Chapter Text
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“Okay, so this is how it goes,” Natasha told them as she took her seat.
*~*~*
It was one of those rare nights when the Avengers not only had a lot of down time on their hands, but more than two of them were in-house on a Saturday night. When she realized she actually had company tonight and everyone was spread out around the compound doing their own things, she came up with an idea she thought would be fun; a drinking game.
So she’d donned her earwig and put out the call. “Anyone out there interested in a drinking game to pass the time?”
She got immediate replies from Tony Stark, of course, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff and her old buddy, Clint Barton. They agreed to meet in the library simply because she knew that’s where they’d find Steve and his old friend Bucky.
“You two are like a couple of old men,” Tony commented as he entered the room. “It’s Saturday night and you’re sitting in here reading.”
Steve and Bucky, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, looked up from their books to look at him and then looked at each other. As if in sync they both looked back at Stark and replied, “We are old men.”
“Well, with that kind of attitude…” Tony pointed out and grabbed a chair nearby to drop into as Bruce and Wanda entered. “We’re playing a drinking game,” he told them. The two new arrivals smiled at the pair on the couch. Bruce maneuvered a chair closer to the coffee table for Wanda and then brought one over for himself.
Steve and Bucky simply watched as their friends came in and took a seat forming a circle with everyone facing one another. Bucky tucked a wayward strand of long hair behind his ear, wondering what exactly was happening. Steve had a small smile on his face, looking rather bemused as he watched them and wondered just how he and Bucky were being set up this time.
The set ups always failed, but he had to appreciate their efforts in trying to catch the two of them up to the 21st century. When Natasha and Clint walked in, carrying bottles of liquor and a tray filled with glasses, Steve simply surrendered his planned evening and snapped the book closed, setting it aside. Bucky had already gone back to reading his book and appeared oblivious to everyone and everything going on around him.
Tony stared at Barnes; widening his eyes dramatically for effect and tilted his head. Steve noticed Tony’s behavior and that he was staring at Bucky intently, so Steve reached for the fruit dish beside him and plucked out a grape. He tossed it at Bucky and it bounced off his collarbone and onto the open page of his book. Bucky simply looked down at it, picked it up and popped it into his mouth before turning the page.
“Barnes!” Tony said sharply, startling Bucky who looked up at him in surprise. That’s when he noticed how many others had joined them. He had the good sense to look abashed as his new friends sat in front of him, each one offering a smile as he looked from one to the next.
“Wh—what’s happening?” he asked softly as if directing the question to Steve.
“I think they want us to play a game,” Steve told him, grinning back at Natasha who took her seat between Wanda and Clint with a suspiciously conspiratorial smile on her face as she set the tray of glasses down on the coffee table.
“Uhhhm… I don’t like games,” Bucky mentioned.
“Really?” Tony responded. “When’s the last time you played one?”
Bucky looked at Tony and was lost for an answer. It wasn’t as though Hydra had field days or bunk-overs.
“Tony,” Steve admonished him quietly for his sharpness and reached over to squeeze Bucky’s shoulder to lend friendly support. “It’ll be okay,” he told him. “Try it. See how it goes.”
Bucky closed the book he’d been reading and set it on the side table to his right. He watched as Clint filled each of the seven glasses with Jack Daniels whiskey and Natasha dropped a large round?? ice cube… in each glass before passing them around. Bucky took his from Clint and looked in the glass as if he would find a distasteful surprise in it. He glanced at Steve as he was handed his own glass and sat back to get comfortable.
*~*~*
“Okay, so this is how it goes,” Natasha told them as she picked up her own glass. “It’s called ‘Never Have I Ever’… we take turns, each one saying something they have never done, ever. If you’ve done the thing that is stated, you take a drink. If you have never done whatever is given, you don’t drink. Got it?”
Steve nodded as he’d heard of this game before.
“Wait, what?” Bucky asked.
“We’ll show you,” Wanda told him with a soft smile. “I’ll go first,” she offered and everyone looked to her, waiting.
Wanda thought about it for a moment and said “Never have I ever… taken a bull by the horns.”
Bucky’s face screwed up in confusion. “Why would you want to?” he asked.
Tony rolled his eyes, while everyone else chuckled.
“Have you ever taken a bull by the horns?” Tony asked him.
“No. Why would I?” Bucky answered.
