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76 hours
The thread was long, looking like any of the others they’d spun, and in this day and age a bit shorter than most, but it had to come to an end sometime. Now seemed like a good sometime. Two of them looked to the third for approval, and she nodded, but there was a condition. They had to wait until he left his arms. The other two huffed in both impatience and disapproval, but she assured them it wouldn’t too long. 76 hours at the most? It wasn’t fair to separate them upon a whim, not like they hadn’t done that before, but they’d learnt from their mistakes. Fine, that was a semi-fair trade-off, but she’d better keep her word. 76 hours tops. No more.
72 hours
Changmin walked out the door to their apartment, huffing in impatience. Yunho always took too long. As he started walking down the stairs, the two looked on eagerly, and then glanced at the third. What about now? No. But- at that moment Yunho exited the apartment as well, and Changmin had reached the bottom of the stairs. The other two grumbled something under their breath that could be nothing but unpleasant.
“Took you long enough,” Changmin muttered as Yunho reached him on the ground floor.
Yunho tried to glare at him but it was impossible to mask the amusement in his eyes. “You’re not exactly the epitome of speed, you know.” He paused then muttered, “Especially not in the shower.”
Changmin grinned sheepishly. “What about in bed?” he asked, giggling and looking at the ground in an attempt to hide the fact he was blushing. It was all in vain, though, he found when Yunho pinched him and he yelped, also failing to glare as harshly as he wished.
“You know how I feel about talking like that in public,” Yunho scolded, affection killing the reprimanding intent of the statement.
Changmin opened the door that lead out of the apartment building. “We’re hardly even outside, let alone in public,” there was no joking tone in his voice despite that being the original intent.
“Your current tone of voice is exactly why.” Yunho softened his tone, “You know what happens. I don’t want you to get hurt again.” From their hiding place, the sisters nodded in agreement. Once the couple had let their guard down and exchanged a short kiss in a café. Another patron had been offended by the innocent act and stood up, pointing and yelling slurs. Tears had sprung into Changmin’s eyes and Yunho had to coax him out gently, whispering comforting words into his ear. The incident had affected the younger greatly, causing him to exercise caution in public and not even hold his lover’s hand. Their close friends may not mind, but it still stung that the rest of the world couldn’t let them be themselves.
Changmin frowned. “It’s still unfair. I wish I was brave enough.” He reached for the passenger’s side car door a bit too early and stared expectantly at Yunho.
“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he unlocked the car and slid into the driver’s seat while Changmin hopped in on the other side. “I’m just as scared as you are.” He leaned over to plant a small kiss on the other’s cheek, but Changmin turned his head and it ended up on the lips. They remained like that for a moment until they became consciously aware of where they were and pulled away. Yunho looked into Changmin’s eyes and smiled. “It’ll be okay.”
Changmin couldn’t help but believe him.
46 hours
The couple were still asleep, nestled together in bed. They were sleeping in later than usual but they had been busy the night before, making love slow and gentle, but thorough. Watching them sleep, they seemed well at ease.
What about now? They’re sleeping. Neither would be the wiser. No. Today was a big day for them, they had big plans. It’d be unfair to tear them apart. More impatient sighs and grumbles. Hush! Where was the beauty in death without a life lived beforehand?
Yunho stirred, eyes blinking open slowly as his sleep-ridden mind tried to take in his surroundings. Changmin had managed to rest his head on his chest despite being taller, his hair going in all directions, and Yunho could feel their legs tangled together. One of the many pleasures of being with Changmin was being able to wake up to this every morning.
He gazed, admiring Changmin’s relaxed features. The younger’s lips were slightly parted, and he really wanted to kiss them. He took his free hand and ran it through the other’s hair, frowning a bit as he messed it up for he thought it had looked perfectly adorable before he had to go and touch it. Not that he didn’t look adorable now, he always looked adorable, it was that things always looked better before someone decided to mess with them.
He removed his hand from his hair and poked Changmin’s nose, causing it to twitch a little. “Come on, sleepyhead. Time to get up.” He smiled as Changmin opened his eyes slowly only to give him a wonderfully unimpressed look.
“Why?” was the first word that left his mouth.
Yunho laughed softly. That was just like his Changmin. His Changmin...he liked the sound of that. “Most people say ‘good morning.’” Changmin was still unimpressed, and probably what most people would consider to be grumpy. “Come on,” he repeated, “I booked us for breakfast at that place you like.”
