Chapter Text
Rick had been driving through the night and arrived home about an hour before Drew came from work. They lay in bed, skin to skin, all day. Made up for weeks of being apart. They had so much to talk about that they did not know where to start and instead fell silent.
Rick had no desire to go to work. His entire body was tired and sore. He just wanted to stay close to Drew. But finally they crawled out of bed, prepared for the nights’ work and made spaghetti for an early dinner. They sat down beside each other, instead of on opposite sides of the table, so they could touch easier.
“I still don’t understand how they could make you work this shift,” Drew muttered, filling his plate.
“They are short-staffed. Apparently everybody have been working a lot of overtime the last few weeks. We are trying to lay a trap for the drug cartels in the city,” Rick explained. Again.
“But you just came home after working non-stop for six weeks in New Mexico!” Drew waved his fork in the air. ”You have probably trained their entire police force! No one can make you do a SWAT night shift first thing when you get home! You should at least have a weekend of! And your daughter-to-be wants to see you!”
Thinking about Brianna made Ricks heart swell, and his stomach knot all at once. It all had felt unreal when he was away. He had, except for work, needed to take several courses to become an approved foster parent, and he had hardly had time to sleep.
The weight of it all suddenly hit him. They would be responsible for her. Always. At least until she turned eighteen. He picked at his food. What if… they could not give her what she needed? What if she was damaged for life because they could not manage to be good parents? What if they hurt her? And her medical needs…
“Rick!”
“I repeat. They are short-staffed,” He just wanted Drew to shut up so he could think. Would they actually manage to be dads? Would they be able to protect her from everything in the world?
“You need to learn how to say no,” Drew insisted.
“I know.” Rick put his fork down with a clatter. “I can’t believe we are going to be parents, Drew!”
Drews’ eyes met his.
“Me neither,” he said finally. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I have no idea what to do! What do you and I know about raising a girl? I mean,” Rick added when he saw a worried glint in Drews’ eyes, “it’s awesome. You know I always wanted to be a dad. And she seems to be amazing, but…”
Rick had only met Brianna once over breakfast in the hospital cafeteria, way before they decided anything at all about fostering her. He regretted that he had hardly even managed to talk to her on the phone after they broke the news to her about the adoption. The timing of his stint of work in New Mexico could not have been worse.
“I know,” Drew squeezed Ricks hand. “I am scared too.”
“Are you?” Rick was honestly surprised. “I couldn’t tell. You seem to know exactly what a dad is supposed to do.”
Drew just smiled.
“We will learn,” he said. “And Brianna knows what she wants. She will let us know when we do something wrong.”
“I mean… just everything about… her health.” Rick had started to let it all out and just couldn’t stop. “It… scares me. How am I supposed to help her with everything that she needs?”
Drew squeezed his hand again.
“You will get there,” he sounded so sure it made Rick relax a little. “And there is a doctor living in your house. Did you forget that?”
“No,” Rick muttered. “How could I? You keep telling me to take care of myself every five minutes. I wish you could stop worrying.”
Drews’ eyes darkened and Rick instantly regretted what he said. He took a bite of the spaghetti.
“I may have reasons for worrying! You know what could happen if you don’t take care of your leg properly! I refuse to let you act like an idiot when your health is on the line. And,” he added, “you are a real pain when you pretend you are not in pain.”
Rick glared at him. And then another thought hit him that made his stomach knot.
Did Brianna really want a dad who was not entirely… intact?
For a second he sat frozen with the fork half way to his mouth. How could he not have thought about that before?
“I suppose you told Brianna?” He had to make an effort to sound unconcerned, and that annoyed him.
Drew looked confused. He had apparently been prepared for another reaction entirely.
“About what? What a pain you are when you pretend…”
“My leg! Or lack thereof. She knows, right?” His stomach went even tighter when Drew did not answer immediately.
“No,” Drew said finally. “I mean, I don’t think so. I am sure she would have asked if she had noticed when you met. I didn’t think about telling her. Should I have?”
Rick shrugged, as if it didn’t concern him at all. Why would it, anyway?
Drew looked sharply at him.
“Is that what worries you? What she will think?”
Drew knew him all to well.