“Okay, so then you don’t drink,” Natasha told him; cutting off anything Tony might respond.
Bucky looked at Steve still openly confused.
“If you’ve never taken a bull by its horns,” he began to explain.
“I haven’t. Why would I?” Bucky interjected.
Steve smiled, although he couldn’t help but shake his head as he fought down a chuckle. “It’s just an example.
Let’s try another one,” he said, looking to Natasha.
“Never have I ever…” she did her best to think of something she had never done but perhaps Bucky might have. “… kissed a pretty girl on the lips.”
“Too bad, ‘cause I’d like to see that,” Tony remarked.
Bruce and Wanda shot Tony a look and he shrugged. “Well I would.”
At that moment, all the men in the circle took a drink from their glass. When Bucky noticed Steve taking a drink he gave him a questioning look.
“Now you drink,” Steve told him.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because you’ve kissed pretty girls before,” Steve told him. “If you’ve done the thing that is mentioned, you drink.”
“I don’t remember kiss---“
“You have. Trust me on this,” Steve told him. “Drink.”
Bucky looked at the others and raised his glass to take a sip.
“He could actually empty the glass on that one,” Steve mentioned with a grin and Bucky looked at him with wide eyes. Steve just smiled at him.
“Okay, Clint… your turn,” Natasha said.
“Never have I ever… gotten arrested,” Clint said.
Bucky looked at Clint and then to each of the others. The only one who took a sip from their glass was Natasha. He looked at her directly and she realized he was staring at her.
“You drink,” she told him and he furrowed his brow, confused. “You’ve been arrested, so you drink.”
He raised the glass toward his mouth and whispered, “This is supposed to be fun?”
Steve laughed and slapped his hand down on Bucky’s left shoulder.
“It gets more fun, the more you drink,” Tony explained.
“If you say so,” he replied.
“Okay, Bucky it’s your turn. Tell us something you’ve never done,” Wanda told him.
“I’ve never—“
“No, no… you say “Never have I ever,” Natasha told him.
Bucky’s face screwed up in deep thought and his tongue peeked out to wet his bottom lip. Steve just smiled as he watched him. There was just so much about Bucky Barnes he found amusing and it was the littlest of things that made him love the guy more every day. Watching him right now, trying to learn how to play a social drinking game, made it very difficult to believe that this is the same guy who ran across the globe for seventy years annihilating heads of state and tearing down entire governments to lay waste to their agendas. He was the world’s deadliest assassin and he was completely awkward at a game of “Never Have I Ever”.
“Never have I ever…” Bucky echoed and then had to think of something, “gone on a date.”
Everyone looked at Steve for confirmation and he shook his head.
“No, you have done that,” he told Bucky.
“Oh. Did I?” he asked. Steve nodded. “Okay then, ummm… never have I ever… gone on a double date.”
“Nope,” Steve replied and Bucky looked at him baffled.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah, you used to set me up with dates all the time. We’ve been on a few double dates together.”
“Oh,” he said, “okay.”
“Ya’ know…” Tony sat forward in his chair. “Why don’t we just let this play out with whatever Barnes actually can remember doing… or not doing, whatever the case may be.”
“Umm, no, I don’t think…” Steve began, trying to keep this from going into places that might cause Bucky any major upset.
“Why not?” Tony asked. “If he honestly doesn’t remember doing these things then he’s never done them. Right?”
Steve looked to Natasha who was thinking about that. “Natasha,” Steve said, trying to get her to see that this could go very wrong.
Natasha, however, grinned at him because she could see how this could go very right. “I agree. Let him have his memories, as it were. If he doesn’t remember doing it then he doesn’t remember doing it.”
Steve sighed and thought about it. He looked at Bucky who was looking at him. Bucky gave him a shrug. He didn’t really understand this game yet so he didn’t have a preference.
“Okay, but I’m putting a stop to this whole thing if I feel it’s going into ugly territory,” Steve told them.
“It’s just a game, Steve,” Wanda assured him. “We’re not going to do anything to hurt him.”
Steve nodded. “Okay.” He sat back again and tapped Buck on the arm. “Try again.”
Bucky thought for a moment and then said “Never have I ever, spiked a punch bowl.”
“Seriously? Never?” Tony asked, incredulously.
