Archive of Our Own

Ever since the fateful day that Rupert told her, with malice in his eyes, about his baby with Bex — the one where Ted had forgiven her of the unforgivable and a part of her broken soul had begun to heal — Rebecca hadn’t Googled herself.

It was hard. To break an old habit like that, one that was like scratching a particularly insistent itch? Not easy.

But she felt better when she wasn’t looking at the headlines. They could say whatever horrid shit they wanted. It couldn’t touch her if she didn’t read it — didn’t let it control her.

But the internet, as it turned out, possessed many hidden corners that she could never have even imagined.

Every Wednesday morning, Rebecca and Keeley would meet up in her office to discuss various PR strategies for the club. Keeley’s firm had taken on certain external communications responsibilities, and it was nice to have her friend working with her in an official capacity once more, even if it wasn’t as frequently as it had been before she’d left Richmond.

On this particular day, Keeley had barely waited for Rebecca to settle into her chair before announcing, “I really think we should find a way to monotize your fan club.”

The statement caught Rebecca so off guard she stopped chewing the biscuit she’d just taken a bite of. “My what?”

“Your fan club. It’s a group online, basically dedicated to what a fucking boss ass bitch you are.”

It sounded nice. A little strange, but with good intentions.

“How were you planning on monetizing it?”

Keeley launched into her prepared speech, and Rebecca sat back and listened.

Even after Keeley had left the office, Rebecca was still thinking about it.

A fan club. For her. How strange.

Opening her laptop, she debated for a long moment before navigating to Google and beginning to type in the phrase – Rebecca Welton Fan Club.

Until she stopped.

Rebecca Welton Fanfiction

Rebecca frowned.

The word rang a bell, but for whatever reason she couldn’t quite place it, or recall it’s exact meaning.

With some trepidation, she clicked the search term.

She was immediately greeted with a website, entitled “Archive of Our Own.” She was just entering the website when she realized the name that was written next to hers.

Ted Lasso/Rebecca Welton (RPF)

Rebecca chewed her lip. Was this a fan website for Richmond of some kind?

The words reappeared as a title to the page, and Rebecca squinted at the listings – 170 works , the heading said.

As she scrolled, a kind of dawning realization began to descend upon her as she read heading after heading.

Caught in His Lasso : The cowboy will make her yeehaw before the night is over. 

Team Player : There’s eleven positions, and Ted wants to do all of them with Rebecca. 

In Her Goal : Ted Lasso may not know the offsides rule, but he knows all the rules in the bedroom.

Barking LIke a Greyhound–

This was—these were—

Fiction. Fanfiction.

“Oh.”

So people wrote stories about her. And Ted. In a… sexual context.

As though it was going to leap out of the screen and attack her, Rebecca gingerly selected a link that said On The Pitch and proceeded to read.

Rebecca was setting up cones out on the pitch. It wasn’t her job to — certainly not. But she liked being outside.

“You need some help with that, ma’am?”

“Sure,” she said breathlessly.

Ted Lasso took the cone from her and set it down on the pitch, his large hands firmly gripping the orange rubber.

“All set.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, we should get back to the real work, I reckon,” he said, before moving to unzip her dress.

Rebecca stared, open-mouthed and horrified.

“What the fuck ?”

She kept reading.

Ted was on top of her, and he reached down to run his digits through her slit. She moaned.

He unzipped his pants and took out his rod. Pushing into her channel, he began thrusting vigorously. He was like Man City in a match against Richmond – screwing her hard for ninety minutes plus overtime.

Rebecca had never seen anything more ludicrous in her life.

Why would anyone write this? Was this something people did for every club owner and manager? She couldn’t begin to comprehend what would compel someone to do this.

Porn. It was porn, featuring her and Ted. Like a sex tape, online and visible to anyone, for two people who’d never had sex.

“Knock, knock, it’s biscuits o’clock!”

At the sound of Ted’s voice, Rebecca slammed her laptop closed so hard it nearly rattled her desk. When she looked up, face flaming in a way she couldn’t begin to explain, Ted was looking at her with a concerned expression. She wracked her brain for a plausible explanation for her obvious panic.

