Chapter Text
The day after the wake, Ryan gets up at five like he always does. The sun will be up in a bit, and he groggily puts a hand out for his phone. There are a few notifications.
His dad from late last night, after he’d closed the Lantern.
Hey. Back to work tomorrow, yeah? You feeling up to it? You can always take more time.
Ryan smiles. He dad could be gruff, but his actions spoke loudly. The fact that he was letting Alex stay, rent-free, until she figured out what she wanted. The way that he’d taken Gabe in and done just the same.
Yeah, he texts back. I’m ready. Thanks dad.
And then one from Steph.
hey. you okay? yesterday was rough.
He answers this one too, quick fingers.
Yeah, thanks for checking in. Sorry about the wake. Buy you a coffee to make up for it?
He knows Steph won’t reply for a few hours. He scrolls down the list. Alex. Opens up the chat again.
He’d messaged her last night, after they set the lantern off and he’d finally made it home. Thanked her for everything.
im glad i could help.
An understatement. Ryan doesn’t know what would’ve happened if she hadn’t arrived. If they hadn’t, together, found a way forward. He smiles and reaches up to rake a hand through his messy hair, remembering the way Alex looked in the sunlight, eyes crinkled with laughter.
Her… powers. What a thing. What a strange place the world could be.
Ryan gets out of bed and heads for the shower. It will be good to be back at work.
*
He slides the coffee, frothy, too sweet for his tastes, across the counter to Steph.
“Bout time. I’ve got a raging headache.” Steph takes off the lid and slurps off the cream in that way he hates.
“Ugh.” He sniffs. “You savage.”
“Coming from you, man of the mountains. God, do you own anything that’s not plaid?”
Ryan tugs at his flannel jacket self-consciously.
“Yeah. I’ll change into it as soon as you lose the beanie.”
Steph makes a face at him and then proceeds to slurp loudly from her coffee. She saunters around the counter, collapsing into the chair by the store’s front window. Ryan joins her, leaning against the record cabinets.
“So,” she says, finally. “He’s really gone, eh?”
Ryan wipes a hand across his chin.
“Yeah. He is.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
Steph puts her coffee down and stands. Moves to the record player and fiddles with the cables. Then she sets a record on and sets the needle in place.
Acoustic guitar and a woman’s voice fill the shop. Ryan looks up at the ceiling and takes a steadying breath.
God, how many times had he made fun of Gabe for his breathy women musician aesthetic?
“Alex seems pretty real.” Steph says. “It’s funny. They missed so much of each other’s lives, but I feel like sometimes when I’m talking to her, he’s the one that answers.”
“Yeah,” Ryan finds himself agreeing. “They’re so different in a lot of ways.”
“Alex is nowhere near as lame as Gabe,” Steph agrees.
“And yet sometimes, I see something familiar,” Ryan continues. “That thing where she’s just, you know, really listening.”
“Yeah,” Steph finishes. “Like Gabe would.”
“Yeah.”
They fall quiet. The music swells. It’s a song about heartbreak. Of course it is.
“To Gabe,” Steph says, lifting her abomination of a coffee.
“To Gabe,” he taps his Americano – not a fifty-dollar Americano – against her cup.
The moments stretch out and a sense of contentment settles over Ryan’s shoulders. He checks his watch. Only about fifteen minutes left of lunch break. He takes another sip of the bitter coffee.
“So, you gonna try to bang his sister or what?”
Ryan splutters, coffee spurting out his lips and onto his hand.
“Fuck, Steph,” he shakes his wrist and wipes the back of his hand on his jeans.
“What?” She says, rocking back on the chair and stretching her legs out long, resting boots on the coffee table. “Just want to give you fair warning.”
“Warning?” Ryan’s face is burning. He hates that it is – knew if it wasn’t, Steph wouldn’t say the kind of shit that she does.
“Yeah,” Steph shrugs, a smirk curling on her lips. The bloody woman. “I asked if she was into girls.”
