted more than anything to be everything Dong-Sik wanted. He wanted to be attractive to him - to turn him on and excite him. Heart racing, Joo-Won took in the other man's body. He had just the right balance of masculinity and was an ideal size. Something about his age and manliness made Joo-Won weak at the knees. Heated eyes scanned his body as he drank in Dong-Sik's. The marks down his throat and the flush of arousal on his chest made Joo-Won desperate to paint him more. His eyes dropped to Dong-Sik's cock standing up hard in a thatch of dark hair. Unexpectedly Joo-Won's mouth watered at the sight. Cocks were usually just a means to an end - a tool - not something he was particularly turned on by. He climbed back into bed, stopping halfway up Dong-Sik's body to kiss his hip. "I'm going to suck you," he promised in a low rough voice. Dong-Sik's cock twitched in response. Joo-Won hovered, watching Dong-Sik's breaths come faster in anticipation. He was captivated by the reactions he could get from him.  

Dong-Sik reached toward the nightstand. "I'll get you a condom," he offered, assuming that even with Joo-Won's progress a bare cock in his mouth would be unappealing. A shiver ran through him as Joo-Won kissed along his thigh. "I've only ever done this with a condom, but..." He trailed off before asking, "Are you clean?" Dong-Sik nodded quickly. It had been a long time since he'd slept around. His focus had been elsewhere for a while, and then he was pining after Joo-Won. "Do you plan on sleeping with anyone else?" Joo-Won asked, his face serious and cautious as he watched Dong-Sik. Dong-Sik shook his head adamantly, and reached down to caress the face that was trying to hide how much he cared about the answer. "Fuck no. You're it for me," he said with conviction. Joo-Won pressed his face into Dong-Sik's hand, closing his eyes as he appeared overwhelmed for a moment. Then he reopened them to fix Dong-Sik with his dark gaze. "Then I don't want a condom. I've never done it without one before. I want to taste you. I want to feel you," he murmured, turning his head to kiss the hand that still touched his face. Feeling a thrill at the hunger in his voice, Dong-Sik spread his legs to make room between them, watching breathlessly as Joo-Won breathed on him. It blew him away that Joo-Won wanted him enough and was comfortable enough with him to forsake his usual rules.

Gripping the base of the cock to hold it steady, Joo-Won started with exploratory licks. It just tasted like skin, but felt much softer than other skin. The velvety skin shifted and slid around the steel it encased. That wasn't something he could feel with a condom on. "Much better than a condom," he decided in a whisper. Joo-Won sucked the tip into his mouth, getting his first taste of something besides skin. While with others the mere thought of it would disgust him, now he curiously licked into the slit in search of more of the new flavor. He was dizzy with the knowledge of how far he had crossed over the line he normally drew for himself. Dong-Sik let out a breathy moan as he dipped into him and sucked. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch, making Joo-Won feel a little self-conscious about how he was doing and what he must look like. Everything about it: the taste, the texture on his tongue, the sounds, were such a turn on. Relaxing his throat, Joo-Won slid down until Dong-Sik was buried to the hilt. That earned a groan and a jerk of hips into his mouth. Joo-Won gripped Dong-Sik's hip to anchor him and caressed the soft skin of his inner thigh with his other hand. With his fingers and mouth occupied, his senses felt surrounded by Dong-Sik. He pulled off after bobbing his head for a minute. "You taste so good," Joo-Won desperately said in a hoarse voice. With a heavy gust of breath, Dong-Sik buried his hand in his hair, lightly scratching his nails along his scalp.

Joo-Won couldn't believe how much he was enjoying going down on Dong-Sik. Not a single thought about germs and cleanliness bothered him. All that mattered was how lovely Dong-Sik felt on his tongue and being able to taste him - to lick the soft skin and suck the pre-come into his mouth. He'd never felt that velvet softness against his tongue or tasted the tangy saltiness of pre-come with anyone else. Dong-Sik had earned a level of comfort and closeness he had never imagined he could reach with anyone. The fact that he was letting himself be so dirty made Joo-Won groan with arousal and reach down to squeeze himself. "Are you getting off on this?" Dong-Sik asked in a surprised voice. Joo-Won pulled off and huffed a soft laugh into his hip. "It's not like this is a chore," he responded. Dong-Sik looked down at him in awe. "It's not messing with your mysophobia?" He asked. Gripping him to move him how he pleased, Joo-Won bent Dong-Sik's knee to open up his inner thigh to his mouth. "You never do," he admitted. "Even early on, I was always grabbing you, getting close." He kissed the delicate skin, dragging his tongue over it then sucking a mark into it. 

Shivers running down his back, Dong-Sik made a quiet sound at the mouth on his thigh. He'd never been particularly sensitive there, but every single touch Joo-Won gave was magic. To be touched by him at all made his heart soar. This was somehow the same man who wouldn't shake a hand. Joo-Won sucked a third mark into his leg. "You're going to turn me into one big hickey," Dong-Sik teased, fondly watching him get very absorbed in his work. Joo-Won released him, brushing his thumb over the mark. "Is this okay?" he asked, suddenly looking a little bashful about how carried away he'd gotten. "I like seeing my marks on you," he confessed softly, glancing up from under his lashes. It was adorable, but Dong-Sik knew better than to say so. It moved him how unusually revealing Joo-Won was willing to be about himself with him. "Of course it's okay. All of it is. It's you touching me - of course I want it," he assured him. Joo-Won's eyes shone as they met Dong-Sik's. A warm cheek rested against his thigh, nuzzling into the skin, eyes fluttering closed as if he relished the contact. It made parts of Dong-Sik's heart stir that he'd thought were long dead. "Can't believe I get to touch you," Joo-Won whispered. He suddenly pulled himself up Dong-Sik's body, pressing kisses to his face. "Dong-Sik," he said shakily. "Oh god. I never want to stop touching you." Dong-Sik's heart gave an echoing pang at the ache of need in Joo-Won's voice and face. 

Joo-Won's hands shook as they smoothed over Dong-Sik's body. He didn't know what he wanted first. He wanted it all at once. He wanted to stay in bed for a month until they'd fucked in every possible way. He wanted to know all the secrets of Dong-Sik's body. He wanted to do things he'd never considered with anyone else. Cradling his face in both hands, Dong-Sik pulled him into a kiss, sucking his lip then licking into his mouth sweetly. "What do you want Joo-Won?" he released his mouth to ask. Joo-Won shook his head at the confusing storm of want inside him, "I don't know. Anything. Everything at once." His eyes searched Dong-Sik's face, silently asking if he was alone in his desperation. Hands clutched his back as Dong-Sik appeared rather overwhelmed himself. The look on his face made Joo-Won remind himself that Dong-Sik was the one who'd gotten up the nerve to make a love confession, who had been willing to accept nothing just so Joo-Won could know he was loved. Joo-Won needed to take care of him and show him he wasn't going anywhere. 