“Sorry. Can’t… spoil the surprise.”

Instantly, Ted’s face cleared, and he made a goofy zipping-his-lips motion, adding a throwaway key for good measure.  “Ah. Say no more. Your surprise shall remain intact.”

Rebecca forced a smile. “Thank you.”

As Ted sat down, chattering away and setting her box of biscuits down in front of her, she couldn’t help but keep flashing back to the story she’d just read. All the provocative titles and summaries.

It was strange. Obviously she had never thought Ted an unattractive man. He was perfectly — appropriate, or decent, or whatever.

But that clearly wasn’t how many Richmond fans saw him. They wanted to picture his rod.

Christ.

Regardless, she couldn’t stop herself from having the thought, or letting it fester as she chewed her biscuits and listened to him speak.

Was Ted… attractive?

“Have you ever heard of fanfiction?” she asked Keeley.

“Course I have. I’ve read more Harry Potter fanfic than I have real books, probably.”

“Have you ever read any about… real people?”

Keeley eyed her. “Rebecca, what’s this about?”

“There’s… stories. Online. About… Ted and I.”

Keeley’s mouth fell open. “Oh. Oh .”

Rebecca grimaced. “I know. It’s a shock.”

Keeley bit her lip, eyes skittering away. “Oh, no, um, it’s – I just didn’t think you’d ever find out.”

Rebecca blanched. “You knew about this?”

Keeley squirmed. “Maybe? Look, it’s not a big deal. ‘S just people on the internet, doing what they do. It’s best not to interfere — not like you could even if you wanted to.”

“But Ted and I aren’t together.”

“That doesn’t matter. All that matters is that people want you to be. You could both be married and Ted move back to Kansas and they’d still want you to be together.”

“Why would they want us to be together?”

Keeley shrugged, a glimmer in her eye. “I dunno, you’re nice to each other. Both fit as fuck. They don’t need much more of a reason then that.”

“Right. Well it’s utterly ridiculous.”

“Sure, ‘course it is.”

Rebecca wasn’t convinced Keeley believed her, but she let the subject drop.

That night, she had settled on her couch with a glass of wine in hand, picking up the remote to turn on her TV, when a traitorous voice began to whisper in her ear.

She fought it. Honest to God, she did. But her curiosity won out.

Pulling her laptop towards her, she went back to the site.

Red Card , one story was called. She clicked.

It had been a terrible start to the season. With four ties and three losses, Richmond was down bad.

Rebecca hated having such a terrible record — all she ever wanted was for her team to succeed, and when they weren’t the world was a little darker as a result.

She knew one thing that could make her feel better, though.

Walking into the locker room, she saw Coach Ted Lasso sitting alone on the bench. He was combing his mustache, and Rebecca could feel herself getting very wet at the memory of it between her thighs.

Rebecca shifted, blinking.

“Good afternoon, Ted,” she said coyly.

He looked up. “Howdy.”

“Terrible loss yesterday, wasn’t it?”

“Darn shame it was,” Ted agreed. “I know I should’ve put Kent out on the pitch more, but he’s just getting too old for that.”

“He is,” Rebecca agreed solemnly. “He’s probably retiring this year.”

She sat down next to him. He looked good in his rolled up sweater sleeves and his tight khakis that showed off his noticeable bulge.

“We should cheer ourselves up,” she suggested, placing her hand on his knee.

“You’re the boss.”

Rebecca stopped, the phrase bouncing around in her head.

Something about it was just…

Something.

She continued reading.

They kissed, and their tongues battled for dominance. Rebecca climbed into Ted’s lap, and began grinding her hips into his.

“Ted I’ve been a bad girl, maybe you should give me a red card. Get me off or send me off.”

“Well, yeehaw,” he said, before pulling off her knickers and beginning to fuck her hard.

Rebecca had to take a moment just to stare blankly at the wall of her living room, contemplating her life choices.