“Tony!” Bruce admonished. “He probably has…” he reminded him. Both Bruce and Tony looked to Steve for confirmation. Steve simply nodded that he had done that, he just doesn’t remember.
“So now I drink?” Bucky asked.
Everyone laughed. “Noooo,” Nat told him. Only the ones who have spiked a punch bowl drink.”
With that, Steve, Tony, Wanda, Nat and Clint all took a drink. Bucky’s eyebrows shot up as he looked around and did a double take when he noticed Steve drinking.
“Really? You?” he asked in disbelief.
Steve smiled and shrugged. “What can I say?”
It was now Steve’s turn and he realized that if they kept on this way, this game was going to get really boring for one former Hydra assassin very quickly , so he had to come up with things for which Bucky would have to drink.
“Okay, my turn,” he said. “Never have I ever… kissed the same girl twice.”
Tony, Clint and Bucky all took a drink. They all looked at Bucky in surprise.
“What?” he asked.
“You only drink if you did it,” Steve said.
“I know,” he replied.
“You’ve kissed the same girl twice?” he asked. Bucky nodded. “And you remember it?” he asked.
“Yeah,” he said, thoughtfully.
“Oh,” Steve replied. “Well… that’s good,” he said and Bucky smiled.
“Okay, Tony, your turn,” Natasha prompted.
“This is easy,” he said. “Never have I ever fallen in love with a man.”
With that Wanda and Bucky drank from their glasses.
“No, no,” Steve said, reaching for Bucky’s glass. “You only drink if you have ever fallen in love with a man.”
Bucky stared into Steve’s eyes and raised his glass to his lips. Steve’s mouth opened slightly in wonder as Bucky took a long swallow.
The others sat in silence looking back and forth between the two men on the couch. Steve’s back straightened, realizing what Bucky had just done. Then he pushed that thought away and sat back against the couch. “He’s still not understanding the rules,” Steve mentioned, trying to get the focus off Bucky’s actions.
Tony was just staring at Bucky with a WTF expression on his face. Wanda and Natasha both smiled softly knowing that Bucky knew precisely what he was doing. Bruce and Clint just seemed confused and wondering what they missed.
“Bruce, your turn now,” Wanda stated.
“Never have I ever… thrown myself onto a grenade,” he said, grinning at Steve.
Steve’s eyes went as wide and round as a dinner plate as he stared at Banner. And he was worried about Bucky being set up??
Bucky grinned at that one as he knew none of these people were crazy enough to --- his thought came to a screeching halt as, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Steve Rogers raising his glass to his mouth.
His head turned slowly toward Steve as he took a drink from his glass. Steve tried to ignore the look he was getting from Bucky but realized he’d just lost the ability to swallow as Bucky glared at him. Steve’s eyes shot to Bucky and away again just as quickly when he saw those steel blue eyes now narrowed and glowering at him. Steve held the liquid in his mouth, not knowing what to do. If looks could kill, he’d be six feet under by now.
“You… what?” Barnes growled between clenched teeth.
The others were trying their damnedest to not laugh outright, but this was just so perfect.
Steve realized his throat had seized up and he couldn’t swallow the mouthful of liquor and raised the glass to spit it back out.
“No, no! Uh uhh!” Tony shot forward trying to take the glass away as Steve let the liquid fall back into the glass.
Bucky was still glaring at him. When he realized what Steve had just done, he said, “That. Doesn’t. Erase it.”
Steve had the good sense to look unabashedly ashamed. Bucky, however, looked downright pissed.
“Ummm… Wanda, your turn,” Clint prompted.
“Okay, ummm… let me go with… never have I ever… jumped out of a plane without a parachute.”
Bucky just sat there watching the others and nobody moved, just as he expected. What person would be stupid enough to--- his eyes went wide as he caught Steve raising his glass.
Bucky’s heart stopped and his breath caught in his chest. He spun on Steve. “What!???”
The others burst out laughing as Steve was finally able to swallow his drink along with his pride.
“Buck, I –“
“Did he just say Buckeye?” Tony said to no one specific and got shushed by Bruce and Wanda.
“What part of ‘Don’t’ do anything stupid until I get back’ don’t you understand??” Bucky demanded to know.
“I’m sorry, I – wait, you remember saying that to me?” Steve said.
“Don’t change the subject,” Bucky said, setting his jaw and folding his arms across his chest. “And, yes, I do remember some things!” he told them.
