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He stares at the bottle in his hand, rolling it between his fingers as he readies himself for what’s about to happen.
The white witch had given him a warning, and rightfully so, to only take a small sip. It’s an addicting concoction, she says, one she only gives to those she deems have enough rhyme and reason to have it.
He’s not sure if he’s really worthy of her blessing. He could only guess that her decision to hand him the potion she cherishes and fears the most has a lot to do with the person he was doing it for. He was her apprentice after all.
“Yixing?”
Junmyeon’s voice pulls him out of his reverie, sitting up straighter to indicate his full attention.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Junmyeon asks. “We can still try other ways.”
“We’re running out of time,” Yixing replies. “You’re a great healer, Junmyeon, and I’m so happy that you did everything you can to figure this out. But whatever it is that’s keeping him unconscious is obviously something far beyond our current capabilities.”
Junmyeon sighs in acceptance. His wanting to try something else was a futile attempt to convince Yixing that another solution was out there. But they’ve already exhausted all efforts and have yet to find a cure. As much as he is wary about the witch’s prized potion, Junmyeon knew it was the closest Yixing can get to answers.
“I’ll be here to watch you take it,” Junmyeon says after a few tense moments. “I’ll make sure you only take enough, and I’ll stay to pull you out just in case.”
Yixing nods his head in thanks before turning his gaze across the room, eyes landing on the prone form attached to several machines that serve as the only indication that the person connected to several tubes and wires is still alive.
With one final resolute breath, Yixing pops the bottle cap to take a sip of the potion.
“I’ll see you in my dreams, Byun Baekhyun.”
**
Yixing didn’t have a clue as to what was waiting on the other side. The potion made him a little woozy and a whole lot disoriented. So when he finds himself standing in a field of flowers rather than the middle of a hospital room, he could only hope that it was the potion coming into effect and not acting as a trap. He has just ten minutes to figure things out.
“How did you get here?”
Yixing quickly spins around to find where the voice came from, breath hitching when his gaze lands on Baekhyun. Yixing takes note of every expression that comes across Baekhyun’s face—surprise, confusion, relief, longing, and, most notably, love.
“Qian,” came Yixing’s simple answer.
Realization comes to Baekhyun’s face when he hears the witch’s name leave the other’s lips. “She gave you her most prized Morpheus potion. Why?”
“For you.”
Yixing hates the sight of tears coming to Baekhyun’s eyes, so he rushes forward before any of them can fall. Baekhyun flinches at the feeling of Yixing’s fingers against his cold, sallow cheeks. But it only takes him a split second before leaning into Yixing’s warm palms.
“Is she okay?”
“She sends her regards.”
“That doesn’t sound like her,” Baekhyun snorts.
Yixing had enough in him to chuckle. “You’re right, she didn’t say that. What she really said is that you need to stop being lazy and come back.”
“I wish I knew how,” Baekhyun replies defeatedly.
“I’ll help you figure it out.”
“Yixing, that potion-”
“I know,” the other interjects. “Qian told me to be careful with it. Junmyeon is monitoring me on the other side. He’s sorry he couldn’t do much to help before it came to this.”
A small smile forms on Baekhyun’s lips as he shook his head free of Yixing’s grasp. “I know he did everything he can before you had to run to Qian. Tell him thank you, for helping me, for watching over you.”
Yixing takes in the wistful look on Baekhyun’s face and couldn’t help but gather him into his embrace. “We’ll get you out of here. I promise.”
**
It takes Yixing three doses of the potion before he realizes that the field he meets Baekhyun at is changing. It was subtle and gradual, much like the changing of the seasons from spring to summer, and summer to fall. What was once a field of blooming flowers began to transition into dry grass, with the blossoms becoming less and less, and fewer colors to dot its expanse.
Now on his fourth dose, Yixing wonders if this is just due to the passing of time or if it’s an indication of something else.
“Why are you here again? It’s too soon since the last visit.”
“Qian checked on me to make sure I was doing as she told,” Yixing replies smoothly. “She said I still looked fine, so I consulted her about taking another one this quickly. She gave me the okay.”
“You don’t have to risk so much just for me.”
“I will always grab at all the chances I can have with you, Baek,” Yixing says solemnly. “We all want to figure out what got you here so that you can come back to us.”
Baekhyun sniffs, a poor attempt at stopping the emotions from lodging in his throat. He doesn’t want to admit that he was losing hope prior to Yixing’s first potion-induced visit. Because doing that also meant having to admit that he still doesn’t have as much hope that he can get out of this dream alive.
And he didn’t want Yixing to suffer through that possibility.
**
Yixing gasps at the sight that greets him in the tenth dream. The flowers had gone completely, and in their place was dead grass. It was too great a difference from his last visit.
Baekhyun sits dejectedly in the middle of the once blossoming field as if he was mourning the loss of color around him. The sadness in his face makes Yixing choke back a sob at the idea that they may really be running out of time.