There was… simply no way to process that. Any of it.

She sent the link to Keeley with the message:  look at this one???!!!!😱😱😮

She found another story then — this one involved the two of them getting stuck in a hotel together while on a scouting trip.

The writing wasn’t nearly as awful as some of the others. And, come to think of it, the story was rather compelling. Rebecca felt like she was slowly growing desensitized to the fact that this was about her and Ted , and more about… two characters who weren’t real.

Until she landed on a story that was a little too close to home.

They were arguing in her office about sending Jamie Tartt away. The dialogue wasn’t right, but that had actually happened.

It was bizarre, how some stranger could predict their life like this.

Then it took a turn.

The anger that had been building between them suddenly exploded, and he was kissing her fiercely and pressing her back up against her desk. Rebecca gasped as he hoisted her up onto it, sending papers and pens clattering to the floor.

She moaned as he pulled up her skirt and thrust into her, his member filling her up.  He was like Richmond in the championship; staying on top but finishing second.

“Don’t stop, fuck, Ted,” she changed as he pounded into her.

“Come for me, baby. I wanna hear you scream.”

Well. That wasn’t how the real thing had ended.

She felt… strangely off-balance. Like her skin was too small for her body. Air was difficult to get through to her lungs.

Rebecca’s clit throbbed, and her laptop clattered to the ground as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

Nope. Nope. Absolutely not.

Time to head to bed. Sleep whatever… this was off.

She was tossing and turning in an attempt to fall asleep when her phone began to ring on her nightstand.

She would have ignored it, except she could see Keeley’s name on the display. She rolled over and picked up.

“Keeley,” she greeted, smile already forming, but the word was barely out of her mouth before her friend was speaking.

“Hey, babe.” The pitch of her voice was oddly high and slightly frayed. “You know how I was giving a virtual presentation earlier?”

Rebecca’s heart sank. She knew how much Keeley had been looking forward to that. “Did it not go well? Should I get us some alcohol and come over?”

“No, it went fine. Though, you might want to… do that second thing, still.”

Rebecca furrowed her brow. “Keeley, I don’t understand.”

“You know how you texted me that link a few hours ago? While I was giving the presentation?”

“Yes…?”

“See, I may have forgotten to turn off that one feature that sends your texts to your computer?”

Her stomach twisted. “So your whole meeting saw…?”

“Mmhmm, yep. And, um, someone at the meeting—“ She coughed. “Someone might have… taken a photo? And looked up the actual story? And, like, posted about it online?”

Rebecca closed her eyes.

“Look, this is all my fault. I should have known I needed to turn that feature off, it was fucking stupid of me not to—“

“Keeley.”

Her friend stopped rambling. “Yeah?”

“You’re saying that the entire goddamn internet knows that I have consumed fanfiction about Ted and myself?”

There was a long pause.

“Basically, yep.”

Rebecca’s head thumped back against her headboard.

“Fuck.”

Everyone knew.

The entire next day, Rebecca couldn’t pass someone in the hallway without their eyes darting away uncomfortably. The team clearly knew, too, with the way they attempted to hide smirks or wide eyes as she passed.

In an unfortunate event, she happened to overhear a conversation in passing that the team was having about it.

“Has anyone… read it?” Colin asked, hesitant.

Jamie snorted. “Yeah, but I think it’s right shit that there’s more about them then me. I’m a fuckin’ footballer, for Christ’s sake!”

“I never would have thought to be so creative. Writing down a story about the love shared between two people? What could be more marvelous?” Dani beamed.

”It’s their fear of getting hurt that keeps them away from each other, innit,” Issac added.

Sam very pointedly did not participate in the conversation — there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t be a little awkward.

But as Rebecca hastily moved away from the locker room and continued her day, one thing became clear — by some divine miracle, Ted didn’t seem to have a clue what was going on.

At least, not until he was made aware.

Ernie Lounds, wanker that he was, raised his hand in a press conference and smugly asked Ted if he “felt it appropriate for a club owner to read fanfiction about themselves.”