“That’s great!” Steve said, grabbing onto Bucky’s metal arm trying to give it a shake in his joy.
“Don’t touch me,” Bucky said.
Steve paused and looked at him curiously. He wanted to celebrate that his best friend was regaining some memories of their early years and Bucky was just simply pissed. He let go of the metal arm and slumped slightly as Wanda and the others smirked at him.
“I hate you guys,” Steve told them and they all chuckled.
“My turn,” Natasha announced with a big smile and Steve gave her a look that said “don’t you dare”. But she didn’t care. “Never have I ever… looked at my own ass and announced “That is America’s ass.”
Bucky looked at her with a severely confused look on his face. He deadpanned when he caught sight of Steve raising that damned glass again.
“What did you do??” he asked Steve totally confused, watching him swallow the liquor.
“I’ll explain it later,” Steve said as he lowered the glass. “I’ll explain everything later.”
“Damn right you will,” Bucky replied.
It’d been many decades since Steve Rogers had been a sixteen year old boy on the schoolyard being forced to stand up in the face of overwhelming odds. He only wished he was sixteen again, because those back allies and schoolyards are going to look like a cake walk compared to having to face the ire of Bucky Barnes when this game was over.
“My turn,” Clint said with a smile and Steve groaned. Bucky bit his lip when he heard Steve groan because that only meant there were so many more stupid things that Steve Rogers had done in his absence that he’d yet to learn.
“Go for it,” Bucky said, staring at Clint, waiting.
Steve gave Clint a pleading look, asking him to have mercy. Clint simply grinned.
“Never have I ever… deliberately crashed a plane full of explosives.”
Again Bucky’s eyes went wide and he froze. When he could finally force himself to blink, he slowly turned to look at Steve. Steve simply offered a sickly grin and took a drink. Bucky took a slow, deep breath through his nose and held it for a count of ten.
“You guys do realize I can’t get drunk, right?” Steve mentioned.
“Oh this is way better than watching you get drunk,” Clint said, chuckling.
“Come on, guys, why are you doing this?” Steve asked.
“He needs to be caught up on the goings on…” Natasha stated with a crooked grin. “What better way to catch him up?”
“I can think of other ways… and other things to catch him up on,” Steve countered.
“But this is more fun,” Tony said, honestly.
“It’s actually Bucky’s turn now,” Clint pointed out with a big smile.
Bucky’s eyes lifted to look right at Clint. He took a slow breath again and thought carefully about what he wanted to say. He thought of something and nodded before spinning himself slightly on the couch bending one leg up onto the cushion he laid his metal arm across the back of the couch. Steve’s gaze shot to the metal fingers that were now inches away from his face as he waited for Bucky to take his shot… err, his turn.
“Never have I ever…”
Steve swallowed so hard his throat made a loud click.
Bucky sat silent for a moment, giving his options serious thought. Finally he said, “Never have I ever said “I love you” without meaning it.”
He and Steve looked at each other and time seemed to stand still. Everyone sat motionless, except Tony who raised his glass. Bucky’s eyes shot to the right to watch Stark take a long drink from his glass.
“Damn, I was getting dry. Thank you, Sgt. Barnes,” he said.
Bucky couldn’t help but grin and shook his head in judgment of Mr. Stark. Tony saw him and shrugged comically.
Bucky relaxed against the back of the couch, casually looking at his friend. Steve realized he’d been given a stay of execution by the one person he thought was ready to bury him. He gave Bucky a small smile of appreciation and Bucky simply nodded.
“Steve?” Natasha said; pointing out it was his turn.
“Umm...” He tried to think of something he himself had never done. “Oh... never have I ever broken a bone.”
Bucky raised his glass and downed the entire thing. Steve’s mouth hung open as he watched his friend slug back the entire glass and then slam the empty glass on the coffee table. “I win.” Bucky said, sardonically, raising his metal hand in the air. Immediately Steve felt lower than snake shit.
“Aw, man… Buck, I’m sorry,” he said.
Bucky turned to him with a smile. “What? I win, right?”
Steve just looked at him, unsure of how to read his reaction.
“The game’s not over yet,” Clint told him.
“Oh shit…” Bucky said with a soft chuckle. “Fill me up then.”
Clint looked at him and then to Steve. “Can he get drunk?”
