Archive of Our Own

The night was quiet and calm outside, wrapping the pair in the comfort of their own, private bubble of just existing next to each other in the same bed, tucked into the familiar camouflage duvet. It was like nothing else existed around them in this moment. It was save and warm and so, so comforting. They didn't say anything, just laid there and enjoyed the others presence in quiet appreciation. The redhead was pretty sure the blonde had already fallen asleep, his steady breathing the only sound coming from his slightly parted lips.  

It felt strange, maybe even somehow sad to have the familiar warmth settle in his heart. It was almost the end of their third year after all. Eijiro didn't know how often he will be able to just bask in these moments in the future, where he doesn’t have to think about anything else. About being a hero or on alert. About hiding his feelings or his flushed face. He just had to be and with the blonde laid right next to him, so close, that was all he wished to do.  

The thought of not being able to wake up to a sleeping Bakugou had appeared in Kirishima’s head more often than he wished it would have. He knew it was stupid, they weren't a couple or ever talked about sticking together after they graduated, but God did he wish to. Wish that this could be a thing and not just some tired excuse because one of them was too lazy to move to their own room.  

He had contemplated asking Bakugou to move in with him. They had gotten quite a few offers from agencies to start at as sidekicks and some of them were either close together or even the same. Kirishima had really wanted to go to Fatgum's, but he had realized that he would be fine choosing any agency that would take him if it meant being able to live with Bakugou.  

The more days passed and the further they got to graduation, the more often the thought came back up. The contemplation of where to go got more frequent in their class and most options and favourites started settling down in everyone's heads. And Kirishima couldn't not catch the name of an agency that had caught Bakugou’s interest, which wasn't too far from Fatgum's.  

We can life together to save money. It would be less expensive to share than to each have an apartment of our own.   

Probably the lamest reasons and definitely not why he wanted to room together at all, but it was the most fool proof statement. Every day he had tried to say something, to hype himself up to just ask, casual and matter of factly like a normal person would, but every day he would chicken out.  

I'll just ask him tomorrow .  

But in the end, he never brought it up. He wanted to think that he did it to not interfere with the blonde's choice of where to go, he wanted to think that he didn't put any pressure or expectations on Bakugou, but in reality, he knew that he was simply scared. Scared of rejection, of ruining their friendship or any chance of being more by seeming clingy or coming on too strong. 

And just like that time passed and now here they were, lying next to each other, knowing fully well that it might be one of the last times. Only a week to graduation, two to get settled into their new lives which were lying ahead of them. He had given up on asking, sure the blonde had already chosen a place and agency and the small window of opportunity had closed on him. 

The shifting beside him made him stiffen and with little horror he had to realise that he had probably just let out the loudest, most frustrated sigh in existence.  

For a moment he contemplated to just not turn around, to just close his eyes and pretend he was asleep, but he knew it had been his downfall when he only took a glimpse to the side and saw burning red eyes look directly at him. So, he turned towards the blonde, faces now only inches apart.  

"The hell are you sighing about, Shittyhair?" The blonde growled lowly, his voice rough from his half-asleep state and Kirishima couldn't help the sudden rush of warmth in his body and the unsteady pounding of his heart, reaching a new speed that shouldn't be possible.  

The redhead’s voice stuttered for a second as he tried to reply, not able to look away from the burning ambers in front of him. "N-nothing. Just... thinking."  

Wow Eijiro ... very smooth !  

He kind of expected for the blonde to role his eyes, to scoff or to let out a snarky remark about not hurting himself. But the expression he was met with was soft, thoughtful, he would even say it was fond, understanding, as if Bakugou knew exactly what he meant.  

"About what?" He simply asked, his eyes hooded and attention fixed completely on him. It made Eijiro swallow dryly before he could speak.  

"Just... everything, I guess. I mean... it's crazy how we are suddenly this close to becoming actual pro heroes. I can still remember our first days when we first stepped foot into the hero course full of excitement and ignorance as if it only happened two hours ago. We're supposed to be grown ass men, dude. We're making our own decisions and everything. Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling, you know, when everything just starts to sink in and I don't feel like I'm ready to let go just yet. It's... unsettling... sometimes."  

Another sigh escaped his lips as his eyes drifted to somewhere a bit off the side from Katsuki's face while he talked. Though, when the blonde hummed in acknowledgement, he was quick to fix his gaze back on him.  