Changmin groaned, rolling over so his back facing Yunho and taking the blanket with him. “Cancel.”
“What?” Yunho was a little taken aback, he couldn’t tell if Changmin was joking or not.
“Can’t go. Body hurts. Sore.”
Yunho rolled his eyes. “You’re fine. Get up.”
Another groan. “It’s your fault. Take responsibility.”
Yunho chuckled. “Is taking you to a nice breakfast not taking responsibility?”
Changmin turned over to look at him, and Yunho found he looked even cuter in his little blanket cocoon. “No.” The answer came simply and Yunho found himself making a face to mock offense, when in all reality his feelings were still intact. He leaned in to try and kiss him but found himself being pushed off the bed, followed by a gasp and then a giggle from the one who remained on the furniture.
Yunho shrugged and found a shirt on the floor pulling it over his head. When he looked back up, Changmin was pouting. “What?”
“I was enjoying the view.”
He laughed.
“Also that is my shirt. But mainly the view thing.” Yunho stood up and wandered over to the dresser to grab a pair of jeans.
“I promise you’ll be okay.” He threw an outfit on Changmin who pouted and then muttered something about being able to pick out his own clothes. “Hurry up.” There were no more complaints after that.
45 hours
Yunho was really happy, and to Changmin it seemed almost as if he was looking forward to something. When he asked where they were going the only response he got was “Out,” followed by a giggle. He knew it was supposed to dissuade him from asking further, but all it did was pique his curiosity. So naturally he asked again.
“I already told you.”
That was Changmin’s cue to start using his whiny voice and puppy eyes. “No you didn’t. You said ‘that place you like.’ I like a lot of places.”
Yunho rolled his eyes, but he was chuckling. “If you were awake enough then to remember exactly what I said, you’re awake enough now to figure it out.”
“Please?” His voice was weak, but his will was strong.
“No. Not today. There is nothing you can do to convince me to ruin the surprise.”
“‘Surprise?’” Changmin echoed. “What?”
“Nothing.” Yunho was smug, a side of him that was really, really attractive-
Annoying, Changmin corrected his thoughts. It was annoying, Yunho was annoying. He crossed his arms and huffed. He could usually beg his way to getting what he wanted, but Yunho wasn’t having any of it, and there wasn’t much he could do while the other was driving.
The sisters were watching from the back seat, their whispering unheard by the couple in the front. What about now? People die in car accidents all the time.
No. It’s too risky. The other could get hurt, and that’s not his place. The other two nodded in agreement, it was something they couldn’t argue on. They just had to be patient. The moment would come.
Changmin sighed, sunk down in his chair, and put his feet on the dash of the car.
“Well, that’s certainly unlike you,” Yunho remarked.
“It’s your chair, not mine.”
“You should still sit up.”
“Why?”
“What if we get in an accident? The airbag could go off and hit your knees into your face. Or you could get crushed on both sides. Or you could get stuck and we wouldn’t be able to get you out. Or-”
“Okay, okay! I get it!” Changmin huffed, returning to the proper sitting position. “Do you stay up at night thinking of the possible ways I could die from something?”
“Not on purpose, and I don’t enjoy it.”
Changmin side-eyed him. “That’s still kind of weird.”
Yunho’s voice turned defensive. “It’s not weird! It’s a genuine fear of mine!” Changmin stared at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “Never mind.”
Yunho didn’t push, Changmin was elsewhere now, and starting a minor argument wasn’t going to bring him back. He pulled the car into a parking spot in front of a small breakfast cafe and that’s when Changmin finally came to.
“You remembered this place?”
Yunho nodded. “You said it was your favourite.”
“I say that about a lot of places.”
“I remember all of your favourites.”
Changmin was dating the king of cheese, but hell, he couldn’t deny that there was a smile on his face.
42 hours
They had spent a good amount of time in the cafe, munching on light pastries and sipping some tea or coffee, depending on the individual. They watched their actions, refraining from hand-holding and light kisses, but still managed to enjoy themselves, their gazes reflecting their mutual admiration.
It was late in the afternoon when they returned, and Changmin was pleasantly drowsy. They exchanged a quick kiss at the door to the apartment as they walked in, each removing their shoes in turn.