Steve shrugged. It never occurred to him to find out. He knew Bucky had been given a variation of the super soldier serum, whereas his was the pure form of Erskine’s serum. He couldn’t get drunk if he tried and God knows he’d tried many times, but he really had no clue if Bucky could or not.
“I don’t know if I can get drunk,” Bucky answered. “Never had a chance to find out before, but I’m going to give it a try tonight. Right? Right,” he told them.
Natasha smiled, nodded and filled his glass for him. Bucky picked it up, ready for another round.
“Let’s go. Whose turn?” he asked.
“Mine,” Tony said.
“Oh shit,” Steve remarked.
“Language!” Bucky scolded and everyone burst out laughing. “Come on, let’s go… give us something I can drink to.”
Tony looked at Steve for verification and Steve shrugged. “Go ahead,” he said.
“Okay,” Tony acquiesced to Bucky’s request, “never have I ever lived completely alone.”
Bucky tossed his glass back and chugged the entire thing. Natasha paused when she saw that and looked to Steve, concerned. Steve was already reaching for the glass.
“You’re supposed to sip it,” he said as he tried to take the glass from Bucky’s hand.
“Back off, Rogers,” Bucky told him and held his glass out for Clint to refill. Clint gave Steve a half grin and shrugged. He refilled the glass and they waited for Bruce’s turn.
“Ummm, hmmm… oh I know, never have I ever gotten a tattoo,” Bruce announced.
Bucky slammed back his drink again and everyone looked at him. It took him a couple of swallows to get down the large mouthful he had, with glass in hand he pointed at the large red star on his metal arm. He finally swallowed all the liquid and said, “It counts. I’m counting it.”
“Yep, you can count it,” Clint agreed. He didn’t really consider the red star a tattoo; more like a... decal, but he was glad to see Barnes finally letting loose. Whether the outcome turned good or bad, the man deserved it. “Next? Give him something good,” he told Wanda with a wink.
Wanda gave her turn serious thought. She wanted to let Barnes have his fun tonight, he was playing along and being a good sport so she tried to think of something truthful that he could respond to that wouldn’t harm him… or set up Steve.
“Never have I ever… told a lie to my best friend,” she offered.
Tony, Natasha and Clint all drank. Then Natasha and Clint looked at each other with narrowed eyes. That was going somewhere later. Bucky regarded them silently before turning to face Steve and the two men simply looked at each other. Neither drank. That was the truth. Steve had never lied to Bucky about anything… and Bucky would never ever lie to Steve. They simply had too much respect for each other to be deceitful. The others watched them for a moment; their friendship was one for the books that was for certain. Few friendships in the present day were forged with the same strength of steel as the friendship between Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers.
“My turn,” Natasha said and smiled, “Never have I ever… slept in my roommate’s bed.” She had once found Bucky sleeping on top of Steve’s bed when Cap was out with the team.
Bucky drank and Steve looked at him curiously then grinned. So that’s why his bed would look rumpled when he came home from a long mission. Bucky wasn’t being allowed to go out with the team yet as he still had work to do with his therapist. Soon though, he hoped. Steve imagined Bucky climbing into his bed and hopefully sleeping without nightmares and fits. The image made him smile before turning his attention back to the game.
“Clint?” she prompted.
“Never have I ever jumped from a speeding car.”
Bucky drank and Nat and Steve looked at each other. They both tried not to grin but they couldn’t help it.
“Private joke?” Clint asked, noticing their exchange.
“Not really,” Steve answered him. “I’m just kind of surprised he remembers doing that.”
“I remember all of that,” Bucky told them, after he’d taken his drink… and then took another slug of whiskey for good measure.
“My turn,” Bucky said, “Never have I ever… made up a story to impress a girl.”
Tony drank and everyone turned to look at him. Bucky chuckled along with Steve and Nat.
“Steve?” Nat said.
Steve thought about it for a moment and then said, “Never have I ever… gone skinny dipping.”
Bucky drank and Steve’s eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead. Everyone else, except Wanda also drank. Steve and Wanda smiled at each other.
“Never have I ever worn the same outfit to work two days in a row,” Tony said on his turn.
Bucky drank and Steve couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped. He reached out and squeezed Bucky’s shoulder again and Bucky grinned as he stared into his glass.