“Oh,” Ryan says trying not to interrogate the sick swell of something taking hold in his stomach. “And I guess…”
“Yup. But don’t cry yet.”
“I don’t see any tears here, Steph.”
“Yeah, but they’re stoic park ranger tears. Everyone knows those are invisible.”
“You’re impossible.”
“And Alex is bi. So wipe the invisible tears away. You still got a chance.”
“I don’t want a chance –”
“Course you don’t. That’s why you’re beet red up to that gorgeous hair of yours. That’s why I saw you two walking into town side by side all aglow yesterday.”
“Steph,” Ryan rakes a hand through his hair without thinking, trying not to let his brain go into overdrive. This is not what he needed today. Never mind the fact that all morning his mind was replaying scenes from the ravine yesterday. Remembering that feeling of Alex’s fingers between his shoulder blades, her breath on his neck, her scent – oranges, faint and floral – filling his senses. Never mind that after a day with her, he’d had the best night of sleep since the accident.
“Dude,” Steph says, emphatic. “This could be good for you. You need to get over Sara. The fucking ho-”
“Stop.” Ryan says, straightening. “Don’t say anything about her.”
“I can’t believe you’re still fucking defending her. Dude, she broke your heart. You moped for a literal year.”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Steph.” Ryan grabs his coffee and heads for the door.
“Look,” Steph stands, putting her hands up in a mollifying gesture. “I just – I think that… well. Whatever man. It’s your life. I’m just, you know, trying to help.”
“Oh yeah, then why’d you ask her if she’s into girls?” Ryan finds himself biting back. Because it’s happened more than once. Him and Steph being into the same girl. And Steph loved to win.
And Ryan – well, he wasn’t a pusher. He didn’t just go for it. That’s why it had hurt. So much. With Sara. He’d gone for it, the thing they all swore they wouldn’t do. Dated a transplant. And look where that got him.
Ryan couldn’t go through that again. Not that he had any plans with Alex, of course, but it was the idea of it all.
“Cuz I had a hunch.” Steph says, evasively.
“Or cuz you like the idea of getting with her yourself.”
“Woah, Ryan. Calm down. Look. I barely know the girl. Though I won’t deny she’s hot as hell.”
Ryan glowered.
“I’m teasing.”
Right. Of course, she was. It’s Steph. What the hell is wrong with him these days? Ryan inhales, deeply, stares at the floor.
“Sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just in a weird place right now, you know.”
“Yeah,” Steph steps closer, putting a comforting hand on his arm. “We all are.”
“And Alex. Everything about her is all tied up in –” Ryan stops. Inhales sharply.
“In what happened,” Steph finishes.
“Yeah.”
“Hey,” Steph comes in for a hug and Ryan doesn’t resist, moving his coffee-hand aside to make room.
“It’s not your fault, you know. Nobody thinks that it is.”
“Thanks. My brain knows that’s true but…”
“But you forget sometimes cuz you got all these other useless facts in there like that’s not how to tie a proper bowline Steph and it’s obviously a rocky mountain bee plant, excellent for local pollinators and blah blah,” she says, pulling away. She gives his head a playful smack.
“So you are capable of listening to another human being,” he says, backpedaling for the door.
“Get out while you still have your dignity, Lucan.”
Ryan laughs and lets the door clatter shut behind him.
He checks his phone as he walks back to work. He’s stationed at the visitor center front desk all afternoon, and he’s got lots to keep busy.
Still nothing from Alex. He tries to keep his mind from wandering back to Steph’s comment, but it’s a lost cause.
So, you gonna try to bang his sister or what?
Jesus. He can’t even think it without blushing. Why did Steph have to be so crass?
What’s he supposed to do with that thought? What would Gabe have said? Not about sex, but just… about… well. About Ryan and his sister.
Alex. He wouldn’t deny that she was beautiful. That he was coming to crave the sound of her laugh. That her wit slid in next to his awkwardness in a way that made him improbably comfortable.
