Chapter Text
A throbbing pain reverberated throughout the body. Feng Xiao could barely hear his own muffled moans as his chest weakly rose and fell. It seemed as if hundreds of tiny needles were making their way through his meridians. Each of them pricked and scraped his insides with every breath. His head pulsated painfully against his skull, the sheer pressure of it all caused small tears to form in his tightly shut eyes. The overwhelming pain seemed to have dulled the sensations he felt on his damp skin, for he could barely feel the cold hand that wiped away a rogue tear that streamed out of the corner of his eye. Feng Xiao tried his hardest to maneuver his neck to lean into that familiar coolness, but the strength required to do so was sapped from his broken body.
“Ququ?” He drawled, his voice scarcely a whisper.
Another hand or perhaps the same hand, tightened around his own, but Feng Xiao wasn’t entirely certain. He desperately tried to open his heavy eyelids to check, but it was only darkness that came to devour his senses once again.
Feng Xiao was a martial artist, so he was no stranger to serious injuries that left him bedridden for days on end. He didn’t gain his immense martial arts prowess from pussy footing around. So when he found himself in the depths of unconsciousness, he wasn’t fazed by the familiar murky nothingness that consumed his consciousness. Or perhaps he didn’t have the energy nor the cognizance to recognize his current predicament. Feng Xiao felt like he was floating. No. He felt like he was encased in amber; perpetually suspended within a thick liquid; unaffected by time or by anything that may or may not be going on around him. Feng Xiao was barely aware of the dull ache of his body. He almost felt at peace, if it weren’t for the nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He was missing something… There was something he had to do, or someone he had to see… Did something happen to him?
This little sliver of consciousness slipped between his fingertips and back into the warm abyss.
Images flashed before Feng Xiao’s eyes. The full moon, a lush forest, a carriage, horses, then dark humanoid figures enshrouded in darkness came into view and receded back into the depths of his mind like Feng Xiao was hurriedly turning the pages of an incomplete novel. The feeling of warmness spread throughout his meridians, calming his rattled nerves as these seemingly disconnected images were replaced with dreams.
Pei Jingzhe tripped into Feng Xiao’s office with a bundle of scrolls and booklets in hand. He was in his normal attire; formal yet comfortable in case a fight broke out. His face contorted in his embarrassment as he repeatedly gestured as if he was apologizing for his clumsiness, but the words that left his lips did not match his actions: “His condition seemed to have stabilized…” His words tapered off as he slipped and fell on a paper that lay on the ground. The documents in his arms scattered across the floor, as he shyly looked into his superior’s eyes. “...poison has been neutralized…” Pei Jingzhe rose only to fall on his face once again.
Feng Xiao reluctantly offered his hand to steady the buffoon. “What nonsense are you spewing now Pei Jingzhe? Who has been poisoned?”
Seeming to not hear Feng Xiao’s line of questioning, he gave a grateful look, and began picking up the scrolls that flew about the office. “...the physician says it is only a matter of time…”
Frustration welled inside of Feng Xiao’s chest. What was this pathetic boy talking about? He was just about to question him again when he noticed that the hand he used to help Pei Jingzhe up was covered with grime, and plump maggots! He could feel blood drain from his face. Feng Xiao squealed, abandoning Pei Jingzhe to boil some water in the kitchen to burn the skin off his dirtied hand.
The path to his destination seemed endless, but he continued to run as fast as his legs could take him. When he opened the door to the kitchen, the sight that greeted him was not what he expected. It seemed that Feng Xiao opened the door to Cui Buqu’s office in the Zuoyue Bureau. Cui Buqu was sitting primmly behind his desk in a clean white outer robe with his hair tightly fastened with a jade hairpin. His slender hand grasped a brush that elegantly glided across a piece of parchment.
“Ququ?” The uncomfortable itch he felt in his hand gradually disappeared.
Cui Buqu’s head slowly peered up to meet Feng Xiao’s confused gaze, the morning rays highlighting his best features. A rare sincere smile formed on his thin lips. “Feng-er.” He sat up to greet the other with a warm hug.
Feng Xiao was definitely dreaming, but his heart still raced in satisfaction as he squeezed the man tightly in their tender embrace.
“I missed you!” Cui Buqu hummed. “Did you miss me?”
Feng Xiao was too awestruck to reply to his beloved who was normally so reserved.
Cui Buqu retreated from their huddle and chuckled bitterly. “I guess it was too presumptuous of this sickly invalid to assume that one with such a handsome appearance would miss his husband…”
Huband?!