“Bruce?” Nat said.
“Never have I ever… not studied for a test,” he offered.
Bucky drank and Steve grinned. He remembered many times when Bucky put off studying for a test in school and often didn’t even crack the books, but would pass the tests anyway. Steve never had that kind of confidence in himself when it came to book tests. He could always be found with his nose between the pages when Bucky would rather go to the picture show and maybe find a couple of girls to take along on a date. So many times, Steve remembered, Bucky going off without him because he felt studying was the most important thing at the time. Looking back now, Steve wished he could get all those lost moments back so he could spend them with Bucky. He looked to his friend and watched as he swept his long hair away from his face again waiting for Wanda to take her turn.
*~*~*
As the hours passed, the team had gone through three bottles of Jack Daniels and two bottles of Tony’s best Scotch Whisky – Lagavulin.
That may seem like not so much with seven people playing a drinking game, but when three of those barely touched their first glass, that left four people to slam back five large bottles of some of the finest whiskey and scotch around. Since most of the questions offered in the game were specifically being chosen to give Sgt. Barnes a noble reason to get plastered, he and Tony were doing most of the drinking because there were actually very few things Tony hadn’t done.
Barnes was feeling no pain after three straight hours of pounding back his glass. The answer to the question “Can he get drunk?” was answered. Nope… but he could get a nice little buzz, which was more than Steve could do.
Steve was having a bit of trouble pulling his gaze away from Bucky. The longer they all played the game, the more relaxed Bucky was becoming. His posture was relaxed and he smiled now and again as the game went around in circles. It was just nice to see Bucky having a good time.
The game had been a good idea and he also realized Natasha must have known precisely what she was doing when she came up with the idea. They had found that they could use Bucky’s actions as the Winter Soldier in the game; giving him a chance to acknowledge those things in the safety of the friends gathered around him. He was also able to admit these things that he’d done without turning it all inward where it festered and turned ugly. He could say “hey, I did that” without having to actually say it. He was able to acknowledge it passively, and most importantly, no one was judging him for those actions.
Now, three hours past the game’s start time, everyone was rather tipsy. Okay, not exactly everyone. Bruce and Wanda were still sober as was Steve. Clint and Natasha were on the verge of getting drunk, they were definitely well lit and Tony was hammered. Bucky was awash in flushed tones and the shiny glaze on his eyes made their steel blue color pop, Natasha had noticed as she sat across from him; he was relaxed, but not drunk.
Steve noted that Bucky’s condition with that much alcohol intake had put him in a particular mood set, that if something was said that might upset him he got upset, but if something was said that was amusing in the slightest he chuckled. Steve was wary about continuing, especially with Tony Stark three sheets to the wind. The man was a great teammate, even though he could be overbearing and a complete ass at times. There was also the issue of conduct when it came to Tony’s inebriation in a social setting. Steve simply sent up a little prayer that the night would end on a good note.
“You’re turn, Rogers,” Natasha said to get his attention back in the game. “Hello… where did you go there?” she asked as he turned to look at her.
“Sorry,” he said and then gave his turn a moment of thought. “Never have I ever… taken a ride in a hot air balloon.”
Everyone just looked at him for a few seconds and then looked at each other. Nobody drank.
“Oh, now that’s just sad,” Natasha said when she realized none of them have ever done that.
“Well, maybe that’s something we can all plan on doing at some point,” Wanda mentioned with a grin.
“There’s a place in Westchester that has balloon rides every fall,” Bruce told them. “We’ll have to check it out.” The others nodded.
“Tony?” Natasha prompted.
“Oh, me again… Let’s see, what have I never done ever?” he thought about it for a moment and then said solemnly, “I never told my father that I loved him.”
Everyone looked at him, a bit surprised by the confession. Nobody corrected the delivery of it though, it was just simply too sad.
“At least you knew your father,” Natasha told him softly. It wasn’t a challenge to what he’d offered; she was just trying to show him there was a good side to that. He had a father in his life and he knew who he was, even if they didn’t always, or ever, see eye-to-eye. Tony’s eyes were the only thing that moved as he looked at her and then nodded.
Nobody knew what to say, the game was taking on a solemn tone, but that was to be expected when people gathered to drink and began to air their little secrets to one another.
“Yep, there is that,” Tony agreed and took a drink.