Without missing a beat, Ted replied, “As a formerly active Gray’s Anatomy fanfiction reader, I can say there are few joys in life quite like a 100k slowburn. Oftentimes with actual burns, in that series’ case.”

Rebecca knew she had to tell him.

Still, she felt the all-too familiar nerves of telling something bad to Ted Lasso, and had to fight every urge within her that wanted to say the word procrastinate .

“What’s up boss?”

You’re the boss.

Jesus. She needed to get a hold of herself.

“Right. I’m just going to come right out and say it. Actually, this time. Not like last time where I sat here and did a stupid dance and prattled on to you about the etymology of a word and—“

“Rebecca?”

She took a deep breath. “Right. So. The club owner that went viral for fanfiction? That… was me.”

“Oh.”

“There’s one other thing.”

“What’s that?”

“The fanfiction? It’s about us.”

He blinked. “Us?”

“Yes.” She winced. “As in, you and me.”

“You and me?” he repeated, starting to sound like a broken record.

Rebecca sighed. This wasn’t working out the way she had hoped.

Reluctantly, she turned her laptop so he could see what was on her screen – she’d pulled up one of the slightly more tasteful ones, but even it had some sentences that had her avoiding his eyes with a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Huh,” Ted said finally. “That’s…”

“Exactly,” she agreed.

There were a few moments where she couldn’t read what he was thinking. But then he sat up straighter, clapped his hands together, and nodded.

”No need to worry, boss. That’s no big deal. People on the internet say all kinds of crazy stuff.”

”So you don’t mind?” she asked, dubious.

”Nah. Just a natural part of life, I reckon.”

Rebecca wasn’t sure how natural this actually was, but she was grateful that he wasn’t too upset by it.

She would consider the subject dropped, then.

Except Rebecca couldn’t stop reading it.

It was so incredibly inappropriate to read about her and her friend in compromising positions like this, without her friend’s knowledge. She’d even created an account to save her favorites — FilthyRichmond had bookmarked a flurry of stories in the last 24 hours.

He made her come with his mouth, mustache rubbing deliciously at her thighs as he sucked at her clit. When he was finished, he crawled up her body to kiss her.

“Baby doll, you’re hotter than the World Cup is gonna be this year. But I gotta have you now. Can’t be waiting for winter like we have to with Qatar,” Ted crooned.

“Then have me,” Rebecca breathed. “I need your thick shaft inside of me, now.”

Rebecca went in to the next story, barely blinking.

There was one simply called Biscuits, and she selected it out of pure curiosity. The story’s words had her eyes widening.

Ted brings it to rebecca every day and she swallows like if’s her last meal. she loves the salty taste in her mouth and the heavy weight on her tongue. Mmmmm she always moans. Delicious.

Rebecca was beginning to suspect, with a vague hysteria, that this person wasn’t actually writing about biscuits.

But bringing it to her every day? How would someone know about that?

So Ted had never been an unattractive man.

But now. After those stories…

The concept of Ted as a sexual being had unlocked some door in her mind, and she couldn’t seem to slam it shut.

Suddenly, everything he did was—was—

Sexy.

The confidence with which he walked around the club with. His dimple that appeared when he laughed at something someone said. How animated he was down on the pitch as she discreetly watched him from her window during training. His chuckle at the way she eagerly bit into her biscuits.

Her biscuits. Which had once been the highlight of her morning, and now just reminded her of—

So.

Ted wasn’t sure why Rebecca was acting so strange.

He couldn’t think of anything he could have done to upset her as of late—maybe he’d forgotten to RSVP to another event she was throwing.

When he summoned the Diamond Dogs to talk about it, none of them would quite meet his eye.

Except for Roy, of course. “Did you forget about the fucking fanfiction she read about you?”

Ted’s face felt hot. “I mean, we don’t know that she actually read it—“

“She read it,” Beard said.

“I mean, maybe she just… skimmed ‘em over, y’know? Might not have taken in all the details.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Roy threw his hands in the air. “She’s probably just embarrassed about the whole thing. Give her time and she’ll get over it.”