Joo-Won was staring down at him with an almost nerve-wracking intensity. Still half-afraid he would disappear if he let go, Dong-Sik clung to him like a life preserver. Joo-Won ground down against him, making his fears fade to the periphery. He started rocking steadily against Dong-Sik, setting off shocks of arousal in the base of his spine. "I'm going to take care of you," Joo-Won said with such sweet seriousness it made Dong-Sik's heart melt. Leaning close to breathe each other in for a moment, Joo-Won softly kissed his cheek. "Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked. Nodding hard, Dong-Sik shuddered at hearing those words come from Joo-Won. "Yes, god yes," he said as he exploded with want. All at once he acutely felt how empty he was. "Need lube," Joo-Won panted, still rocking against him. Dong-Sik scooted out from under him to reach into the nightstand for the supplies, assuming it's where they would be kept. Finding supplies, he turned back to find Joo-Won on his knees, his hard cock in hand, eyes burning while admiring Dong-Sik. He approached on his own knees and gripped Joo-Won by the waist and neck, kissing him hard. All their pent up want finally spilling out, they kissed desperately, Joo-Won palming his ass while Dong-Sik ran his hands over the body he wanted so much.

Joo-Won gently pushed Dong-Sik back onto the bed. "Would this be better on your front or back?" he asked. Dong-Sik answered right away, "I want to be able to kiss you." That and the way he was gazing up at him made Joo-Won's heart stutter. Filled with affection, he kissed Dong-Sik from his mouth to his ear. A hand reached between them, Dong-Sik saying, "I'll prep myself so you don't have to touch." Joo-Won blanked for a moment, then realized what he was saying and tugged his hand away from his ass. "No, I want to," he said strongly. Dong-Sik looked truly surprised. "You actually want to touch..." Dong-Sik trailed off in disbelief. "It's part of you. I want to touch every bit of you. I want to take care of you," Joo-Won explained. The look on Dong-Sik's face turned to amazement, and he dragged Joo-Won into a deep kiss. Trying to focus on both actions at once, Joo-Won felt for his balls, then reached behind them to trace away. It was an awkward angle, so he bent both of Dong-Sik's legs and spread them open, then tore himself from Dong-Sik's mouth to rock back on his knees to watch as he traced his finger over the hole. 

Joo-Won had never touched this part of someone with his hands or even his skin, having always asked partners to prepare themselves. His fingertips traced over the furls, feeling the tightness of the closure. As he gazed down at Dong-Sik he felt a strange softness inside him that only seemed to come up around the other man. Dong-Sik's breaths were quick, his cock twitching occasionally as Joo-Won teased his hole with light exploration. Joo-Won removed his fingers to coat them with lube, feeling Dong-Sik's eyes on him. "Joo-Won ah," he breathed as a slick finger was pressed against him. "Come on, hurry up," he complained. "Don't rush me," Joo-Won ordered. "I don't want to hurt you." Dong-Sik shifted impatiently against his fingers. "Just get a couple of fingers in then you can fuck me. I'll be fine," he said insistently. Determined to take his time, Joo-Won ignored his fussing and wrapped a hand around his cock, slowly stroking as he pressed the tip of his finger inside. "I'm going to take as long as it takes," he said firmly. "I'm going to open you up until I'm sure I won't hurt you."

With a huff Dong-Sik rolled his eyes, ignoring the feelings welling up in him at Joo-Won's care. "I'm not a virgin," he griped. "I can take it. Don't you want to go ahead and fuck me?" Joo-Won pushed his finger the rest of the way in, slowly thrusting it. The feeling of the man he loved gently probing into him made Dong-Sik's stomach flutter for a brief moment. "Of course I want to fuck you," Joo-Won said patiently. "But I also want to take care of you. This isn't a one night stand or a hookup in a bar. I care about you and I'm going to treat you right." The feelings he'd been pushing aside overflowed at Joo-Won's words. He was being so gentle and tender in a way Dong-Sik had never experienced during sex. His heart felt expanded to the point of bursting. It ached enough to make his hand clutch at his chest as though to reach inside and soothe it. Joo-Won pressed a second finger into him, twisting his hand as they pumped slowly. With his other hand he stroked Dong-Sik's leg and hip. Biting his lip to hold in his feelings, Dong-Sik's eyes pricked with tears. Part of him wanted Joo-Won to just flip him over and fuck him into the mattress, another wanted to release his pent up feelings and let himself have this. A small sob broke its way out.

Startled by the sound, Joo-Won's head jerked up. Dong-Sik's eyes were swimming and his breath hitching like he was fighting to not cry. Needing to reassure Dong-Sik and himself, Joo-Won draped himself over the man to hold his face. "Dong-Sik? Did I do something wrong? Should I stop?" he asked worriedly. Dong-Sik shook his head, the movement making tears come free. Joo-Won brushed them away gently as they came. "Don't stop," Dong-Sik said brokenly. Joo-Won felt lost and unsure of what to do or what brought this on. He wished he had more experience comforting people. Dong-Sik clutched at him, visibly fighting to find his words. "Sorry," he said, indicating his tears. Brow creasing with concern, Joo-Won shook his head, "Don't apologize." "You're being so gentle," Dong-Sik tried to explain, a look of frustration coming over him as he struggled. "I've never had sex like this." He paused, brushing his hand over Joo-Won's face. "I've never had sex with someone I love," he said. "It's a lot." Joo-Won understood then that it was Dong-Sik feeling too much to contain. He hadn't come here expecting this. He didn't think his luck allowed something like this in his life. Joo-Won's heart expanded as though to envelop Dong-Sik.

Brushing their lips together, Joo-Won started pumping his fingers again, scissoring them to stretch Dong-Sik. He wanted to bring him all the pleasure in the world. Feeling how soft Dong-Sik was, he breathed hard at being allowed to touch him so intimately. His hot, smooth walls squeezed Joo-Won's fingers. God, it felt amazing. Why did he ever think this was gross? It was mind-blowingly intimate to be inside Dong-Sik, to feel him without a barrier. Joo-Won could feel him gradually getting looser, letting him in. He groaned as he plunged his fingers deep, reaching further inside Dong-Sik. Finally offering more stimulation, he pressed upwards, making Dong-Sik writhe on his fingers as he touched his prostate. "Jesus, Joo-Won ah!" he cried out, panting in the aftermath of the shock. He was so beautiful when caught up in his pleasure. "You feel so good," Joo-Won groaned. Hands gripping his back, Dong-Sik looked up at him in wonder. "You like it?" he marveled like it was hard to believe. Joo-Won pressed his face to his neck. "You're so hot and soft inside," he whispered into his ear. Nails dug into his back for a brief flash, then hands smoothed over him as Dong-Sik let out a shaky breath and relaxed further around his fingers. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Joo-Won seemed as overwhelmed as Dong-Sik felt himself. After all, the man was unused to such intimate touch, much less affectionate touch. Relaxing his body against the smooth, likely wildly expensive sheets on the bed, Dong-Sik let himself get lost in the feeling of Joo-Won's fingers thrusting deep, gradually stretching him open. He brushed over his prostate every few passes, making Dong-Sik moan or gasp each time. Every sound that spilled from his mouth got a look of amazement from Joo-Won, as though it was hard to believe Dong-Sik could enjoy being touched by him. While Joo-Won worked his hole Dong-Sik touched him everywhere he could reach. The thought sprang to mind unwanted: how after losing someone details fade away until they're a blur just out of reach. Unable to shake it, Dong-Sik made a study of touching and watching Joo-Won, memorizing every detail until it was seared into his memory.