"Guess, so... but this is what we have trained for the past three years. We knew that at some point things would change and suddenly we would be burdened with expectations and the tough job of being a hero. I don't ... I don't want to assume anything, but you don't have to be scared of the future, I'm sure, no, I know you're going to be one hell of a hero. It doesn’t matter if you might feel like you're not ready yet, because I know you're ready. And I am always right."  

A sly smirk had found its way on Bakugou’s lips and as Kirishima stared at him, at his lips, he could feel his insides churn, butterflies forming in his guts and the overwhelming want to just reach out and pull him in wad almost unbearable in this moment.  

Sometimes he couldn't believe how the other teen was able to make him feel like he was worth the stars, lifting him up anytime he would only dare to think about putting himself down, overthinking everything from big blows to the smallest actions and words that somehow found their way under his skin.  

He had worked hard to toughen up, he was able to become unbreakable, an unshakeable wall that no-one could get past. Though, it was one thing to harden your outside, but something completely different to harden your insides as well and he had been reminded more than once that his heart was more fragile than he wanted it to be.  

But Bakugou was always there for him, was still there for him now and the realisation that he might not be there for him anymore after, when he would break again, was slightly terrifying.  

He chuckled as his eyes started to fall shut, his hand resting awkwardly on his side "yeah, I guess you are. Still weird to think that after this week there will only be a few days left where we're all together. After that... everyone's going to go their own... way..."  

He could feel sleep taking over his body, his eyelids feeling too heavy to open them up once more. He was almost losing his conciseness to the black void of nothingness when he thought he heard the small voice of Katsuki before he gave in to his exhaustion.  

"Yeah... everyone."  
 
___  
 
"THAT was fricking amazing! I never thought graduation could be this lit! " Kaminari whooped, running around and hugging every student that was so unfortunate to fall into his field of sight. His diploma was held tightly in his hand and it brought a fond smile to everyone's faces whenever he would catch sight of the little role he was tossing around and he couldn't help but beam at it.  

"It sure was! Man, I am glad I took videos! You were practically bawling your eyes out when Aizawa shook your hand. I bet he was just as surprised as you that you managed to graduate." The purple haired girl teased while poking into his sides and cheeks, which were starting to form a beautiful, bright shade of pink.  

" SO ? Let a man be happy, Jirou!" His big pout was quickly lost when he turned to the rest of the squad that was laughing and smiling just as brightly as him now. "We should definitely celebrate! Just our group, or maybe with our class. Big after parties are great and all, but our little gremlin would probably kill us if we dragged him to a place with a bunch of 'extras'."  

Everyone agreed instantly with beaming faces and to Kirishima’s delight he could see the corners of Bakugou’s lips turn up ever so slightly as well. It made his insides feel all warm and fuzzy and he had to force himself to look away in time.  

An electric fist was raised to the air more enthusiastic than ever. "All right! Then that's settled! Class 3-A has one last big party together before we go and become pros. Let's make this count, okay! No sweatpants or tank tops, we're going all out, people! Get out your finest suits and the tequila, we're gonna partyyy!"  
 
____  
 
"Come on, dude, we're gonna be late!" The muffled laugh sounded through Katsuki's door as he struggled with his eyeliner. Yeah, he was gonna go all out, sue him. Like Pikachu said, it was the last time they would be all together for quite some time and if he liked it or not, he had to admit that over the past years, with everything they went through together, he had grown fond of them and wasn't about to ruin this.  

"SHUT UP! I'm almost finished!" He finally painted the last perfect line before aggressively swinging open the door to a head of bright, red hair and a beaming smile.  

Kirishima was leaning against his door frame in a nice, deep black button-up and grey slacks that hugged his muscular legs perfectly. Katsuki could feel his face heat up as he let his eyes travel over the man in front of him. His heart stuttered for a moment when he locked his eyes with red ones.  

The fuck.  

"Well, don't you clean up nicely! I always forget how great you can look in some well-fitting pants and a vest." The redhead beamed with a bright cheeky grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling from his big smile. Bakugou’s face felt like it was gonna catch fire and he was quick to duck away from the redhead, walking towards the elevator. "Shut up, asshole! I always look great!" He sneered, but with no bite and going by the delighted giggle from behind him, Kirishima knew that, too.  