But what could he do with those feelings? It’s not like they meant anything. Just cuz he’d spent time thinking about the shape of her smile, the curve of her lips –
He’s about to reach for the door to the visitor’s center when it swings open and a small figure emerges, a map held in front of her face.
“He –”
Alex bumps into him and squeaks, taking a step back.
“Oh, Ryan.” Her faces breaks into a smile and Jesus Christ he has to think of something else, anything else, because God knows how her powers work or what she can hear and the last thing he wants are his memories and Steph’s comments floating around in the ether that is apparently his brain.
“Is that…” he steps aside to let her out into the street. “Is that trail map?”
“Oh yeah.” Alex looks down at the pamphlet. “I uh. Figured if I was going to be sticking around for a bit, I should try this out this wilderness stuff, yeah?”
Ryan laughs and her cheeks turn slightly pink.
“No, sorry, not laughing at you. It’s a great idea,” he says with a warm smile. “It’s just cute. Calling it ‘wilderness stuff.’”
She flushes deeper.
“So, were you thinking Shorefell Heights or the Gleeson’s Falls?”
She blinks up at him.
“The trails,” Ryan says slowly. Where has his cool gone? “Those are our most beginner friendly ones.”
She blinks again.
“To be honest, I don’t have much of a plan. I was just gonna kinda pick one and go.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Now?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He eyes her from top to toe. Muddy leather boots. Burgundy jeans and a nice plaid shirt. Ryan’s eyes narrow. He leans left and then right.
“You don’t seem to have a bag.”
“Do I… need one?”
“Well, where’s all your gear?”
“What gear?”
“Come on,” he takes her gently by the shoulder and guides her back to the visitor’s center. “You can take mine.”
He slips his jacket off when they get inside, and he hears a small giggle behind him.
“What?” he glances at her as he slips behind the counter, fishing for his daypack. She’s got this little smirk on her lips and one eyebrow arches up.
“You told me you were a ranger when we met. But it just never really occurred to me that, that meant… well.” She gestures at him.
The beige button up is well-fitted across Ryan’s chest and tucked into the dark slacks. His belt buckle is polished, and his boots are worn but respectable. Ryan always keeps his uniform in impeccable order.
“He’s a stud, isn’t he?” Teri bustles in from the backroom and Ryan jumps slightly. The old woman whacks Ryan to move out of her way as she sidles in and takes a seat behind the center’s only computer.
“Yeah,” Alex says with a soft snort. She crosses her arms and shifts her weight. “A total stud.”
Jesus. Are his cheeks on fire?
Ryan clears his throat.
“Don’t let Teri get to you,” he says, trying for an authoritative tone. Alex and Teri exchange loaded glances and share a cackle. He tries not to turn an even brighter shade of red. Can’t think about Alex calling him a stud. Nope. Definitely an off-limit thought. Where is his canteen. Yes. There it is.
“I’m just going to fill this for you, then you’ll be all set.” Ryan disappears into the backroom and tries to get his breathing under control. This wasn’t especially productive. Teri and Alex’s conversation floats through the doorframe.
“Now, lovely lady. Didn’t we set you up with a map already?”
“We did,” Alex agrees. “But Ranger Lucan seemed to think me woefully inadequate for the trails.”
“That boy,” Teri says, and Ryan can picture the way she’s shaking her head. “If you don’t have at least three pocketknives, five gallons of water and a backup pair of shoes, he’ll declare you unready for the trails. Wasn’t the same in my day –”
“Yeah, Teri, we know,” Ryan says, coming to stand next to the older woman. “In your day you did all the trails barefoot and carrying a deer carcass on your shoulders, navigating by starlight.”
“The good old days.”
Alex chuckles, looking between the two of them. Ryan shrugs apologetically and rounds the counter. He’s got his bag in his hands and he slips the full canteen in. And then, maybe on impulse, he grabs two Cliff bars from the counter and shoves them in as well.