Fingers pumping inside him, Joo-Won sealed their mouths together, softly stroking his tongue over Dong-Sik's. His taste was another thing to memorize, along with the way he changed his kisses every time - eagerly trying to learn what Dong-Sik liked best. Joo-Won seemed wholly devoted to Dong-Sik's pleasure, studying his reactions intently until he got the one he was looking for. It throbbed in Dong-Sik's chest the way he looked down at him, his eyes asked if he was doing it right, if he was pleasing him. Greed set in. Determination to be happy with what he could get flew away. Dong-Sik wanted to have this every day. There could never be enough of this. Joo-Won had implied he was interested in a relationship. After all, he'd said he wanted Dong-Sik to be his. Dong-Sik needed to be absolutely sure though. "Want this every day. I want to be with you," he broke away to say. Joo-Won stroked his thumb over his cheek, beaming a brightly pleased smile. "I want that too," he said, his deep voice even lower than normal. At the assurance Dong-Sik relaxed into the pillow and let his bent leg fall open to the side.

As he continued to work Dong-Sik open more thoroughly than might have been strictly necessary, Joo-Won couldn't tear his eyes from Dong-Sik's face, watching every flicker of arousal. Waves of intense emotion passed over it every now and then as he gazed up at Joo-Won. Multiple times his eyes reddened or shone with unshed tears, Joo-Won's heart squeezing every time. Clearly getting to have this was shaking him to his core. The thought that he had been sitting next to Joo-Won wanting him just as much was hard to process. Suddenly he needed to know, asking, "How long?" Caught up in his arousal, Dong-Sik looked confused, so Joo-Won clarified, "How long have you wanted this?" To Joo-Won's delight Dong-Sik actually looked rather bashful. "I wanted to fuck you from day one," he confessed with a small laugh. Then his face grew serious, his hand coming up to stroke Joo-Won's face as he said, "I realized I loved you when you went to the chief's house in my place and scared the shit out of me." Joo-Won softened at the memory of Dong-Sik's terrified face turning to relief when he saw Joo-Won, and the anger he'd shown when he realized Joo-Won had done it for him, as though he wasn't worth it.

In the face of the openness and vulnerability Dong-Sik was showing, Joo-Won felt willing to share as well. "I wanted you too," he admitted, Dong-Sik looking somewhat unsurprised. He had been rather obvious, he supposed. "You were so attractive it drove me crazy. I didn't want to want you. Then I realized I was wrong about you and started to care about you. I wanted you so much, but I didn't know how to say it or show it. After how I treated you I didn't think I'd be any good for you." The reminder of how he'd treated the kind, good man in his arms made him feel small in his meanness. But then Dong-Sik kissed him softly and slowly, dragging his lips over Joo-Won's in ways that gave him shivers until he felt like he could float off the bed. "You're what I want," Dong-Sik said in a sure voice, gripping the back of his neck. "You make me happy. Don't doubt that you're good for me." Overcome by his ability to forgive and his capacity to love after all he'd been through, Joo-Won pressed his face to his chest to compose himself. He kissed Dong-Sik's throat desperately, mouthing along his jaw and trailing kisses from his cheek back to his mouth. "I'm ready," Dong-Sik said in voice strained with arousal. 

Joo-Won finally slid his fingers out, leaving Dong-Sik feeling starkly empty. Joo-Won sat back to put a condom on, his chest heaving despite their lazy motions up to that point. Dong-Sik felt so much anticipation he could hardly stand it. He wanted Joo-Won close, as close as possible. He needed him buried inside to release the knot of desire that had been in him for so long. Sex had always been a release of tension, a way to feel something else for a time, but now Dong-Sik wanted it for closeness and affection. But how much affection would Joo-Won be willing to accept from him? After slicking himself Joo-Won lay over Dong-Sik propped up on an elbow. Dong-Sik hooked his legs around his waist to pull him in. His stomach fluttered as he felt the head of Joo-Won's cock nudge against his hole. "Joo-Won," he croaked, too desperate to wait another second. Joo-Won pushed until the head popped inside, and Dong-Sik clutched him with a groan of relief at the stretch. Trying to draw him further in, he pressed his heels into Joo-Won's ass and shifted under him. Stubbornly ignoring his attempts, Joo-Won pushed in so slowly, like he didn't want to break Dong-Sik - as though Dong-Sik wasn't already a broken thing. 

The gentle way he handled him almost fooled Dong-Sik for a second. He rocked his way in bit by bit, treating Dong-Sik like something worth caring for. Dong-Sik clutched Joo-Won's hair and ass as he finally bottomed out. As Dong-Sik shuddered at the fullness Joo-Won released a breath like he'd been holding it. Taking great heaving gulps of air, he buried his face in the pillow next to Dong-Sik's head. Squeezing around the length Dong-Sik could feel him so deep, much deeper than his fingers had reached. The cock had him perfectly filled and stretched. A tear slid down his temple, disbelieving that it was Joo-Won inside him, that he was actually getting to have this. When Joo-Won lifted his head his own eyes were red and watery. Dong-Sik stared at him in amazement, dazed by the thought that Joo-Won was equally affected. "Dong-Sik," Joo-Won said thickly. "I love you too. I should have said it right away. I've never said it before. I was scared. But you should know, I need you to know I love you too." Struck speechless, Dong-Sik's ears buzzed, dazed by the words. With a desperate sound he dragged Joo-Won's face to his to kiss him thoroughly and spill soft sounds into his mouth.