Changmin hung his coat up on the hanger behind the door. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announced. That was Yunho’s hint.
“I’ll be there in a second.” Yunho reached into his pocket as Changmin closed the door behind himself, and his hand brushed against a small object before he got to his phone. He dialed a number real quick before taking a deep breath.
“How’d it go?” The voice on the other line was upbeat and expectant. He could always count on Siwon to be like that.
“Well, I...uh, I chickened out.”
“What? Why?” His friend sounded genuinely concerned. “What happened?”
“Uh...I kind of ruined his mood on the drive there. I didn’t want to have him grumpy, you know?”
Siwon’s voice changed to a rather dry tone. “What’d you do now?”
“Well, he was sitting all curled up in the car with his feet on the dashboard and I told him to sit up because I was afraid of all the different ways he could get hurt. And then I listed them.”
The only sound on the other line was Siwon’s guffawing.
“Thanks.”
“Hey,” Siwon was still recovering, “at least I’m not a mood killer.”
“Mood killer? Would a mood killer have his boyfriend waiting for him in the shower?”
“That’s enough. I don’t need to know that much.”
Yunho smirked to himself.
“Stop smirking and go...just go.”
The sisters watched as Siwon hung up on him. They didn’t say anything as he knocked on the bathroom door and walked in, realizing they had missed a window of opportunity.
18 hours
“Well, maybe if you used your head for once in your life we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
Yunho stood, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Do you...Do you by chance see a future with me? Or are you just with me because you’re afraid to be alone?”
“Changmin,” Yunho’s voice trailed off.
“You can’t even say anything.” Changmin was keeping his voice level, but the hurt in it was evident and Yunho could see tears brimming his eyes.
“Honey,” Yunho reached out for him, but he pulled away.
“Don’t call me that. Don’t say it unless you mean it.”
“Changmin, please-”
“What do you want?!” Changmin snapped. He couldn’t fight the tears anymore, as they had started to roll down his cheeks.
“I want to know what you want from me.”
“I want you to love me.”
Those words hurt, and they cut deep, but he wasn’t going to be told off like that when it wasn’t even true. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Yunho didn’t realize that he had started crying until the tears dripped past his cheeks. “I...I’ve stuck with you this whole time. I’ve stayed for the past two years, thick and thin. I was there for you when your mother died and your dad kicked you out. I helped you pick yourself back up when you lost your job. I stayed even when I thought your faith was shaken. The day you moved in with me is to this day one of the best of my life. If that’s not love, what is?”
Changmin realized he was in the wrong and broke down into sobs. He let himself sit on the ground, drawing his knees to his chest and crying into crossed arms. “I’m sorry,” he said. The words were lost in his sobs, and he repeated them over and over again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Yunho sat down next to him and put a hand on his back, causing him to start. “Shh,” Yunho whispered, rubbing circles. “It’s okay.” He sighed. “What’s wrong?”
“Excuse me?” Changmin sat up, looking at him with red eyes.
“You don’t lash out like that unless something is going on. What is it?”
Changmin took a deep breath. “I...I got fired...again.”
Yunho’s eyes widened. “Really?” He nodded. “Why?”
“I wasn’t doing well enough. I wasn’t producing what they wanted.” Changmin’s sobs remained at bay but a tear escaped his eyes. “I’m a failure,” he muttered.
“Hey, hey, don’t talk like that.” Yunho put an arm around him and brought him in closer. “You’re doing fine. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
Changmin laughed, but there was no humour in it. “You’re too good for me.” He wiped his eyes.
“Nah,” Yunho said, ruffling his hair. “We’re just meant to be.”
Changmin groaned. “I swear you sit on the throne of cheese.”
Yunho grinned and poked his nose with his free hand. “You love me anyway.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I do.”
1 hour
“How does a movie sound?” Yunho asked, rummaging through the fridge for something to drink before closing it without grabbing anything.
“Sounds nice,” Changmin agreed from the sofa. Yunho walked over to sit next to him, pulling him close.
“What are you in the mood for?”
Changmin scoffed, “No way. It’s your turn to choose.”
Yunho shook his head. “Nuh-uh. I chose last time. It’s your turn.”
Changmin shrugged. “Okay. How I bought I go out and rent a movie?”
“You sure?” Yunho asked. “Want me to come with you?”
