Chapter Text
"Do you really think we can bring them back?"
"I don't know Y/N," Steve squeezed her shoulder. "But we have to try."
* * *
"It must have been very trying on you to go through such an ordeal," Dr. Raynor stated, tapping her pen on her notebook.
"I'm used to it," Y/N huffed out a dry laugh, staring contently at the floor. "It's part of the job."
"You could have died during such a mission," Raynor leaned forward. "You must feel some relief about being here."
"Yeah," Y/N tried to hide the venom in her voice. "Lucky me."
* * *
Y/N gasped at the spinning sensation she felt on returning to the present with Steve and Tony.
"Did we do it?" She laughed breathlessly in disbelief.
Y/N looked around at her team for conformation, she noticed a blaring absence as soon as Bruce asked the question that still haunts her.
"Clint, where's Nat?"
* * *
"Natasha Romanoff gave her life for what she believed in, the humanity of the world."
Y/N looked up from the ground for the first time since the session started.
"She gave her life for her family," her eyes were burning. "That's all she wanted, was to bring everyone back, and we lost her and... and..."
Y/N gritted her teeth as she wiped away her tears harshly.
"And Tony Stark?"
* * *
"And... I... Am... Iron Man."
Y/N held up her hand as the light from the snap blinded her. They had saved the world, yet again.
The first person she saw when she opened her eyes again was Tony. She felt like crying tears of joy, but that soon changed when Tony began to crumble.
Not another one, not Tony too.
"Tony?" She managed to reach him at the same time Pepper and Peter did.
She couldn't hear what everyone else was saying as she stared at him. She had to remind herself in that moment that despite everything Tony was, he wasn't immortal.
When the light finally left him, that's when the world came back into focus, and when she felt herself break.
Tony Stark was a father, a husband, and a friend. And now he was dead.
* * *
"Dead? Isn't that rather harsh?"
"Dead, passed away, entered the pearly gates," Y/N crossed her arms, trying to hold herself together. "It all means the same, they're gone and they're not coming back."
"Y/N, you only focus on the loss, remembering them for who they were-" Dr Raynor was silenced by her.
"It doesn't help," she spat out. "Do you know who Tony was?"
Y/N stood up from her spot as she began to pace, the Doctor watching her carefully.
"Oh, he was a hero. He'll always be remembered. Did you hear that they're building a statue in memory of Iron Man?" She finally stopped by the office window. "That's how everyone will remember him. But I knew Tony Stark, and everything he left behind."
Y/N rested her head against the cool glass, it helped put out the angry fire burning inside her mind.
"You shouldn't feel guilty for surviving that, for being allowed to live," Dr Raynor joined her at the window.
"Why not?" She asked quietly. "No one would have missed me, Nat had a purpose, she had people she needed to look after. Tony, he had a daughter, and I can't even look at her without knowing that I got to spend more time with him than she did."
Y/N felt a hand being placed on her shoulder, she flinched slightly from the contact but hid it well.
"Have you talked to any of your friends, your team mates?" The Doctor questioned.
"No, they just leave too."
* * *
Y/N should have seen this coming, but deep down she didn't want to believe it. She knew the second he left he wasn't coming back.
As Bruce panicked and Sam questioned where Steve was she stood in silence with Bucky.
She was there when he saw Peggy again, she could see the desperation in his eyes, the want. She fooled herself into believing that maybe he could still be happy here, with all of them.
But she was wrong, and she accepted that the best she could as she watched Sam speak with Steve.
"You knew didn't you?" Bucky asked next to her.
"Of course I knew, who wouldn't leave all this behind for a happy ending?" She replied.
She was quite proud of the way she held her head high and walked away. But it was all an act, she could feel the cracks, the pain, she wasn't the same person anymore.
That was the last time she saw any of them.
* * *
"Y/N, you have to learn to accept the pain you're feeling, you need to reach out to your friends and try-" the Doctor was interrupted by the alarm signaling the end of the session.
"See you next time Doc," Y/N grabbed her jacket quickly on her way out.
She heard Dr Raynor call for her to stay, this only made her walk faster. She was only here because she was mandated to by the government.
Y/N could take care of herself, by herself, she didn't need anyone else poking around in her head.