The blonde was quick to push the button for the elevator and waited for the redhead to catch up with him, which didn't take long, since he felt the others presence next to him almost instantly. "Yeah, I know you do." He teased smirking as the doors slid open and he walked in, expectant eyes trained on the blonde. Katsuki walked in only a second or so later and the ride downstairs was quiet but comfortable. It always was with Kirishima.  

Katsuki couldn't help his gaze drifting to the man beside him leaning against the elevator wall, lingering a bit too long before averting his eyes again, only to do it once more. The redhead looked amazing ! It was smooth and casual but still extremely elegant and maybe even a bit flirty, with the two first buttons popped open, allowing a glance of a beautifully built chest. Bakugou was sure he could make out a bit of make-up around the other's eyes and suddenly red irises were looking right back at him, a sweet smile gracing his lips. "You good?" He chuckled. 

Katsuki turned away quickly with a short nod, hiding his face from the embarrassment of being caught staring and felt the desperate need of something to drink right now. His mouth felt awfully dry.  

The hell is wrong with him today?   

They arrived after a short ride and the buzzing of the party was already finding its way through the thick elevator door, which was still closed, only to flood in and disturb the peacefulness of the moment with loud music and even louder people. Katsuki was barely able to take everything in when he was suddenly pulled by his arms by Mina and Denki towards what looked like the dance floor. His head whipped back so hard he thought he might get whiplash, but ignored it in favour of finding the redhead's eyes, begging him to save him.  

But when their eyes locked, he could only see a lough that was poorly being held back and an unapologetic, apologetic hand gesture. His frown deepened by the sight of betrayal and he threw Kirishima one mean scowl.  

That fucking traitor.   

He knew struggling was pointless against the force of the one-braincell-duo, so he let himself be dragged around the common room by the two idiots that call themselves his friends. To his delight he saw Kirishima being captured by the rest of their squad only a few seconds later and he couldn't feel less bad about the mean grin on his face. 
 
 
He had to admit, it was fun. It really was. Everyone was dressed up nicely as if they were at some high-end gala, compliments floating around constantly. Almost everyone had said something about his clothes as well. He had asked his mom to bring him something to wear and was surprised with a nice, cream-coloured dress shirt and a delicately embroidered, orange vest and grey dress pants. Guess that's what to expect from someone working in the fashion industry.  

To his surprise he held actual conversations with some of his classmates and even let himself be talked into having a drink. He was hesitant at first, since he never had alcohol before, but since he vowed, he would only have one he finally gave in and even more surprisingly it didn't even taste half bad.  

But even though he had a good time, it felt strange, like something was missing, something red and obnoxious, but sweet and goofy. He hadn't realized that they had been here for quite a few hours and as he sat contentedly on the couch, watching Deku almost fall over his own feet as he ' danced ', he felt somewhat lonely. He had barely seen Kirishima all night and for some reason that bugged him. But instead of getting up and finding him he was sitting there, overthinking every reason why he felt that way.  

He must have been rather deep in thought, since he hadn't felt the shift on the couch next to him, or the arm that was now draped on the back of the couch behind him. Only when he felt a hot breath brush too closely on his face did he jerk together, finally noticing the presence besides him. "Kaaaasskiii!" 

Katsuki froze as he realized the closeness between them, the arm draped around his waist and the chin resting close to his neck. “Your soo pretty... like a doll.” 

“K-Kirishima! Wha-what are you doing?” The blond stuttered. Fucking stuttered . Seriously what’s gotten into him today.  

The redhead didn’t answer the distressed blonde, but simply snuggled closer to him and hummed contentedly. Katsuki felt his face practically melting from the sudden heat and tried to get out of the embrace, only to be tugged in even more. 

“Nooo! Kaski don’ leeave! Cuddl wime!” Kirishima whined. Bakugou’s heart was pounding like crazy in his chest and his hands felt cold and wet, even though he felt hot all over. He couldn’t place what he was feeling, couldn’t make out why and so he did what he could do best.  

Get annoyed. 

“The fuck, shitty hair! Are you drunk or something? Let go of me or I’ll blow your face off!” He sneered, but it somehow came out like a defence of a flustered tsundere. Was he some kind of school girl?! 

Suddenly there were noises all around him and he was quick to realise in devastation that they weren’t alone. No, they were in the middle of a party.  

“Oh maann! What’s gotten into Kiri! Don’t tell me he got drunk from one drink!” Denki whooped as he skipped in front of the pair on the couch with a shit eating grin. “Didn’t think he would have such low alcohol tolerance. You okay Kacchan? You look a bit hot in there.” 