“Oh, please. It’s a ten minute walk.”
“Okay, but...wait a few minutes. I want to cuddle.”
The sisters watched them from the corner of the room, chattering excitedly. Soon their hours of waiting would be over.
15 minutes
“Okay,” Changmin announced, groaning as he pulled himself from Yunho’s arms. “I’m leaving now.”
Yunho stood up to give Changmin a kiss on the cheek. “Okay, be careful.”
“I will,” Changmin said out of habit before walking out the door.
60 seconds
Changmin had taken his time to get there, enjoying the pleasantly cool air. He loved Yunho, but it was nice to get out by himself. Healthy couples took time to themselves anyway, it was only normal. He started humming to himself as he walked, the rental store within sight.
30 seconds
The sisters looked at each other, the eldest nodding as a car started driving down the street. They stopped the weaving of the thread, and she held the shears ready.
The car swerved, knocking over a trash can and causing Changmin to turn around in alarm. He hadn’t noticed it before because the lights weren’t on, and they were definitely speeding. He tried to move out of the way, and-
Snip!
The sisters watched the cut thread fell loosely.
He was gone before it hit the ground.
-2 hours
Yunho was pacing. It had been too long since Changmin left. He would have definitely been back by now. He tried calling for the third time, but there was no answer. What could have happened? Was he okay? Did he get into trouble?
No. Yunho pushed the thoughts out of his mind. If there was a problem, he’d call. It may take time, but he always did.
His nerves were getting the best of him and he was about to put on his shoes and leave, but then there was a knock at door. When he opened it, two police stood in front of him, one man and one woman. His heart leapt to his throat.
“May I help you?” he asked.
“You live with Shim Changmin?”
He nodded. The words he heard next had his ears roaring, he wasn’t even sure if he heard them properly.
Changmin had been struck by a drunk driver. The driver was fine, of course, they always were, but Changmin was already gone when they got to the scene. He was probably killed on impact.
Yunho didn’t realize his legs were weak until he hit the ground. The two cops offered to help him up but he waved them off. He just wanted to stay there. He thanked them for letting them know and they offered their condolences before taking their leave. When Yunho heard the door to the complex open and close, he screamed. He screamed over and over until his throat was raw and let the tears come. He reached into his pocket for his phone, and when he pulled it out, the object he’d been carrying around for days fell out with it. The ring was simple, but he knew it would’ve been enough for Changmin.
“I didn’t even get to…” he whimpered. If only he hadn’t chickened out that day. A wave of self-hatred hit him and he let another wave of sobs hit him.
And then he got angry. What right did the heavens have to take the light of his life away from him? Why did the one who killed him get off scot free? He took the ring and threw it as hard as he could across the room, losing track of it after it hit the wall.
-56 hours
Yunho didn’t eat. He barely slept. He didn’t change clothes, or brush his hair, or take a shower. He was laying in their shared bed, holding a pillow close, but it was a poor substitute.
He hadn’t called anyone. Plenty had called him, but he didn’t answer.
He almost missed the funeral. He didn’t want to go, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get through it. He only went because Siwon had stopped by to check on him one the way, and he had never locked the door in his fit of grief.
He didn’t get through it.
He remained in bed the rest of the time. Siwon had opted to stay over and look after him, and he didn’t even try to fight, so long as he would stay out of his space. Siwon was currently sitting on the sofa, where he had also slept the night before. Or at least that’s what Yunho thought. He hadn’t seen him since they returned to his house.
In reality, Siwon had just walked into the room, a bowl of instant noodles in his hand. He knew Yunho was ready for anything substantial. He set it on the bedside table.
“I brought breakfast,” he said. There was no response but a sigh.
He turned to leave, but then he felt a hand grab his arm, and looked to see Yunho staring at him with tearful eyes.
“Don’t go,” he whispered, voice hoarse.
Siwon obliged, sitting next to him and letting him rest his head on his chest. They sat like that for a while, maybe twenty minutes, before Yunho said something again.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
Yunho shook his head. “No.”
He rephrased the question, “What do you need?”
Yunho sniffled and Siwon could tell he was about to burst into tears again. “Nothing.” His voice cracked as they started to fall.
He let Yunho cry, saying nothing. He knew his presence was enough. When he thought Yunho had finally fallen asleep, he heard the words.
“I want him back.”