Everyone sat silently for a minute deep in thought, except Bucky who looked to one then another and another until he got to Steve. When Steve looked up at him with a questioning expression, Bucky opened his mouth but opted to not actually voice his question because he really didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“Bruce?” Wanda said softly trying to keep the game from taking a nose dive.
“I- I don’t think we should…”
“What?” Tony asked.
“It’s just… I think this game has run its course. It’s getting kind of serious now,” Bruce told him, trying to remain diplomatic.
“Don’t be such a killjoy, Banner” Tony said.
Bruce glanced at his teammates and said, “I-I don’t think… I’m a killjoy.”
“You’re not,” Steve told him, as he shared the same feeling.
“Hmm, okay then I’ll take your turn since you’re not going to… let’s see,” Tony said, as he reclined in his chair. He was so slouched he was practically lying down. The hand holding his glass was resting on the arm of the chair and his arm was completely horizontal right up to the shoulder. “Never have I ever…. Ya’ know this is starting to get really hard because there’s so very little that I haven’t done.”
“No doubt,” Steve commented.
“What was that? Cap?” Tony asked defensively, trying to pull himself into an upright position. The way he emphasized Steve’s codename was also a good indication that this was going to go south real fast.
‘Oh, here we go,’ Steve thought silently. “Nothing, Tony. I just meant you’ve had a full… and active life,” he said, trying to placate Stark.
“Damn right, I have,” Tony replied. “Unlike you, who slept for 70 years… but not as full and active as that guy right over there,” he said pointing in Bucky’s direction. Bucky looked over at him and his eyebrows lifted when he saw Stark pointing at him.
“Tony,” Steve said, the single spoken word dripped with warning.
“What, Cap?” Tony said again, but it clearly wasn’t meant as a question, it was meant as a challenge.
Tony sat up, it took some effort, but he did it. “Never have I ever set a building on fire to kill someone and not care how many innocent people were killed in the process.”
Bucky looked at him, his expression full of sorrow and regret.
Steve sat up, pulling himself to the edge of the couch. “That’s enough.”
Tony snarled at Barnes and said, “Drink.”
Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat but he didn’t raise his glass. He had done that, he knew he did, but now the game had turned dark and he didn’t want to play anymore.
“Drink!” Tony ordered Barnes.
“Tony that’s enough!” Steve told him.
“He’s not playing the game according to the rules,” Tony told them and got out of his chair. He was smashed and it took a couple of good tries to actually get his body out of the seat. He walked around behind the other four that were sitting facing the two men on the couch. Bucky lowered his head, but glanced up every few seconds to keep Stark in sight.
“How about this one? Never have I ever murdered…”
Natasha stood up to face Tony. “That’s enough, Tony! Why do you have to ruin everything?”
“I ruin everything,” he stated. “I ruin everything?”
“Yes,” she told him.
Tony ignored Natasha and stepped behind Clint as he slowly made his way around the circle still focused on Barnes. “What other nasty and violent things did Hydra train you to do?” he asked, accusingly.
“What is wrong with you?” Natasha seethed through clenched teeth.
Tony ignored her. “Hmmm? We all know you killed without question… what else did they have you do?”
“Whatever he did under Hydra’s influence isn’t his fault!” Steve reminded him.
“Did you ever just beat someone up? Instead of killing them?” he asked. “Did you ever just stop short of killing someone… you know, show mercy?”
Bucky didn’t say anything. He knew that answer was no, but he didn’t want to feed Stark’s drunken ire.
Tony stepped around Clint. Clint stood up when he realized there was no one between he and Barnes and Clint didn’t like Tony’s aggressive demeanor. Man, he was an ugly drunk, Clint realized. He stepped in front of Tony and Stark pressed his body into him as if not even seeing him. He was completely focused on Barnes and tilted his head to look around Clint.
“What about women?” Tony challenged. “Did you murder women? Children?”
Clint pushed Tony backward with a hard shove. “That’s enough!”
Tony looked at Clint and scrunched his face in an expression that clearly said “who the hell are you?” And stepped forward again, aggressively trying to push past Hawkeye.
“What about rape?” Tony asked, and Bucky looked up at him with wide eyed shock. “You rape women too?” Tony asked.
“No!” Bucky finally answered in his own defense.