The blonde cackled. Bakugou was sure the Pikachu wannabe was completely aware of his safety distance he kept, or else he wouldn’t be laughing openly about him. Sometimes he really surprised Bakugou with the fact that he wasn’t a complete idiot. 

“FUCK YOU, Pikachu! Get that idiot off of me, he’s fucking heavy. I’ll bring him upstairs. Was gonna leave soon anyway” Bakugou snarled and noticed with annoyance the little crowd that was forming around them. The ‘Bakusquad’ right in the front line with their phones out.  

Those fucking bastards! Their gonna regret that tomorrow. 

Kaminari, thankfully, caught up to the blonde’s legit annoyance and complied with poorly suppressed snickers.  

Now, Katsuki knew that it was a pain to drag around shit that was heavier and bigger than him and very unhandy. But it was something extremely different if that shit was squirming and babbling nonstop. It made the vein on his forehead bulge in annoyance. 

Kaminari, or rather anyone for that matter, were of pretty much no help. Kaminari and stupid fucking Icyhot  helped him carry the hulk draped around him to the elevator, but the blonde quickly fucked off afterwards and Katsuki was not pleased with the thought of riding up the elevator with mister socially constipated alone. He’d rather drag the tree trunk of a friend across his floor like a heavy ass rug than go through that kind of awkwardness. 

The elevator doors closed shortly after and the loud music and excited chatter muted instantly and died down completely the further they got up.  

It was peaceful. The redhead was leaning against the wall and Katsuki’s breath finally stopped shaking and his heart found a steady pace once more. It was fine. Totally fine. 

The ride seemed excruciatingly slow, the seconds passing like minutes and the display still only said second floor. With a defeated sigh Bakugou fell against the wall next to Kirishima and their hands barely brushed. It sent a shot of electricity through his body and his eyes automatically jumped up to the other’s tired face. There was a small flush on the redhead's face, probably from the alcohol and his features seemed... soft.  

Katsuki couldn’t help but think that the man next to him was pretty. He thought that a lot. Whenever he would beam brighter than the morning sun or when Katsuki would praise him for a correct answer. Whenever they were together and there was that usual tint of blush around his nose.  

All those times he would look at him and couldn’t look away anymore, captured by some unknown force that made his face heat up. 

It was normal, wasn’t it? Kirishima complimented the way his friends looked all the time, Mina too. So why couldn’t the blonde think the redhead was cute? They were best friends after all. It didn’t matter that he only felt that way for him. It didn’t mean anything.  

He would just repeat it until his brain believed it too. 

With a jerk of the elevator, he was shaken out of his thoughts and luckily remembered to support the very tipsy redhead next to him. They arrived at their floor. Finally.  

He slung one of the other boy's arms around his shoulders and heaved Kirishima up and next to him, so that their sides were pressed together. He swallowed thickly, letting out a long, shuddering breath, before dragging the redhead and himself towards their rooms. 

The taller boy swayed a bit as they ‘walked’ together, causing Bakugou to almost trip over his own feet multiple times, grazing every single time with a colourful assortment of curses which made the redhead chuckle airily. “Stop laughing you fuckmunch, or I’ll drop you right here!” Katsuki barked with no bite and a ruby shadow on his cheeks.  

He wouldn’t say it to anyone, of course, but he was kind of happy to be right here. Sure, it was far from perfect, but this weirdly intimate and trusting privacy made his insides dance to the beat which could only be felt lightly through the ground anymore. It’s these kinds of weirdly domestic moments that confuse him more and more with every day, every minute spent together, because he knows he doesn’t feel those kinds of things. He is going to be the number one hero! He doesn’t need nor want any kind of unnecessary attachments and feelings towards anyone who could prevent him from his goal.  

But the thought of sharing a place, a dream, with someone equal, someone with a bright, sharp smile and covered in red, formed so nicely. Often enough he wouldn’t shake them away anymore. Not because he can’t do it.... he just doesn’t want to. They don’t hurt anyone after all. Their just thoughts. Dreams.  