“Solid advice,” Ted agreed, before a thought occurred to him. “Did… any of you read it?”

The room went silent.

Ted’s eyes widened as they darted from Higgins, looking guilty, to Roy, who wouldn’t meet his eye, to Beard, who looked unrepentant.

“Right,” he said, the word dragged out.

“Don’t look at me, alright, I only saw it because Keeley fucking showed it to me. It sure as fuck wasn’t by choice.”

“Sorry, Ted,” Higgins added. “I had to know what I was dealing with. Entirely for business reasons, I swear.”

When the three looked to Beard, he simply raised an eyebrow. “Had a lot of kudos. Wanted to see what the fuss was about.”

“What the fuck is a kudo?” Roy asked, before immediately shaking his head. “Forget it, I don’t wanna know. I already know there’s stories about me on there, more then one about me with a curved penis, and I don’t wanna hear any more about that goddamn fucking website.”

She really thought she was getting away with it. But apparently her strange behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ted.

“Is everything okay, Boss?”

“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’ve just seemed a little… jumpy recently. Like a squirrel in a mousetrap.”

“Really. I’m fine.”

“The other day you almost walked into a door when you said hey to me.”

“I must not have had my coffee yet.”

“You tried to get in the wrong car in the parking lot.”

“It’s called a car park—“

“You even called me Theodore Lasso one time. I haven’t heard that name since the fifth grade, when my mama was mad at me for breaking her Grammie’s vase.”

“Ugh, fine!” Rebecca threw her hands in the air. “It’s those — fucking stories online, okay? They’ve been… messing with my head.”

Ted stopped, his brows knitting together in confusion.

Rebecca pressed her fingers to her temples. Despite her pounding headache, she knew she needed to get through this. “I just — I’d never really thought about—“ She flapped her hand awkwardly between them. “—that, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

“And the biscuits!” she added, feeling her face burn as she gestured wildly toward the pink box sitting innocently beside her. “They’ve always been a lovely gesture of yours, but now they’re—perverted, because the one story implied that they were—that they—“

When she didn’t continue, Ted slowly moved to prop his chin on his hand. “Okay, so, I’m not sure what that last bit was about, but I think I’m gettin’ the gist of what you’re sayin’. Those stories made you uncomfortable, yeah?”

Rebecca opened her mouth to reply in the affirmative, only to pause. Because that wasn’t… strictly true.

“I—No. It’s not… Uncomfortable isn’t the right word.”

Ted tilted his head. “No?”

Her throat suddenly felt dry. “No. It’s more—“ She swallowed. “They just made me… see you, I think.”

She stared at him, unblinking, and prayed that she wouldn’t have to explain any further. That he would understand.

Ted’s lips parted in surprise. “So you… see me, now?”

Mutely, she nodded.

He released a slightly unsteady breath. “Okay. Well, in the spirit of honesty, I might’ve… been havin’ some of those kind thoughts on occasion, too. For awhile now.”

Her heart skittered. “Really?”

”Yeah. But, uh.” He glanced down. “I jus’ figured that… you probably wouldn’t ever feel that kinda way about me. So.”

Rebecca’s throat was tight. On impulse, she reached across the desk to lay her hand atop hers.

When he met her gaze, she whispered, “I don’t know how I could feel that way for anyone but you.”

Ted looked somewhat overcome, and he cleared his throat. “Just so we’re being clear, you’re saying you’d like to be with me in a romantic way, right? Because I—“

”Yes, Ted,” she said, sniffling a little herself. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Can I take you out, then? On a date?”

Rebecca chuckled, pushing herself to stand up. “You’d better.”

Ted was beaming. “Hot dog. I mean, uh, well you know.”

Rebecca smiled fondly at him. “Yes. Hot dog, indeed.”

Still bouncing in happiness, Ted turned to leave. He was just outside the door when suddenly it slammed back open. Rebecca jumped.

“Sorry, just—can I kiss you?”

Rebecca could feel herself blushing, even as she said, “God, I fucking hope so.”