Seemingly hurt, the unnaturally sensitive Cui Buqu turned away to tend to his wounds.
Feng Xiao jumped from where he stood and wrapped his arms around the commander’s waist. “O-of course this peerless beauty missed his- um - h-husband … I was merely enamored by your forthrightness!” And fragile heartedness, but he decided to leave that part out.
Another smile found its way on Cui Buqu’s face. And to Feng Xiao’s surprise, it made him very uneasy. This wasn’t his commander.
The other’s grin contorted into an expression of intense concern. “Are you alright dear?”
Feng Xiao gave a laugh to mask his unease. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Cui Buqu gave a flick to Feng Xiao’s head with his usual scowl adoring his cold features. Perhaps this was his Ququ. The frosty commander returned to his desk and began ignoring Feng Xiao as he would in the real world.
“Husband?” Feng Xiao lovingly inquired. He was surprised at how easy it was for that title to roll off his tongue. Cui Buqu continued to ignore him, his brush continuously moving without end. Feng Xiao, vexed that the man was more enraptured by his work than by the stunningly rare peacock that stood before him, advanced towards the commander. “Husband, I thought you missed me?” His hands caressed the other’s stiff shoulders, massaging them slowly and earnestly. But this Cui Buqu seemed to be in another world entirely. He wasn’t so much ignoring Feng Xiao. He was simply oblivious to the other’s presence.
Feng Xiao looked at the words he wrote on the paper: Rest now Feng-er. I won’t leave your side. I promise.
His heart fluttered even though he was not entirely certain why those specific words were written. He looked up from Cui Buqu’s desk to kiss the man that sat by his side, but the scene had once again changed. He now sat alone on the edge of a bed. But, it wasn’t just any bed. It was the one from Cui Buqu’s sleeping quarters. Candles were lit by the bedside, so much of the room was enveloped in the night’s shadow.
Feng Xiao kept silent as he heard a door open and shut. Cui Buqu, clad in various layers of robes sighed as he began to undress.
“Cui Buqu?” By the time he uttered his lover’s name, Cui Buqu was only left with his inner robes and a sea of fabric at his feet.
“Are you just going to sit there Second Commander Feng, or are you going to help me?” The other spat.
This seemed to be more like his Cui Buqu.
“Help you?”
Cui Buqu heaved an even heavier sigh as he let his hair free from the ornaments that bound them, tossing them carelessly onto the floor. Feng Xiao watched adamantly as his hair swished and swayed with his lover’s languid movements. It was a show that Feng Xiao could watch until the end of his days. Cui Buqu slowly walked towards the other with his hands sensually loosening his inner robe.
Perhaps this Cui Buqu wasn’t the man he knew after all. He was never this forward with his desires. Feng Xiao was unsure if he liked this particular version. This Cui Buqu’s body language was more akin to Feng Xiaolian’s than his beloved’s whose endearing shyness and infuriating aloofness made Feng Xiao’s heart swoon. As more of the other’s pale skin was revealed, the more uncomfortable he became.
This was too different; too unusual.
“Ququ - I - um…” He was at a complete loss as to what to do.
Cui Buqu’s last article of clothing lazily glided to the floor, as he made to nestle his head between Feng Xiao’s clothed thighs. Flames of desire smoldered within his dark eyes.
The other man looked away, quickly grabbing his own outer robes and fastened them onto Cui Buqu’s shoulders.
“What are you doing?!” Cui Buqu demanded, his arousal morphed into confusion and frustration. “Isn’t this what you want?”
Isn’t this what he wanted? It isn’t like Feng Xiao hasn’t seen Cui Buqu nude. Sure that was a different time when the Second Commander could never begin to think that he would later yearn to sleep with such a prickly man. But he could not lie and say that he hadn't dreamed how it would feel to bed him now that he has seen Cui Buqu as who he truly is. However, none of these fantasies were like this with Cui Buqu so forward in submitting himself to Feng Xiao. It was unseemly.
Feng Xiao was a flirt by nature, but that does not mean he doesn’t like when Cui Buqu plays hard to get. A game of cat and mouse was his favorite to play after all.
He roused this Cui Buqu from where he sat and settled him by his side, rubbing his shoulders tenderly. “Let’s just wait. Alright Ququ?”
Cui Buqu’s face twisted in anger as he grabbed Feng Xiao’s hand. Despite the ugly expression he wore, he rubbed the other’s calloused hands lovingly as he whispered, “It’s alright now. I’ll wait for you.”
In that instant, the world around him exploded into white light.