He noticed too late that he had spaced out, when he felt a sudden weight crash into him as he stumbled a bit too much to the side and was suddenly knocked into the cold wall, two big hands slamming in next to his head. He stood there, frozen in place as his eyes looked with dark rouge ones. They were hooded, but sharper than ever, drowned in an unknown, thrilling darkness, pupils dilated impossibly wide. The sudden warm presence in front of him was pressed impossibly close, barely leaving space to breath. Katsuki’s heart was racing, pumping in his ears and he was sure the other was able to hear it in the silence of the night. His breathing felt hot and shaky as it left past his lips and he could feel the others heavy inhales against his cheek.   

A hot breath brushed closely against his ear and everything was suddenly deafeningly quiet and completely still. None of the boys dared to move and the lump in the blonde’s throat didn’t seem to want to leave. He swallowed dryly, opening his mouth to croak out something, anything as he watched the other’s eyes burn with something. Something wild and real that he wanted to see again .   

“Ki- Kirishima...”  

The redhead didn’t answer.  

Katsuki felt the redheads gaze drift to his lips and his face moved in even closer and closer. His breath hitched as a puff of air brushed his mouth, the other’s merely an inch away. A devilish smirk tucked at his perfect, red lips and it made warmth spread in the blonde’s stomach, urging him on to lean in.   

“Who wouldev’ thought I could shut yap’”   

He was completely stunned at the rasp of his voice tingling his ear and forcing out a high gasp. But before Katsuki could answer anything, warm, chapped lips were suddenly pressed against his own. He didn’t react at first, what was happening only starting to process in his mushed brain.  

A kiss.  

He was being kissed by Kirishima.  

Kirishima was kissing him.  

The taste of alcohol lingered on the redhead’s lips and a hint of sugar tasted through.  

He was barely able to react. His eyes fluttered as he tilted his head and leaned in properly. He barely let their lips melt together when the redhead parted them again, leaving the blonde to chase after them. He didn’t look up at him, but let his forehead hit the wall with a low thud.  He let out a shaky, breath. They stood there for a while, unsure for how long exactly – Minutes or just a few seconds – when Katsuki felt something wet seep through his shirt at his neck.  

“... sorry...”   

It was quiet. Almost too quiet to catch, but in the silence of the moment it was way too loud.   

Kirishima pushed himself off of the wall, swiping an arm over his face and with a few long steps he was in front of his own room, quickly disappearing behind it with only a short moment of hesitation. He never looked back.  

Katsuki was left alone with wide eyes. Pressed against the cold wall, frozen in place. He didn’t know how long he stood there without moving a muscle, but when he let his eyes finally drift to the room next to him, the redhead was long gone.  

His knees almost buckled beneath him, his legs suddenly uncapable of supporting his weight.  

His hand slowly grabbed onto his chest, right over his heart where it was trying to pound out of his ribcage. He swallowed thickly. Quick breaths escaped his lungs as he finally felt the burning of his face.   

What the hell... was that ?  

He couldn’t remember when he had moved from the empty hallway to his own bed, but his eyes stayed open for a long time.  

He barely slept that night.  

____  

Maybe he wasn’t awake yet. He should probably come back later, right? The redhead thought as he stared at the door as if it had offended him personally. He probably had been standing there for a good three minutes with his hands stiff at his side. 

No! Get it together man! You just need to talk about this. It’ll be fine. He won’t hate you...  

He shook his head violently before letting his knuckles rap against the door.  

...hopefully...  

Quick footsteps could be heard through the door and it didn’t take long for the door to open to Bakugou’s face. He looked tired. 

“Shitty hair? The hell are you doing here this early on a Saturday? Shouldn’t you sleep out your hangover or something?”  

Shit! He couldn’t do this . He couldn’t look at him, his red eyes that seemed to burn holes into him. So, he averted his gaze to the side before he swallowed, collected himself and set his face in determination. He looked up and... “Bakugou...I, uhm, I wanted to talk to you...about yesterday.”  

You fucking moron! Don’t stutter you idiot! How can you be so stupid? He internally smacked himself. Why can’t he just talk like a normal person, he isn’t even really looking at the blonde. Just say what you want him to know. Tell him you don’t regret the kiss. Tell him you’re in love with him! Just say something! 

“If...If I did anything to upset you … I’m sorry … I just...-” No, that’s not what I wanted to say. Stop being a coward! Just know that it meant everything to me! Know that it wasn’t because I hadn’t complete control over myself. Why can’t I just say it?  

“- just know that I … that it’s not-”      

“Forget it!”  

The blonde suddenly cut him off.  ‘ Huh...?’ Eijiro’s mouth fell slack as the words sunk in. Wait... His eyes stung and his throat felt too tight. He couldn’t breathe. “What...?” 

