Work Text:
I’m a bit new to England, but in American society, it's all Individualism. That’s why I was so attracted to the freedom I have now. To be unapologetically Held As One. To be cared for and a part of something. I had spent years in college learning existentialism just trying to find more and more answers to everything. Sounds a bit like The Eye, huh? Perhaps I’d have been suited for it just as well, but truthfully all people are suited for everything. It’s a matter of choice…these things that rule us can claim us, sure but they don’t really mind this way or that way. As long as their stomachs are full. I choose the rot. It’s utterly disgusting. I'm as much of a battery as I am a hand or a vessel. It allows for my answer though and that is what’s most important.
The most convoluted and confusing existential books can truly be boiled down to cliche simple phrases. The one I decided on is life is what you make it. So I wanted to make it full of people and love. I’m sure love is a common theme for us of the Crawling Rot. The thing is I never cared much for most people and those few people I did I only ever kept them as long as I did because we never got too close to feel love. Friends. Nice and all but it's not love. Love is harder and to speak plainly I’m not an easy person to handle. Rare are the few who are attuned to doing it naturally but it was never going to be perfect. Love is never ideal. So I simply thought I would ascend into feeling an artificial love. Stories worked for a while. Tv shows. Movies. Drugs worked best. This is where I was first marked with the rot. Where it sank through my fingertips and slid deep beneath my skin.
I’m sure you’ll roll your eyes. I certainly do these days. The Crawling Rot, my chaotic and tender god used Magic Mushrooms? Yes. I was twenty-one and quite ready to experience something new and all-encompassing. The fungus was such a prime example of that. The spread of love and ascension. I’m sure so many others have come to you and struggled with their words on how they became what they became. How they love it entirely and became its existence in some strange matter. I simply chose to love and ascend. I’m writing this with all my little mushrooms. Cute ones and giant freaky ones. I love them all and they love me back.
As a show of the love I’ve chosen; I’ve sent one that can't hurt you. Not poisonous, not hallucinatory (unless you’d like one!), just a cute little one with moss in a terrarium for your desk. Spritz it with water frequently. Oh! I’m sure you want to know why I’m writing and offering my story. Right, yes. Someone’s been watching me. I’ve nothing to do with Jane’s shenanigans. I also don’t do more than frighten people on mushroom trips or in forests full of mushrooms. Never killed anyone or anything. That’s not very loving.