“Are there a lot of women working in Hydra’s secret underground lair?” Tony asked. “Hmmm? Did they bring women in for you to have your way with? Seventy years is a long time to go without touching a woman. Wouldn’t you say, Barnes?”
“It wasn’t a priority,” Bucky said, quietly.
“No women? What about that, huh… that’s a long time to be living underground in a secret lair with no women. Did Hydra let you fuck their men?” Tony demanded to know. “Hmm?”
“Tony!” Wanda shouted in shock.
Tony didn’t even pause, he continued on his track without acknowledging her. “Huh? Did they? Maybe as a reward for being a good attack dog?”
“No,” Bucky replied so softly Steve barely heard him sitting two feet away.
“Hmm, what was that? No? Or did Hydra let their goons fuck you?” Tony shot out.
Barnes suddenly stood up; his expression was a mixture of anger and pain and… something else. He stared at Stark as if he wanted to reach out and strangle him right there in front of everyone. Tony’s determination to push through Clint’s barricade softened, backing off a little as Barnes reacted. Tony’s eyes widened with a bit of dark, drunken glee. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
Steve realized what Tony was saying and why Bucky’s reaction to him was bordering a psychotic break. Steve stood up quickly and his action startled Barnes. Bucky reached down and, picking up his glass with his left hand, he twisted slightly to throw it against the wall. The speed with which he propelled the glass made it not just shatter on impact, but it turned to dust. It was a quick reminder of the power he actually had and it wasn’t something to toy with, as Stark had done.
Everyone in the room froze. Bruce was staring at what was left of the glass on the floor. Everyone else was staring at Barnes whose expression and demeanor had changed in a blink of an eye, from the somewhat sad and awkward social misfit to… well, the look of a killer, if they had to be honest. His long hair now fell across his face after he’d twisted and turned back, he now glowered at Tony through the dark strands; looking very much like the assassin he’d been turned into against his will.
“Holy shit, that’s it,” Tony half-whispered when he realized he was right. “Was it rape – or did you let them?” he asked, having to give Barnes one last jab.
Bucky’s left hand shot out like a cobra strike, wide open and aiming for Tony’s face. Luckily for Tony he had Hawkeye between them and Barnes wasn’t looking to hurt Clint. Tony shifted quickly behind Clint, using him as a shield, and the metal hand found empty space.
“Bucky!” Steve said, trying to get his friend to come back to a better place mentally. He reached out and grabbed Bucky’s arm to pull it back and as he did, his friend spun toward him. Bucky stopped short of making a move on Steve though. He blinked at his long-time friend, as if seeing Steve’s concerned expression began to ground him. “Buck…”
Bucky’s expression shifted from all-out murderous rage, to pain and humiliation. He pulled his arm out of Steve’s grasp, their eyes still locked on one another, before he stepped back. His mind was racing and the room began to spin. All he could think of in that moment was, “What was Steve thinking of him?”
“Buck?” Steve said, raising his hand slowly to show he wasn’t a threat. Bucky watched as the hand came toward him and then he lifted his gaze to look at Steve.
To Steve, it looked like his friend was about to shatter. Bucky had come to live with the Avengers to try to heal from his life of hell under Hydra’s control, in a safe environment surrounded by people who were supposed to be his friends. The one thing Steve had yet to see, no matter how much pain Bucky showed at times, was for him to cry over what he’d been put through. He stared at Steve now and Cap thought this was going to be it. Instead, Bucky spun around and left the room in very big hurry. Steve watched him head for the door, but Bucky didn’t look back.
Steve moved to follow him and stopped next to Clint and Tony. He and Tony stared at one another face to face; Steve clearly upset and Tony in challenge.
“You disgust me,” Steve told him. They glared at each other for another moment before Steve hurried out of the room to find Bucky.
The imminent, and possibly deadly, confrontation had been extinguished… by Barnes, of all people, which actually impressed the rest of the team. Yes, he’d made a move on Stark, but he was justified. The impressive part was that he stopped himself from taking them all out trying to get to Stark; he’d opted to simply leave the room.
Everyone else visibly relaxed their stance as they realized the threat of bloody violence had vanished, and now they all stared at Tony, clearly unhappy with him.
Tony looked at each of them, realizing now that he’d gone too far and he nodded belatedly in response to Steve’s comment. “Yeah… sometimes I disgust myself,” he said in reply to the man no longer in the room.
*