Ted rounded the desk, and there was a moment where they just stared at each other, grinning, before Ted started and moved to cup her cheek with his hand.

The kiss was gentle and stirring and had Rebecca sighing into his mouth—like two puzzle pieces slotting together after a lifetime apart.

When oxygen became a necessary, they pulled apart, but remain close enough that they shared the same air.

“Well. That, uh… worked,” Ted rumbled, his accent slightly more pronounced than usual.

Rebecca couldn’t take her eyes off his wet, kiss-swollen lips. She’d done that — that was because of her.

She wanted to do it again. Now. Immediately.

Apparently a mind reader, Ted cleared his throat. “Should we… wait for the date to…?”

His eyes shone with sincerity. She knew that whatever decision she made, he would respect it.

She didn’t want to wait.

“I think,” she said, voice husky, “that I’ve read enough terrible versions of our first time that I’d actually like to experience the real thing.”

Ted nodded. “Like, now? Or…?”

She pushed him back onto her couch, and he stumbled slightly at her force. “Preferably, yes.”

Ted went willingly along with her prodding, though, sitting down and craning his neck back to look up at her. “Well, okay then.”

She kissed him again, craving the connection like nothing before. She only separated from his mouth to pull his sweater off, but huffed at the reminder of his other layers.

“This always goes a lot faster in the stories,” she grumbled.

Ted’s eyes were practically sparkling. “Does it, now? You’re gonna have to fill me in on some details from those.”

“Absolutely not.” When he started laughing, a grin spread across her own face.

Then she sobered. “Really, Ted. I don’t want… some fake version of you that someone else created.” She cupped his cheek, making sure he was looking at her. It cost her a lot, to be this vulnerable. But he deserved nothing less.

“I just want you, Ted Lasso.”

Eyes shining, he nodded, and leaned forward to kiss her again. This one was soft and sweet – achingly so.

A beginning.

Slowly it turned heated again, and Rebecca moaned as Ted tugged her further into his lap. Her hand carded through his hair, and he groaned as she tugged on it. With his large hand on her back, he pressed her closer. She was desperate to feel her bare skin against his.

Grabbing his hand, she guided it to the zipper of her dress, and he dragged it down with a care that had her heart rate accelerating even further.

When she pushed the dress off her shoulders, his eyes went wide at the sight of her breasts in a black lace bra.

“Wow. You’re… so gorgeous, Rebecca.”

Rebecca had been complimented on her body plenty of times before, particularly in her sexual exploits after her divorce. But never before had she felt the words light her insides like a soft candle flickering to life.

She kissed him, hoping that her actions conveyed what her words simply couldn’t. She was grateful for him. She wanted him. She lo–

Ted began trailing a line of kisses down her neck and along the curve of her shoulder, his mustache brushing deliciously against her sensitive skin. Rebecca had to fight back a shiver.

Glancing up at her, his eyes asked for permission as his fingers trailed along the clasp of her bra. She nodded jerkily. When the garment fell to the ground, Ted licked his lips, and the sight made Rebecca’s sex ache.

Rebecca found her voice. “Thought you would be a bit… chattier.”

Ted shrugged one shoulder. “Enjoyin’ the moment, I guess.”

His mouth closed around her breast, and Rebecca arched her back as a groan spilled out of her. As his tongue swirled in a delicious pattern, her hips began grinding down on him, desperately seeking friction.

“Take off your pants,” she commanded, voice rough and needy.

Pulling off her with a noisy smack, Ted nodded even as a smile toyed at the corners of his mouth.

“Don’t look so fucking smug about it, either,” she huffed, pushing herself up and off him to yank off the rest of her dress.

His amusement dropped away immediately, and there were a few beats where he didn’t move, staring at her with pure awe written across his features.

While it was flattering, and made her heart twist with overwhelming fondness, she was feeling impatient and desperate.

“Ted,” she said.

“Oh. Right.” He stumbled to his feet, unfastening his khakis and shoving them off his hips.