Recovering some of his mental faculties, Joo-Won shifted, withdrawing most of the way before slowly pushing back in. Dong-Sik groaned into his mouth at being filled, the vibrations buzzing in his lips. Their tears transferred to each other's cheeks as they kissed. Joo-Won's heart felt full to bursting at the knowledge that he was inside Dong-Sik, that he was allowed to touch him like this while knowing they loved each other. It was too much to process, too much to contain. Needing to see his face, Joo-Won released Dong-Sik's mouth. There were tears sparkling in his eyes and dampening his cheeks. Being inside Dong-Sik was so much more intense than Joo-Won had been prepared for. The hot walls of his hole gripped him so tightly: trying to keep him inside as he withdrew, then welcoming him home as he sank in. Joo-Won exhaled shakily and blinked away more tears as he slid out and in over and over; Dong-Sik sucking him in every time like he needed him inside himself to be complete. Every time he slid back in Dong-Sik made a soft sound that made Joo-Won dizzy with lust. 

Calloused fingers wiped away the tears on his cheeks while the eyes beneath him gazed up at him like he was a miracle. Joo-Won felt entirely undeserving of such devotion, but like Dong-Sik said: he made him happy. Dong-Sik should have whatever made him happy, even if they were undeserving. "You feel so good," Joo-Won panted. "Fuck, Dong-Sik, you're even better than I imagined." He gripped Dong-Sik's thigh that was hooked over his hip and added quietly, "And I imagined this a lot." Making his head swim with lust, Dong-Sik actually whined, shifting under him until Joo-Won had to think unpleasant thoughts. "Faster," he pleaded. "I need more. Come on, can't you fuck harder than this?" Joo-Won continued to thrust slowly, savoring every moment of the slide. He knew how he wanted their first time to go. Dong-Sik had let himself be vulnerable confessing his love, but that was because it was for Joo-Won's sake. He couldn't handle being taken care of himself. "Be patient," Joo-Won admonished. "I'm not interested in fucking you senseless. We can do that another time. I want to be good to you." He cupped Dong-Sik's cheek as he felt every drag, every clench and watched the reactions dance over Dong-Sik's face. 

Dong-Sik could hardly stand the gentle care Joo-Won was handling him with. The way he was being so unbearably tender made him feel exposed and torn open. Didn't Joo-Won know he was unworthy of such treatment? Hard fucks were all he knew. This gentleness was for people far less damaged. Carding fingers through his hair as his other hand gripped his thigh for leverage, Joo-Won breathed hard above him, gazing down at him with the love he'd confessed shining in his eyes. Dong-Sik truly hadn't expected to hear him say the words. The fact that he was the first person Joo-Won had ever said them to in any context... He moaned as Joo-Won filled him again. A hand dropped to his hip, holding him in place as Joo-Won pressed deeper inside him than before. He shifted the angle around until he ground against his prostate from deep inside. A jolt shot up Dong-Sik's spine and a loud cry tore from his mouth, surprising even himself. Face shifting to determination, Joo-Won ground his hips in little circles, digging as deep as possible. Dong-Sik felt him in places that had never been touched. There was an ache in him that was being soothed, a knot slowly unraveling as they touched. He felt something inside himself let go.

Trying to keep the angle just right, Joo-Won shifted his grip on Dong-Sik's thigh. To his alarm Dong-Sik stiffened, looking suddenly wary. "What did I do?" Joo-Won asked, pausing his motions. Anxiety flickered in him at the thought that he might have done something to hurt him. Dong-Sik's eyes dropped to his thigh where the hand gripped him. Joo-Won's eyes followed, understanding his discomfort as he realized his hand was covering the gunshot scar. "Am I hurting you?" He asked worriedly, loosening his grip and scanning Dong-Sik's face for any sign of pain. Dong-Sik hesitantly shook his head. "I've just never been touched there," he said, his voice tense and awkward in a way Joo-Won couldn't interpret. "Should I not?" He asked, sliding his hand above the scar, wanting to respect whatever boundaries Dong-Sik had. Taking a shaky breath, Dong-Sik covered his hand with his own. "It doesn't bother you?" He asked. "Touching it?" Joo-Won was thrown by the question. "Why would it?" Dong-Sik looked almost shy, which Joo-Won would have found adorable were it not for the situation. He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "People tend to avoid it," he explained. "Usually makes them uncomfortable." 

Shame pricked at him as Joo-Won's eyes dropped back to the scar. It stood out obviously on his skin, a stark reminder of his failures and brokenness. Joo-Won pulled his hand out from under Dong-Sik's and traced a finger over the ridges and the lines from surgery. As he watched him Dong-Sik held his breath waiting for a reaction. But Joo-Won didn't look disgusted, only softly curious. Something that had been locked up in Dong-Sik released at the easy acceptance. Joo-Won's gaze shifted back to his eyes, his own tender. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable. It's part of you," he said simply. A ragged breath released at that, tears shaken free of his eyes disappearing into his hair. Handling him delicately, Joo-Won kissed his wet temple then his mouth, starting off chaste and innocent before slowly and carefully licking into it like it was their first kiss. Dong-Sik felt an almost physical ache at the sweetness of it, Joo-Won's mouth so soft and relaxed against his own. He was reminded of Joo-Won's presence in him as he lifted his head into the kiss. Trying to feel him more fully, Dong-Sik clenched around him, drawing a sharp groan from Joo-Won. 

Breathless and overflowing with affection, Joo-Won withdrew then thrusted harder than he had before. The stimulation made Dong-Sik groan in relief. As he fucked him steadily, Joo-Won mouthed along the underside of his jaw and down his neck. He made sure to hit the right spot again and again until Dong-Sik was gasping and making the sweetest sounds Joo-Won had ever heard. He was on fire for the man, his skin flaming everywhere they touched, blood pounding in his ears. He would never have enough of this. "Oh my god," Dong-Sik moaned, his hand tightly gripping the pillow under his head. His heels dug into Joo-Won's ass, holding him close. Joo-Won combed his fingers into Dong-Sik's hair then tightly gripped the strands. Apparently liking that, Dong-Sik let out a filthy moan and tilted his chin up. Joo-Won's hands shook as they clung to Dong-Sik's thigh and hair. Being inside him felt both unreal and yet more real and vivid than anything ever had. "Oh god! Hyung!" he cried out as he thrust. Dong-Sik writhed on his cock, his head thrown back in ecstacy. "Oh fuck, you called me..." Dong-Sik trailed off, too breathless to continue. "You're so beautiful," Joo-Won panted, feeling Dong-Sik clench around him in response - a truly glorious feeling.

Burning at the reaction, Joo-Won set out to get more, wanting to pull every possible sound and response from Dong-Sik. "I've been wanting this so bad," he confessed in his ear. "I've gotten myself off imagining this so many times." Dong-Sik groaned, "Oh fuck, me too." Joo-Won felt a shiver run up his spine at the mental image that conjured. Raising himself up, he watched Dong-Sik's face as he brought him pleasure. "You're so fucking hot," he continued. Dong-Sik's face lost in arousal looked even better than what he had pictured so many times. As Dong-Sik dropped his hand between them to stroke himself, Joo-Won grabbed him by the wrist and pinned it by his head. "Keep it there," he panted quietly but firmly, determined to get him off himself. The soft whine of complaint from Dong-Sik turned to a groan of relief as Joo-Won wrapped his hand around him. "Are you close?" He asked. Frantic sounds of affirmation rumbled in Dong-Sik's throat as he dug his short nails into Joo-Won's back. The little pricks of pain just made Joo-Won feel more desperate at the proof of how carried away Dong-Sik was. 