“All I wanted when I was a teenager was to be normal,” Rick mumbled. “Have a normal family, look normal, like girls like every normal guy did. I was embarrassed because my mom liked to wear weird clothes! Brianna will get the dad with the metal leg, who limps and gets stared at. Except for… everything else. She should… at least know about it.” The insecurity that rose in his chest annoyed him. He thought he had made peace with his disability.
Drews’ hands came around Ricks face and caressed his neck. Their eyes met.
“You are the most considerate person I know. You see people. You listen. You protect those you love fiercely. You are going to be a great dad.” Drew sounded so sure. “It has nothing to do with your leg. And Brianna is clever enough to know that.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” There was such calm in Drews’ voice it made Ricks stomach unknot a little. “And the only reason people stare at you is that you are ridiculously hot. For the record.”
“If you say so.” Rick could not help but smile a little. He put his hands over Drews’, still resting around his neck. “It’s just… everything happened so fast. We promised to adopt her despite me and Brianna hardly ever met. Maybe it was a mistake to ask her at this point. What if it doesn’t work out?”
“I get that this is weird for you,” Drew mumbled. He suddenly looked so vulnerable that Rick regretted saying all those things. “But I thought you had decided for sure…”
“I am sure.”
They had planned to wait until Rick and Brianna knew each other better before they made a decision about adoption. But suddenly her health had gone downhill so badly they didn’t know if, or how long she would survive. Drew turned into a zombie who could talk about nothing but the necessary lung transplant. They had gotten an approval to be foster parents and then Drew had called Rick one morning, completely crushed, and told him everything about how Brianna almost got her lungs that night.
That was when Rick had realized Drew would never be able to let Brianna go. That the decision had been made, whether Rick liked it or not. So he had done the only right thing. He had told Drew to ask her if she wanted to become theirs, and Drew did not object. Just short of half an hour later Rick had received a phone call. Both Drew and Brianna had been teary eyed and giggling with excitement.
“If I had said no to Brianna,” Rick said, “it would have destroyed us. You would never have forgiven me. Don’t deny that.”
Drew was silent for a long time, staring down at the table.
“You are probably right.” His voice was soft.
“But that is okay,” Rick continued. “It is obvious that you are supposed to be her dad, and you have to do this. And we are a team, so I am going to do it with you. The rest will just have to sort itself out. That we don’t know each other is easy to solve now that I am home. I could bring breakfast for you guys tomorrow after work, how about that?”
Drew had tears in his eyes.
“I love you,” his voice thick. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I love you to,” Rick said softly.
“I am so scared that she…” Drew choked and swiped at his eyes.
“…won’t get her lungs in time?” Rick finished for him.
Drew only nodded.
“It would be so unfair,” he whispered.
Rick had no idea what to say. He put his arms around Drew, and Drew rested his head against his shoulder.
“Those lungs can show up anytime,” Rick said at last. “You said so yourself. It is way to early to give up hope.”
“God, I missed you so much,” Drew mumbled.
For a long time, they just held each other.
“By the way,” Drew glanced at the clock on the wall, “I am going to met TC and have a beer before I see Brianna before my shift.”
“Oh really? Should I be jealous?”
Drew smiled.
“No. But when your husband abandon you on a Saturday night to go to work, you have to find something else to do.”
“Of course. Poor you. Good thing you have other good looking men around, who can entertain you for two hours before you need to go to work yourself.”
“He hasn’t been himself lately,” Drew was suddenly serious. “I just want to… you know… check in and see if anything is going on.”
Rick nodded. He understood.
“And, hot stuff?” Drew added.
“Yes?”
“If we don’t hurry, someone is going to be late for work.”
…
Brianna sat in bed, curled in on herself. Or at least as much as she could and still be able to breath.
Drew had said that he would come. He had promised.
But he wasn’t here.
She would get new lungs. Tonight. Now. Soon.
And Drew wasn’t here.
It would be some time before they could start, Scott had said. The lungs would be flown in from Houston.
And Drew wasn’t here.
She held her copy of The Lion, The Which and the Wardrobe in a death grip. Fought to focus on the text she knew almost by heart.
She had waited for Drew until his shift started. And then waited some more.