“Those, too,” she added, reaching out to tug at the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

His face was a little red as he nodded, pushing them off as well.

Rebecca suddenly understood what he had been feeling moments earlier — all she wanted to do was stand here, lips parted, staring at his naked form.

He was beautiful, and he was hers.

Rebecca took one of his hands, which had been clenching and unclenching by his side, into her own. Raising it to her lips, she gently kissed his knuckles, and watched his face soften.

‘Thank you,” she said, and she hoped that he understood she wasn’t just talking about him taking off his clothes.

Ted’s throat bobbed in a swallow as his hand moved to tangle with hers. Using this connection, he was able to tug her closer into another soft kiss. Rebecca was addicted to them — there was no denying it.

They maneuvered so that Ted was lying down on her couch, with her splayed on top of him. The first press of their skin together had them letting out twin sighs of relief, and when Rebecca reached down to curl her fingers around his cock, Ted let out a grunt that she was certain would haunt her dreams.

‘Do you have—” Ted asked, his breathing shallow as she sucked at his neck.

Rebecca’s forehead dropped to his shoulder. Yes. Right.

Clambering off him, she went to her purse on her desk, rummaging a little bit desperately through its contents. When she successfully found what she was looking for, she turned back around, only to find Ted watching her with a sappy, adoring expression.

She wondered how on Earth she’d missed it for so long.

Striding back to the couch with purpose, she wasted no time in throwing her leg across him and steadying herself with her hands on his chest, grinding down onto him. His hands came up to grip her hips, stilling her.

“Warn a fella first, jeez.”

Rebecca giggled, the sound bubbling up from her throat. “Not going to apologize.”

“Mmm, see, that’s not helping, either.” He returned her smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling at the force of it.

She rolled the condom on and pushed herself upright to sink down on him. The pressure had her eyes slamming shut and a litany of curses escaping.

Ted seemed to be right there with her, hands bruisingly tight on her hips and guttural, desperate sounds leaving his mouth.

She started slow, with gentle rocks of her hips, before gradually picking up the pace.

“Do you – like this?” she asked, breathless and panting.

A bark of laughter left him, a sound so uncharacteristic she slowed slightly in surprise.

“What?” she said, a hint of irritation and defensiveness creeping into her tone.

Ted immediately stopped chuckling, but his grin was wry. “Honey, this is one of the best moments of my life.”

Before she could react, he was banding and arm around her back and turning them over so that she lay beneath him. He secured her legs around his waist.

The first rough thrust had her gasping out in surprise at the delicious new depth.

“Rebecca, you are so brave–” He was hitting a new spot. “—And smart—“ His hand pushed her leg higher, making the stretch burn that much hotter. “—And beautiful. Never wanted anyone more, ‘Becca, you gotta believe me…”

She did. “I do. I believe you.”

“Good, that’s—so good, sweetheart.”

He reached down and began rubbing her clit.

“I thought about this too,” she babbled, practically incoherent at this point. “So much. You don’t even know...”

With one last swipe at her clit, she came hard, pleasure sparking up her vision causing her to cry out. She could vaguely feel his face pressing into her neck as he followed her over the edge.

As they basked in the quiet aftermath, working to catch their breath, Rebecca couldn’t stop herself from pressing another giggle into his chest.

”Jesus Christ. I’m an idiot.”

Ted chuckled. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

”But to think. I could’ve had this all along. How fucking silly of me.”

”Yeah, maybe. But also, maybe the timing wasn’t right before. Maybe it’s only in the here and now that we were meant to be, and you made it right on time.”

”With the help of a few horny strangers,” she quipped, but couldn’t stop herself from moving to kiss him.

Maybe he was right. Regardless, she was grateful to be here now. The rest of her life was looking a whole lot brighter.

During her maid of honor speech at their wedding, Keeley admitted with a manic grin that the biscuits fic was something she had written in a drunken haze.

“It was so obvious, to anyone who was paying attention, that these two were madly in love with each other for a very long time. And as such, those biscuits he brought her were absolutely, without a doubt a dick metaphor.”