Dong-Sik felt like he was floating away on a cloud of bliss. Joo-Won filling him just right while gripping him perfectly and sharing words of desire with him was stripping him away until he was just his pleasure. "Fuck!" He cried out on a particularly well-aimed thrust. "You feel so good in me, Joo-Won." His words sounded slurred like he was drunk on Joo-Won. "So full." The younger man gripped his hip so tightly there would probably be finger shaped bruises there the next day. The thought thrilled Dong-Sik. "Fuck, I'm so close," Joo-Won said in a wobbly voice. He pressed deeply into Dong-Sik, grinding his hips in small circles, stimulating Dong-Sik almost more than he could bear. "Oh god, Joo-Won!" Dong-Sik managed to wheeze before his vision whited out and he felt like he'd been shocked in the spine. His hips jerked as his body was locked in a spasm. Through his dim remaining awareness he heard Joo-Won cursing as he clamped down on him. After an unknown amount of time flying in ecstacy, Dong-Sik limply sank back against the bed, his legs trembling hard around Joo-Won's waist. As he regained awareness he felt Joo-Won's face pressed to his neck, panting hot air against it. Dong-Sik could feel shudders running through the body that lay on his, and realized Joo-Won must have come when he did. 

Joo-Won felt boneless, like everything hard in him had melted away when he came. He could feel Dong-Sik's legs shaking around him, and his own arms shook so hard he didn't know how he would get the condom off. But he didn't want to worry about that yet. They were both sweaty, so he should have found it gross to be pressed together, but instead he felt only deeply satisfied and euphoric. Weakly Joo-Won placed wet, open mouth kisses on Dong-Sik's neck. "I've never come so hard," he mumbled into his skin. "Not even close." Dong-Sik's trembling hand lazily carded through his sweaty hair. Joo-Won lay there until he worried he was too heavy, then he slid out and tied off the condom, dropping it into the trash. Kneeling on the bed he took in Dong-Sik's form. He had come on his stomach, his chest still heaved, his hair was in total disarray, and he looked half conscious. A head rush hit Joo-Won at the knowledge that he had done that. He reached for wipes, cleaning off his stomach and Dong-Sik's. That wouldn't typically be close to enough for Joo-Won to feel clean, but his priorities were different now. Dong-Sik's eyelids fluttered at the touch, and he reached out to tug Joo-Won down against his side. Giving in easily, Joo-Won slung a leg and arm across him, holding him securely. This was normally when he'd be out the door. This kind of touch was entirely new to him.

Dong-Sik didn't think he'd ever been left so satisfied by sex. After his hookups he always felt an emptiness - something hollow and lonely that hadn't been fulfilled by the experience. Now, with Joo-Won's warm breath tickling his ear, snuggling him like he was certain the man had never snuggled anyone else, he felt a deep contentment. As though echoing his thoughts, Joo-Won whispered, "I didn't know I could feel like that." Dong-Sik rolled onto his side to face him, resting his hand on Joo-Won's neck. "Like what?" He asked, his voice hoarse from the moans that had been dragged out of him like never before. Skin twitched as Joo-Won traced his fingers over his chest lightly enough to almost tickle. "So close to someone. So intimate. So good," he murmured, then looked Dong-Sik in the eye. "Not overthinking, just enjoying myself. I didn't think I could do that." Joo-Won gazed at him for a moment, then blinked and with a look of slight concern asked, "Was it good for you too?" There was no fighting it, Dong-Sik couldn't help but laugh. He would have assumed with anyone else that they were joking or fishing for compliments, but Joo-Won looked so earnest in wanting to be sure. He pouted at being laughed at, only succeeding in making Dong-Sik laugh even more. 

Joo-Won scowled at Dong-Sik, who was far too amused by his serious question. "I just wanted to be sure," he muttered. Still grinning, Dong-Sik pulled him into a kiss. Joo-Won had never kissed someone who was smiling. "Aigoo, you silly man," he teased. "Was almost making me pass out not enough of a clue?" All at once Dong-Sik's face softened, his thumb stroking the side of his neck. "Good enough to repeat a few hundred times at least," he said with an affectionate smile. Joo-Won warmed down to his toes at the words. With a small sound in his throat, he kissed Dong-Sik until they were both breathless all over again. Then he put on an expression of mock concern to ask, "Are you sure you're up for that? You need to take care of your heart at this stage of your life." "Yah!" Dong-Sik shouted, pulling the pillow out from under his head to smack Joo-Won with, making him laugh. "What? I'm just trying to look out for you," Joo-Won objected. "If we're going to do this a few hundred more times we should get on that before you can't get it up anymore." Dong-Sik gaped at him in shock. "Maybe I've changed my mind after this, you little shit!" He exclaimed. 

Joo-Won's eyes sparkled with humor and joy. "No, no, I'm sorry. Don't make me go back to my imagination and my hand," he protested. Dong-Sik dramatically rolled his eyes. "Aish, kids these days. 'No, don't make me use my imagination'," he joked. Incredulously Joo-Won raised his eyebrows, questioning, "Then you're fine with going back to your hand?" Dong-Sik failed to come up with a joke in the face of that awful thought. Joo-Won had ruined him for anyone else. "Mm, that's what I thought," Joo-Won snickered. They paused their teasing to stare at each other, a hush falling over the room as their faces softened into affection together. To Dong-Sik's surprise and delight, Joo-Won moved first, squeezing his hand and shyly whispering, "I love you." Dong-Sik felt like a field sprouting new life after years of sitting barren. Such joy felt foreign and out of place in his life, but he clung to it with everything in him. He kissed Joo-Won's lips again and again, pulling him close so they were wrapped around each other. Touching him lightly, Joo-Won brushed his hand over Dong-Sik's neck. "You're covered in marks," he said a little sheepishly. Delighted, Dong-Sik grinned at Joo-Won's lack of self-control in making them. It was nice to know there was a way to make the young man loosen up. "I'm not complaining," Dong-Sik said.  