Nina had arrived. Instead of Drew. She had explained that no one, no one knew where he was. Nina used her comforting tone of voice, but Brianna did not hear a word.
It wasn’t the first time she had waited and felt hope turn into anger and then despair. Not the first time Nina had to cancel other plans and come instead of someone else, who had promised.
People changed their minds all the time. Especially when it came to taking responsibility for a teenager with complex medical needs. Brianna knew that better than anyone.
…
When someone tried to call for the third time Rick interrupted the briefing with the team to see who the caller was. San Antonio passed by outside the window of the armored car.
SAMH, the display said. Why would they call him?
“Hello,” he answered.
“Rick!” It was Kenny. “Thank God you are back in Texas! Because you are back, right? At least Drew was in a hurry to get home this morning…”
“Yes, I am home, but at work. What is going on?”
“Well… You don’t happen to know where your husband is?” Kenny sounded worried. “He hasn’t showed up and he doesn’t answer his phone.”
“What?” Ricks heart started to beat faster. “He didn’t come to work?” He looked at his watch. Drews’ shift should have started 20 minutes ago.
“No.”
Ricks thoughts where spinning.
“He was supposed to come see Brianna more than an hour ago. Did he not call her either?”
“No. And about Brianna… we really need to get a hold of Drew. Now.”
“What do you mean?” Ricks stomach twisted. If there was an emergency that involved Brianna it was probably a bad thing. Unless…
“A donation came through.” Kenny said hurriedly. “We got the news just now. A transplant team is on their way. She will get her lungs.”
Rick closed his eyes.
“Are you sure? Like a hundred percent sure?” He did not want a repeat of the fiasco from last week.
“Yes,” Kenny said. “It is a total match.”
“Wow!” Rick struggled to think. Before he could say anything else, there was a scraping noise and the call was cut. He didn’t care about trying to call Kenny back. Instead he called Drew. When he finally came through after the temporary interference he came to voice mail.
“Drew, call me,” was the only thing he could say around a growing lump in his throat before he hung up.
At least one medium sized catastrophe was required to keep Drew from getting to work on time. And even more to prevent him from calling if he was late. Rick just stared at the phone for some time, suddenly feeling cold.
A hand grabbed his shoulder.
“Lincoln? What is going on? Are you okay?” It was Cooper, one of his closest colleagues.
Rick shrugged.
“Drew,” he said. He looked up and realized that they where all staring at him. “My husband,” he added, since not everyone on the team knew him well. “He didn’t come to work. We don’t know where he is.”
His voice seemed to come from far away.
“Good for you we have access to the police database,” Troy said, and pulled a touch pad out of its case and started to type. “We should find him in no time. At least if he has been involved in something. Andrew Alister, right?”
“Yes.”
Rick tried time and time again to call Drew, mostly because he needed something to do. His brain kept playing all kinds of possible scenarios he could come up with. And they where many. He was a cop. He had seen a lot. Accidents, robbery, murder, assault… The thought that he might never get to see Drew again made him shake with cold.
“Ah.” Troys voice. Only a few minutes could possibly have passed, but to Rick it felt like years. “Not to worry, Lincoln. They have probably had fun. In jail. Bar fight.”
“What?”
Rick jerked the touch pad out of Troys hand and read the report that had been filed barely half an hour earlier. It was true. Drew and a certain Thomas Charles Callahan had been taken to jail because they had disturbed the order by starting a fight in the bar Sticky Fingers. His worry turned into anger. A fight? In a bar? Now? When Briannas’ future was on the line and it was crucial that they at least appeared responsible? He swore. For several minutes straight.
Now that he new that Drew was okay, his thoughts turned to Brianna. His heart clenched when he thought about what she must be going through right now. She was just a kid. She needed someone with her. And what sucked the most was that the closest thing she had to a parent was Drew. And he was in jail.
Someone had to go there and bail them out. Rick knew that well enough. But that didn’t stop him from calling the jail and, with the power of his best commanders voice, try to get them released. Unfortunately, that did not work, the person at the other end of the line informed him. The whole thing would have been less annoying if the jail wasn’t in the other end of the city.
“At least let me talk to him, for Gods sake!” Rick growled into the phone.