“Nothing happened, dipshit. So stop being all nervous and weird about it. You got clingy and started babbling nonsense, so I brought you up to your room. That’s it. I’m going back to bed. You should too.”   

No... that’s not true...  

Bakugou wasn’t looking at him anymore. His focus was set completely on the floor. He looked... uncomfortable. That’s not what Kirishima wanted. He never wanted to make Bakugou feel that way, he never wanted this. He was such an idiot. He never really thought about the other what if, since the blonde didn’t actually pull away last night... or was that just his hazy head daydreaming about the could be? He had fucked up their friendship, hadn’t he? Fuck , he ruined everything, right? 

He felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill, but he kept his voice steady to not cause the blonde to look up at his pathetic self. He had trained his voice unintentionally to stay calm through countless door-talks with Mina. Who would have thought it would ever come in handy. He definitely wished it wouldn’t have. Not like this. Not with the boy he loved.  

He couldn’t do anything anymore. Bakugou said he wanted to forget it. He didn’t want anything to do with it anymore, but still... he granted Eijiro another chance and he wasn’t going take it for granted. He wasn’t going to fuck it up even more. He would just have to pretend, to forget, or at least act like it.  

He will do that. He has to. For him. 

So he smiled. 

“Yeah, ok. I’m ... glad everything's fine … between us… see ya later.” 

“Yeah, later.” The blonde didn’t look up at him anymore and just like that the door closed in front of him, looking him away from the one thing he desired most. Locking away any chance he thought he might have had.  

But it also provided a wall, a blind to prevent the boy on the other side to see him. With tears streaming down his face and his vision blurring from the water. His knees gave in and he sunk to the floor, careful to stay quiet as he let all of his emotions finally leek out in the quiet of the early morning. 

He stayed there for a while, even after his tears had dried. It hurt. It hurt so, so bad, but he knew that all he had left was to move on, to forget. After all he couldn’t force someone to love him back. 

____  

To say he was tired would be a ginormous understatement. He hadn’t been able to close his eyes for even a second, the events of the night before and the morning after replaying in front of his eye constantly. The whole day there had been this weird, uncomfortable tension between them and he was sure Bakugou was trying to avoid him.  

He had really fucked it up, hadn’t he? 

His start as sidekick wouldn’t be for another four days and his new apartment would be ready to move into by tomorrow. It really did feel weird, not having to wake up at half past five to get in a run before school, shower and eat breakfast before making his way to class. But it was even stranger to not have an angry blonde knock down his door when he might oversleep, or pound the last math lesson into him.  

9:21  

A sadly humorous scoff escaped his nose as he looked at his clock for what seemed like the hundredth time. Normally Bakugou would have killed him by now, kicking his butt for being lazy and unproductive and dragging him to the training grounds for a one-on-one sparing session.  

Yeah... those were wonderful memories... 

No!  

He wasn’t going to let this just slip through his fingers because he made one mistake. They were best friends for Christ's sake, one kiss wasn’t going to be the end of their friendship. He wouldn’t allow it. Bakugou had said he wanted to forget about it, so he was going to do that. For him. Right now, his feelings didn’t matter. He was ready to try as hard as he can to fix what he had broken, to safe as much of their relationship as he can.  

With his face set with determination, he ripped his duvet off himself and jumped up and off his bed, skipping towards his desk chair where he had draped over a pair of sweatpants from the day before. He quickly grabbed them and threw on with a random shirt he pulled out of his closet.  

With the mind of grabbing his keys he quickly made his way outside and in front of the room next door. He raised his fist, but stopped right before it would connect with the wood, the feeling of DeJa'Vu heavy in his chest. It had only been a day after all, since he had literally broken down in front of this same door, crying until there were no tears left.  

Rejection hurt. 

He thought he knew that. He thought he had already accepted the fact that he won’t ever be able to have his feelings be reciprocated. He thought he had prepared himself, had hardened himself to stand against the force of the blow that was inevitable to come. In the end, he hadn’t been strong enough. 

His shook his head clear of the memory, swallowed hard and rapped his knuckles against the door. Once. Twice. And waited. 

And waited. 

But there was no sound from inside the room. No rustling, no curses or steps on the wooden floor. So he knocked again. He got the same silence as response. He contemplated for a while, but found some unknown source of determination and swung the door open with a loud enough ‘I’m coming in’. 