Joo-Won traced his fingers from mark to mark, connecting them like a constellation. It felt like something a teenager would do - putting hickeys on someone to prove they're yours, but he still planned on creating far more patterns in the future. Dong-Sik smirked at him, commenting, "It's nice to know there's a way to make you lose that self-control. Apparently all it requires is me taking my shirt off." Joo-Won flushed at the teasing, but quirked a smile. "No, I'm pretty sure you with all your clothes on could do that too," he admitted, thinking about the first time he saw Dong-Sik in the rain. He bit his lip at the memory, and imagined what he'd do if he saw Dong-Sik like that now. The wet hair, the smile, the clingy shirt showing off his chest... A poke in the side rudely yanked him out of the daydream. "Are you fantasizing about me when I'm right here?" Dong-Sik asked in an offended tone. Joo-Won laughed softly, "Maybe. If you have a problem with that then stop being hot all the time." To his absolute joy, Dong-Sik blushed lightly at the compliment. "Something is wrong with you," he muttered. "Attracted to a crazy old man." Joo-Won kissed him briefly. "I guess you'll just have to accept that I have flaws," he joked.

Joo-Won's happiness was contagious, setting off a flight of butterflies in Dong-Sik that made him feel like a teenager again. He huffed a quiet laugh at how much he felt like someone experiencing a first crush. Even though he'd been through so much, being in love was utterly new to him. Joo-Won looked questioning, curious about what had made him laugh. "I feel like a kid," Dong-Sik poorly explained. After glancing down at their naked bodies, Joo-Won raised an appalled eyebrow at him. Dong-Sik laughed, "Okay, that came out wrong. I meant I feel young again: getting butterflies every time you look at me and feeling like I'm going to spontaneously combust when you touch me like a kid with a first crush. I thought I was too old and broken to feel like this." Joo-Won's eyes shone at him with so much affection Dong-Sik's heart jumped so hard he thought for a moment he might be dying. "So I'm not the only one feeling those things?" Joo-Won asked. "I thought I was going to catch you on fire from the moment I kissed you. Then when I was inside you... God..." He trailed off, apparently struck speechless by the memory. 

Joo-Won felt so amazed that Dong-Sik experienced what he did, that they were together in this new and unfamiliar situation. He tangled their fingers together and held Dong-Sik's hand to his chest, wishing he could plunge it inside and give him his heart. After all it already belonged to him. That sounded too sappy to say out loud though. It was bad enough that he'd even thought it. Joo-Won closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, his emotions feeling like too much for his body to contain. All at once Joo-Won's throat grew thick with tears. He was inexpressibly grateful to have this. He swore to himself he wouldn't take a moment of it for granted. His eyes fluttered back open when Dong-Sik's fingers gently brushed down the side of his face. Dong-Sik looked questioning, so he tried to find words to explain. Instinct still told him to keep his feelings to himself, but after how Dong-Sik had shared, and with his own desire to correct his personal failings and make this a healthy, lasting relationship, he swore to himself he would be open about what he was feeling. "It feels like I'm going to burst," Joo-Won said in an unsteady voice. "I've never felt so much. I didn't know I could." He clenched Dong-Sik's hand tightly, trying to anchor himself as he drowned in the flood of emotion. 

Dong-Sik could see how overwhelmed Joo-Won was by the intensity of what he was feeling. He loved him so much it hurt, like a wound in his chest where his heart had flown after Joo-Won. He tilted his head to slot his lips with Joo-Won's, passing them over each other for a minute. As he tasted Joo-Won's lips he melted in awe when they opened for him like a blossom, welcoming the intimacy. At the invitation Dong-Sik slid his tongue over Joo-Won's, savoring his sweet taste. Kissing his cheek before pulling back, he released him to find Joo-Won's eyes looked glassy and almost high. Dong-Sik couldn't help but feel rather proud that he could induce that. "If that was supposed to help me feel less it didn't work," Joo-Won joked through his daze. "No, that was just because I wanted to," Dong-Sik said with a smile. Joo-Won's face also broke into a pleased smile. "That's a reason I'll be using a lot in the future," he said. Dong-Sik thrilled inside at the idea. "Any time you want," he promised, hoping Joo-Won took him up on that. The last thing he wanted was for Joo-Won to shut down after this, frightened by the intensity of his new feelings.

Joo-Won pictured it: reading next to Dong-Sik and leaning in for a kiss just because he felt like it; cooking together and pinning Dong-Sik against the counter to kiss him; going on a hike and kissing him in the middle of the woods; greeting him with a kiss after a long day at work. He paused his daydreaming. Would that be too much to ask for? What if Dong-Sik didn't want Joo-Won all over him all of the time? He framed his uncertainty as a joke said with a small forced laugh, "If I do it any time I want I might get annoying." Dong-Sik looked at him like he saw right through him. "You could glue yourself to me and it wouldn't be too much," Dong-Sik assured him with a squeeze to his waist. The words gave Joo-Won a rush of warmth. "I think that might be too much for my boss though," he joked. Dong-Sik pretended to think it over. "On the other hand you'd have two heads - double the thinking power," he pointed out very seriously. Joining in, Joo-Won hummed in consideration, concluding, "Yes, but I'd be significantly slower in the field. It would be like a three legged race." Dong-Sik screwed up his face in thought. "Imagine how culprits would react, though. They'd have a moment of so much confusion we'd be able to catch them easier," he argued. 

Joo-Won laughed out loud. "Okay, you won me over. I'll pitch the idea tomorrow," he said. Dong-Sik nodded in approval. "Just make sure you give me the credit I'm due," he demanded. Joo-Won's eyes sparked with amusement in the most beautiful way, Dong-Sik thought to himself. There's no way he would never get sick of looking at him. Joo-Won opened his mouth then hesitated a moment before trying again, speaking awkwardly, "So when I give you credit what should I call you? My boyfriend? My partner?" Delighted, Dong-Sik's face broke into a smile at the question and Joo-Won's cute shyness about asking it. "Partner does have a certain ring to it. But then again in your line of work it comes with other connotations," he thought out loud. "I'm not against boyfriend." Joo-Won reddened slightly as he nodded in agreement. Enjoying his blushes, Dong-Sik prodded for more. "So what should I call you then?" He asked. Joo-Won looked confused, so he clarified, "Honey? Baby? Darling?" "Oh my god," Joo-Won groaned in horror, turning bright red as he buried his face in his hand. Dong-Sik grinned with pride at the effect he could have. He had always enjoyed riling Joo-Won up, and the fact he could now do it with mushiness was a bonus on top of everything else. 

Joo-Won could feel how much Dong-Sik was enjoying his misery, the sadist. "Or maybe you want something less traditional." Oh great, he wasn't finished tormenting him. "Gummy bear? Honeycomb? Angel face?" How did he even come up with those off the top of his head? "Shut up," Joo-Won groaned through his fingers. "Those are all awful. What is wrong with you?" Dong-Sik hummed, "So the traditional ones are better then? Let's see, what's left? Love? Sugar? Sweetheart-" He broke off with a raised eyebrow at the betraying twitch of Joo-Won's body. Dammit, he should have better control of himself. He clapped a hand to his face as though that would disguise his reaction. When he remained hidden, Dong-Sik insistently tugged his hand away from his face. Joo-Won cringed as he tried to prepare a convincing lie. There was no way he was an endearment person; he wasn't! But it was hard to deny the way his stomach had flooded with heat and his heart had melted into a puddle at the word. Dong-Sik didn't need to know that though. "Oh my god, you liked that one!" Dong-Sik crowed in delight. "What? No I didn't!" Joo-Won lied poorly. Dong-Sik grinned, then leaned in and whispered, "I love you, sweetheart." 