It took some time, but then came Drews’ voice.
“Hello?”
“Drew!”
“Rick! Thank God!”
“What the hell are you doing?” Rick nearly shouted.
“TC started a fight,” Drew said. “I had to help him.”
“It doesn’t matter! Brianna will get her lungs! The donation came through!”
“What?” Rick could hear Drew take a deep breath. “You have to get me out! Right now!”
“I’ll see what I can do. It will probably take some time. Someone have to come to you to bail you out.”
Drew made a noise that told Rick exactly what he felt when he heard that.
“Is someone with Brianna?”
“I am not sure. I don’t think so. Possibly Nina?”
“Well, can you get there?” Drews’ voice was sharp.
Later, Rick would be embarrassed that he hadn’t thought about that until now. That it was time for him to step up and be a dad. He looked the team over and agreed with himself that they had enough capacity to make do without him. He glanced out the window and calculated how fast he could get to SAMH from this part of the city. If he could find a cab he would be there in less than twenty minutes.
“Rick?” Drew sounded impatient.
“Yes,” Rick said. “Should be possible. Where do I find Brianna?”
“Room 407. Take the elevator from the main entrance to the fourth floor, pediatrics, and turn right twice. And…”
“Yes?”
Rick could hear Drew swallow hard.
“Just… give her a hug for me okay?”
“Heh. If she allows it. I doubt she will be very happy until you get there.”
“Rick, just be you and you will be fine. It is just a matter of time before she realizes what a big softy you are.”
“I am not!” Rick protested indignantly.
“My apologies, officer.” Drew said. “I wouldn’t want you any other way,” he added softly before he hung up.
Rick squeezed the phone hard between his fingers.
“Smith,” he said, voice rough. “Could you take command tonight? And does anyone know the fastest way to get an idiot out of jail?”
…
Brianna was just to distracted to read, or even talk to Nina. She did not know for how long she had been sitting there, trying to squeeze comfort from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, when Kenny stuck his head in.
“News,” he said. “Rick called. Drew is in jail. People are working on getting him out.”
Ninas’ eyes turned dark.
“You have got to be kidding me!”
“Unfortunately not,” Kenny tried to placate her.
“What happened?” Nina wanted to know.
Kenny hesitated.
“Well… Rick said… something about a fight in a bar…”
Brianna dug her fingers into the blanket.
“Good God!” Nina looked ready to murder someone. “He convinced me he was so responsible!”
“He is,” Kenny said calmly. “This is a mistake. And,” he looked straight at Brianna. “Rick is on his way.”
“What?” Brianna exclaimed. “Why?”
He gave her a weird look.
“To see you. He will be here as soon as he can. Apparently he was at work.”
She stared at him. She did not expect that.
She had learned early in life never to make a mess that caused foster parents to be disturbed at work. It never turned out well. Never. The thought that Rick would leave his work shift for her sake almost made her panic.
She had come to the conclusion that Rick did not care about her. He didn’t visit, didn’t call and didn’t answer his phone. Drew had explained that Rick was in New Mexico. And Rick had sent several messages with apologies for not being able to call.
But she did not believe it. She had heard it all before. She had also decided that it didn’t matter. If she just got to live with Drew, it was fine if Rick was totally boring, insanely busy or didn’t care for her at all.
A minute later, Kenny had left in a hurry and Nina had stepped out to answer another phone call. She looked more worried by the minute, and Brianna knew it was only a matter of time before she would need to go and rescue some other kid.
She should have felt comforted by the fact that she knew where Drew was and that he was okay. But the more she waited, the more sure she became that Drew, just like everybody else, had abandoned her. She needed him, and he wasn’t here. He had promised to come, but hadn’t showed up.
It felt like a black hole was eating her from the inside and threatened to swallow her whole. Rick would surely come only to tell her that they had changed their mind. That they didn’t want her any more.
It was probably to much to ask, she decided and hugged herself. That she would get both a family and new lungs. All that was probably just not in the stars for her.
She wiped angrily at the tears running down her face.
To be continued…
…
Authors note: So I have no idea about the rules of the Texas police or getting people out of jail. Just made it up for the story. Bear with me here, okay?