The redhead expected Bakugou to maybe sit on his bed and glare daggers into him or stand right in front of him with his arms crossed and a deep, unpleased scowl, but nothing. 

The room was completely empty. The curtains were drawn open, the bed was neatly made, though the usually black covers were missing. The whole room was cleaned up to the point where it looked like no one has ever lived in there. There were no posters, no books and no action figures anywhere in sight, not even the alarm clock on the night stand.  

Kirishima could feel his stomach turning uncomfortably as he looked around the deserted room. It couldn’t be what he thought it was. It just couldn’t. Bakugou had never mentioned that he would be moving out today, he never even mentioned applying to an apartment or agency. It just didn’t make any sense. It just couldn’t be. 

The redhead practically bolted down the hall into the shared bathrooms, down the stairs to the kitchen, the common room, the bath. Nothing. The blond was nowhere to be found.  

Worried glances followed him around as he searched the whole building, but no one asked what he was looking for. He would have probably ignored them anyways. With every room he would find to be empty, panic built up more and more inside of him. His breathing became more and more unsteady and his head was pounding with thoughts he didn’t want to have.  

He had probably never been faster to the training grounds in his life, not even when he was late, but the small hope that had bloomed in his chest was more than just crushed when he found all arenas and the gym empty as well. 

Where are you, Bakugou ?  

He kind of felt stupid, if he was being honest. It didn’t occur to him before, his head filled with unrational thoughts and unable to form common sense, but when he came back to the dorms, head low and mind empty from exhaustion from running around like a crazy person, he was finally able to think about what to do, what he should have done from the start. 

That’s why he was standing in front of a closed door once again. His hand risen to knock at the wood. He took in one last, deep breath before he let his knuckles hit the door and knocked three times, stepping back once to wait and it didn’t take long for him to hear footsteps from inside the room, accompanied with a small ‘coming!’.  

The door opened and big, bright eyes were looking up at him in surprise. A small, hopeful smile found its way on Kirishima’s tired face. 

“Kirishima? What a nice surprise, you normally don’t visit my room. I’m guessing you need something?” The muscular, green haired boy asked with curious, big eyes, an easy smile permanent on his face. The redhead felt a bit stupid, honestly, but he supposed that if anyone knew where the blonde might have gone, it would be Midoriya. He rubbed his neck subconsciously as he spoke. “Yes, actually. I was wondering if you knew where Bakugou went. I really need to talk to him and I can’t find him anywhere.”  

He didn’t know that those round, green orbs could get any bigger, but the concern that was accompanying them made Kirishima’s stomach drop. For a moment a small, breathy oh was the only sound in the empty hallway, causing his hands to turn as cold as ice. The greenette swallowed and his face was painted with sadness, and maybe even a hint of pity.  

“Kacchan’s not here anymore.” He spoke finally, softly, but the redhead desperately wished he hadn’t. “Didn’t he tell you? He had accepted the two-year contract of an agency in...” He stopped, turning his head to the side. His hands were wringing in his shirt as he looked at anything but Kirishima. He couldn’t take the waiting though. “ What agency? Where is it? ” He shot out at the smaller boy who shrugged together for a second by the sudden loud noise.  

... 

“America... He left this morning... four hours ago. He had said goodbye to everyone either this morning or last night...” 

And just like that his mind went blank, any hope lost to the deep void that was rapidly forming in his chest. His mothers had always told him to be careful when he would fall in love someday, or he might get hurt along the way. Now, he really wished he would have taken their words more seriously.  

It hurt 

It hurt so bad he felt like passing out. His eyes stung and he felt water gather on their waterlines. He wasn’t sure how long he just stood there, staring at Deku, probably looking like he was having the biggest breakdown, but eventually he was able to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat and managed to croak out a humourless huff. Empty and void of any emotion. 

“No, he hasn’t told me... thanks...” 

And with that he turned around, heading for the stairs leading up to his own room. 

He had had a lot of doubts and fears ever since he was little, but whenever he couldn’t bare them, there had been someone by his side, with determined, burning eyes and ashen hair and he wasn’t scared anymore. But now... now he was alone, left to himself and the world had never felt so heavy, so empty before, and he had never been more terrified. His heart crumbled into rough, sharp pieces inside his unbreakable chest, like porcelain caught in an unforgiving explosion.  

Fragile and weak. 

As delicate as their friendship was... had been...