Joo-Won jerked against him, almost banging their heads together, making Dong-Sik laugh. "That- that's cheating!" He sputtered indignantly. "That was because of you saying love, not the name!" Realizing he was right, Dong-Sik rolled his eyes, having to concede the point. "Okay, fine, I'll have to test again," he agreed. "What? No, that's not what I meant!" Joo-Won exclaimed. Dong-Sik stroked his side then cupped his face, straightening his own out into a more earnest expression. "Sweetheart," he breathed. Joo-Won went red right down his chest, rolling away from him onto his back and covering his face with both hands this time. "Don't make fun of me," he pleaded in a muffled voice. "I can't help it." With a small pang over his sensitive boyfriend, Dong-Sik softened at his embarrassment becoming more pressing. He scooted over and wrapped his arm around Joo-Won's middle, who, he was surprised to find, was lightly shaking. Maybe he'd pushed too far for how new and hard accepting affection was for Joo-Won. "I'm not mocking you," Dong-Sik said gently. "You're just cute when you blush, that's all." He ran his hand through Joo-Won's hair soothingly. "I wouldn't make fun of you for real, not for something like this. I promise," Dong-Sik assured him with a kiss to his head. 

Hesitantly Joo-Won removed his hands from his face so he could examine Dong-Sik's for sincerity. He looked earnest and concerned that he'd caused hurt again. Joo-Won sighed at his reaction and sensitivity. "I don't know why I reacted so strongly," he muttered apologetically. "The others were ridiculous, but then that one made me feel almost like I did when you first said you loved me." He struggled to swallow as a lump rose in his throat. Dong-Sik being affectionate would have brought him to his knees if he had been standing. It left him deeply shaken to an extent he couldn't explain. "I don't-" Joo-Won took a breath as his voice cracked, "I don't understand why I felt so overwhelmed by it." Dong-Sik tucked a finger under his chin, turning his face towards him. His eyes were kind and understanding in a way that cut into Joo-Won with their gentleness. "Of course it's a lot. I shouldn't have pushed you before you were ready. You went from never loved to someone in love with you and showing affection in a matter of hours," Dong-Sik said quietly. "I know it's hard for you with how unused to all this you are. We can slow down if you need."

Joo-Won shook his head firmly. "I don't want you to slow down or have to be careful with me," he insisted. "I just can't deal with being mocked about that. I know I react too strongly. I'm not used to any affection. You can push me, just as long as you don't make fun." It was clear for Dong-Sik to see his remaining embarrassment and his belief that there was something shameful about his previous lack of affection. He struggled for a moment to think of how to help him see that it wasn't a problem. "There's nothing wrong with reacting to it. This is so new to you. There's nothing wrong with you," he assured him softly. Joo-Won chewed his lip and looked at him warily like he was searching for a sign of deception. Determined to ease his self-consciousness, Dong-Sik took a breath and tried some more honesty, running his knuckles over Joo-Won's face, "It makes sense that it would be intense for you to get affection. Joo-Won ah, I love that I get to show you the affection you've missed out on. I don't think less of you for being inexperienced, I swear. You're just so pretty and sweet I turn into a giddy teenager who doesn't know how to behave." 

Joo-Won blinked at him in surprise, his chest moving quickly as his breathing sped up. "Dong-Sik," he said helplessly, as though unsure of what to do with what he was feeling. Tempted by its pinkness, Dong-Sik ran his thumb over his full lower lip. "So gorgeous," he murmured. Joo-Won made a small sound of desire, and tugged him into a kiss. Dong-Sik kissed him with all the affection he knew how to show, taking his time and moving slowly, keeping his mouth soft and relaxed. He could hear and feel little hitches in Joo-Won's breathing as the kiss was returned with equal affection. When they finally broke apart for air Joo-Won looked stunned, his hand trembling in Dong-Sik's hair. "Look at you," Dong-Sik marvelled, touching the now fuller lips. "What's someone so pretty doing in bed with me? How'd I get so lucky?" This time when Joo-Won blushed he didn't tease, but brushed his thumb over a pink cheek and asked, "What do you want?" Joo-Won bit his lip uncertainly and looked down his body. "Are you able to get hard again?" He asked. It was too soon at his age, so Dong-Sik shook his head, "But that doesn't matter if you want something." He wanted so badly to give to Joo-Won - to have him receive while knowing he didn't need to give anything in return. 

Joo-Won waffled back and forth indecisively, not wanting to ask for something when he couldn't give anything in exchange. Dong-Sik saw that, kissing his cheek and softly pleading, "Please tell me what you want. I want to take care of you." Hearing the honest want in his voice, Joo-Won gave in, sighing with need, "Please touch me, Hyung." Dong-Sik's hand slid down his body to press against him, his breath releasing at what he found. "Already getting hard for me," he breathed. "I can't believe you get hard because of me. I can't believe I'm finally getting to touch you." Shifting against Dong-Sik's hand, Joo-Won warmed further at his words and the awed tone he said them in. He sighed with relief as Dong-Sik's hand encircled him. Dong-Sik reached for the lube, briefly letting go to slick him before gripping him again. "Sweet boy," murmured lowly made Joo-Won shiver hard. Joo-Won rested his hand on Dong-Sik's moving arm and wound an arm around his neck, moaning as he began to stroke steadily. Seeking more of the firm grip he rocked his hips up into the motion. The rough hand felt different from his own, a reminder that it was Dong-Sik's hand on him every time he shut his eyes. "God you're beautiful," Dong-Sik said admiringly, brushing Joo-Won's hair off his forehead. "You're so sweet for me, Joo-Won, so perfect." Joo-Won whimpered at the way the words shot down his spine, igniting his arousal and sharpening the stimulation. He clung to Dong-Sik desperately, half-afraid he would get swept away in the tidal wave of feelings crashing through him. 

Dong-Sik was awed by the way Joo-Won reacted to his words and touch. It was moving that he could impact him so much, that his words meant so much to Joo-Won, who usually dismissed people's opinions of him. "You're too good to be real," Dong-Sik murmured. "Oh!" The younger man called out, throwing his head back as Dong-Sik increased the speed of his hand. It didn't matter that he couldn't get hard again yet;  watching this, giving Joo-Won this pleasure, was still absolutely amazing. He would take this over mutual sex with anyone else. "You sweet thing," he whispered, kissing under Joo-Won's jaw. "I love touching you; love watching you. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've been dying to touch you like this and take care of you the way you deserve." Joo-Won fumbled for Dong-Sik, dragging him down into a desperate, wet kiss as he rocked his hips into the tight grip. As soon as Joo-Won was too breathless to continue Dong-Sik started talking again, "You taste so good. I can't get enough." Joo-Won looked almost pained, tossing his head. "It- It's too much," he stuttered. "Should I stop? Slow down?" Dong-Sik asked, ready to do whatever was asked. Joo-Won shook his head hard. "It's just so much," he half sobbed. 