Yixing approaches Baekhyun, but before he could reach the other, was stopped in his tracks by the next words.
“I know why I’m here.”
Yixing feels his heart crack at the sound of Baekhyun’s voice. It was as if all hope and light had gone out, and all that was left is a shell of his former self. He isn’t sure if he wants to know the answers anymore.
But Baekhyun knew him well. Baekhyun stands from where he sat and walks the few steps toward Yixing. He takes the other’s hand in his, thumb grazing at Yixing’s palm as a gesture to calm him down.
“I’ll show you in the next dream.”
**
“You have to let me go.”
It’s the eleventh dream, and Yixing feels like Baekhyun just punched him in the gut with that greeting.
He tries to make light of it, saying “If I let you go, I can’t see you anymore.”
The corners of Baekhyun’s lips turn up slightly, a sad smile gracing his face. “I don’t think we have a choice in the matter.”
Yixing intertwines his fingers between Baekhyun’s, a silent signal to say he was ready to find out what’s happening. Baekhyun sighs before leading Yixing to the farther side of the field, a place neither of them has explored before.
As soon as they reach the edge, Yixing wishes for a different answer.
Sat atop a rock was Azrael himself, the keeper of the scroll of fate, the angel of death, the transporter of souls.
“It’s time.”
**
Yixing wakes from the eleventh dream with a loud wail, startling Junmyeon and Qian who were waiting for him on the other side. The healer and the witch rush towards him, sharing a worried glance when Yixing dissolves into harsh sobs.
They all had hope. They thought it was a curse that they could break, that perhaps it was some dark magic keeping Baekhyun under.
None of them ever had the strength to think that maybe it was just his time.
Yixing heaves a deep breath, hoping to be able to utter the words and have Junmyeon and Qian figure out an alternative solution.
“Azrael is with him,” Yixing says, each word emphasized with a sob.
Junmyeon jumps away from Yixing as if the news physically burned him. He turns to the hospital bed and began checking the charts and machines as if they could give him more answers.
Qian’s gaze travels between the distraught Yixing and frantic Junmyeon. A curse they can break, but Azrael was an inevitable they can’t fight against.
Qian swallows a lump in her throat before allowing one delicate hand to reach for Yixing’s shoulder. “Let me see,” she whispers.
Yixing nods in consent, turning his head to face her fully so she can look through his mind.
Despite his duties, Azrael was a beautiful sight to behold. He comes with a peaceful countenance, one can even argue as apologetic. The hood barely hides his enchanting beauty, but the scythe he holds betrays any calm he may exude.
“His soul is made for different things,” Azrael speaks. “It’s not one meant for this lifetime.”
Baekhyun just looks at Yixing, the same sad smile and encouraging eyes prompting him to ask anything he could think of. He doesn’t know where he found the strength, but he was able to speak otherwise. “Why hold onto him for so long?”
“He never asked for it himself, just in case you thought that way,” Azrael replied. “One look into his being and I can tell that he needed time. He’s forgotten over the length of his stay, but he did talk about you, the healer, and the witch. He needed time.”
Azrael trails off, but Yixing somehow knew the rest of the story.
Baekhyun would have wanted the chance to say goodbye to him, and that Junmyeon can keep him alive long enough for Qian to relent in giving him the Morpheus potion.
Qian gasps as the realization hits her, tearing Junmyeon’s attention from the life support machines. Yixing continues to sob as the witch and the healer lock gazes.
Qian can only shake her head. “Let it go, Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon opens his mouth to protest, but Yixing’s broken voice stops him from saying anything else.
“Let him go, Junmyeon.”
**
The only certain thing in life is death, Yixing is well aware of that. But the sudden loss of Baekhyun was something he still couldn’t wrap his head around.
The Morpheus potion only gives him ten minutes to visit the realm between life and death. For eleven dreams, he was able to see the love of his life again, hoping against everything that Yixing could pull him out.
It was the eleventh dream when Yixing had to learn to let go, but with only so much time to gain answers, he knew he had to go back for more.
He stares at the bottle in his hand, rolling it between his fingers as he readies himself for what’s about to happen.
Qian warned him, and rightfully so, to only take a small sip and only take it a few times. It’s an addicting concoction, she says, one she only gives to those she deems have enough rhyme and reason to have it.
Yixing isn’t sure if he’s still worthy of her gift, but Qian never took the Morpheus potion away from him. Perhaps she knew he still needs it.
**
Yixing doesn’t expect to see Azrael in the twelfth dream.
“I knew you would come back,” the angel of death says simply. “Baekhyun told me just as much.”
“His next life,” Yixing starts in a whisper, “will he be happy?”
“Yes.”
Yixing’s eyes begin to water, mouth quivering as he tries and fails to hold back a sob.
“I’ll see you again soon, Zhang Yixing.”