“Now, you’ve got a flashlight, extra batteries. Water, some snacks, a compass, a knife, a laminated map. There’s an emergency blanket there, turn it shiny side out if you get stuck somewhere and need –”
“Ryan,” Alex interrupts, reaching forward to take his bag. “I think I’ll be okay.”
“And remember, any animal encounters – they’re more scared of you then you are of them. Make yourself big, make a lot of noise. There are bear bangers in the –”
“Lord in heaven, boy, she’s just doing the Falls, she’s not navigating the Arctic passage,” Teri calls from the desk.
“A good trek starts with good prep.”
“Another one of your mantras?” Alex asks, a half-smile dancing on her lips.
“Lots more where that came from,” he says.
She shrugs his pack on and he leans in to tighten the straps for her.
“Thanks Ryan. Can you tell I don’t have a history of scaling mountains?” She smiles up at him.
“Uh,” something lodges in his throat as he meets her eyes and realizes how close their faces are.
“Supposed to rain this afternoon. In a few hours,” Teri adds helpfully.
“Oh, uh.” Can he even form words anymore? Is he sixteen again?
Rain. Right.
Ryan glances around. But he can’t just give her one of the park umbrellas – the damn things were thirty-five bucks, and so not worth it. So instead, he reaches across the counter and grabs his jacket.
“Here.” He unzips the pack, folds up his flannel, and shoves it inside. “It’ll keep some of the rain off. In case.”
“I’m sure I’ll be back before then,” Alex says. She reaches out and squeezes his arm. “Thanks, Ryan. Really. I’ll get your stuff back to you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
She nods at him, and then at Teri. And then she’s gone.
After a beat, Teri speaks.
“So, you just gonna stare after her for the rest of your shift or…”
Ryan shakes his head. Springs into action, straightening out the displays of maps and pamphlets.
“Sorry, I know there’s lots to –”
“Oh, shut up,” Teri says affectionately. “You know I’m teasing you. Why don’t just go with her then? I can hold down the fort.”
“We have that group coming at two.”
“And I’ve been managing the groups since before you were born, boy.”
“I can’t, Teri. She needs some space, I think. And I’m working.”
“So? Do a trail walk for us then. Take a radio.”
“And put up with you eavesdropping and harping all afternoon?”
Teri cackles again.
“Suit yourself, you stubborn boy. Just don’t let me catch you telling everyone how Teri’s spoiling your game.”
“Right. Because that’s something I’m super likely to say.”
“Hey,” she says, her tone softening, her fingers stilling over the keyboard. She offers him a smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Ryan. And I’m glad to see that… well. That you’re smiling today. I’m sorry about your friend.”
Ryan’s throat swells again. This is what’s hard for him. He’s used to checking in on other people. It was something his mother taught him by example. Reading the room. Looking for any signs of discomfort. Taking the time to ask.
It’s weirder to be on the receiving end. He doesn’t love it.
“Thanks, Teri. It’s good to be back.”
Teri knows that he had paperwork to do, an interview with Pike and then some, after the incident. Even if he was off duty, being a ranger, being on the scene and being on park land meant that protocol had to be followed.
They’d cleared him of all responsibility. Said he made the right call. Before his chat with Alex by the ravine, he’d been angry about that too. Wanted somebody, anybody to blame him.
But now. Well, now they had someone else to blame, didn’t they?
It was good to see Alex taking the time to explore Haven and the park. She couldn’t spend all day cooped up inside, shaking her fist at corporate mega powers.
He just hoped she’d be okay on the trail. Gleeson’s Falls wasn’t a technical hike in any way. It was very popular for the picturesque waterfalls.
As he files away the incident reports, he finds himself wishing that maybe he had listened to Teri. After all, Alex probably wasn’t going to find that little nook behind the smaller offshoot of the falls. That cave where you’d see all kinds of neat amphibians. He could picture her smile as he showed her the cave or as he took her down to that weird microclimate between the outcroppings where the temperature dropped ten degrees.
Ryan clears his throat. He’s filed something wrong. Pulls it out and puts it away properly.
Yup. Definitely a good idea he didn’t go with her.