Every word Dong-Sik said set the fire in him burning somehow even hotter. Over and over Joo-Won thought surely his arousal was at its peak, yet it kept impossibly increasing. He felt like he was simultaneously melting into the bed and levitating off of it. Dong-Sik clearly knew what he was doing with his hand, touching him expertly and being closely attentive to his reactions. "My fantasies didn't compare to this. How are you even real?" Dong-Sik marvelled. By that point Joo-Won was too turned on to feel embarrassment about his reactions to the words. All that mattered was reaching the peak and finding a release for the build-up of need inside himself. "I need to come," he said desperately. "Are you close?" Dong-Sik asked, nosing at his neck. Joo-Won shifted, trying to rock into his fist for more. "I don't know," he whined. "Need more." He felt needy and helpless - entirely at the older man's mercy. "I'll take care of you, Joo-Won," Dong-Sik promised, then climbed over him to kneel between his legs. Joo-Won cried out as Dong-Sik squeezed his balls and tugged them as he swiped his thumb over the head of his cock. "Is that better?" Dong-Sik asked, breathless like he was the one getting off. "Can you come like this?" Gripping Dong-Sik's shoulders, Joo-Won nodded frantically. "That's my boy," Dong-Sik praised. Stunned, Joo-Won's eyes widened for a flash before they slid shut with a groan. 

All that mattered now was making Joo-Won come so hard he forgot his own name. He seemed lost in the stimulation, barely coherent as his toes curled in the sheets. "I'm going to get off to this so many times. You're better than any fantasy," Dong-Sik told Joo-Won. "You're so gorgeous and good for me. I'll never get enough of you." Dong-Sik had never seen someone react so strongly to just a handjob before, and knew it was his words that made it so intense for Joo-Won. He ached at how starved for affection the younger man was, and longed to make up for all that he had lacked. "Are you going to come for me?" Dong-Sik asked. "I'm close," Joo-Won bit out with difficulty, his chest heaving. "That's good, such a good boy for me," Dong-Sik praised, making Joo-Won jerk under him. He seemed almost startled by his own reactions as though only realizing right as the words were said that they were something he'd needed to hear. "I want to make you feel better than you've ever felt. Want to watch you come on yourself. God, look at you, you gorgeous thing." Dong-Sik wished he could kiss Joo-Won from this position, needing those full lips on his own. Toes curling in the sheets as his legs writhed, Joo-Won's sounds grew breathier as he approached his peak. Deciding to risk it, Dong-Sik pushed him a little, testing the discovery they'd made. "That's it, sweetheart," he murmured. Joo-Won immediately cried out and rolled his head back, flooding Dong-Sik with warmth towards him. "Come on, sweetheart. Make a mess of yourself for me." Joo-Won made a sound like he'd been hit in the stomach, curling inward as his cock spilled up his stomach. Dong-Sik felt a sense of release as well at finally being able to spend some of the affection that he'd held close in secret.

Joo-Won collapsed bonelessly back onto the bed sweating and trembling. The sheets were damp under him, but he was too limp to move from the spot. He shut his eyes as the room spun around him, feeling lost in euphoria as his whole body buzzed. Never before had he come twice in a row, as he was too disciplined even as a teenager to give into want like that. The experience of coming while receiving praise made Joo-Won feel shaken to the core, as though something had shifted deep inside him. Dong-Sik smoothed a gentle hand over his sweaty brow, brushing his hair off his forehead to kiss it. It made Joo-Won feel a pang of love for the man as he handled him with such tenderness. The lips traveled over Joo-Won's eyebrows, his cheek, and jaw before seeking out his mouth, just a light brush of lips to allow him to catch his breath. With a sigh of satisfaction Dong-Sik stretched out alongside him, pressed against his body in spite of the sweat. "You're beautiful," Dong-Sik whispered in an awed voice, resting his hand on Joo-Won's chest where he must be able to feel the wild beating of his heart. Even as he felt a flutter at the words, Joo-Won laughed softly and cracked his eyes open to look at him. "You know I got off, right? So you don't have to compliment me anymore," he provided an out. Dong-Sik shook his head, "Silly man. I say it because it's true, because I want to tell you." The thought was too much to take in just yet. Joo-Won traced Dong-Sik's cheekbone with his finger. "Well if we're saying things just because they're true then I should say you're more attractive to me than anyone I've ever seen," he said in a tone subdued by exhaustion. He paused, then made himself ask what was on his mind, "Was saying all that weird for you?" 

Dong-Sik was taken aback by the question. "What?" He exclaimed. "Aish, Joo-Won, what am I supposed to do with you? No, it wasn't weird for me to tell my boyfriend things I already think about him. How could it be weird to get you off like that?" Joo-Won visibly relaxed at the question, his lids lowering as though they were heavy. "Are you going to sleep?" Dong-Sik asked in a hushed tone. At the question Joo-Won opened his eyes wide, stubbornly shaking his head. "No, no, I'm awake," he claimed like a child trying to stay up late. Dong-Sik laughed at him gently as he climbed out of bed and returned with a wet cloth, wiping the sweat off Joo-Won's face and chest then cleaning the cum off him. Joo-Won looked startled at first, then settled back with a look of amazement, as though Dong-Sik was doing something radical just by cleaning him up. The way he got so touched over the smallest gestures made Dong-Sik want to shower him with affection and supportive deeds to show Joo-Won the kind of unconditional love he should have had as a child. 

After disposing of the cloth Dong-Sik climbed back in bed and pulled the covers over them. "Go to sleep," he whispered, kissing Joo-Won's head. Joo-Won blinked sleepily at him, then gave in and burrowed against him, wrapping his arms around Dong-Sik and tucking his head against his chest so it slipped under the covers. Dong-Sik cradled him like he was a priceless treasure, which the younger man was to him. He felt Joo-Won's breaths slow into a deep, steady rhythm almost right away, exhales puffing against his chest. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he promised himself he wouldn't take a moment of this for granted and would always treat Joo-Won well. Lifting the blanket to see him, he looked down at the slack face against his chest, his heart full at having it. It would kill him to lose Joo-Won, but he had to take the risk of letting himself have what he wanted so much. Joo-Won deserved to finally experience what it was to be loved. What he'd given Dong-Sik that day was more than he thought he'd ever have, and he wanted to return it in kind.